The foot got worse.

.

.

Just the one that was already hurting.  That after being careful with it, tending the possible causes or contributers to the problem.  The reason I think, sometimes, that the cause is a person or force?  Because it only worsens when I am asleep.  The ache never intensifies while I am awake.

Only when I am nicely tucked into bed.  Not while walking on it (them), or standing on it, or being more active.  Now, part of the reason I suggest force, as opposed to person?  Because I have things blocking the path up.  Blocking the stairs.  Not impossible to get through.  But, very difficult to replace in the order I arrange things, from the far side, once having gotten things moved to enter.

Again, that isn't impossible.  Just... unlikely.

A ghost, demon, else?  I can't say.  But I have been quite damaged in... dream battles with dark things.  I've awaken to bruising, pulled joints, and scrapes.  Possible, if dream paralysis fails.  Though, even then, pulling a shoulder isn't likely, if bruises could be.  Scrapes too, are unlikely.  Scratches totally not likely.

When I woke, I was terribly hungry.  Not of belly, of flesh.  I was near feinting, passing out.  A can of kippers, then a bowl of rice and cream.  Blood sugar has been high lately, without eating for three days it was 115 and 120, the last two days.  But was 96 the last time I checked fasting numbers.  Odd.

Oh, mother?  I am wondering if she has found a drug source.  Doc, "friend", gullible or ignorant friend who doesn't realize they are dealing with a gangster granny addict?  The... m.o. is typical when she used to drink or drug.  Or, maybe, just a dry drink/drug effect?  Pain can... recall those effects.  Whatever, I can't handle the behavior.  Won't.  It is beyond me, even if it's some sort of flashback effect, event(s).  Just thoughts, based on memories as a child.  I learned far too much far too young.

Well, on back to bed.  A few more painpills, and prayers.  Even if God won't fix this, perhaps someone can use my suffering to help them get through purgatory.  I... have quite a number of beloveds who may need... purification.  I'll plug those names.  If not needed, for one reason or another, I will ask God or my guardian angel to pick the worst of the worst, to offer greater hope and endurance.  Some lonely sob who... like another I know oh too well doesn't deserve it but got serious grace anyway.  Especially one who is not known, remembered, and has no one to pray them through.  Amen.

Good night.