Good, bad, hilarious.

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I am very glad I didn't bury Sassy yet.  I took her coffin out last night.  To again say goodbye, see her not hurting and at peace, as well to show Mittens (Marmalade).  Mittens sniffed, and put her paw on her... spent a bit of time with her, then took off.  She did very well.  She knew, but seeing is more sure.

Sleeping a lot.  The bad.  Covering for stress.  Dreaming of better things, times.  But resting very well.  Cooling enough to enjoy rest, sleep.  The sting is deep and painful.  It means I loved, still do.

One of the more difficult tasks.

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I had Sassy put down today.  It's been... an understood necessity for months, nearing a year.  I knew it had to be done.  I scheduled it to give us a final two weeks, after stalling a month on top of that.  She knew.  She was ready.  She all but begged for it.  Neither of us, no matter our delays and preps and all, were ready.

I went with her, stayed with her.  Watched over her as she slept.  Stayed with her in form and spirit as she died.  I cooed as I could, prayed, cried.

Dreaming, living, forever.

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Perhaps you remember when I suggested time, for me, moves slowly?  A day is more like a year, as I sense things.  Mother, and others, suggest, especially as they age, that time moves faster and faster.  I remember a few times in my life when that was true.  Months, a few years.  Mostly, though, for me, time has been an absolute crawl.  To the point, in an odd way, wherein I almost seem to remember what is going to happen better than what did happen?

I... think you would have to have... been, lived, there.

The weather!

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She blows!  From the low hundred, to the sixties, to the nineties, to the seventies, to the nineties, eighties, seventies.  Jumping in days.  Three days ago it was 95 (supposed to be, got to 97 actually).  The day after, it was down o 84.  Yesterday was 74, and today is supposed to be the same.  Temperature variability is taking my legs out from under me.  Was already tired, from heat exhaustion.  These large swings are absolutely destroying me. 

Well, not... painfully.  I just need more, deeper, darker, sleep.  No real choice.  Was having leg cramps for a bit.  But have acclimated, mostly, to the cooler weather.  As well, am down to one part time ac, if also with a fan yet going.  If the fan is on a half not full setting.

On the edge of being very ill.

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Have you ever had nausea on the periphery?  Some other senses of illness too.  As if poisoned, or coming down with something?  Or both.  Nothing full blown, a fully bloomed pathological condition(s), or not fully activated, but like a hazy day versus a clear one, something obviously distinct.  Causes or causes unknown?  Well, that has been the way of things for... quite some time. 

Not quite taking me to me knees, but not quite letting me get to my feet.  I thought, maybe, it was from taking too many painpills, in too short of a timespan.  But, no.  I have taken various sorts of those for the last four days.  And higher doses (not by daily allowance but by single doses).  However, I thought back.  I have been... on the edge of illness for... quite some time.  Painpills don't seem to have improved or deteriorated my condition.  Only made my tender feet a bit more manageable.

Such dreams!

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It seems even my compliments are barbed.

Ah, he noticed.

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I read two blogs daily.  Multiple checks on each.  One is hopium, for a traditional mindset, more traditional.  If it uses a lessor form of beauty, often snark, and sometimes rhetoric that is plainly known and ignored by the opposition and our dear leaders who aren't on our, or the right, side.  Thune isn't missing any points, he is simply compromised, for example.

The other blog is a smart boi.  A fine lad.  He... does the math.  Looks deeply.  Looks for what others missed and... attempts to fill in the blanks, leverage the datas, sort the problems.  And... comes to conclusions... which were obvious.  On the good side, when he realizes the assumptions, givens, and proofs he had been working with, or developing beyond or within, are wrong?  He... admits it.  Very... unscientific of him, to be honest.  But, he isn't a midwit as most scientists really are.

Worse.

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My feet are bad again.  Not the worst they have been, definitely not good.  I am back to wearing croc's while I sleep.  Not the most comfortable sleeping arrangement.  Simply better than the other options.  I may have to move on to wearing laced shoes, at least for as long as is possible through the night.  At some point, those can become too hot, restricting.  By then, though, they have done the job.  Or, if I still feel like support is yet required, I can put the croc's back on.

