I did try.

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I was thinking 13:00 was the time.  Whatever else I wrote, my mind... connected with 13:00.  That wasn't right.  No problem, the event has just been moved to Monday.  All good.  However, with the hand pies baked and fresh, I asked that the arrive and take those.  I may yet get to that other sort of pie, after checking the old dough.  My fridge is near, just under, freezing.  So they may be just fine, double and triple wrapped as they are on top of that.

I tested the cherry.  It was good.  A bit light on sugar, more like a tart, somewhere between a true sweet pie and a tart.  More on the tart side.  But good.  Especially with the crust sprinkled with sugar.  I haven't tried the peach yet, but they smelled very good.  Those may be sweeter.  I couldn't find a good idea of ratios of sugar to particular fruit, so had to just guesstimate.  All good.  It's fun, too.

The crust is easy to make.  The real time involved is in making sure the butter is cold enough... an half hour dip in the freezer, coming from the refrigerator.  Then dicing that into very small chunks.  Then freezing that again, if need be.  You can work that with your hands, or with knives, or several other ways, but a food processor or blender would do well, if it's powerful enough.  It won't be perfect, not like a true pastry chef would make it, but it is better than store-bought by far.

I need to make a stew before long, and cook it until the meat is tender enough, then make meat pies this way.  Perhaps just freezing them without baking them first.  Sure, it takes 40 minutes, thawed, give or take, to bake them.  But that is okay too.  I just don't care much for the microwave, as I have mentioned.  I did get a shower taken, and the dishes back in for a final soapy soak, to be washed, then rinsed, and perhaps done yet today.  It works out.  Hmm...  I am hoping to do a bit of domestic this weekend.  It'll be slow.  I am still sort of in gimp mode.  I pushed and finagled, fell, got up quickly, and went back down just as quickly.  I think I am holding onto the edge.  Not barely, but not strongly.  Going forward, but with a bit of caution, is the way.

Later.

Crawled out of bed.

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Barely.  At 10:15-45.  No clue.  I set the alarm for 9:00 this morning and messed with it until I fumbled somewhere.  Can't remember if I shut it off or if it ended up waking me.  Sleep was beautiful.  I dreamed, seemingly, all night again.  Nothing remains of those.  They seemed, mostly, just typical dreams though, from what I recall and feel this morning.  I knew, right away, what I was intending on doing.  I also had no clue what I was about, if you know what I mean.  It's like knowing you are supposed to fold socks, but you don't know where either hand actually is.  I guess I didn't need to know.  I got going right away.  First I drained the dish water so that the shower will be open when I go to do that.  Then took care of morning duties, washed up like a surgeon as I do before cooking, then went to work.  As I said, I had no idea how to do things, or any feel, but I did get to it.

I had forgotten to sugar and spice the fruit, so that was the first thing.  I had put the thawed fruit into the refrigerator, in it's original packaging.  Thankfully it was still thawed.  Not always a guarantee, if I think I turned down the thermo in there which, mostly, fixed that.  Sugared, spiced, and everything nice.  Then I pulled out the pastry dough I made fresh last night.  I still have a couple of pie flats worth of the old stuff.  I didn't want to use that, not for these.  I'll make a couple of peach, perhaps one depending on how much there is, dessert that is like a pie, without the tin.  Looks like the following.  It won't be so fancy, just peaches as that is all I have. 

I've got about an hour, and the fruit pies should be done.  All else I need to do is to take a shower and dress appropriately.  It will be easy enough to slide those out, and this or those in, between showering and dressing.  I still don't know what I am doing, but that's just fine so long as it gets done.  I can nap after.  I like naps.  Though work can sometimes make naps impossible. 

Oh?  Yes, well, one cherry and one peach each.  I figure they can have one here, if they like, and take one with.  I'll probably gobble my cherry hand pie as soon as it is cool enough.  I don't know about the pictured desert.  It depends on how well the crust is, how it lasted.  Don't know.  It's just an experiment.

I suppose I ought to get busy.  After the shower I will put the dishes back in to a fresh soak.  They might only need one wash after the various soaks.  The water was still sudsy, which means the various grease, butter, and such was pretty much washed away.  Later.

Fruit hot pocket pies.

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Well, that is the plan.  I finally got started.  It's not that difficult if it is time consuming.  I just need to make enough crust for two pies.  First though, butter needs to be diced into 1/4 to 1/8 inch pieces.  This time the pieces nearly melted while I was working.  So they have gone into the freezer for an half hour.  Everything else is ready, and I cleaned the spot I need for rolling that out.  I have thawed two packages of peaches and a package of cherries.  Frozen was all I could expect at this time of year, but there is nothing added, not even sugar.  Organic too, if not by preference.  There simply wasn't a choice for the fruits I was looking for. 

After I mix the crust I will let that refrigerate for a while, perhaps put it in the freezer for a quicker cool down.  In that time I will mix the fruit with whatever amount of sugar seems necessary.  Peaches and cherries are rather sweet.  Still, depending on type, they may need more than I suspect.  A bit of allspice for the peaches should be a nice add.  I may combine, and let it all sit and stew in the refrigerator, baking the pies fresh for the visit.  Even if I sleep in late again, there should still be plenty of time.  Fresh baked is better, and it is nearing bedtime. 

I have attempted to tinker with a few things, attempting to update my video card, Steam, and then do a workaround for silver... somethingorother... a program that is supposed to let me watch videos on amazon.  Another try, a bit of tinkering, nothing successful.  I am told that the video card drivers are up to date, so that wasn't actually a failure.  Everything else was.  Oh, and I did get a load of dishes set to soak.  I have drained off the goo... cheese and menudo make for messy dishes.  Combine them and, well...  Actually I have drained them off twice.  I did a bit of spot washing in there, but not a real wash.  Too messy, the water was too nasty for much more than scraping of cheese.  Should be ready for a first wash tomorrow morning, after I get the pies going.

It's been a slog of a day.  Late to start.  Never really did get going.  Didn't get much done.  Did what I could, I suppose.  Later...  Or, actually, good night.

I knew I didn't want to work with Steam.

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I have known for some time, just from things I have read and a bit of digging, that Steam wasn't how I wanted to do things.  I am sure, if you have a group of people, and abuse systems without caring too much about some things, Steam might work for you.  However, several days ago, realizing I had a more modern machine, that I might be able to play a game with it, I started thinking about how to get one to try.

On Amazon, you can purchase them as a download.  I looked for a game that works with Vista, could be downloaded, and was along the lines of my play type.  There wasn't much, not that I was willing to spend too much money on.  Many of my first choices were more expensive for download than for cd/dvd version.  Not going to happen.  I did find one, bought and downloaded, only to find out that I had to install Steam to play it.  Not happy.  Still, there it was.  So I went ahead and downloaded and set up Steam.

I am assuming you have to be online to play, though I have tinkered with that.  As is, the game is so slow it is impossible to play.  I couldn't even get through the options menus.  I checked the game requirements, and I have a better machine then the recommended requirements.  I must assume that playing through Steam is the problem.  I will never again download a game.  Actually, I'll probably dump this version of the game, dump Steam... no pun, mostly... and end up buying a cd/dvd version of the game, to see if it was Steam or if it is this computer.

YouTube works fine.  I can't get Amazon movies to play in spite of getting it to play on the XP version of Pale Moon, without having to do any workarounds.  Weird.  Hmm... then again, I might be able to get it to work on IE.  Still, I hate using IE.  Very insecure and MS steals and sells the information it gets from watching what you use on it's software.  Don't even think they don't identify you, hand the information over to nefarious parts of the government, or do whatever they want.  Hell, it was through abuses of their software that they have created the sort of government that doesn't give them a choice at this point. 

Hmm...  Couldn't get a nap in, but I did get some of the dishes going, had lunch, and finally had a cup of coffee.  Still a blurry lame day.  Might be able to do a few things though.  Barely able, but the door seems to be creaking open.  A task here, a bite there, a sip there.  A few more things, I hope, before I crash hard again.  Later.

Crowbar?

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Stuck.  Pretty much just sitting, looking at the screen.  A few past plans have been updated.  A change in the time to do one thing, and a second response from the manufacturer.  They suspect what the problem is, so will be sending a part.  Active efforts are not happening.  I did make coffee.  Earlier, much earlier.  I have not yet poured a cup of the stuff.  It's 15:00?  The last time I remember looking it was right around noon, perhaps.  No focus, no function.  I'll try to break out and do something this evening.  Or... not.

I have been tinkering with the machine.  I thought to watch a movie.  The problem is Silverlight will not function with the fuller version of Pale Moon.  I used 32 bit, initially, since the 64 bit version seems to have more problems with some third-party products.  I changed to 64 bit, to see if that would work.  Nope.  In forums I found a work-around.  A work-around that doesn't work.  I may look for another solution, sometime.  Coffee, something to eat, and then a nap.  Unless I take to long and just crash.  Yes, I can nap right over even a full pot of coffee, in my current state. 

I pushed to get going this morning.  Barring that, I will do just what I must for a few days.  I believe I suggested I might make more fruit pies.  I am hoping to get those made tonight.  The crust is easy.  And without a pie plate, these things are really easy.  Sometime I would like to make these but with meat and vegetables.  With the right mix, they might even be good cold, once cooked.  Easy for travel food, or a picnic sort of thing.  Though a microwave on the road might not be a bad thing.  Peach, maybe cherry, perhaps a bit of both.  If I can get to it.  Yeah, and if I can get on to lunch, I may start dishes soaking.  A lot of ifs.  But I am hungry, so...  Later.

I did try.

