.
.
When does it even happen? Of course, being overcast, living in a mountain valley which is open north and south, in October? Lucky to notice daytime at all. Fine. I wonder if there is a local source which accounts for the mountains to express when dawn actually arrives? Sure, I could just look. But... that takes effort and awareness, things not always available. Why would I like the information? Well, so when possible, to go look. While dying, if albeit slowly, I am finally able to be slightly more aware. I would like to see the bits of the world around me as I drift off.
Oh, the cap is really making life more pleasant. While it didn't keep my legs as comfortably warm during the day as at night, it was an improvement compared to days without the cap. Rather than numb or worse iceblocks for legs, they are merely mildly frigid. I need more caps, however, if one is to be worn most of the time. I won't always wear them when going out, though at times perhaps. What, several for day and night, a few extra for wash schedule? I'll look at several types, see if there are better ones for day and night or in general. The one I am using is a thinner synthetic. Other than being a bit small, it serves. I just don't want itchy ones.
Blood sugar was 168 fasting. Better. I used less fast acting this morning. Less last dose last night, and the final blood sugar was 122. Maybe it is working toward working out. I will hold off the call, as the numbers are heading enough in the right directions, all around, to let the thing ride.
A fatted tea, plus cheese, a few mushroom slices, salami, and pepperoni... about a quarter cup of cream and an ounce and an half of the other fats, for breakfast. I believe steamed cabbage with a few of those mixed patties and mushrooms for lunch, perhaps supper too. Nothing fancy, but. Actually, something about mushrooms and cabbage really works. Add butter and meat, and it is rather special.
A shower, the ducks, a few calls... I don't know what I need to do. I just know I have to try to wake and move, call and dig out... do... some... things. I'll... be thinking then hopefully doing. I am not tired, I just can't seem to think clearly, or remember what I need, or want, to do. I may need a nap to clear my mind. Later.
Monday, October 21, 2019
Sunday, October 20, 2019
Maybe?
.
.
Blood sugar is at 93. Still low, so a keto snack then a final test in two hours. An ounce of salami, paper thin, is in the oven, with an ounce of cheddar cheese. As well, six small green olives were sliced into thirds, and the remnant of a piece of brie will be added... somewhere.
It sounds expensive. And, if you ate for volume not flavor, it would be. I am learning to eat as the French intended, small, highly flavorful, bits of foods, mixed by flavor, texture, type, with some style and appearance considered. What few seem to remember is that, even at what was thought of as the height of French cuisine, they were starving. Even the nobles. They almost learned to pretend to eat by eating little meals, one after the other. Flavor was about all they had.
Yes, I am trying to recapture that way of eating, combining it with keto. My whole menu today cost around $6. Now, I only ate portions of parts. Still... I have almost no money for food this month. Then again, maybe that is a good thing. I am definitely learning to feast on flavor. It's not bad. Later.
.
Blood sugar is at 93. Still low, so a keto snack then a final test in two hours. An ounce of salami, paper thin, is in the oven, with an ounce of cheddar cheese. As well, six small green olives were sliced into thirds, and the remnant of a piece of brie will be added... somewhere.
It sounds expensive. And, if you ate for volume not flavor, it would be. I am learning to eat as the French intended, small, highly flavorful, bits of foods, mixed by flavor, texture, type, with some style and appearance considered. What few seem to remember is that, even at what was thought of as the height of French cuisine, they were starving. Even the nobles. They almost learned to pretend to eat by eating little meals, one after the other. Flavor was about all they had.
Yes, I am trying to recapture that way of eating, combining it with keto. My whole menu today cost around $6. Now, I only ate portions of parts. Still... I have almost no money for food this month. Then again, maybe that is a good thing. I am definitely learning to feast on flavor. It's not bad. Later.
Troubled.
.
.
Have you ever worked too hard, to the point you feel oxygen deprived enough that perhaps you might pass out? Have you ever done that while sitting for hours? There you go. I thought, perhaps, being active, doing something, as a reverse psychology being applied to physiology, might help. NOPE! I came close to passing out.
I let the ducks out, just for an hour. While the water can be open in the pool, I want them to enjoy. However, I am keeping it short, as mentioned. I went out to let them back in. Usually they go right in... unless they just aren't interested. Around and around we went. The second, going on third time I thought to check. Ah. The inner, screen, door was shut. Perhaps when I pulled the food bin out? I have to close the door when filling their food tray. Usually I open it afterward. I do think someone goes through, from time to time. "Borrows" feed, just goofing, dunno?
Anyway... Still, once the gate is back open doesn't mean they will just go in. They have become accustomed to the chase. The trick, then, is to get them to stop near the outer door, think, and reconsider what to do. Only then will they then notice the inner gate is open and go in. That about clocked me. I was seeing stars so thick I wasn't sure I would make it to my chair. Actually, I don't remember from (I hope) just before closing the inner gate and sitting. I'll check that and the back door soon. I've also received a wonderful headache. Left, high center slightly above the middle of the center of the brow. Like a spike, but not terrible pain... throbbing, not constant. Well, and with a drawn gut, as if I ate cardboard.
I have been eating carefully. Watching keto and calories. A burger patty and lettuce bed, or cheese and salami with a fatted coffee. Keeping things to ounces, cream to a quarter cup, and only three meals. Oh, but blood sugar was up to 166. I had attempted to cut fast acting insulin. That just isn't working. But that wouldn't cause the near crash.
I actually crash like that fairly often. There just isn't a reason to whine about it. And I haven't actually ever passed out, that I can recall. They have to figure this out if they want me to work. And, no, it isn't psychiatric. That is the lazy stupid excuse for not diagnosing and treating what may simply be a failing body. They then just need to admit it is physical, debilitating, real, but unknown.
.
Have you ever worked too hard, to the point you feel oxygen deprived enough that perhaps you might pass out? Have you ever done that while sitting for hours? There you go. I thought, perhaps, being active, doing something, as a reverse psychology being applied to physiology, might help. NOPE! I came close to passing out.
I let the ducks out, just for an hour. While the water can be open in the pool, I want them to enjoy. However, I am keeping it short, as mentioned. I went out to let them back in. Usually they go right in... unless they just aren't interested. Around and around we went. The second, going on third time I thought to check. Ah. The inner, screen, door was shut. Perhaps when I pulled the food bin out? I have to close the door when filling their food tray. Usually I open it afterward. I do think someone goes through, from time to time. "Borrows" feed, just goofing, dunno?
Anyway... Still, once the gate is back open doesn't mean they will just go in. They have become accustomed to the chase. The trick, then, is to get them to stop near the outer door, think, and reconsider what to do. Only then will they then notice the inner gate is open and go in. That about clocked me. I was seeing stars so thick I wasn't sure I would make it to my chair. Actually, I don't remember from (I hope) just before closing the inner gate and sitting. I'll check that and the back door soon. I've also received a wonderful headache. Left, high center slightly above the middle of the center of the brow. Like a spike, but not terrible pain... throbbing, not constant. Well, and with a drawn gut, as if I ate cardboard.
I have been eating carefully. Watching keto and calories. A burger patty and lettuce bed, or cheese and salami with a fatted coffee. Keeping things to ounces, cream to a quarter cup, and only three meals. Oh, but blood sugar was up to 166. I had attempted to cut fast acting insulin. That just isn't working. But that wouldn't cause the near crash.
I actually crash like that fairly often. There just isn't a reason to whine about it. And I haven't actually ever passed out, that I can recall. They have to figure this out if they want me to work. And, no, it isn't psychiatric. That is the lazy stupid excuse for not diagnosing and treating what may simply be a failing body. They then just need to admit it is physical, debilitating, real, but unknown.
What a strange world.
.
.
My legs are usually cold. In the summer, this can be good, offering a sort of heatsink albeit with limits. But much of the rest of the year, when it is cooler, this is a major liability. Imagine, though too, having the better part of your body needing cool to be less tortured while the other half needs warmth. When my legs go cool, using them leaves the muscles burning or in knots. I take extras over recommended of certainly vitamins and minerals, which has cleared most knotting.
I have been trying things. Elevating them, from time to time through the day. As well, adding a pillow to lift the feet. Now that I am sleeping in a confined space, I well wrap them in blankets and lean them against the wall. It seems counterproductive, if it has more to do with the heart than... I can't be sure. Doctor recommendation.
I put on socks, two pair often, though I am finding that doesn't work as well as wrapping them well, and keeping skin from one on skin of the other. The thing is, I have been working on this problem for... decades. It is just that until the last few years I couldn't keep track of my experiments. Who knows, maybe I learned this before.
Anyway, since the haircut, my legs have been worse than ever. Now there are areas where they seem colder (can't tell by external touch). Those spots feel numb, and yet itch like crazy. My head was getting odd in a similar way... I thought the legs' problems were due to circulation issues. The head? Just from the cool of having short hair.
So, last night, I got out what I was taught to call a watch cap, in the Navy. I put that on. In short order, the scalp itch and discomfort was gone. As I eased into a more restful state, an amazing thing started to happen. My legs began to warm. For the first time since I have been ill, in cold weather, without cranking the furnace to the misery of the rest of me, my legs and feet were comfortable... no itches, no numb spots, not too hot either. Perfect.
You have no idea how... wonderful that was. It was difficult to wake this morning, I was so comfortable. I'll be working on that part. I was hoping, lightly, that the cap would help with the legs while seated. Nope. Perhaps when I put them up later. I can't keep them up for too long at a time, busts the knees up. Still, to have nights, and better sleep potentially back? I'll take what I can get.
Blood sugar was a bit high before my last meal, so I dosed. It remained a bit high yet by bedtime (both in the mid 150s). I took the slow acting before bed. Blood sugar is 186 fasting this morning. Later.
.
