Unimaginable?

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Had to check.  BP is 115/78 with a pulse of 76.  Blood sugar is 112.  Those are supposed to be good, but... I'm feeling not so well.  Ah, I forgot to stop taking the smaller carvedilol pill.  Too late for last night or this morning, but tonight...  Forgot?  Or was simply not sure it was at that stage?  I make up my mind, sometimes, then reconsider.  Definitely taking it out of the menu tonight.

I may have 4 to 6 cc's of fast acting, with lunch.  Which I can eat now, really.  I have to have my last meal by 18:00, it is just 14:46, and... yes.  I plan on a snack, too.  Peanut butter (keto friendly, no added sugar and good simple and few ingredients), to be used with celery and baby carrots.  Might have those right after the sardines and crackers, to wash the fish down a bit better.  I do like sardines, I really don't like sardine burps!

With it being as warm as it is, I won't bother with a later chores.  I can tell, from the sound of the vehicles going by, that it is still thawed out there.  And, with the tom given a good meal, I am not worried about that.  That, in any case, is just a... second thought.  He isn't on my absolute list.  Anything he gets is just a kindness.  Mostly he will get dry cat food, maybe leftover canned cat food.  Only on rare occasions will he get warmed/cooked meat.  Christmas will be one of those days.

I wouldn't feed the girls meats, but I have to live with them.  It isn't good for them.  They really do need raw, fresh caught, meats.  Still, if I don't share, I... hear about it for weeks.  Women, whether cat, dog, human, or else... have issues with "sharing".  Ha.  Sharing?  Something like that.

I best check on what is thawing.  I am hoping for something good tomorrow, and Saturday.  Thankfully, I bought two of each turkey legs and wings.  What was ruined in the oven yesterday was supposed to be for Saturday.  What a waste!  It does make me feel bad.  But, oh well.

Very good numbers.  I still can't believe they are so good.  I am going to be honest, I have eaten and taken meds this well before.  Why it hasn't worked?  Very good question.  Now, am I losing weight?  Doubtful.  But... at this exact moment, that isn't the issue.

I am not feeling really well.  I think, at least, the bp is too low.  I'll... work on that though.  At least I am able to be consciously aware, and considering options.  Making decisions.  But, not too quickly.  Better to procrastinate just a bit, when dealing with medicines which can kill you... or worse.  Yes, there is definitely worse than death.  

At this rate, if things really do work, and I can manage numbers, food, health... summer... if I can acclimate as well as I did last year, might be a really good summer.  Perhaps the best summer I have ever known as an adult.  When I was in the Navy, I was working hard all the time.  There really wasn't time off, or vacations.  Then, when I became ill, it's been rough or worse since.  Summers being worse than all else.

Could you imagine, thirty five years after falling ill, finally being able to enjoy a little bit of life?  All that time, wasted!  Meh, water under the bridge.  I'll keep at it, I'll tell you.  I have hope to have a little bit more to life than what I have seen as an adult, or imagined for decades.  Amen.