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I struggled with the alarm longer than I normally would.  Resets, the snooze bar.  I was trying to force myself awake over some block.  I simply could not stumble awake.  Once awake, I could not function.  I kept hoping I might get wind to the sails.  It simply would not happen.  I won't be doing much today.  One part of me wants to go back to bed, the other part is too awake now.  I don't hurt, I just can't feel anything.

The machine finished updating last night.  I suppose it is about as good as it gets.  The printer works, more or less.  When it wants to.  A couple of things I tried to print, if from internet connections that weren't allowed all their cookies, wouldn't print out.  Some things have printed, such as the map.  Such is the way of things, I suppose.

Today?  Rest.  I have no choice.  A nap in a few hours, most likely.  I might pile dishes into the bin, and soak them.  Other than that, I don't know.  Not much.  I pushed a little too hard in several areas, pulled out of a fall, if I think I just delayed it.  I have food prepared that will last a day or two.  I thawed some of the new pork, and could grill that tomorrow.  I am simply too tired, right now, to think much.

I am disappointed that I didn't make it.  I had more reasons to go than I have discussed.  It just wasn't a choice.  At least I prepared, in case I could go.  Maps, clothes, shoes, all ready.  I did what I could for as little as that means, sometimes.

Later.

Did I ever mention that there is always more?

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I was pretty set up.  I was on the way.  Then... the hog was done, and I needed to pick it up.  I could have waited.  But tomorrow timing is unsure, Monday is scheduled, probably, and... and I am pushing things as is.  So I had no choice but to pick it up today or wait, probably, a week... perhaps more.  I am at a time of falling.  I am past due.  I did fall, actually, but tinkering with the machine offered a sort of quickening.  How long anything is going to continue working is simply not knowable.

To the butcher shop I went.  That was a lot of hog.  I also checked on the beef.  Yeah, there was no way I could get to the viewing tonight, not with a vehicle full of meat, and the time was getting too questionable.  I will get my outfit together tonight.  I will get to bed on time.  I will have what I need for a shower, first thing, laid out.  I will do what I can.  I may make one more run to town, to fill up the tank.  It all seems so easy, and is... right until it all falls apart.  I'll know soon enough.

The machine has been updating pretty much nonstop today.  Sometimes, when I am blogging, or playing little games, the update process will crash, or seems to crash, and I have to start over.  Usually it remembers where it went stupid, and picks up from there, mostly.  I have learned a few things, so as to make viewing various pages better, better than it was before.  Sometimes.  I still haven't figured out how to increase the the screen resolution, and make it widescreen.  I've looked at various components and software.  So far, every time I try it I have to finagle my way clear to get out of some menu item when the mouse won't go high or low enough to manipulate it.  Messy. 

A bit of a rest after unloading the meat and putting it into the freezer.  That presented no real trouble, so I think I am doing well enough.  When it gets busy, I'm telling you, it gets really busy.  Later.

Always more.

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As I continued to update the new(er) computer, I was doing all at a snails pace.  Ah, the time to shower.  So, I went in and did that.  Then I realized I should have looked up driving instructions, then pen those out.  But, wait, why have a printer if you aren't going to use it.  Hold on, though, how do you use a printer that hasn't been set up on the new machine?  So... bit by bit I pecked through the list of things to do.  It is about time to go, past time but this should work out.  I still need to eat a bite, I lost track and breakfast was missed.  I don't want to get there and be wobbly from hunger or such.  Just a fast meal, though.  Nothing fancy.

I did find one of the pairs of dress shoes, and matching socks, should I be able to get out and go tomorrow.  I will need to check on a few other things before I go to bed.   My intent is to go, regardless of notions.  But my health is what it is.  It has been great, lately, at times, until I fall flat.  One thing at a time.  Later.

I'll keep at things.

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I need to get ready to go this evening.  I have been doing bits of work on this computer, updates, configuration, setups, and... I have a ways to go.  No luck on figuring out how to update IE, so far.  I am guessing Vista has to be upgraded to a level where it can handle IE 8 or better 9 or 10.  It's not there yet.  One last batch was updated and so the machine will have to be restarted.  It's a lot of work, and tricky, some of it. 

Further, I received a reply from the faucet manufacturer.  A picture was requested, and a query as to the problem.  I received that yesterday, but my faucet is in parts, so I was dithering about that.  Finally I decided to pull a picture from one of the sellers and send that instead, hoping he just wanted it for id purposes... numbers are easy to type incorrectly.  I included the borrow picture and a very short and to the point reply to the question asked.  Mostly.

As well, I received a note requesting my attention with regards to possible plans for Burning Man this year.  Well...  Okay.  I'm busy, but... why not try.  So, I checked my BMan profile, but can't get in.  So... I requested help from their techs, as I believe the problem is that I used an email address that is now defunct.  Though I may not have used the correct username, too.  I have a lot of other potential things lining up this summer and fall, so I don't know anything.  However, the arrangement is rather flexible, for BMan, as with the others.  And, I think, with most needs for whatever already met, and ready to go, and finances in somewhat decent shape, all or none of it is possible.  Depending how things work out on the other end.  More so if I stop ordering... stuff.  Heck, if none if it works out, and I have saved, perhaps I will put the hammer down on a top-notch gaming rig... to sooth the burn.  :p

Well, I best get going.  A shower, then a stop somewhere for a small meal, and then on the road.  I have plenty of time, but you know how time goes when you know you have plenty of it.  Oh, and I want to look for my dress shoes before the shower.  I don't need them for tonight, but for tomorrow if I can go.  Plans are dicey, with me.  But being ready for them, just in case, is my best bet.  I can do, on the fly, and just live with that, and do well enough, sometimes.  But... yeah...  Later.

Now that was sleep.

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I went to bed early.  Shortly after 20:00, I believe, or was it 21:00.  I was pretty done.  It's odd how tiring wrestling with a couple of computers can be.  There is very little involved, physically.  But until things are sorted, the mind, or my mind, doesn't rest.  Even when taking a break my mind is still sorting where to start next, or how to get something done.  It simply can't shut off.  I went to sleep so very hard, what I call a crash landing.  I was asleep so hard and fast that sometimes I can hurt myself, sore muscles, a headache, and other possible problems.  The mind and body go from on to off so fast that sometimes I don't have the time to settle into a safe position.

No problems this morning.  If I did wake an hour late.  I just could not rise.  Oddly, in spite of all of that, I am doing very well this morning.  Not only am I not in pain, I feel rested and ready to go.  I need to update a number more programs, systems, and drivers, or at least check them.  There is much I would like to do to get the various programs back into a similar visual form, as much as that is possible.  The OS is simply different, even the version of Pale Moon I can use is different (and much, much faster by the way).  I am not sure if I can reproduce what I had, completely.  Further, I stumbled, through years, figuring out little bits that pleased me, as to appearance and function.  I don't remember how I did every little tiny thing.  No idea, boys and girls.  I don't even, exactly, remember HOW I had things.  I just know some things I don't like, visually, which is probably the path to the old way.

Dreams though.  It seemed like the whole night.  While some were of darkness, they weren't meant to be nightmares.  They were all connected.  I saw my life from when I was young and confused, to my falling away into darkness, and then eventually to my calling out of that.  Yes, there were things I did not understand before.  While I knew much, I had never backed out and viewed the path I took with the perspective of a birds eye, literally sort of or psychologically... or philosophically or theologically.  Much was learned.  Understanding was gained.  And some peace from that.  If it were an object of art, I would have to call it... terribly beautiful.  Some of my hardness might be... softened through that dream.  Don't think it dulled, however.  Or sharpened.  It merely allowed me to be what I am without as much... worry... guilt... anger... harshness... something.  I don't have a right word for it, only a sense.  A warrior who goes into battle with only duty and fear, but no love or truth or faith, is... perhaps... a harder fighter... but often a lost one.  I am less of a lost warrior.  Much less.

A few things to attempt yet this morning.  I also have some real world projects I must attend.  I am still having difficulty with the physical aspect of life, and yet I must try.  A funeral is coming up.  I thought I could handle the viewing, and funeral, with ease.  I think I can handle the former.  But the latter...  For me to attend the latter, I must have proper attire.  And, whether, in the end, I can attend, I will be ready.  Sometimes that is how one does what is difficult?  Not seemingly being able to die is a terrible thing.  A wrong form of jealousy can form.  An anger, to, at those who may now rest.  But a fear, and odd relationship, with death begins to exist.  Difficult to explain.  You have to have been there.  Still... I wish to, hrm, work toward being arranged in case I can push through.  Best to try to be quiet there.  I can't deal with much, but don't want to be a spectacle.  Difficult things involved here.  More than I thought.  But there is something right about going.  The last funeral I could not attend, health was really bad and that may be true this time.  But the possibility is there, health wise, maybe.  So... now I am realizing some things.  I doubt if I am alone in such... which, actually, is why funerals are held.  Yeah, double talk in a way, but not at all.

I best get on to a few things.  Breakfast of some sort, in a bit.  I may try to update a few programs that seem to be required for a few downloads.  *shrug*  At least I have the system basically functioning.  Good day.

Okay, now that's a twist.

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I have not been doing the best, off and on, lately.  After today, I realize just how much better I am generally doing.  I am sore.  From sitting!  Long stretches of concentrated effort, waiting for things to load, working out the details, restarting, and hitting it again have had me sitting a great deal.  As I mentioned, even so, I took breaks from time to time.  I have also been up to take care of a few other things.  A cup of coffee, water, or milk, lunch, and those interminable bathroom breaks.  Even so, I am actually sore from sitting so long.  This is a very good thing.  Just a few years ago, I only ever sat and slept.  I remember, at times early on, when not even the water pill could get me out of my chair as often as I should.  I would simply shake my leg like Elvis for two or three hours before finally getting to it.  Which didn't help with water retention.  But until other things improved, that was just the way of it.  I am pleased with the improvements.  Heck, sometimes I just get up and walk around to get up and walk around.  Which is why more things get done.