My legs are usually cold. In the summer, this can be good, offering a sort of heatsink albeit with limits. But much of the rest of the year, when it is cooler, this is a major liability. Imagine, though too, having the better part of your body needing cool to be less tortured while the other half needs warmth. When my legs go cool, using them leaves the muscles burning or in knots. I take extras over recommended of certainly vitamins and minerals, which has cleared most knotting.
I have been trying things. Elevating them, from time to time through the day. As well, adding a pillow to lift the feet. Now that I am sleeping in a confined space, I well wrap them in blankets and lean them against the wall. It seems counterproductive, if it has more to do with the heart than... I can't be sure. Doctor recommendation.
I put on socks, two pair often, though I am finding that doesn't work as well as wrapping them well, and keeping skin from one on skin of the other. The thing is, I have been working on this problem for... decades. It is just that until the last few years I couldn't keep track of my experiments. Who knows, maybe I learned this before.
Anyway, since the haircut, my legs have been worse than ever. Now there are areas where they seem colder (can't tell by external touch). Those spots feel numb, and yet itch like crazy. My head was getting odd in a similar way... I thought the legs' problems were due to circulation issues. The head? Just from the cool of having short hair.
So, last night, I got out what I was taught to call a watch cap, in the Navy. I put that on. In short order, the scalp itch and discomfort was gone. As I eased into a more restful state, an amazing thing started to happen. My legs began to warm. For the first time since I have been ill, in cold weather, without cranking the furnace to the misery of the rest of me, my legs and feet were comfortable... no itches, no numb spots, not too hot either. Perfect.
You have no idea how... wonderful that was. It was difficult to wake this morning, I was so comfortable. I'll be working on that part. I was hoping, lightly, that the cap would help with the legs while seated. Nope. Perhaps when I put them up later. I can't keep them up for too long at a time, busts the knees up. Still, to have nights, and better sleep potentially back? I'll take what I can get.
Blood sugar was a bit high before my last meal, so I dosed. It remained a bit high yet by bedtime (both in the mid 150s). I took the slow acting before bed. Blood sugar is 186 fasting this morning. Later.
Saturday, October 19, 2019
Warnings?
.
.
From a pal. To avoid, be cautious at least. If some pals are just jealous of feminine attention going to their friends.
.
From a pal. To avoid, be cautious at least. If some pals are just jealous of feminine attention going to their friends.
Flirtation or damnation?
.
.
From a woman, as I suspect, it might even be both... within the same breath.
.
From a woman, as I suspect, it might even be both... within the same breath.
Late to rise.
.
.
No choice. I was awake late working on diabetes. Working on diabetes? Well... I have been attempting to get my blood sugars under control. After eating poorly from running out of better food, then eating too much of the right food, on top of an unsuccessful try at a new medication, I finally got things in line for a second gamble on the new stuff.
I have been managing to eat better, and less. Blood sugar was brought back under control with just my original insulin. I kept it that way for a few days. I have been spreading my meals, and blood sugar draws, out... at least for now. Intermittent fasting wasn't working with the new stuff. So, I ate supper a bit too late, scheduling changes take practice.
So... I had to stay up way late to test blood sugar before risking taking a large dose of the long-acting insulin. I... don't trust it. It was better, but only compared to the first trial of it. I went to bed with a blood sugar of 134 two to three hours after supper. It was still 181 fasting this morning, with nine hours of sleep plus the time after the meal.
I... I set it up to hopefully have this weekend to try. I am still having to use 20 cc's of the fast acting, two to three times a day, to maintain the 90 to 140 roughly requested. And unless the fasting number drops significantly, the slow acting insulin is useless. The last time they tried the slow acting stuff, alone, my blood sugar went up to over 500... over the ability of my glucometer to measure. I have doubts. I gave it a chance, hoping that combined with fast acting it would lower morning fasting sugar numbers, which would lower the need for fast acting, which might lower the need for slow acting, etc.
There is still a chance. And I don't mind keto or intermittent and regular fasting (the latter both for health as well as faith purposes). However, if it doesn't allow for any larger dietary options, and lower fasting numbers plus cut the need for fast acting insulin, then it is useless to me. I have right keto food available, I am focusing on calories for these few days, and I have two more days to... explore the possibility.
No matter what, since I am having to add so much fast acting, I will be calling the pharm consultant Monday. I only waited this long because I wanted to be back in control of my diet, with numbers well regulated, then give it several days. Two more days. We will see. Can't say I don't try to give it a fair shake, even if it takes a while to sort out the process. I was so tired I couldn't think or act straight, until the last few days. Later.
.
No choice. I was awake late working on diabetes. Working on diabetes? Well... I have been attempting to get my blood sugars under control. After eating poorly from running out of better food, then eating too much of the right food, on top of an unsuccessful try at a new medication, I finally got things in line for a second gamble on the new stuff.
I have been managing to eat better, and less. Blood sugar was brought back under control with just my original insulin. I kept it that way for a few days. I have been spreading my meals, and blood sugar draws, out... at least for now. Intermittent fasting wasn't working with the new stuff. So, I ate supper a bit too late, scheduling changes take practice.
So... I had to stay up way late to test blood sugar before risking taking a large dose of the long-acting insulin. I... don't trust it. It was better, but only compared to the first trial of it. I went to bed with a blood sugar of 134 two to three hours after supper. It was still 181 fasting this morning, with nine hours of sleep plus the time after the meal.
I... I set it up to hopefully have this weekend to try. I am still having to use 20 cc's of the fast acting, two to three times a day, to maintain the 90 to 140 roughly requested. And unless the fasting number drops significantly, the slow acting insulin is useless. The last time they tried the slow acting stuff, alone, my blood sugar went up to over 500... over the ability of my glucometer to measure. I have doubts. I gave it a chance, hoping that combined with fast acting it would lower morning fasting sugar numbers, which would lower the need for fast acting, which might lower the need for slow acting, etc.
There is still a chance. And I don't mind keto or intermittent and regular fasting (the latter both for health as well as faith purposes). However, if it doesn't allow for any larger dietary options, and lower fasting numbers plus cut the need for fast acting insulin, then it is useless to me. I have right keto food available, I am focusing on calories for these few days, and I have two more days to... explore the possibility.
No matter what, since I am having to add so much fast acting, I will be calling the pharm consultant Monday. I only waited this long because I wanted to be back in control of my diet, with numbers well regulated, then give it several days. Two more days. We will see. Can't say I don't try to give it a fair shake, even if it takes a while to sort out the process. I was so tired I couldn't think or act straight, until the last few days. Later.
Friday, October 18, 2019
What to do.
.
.
I can't change whatever is wrong. I can't diagnose it. All I can do is explain the problems to those with the skills and knowledge to diagnose and perhaps treat whatever is wrong. I thought this had been done well enough already. Apparently not. So, back in to the hospital.
Or, at least, to various clinics. Endocrinology, back to the heart clinic, perhaps internal medicine, and whatever else. My lungs shouldn't burn from a trip several days ago. My internal organs shouldn't hurt. Muscles in my legs shouldn't feel burned, etc. Aspirin doesn't fix anything, it merely, a few times a week or every other week, cuts things just a bit, if it requires pretty close to 2k mgs to move the peg. Well, and why, no matter my effort, can I not control my sleep?
Add that up, and there is something terribly wrong. If Social Security is saying I can work, then the V.A. has to help solve these problems, problems I have done my best to get through. I have never been able to solve these things. Even taking ritalin didn't help all that much. A brutal ride, when it worked. Imagine what must be wrong to fall asleep on that stuff.
So, I am going to have to insist that the V.A. look until it finds what is wrong. I'll bet they already know, or have a good idea. It is that they, as vet hating medical bureaucrats are working with ssa to cut vets out. They have decided we already get enough, too much, as vets, as is. So, this won't be easy, with two government bureaucracies working together against me... but it's what I have.
I have my pain. That is all, along with exhaustion. If I think pain is the culprit... it just wears you down. Interesting though, that I often enough end up simply numb. I am so tired. I am sleeping as needed, it simply doesn't help. Something is wrong. They need to find it. Fix it, then, or list it as a right-off.
.
I can't change whatever is wrong. I can't diagnose it. All I can do is explain the problems to those with the skills and knowledge to diagnose and perhaps treat whatever is wrong. I thought this had been done well enough already. Apparently not. So, back in to the hospital.
Or, at least, to various clinics. Endocrinology, back to the heart clinic, perhaps internal medicine, and whatever else. My lungs shouldn't burn from a trip several days ago. My internal organs shouldn't hurt. Muscles in my legs shouldn't feel burned, etc. Aspirin doesn't fix anything, it merely, a few times a week or every other week, cuts things just a bit, if it requires pretty close to 2k mgs to move the peg. Well, and why, no matter my effort, can I not control my sleep?
Add that up, and there is something terribly wrong. If Social Security is saying I can work, then the V.A. has to help solve these problems, problems I have done my best to get through. I have never been able to solve these things. Even taking ritalin didn't help all that much. A brutal ride, when it worked. Imagine what must be wrong to fall asleep on that stuff.
So, I am going to have to insist that the V.A. look until it finds what is wrong. I'll bet they already know, or have a good idea. It is that they, as vet hating medical bureaucrats are working with ssa to cut vets out. They have decided we already get enough, too much, as vets, as is. So, this won't be easy, with two government bureaucracies working together against me... but it's what I have.
I have my pain. That is all, along with exhaustion. If I think pain is the culprit... it just wears you down. Interesting though, that I often enough end up simply numb. I am so tired. I am sleeping as needed, it simply doesn't help. Something is wrong. They need to find it. Fix it, then, or list it as a right-off.
Thursday, October 17, 2019
Grumpy?
.
.
Not really.