Misery.  When feet hurt like this, ache all the time, difficult to walk on, life gets rough.  If you ever wonder why a wild animal, or even domestic, or pet, goes crazy on people?  See if the critter was in pain.  Especially intractable, severe, debilitating pain.  Thankfully, I can reason my way through most of that, if I can be rather stubborn or grouchy, especially when asked to push through.  Ah, painkillers.  I took the bottle.  I may have the last dose or two.  That helps, if I rarely use it.  It stops helping quickly, if abused.

Unless she got up here and gobbled the last of them?  They seem to be missing.  *sigh*  She will be gone soon. 

Later.

So much for cooling.

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The last two days have hit 97.  I had to go to town yesterday.  It was brutal as it heated.  It was just hitting 97 when we returned.  I was on fire.  I got in what I remembered, then got up here, with both ac's running to beat the band, and the fan on full blast.  Stripped to as close to the bone as possible.  The laid out as flat, quiet, and bare as I could.

Even so, it took an hour to cool enough to begin sleeping.  Brutal, absolutely crushing for me.  I had acclimated to the heat.  While the high 90s to low 100s are a test, when it cooled off so deeply and quickly, my acclimatization vaporized.  That heat fried me.

Better?

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Worse?  Which way?  When?  Feet are back to suffering, but mildly.  Just tender, not agonizing.  Prayers slipped, on that front, for a bit.  If I suspect those prayers aren't required daily.  And, at some point, not specifically.  Once a series of prayers for protection have been invoked, over a small period of time, possibly just once, from then on, a small inclusion in regular prayer life should suffice.

I think my feet hurt because of natural causes currently.  The cooling, the extra sleep, and a few other things.  I might be able to manage them a bit more actively again.  And maintain extra prayers, both for protection and for healing/health.  But I do live in a roughed up body.  It has survived what kills most, surviving many often lethal experiences.  It... is going to hurt from time to time, here, there, sometimes everywhere.

Trying to sleep.

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Bromancing death.  Something.  Mom keeps bugging me.  I need sleep, rest.  She, as with pets, needs far too much attention.  A wife could be attended, in and out of bed.  Others not so much.  Though, sometimes, I would want alone quiet time, away from even a wife.  Two to three nights of the week, to sleep alone.  Nights?  Nights and/or days. 

She needs validation, conferring, discussion.  I am so far from that.  I would like to try to teach a wife such things.  Mothers can't be taught.  The older they get, often, the more regressive they get in that way.  Becoming more childlike in that needy way.  I can't hate, for it.  I just can't help.  Not my area, gig, such.

A good sleep.

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Cool out there, 66 currently, as far as you can trust weather services.  Up to a high of 82, or so.  Dark?  It is now, as it should be.  Not sure if it was overcast.  I don't remember waking, looking, or just seeing.  But the cool allows, almost requires, sleep.  Until I get used to it.  I always hope for gradual cooling (or heating).  When the environment jacks the temp, either way, quickly... or switches between extremes quickly, I fail.  I can't manage large swings well.

Who can?  But people do.  Like?  Mostly no.  But people still wake, dress, go to work, and else.  I simply sleep.  No choice.  It went from the mid 90s to low 100s to 60, now 80, in days.  Absolutely crashed my already weakened by mom stress system.

Had hoped.

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The plan was to push through the night, staying awake to at least get to the dairy.  Nothing else.  But that... just can't happen.  The dairy, I don't think, would have been legitimately open yet.  But I am crashing so hard just going upstairs is proving difficult.

I could try for later.  If I wake early enough.  Though, if the cows are still partly or fully dry, might not be anything left.  It sucks to be a cripple at times.  I... just want to go.  And... I can't.  Ugh.

I keep looking at new vehicles.