I don't know how close I am to updating everything.  Even after three or four rounds of updating Windows, I am on another 7.  Beats the 92, and who knows how many updates the first run.  Still... tick-tock, tick-tock.  I have a couple of hours before bedtime.  Though I took a nap, a perfect one right at two hours, I will sleep easily tonight.  It has been a lot of work, a lot of thinking, and a lot of waiting.  I am hoping to finish the updates, update a few side things, and run a program which should get rid of much of the junk they stuff into systems.  I'll keep at it until bedtime or exhaustion claim me.

I can't believe how much of a mess this system was when I lit it up.  Nothing worked, programs were tripping over each other to no good ends, while also preventing installing better programs.  I honestly didn't think I would have it running today.  I thought it would be a week, give or take a few days either way.  For one thing, I have never used Vista.  To some degree, all OS's, at least Window OS's, save Win 8, have some reasonably familiar settings, systems, and function.  I guess that was enough.  Perhaps the printer will have a better function with it, though maybe printers don't arrive with any real controls anymore?  I hope to have that sorted out tomorrow.  Hmm... if nothing else, while tinkering with that, I will see if there is a free word processor that I could use for the programming scripts.  So long as I can import what needs to be printed that should work.

Videos, while not much better looking even when I can push them to hd, are much faster to load and don't hang nearly as often.  Ah, that is sweetness.  There is nothing like having video just crash, and get bound, from too little memory and whatever else might be the problem.  Bandwidth, processing power, whatever.  This is a quad-AMD 2.3gh, with, I think, 8gb RAM and a 2gh video card.  All old, relatively slow, but not bad.  Sure beats a Pentium 4 with 512g RAM and who knows what sort of video board.  Top of the line for that motherboard, but that isn't saying much anymore.

I've got work to do.  But this is the last post for tonight.  Good night.

Well...

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A new old computer, sitting in the corner gathering dust, was pulled out, set up... mostly, and set to fill the spot of the fallen machine.  I have done what I can to make it work.  It took a lot of fiddling, and I doubt it's security.  I know there needs to be a great deal of updating.  It was a machine I purchased for my last lover.  She had no use for it, tech isn't her thing, as it turns out.  The thing has sat, unused, for over a decade.  First with her for five years and more, than with me.  Well sealed, it wasn't even dusty.  Some things aren't updating, or well.  I suppose there should be some cycle of what has to be updated first, or...  Not fun, but not painful either.  Sort of like working on an old engine, of the tech variety.

I have set up provisional security.  It was a mess to even get to that point.  The security ware that came with it saw everything as... Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!  There were two different security systems, and of course Windows worthless suites trying to fill in as the others were eliminated.  I am having some difficulty updating the new software.  I have ordered software that arrives on cd, and will be a better long term solution, and active solution, which will also work for both this and my laptop.  What I have will work as inactive scanning, though, on top of that.  I have learned a few things.

Just getting the screen to be correct, functional, usable, was a bit of a twist.  Yeah, that old.  There were wide screens back then, but just barely.  It wasn't what these were typically set up to use.  The video card doesn't even have an hdmi out.  Mostly offline, I tinkered, toyed, pushed, punched buttons, and hoped.  It's... mostly running... seems secure after a scan...  And, after a number of adjustments, I was able to get Pale Moon going, and then find my blog, and after more tinkering, open up settings so that I could log in after several attempts.  I guess I just need problems to solve.  Not bad, really.

Right as I was finishing, I received a call from a collection agency, for the bills that the V.A. has preapproved but that the hospital had failed to attempt to collect.  It is down to $250, or so, from the initial $1250, give or take.  I told her the story, and that I do not owe anything, and that I would be speaking with hospital admin shortly.  This is a travesty of hospital incompetence that has plagued me for half a decade now.  I put some small blame on the V.A.  They approved it, and all my attempts to act as a go-between were rebuffed, by both sides.  So I take, and feel, no responsibility.  Depending on how well they handle the case will depend on how public I go with things.  Darned kids.  Off my porch and out of my financials!

Not bad, and I do like the new(er) computer.  I have yet to view videos, or check sound quality.  My guess is that these will be much better.  I might even be able to view the vids in resolutions above 480... or thereabouts.  At 720, the old machine would bog... right... downnnnn.  I wonder what else this thing can do!  Yeah, yeah, I should have done this before.  But, really, I... was a bit nervous.  I knew this would be a monster project, for me.  I am not always up to it.  Didn't think I would get to it today.  Once I put my nose in it, if I did take many breaks, it just... happened.  I still want to think about a modern machine.  I have priced components to about $1,600 and change.  I would want to add a couple of components to that, in time.  But it would do as a baseline gaming rig with serious potential for upgrading.  For now, though... I have some other projects in mind.  Teeth for a friend and a wheat grinder. 

He's... back!

Later.

Done with blogging for a while.

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Installing the printer has caused a problem.  Or something just went wrong.  It's an old machine, but that isn't the problem.  It's as if the drivers failed.  The machine is operating in 4 colors at the lowest resolution, with no means of changing either.  I attempted to locate drivers, and pulled two variations down.  Neither worked.  This is too limited to work with.  I will tinker, from time to time, as I save for a new machine, or try to get one of the others back into some sort of function.  I am thinking this was either the printer adding or changing something, or the machine was simply hacked.  Positive about it.

It'll remain, I suppose, until the Titanic sinks.  If I get back to it, so be it.  If not, so long.

Oh, right, dreaming.

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Lately dreaming has seemed light.  Some things were happening, however, that I assumed were unrelated.  Waking with a sore throat among other things.  Well, I suppose my musical posts of late are coming from that.  I woke the last few nights, for a bit, and realized my sore throat was from trying to vocalize, scream, or shout, in my dreams.  The end of the attempt, or perhaps some sound, is actually what woke me.  Then yesterday, while showering, I realized my left hand was a bit sore.  Upon closer inspection I found fingernail tears in that hand.  My fingernails are short.  It must have been a serious grip.  Yes, dreams have been rather wicked lately.

This last night I had a dream that I do remember.  Not a bad dream, for my part.  I came to know a young woman, in town.  Initially, she had the sneer young women often have to old men.  Which, for me, matters little one way or the other.  After several interactions, she came to... have an interest.  Oh, it has happened before.  In time, we came to a point where we were alone, and could speak.  I knew the time was coming.  I did not look forward to the conversation.  I had merely been kindly, she mistook that.

She asked if I would ever contemplate a girl like her.  I considered my words careful, as I knew her interest had changed.  She, for her purposes, finally had seen potential.  She did not understand, yet, that she could not ask, it wasn't her place.  The young can be so impetuous, and women are being incorrectly schooled to believe that they are equal.  Still, I let it slide.  I made the decision almost upon first glance and the answer was no.  I decided to tell her, for the most part, why not.

I suggested that she was secular, and asked if I was correct.  She concurred.  I asked what her plans were.  To marry and settle down, she suggested.  I asked why.  She had thoughts, a few pseudo-religious notions, and because it was a want.  I have seen this before.  I explained that, because she had no fundamental understanding of some things, she was most likely going to fail in love.  I told her, I would rather marry a lousy housekeeper who had faith, as I could teach some of what is not known, and conspire to inspire her to learn and maintain... at least to a degree.  But to marry a woman without faith would be a step too far.  While I can train and encourage the mundane, I could not breath life into the dead.  There is a chance such a woman would come around, or that a woman of faith would fail in her faith, ultimately.  But the odds were clearly stacked against the secular.  And, for my purposes, marriage fell under faith.

She wasn't happy with the pronouncements or prognostications.  She wasn't even pleased that I, even in part, would consider a woman a housekeeper.  I did see in her hurt eyes, an understanding however.  I believe she knew what I was saying had real merit.  I am certain one side of her cared, the other side, the stronger side, just wanted to do what she wanted to do, knowing it leads to oblivion.  She knew, for me, without a doubt, she was not a good fit.  What she didn't understand was how I knew this at our first meeting, even to knowing and preparing for this conversation.  Some things I cannot tell.  Even if I know, that, again, is a step too far.

A strange dream, but I was satisfied with it.  While young women are imminently attractive, simply through their youth, that is not what would draw me to one.  Fertility, if anything, and the health to withstand childbearing, with that natural beauty only being a final flourish.  I know that will pass.  Though, too, I know, in the eyes of love, the natural changes of life, flaws, and many other things, if a right love, can not only be overlooked, but even found attractive because some of those things have become familiar, or because they were gained while together, perhaps even because of being together.  If you make her yours, she will be flawless if you wish it.  And I would.  Yes...  I was satisfied with the questions and answers.

Later.

Odd, lately.

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I just can't figure out how these things are working.  It's probably the timing chain?

The last few days I haven't been able to get to bed easily.  I went to sleep at about 22:30 each of the last three nights, the goal is 22:00.  Not much off, just irritating.  As a consequence, waking right at 6:00 was becoming a bit of a trick.  I did it every morning except yesterday morning, if just a bit later.  This morning I woke a bit after 3:00.  I didn't want to wake.  Something woke me then I could not return to sleep, or even rest.  I'm not feeling rested, nor terribly tired.  So far it is a normal morning for a strong non-morning type.  Mostly bleh, winds at blah miles per hour out of the nnw, with a strong meh hovering slighting to the south keeping approaching anything at bay.