A trip to SLC can cripple me for days. If the temp increases a few degrees, even when sleep is desperately needed and greatly desired, I can't sleep. If the temps decrease a few degrees, or it gets cloudy, I may end up sleeping longer, days at a time. If anything changes, I might collapse into a heap. Sometimes that will happen for no reason at all.
I am dying, so very slowly. There is no recovery. They know it, I know it. Still, probably for political reasons, they keep denying social security. I have considered abandoning or selling the house, but rent would be similar, only privacy would be even worse than it is now. If I am working on regaining privacy.
No, I am stuck. Unless I chose to just sell, or try to sell, then disappear. Living out of a pack is a hard thing. Irresponsible, in my condition. Then again, living on my own isn't wise. The options aren't good though, as to living with others. People are dangerously hungry these days. Kill you for a dollar.
It's a tough day, week. I, once, tried to disbelieve. I failed. While I too live in a world of pain, I have chosen against pain treatment. Aspirin, max, if rarely even then. I know where he is at. Honestly, it is a lonely place. And people wish to leave you. I understand. I do. It is difficult to watch someone else die, especially a slow grinding painful useless death. It isn't a test, it is an opportunity.
.
Not really.
A trip to SLC can cripple me for days. If the temp increases a few degrees, even when sleep is desperately needed and greatly desired, I can't sleep. If the temps decrease a few degrees, or it gets cloudy, I may end up sleeping longer, days at a time. If anything changes, I might collapse into a heap. Sometimes that will happen for no reason at all.
I am dying, so very slowly. There is no recovery. They know it, I know it. Still, probably for political reasons, they keep denying social security. I have considered abandoning or selling the house, but rent would be similar, only privacy would be even worse than it is now. If I am working on regaining privacy.
No, I am stuck. Unless I chose to just sell, or try to sell, then disappear. Living out of a pack is a hard thing. Irresponsible, in my condition. Then again, living on my own isn't wise. The options aren't good though, as to living with others. People are dangerously hungry these days. Kill you for a dollar.
It's a tough day, week. I, once, tried to disbelieve. I failed. While I too live in a world of pain, I have chosen against pain treatment. Aspirin, max, if rarely even then. I know where he is at. Honestly, it is a lonely place. And people wish to leave you. I understand. I do. It is difficult to watch someone else die, especially a slow grinding painful useless death. It isn't a test, it is an opportunity.
The world is going very wrong.
.
.
Politics has always been dirty. It has always been about money. Actual open markets, where prices and costs are truly based on market pressures, needs, and wants, not central bankers and central planners setting prices based on politics and kickbacks as much as gambling with commodities, is gone.
Beyond, the forces which kept open markets in play have lost or sold out. Capitalists are gone, replaced by crony capitalists... socialists really, and outright communists. Why the switch. In part to avoid competition. If a communist or fascist government chooses a winner, that is that. It is a safe bet, if you think you are large enough to keep your name at the top of the list, then become too big to fail.
When politics is reduced to the left and the right, excluding Christianity, real free thinking, and individualism, and cultural and actual civil rights, politics is reduced to socialism and communism. And the further truth is that communism, at that point, unless there are external powers which could interfere, always wins in time. It is the best of the worst.
America used to be the outside force. Currently we have three political forces. There are dems and republicans, if pretty much in agreement on most things, only differing in who gets the crumbs and who gets the lion's shares. It used to be that dems were the socialists as redistributionists and reps the fascists as crony capitalists, once both parties turned against America and Americans. Now they are both deeper crony capitalists.
And then there is Trump. He is an anachronism. A dem from before the party became a globalist asset. I think there were a few like him in the 70s still. If most of us, me even as a kid, knew they were rubes. No one was so naive to believe dems of even the 70s weren't socialist anti-Americans. Trump?
He's not a... complete rube. I'd like to say he isn't a rube at all, but... I can't, not fully. He thinks he has allies, some control. The only reason he hasn't been shot or impeached is because his enemies are currently using him as a pawn, to be the target of mutual enemies. It's a dangerous game he plays. But he is a socialist too, just a pro-American one.
It isn't just politics. Big business has become either Chinese or global fascist. They want government(s) too allow them their excesses, help or allow them to destroy competition, and buy from or through them. And, they will get it. Until the governments become a government and takes them over. At this point, I don't think there is a way out. And, if you notice, they will destroy you. Yes, they will.
.
Politics has always been dirty. It has always been about money. Actual open markets, where prices and costs are truly based on market pressures, needs, and wants, not central bankers and central planners setting prices based on politics and kickbacks as much as gambling with commodities, is gone.
Beyond, the forces which kept open markets in play have lost or sold out. Capitalists are gone, replaced by crony capitalists... socialists really, and outright communists. Why the switch. In part to avoid competition. If a communist or fascist government chooses a winner, that is that. It is a safe bet, if you think you are large enough to keep your name at the top of the list, then become too big to fail.
When politics is reduced to the left and the right, excluding Christianity, real free thinking, and individualism, and cultural and actual civil rights, politics is reduced to socialism and communism. And the further truth is that communism, at that point, unless there are external powers which could interfere, always wins in time. It is the best of the worst.
America used to be the outside force. Currently we have three political forces. There are dems and republicans, if pretty much in agreement on most things, only differing in who gets the crumbs and who gets the lion's shares. It used to be that dems were the socialists as redistributionists and reps the fascists as crony capitalists, once both parties turned against America and Americans. Now they are both deeper crony capitalists.
And then there is Trump. He is an anachronism. A dem from before the party became a globalist asset. I think there were a few like him in the 70s still. If most of us, me even as a kid, knew they were rubes. No one was so naive to believe dems of even the 70s weren't socialist anti-Americans. Trump?
He's not a... complete rube. I'd like to say he isn't a rube at all, but... I can't, not fully. He thinks he has allies, some control. The only reason he hasn't been shot or impeached is because his enemies are currently using him as a pawn, to be the target of mutual enemies. It's a dangerous game he plays. But he is a socialist too, just a pro-American one.
It isn't just politics. Big business has become either Chinese or global fascist. They want government(s) too allow them their excesses, help or allow them to destroy competition, and buy from or through them. And, they will get it. Until the governments become a government and takes them over. At this point, I don't think there is a way out. And, if you notice, they will destroy you. Yes, they will.
Dentist, yesterday.
.
.
Whiter, but worse? By some measures yes. A few recommendations as to ho to improve. The easy one is to spend time brushing at a 45º angle near the roots. Oh, I was told that taking plaque (is it) off my teeth is strangely pleasant. A guy has to be good for something! Much whiter this time. Without any actually whitening specific processes.
I had a keto burger. Messy, but it worked. In-N-Out burgers, without buns, fries, or soda. I had my homebrew tea. The thermos works well. I dump and clean it at the end of the day, refill it for next time. I have two 40's and two 24 ouncers. An igloo with ice, some dry tea along, a way to make tea, and I could keep in right fluids indefinitely. When travelling I drink less, 40s last a whole day, 24s would do a half day hike. A light trek.
On the way home, I stopped for a trim. Short, but not a flattop. Easier to work with, I'll see how it goes. Feels good. Then shopping. Groceries. I went a bit out of keto trim. Grapes and potatoes. The rest was fine, from cheeses to salami, real meats, avocado, salad makings, and cabbage.
I grilled some inexpensive steak-like cuts, a potato, and beets. It's been so long since I have had a real meal, I didn't mind the splurge. I'll back off from now on, after finishing the grapes. I'll still have potato a couple times a week, but half, and not with other treats, such as grapes. Still, a very good meal. Plus, if a splurge is at hand, fruit or potatoes is far better. Though yams, real ones, would be better yet.
I called my brother, twice. Left a message. Called my mom, got through. A busy, tiring, full day. I am hoping to get to the post, pull and put up garden hoses, rake some, and maybe clean the bathroom? Goals. It has warmed, to the 60ºs, maybe 70ºs? I'll take it. Good morning, day, and... whatnot.
.
Whiter, but worse? By some measures yes. A few recommendations as to ho to improve. The easy one is to spend time brushing at a 45º angle near the roots. Oh, I was told that taking plaque (is it) off my teeth is strangely pleasant. A guy has to be good for something! Much whiter this time. Without any actually whitening specific processes.
I had a keto burger. Messy, but it worked. In-N-Out burgers, without buns, fries, or soda. I had my homebrew tea. The thermos works well. I dump and clean it at the end of the day, refill it for next time. I have two 40's and two 24 ouncers. An igloo with ice, some dry tea along, a way to make tea, and I could keep in right fluids indefinitely. When travelling I drink less, 40s last a whole day, 24s would do a half day hike. A light trek.
On the way home, I stopped for a trim. Short, but not a flattop. Easier to work with, I'll see how it goes. Feels good. Then shopping. Groceries. I went a bit out of keto trim. Grapes and potatoes. The rest was fine, from cheeses to salami, real meats, avocado, salad makings, and cabbage.
I grilled some inexpensive steak-like cuts, a potato, and beets. It's been so long since I have had a real meal, I didn't mind the splurge. I'll back off from now on, after finishing the grapes. I'll still have potato a couple times a week, but half, and not with other treats, such as grapes. Still, a very good meal. Plus, if a splurge is at hand, fruit or potatoes is far better. Though yams, real ones, would be better yet.
I called my brother, twice. Left a message. Called my mom, got through. A busy, tiring, full day. I am hoping to get to the post, pull and put up garden hoses, rake some, and maybe clean the bathroom? Goals. It has warmed, to the 60ºs, maybe 70ºs? I'll take it. Good morning, day, and... whatnot.
Tuesday, October 15, 2019
Wonders.
.
.
I used to think women... what... had sympathy, for well blooded warriors?
