So very difficult.

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My body simply hurts.  Twisting, turning, drinking, eating, fasting.  I'm trying many things, nothing seems to work.  Medicine is ongoing.  Everything I can think to do is being done... within my powers.  Imagine being a candle, and having the oxygen slowly being eaten.  Eventually the flame will die.  I just don't know when, or how.  Not sure what is wrong.

As mentioned, the cells of my body seem to be burning, as if seeking oxygen.  If you have ever played sports, you know that feeling.  Only, I am not exercising.  I can barely stand much of the time.  Oddly, with fasting and mostly keto, my vision has improved.  As has thinking.  I did try a few candy bars, to see if... even if not good in the long run, if they might helps something else.  Nope.  No difference, in any way, that I can tell.

Generally, though, I have been eating keto.  My main problem is I can't eat enough.  If too, it feels like too much.  Even with the candy bars, I haven't eaten a thousand calories today.  Possibly not a thousand between yesterday and today.  I have an odd sense of being too full most of the time.  Well, and little interest in food, and less ability to do much in getting food ready to eat.

Oh, and so many songs flooding back, and posts.  Yea, I think some get it.  Or, at least they can follow the old and new lines of thought.  Not sure anyone believes in anything.  Who can ever tell.  Not only have I see stretches of the recent thought lines, but too, I have seen signatures of some of the people who have, or used to, visit.  Who knows the truth of any of it... but... I, for one, think so.

Something has brought many of them back.  For a moment, or longer, who knows.  Or... just created an echo in the nether.  A lot of them.  I... may post, if, when, I wake next.  Goodnight, and day.  My days are crazy.  Sleeping for hours or something, waking when I can, or need to, or have no choice.  Awake until it's bedtime next.  I think I am having two to three days a... day.  Rough.  While I used to have much worse, with weeks and months down at a time, I... didn't remember.  This is as that, almost, only... I do remember.