I hadn't set up my printer by bedtime last night.  Realizing it was past bedtime by the time I got around to actually contemplating the task, I set it aside.  I have the thing set up, if I haven't checked the software suite yet, or whether it actually works.  I'll know shortly.  Hmm, decided to go ahead and check.  Yeah, it prints.  It has slightly more options, but doesn't seem to have much more real control.  Oh well.  I suppose, these days, or maybe always if I have forgotten(?), printers just don't have layout settings other than through word processors?  Bleh.  Mostly.  It does work.  No better or worse than the other one, perhaps just a bit faster though.

I was surprised to be able to get right to that today.  I wasn't sure, after yesterday.  I still haven't received a return response to my query to the manufacturer regarding the faucet.  If I am up to talking through the problem I will call today, if not it will probably be Monday or Tuesday before I do more with that.  I do need to call the V.A. about medicine though.  That isn't a complicated topic, so I can probably get that done today.  After that I simply don't know.  I have things piling up, if not too heavily yet.  Still, there are several piles and several chores that need work.  I just don't know.  Later.

Some sort of problem.

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I could only eat half of my meal.  Not a problem, usually, unless it is my favorite meal in the whole wide world.  And it was.  It tasted great.  I simply could not finish the meal.  Usually, actually every time I can remember, whether at home or out, I have always finished this particular meal.  Always.  Then again, usually when I go out, I meant to go out.  Today I actually, initially, refused the idea.  The notion grew on me until I changed my mind, or is it that my mind just changed?  Something.  I told my friend, when I can only eat half a ribeye, doctors should be consulted.  Seriously.  With pets, it's several off feedings before you worry.  For me, same, with any other meal.  This is not good.

On the way home, I stopped to review printers.  I explained what I wanted and they did have it.  Now, technically, this printer is labeled wi-fi.  The thing is, it has to be plugged in to operate as such, through a router.  A mechanical break, all good.  And, it was on sale for 2/3rd the regular price.  I will be setting it up shortly, to make sure the software supplied will work on XP.  If I am going to have a printer, I don't want to have to write a program to be able to control page width, size up or down, and such.  I sure hope this works.  If so, the other goes back in the next day or two.

I did bother to stop at the post office.  My medicine is not in.  I've only got ten days to two weeks left.  The dose of the main stuff is low enough that I might be able to go off it without too much trouble.  But I will sorely miss the water pill.  The rest of it shouldn't be too much trouble to go without.  The first week off the water pills, and I bloat like... worse than women when that all goes wrong for them.  Then it evens out, a bit, but then becomes highly variable.  As I suggested, before I knew what the problem was, I could gain or lose 50 pounds in a month.  Water...  When I get bloated, I become extremely sluggish.  Actually, I cut down to one pill, from a pill and a half.  I'm beginning to wonder if that was a mistake, or needs to be adjusted more frequently.  I am definitely sluggish.  But that is one of the pills I am definitely short on.  I may call tomorrow, to see what is going on with medications.

Good night.

Well...

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Nothing.  Just nothing.  A post, but I pulled it.  I'll post it again in a week or two.  It's been difficult to get going.  Actually, I still haven't gotten to much.  As I wrote in the delayed post, I did find contact information for the manufacturer of the faucet.  I wasn't up to a phone call, so I sent an email.  I haven't receive a response yet.  If nothing, I may call tomorrow, or the day after... when I can handle talking to a stranger.  I've been trying to get going, it just isn't happening.  I don't feel bad, I am not tired, I just can't concentrate.  Something like that.

My friend called and asked about going to dinner tonight.  Initially I said no.  This, that, and no reason.  At least I did answer the phone.  Even with friends and family, save my mom mostly, when I am like this I might well not answer.  As I was sitting, doing nothing, watching cooking channels...  I decided I would go in.  The place isn't open until after 17:00, maybe 18:00.  So I don't have to hurry.  I do need to call, and cancel dinner.  In once sense I don't like doing that.  But if getting out can kick-start the engine, it may be a good deal.  Hmm... I may have a food plan for the next few days, too...  Oh, well, yeah... I already had one, but forgot.  I'll... get the meat for that thawed.  Still... a bit extra might not be a bad plan.  An eight-pack of chicken to bring home, and that corned beef and cabbage as an alternative.  The two should last most of the week.

A shower, though, and soon.  Time sure flies when you can't concentrate but try to draft a few plans, doesn't it?  *zoom*  Meh... might as well just publish what I had written.  Or I will forget.  Later.

Some, little, perhaps more.

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For whatever reason, I am still down.  Getting back up, at times, is easy.  Not this time, though not typical either.  The sun isn't helping, a bite to eat didn't do much good, nothing I seem to do seems to matter.  I am not completely put out, though.  I did track down contact information regarding the guarantee.  I didn't feel like placing a phone call, but I did send an email.  Sending an email is just less energy demanding.  Plus, I can edit.  I will probably get a shower yet today, and probably fold, hang, or otherwise manage the clothes that were washed.  After the shower, I am hoping to get a load of dishes going.  Perhaps wash them a time or two yet tonight.

I am not extremely tired, I am simply unable to focus.  I can't seem to get going.  That I have some plans is good.  If I get to them it will be better.  But it will be a struggle.  Just can't focus!

Today... today?

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I simply don't know.  I think I remember the list.  A call to the faucet manufacturer, then packaging and returning what is required.  Oh, a shower sometime earlier this morning so that I am ready to just go later.  Hmm... and some other stuff.  I don't need to return a package, as I caught the UPS delivery and returned it right on the spot.  After a shower, setting up a load of dishes would be good.  Perhaps folding some or all of the laundry I washed the other day could be done.  The kitchen needs a bit of work too.  Today might just be used for minor things, a minor trip to town, and an attempt to get caught up so I can go a bit further.

I went to be rather early, and slept long, past the alarm time.  I know I dreamed... odd little thoughts carried out to their realistic conclusions, as if a program that cracks numbers.  A little life with a woman, but I don't know if it was past or future.  Just a little domestic reality of the more mundane but pleasant sort.  I tried to hold details from the dreams, but they didn't make it past the alarm.  Leaving only scant notions and pleasant feelings.  When it is all good, being with a woman, or figuring out life in general, are good things.  While I do enjoy the hard parts just as well, sometimes more so depending on mood, want, and need, the simple times are good as well in their own rights.

Ah, I forgot to turn the heat up yesterday.  That is fine, after I take a shower and dress.  But, as it went yesterday, no shower was taken.  I simply never reached escape velocity.  The lower temp in the home didn't help.  I am still a bit rough and tumble, not moving fast or thinking well, just alive and awake and unsure about much.  I'll do what I can to shake out of this.  I have goals.  I will push to get to some or all of them.  The truth, as always, is that sometimes I can, sometimes I can't.  Time will tell.  Later.

Back in class.

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Sort of.  The courses covering Lightroom 5 are going forward.  As I suggested, I went with the recommended course schedule for noobs.  I am getting a headache.  The beginners schedule is comprised, so far, of organization.  Have I mentioned that organization is... a weak spot of mine?  Yes, oh yes.  Now, I generally know where what I need or want is.  You would be amazed.  Unless I lose something, but that involves literally misplacing, or other people moving things and putting them where they don't really belong, and things like that.  However, I have no idea how I know where things are.  They... just are.  It's amazing, just not reproducible for others.  The reason I don't put effort into organization is multi-fold.  First, I don't, generally, seem to need to do so.  Second, there is some security in no one else having a clue.  And, finally, actually putting my mind to such things is usually remunerated by a splitting, nose-bleed inducing, headache.

While I have only been watching someone else describe how to organize, and arrange organization, that was enough.  YoucH!  I did not play along, as I am tired.  So, there is that.  However, I can be taught some things.  And, for this particular set of skills, I do intend to learn the methods.  I have watched, even through the growing and finally session ending headache, I do approve of the general methods.  I will, eventually, go back, watch these over with laptop in hand... or lap really... and practice what the teacher is preaching.  For photography I see that the need is important.  At least within my intent.  Although, next time, I might take a handful of anacin before I start... a good half hour beforehand to make sure they are working.

The teacher is a woman.  No, no real problem.  There are advantages to that, assuming I don't see a lot of curves or pick up certain cues.  This teacher has learned to be very neutral of voice, and does not appear on screen.  Oh, don't get fussy.  I've had this problem since... 2nd grade?  More so as hormonal levels escalated.  Once I learned balance, with regard to hormones, then female voices that are very feminine became... almost... well... garbled.  Squeaky.  This woman keeps a level tone, without the usual sing-song, up and down, and such, voice that women naturally have.  Even so, it is a bit difficult.  Women speak softly, even at neutral tones or such.  However, the advantage to women, at least now... is that they aren't considered a threat or danger or... well... there is worse.  In this case, it seems to be working out, mostly.  Other than the organizational headache side of things.  Hey, I'm doing what I can.

What now?  I don't know.  News, blog checks, this post, dinner shortly, then on to bed a bit early perhaps.  I hope to have the contact information found yet tonight for a call tomorrow.  I might also figure out what sort of boxes, both as a main and component containment, for shipping if that is needed tomorrow.  And, maybe, I might fold some clothes.  But... that's pretty much it for today.  Hopefully, when I wake tomorrow, I can get a shower knocked out early, so that all I need to do is package what is requested and go on to town to get that sent out.

Yeah...  An extra day of rest was quite good.  I didn't mind it, other than the reason.  Later.  Perhaps good night.