I have changed my mind. It, I think now, is a sort of empathy... from the feminine side of a very bloody hard world. I am almost sure. My... sacrifices, besides creating empathy also creates a hunger, a yearning, for the very thing which drives their empathy. I... see it. And in ways few men can... a blessed curse.
I see them, here, now. Showing what I believe I see. Music to my ears. Mercy.
.
I used to think women... what... had sympathy, for well blooded warriors?
I have changed my mind. It, I think now, is a sort of empathy... from the feminine side of a very bloody hard world. I am almost sure. My... sacrifices, besides creating empathy also creates a hunger, a yearning, for the very thing which drives their empathy. I... see it. And in ways few men can... a blessed curse.
I see them, here, now. Showing what I believe I see. Music to my ears. Mercy.
Up with the first alarm.
.
.
Down at 17:00, awake first time at midnight. I hadn't set the alarms as I was sure I would be awake earlier. But that was too early, if more because of business hours than need for sleep. Although that was a bit tight on sleep. Just a bit. I always have problems waking later after a really good wake though. So I set the alarms.
Three strange dreams, if only two are remembered.
----------
In the first, I was observing the life of a young woman in England during the reign of one of the earlier queens. I just couldn't figure out which one. It was as if that information was being kept from me. She was nobility, married to another, an officer in the military, off somewhere in one of the many British exploits.
She had just found out she was pregnant. But the world seemed to have just turned against her. From her doctor to family and personal friends she had stopped being in favor. When they couldn't escape her company, their cruelty was terrible, and just when she needed them most. Her family, while they still loved her, seemed resigned to her ill fate.
She realized something awful had happened. She simply had no idea what. Had her husband done something unforgivable? Had she made a greater noble angry? She had only ever and just been in the queens presence twice, from afar. She began to inquire.
It was the queen. For whatever reason the queen had taken a dislike, then uttered that she, the young woman, would be better off dead. And that was that. With a casual scant sentence, her death sentence had been given. It seems no reprieve for being with child would be granted. But why? Because she was queen and said so.
She realized, if she didn't die soon, her husband and birth kin would begin to pay. Her friends might already be suffering. So she began willing herself to death. Without suicide, but with a fierce will, her and her unborn baby were dead within months. It really seemed true. Anyone who ever thinks royalty and nobility is the way is a fool. The nobility did similar to peasants.
----------
In the next dream I seemed to stumble through life. Visiting family, travelling, doing some work including with a chainsaw. As well, parachuting... if I had to have the parachute thrown to me out of the plane. How do you forget a parachute? The main problem is that I was naked. I just couldn't find clothes.
The majority of the dream was seeking clothes. I wasn't ashamed, mostly just annoyed. Finally, visiting my mom, hoping she had some of my clothes, she had a stack of clean clothes, underwear, socks, jeans, a shirt or two, all of it, freshly cleaned, ready to go.
----------
There was a short dream between those. I was sure I would remember that one. Nope!
----------
Still not feeling well this morning. I can't say what is wrong. Sometimes it feels like the flu, sometimes it feels like I was a seal pup on fur gathering day, sometimes both. And I haven't even really waken enough to sort things out yet. Fresh tea is going. A handful of aspirin will be going down as well. Later.
.
Down at 17:00, awake first time at midnight. I hadn't set the alarms as I was sure I would be awake earlier. But that was too early, if more because of business hours than need for sleep. Although that was a bit tight on sleep. Just a bit. I always have problems waking later after a really good wake though. So I set the alarms.
Three strange dreams, if only two are remembered.
----------
In the first, I was observing the life of a young woman in England during the reign of one of the earlier queens. I just couldn't figure out which one. It was as if that information was being kept from me. She was nobility, married to another, an officer in the military, off somewhere in one of the many British exploits.
She had just found out she was pregnant. But the world seemed to have just turned against her. From her doctor to family and personal friends she had stopped being in favor. When they couldn't escape her company, their cruelty was terrible, and just when she needed them most. Her family, while they still loved her, seemed resigned to her ill fate.
She realized something awful had happened. She simply had no idea what. Had her husband done something unforgivable? Had she made a greater noble angry? She had only ever and just been in the queens presence twice, from afar. She began to inquire.
It was the queen. For whatever reason the queen had taken a dislike, then uttered that she, the young woman, would be better off dead. And that was that. With a casual scant sentence, her death sentence had been given. It seems no reprieve for being with child would be granted. But why? Because she was queen and said so.
She realized, if she didn't die soon, her husband and birth kin would begin to pay. Her friends might already be suffering. So she began willing herself to death. Without suicide, but with a fierce will, her and her unborn baby were dead within months. It really seemed true. Anyone who ever thinks royalty and nobility is the way is a fool. The nobility did similar to peasants.
----------
In the next dream I seemed to stumble through life. Visiting family, travelling, doing some work including with a chainsaw. As well, parachuting... if I had to have the parachute thrown to me out of the plane. How do you forget a parachute? The main problem is that I was naked. I just couldn't find clothes.
The majority of the dream was seeking clothes. I wasn't ashamed, mostly just annoyed. Finally, visiting my mom, hoping she had some of my clothes, she had a stack of clean clothes, underwear, socks, jeans, a shirt or two, all of it, freshly cleaned, ready to go.
----------
There was a short dream between those. I was sure I would remember that one. Nope!
----------
Still not feeling well this morning. I can't say what is wrong. Sometimes it feels like the flu, sometimes it feels like I was a seal pup on fur gathering day, sometimes both. And I haven't even really waken enough to sort things out yet. Fresh tea is going. A handful of aspirin will be going down as well. Later.
Monday, October 14, 2019
Keto bread.
.
.
No nap, or work, not even a shower. Yet? But lunch, with an add, bread.
Actually I ended up trying two recipes. The first one might have worked, but I forgot a main ingredient. I didn't realize my mistake, so went looking for a better recipe. To be honest, I am glad I bungled the first recipe. The next one just seemed better. I went without cheese or spices other than onion and garlic powders and a bit of salt.
.
No nap, or work, not even a shower. Yet? But lunch, with an add, bread.
Actually I ended up trying two recipes. The first one might have worked, but I forgot a main ingredient. I didn't realize my mistake, so went looking for a better recipe. To be honest, I am glad I bungled the first recipe. The next one just seemed better. I went without cheese or spices other than onion and garlic powders and a bit of salt.
Not feeling well.
.
.
Tired, flu type achiness, a mild headache, just not well. Blood sugar is good. I still need to take medicine. I have had a bite to eat, shortly after waking. I turned the heat up. And the cats have been tended. Ducks, then a shower. Really, not bad. I have done well. It just doesn't seem to matter.
I will try to keep working on things. I may need a nap. It is such a good day, otherwise. I just can't seem to get things to work out. Ducks, the minor dishes, then a nap. A shower and shave after, then garden hoses up. They should be clear. Oh, and then to make room for one vehicle in the garage... probably the car, as that is the only one I can drive for the moment.
Then? Dishes and the bathroom, if possible. Later.
.
Tired, flu type achiness, a mild headache, just not well. Blood sugar is good. I still need to take medicine. I have had a bite to eat, shortly after waking. I turned the heat up. And the cats have been tended. Ducks, then a shower. Really, not bad. I have done well. It just doesn't seem to matter.
I will try to keep working on things. I may need a nap. It is such a good day, otherwise. I just can't seem to get things to work out. Ducks, the minor dishes, then a nap. A shower and shave after, then garden hoses up. They should be clear. Oh, and then to make room for one vehicle in the garage... probably the car, as that is the only one I can drive for the moment.
Then? Dishes and the bathroom, if possible. Later.
A good sleep.
.
.
Still a bit achy. Whatever you might think, I pushed things early this week. The costs take time in payment and it comes out of my hide, or deeper. It was so easy to work though! I thought maybe, just maybe, I was getting better. There is still a chance that is true. Perhaps my body simply needs to get in shape. Which is a catch 22 itself though.
No worries. I am hoping to get a shower, maybe a shave, then start a new day... week. A few dishes starting out, fried eggs to start the day, a shower and shave, getting dressed right, then a time for waking as I contemplate the rest of the day. I could put the last group of dishes in too. The dishes I am doing are a few meal dishes and pan. The others need a long hot soak.
I heard the alarm at three. Turned it off cold. I went to bed at eighteen hundred, slept through. Then I realized it is garbage day. I don't have but a bag of trash, but it should be recycling day too, and that does need to go. Ever notice, if you attempt a good conscience, you can't sleep through chores? Some think that can't be true with me. They just don't understand the obliviousness that can come from living so close to death. It isn't that I ignore. It is that I am intellectually unaware or I am physically unable to act... the latter being the worst. Ignorance really is bliss... unless you eventually become aware. Being a cripple is a horror of conscience.
So, up at four, a small group of breakfast dishes set, a spot of fresh tea going, plans for a shower after the first fatted coffee, blogging and waking, with a shower and recycling next. Actually, I will get the trash to the bin... only one bag so it won't go to the curb... then take the recycling to the curb, as I prepare coffee. Then sit to wake before doing the rest. Eggs at dawn, feed the cats then as well, then another waking session until eight or nine. Then getting food and water for the ducks.
Perhaps I could get the bins set up as roosts for the ducks today. And maybe put the plow on? Will see. A few aspirin this morning. I don't hurt as much as I have, but more work on the way and it is good to manage pain at the start. I have to reset medicine too. Always something more to do! Later.
.
Still a bit achy. Whatever you might think, I pushed things early this week. The costs take time in payment and it comes out of my hide, or deeper. It was so easy to work though! I thought maybe, just maybe, I was getting better. There is still a chance that is true. Perhaps my body simply needs to get in shape. Which is a catch 22 itself though.
No worries. I am hoping to get a shower, maybe a shave, then start a new day... week. A few dishes starting out, fried eggs to start the day, a shower and shave, getting dressed right, then a time for waking as I contemplate the rest of the day. I could put the last group of dishes in too. The dishes I am doing are a few meal dishes and pan. The others need a long hot soak.