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Oh, not looking for a great deal.  They could cut the price by seventy percent and I wouldn't buy a new vehicle.  Truck, SUV, car (if... they still make cars?), there isn't anything available, that I am aware of, which is worth buying.  From infotainment to data collection to recalls (and recalls that aren't happening but should be) to failures of manufacturers to honor their contractual obligations to service warantees.

No, what I am looking for is a change in the process.  To be honest, it looks like manufacturers were given an offer they couldn't refuse.  Basically, they can still make, and sell, automobiles.  But they have to be of extremely low quality, irreparable, and exceedingly expensive.  Just disposable toys for the rich.

Only to 68 today.

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It didn't even reach 71 out there, only hitting 68.  Which is a twenty five to seven degree reduction from their prediction from the very day before.  As well, it rained for at least four hours.  How much I haven't heard, didn't see.  But if they suggest less than two inches, it's bogus reporting.  Mind you, in a normal year, 365 days, we only receive nine to thirteen inches... if most of it arrives in this time of the year.  Still, that's a lot of rain on a single day.

On another matter, mother didn't eat all of the rice and chicken.  I searched the fridge.  She must have left it out?  I hadn't checked pots or pans.  Not much better, though.  As now I won't eat, possibly bad, food.  *shrug*

Strange weather.

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Talking about the weather?  Well... it went from nearly one hundred, for a bit over a month, then took a breather or two into the mid eighties.  Went back up, and looked to be holding in the mid nineties for the foreseeable future.  Then, out of the blue, the high today is set to be 71?

I initially thought the forecast was a mistake, or even a joke.  Looking out, just out?  It looks like a storm moved in.  A massive one.  And it is raining.  Still, that is a massive change to... everything.  Rarely does the rainy season hit so hard or get so cool so fast.

Remnant II: Better

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Only on the easiest mode, still solo.  I have everything leveled, and have found enough items which, paired with skills and weapon mods, can focus enough survival capacity with dps to make the game, mostly, playable.  At least against bosses in which a grounded, limited by terrain, attack dog can reach.

So... there are limits.  However, I am working on rough drafting a 'toon, with the right classes, gear, weapons, and else, for flying bosses and enemies, and for over, through, or around terrain limits.  I wish the game had several arrangements that could be set up, in a template, then automatically switch all and everything, with a toggle.  Maybe it's in there?  I haven't found presets.  So, for now, I have to write out the lists and reset everything manually.

A bit of shopping.

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With it looking like mom is really heading out, I am beginning to restock.  Not... everything I used to carry.  But a few items I still want on hand, things she burned through, gifted away, sold?  Paper plates, paper towels, and a few such items.  She'll get a starer kit, but no more.  And, much, I am having her buy.  I'll just fill out her kit, a bit, to start.

I am teaching her to buy in bulk.  Much cheaper.  And I will keep a small larder for her here.  NOT to be confused with my goods!  You can buy a case of tp for $33.  With enough for six months to a year (for me).  While a small supply at the store, a sixth that amount, costs half that much... or close.  Paper plates, too.  Far cheaper in larger amounts.  Women have completely forgotten home economics.

I caught it!

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It never shows, in the forecast.  It doesn't remain in the record.  But it might appear in the reading feed.  It did last night.

Scheduled to cook a few degrees an hour, from the high to 60ish in the early dark.  It was doing that, until it didn't.  It spiked from 68 I think I saw it, to 77!  And stayed hot, really, for several hours.  It then started coming back down.

Heat exhaustion.

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Though, really, most of the summer has been good.  Hot.  Even extra hot this year.  But sufferable.  Until recently.  Technically, the temps are slightly cooler than much of the season to date.  Humidity, or dew point as you might prefer, is low.  Maybe not down to seven percent, but that is a fluke on it's own.  In the twenties to thirties, percentages.

I honestly don't think it is heat exhaustion though.  I think it is the type l, and... level or time, of the heat.  While it isn't climbing into the high nineties or low hundreds, it is staying warm day and night.  The night does cool.  It just doesn't have any affect on the house.  And it doesn't cool as much or until later.