Resting.

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Before I made the mistake of finding out the hard way, I realized today is not a general business day.  Considering the nature of it, it is too bad more people do not ignore it, shaming perhaps even the government into ignoring it.  Still, for now, it is what it is.  Which is fine, as things go.  Today would have been a push.  I hope to do a few things yet today, and I may.  I have, however, been enjoying rest, while pushing through of mind and will.  An easier, but no less necessary, group of areas that need to be addressed after a fall.  It is kinder to not have to handle these while also pushing through in the physical spectrum.  A good day, if I would still wish to see it ignored as a holiday, unless returned to it's rightful meaning and purpose.

A bit of lunch.  It's late so I will eat little.  I am not sure I would have gotten to much today, anyway.  Given that it took so long for me to remember lunch.  Warmed but not hot chicken, if it works out.  Or something else.  I just don't know.  Not too much food anyway, I am not digesting it well, nor am I terribly hungry.  Hmm... well... I am hungry, but I think it will be satisfied more easily that my eyes might suggest?  Things are changing with regards to food.

I do have something easy to do.  A video course pertaining to the RAW and general photography handling program could be reviewed.  Thankfully, I can watch the thing on television or my main computer, keeping the laptop upon which the actual program is installed open and functioning in the meanwhile.  There are two ways to view the course.  The first is for those who already have some experience, perhaps, enough anyway to just jump in and go.  There is a recommended order of viewing for noobs (me).  I suppose there is another way, for those who know most material, just need a refresher on a particular topic or even general area.  I will, for now, follow the recommended course for noobs.  I need to find that listing, and transcribe it.  Oh... wait... I can print it!  Then, just put marks by what I have watched. 

I may go in to town tomorrow, to return this printer and seek another that is not wi-fi... or has a wi-fi that has to be activated but can be ignored.  A bit of grocery shopping too.  More chicken.  Grilled chicken is absolutely fantastic.  I prefer fried chicken, but the work is much greater and I am not exactly up to it.  Hmm... maybe some sort of roast, too, for the grill.  Actually, I have pork coming in, lamb is a bit pricey in the stores for now, so... beef...  The only beef roast I enjoy is chuck.  Settled!  :)  I may have a few other things to do, after calling the faucet manufacturer.  A return of parts or the whole.  Goody... I can't call until 10:00, so I won't have to try to push my way out too early.  And, after that, some printing and packaging of any potential return, so.... not until after noon, by my reckoning.  I can live with that.  Mornings have been tough lately.

Later.

A return to function.

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Shutting down the higher dose seems to have worked.  After morning rounds, I was able to get trash and recycling out.  With just one bag of each per bin, I decided to let slide the notion of taking those to the curb.  In freezing weather, it just doesn't matter.  Then a pot of coffee was set to go.  Breakfast just doesn't sound good, not quite yet.  Hunger is brewing, the taste buds just aren't awake yet, or the stomach in a more specific way.  Brunch, maybe, later.

I opened the curtains.  There is enough light to make that easily worthwhile.  It is partly cloudy, yet still rather bright... especially for a cave dwelling night owl.  I don't think the place I need to contact is open yet, not until 10:00 or so.  Another few cups of coffee, perhaps a piece of chicken if it is good, then a call.  If a return is required, I still have enough of a day remaining to get the faucet, or parts of it, packaged and sent yet today.  I may look at other printers, and take this one back.  Sure, it works.  But if I can't tinker with size, edit the print setup except extremely roughly, I don't really have a printer.  To find one that isn't wi-fi is the trick.  Wi-fi simply can't be trusted, especially not when a printer has it's own wi-fi seek system built in.  Wi-fi and bluetooth are terribly insecure.  Just another way into your system.  Junk.

Other than that, today is mostly a recovery day.  I won't put a large load of chores on the list until I am back to it.  I may do a few things, here or there.  Perhaps start and work through the dishes.  Maybe fold laundry.  Perhaps figure out something to eat... ah... thawing corned beef might be good.  Little things, parts of things, what I can do without straining a still weak, if better, body.  All good.  Later.

Still a bit rough. There is potential.

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I coasted through the weekend while detoxing from the higher dose of carvedilol.  That stuff is just rough.  I had gotten up to balancing the weight of that medicine, to eight times what I am on.  My function was limited, much more than it is.  But it was... reasonable... for my condition if not for my want, perhaps full need.  Something happened this summer, however.  My ability to resist the effects of the medicine crumbled.  For three or four months, at best, I sat.  I pushed through a few times, but lost any ability to regain my footing.  Finally, I had to cut it.  I initially thought to toss it all, and just... see what happened.  However, some... hope... for something impossible... made me think that perhaps another try at medicine, but on my terms, would go forward.

I wanted to test my ability to function at various levels.  At this point I am on beginner levels.  While I take twice the dose of an actual starter regimen at a time, I do it only once per day, at night.  The rest of my medicine is at full dose.  The rest of it is immaterial to my function.  Well, I stopped taking aspirin.  No real reason other than that, from what I have seen, and for my specific condition, it isn't necessary.  That is for people who have vascular or arterial blockages, where blood can cavitate, causing bubbles that might cause a blockage themselves.  Now, perhaps, because of the weak flow, there is some risk for me.  But that would more be true with an irregular heart beat.  My heartbeat... impresses the docs.  Not compared to other heart patients, but actually compared to regular people.  Further, the risks from daily aspirin, which is to thin the blood, is that it makes stopping a bleed more difficult.  Women have this problem, if due to estrogen.  Fine for them, due to their social and cultural place.  Not good for a man, definitely not for a warrior.  Hey... no matter what else, I am what I am.  They can't take that away from me, and I can't give it away.

The thing is, about the middle of last week, I attempted to increase the dosage.  The goal was to double it.  The problem is that I crashed hard.  It took a couple of days for the level to hit critical.  Saturday and Sunday were spent barely walking.  I crashed very hard.  I realized the problem Saturday so stopped taking the extra, morning, dose.  I will now clear and clean my system for a bit.  Do a few things I had hoped to do.  Then, look for a time when I can afford a little downtime, begin taking the extra morning dose but only every other day, and see if I can get that balanced.  If so, I will then try to get the morning dose put in every day.  I will give it a number of tries, if needed.  Perhaps varying the method... every third day.  I will take as much time as I need.  And, in the end, the effort may need to be abandoned.  I don't know quite yet.  I just know that a full frontal assault on the medicinal citadel did not work.  Brick wall, I'm telling you.

I am feeling better today.  My sleep schedule, for the most part, has been maintained.  I woke early enough to, probably get the trash out, and maybe the recycling, before the trucks arrive.  After that, or sometime this morning, I will contact the maker of the faucet I am having trouble with, and send it, or some parts of it, back.  Now that I know how to send things, life is easier.  Even with just an address, I am pretty sure I can figure out how to manufacture an UPS label.  Once I know enough parts of a task, I can figure out little... side, or one-off, parts.  It seems easy enough, but when breathing, sometimes, is the whole of one's world... doing more is terribly... risky.  Yes, life has improved.  Further, I have taken control and will do what I see as necessary to do what is necessary... and more.

Another cup of coffee.  I did shower last night, but if I end up heading to town for that return I'll want another shower.  Gosh, I love showering.  Almost daily this last week.  No real need, being a home body mostly.  But a pleasure.  I am only partly French!  Apparently not THAT part.  :p  The goal is to get the trash out by 9:00.  Though if I can push through shortly, I will.  Hmm... and I just might, after morning... affairs... are tended.  After trash, perhaps a bite to eat.  I'll see if the chicken is good.  It might have been thawed too long.  I ought to boil some eggs, for mornings like this.  A couple hard-boiled eggs would be perfect for days where fussing doesn't seem possible.

Don't sit around waiting for me!  Could be all day.  Go get to your own things.  Good morning and day.

Breakfast?

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Yes, but not at the moment.  I mean, I have been thinking about how to mix and match breakfast foods.  Now, I love eggs.  I do.  And bacon, come on, bacon rules.  Sausage is great.  But... there has to be more.  I was thinking, and coming up empty, on what else to do for that first meal.  So I went looking.  Actually, the first site I hit was a gold mine.  Sure, there are a lot of women foods in there.  But, you know, that's not all bad.  Actually, that is why women are expected to be the bread makers, not winners.  Or, something therein.  Fresh fruit is very difficult for me to keep on hand.  Then to put it into form so that it can be eaten, or added to a blend, or otherwise dealt with?  Yeah, not so much.  However, for overnight preps, with muslix or yogurt, or such, frozen might work well enough.  Pretty pricey, but it wouldn't be every day.

Further, I was thinking that on some days, a hot breakfast isn't preferred.  Especially in the summer months.  She had a bunch of ideas there, as well.  Yes, yes, now that I am eating breakfast, lunch, or brunch almost every day, the taste buds are beginning to demand variety.  I burned out on commercial cereals long ago.  The sugared ones are really bad, the good ones are usually nasty, and as carbs they aren't the best in any case.  Then again, some of them might work in the mixes... Grapenuts, of one sort or another, with yogurt...  Muslix, of the better sorts, with kefir...  lots of variations.  Add in fruit and I can see it.  Frozen, with no sugar added, would be best for me.  The fruits that are easy to eat, apples, pears, and grapes, while okay, still have a rather high sugar content.  Bleh.  Still...