I heard the alarm at three. Turned it off cold. I went to bed at eighteen hundred, slept through. Then I realized it is garbage day. I don't have but a bag of trash, but it should be recycling day too, and that does need to go. Ever notice, if you attempt a good conscience, you can't sleep through chores? Some think that can't be true with me. They just don't understand the obliviousness that can come from living so close to death. It isn't that I ignore. It is that I am intellectually unaware or I am physically unable to act... the latter being the worst. Ignorance really is bliss... unless you eventually become aware. Being a cripple is a horror of conscience.
So, up at four, a small group of breakfast dishes set, a spot of fresh tea going, plans for a shower after the first fatted coffee, blogging and waking, with a shower and recycling next. Actually, I will get the trash to the bin... only one bag so it won't go to the curb... then take the recycling to the curb, as I prepare coffee. Then sit to wake before doing the rest. Eggs at dawn, feed the cats then as well, then another waking session until eight or nine. Then getting food and water for the ducks.
Perhaps I could get the bins set up as roosts for the ducks today. And maybe put the plow on? Will see. A few aspirin this morning. I don't hurt as much as I have, but more work on the way and it is good to manage pain at the start. I have to reset medicine too. Always something more to do! Later.
Sunday, October 13, 2019
Cool, not cold.
.
.
It is in the mid forties. It was 28º when feeding the ducks this morning, very possibly the low for the day, at least so far. I was surprised one of the hens continues to lay. A big golden brown egg a day. Checking water is the real trick, if it doesn't look like they drink much. Or bath. Still, I will keep it open to them.
I thawed a few packs of older ground lamb and beef, the last of it. I added a few eggs, some almond flower, and spices. Separating the bulk into patties, which were then grilled. Bland, plain, but food. I'll slowly eat that with... whatever else I can find. I added cream cheese to one patty, didn't help. Truly bland. I will try to find a way to use it to more flavorful dining.
I also purchased potted meats to try early this summer. While technically keto, they are difficult to eat. I have lightly sought recipes in which to use those. But, really, they are made for slathering on white bread until death from diabetes or cardiac arrest. Some of the keto flat breads and pitas I put out to dry, with the weather change hitting so fast and hard, became crackers. I may try adding mayo, possibly mustard, and using the keto crackers as a base. Highly acidic too, like most instant coffees... I went with lower acid dehydrated coffee, but it doesn't have much caffeine bang. At least it doesn't feel like I ate glass. I'll work on potted meats that way.
I am down to... whatever I have and not much of it. Not a lot of choice. Can't turn up my nose unless I really can't eat it. Although I do have to stay away from candy. Cream is very good, but there is something about liquids that just don't quite make a meal. I need to work on sauces and gravies. I have homemade beef broth, and keto flour alternatives, now to find recipes that work for me. That would cut how much meat would be needed. Ugh.
Later.
.
It is in the mid forties. It was 28º when feeding the ducks this morning, very possibly the low for the day, at least so far. I was surprised one of the hens continues to lay. A big golden brown egg a day. Checking water is the real trick, if it doesn't look like they drink much. Or bath. Still, I will keep it open to them.
I thawed a few packs of older ground lamb and beef, the last of it. I added a few eggs, some almond flower, and spices. Separating the bulk into patties, which were then grilled. Bland, plain, but food. I'll slowly eat that with... whatever else I can find. I added cream cheese to one patty, didn't help. Truly bland. I will try to find a way to use it to more flavorful dining.
I also purchased potted meats to try early this summer. While technically keto, they are difficult to eat. I have lightly sought recipes in which to use those. But, really, they are made for slathering on white bread until death from diabetes or cardiac arrest. Some of the keto flat breads and pitas I put out to dry, with the weather change hitting so fast and hard, became crackers. I may try adding mayo, possibly mustard, and using the keto crackers as a base. Highly acidic too, like most instant coffees... I went with lower acid dehydrated coffee, but it doesn't have much caffeine bang. At least it doesn't feel like I ate glass. I'll work on potted meats that way.
I am down to... whatever I have and not much of it. Not a lot of choice. Can't turn up my nose unless I really can't eat it. Although I do have to stay away from candy. Cream is very good, but there is something about liquids that just don't quite make a meal. I need to work on sauces and gravies. I have homemade beef broth, and keto flour alternatives, now to find recipes that work for me. That would cut how much meat would be needed. Ugh.
Later.
A good start.
.
.
Mostly. Blood sugar is way off. But I keep eating poorly. Then again, I am out of real food and mostly broke. I need to do some very careful shopping, then watch everything. Last month I purchased full size candy bars for Halloween. Yeah. But I am done. I have had three, could have been worse. Fatted drinks and eggs only go just so far. Meat, at least for me, is required.
The long acting insulin is pretty awful. I keep waking up too hot. That is with going to bed with diabetes in check. Which also means using more fast acting insulin, if in part due to diet. I don't want to call it off until I get back on keto, get back into ketosis, and remain there for a week or two. So, shopping, soon. Cabbage and a few veggies, plus meat and butter. Ugh. I'll have to be stingy and careful. May have to do longer fasts as well, if I can't take insulin while fasting.
I am not sure when I went to bed? I think 17:00, give or take. But I woke several times, getting up for a short while at least once. I was too hot, internally. I set the alarms for 3:00 and 5:00. I turned off the 3:00 alarm immediately, but woke at 4:00 and turned off the 5:00 alarm as I woke quickly right then. Just the way it goes.
It is right at 56º upstairs. I must admit to being quite comfortable at that. Humidity dropped, and that 10% to 20% drop is exacerbated by the forty to fifty degree sudden drop in temperature. I am surprised I am not suffering massive bleeds, nose bleeds. Daily, mostly, showers might be the cure? After a day off yesterday, I'll get another shower in today. Shorter, if they are going to be more regular. I would like to get to four showers and a bath, as has gone lately. I just need to exchange one shower for a bath.
Dreamed of having a call with one of two friends still living, last I knew, from the service. A man I offered advise regarding staying celibate with his woman until after marriage. It wasn't perfect, but it... was as close as they could get. My... knowledge was... instrumental. Further, I am certain, when things (tm) become... complicated... it is good to have alternatives, in marriage. I taught both of them, hands off of course, much more than school can probably imagine. There is science and there is art of sex. Mix, and that is my area. Life is messy, clean it up?
I won't try to reconnect. I will just remember, as well as I may. Praying they are still alive, still together, perhaps by now with grand or great grand kids. She was a doll and he was one of the good guys. People I would like to have found a way to emulate. I hope life hasn't become... complicated, or worse. Still, a good dream. I have known a few good folk. Best to keep some distance.
Good morning. Later.
.
Mostly. Blood sugar is way off. But I keep eating poorly. Then again, I am out of real food and mostly broke. I need to do some very careful shopping, then watch everything. Last month I purchased full size candy bars for Halloween. Yeah. But I am done. I have had three, could have been worse. Fatted drinks and eggs only go just so far. Meat, at least for me, is required.
The long acting insulin is pretty awful. I keep waking up too hot. That is with going to bed with diabetes in check. Which also means using more fast acting insulin, if in part due to diet. I don't want to call it off until I get back on keto, get back into ketosis, and remain there for a week or two. So, shopping, soon. Cabbage and a few veggies, plus meat and butter. Ugh. I'll have to be stingy and careful. May have to do longer fasts as well, if I can't take insulin while fasting.
I am not sure when I went to bed? I think 17:00, give or take. But I woke several times, getting up for a short while at least once. I was too hot, internally. I set the alarms for 3:00 and 5:00. I turned off the 3:00 alarm immediately, but woke at 4:00 and turned off the 5:00 alarm as I woke quickly right then. Just the way it goes.
It is right at 56º upstairs. I must admit to being quite comfortable at that. Humidity dropped, and that 10% to 20% drop is exacerbated by the forty to fifty degree sudden drop in temperature. I am surprised I am not suffering massive bleeds, nose bleeds. Daily, mostly, showers might be the cure? After a day off yesterday, I'll get another shower in today. Shorter, if they are going to be more regular. I would like to get to four showers and a bath, as has gone lately. I just need to exchange one shower for a bath.
Dreamed of having a call with one of two friends still living, last I knew, from the service. A man I offered advise regarding staying celibate with his woman until after marriage. It wasn't perfect, but it... was as close as they could get. My... knowledge was... instrumental. Further, I am certain, when things (tm) become... complicated... it is good to have alternatives, in marriage. I taught both of them, hands off of course, much more than school can probably imagine. There is science and there is art of sex. Mix, and that is my area. Life is messy, clean it up?
I won't try to reconnect. I will just remember, as well as I may. Praying they are still alive, still together, perhaps by now with grand or great grand kids. She was a doll and he was one of the good guys. People I would like to have found a way to emulate. I hope life hasn't become... complicated, or worse. Still, a good dream. I have known a few good folk. Best to keep some distance.
Good morning. Later.
Saturday, October 12, 2019
Pretty cool for October.
.
.
I've seen frost. I may have seen these temperatures, it was 21º at the coolest I saw it this morning... it was 24º before dawn. But I haven't seen such a hard long cold snap so early. I will be checking on water for the ducks twice a day, as possible. Even when it gets up to the mid forties during the day... if it does... it doesn't thaw anything. The ground, I suspect, is getting cold, holding it.
I have already been out, opened the water for them. May check three times a day sometimes. The cold doesn't bother them, but no water does. They do prefer chick feed. But I am running out of that. They will just have to eat pellets... like the rest of us. I'd love to give them their preference, but this month they are eating, I am not. They are already ahead.
