I'm telling you...

.

.

So close to death.  Or it... sure feels it.  Poison?  Illness?  Air problems, getting it in, or it's bad?

Delusions?  Maybe.  If, mostly, just the sensation of death, the feeling of the nearness of it, mostly.  Though, these things do affect thought.  What I see, how I interpret what is seen?  Yes, there are... sensations, sensibilities, visions, dreams.  I do see what... may not be there... or what may be there, but not for most of you.

No, I can't win.  My Lord already has.  I can suffer until that is taken from me.  And I will, for my part.  "He" doesn't even understand suffering for, or with, the children.  He does know suffering, but thinks "he" doesn't deserve it.  I realize I deserve even more, but can only take what I can handle.  Only the One who deserved none of it seems able to handle it all, even taking mine, in time.

Can barely breath, hurts in may places... right into the cells... burns.  So be it.  Later, or good night, again, if I can get to sleep.  Doubtful.  Later, at least.