I am really almost becoming human!  Eating nearly daily, often twice, in smaller amounts.  Getting back to creating goals and successfully fulfilling those.  Taking medicine regularly, but regulating that to my life rather than just taking whatever they give me until it destroys my ability to live.  Tinkering with a camera, tools, and trying to prep while keeping options open.  As I open a door, I go a ways in, then I have a whole new set of areas that need to be expanded from there.  It is a bit overwhelming, at times, learning how to live.  Even with my conditions still playing a role, reducing just how far I can go, definitely at a shot, but too... I don't know how far I can go.  I'm amazed to have made it this far.  Especially since I am pretty sure I may be able to go quite a bit farther.  Maybe.

For now, though, I am tired.  I think adding the extra dose was a bit too much all at once.  Perhaps I can't handle it at all.  I will be cutting to every other morning with the increase... after a few days off to sort things out.  It zapped me, hard.  Say... Wednesday... I may begin taking that extra morning dose, but just every other day.  If I end up getting used to that in a few weeks, I will try it daily for a few weeks.  If I can't handle that first step, so be it.  If I can, but can't handle the next step, again, so be it.  If I can learn to handle the hoped dose, in a month or three, so be it.  I have to take charge of my medicine, though, if I mean to get anywhere with anything else in my life.  Yeah, completely exhausted today.  I am hoping tomorrow will be better.

Later.

A thing to tinker with.

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I was contacted, recently, by an old friend.  The physics grad student who had been a next door neighbor.  A good conversation was started.  It sounds like idealism is being... hmm... handled.  What he thought, for me, passed for cynicism, is being gained.  I would like to say that my cynicism is more practical, and less a command than an understanding... softer but surer than it seems if much better of footing than idealism.  And, I probably tacked these harder for him than how I actually held them, so as to allow no slipping.  Skepticism, however, is just as it seems.  I doubt, strongly, anything that is stated, written, televised, or insinuated, especially if it is guaranteed.  But... that's just that.

Ah, just right.

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To bed by just minutes before 22:00 and awake minutes before the 6:00 alarm.  Just in time to shut the monster off before waking to loud obnoxious sight and sound.  The alarm has an easy-wake system, so it starts low and slow, then gets louder, then adds blinking lights.  I prefer it, if I am not sure it is the best at waking me.  Perhaps a really loud, mean, alarm would be better.  I don't like waking to either one though.  This morning was the perfect type of wake.  I don't know how the day will go.  I have no feel for how I feel, or more how well I am doing, just yet.  An half hour into being a wake, mostly fussing with getting the machine going, taking care of the morning call, and...  I don't know...  I check mail, the news, and view YouTube first thing.  Sometimes, rarely, there is a music treat or spot of news that is consumed, sometimes if rarely put in for sharing consideration.

Medicines have been being taken right on track.  I have missed one evening in the last two weeks.  Fairly though, and not really a forgotten medication.  When switching from a night schedule to a day schedule there comes a time when the door to taking medication just evaporates without a good way to take medicine, sometimes even for a day or two in there.  It just almost has to happen, like when a road merges, if there is a solid yellow line that has been painted all the way to the end of the lane, a technically illegal shift has to occur.  I am handling medicine well.  I just, finally, increased the dosage to as high as I will go, for the heart medicine.  I will, probably, begin increasing another medicine soon.  But it isn't a load medicine, it doesn't cause me problems.

Today?  I just don't know yet.  I ended up getting nothing done yesterday.  That may be true of today as well.  Still, the goals are what they were yesterday.  Perhaps a little more wiggle room to attempt to add a few chores and a job or two.  I simply don't know yet.  Oh, but first thing, a pot of coffee needs to be started.  Sam is all over me this morning.  Warmth and attention, the things she expects, and usually gets.  She crawls from wherever she was sleeping, finds one of my legs or lap, crawls up, and demands some attention... while she continues to, mostly, nap again.  She has a wonderful winter coat again.  It just amazes me that she can go from light to heavy coat while Sassy is stuck with a permanent winter thick type coat.  I guess some cats have more variability?

Hmm... coffee, then a bite to eat.  A couple of eggs and bacon, or maybe I will try a pancake and add a single egg and bacon?  I need to thaw sausage for some variety.  A shower before too long, unless I think a nap might be in order.  I just don't know quite yet.  Later.

Perfect nap.

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By my standards, and these days.  I used to take powernaps.  Never of the supposed ten minute type, but an half hour could see me through tight harsh spots.  Now it take about an hour and an half to two hours to get the natural bennies I am seeking.  A little less than two hours is prime.  I went down at a 14:15 or such, and started kicking out by 15:45 or something.  I had set the alarm, for 16:00, as an insurance policy.  Yea, life looks a bit better.  Still tired but I should make it to bedtime, and get a few minor things done.

I know I dreamed.  Women.  Just some of the crazy silly and more pleasant parts of the times I spent with one of my past lovers.  Sexy parts, perhaps, but no sex.  Sex just isn't what it's all about.  Sometime you need it, sometimes you want it, it might be one of the glues, but it's as much a communication as it is anything else.  No, this was just some pleasant time with a woman.  Intimate and personal and alive.  I can't remember her face from the dream so have less chance of remembering her name.  I think it was some summer, or spring.  Lots of sunshine, trips to a beach and some parks... city type parks.  A lot of talking and teasing and laughing.  It was a pleasant dream.  It wasn't all bad.  And, remember, when in the Navy, I moved every few months.  Not fair, but the way of it.  Along with harsh ones I had some very nice women.

Amazon has been quite good lately.  The returns have been easy and solid.  I thought they forgot to send an item, I contacted them, they resent it and... I just found it.  I can't believe that, I checked everything, several times.  It had gotten stuck in the packaging for another item, to be fair to me, and remained stuck even after I removed to other item from it's own odd packaging withing the whole package.  No, I won't keep it.  They are in the process of sending a replacement.  I will try to get a stop on that, and offer to pay the shipping.  Honesty, playing fair, and saving that willingness of theirs to right a wrong for when it really is wrong.  But, really, it comes down to honesty.  It just happens to be a good business practice.

A cup of coffee or two, in hopes of shaking out of the doldrums beyond what the nap offered.  It's a bit of a rough day.  The sun is still out, the shades are mostly open... as much as I can take.  I remind you, I am a cave dweller!  A few restful days should see me back to it shortly.  Oh, and I just increased my dosage of heart medicine.  Actually... hmm... I did that Thursday though.  Maybe it is just catching up with me, and on top of everything else?   Maybe.  Later.

So very tired.

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I have been avoiding a nap.  It is sort of at the now or never point.  Now is sounding pretty good.  Even with the sun up I am rather crushed today.  I am simple tired.  I did what I could this week.  I made it to the weekend before crashing.  I don't think the crash will mess anything up.  Assuming my nap doesn't get away from me that is.  My plans are possibly going to stay in thought form.  I don't think there is anything happening for today at least.  Tomorrow is too far away for me to know.  Hmm, I could look up the contact information for that faucet, and have that ready for a contact Monday... Tuesday that is.

I did have menudo, with freshly sliced yellow onion, for breakfast.  Onion really makes it.  That will go well with variations of egg breakfasts too.  Love that onion.  And I will, most likely, hit the grill this afternoon.  The only other thing I really want to try to get in is showshoe practice.  A session or three of that, and regardless of other plans, I would like to head out into the snow somewhere.  Nothing fancy, flatland if I can find it, and probably a very short walk.  Just... it will be a start.  A down payment on actually getting out for longer hikes and eventually winter camping.  Technically you don't need a tent.  Actually, you do, as a beginner, or relearning.  You can learn to survive out there, but first you have to acclimate to "out there".  You do that in bits and parts, then... if you have the strength, learn the techniques, and know what you can do and what you can't, then you hit it like a mountain man.  To do otherwise is folly.  Irresponsible folly.

Nap?  Yeah.  Good later!

Weekend!

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These last two days, at least, have been quite full.  From getting a printer operational (which seems an easy task, a task which I have had no luck with for the last three tries), to taking care of a few points of business, doing laundry, and... many other things.  Trips to town, shopping, dropping off packages and post, and...  much was done.  I have been pushing along quite well.  Oh, and I twisted my days and nights back into place.  Yeah, that too.  I woke a bit after 4:00 but was able to stay down until almost 6:00.

A couple of cups of beer last night.  Yeah, it was Friday after all.  A desert.  I had hoped to cook a steak and potatoes.  Once home, I knew I was done for the day.  I am a bit weary this morning as well.  My only goals today, and mildly anticipated, would be to finish up the laundry, get started on and maybe finish the dishes, and work with the snowshoes.  For food I am hoping to get the grill going, bake potatoes before they turn, and grill a steak for some sort of lunch, and chicken thighs for elsewhile.  Tomorrow I would like to hit the kitchen and the living room.  Monday I would like to hit the remainder of the living room and this, the computer, room.  I really want to, and think I can this time, steam vac the living room.  So many things have come up, but the place hasn't fallen completely out of specs so as to make that impossible.  For the most part, I plan on taking a few days down first, if I can do small things to prepare for the big job.  I might even have a glass of beer or two tonight, or a bottle or two with the steak.  First though, more coffee.

It almost looks as if the sun will be brighter today.  If it is worth the effort, I will open the shades.  After these things are done, if I do get to the living room and all that, I am not sure what next.  Probably cleaning and straightening the garage.  Then on to my bedroom, and then the spare bedroom.  As those are completed, I might begin working on the bathroom.  There are smaller jobs I want to do as well.  I would like to put in heavy duty shelving for the cable box and bluray player.  Much like what I would like to install in the bathroom instead of a vanity.  I see it is two birds with one stone... the practical needs and practice for the work in the bathroom.  Just 12x4's, treated, primed, and painted to a lacquer black, then somehow attached to brackets, perhaps also wooden(?) if possible, with enough room for cords between the wall and the shelves so as to connect things cleanly.  Oh, and I would like to do a little bit of drywall repair in the functioning bathroom.  Such small tasks can end up being monstrous sometimes... usually.  Oh... and to get in touch with the maker of that faucet, and figure out how to get it repaired or replaced...  I might be able to begin that early in this coming week.  A phone call, perhaps a return label so they can check the faucet, and go from there.