It must be... I don't know... extra cold out there? A breeze or wind? The furnace is struggling. I can feel the strange extra chill. It's already winter here, now. I am still hoping for even a short warm spell but... well hope is what it is, no more. It is often the currency for the hopeless.
No shower today. I need a break. Tomorrow. So no dishes. Hmm, though there aren't very many dishes? So, maybe, if I can wake and warm up! Ugh. It would be good to have those clear. I really have improved a few areas. I would sure like to do more, and stay ahead. Turn my cave into a house, then on into a home. If... I could just wake, and stay awake for long enough.
Later.
.
I've seen frost. I may have seen these temperatures, it was 21º at the coolest I saw it this morning... it was 24º before dawn. But I haven't seen such a hard long cold snap so early. I will be checking on water for the ducks twice a day, as possible. Even when it gets up to the mid forties during the day... if it does... it doesn't thaw anything. The ground, I suspect, is getting cold, holding it.
I have already been out, opened the water for them. May check three times a day sometimes. The cold doesn't bother them, but no water does. They do prefer chick feed. But I am running out of that. They will just have to eat pellets... like the rest of us. I'd love to give them their preference, but this month they are eating, I am not. They are already ahead.
It must be... I don't know... extra cold out there? A breeze or wind? The furnace is struggling. I can feel the strange extra chill. It's already winter here, now. I am still hoping for even a short warm spell but... well hope is what it is, no more. It is often the currency for the hopeless.
No shower today. I need a break. Tomorrow. So no dishes. Hmm, though there aren't very many dishes? So, maybe, if I can wake and warm up! Ugh. It would be good to have those clear. I really have improved a few areas. I would sure like to do more, and stay ahead. Turn my cave into a house, then on into a home. If... I could just wake, and stay awake for long enough.
Later.
Saturday already.
.
.
With only a few days a month requiring acknowledgement and specific action, what the word "Saturday" actually means. Paired with Sunday, if to a lesser extent, it means some limits and some accesses. I am trying to normalize as is possible with the rest of civilization. Which means, to me, trying to work heavier during the week, and do certain things on the weekend... yard work is weekend work, for example.
I don't know that I can work today. I really overdid it recently. Then slept too hard, not rolling as I usually do, complicating it all. There isn't a muscle group left untouched. My ribs and lungs were abused well. Even my heart feels tired. The only thing not whining or outright screaming in pain, is my back. Sleeping on the floor isn't perfect, but it has it's advantages.
I worked with a few more hoses yesterday. All are, should be, drained. Sprinklers are up. Wait, there is another out there. Putting up the drained hoses and last sprinkler should be possible. The questionable part would be raking. I am not even sure if there is anything down to rake. I'll check. Another option would be changing the mower deck for the plow blade. The youngling has been doing that, but I... he will be going sooner or later. I best... If it weren't for my size, I... even then it is difficult. I would hate to be a small man, even just my age. With my health conditions though too? Twice as brutal, four times? Size... mitigates.
I went down a quarterish before seventeen hundred. A good push into the afternoon. I woke a bit after twenty three hundred, but was able to stay down to a quarterish to midnight. To hot. Usually I take pj bottoms off. Socks almost always have to go. A t and unders or equivalent. Even at 57º up there. I have very good blankets. Not many, but as good as they make.
I think this is my body getting used to the slow acting insulin. I am drinking plain tea, and won't eat, for a few more hours. I want fasting to be eight hours. I didn't eat after fifteen hundred, at the latest. My plan gives me eight plus an extra hour. Always go a little over, if possible?
Oh, and something else I am trying. My preferred sweetener, perhaps, dehydrates down to a concentrated form, which causes a strong insulin spike. I tried plastic wrap over the bottle, with accesses for the dropper. That proved both messy and ineffectual. So, I am keeping to a small dropper bottle and keeping it in a sealable ziploc type bag. So far it seems to help. As well, I completely wash the bottle and dropper before every refill. I am careful with how much is used, and don't use it during fasting... for now. If my new methodology works, I may be able to use it any time, as it was advertised.
On to waking. Good morning, day, and night, still, actually.
.
With only a few days a month requiring acknowledgement and specific action, what the word "Saturday" actually means. Paired with Sunday, if to a lesser extent, it means some limits and some accesses. I am trying to normalize as is possible with the rest of civilization. Which means, to me, trying to work heavier during the week, and do certain things on the weekend... yard work is weekend work, for example.
I don't know that I can work today. I really overdid it recently. Then slept too hard, not rolling as I usually do, complicating it all. There isn't a muscle group left untouched. My ribs and lungs were abused well. Even my heart feels tired. The only thing not whining or outright screaming in pain, is my back. Sleeping on the floor isn't perfect, but it has it's advantages.
I worked with a few more hoses yesterday. All are, should be, drained. Sprinklers are up. Wait, there is another out there. Putting up the drained hoses and last sprinkler should be possible. The questionable part would be raking. I am not even sure if there is anything down to rake. I'll check. Another option would be changing the mower deck for the plow blade. The youngling has been doing that, but I... he will be going sooner or later. I best... If it weren't for my size, I... even then it is difficult. I would hate to be a small man, even just my age. With my health conditions though too? Twice as brutal, four times? Size... mitigates.
I went down a quarterish before seventeen hundred. A good push into the afternoon. I woke a bit after twenty three hundred, but was able to stay down to a quarterish to midnight. To hot. Usually I take pj bottoms off. Socks almost always have to go. A t and unders or equivalent. Even at 57º up there. I have very good blankets. Not many, but as good as they make.
I think this is my body getting used to the slow acting insulin. I am drinking plain tea, and won't eat, for a few more hours. I want fasting to be eight hours. I didn't eat after fifteen hundred, at the latest. My plan gives me eight plus an extra hour. Always go a little over, if possible?
Oh, and something else I am trying. My preferred sweetener, perhaps, dehydrates down to a concentrated form, which causes a strong insulin spike. I tried plastic wrap over the bottle, with accesses for the dropper. That proved both messy and ineffectual. So, I am keeping to a small dropper bottle and keeping it in a sealable ziploc type bag. So far it seems to help. As well, I completely wash the bottle and dropper before every refill. I am careful with how much is used, and don't use it during fasting... for now. If my new methodology works, I may be able to use it any time, as it was advertised.
On to waking. Good morning, day, and night, still, actually.
Friday, October 11, 2019
Rest is good.
.
.
Cats and ducks tended. A bit to eat from time to time. Medicines of various forms, and blood checks. I should add bp checks. My initial bp test at the V.A. was 140/100, which I thought was pretty good. They put me on a machine which ran it five times over ten minutes. The lowest was 114/79, with an average of 128/85. Pulse was high though. Anyway, I should start doing bp at home again.
A shower this morning. If I am going to take one- I should do it right away. If I can get another shower tomorrow, I will get going on dishes. If nothing else, they will be started. Plus either the kitchen counters or the stove interior. Who knows, maybe both? But I will keep efforts small. I really pushed it recently.
I had planned a nap. Time sped by, the idea simply didn't get remembered. I sure could have used one. As is, I either have to attempt making it to mid midafternoon or just crash a bit early. I'd like to make it. Perhaps a tuna sandwich and a show? The lower doses of insulin and new stuff are... so-so. But, I didn't eat right at all yesterday. I will give it a few. Actually, all given, it probably isn't doing bad. At 8 cc's per meal, it is keeping it between 130 and 144 as a high, other than breakfast. Actually... not bad at all.
While the goal is several more hours up, I think this is a good night point. Have a great rest of the day. Good night.
.
Cats and ducks tended. A bit to eat from time to time. Medicines of various forms, and blood checks. I should add bp checks. My initial bp test at the V.A. was 140/100, which I thought was pretty good. They put me on a machine which ran it five times over ten minutes. The lowest was 114/79, with an average of 128/85. Pulse was high though. Anyway, I should start doing bp at home again.
A shower this morning. If I am going to take one- I should do it right away. If I can get another shower tomorrow, I will get going on dishes. If nothing else, they will be started. Plus either the kitchen counters or the stove interior. Who knows, maybe both? But I will keep efforts small. I really pushed it recently.
I had planned a nap. Time sped by, the idea simply didn't get remembered. I sure could have used one. As is, I either have to attempt making it to mid midafternoon or just crash a bit early. I'd like to make it. Perhaps a tuna sandwich and a show? The lower doses of insulin and new stuff are... so-so. But, I didn't eat right at all yesterday. I will give it a few. Actually, all given, it probably isn't doing bad. At 8 cc's per meal, it is keeping it between 130 and 144 as a high, other than breakfast. Actually... not bad at all.
While the goal is several more hours up, I think this is a good night point. Have a great rest of the day. Good night.
Better.
.
.
Sleep helped. I figured out one of the more frustrating pains. It has to do with the new sleeping arrangements, an angle I can find myself in. Usually I have been sleeping through it. But, being sore enough from it, I woke this time. The rest of the aches and pains are legit, from working too much, too long. Still happy with it.
A shower before long. The house is heating. I like two to four hours of heat, then back down to 66º until the next morning. That is with it being in the 20º's and 30ºs. When it begins hitting the 10ºs and below I will increase to 70º as a longer margin, in case the furnace goes out. The business of living.
No heavy work today. After a shower, perhaps a small load of dishes. Maybe some straightening around my chair. I might even consider constructing a light gate structure for the duck enclosure. The heaviest work might be pulling the ac's from upstairs.
Eventually, when I can afford dowels, I will add sheers up there. It further reduces light and heat, and allows curtains to be opened at some times without losing complete privacy. But... not for a while. I have no groceries and am down to $300 for the month, can only spend $250, have $150 more in bills, and three more trips to the V.A. They reimburse, but... at their leisure. It might be in a week, or three months from now. So... no dowels. On the good side, I am only behind on two small(er) bills. Next month I should be back in trim. Another slim month, but not this slim.
Hmm? Well... A few days of better rest, then back to work. Something is better. Deep down in. I will never be unbroken but I am less shattered. I think I can work as I just did for a few days every week or every other week. I could be able to catch up in the house, get the ducks better set for winter, and maybe clean up the yard for the year's end? Some of it depends on weather. At this point, getting hit with snow and it staying until May, even June, wouldn't surprise me.
.
Sleep helped. I figured out one of the more frustrating pains. It has to do with the new sleeping arrangements, an angle I can find myself in. Usually I have been sleeping through it. But, being sore enough from it, I woke this time. The rest of the aches and pains are legit, from working too much, too long. Still happy with it.
A shower before long. The house is heating. I like two to four hours of heat, then back down to 66º until the next morning. That is with it being in the 20º's and 30ºs. When it begins hitting the 10ºs and below I will increase to 70º as a longer margin, in case the furnace goes out. The business of living.
No heavy work today. After a shower, perhaps a small load of dishes. Maybe some straightening around my chair. I might even consider constructing a light gate structure for the duck enclosure. The heaviest work might be pulling the ac's from upstairs.
Eventually, when I can afford dowels, I will add sheers up there. It further reduces light and heat, and allows curtains to be opened at some times without losing complete privacy. But... not for a while. I have no groceries and am down to $300 for the month, can only spend $250, have $150 more in bills, and three more trips to the V.A. They reimburse, but... at their leisure. It might be in a week, or three months from now. So... no dowels. On the good side, I am only behind on two small(er) bills. Next month I should be back in trim. Another slim month, but not this slim.
Hmm? Well... A few days of better rest, then back to work. Something is better. Deep down in. I will never be unbroken but I am less shattered. I think I can work as I just did for a few days every week or every other week. I could be able to catch up in the house, get the ducks better set for winter, and maybe clean up the yard for the year's end? Some of it depends on weather. At this point, getting hit with snow and it staying until May, even June, wouldn't surprise me.
Thursday, October 10, 2019
Oh, ouch.
.
.
Make it a triple shot of the stuff. But why? Did I really overdo it by that much?
I had an appointment this morning. V.A. pharmacy. Diabetes. No great difficulty, being awake at 23:00, the appointment at 9:00. A shower, and finally got the shave in. Teeth got hit, as per usual. This time I used a brand name brush. Had been using generics purchased in pinched times. Brand name, in this case, is obviously worth the money.
I drove the Cruz. It was my first time on the interstate, and in such heavy traffic. I never killed it, in the stop and go interstate traffic. But I was so tired I did kill it a few times in the weird city traffic. Oh, and I learned, if I want to go the speed limit(tm) through the pass, on the uphill sections i have to gear from sixth to fourth.
Oh, the deal was to go on less fast acting insulin, adding slow acting, at a bit less than were I was at on just the fast acting. It was a good talk. He likes it when we come to him with knowledge, our own plan, and improvement. It has to kill them, trying to help someone who refuses to help themselves. I blew him away when I described diabetes as the strangest but deeper form of starvation.
Anyway... Right. I hurt as if I was used as a ping pong ball at national championships. I lost. Ribs, arms, lungs, heart. What doesn't hurt is weary, with a lot of crossover. On the good side it is 15:00, so bedtime. I had hoped to do grocery shopping, maybe get a haircut, get keys cut, but no. I did disconnect hoses, drain what was possible, and put two in the sun in hopes the will thaw and drain. None seem damaged.
I also thought about setting up dishes. But no, for several reasons. I hurt too much. The hoses busted my mackerels, dishes would be double. As well, as I rest these next days, I will need showers. And I won't be able to get to the dishes for days. I way overdid, and today just topped it off. So, I'm thinking Saturday to Monday before I can work again. Good afternoon and night... Oh, meds including the new insulin and brushing teeth, plus prayers, short as they may be as I crash.
.
Make it a triple shot of the stuff. But why? Did I really overdo it by that much?
I had an appointment this morning. V.A. pharmacy. Diabetes. No great difficulty, being awake at 23:00, the appointment at 9:00. A shower, and finally got the shave in. Teeth got hit, as per usual. This time I used a brand name brush. Had been using generics purchased in pinched times. Brand name, in this case, is obviously worth the money.
I drove the Cruz. It was my first time on the interstate, and in such heavy traffic. I never killed it, in the stop and go interstate traffic. But I was so tired I did kill it a few times in the weird city traffic. Oh, and I learned, if I want to go the speed limit(tm) through the pass, on the uphill sections i have to gear from sixth to fourth.
Oh, the deal was to go on less fast acting insulin, adding slow acting, at a bit less than were I was at on just the fast acting. It was a good talk. He likes it when we come to him with knowledge, our own plan, and improvement. It has to kill them, trying to help someone who refuses to help themselves. I blew him away when I described diabetes as the strangest but deeper form of starvation.
Anyway... Right. I hurt as if I was used as a ping pong ball at national championships. I lost. Ribs, arms, lungs, heart. What doesn't hurt is weary, with a lot of crossover. On the good side it is 15:00, so bedtime. I had hoped to do grocery shopping, maybe get a haircut, get keys cut, but no. I did disconnect hoses, drain what was possible, and put two in the sun in hopes the will thaw and drain. None seem damaged.
I also thought about setting up dishes. But no, for several reasons. I hurt too much. The hoses busted my mackerels, dishes would be double. As well, as I rest these next days, I will need showers. And I won't be able to get to the dishes for days. I way overdid, and today just topped it off. So, I'm thinking Saturday to Monday before I can work again. Good afternoon and night... Oh, meds including the new insulin and brushing teeth, plus prayers, short as they may be as I crash.
Something is off.
.
.
A bit feverish, aches and pains, cranky joints. Some from working a bit too much, some from... a mild case of the flu or that long term flu-like illness that is always just under the skin, waiting to crawl out and get me if ill otherwise already, or having pushed things. Yes, I pushed it too hard.
I will take it easy for a while. Keep warm, sleep as needed. Food? Ugh. Pretty broke this month. But I am almost out of the woods. I have some things coming in, regularly, if I am behind on that. That and water are my final debts. Next month will see me caught up. Then to to keep it that way, try to save a bit... in case tires or something else big hits. It's a dangerous world. Being flat broke is a recipe for becoming roadkill... or a monster.
After food and a dose, blood sugar was 116 not fasting. It dropped to 85 just because? Anyway. I need to eat shortly. Definitely hungry.
Oh, a shower and shave. Then? Not much. Later.
.
A bit feverish, aches and pains, cranky joints. Some from working a bit too much, some from... a mild case of the flu or that long term flu-like illness that is always just under the skin, waiting to crawl out and get me if ill otherwise already, or having pushed things. Yes, I pushed it too hard.
I will take it easy for a while. Keep warm, sleep as needed. Food? Ugh. Pretty broke this month. But I am almost out of the woods. I have some things coming in, regularly, if I am behind on that. That and water are my final debts. Next month will see me caught up. Then to to keep it that way, try to save a bit... in case tires or something else big hits. It's a dangerous world. Being flat broke is a recipe for becoming roadkill... or a monster.
After food and a dose, blood sugar was 116 not fasting. It dropped to 85 just because? Anyway. I need to eat shortly. Definitely hungry.
Oh, a shower and shave. Then? Not much. Later.
Sleeping is difficult.
.
.
I was awake until 14:30, roughly. I didn't have to push too hard to stay awake that late, but drifted the last half hour. There is always a risk of insomnia when I begin to drift. Drifting is that area between sleep and wakefulness. As is it all worked well. That part. Again, tonight, I struggled staying asleep. I really woke around 19:30, but was able to mostly stay down until 23:00. Better, but...
I turned the furnace up first thing. A shower and shave, which I failed to get yesterday. Still, it's the first miss in a while. I've been showering daily for a while now. I'll back that off to every other day now that I have enjoyed the luxury of ability, availability, and raw will for a while.
I am sore. Yesterday was more work than initially considered. Even my heart is a bit sore, lungs a bit spent... burning. It wasn't just the one day, it is the cumulative effect of day over day through days. Still, it was pleasing to get some work in, dig in, and be able to push for a bit. But I am done working for a while.
The next project is a gate on the duck fence and roosting boxes for the birds, as well as bucket traps for mice. Then to cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom, plus setting up the wire mesh cabinets and standing closet upstairs. With me upstairs, and getting organized, plus being able to work in longer spits, I really might get ahead. And, that drill, with various cleaning heads? It takes a lot of the elbow grease work out of the worst of it. I... think I can.
I need to get a hair cut soon. I also need to do grocery shopping. Oh, and get my vehicle inspected and registered. Ugh. Always more. Oh, and the mower off and the blade on the lawn tractor... if it warms a bit, or not. Plus garden hoses and sprinklers up and in. Bleh. Later.
.
I was awake until 14:30, roughly. I didn't have to push too hard to stay awake that late, but drifted the last half hour. There is always a risk of insomnia when I begin to drift. Drifting is that area between sleep and wakefulness. As is it all worked well. That part. Again, tonight, I struggled staying asleep. I really woke around 19:30, but was able to mostly stay down until 23:00. Better, but...
I turned the furnace up first thing. A shower and shave, which I failed to get yesterday. Still, it's the first miss in a while. I've been showering daily for a while now. I'll back that off to every other day now that I have enjoyed the luxury of ability, availability, and raw will for a while.
I am sore. Yesterday was more work than initially considered. Even my heart is a bit sore, lungs a bit spent... burning. It wasn't just the one day, it is the cumulative effect of day over day through days. Still, it was pleasing to get some work in, dig in, and be able to push for a bit. But I am done working for a while.