It's looking more and more possible.  Everything.  Even with some modicum of health and function, each job is one at a time, over time, through time.  No matter the will, these things take time.  Frustrating.  And yet, looking back, I see what I have done, the increased pace, and some other things that are beginning to make more sense.  It is all very possible.  For now, though, the necessity if for rest, so rest I shall have.

Good morning and day.

I was doubting.

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Doubt, as with fear or illness or other things, doesn't preclude action.  It is merely an assessment.  It was growing long in the afternoon.  I had done a few things, but... getting a shower and then to town, and then to a very long list of projects, chores, and duties seemed a bit much.  What wouldn't get done.  What would?  What, again, was I supposed to do?  Wow, yeah, maybe, probably not.  I might get some of it, and that is a start.  So I pushed on.

I caught a break with my first set of tasks.  I had planned to drop the box off at UPS, then head to an office works store to get my drivers license printed full size, then take the two items to be sent by post to the post office and sent.  As it turns out, the UPS office has print capability, offered post, and a postal drop box.  Bingo.  That just cut an hour, or more depending on lines, out of my schedule.  After that, I called my friend.  Lunch first, for me.  He was not hungry.  Taco Bell, for a change.  It wasn't great or filling.  I didn't want to be filled, I still had some running to do.  Actually, just groceries.  He still needed chocolate ice cream sticks, so that worked.  I purchased all I would need for a while, and few extras, he got his shopping finished, so I took him to his place.

As I was leaving town, I realized I had forgotten a couple of things.  Onions, first off.  But I had failed to find flouride free toothpaste, if that wasn't something I need immediately.  It was on my list.  So, against my natural drive to keep going when I am already moving in a certain direction, I went back to another store.  Oh, and I remembered the day.  So... I bought beer.  Yes, I... deserve a little grain juice, and I'm not into green organic goo.  So what if it is a little... rotten.  :p

Nice.  Very nice.  A bit of rest this weekend, with some house cleaning on the side.  Good night... probably.

Hold your horses.

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I am getting there.  The printer was a set up, a phone call to my mother, the return label generated and after some tinkering printed.  Then a load of laundry in, dried, and out, and another in the dryer.  Finally, a thank you card prepped and a letter written along with a check.  Now to get a shower, then set up a load of dishes.  Finally, on to town.  Oh, I did call my friend to let him know I would be arriving mid-afternoon.  Once I get to town, I need to get a blow-up copy of my drivers license, drop off one last box at UPS, add the copy to the letter and check and post that and the card.  Then I will call my friend.  Whatever he would like to do, then some grocery shopping.  Well, and I am hoping to find non-flouride tooth paste.  Paranoia runs deep.  But I like it.

My friend may want to do some window shopping.  And I think he wanted something from the store... oh right... ice cream sticks.  He has probably eaten.  Breakfast was quite early for me, so another bite to eat would be quite nice.  Down from a double, though large.  I like those fries!  Yeah, but it's a rare treat and honestly I don't care.  If I was busy, and close, enough, I wouldn't mind daily.  Just... cut portions, as I have been anyway.

I might get it all done yet today.  It's been slower than I had hoped.  It is overcast.  I prefer it overcast when I will be busy though, it just makes getting started a bit more difficult.  This will take a whole load of things off my to-do list!  Some of these things are running out of time, some are long overdue, some are just on time, and a few are pushing new envelopes.  I haven't returned something in... years... whether it worked or not.  Couldn't get it altogether in the required time.  Nice.

Oh, right.  On to a shower.  I best get going.  Later.

Well...

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Not as fast as I had thought.  Though maybe.  Instead of other things intended, I set up my printer.  Oh, but I had to figure out what was wrong with the external cd drive.  The internal one has a broken bit that makes it unusable.  That done, and this and that, the printer is functioning.  While it was loading drivers and such, I went to Amazon to get the return label for the watch arranged.  Just about as if planned and precisely and accurately, the printer was ready just in time.  *zip*  Printed.  So big, though.  I bought an inexpensive printer.  As such, there is no means of reducing the size of the print.  Or, so far.  Perhaps I have missed something, or need to restart the computer.  I'll check in a short bit.

Before that I called my mother.  She seems to be doing quite well.  It is quite cold there.  She, I think finally, appreciated her Christmas gift.  A really warm, truly solid quality coat, is worth it's weight in shivers and illness.  But that is difficult to foresee until you are in one and it is below zero.  Not a brag, just... pleasing.  Wisdom can take some time to see.  It is always good to hear a mother's voice.  To hear health and wellness, some comfort, and pleasure with life.  This summer, perhaps, we will visit my brother.  All of us are cranky and rusty, but just as sharp, petty, mean, and yet with good features too.  The sparring is, mostly, more mature, targeted, and either quite passive or quite direct these days.  A drive there with her will be quite the thing.  Then a few days to a week altogether and...  Should be interesting.  Hey, we all like to fight, be right, get hurt a bit, and then make it right.  We will get our wish.  For me it's nothing personal, in a way.  Just business.  My mother and brother, I always thought, were a bit more... delicate.  Yeah... should be fun.

Crazy what I am doing, how fast I got back to it... with a little sun.  Today is cloudy, but my solar batteries are charged well enough to carry me through a day or two.  Probably.  I still need to write a letter and a check, fill out a thank you card, start a load of laundry, take a shower, start a load of dishes, and put the box together for a return.  Truly, quite nice.  How much of that will, definitely, get done is anyone's guess.  Though... I suspect that most or all of it.  And maybe snowshoe practice this evening.  Maybe.  Oh, right, best get the girls some food.  I'll put a load of laundry in at the same time, and make a tidy little breakfast as well, for myself.  Eggs, bacon, and...  Hmm...  Not pancakes today, I just don't quite have the time.  But soon, on those.

If I can get timing back under some control, I might have to hit up Mass, and confession.  I have been so off for the last few years.  As I told my friend, an hour late IS on time.  Gah!  Yes, he knows.  Hmm... while in town, at least after knocking off some of my efforts, I will probably see if he is interested in a lunch, or late lunch.  Best call him around 10:00, or he will eat and so be too full for a lunch.  Just fast food, but it's not at home, no cooking, no cleaning, and inexpensive enough.

Later.

Good, very good.

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I was awake until a bit after 21:00.  Rounding to 22:00 I set the alarm for 6:00.  Wasn't sure I would make it all the way.  I was correct.  A spit before 4:00 I started waking.  I tried to return to sleep.  I could only rest, and just a bit, waking a bit before 4:00 anyway.  I dreamed of the women in the Otep song.  A gift, in a way.  The singer isn't what she portrays.  But she does play the part in the song.  Seeing some of the raw memories, but through a filter.  It's as if God has... forgiven these things so allowed my conscience some peace from what was.  A part of me still clings to the old, if not for want, for guilt.  And, so, I must yet see.  Less, do I see, to suffer than to remember, and compare to what may be at hand.  Not a burning, this dream, so much as a sadness, another step in letting go, and hope for something much better.  Compassionate, patient, kind.  Beside loving, attempting to serve, and fearing in a right way, God... I also actually like Him.  These days.

In spite of the later long day yesterday, and the effort I put out, I am doing quite well this morning.  I will still use a bit more time for waking, then consider my options.  The recent small spell has left me with a bit of straightening to do, a minor pile of dirty dishes, a couple loads of laundry, and what remains of my list from yesterday.  Oh, and a few more things.  I need to set up my printer, make sure it works.  If so, then I will set up a return ticket for one of the watches I ordered, print that, get the box ready, and return that when I am in town next.

The watch that died was found.  I had reset the analog portion several times, to no good ends.  Still, being the eternal pessimist, of sorts, I wanted to, once again, prove the thing a rip-off.  So... I reset the analog hands and... it works!  I checked it fifteen minutes after, then when I returned from town, and finally again this morning.  All good.  So... I can just return the watch that was impossible to read and not look for a third watch.  Yes, for me it seems, having several watches is the way to go.  It isn't so much accessorizing as it is making sure I have at least one working time piece.  I am brutal on watches, somehow.  And being able to change them out, from time to time, might add some life to them while ensuring when I kill the next one, even if I am not so up to finding and ordering another, I will have something with which to keep pace on life.  It's... good to be a pessimist!  :p

So much to do!  But first I really have to wake more fully.  In an hour, or two, I hope to set a load of laundry to wash.  Then a shower, after that load is ready to put in the dryer, then a load of dishes.  Hopefully I can get each of those cycled before deciding what next.  A trip to town, grocery shopping and the return if I can get the printer going easily enough.  If I get all of that going, when I return, I may try the snowshoes on, and practicing walking in them, learning how best to stand, move, and get to my feet, in them.  A few sessions of that, I suppose, before going out into the wilds.  Well, those are the goals.

I have much more to do.  If I can get just a bit ahead, here and there, I can expand much.  Currently, the down time put me in the 'uncomfortably behind' category.  Easily fixable if I can keep on my feet for a week or two.  Yes, I am enjoying this.  A new life, a fuller life, a... an n'th chance.  Later.

Dude!?!

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No, I was sure, today, that I would get out.  I had a few things on the list.  As I was going, though, like a snowball down a mountain, the size and power grew.

Let me see, what all and in what order...  Okay, first to Walmart.  Packing tape, clear.  But then I realized I didn't have scissors and hadn't cut out the various pieces of paper from the printed return label, so scissors.  While I was at it I purchased a new printer.  Dang it, I need one.  I kept the receipt and will get it set up in a day or two.  If it doesn't work, as the last three haven't, I am in good enough shape to remember to return it.  I guess I have a pair of scissors for the vehicle now.  Then fifteen minutes snipping and taping the packages and labels.  Then I went driving blind.  I couldn't remember where the UPS office and drop box were.  I remembered the office, or a general idea of where it was, just in time to turn.  A little hunt and peck and bingo.  Easy, just drop and go.  No papers to fill out, nothing to sign, nothing to pay.  Nice!

Then on to another task.  I haven't used the new glasses I purchased.  It is usually messy, changing glasses.  Headaches, blurry vision for a while, and... I just hate doing it.  And they have to be adjusted, usually.  So I grabbed the unused new pair and headed in, untried.  When I got in, I opened the box, tried them on, but they fit as if they had been made for my face.  I did ask about bifocals, as the eye doc had measured for that.  Hmm, on my own, progressives, the total tag would be $500-$600...  Okay, not up for that.  That is my quarter beef.  For now I would rather have my quarter beef.  Ugh.  After that, a trip to my bank.  I withdrew enough for the the cost of the hog, a bit of walking around money, and some change for a cash drawer.  I'm trying to remember to add a little cash to my home reserves each month.  Gotta track that closely.  If I get to a certain point, and silver has slid to my buy price, I will begin considering trading this for that, so long as I have enough this left for a comfort zone.

I then called my friend.  He wanted a router, so we went looking for one.  He rents, but the cost of a router is less than a year of rent, so he bought one.  Then to lunch.  Then I left him off at his place.  I forgot groceries...  still, not bad.  And, on the way home, I did remember to pay for the hog.  I told my friend I would be in either Saturday or Monday.  Depending on weather and my condition.  All in all, at 17:00, it's been a very good day.  I may need a day or three off.  Or perhaps this was just what I needed to get going again?  I never quite really know.

Yes, I can make reality.  I just can't always purely make it whole cloth.  The question is, has an ember ignited, and will it last.  A little breath can do much with even a humble spark.  I will see, I suppose.  Later.

A song that seems to agree.

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Don't... concern yourself.  This is mostly something, a song, that found me.  I wasn't looking, didn't actually want to click, but... here we are.  A song that describes what has been being passed back and forth in posts and comments, or may add... illumination.  Best not go looking.  You probably won't understand anyway.  At one time, it was this type that I sought.  A new voice called, a door either opened or was realized, and things changed, a new way was found.  I remember.  Sisters, of a sort, of a dark sort.  I knew some of these.  Sometimes I sought this type, sometimes I hid from them.  I remember well.

A good lad, plus sunshine.

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The sun is doing everything it can to shine.  Partial cloud cover is just shading a bit.  Much brighter today than yesterday, if not quite so bright as two days ago... I think?  A pleasure though, as I showered and tinkered.  I forgot that to reuse a box, the old labels must be removed.  My last showed me a trick with those.  Dampening a cloth in hot water, then setting it on top of the label.  I just... think that sounds like too much work.  Yes, I have seen her do it, and it works, at least for her.  I just spend an half hour tweezing, slicing, pulling, and cussing instead of about the same amount of time wetting a cloth and waiting for that to work.  I still prefer my way.  It's more manly!

It's just past 8:45.  I have time to write a letter, and actually write a thank you card.  I have finally decided what to get my brother, but it will have to wait until next month.  Emergency food, just a small stock of a variety for them to try.  No, it isn't haute cuisine.  But it is darn nice to have on hand for any sort of emergency.  It isn't cheap, either.  While not the tastiest stuff on the planet, for a short run hunger will add all the spices needed.  Easy enough to fix, just hot water.  I sent my mother some, though I think she learned why not to eat it regularly on her own.  Oh, I could have warned.  She wouldn't have listened.  She's family, I know these things.  Same with my brother, probably.  He'll learn too.  :)  Poop?  No poop.  Eat in moderation, that's all I have to say.  Still, it might even get him to think about other things.  Water storage, a backup heater, little things.  I do try to open doors.

It's always a bit rough and tumble this part of the year.  I have actually been doing pretty good, with all the givens.  The sun helps immensely.  Though I do crash, it is on a fairly short basis, and not horribly.  Not for weeks or months, just a week or two.  The crash isn't so deep that I don't have a day or night, that I forget to eat, that I don't keep up on domestics at least a bit.  Life is getting better.  Heading toward much better.  If we get powder down here, or before long maybe otherwise, I would like to try out the snowshoes.  Hmm...  Yeah, another week or two, and if nothing gives, I may find a place higher up to get out and play.  A pack, the camera maybe, and a bit of time.  On a sunny day.  I ought to experiment with them here at home first.  Yeah... that's a plan, a goal.  It might even happen.

I best get the letter written, checks made out, boxes set up... I need the right kind of clear tape though to finish the packages rightly.  Then to get dressed and be on my way.  It's looking pretty good.  Later.

A start.

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First I need to find boxes that would contain what is to be returned.  And, so I did.  A bit of packing was required with each, so that was attended.  Then I had to figure out which return label should go with which package.  That too was done.  There is another package to be returned, but that will have to wait until I can get to a printer and print out the return label.  Just little things, but these have taken some effort, just of mind, focus.  Next I hope to write a letter, with specific details, write a check, and have that ready to be sent.  Then a shower.  On the way to town I will pay for the hog that is now at the butcher shop being... reassembled into good eats.  :)

I won't be going to town for at least another three hours.  The letter shouldn't take long, and the shower should take about the same amount of time.  If I shower right away, I might be able to air dry my feet.  I hate putting freshly showered feet right into socks, then shoes.  It gets too damp.  Still, sometimes, you have to do what you have to do.  Not today, I hope.  That will care for most of what was on my list.  Ah, but a call.  Omaha Steaks forgot part of my purchase.  Rather than waiting, I think I will just have them refund my card.  Better off, anyway.  When I ordered, I misread their description.  The cost was not worth the product.  I hope they don't give me too much of a headache about it.  I can call while waiting to head out.

I am feeling okay.  Not as good as the last few days.  Which is fine.  I would rather feel a little down than be incapable of action.  Sometimes I think I actually work better when not feeling as well, up to a point.  A minor headache that, just because of what I need to track, I may take some painkillers to treat.  That brain twist is still there a bit.  And, of course, I am tired.  Not tired enough for a nap, as I had hoped.  Just couldn't go there.  Still, I think I should be able to push through today.  Probably.  As I said, if nothing else I will get the due on the pig to the seller.  I already feel a bit off not having that done already.  No choice, but still...  Big business I don't worry about so much.  Private small business I prefer to be ahead, not behind, with regards to debt.

Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to it.  I just wish I could get a couple months off.

Later.

Another crash.

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Oh, sure, I had full intent.  The thing is, at about the time I wrote the last blog, I began to crash.  Full sun might have helped me get beyond that.  There was no sun.  I kept trying, losing ground all the way.  I reconfigured the goal from doing all of that to just staying awake as long as I could.  I put on a show, to help.  It kept me awake for a few more hours, but barely.  I am not even sure what time I did go to bed.  I think it was after 14:00, maybe as late at 15:00.  I won't swear to any of that, just a suspicion from a few clues, themselves rusted by exhaustion.  I am not sure when I woke, either.  Only that I was hungry.  So... breakfast.  An unusual one, shrimp scampi and the last of the extra potatoes I grilled while heating the grill for the steak.  I had thought to use them in one of the quiches, but between this and that, they hadn't been used.  Frozen.  I thawed several things the other day, those among them.  Scampi is easy and delicious.

Today, though, I must get out.  I will begin doing some of what is required through the night.  I need to get the things to be returned packaged, a letter and check written, and another check written.  I will probably get a shower in, and maybe set some dishes to wash and laundry going.  It's a tall order.  I am still pretty tired.  Pushing the schedule around is not easy, and though I didn't make it as late today as yesterday, I still pushed nearly three quarters of the shift the last two days.  Those are very big jumps.  Still, that's the plan.  If nothing else, I will at least get a check out tomorrow.  Gotta do it.

Oh, right... coffee.  I need a couple of tugs of the black goo or I will end up back in bed.  I might try to nap at 5:00 or 6:00 either way.  Ugh... this is an ugly part of my life.  I'm working on it.  Later.

No sun.

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But no fog.  A usual winter day, with enough light to make it worth opening the curtains.  It's not much light.  A lot more than fog was allowing.  I'll take it.  The drive is in pretty good shape between what I did and what the sun added on that day.  Yeah, it could be better.  I won't do anything to it though.  I just don't have what it would take.  I will get some things done today.  Probably not everything on the list.  A couple of returns, perhaps one letter, a check written and delivered, a bit of grocery shopping, and... not sure what else.  Then I need to revise my list and get done what I can tomorrow.  No sun, pushing my day around, and doing what I will do will test my resolve.

A shower, shortly.  Then to get a the letter written and that, then to put the boxes together for returns, then off to where I need to go.  I've been meaning to get started for three hours now.  I suppose I ought to get to it.  Hmm... I'm starting to get hungry.  I'll hold off until I get most of this done, then call my friend.  He's probably getting a bit stir-crazy himself, after the fog.

Best get going.  Later.