The next project is a gate on the duck fence and roosting boxes for the birds, as well as bucket traps for mice. Then to cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom, plus setting up the wire mesh cabinets and standing closet upstairs. With me upstairs, and getting organized, plus being able to work in longer spits, I really might get ahead. And, that drill, with various cleaning heads? It takes a lot of the elbow grease work out of the worst of it. I... think I can.
I need to get a hair cut soon. I also need to do grocery shopping. Oh, and get my vehicle inspected and registered. Ugh. Always more. Oh, and the mower off and the blade on the lawn tractor... if it warms a bit, or not. Plus garden hoses and sprinklers up and in. Bleh. Later.
Wednesday, October 9, 2019
Done, mostly.
.
.
The eggs are pickling. I have half a dozen extra for meals or snacks. I may boil anther dozen soon. Oh, I tried one of the duck eggs, boiled. Different. Very rich. I didn't care for it. However it was the fifth egg of the night. I was a bit tired of eggs. However, I am almost certain they would make nigh on divine deviled eggs. An... anomaly akin to me. All eggs are bottled and stored. The waiting is the difficulty.
I will pair the socks. But, since I have missed a predawn nap, I will be staying awake as late as possible. The hope is to be awake until at least technically afternoon, on into it if possible. I will be checking on the ducks, feeding the cats and doing their litter, and hopefully showering and shaving before bedtime.
As for any other work? I kept the stove clean as I went. But the dishes need doing. They are soaking, and in the sink since those are cleared. I best finish those. But, really, gaming and the internet are mostly all I can do. I just best take down time. I have pushed into potentially bad territory.
Blood sugar was up to 157 last read. I will have something more to eat and another dose shortly. As fast as it is going up, it is needed. But I will be watching for a crash. When it happens once, I am vulnerable to it for a while. This time a simple meal, before I hit bottom, will fix it easily. I have become a pro, when I listen to my body. I was so focused on else, and so sure it couldn't be exactly what it was.
Yeah. Still, I am doing miracles, dancing on my grave while juggling eggs and death. What a gas. Later.
.
The eggs are pickling. I have half a dozen extra for meals or snacks. I may boil anther dozen soon. Oh, I tried one of the duck eggs, boiled. Different. Very rich. I didn't care for it. However it was the fifth egg of the night. I was a bit tired of eggs. However, I am almost certain they would make nigh on divine deviled eggs. An... anomaly akin to me. All eggs are bottled and stored. The waiting is the difficulty.
I will pair the socks. But, since I have missed a predawn nap, I will be staying awake as late as possible. The hope is to be awake until at least technically afternoon, on into it if possible. I will be checking on the ducks, feeding the cats and doing their litter, and hopefully showering and shaving before bedtime.
As for any other work? I kept the stove clean as I went. But the dishes need doing. They are soaking, and in the sink since those are cleared. I best finish those. But, really, gaming and the internet are mostly all I can do. I just best take down time. I have pushed into potentially bad territory.
Blood sugar was up to 157 last read. I will have something more to eat and another dose shortly. As fast as it is going up, it is needed. But I will be watching for a crash. When it happens once, I am vulnerable to it for a while. This time a simple meal, before I hit bottom, will fix it easily. I have become a pro, when I listen to my body. I was so focused on else, and so sure it couldn't be exactly what it was.
Yeah. Still, I am doing miracles, dancing on my grave while juggling eggs and death. What a gas. Later.
Blood sugar crash.
.
.
I was so busy doing or planning I didn't see it coming. Well, and I had several eggs and two fatted beverages, along with only one dose of insulin. Pretty typical foods. It had been 189 fasting. When I really felt something wrong, and checked, it had cratered to 57. A big glass of milk, which was okay, and a bowl of mixed nuts. I will check in fifteen minutes.
Still not feeling the best. That is putting a crimp in the works. If it isn't high enough, I may take a carb tab and go to bed for a bit. Whatever. Later or much later.
-----------
Up to 113 but still feeling rough. I can't believe two ounces of mixed higher fat nuts and twelve ounces of milk did, in an hour and change.
I'll go ahead with egg pickling. The socks were dry, so I have them out for pairing. One batch of eggs to be peeled, one last batch, a mix of chicken and duck, to be cooked and peeled. The a shave, shower, and bedtime. With the way clear, a whole batch only takes twenty minutes, give or take. Especially with water being reused and with cool water already in a cool off tank.
.
I was so busy doing or planning I didn't see it coming. Well, and I had several eggs and two fatted beverages, along with only one dose of insulin. Pretty typical foods. It had been 189 fasting. When I really felt something wrong, and checked, it had cratered to 57. A big glass of milk, which was okay, and a bowl of mixed nuts. I will check in fifteen minutes.
Still not feeling the best. That is putting a crimp in the works. If it isn't high enough, I may take a carb tab and go to bed for a bit. Whatever. Later or much later.
-----------
Up to 113 but still feeling rough. I can't believe two ounces of mixed higher fat nuts and twelve ounces of milk did, in an hour and change.
I'll go ahead with egg pickling. The socks were dry, so I have them out for pairing. One batch of eggs to be peeled, one last batch, a mix of chicken and duck, to be cooked and peeled. The a shave, shower, and bedtime. With the way clear, a whole batch only takes twenty minutes, give or take. Especially with water being reused and with cool water already in a cool off tank.
In order to defeat the enemy?
.
.
Or cook? Visuals. You have to see... the enemy, the kitchen sink, the stove. To those ends work was required. The drill an nylon bristles did quite well. Still took serious effort, but not as much... if you can handle the weight more than the scrubbing, for me an easy trade. *zoom!*
The eggs were soaking while I cleaned. Then they were cleaned. Almost three dozen. They may or may not actually work. They passed the float test, but that isn't absolute. Taste, but look and smell while peeling will tell first. They get a ten minute run... I mean, I bring water to a boil. I lower a basket of eggs down into the boiling water, which knocks the boil off. Then I let it get back to a boil, set the timer for ten minutes, then pull the basket and put it into cool water for three minutes. Eight minutes is fine, for quick eating, within the week. I just wanted to try a tadge longer for pickling. Who knows though, I may go back to eight minutes.
Just about to peel. Two quarts and a half gallon jug are ready with the fixings. That should hold four dozen. Yes, more eggs will be cooked tonight. I am finally catching up. Yeah. It is an easy enough job, now that the sink and stove top are clear and clean. I just hope the eggs are good. If this first batch is good, the rest will be.
A shower and shave in a bit. No need for extra heat, working in the kitchen, and with boiling water, that handles any want that way. Well, I best get to it. After this, while setting the next batch, I'll check the socks. Bleh. I just realized, the pickled eggs won't be ready until, say, the 22nd... if I push it. But they were good at that point last time. I went through two dozen in two weeks or less. They last better in the fridge, if you use plastic wrap. Well, my fridge is dated and... I need plastic wrap.
Eggs. Peeling. Later.
------------
The eggs were perfect, both in doneness and goodness. I sampled several, plus used all other senses on the remaining eggs. All are put up, two dozen. Another batch is about ready to go. Since I use filtered water, reverse osmosis water, for cooking, I don't dump and get fresh... at least since the first batch was good. These should fit in a half gallon jug.
Then I have the freshest eggs and duck eggs. I want to do a dozen of each, pickled together as possible, to compare. Duck eggs do taste... a bit swampy? Sometimes. Other times, if I didn't know, I wouldn't know. Visually, though, duck eggs have a massive yoke, which is why the French adore them for baking. If you like yolks, duck eggs might be for you. I just wish I could still eat toast. Hmm, may have to get back to keto bread. Cup bread or other. As long as it can sop yolk, and doesn't taste like cardboard.
The next batch is about to go in. Wee! Later.
*If you can't have a little fun, figure it out or go away. Or I shall taunt you a second tima.*
.
Or cook? Visuals. You have to see... the enemy, the kitchen sink, the stove. To those ends work was required. The drill an nylon bristles did quite well. Still took serious effort, but not as much... if you can handle the weight more than the scrubbing, for me an easy trade. *zoom!*
The eggs were soaking while I cleaned. Then they were cleaned. Almost three dozen. They may or may not actually work. They passed the float test, but that isn't absolute. Taste, but look and smell while peeling will tell first. They get a ten minute run... I mean, I bring water to a boil. I lower a basket of eggs down into the boiling water, which knocks the boil off. Then I let it get back to a boil, set the timer for ten minutes, then pull the basket and put it into cool water for three minutes. Eight minutes is fine, for quick eating, within the week. I just wanted to try a tadge longer for pickling. Who knows though, I may go back to eight minutes.
Just about to peel. Two quarts and a half gallon jug are ready with the fixings. That should hold four dozen. Yes, more eggs will be cooked tonight. I am finally catching up. Yeah. It is an easy enough job, now that the sink and stove top are clear and clean. I just hope the eggs are good. If this first batch is good, the rest will be.
A shower and shave in a bit. No need for extra heat, working in the kitchen, and with boiling water, that handles any want that way. Well, I best get to it. After this, while setting the next batch, I'll check the socks. Bleh. I just realized, the pickled eggs won't be ready until, say, the 22nd... if I push it. But they were good at that point last time. I went through two dozen in two weeks or less. They last better in the fridge, if you use plastic wrap. Well, my fridge is dated and... I need plastic wrap.
Eggs. Peeling. Later.
------------
The eggs were perfect, both in doneness and goodness. I sampled several, plus used all other senses on the remaining eggs. All are put up, two dozen. Another batch is about ready to go. Since I use filtered water, reverse osmosis water, for cooking, I don't dump and get fresh... at least since the first batch was good. These should fit in a half gallon jug.
Then I have the freshest eggs and duck eggs. I want to do a dozen of each, pickled together as possible, to compare. Duck eggs do taste... a bit swampy? Sometimes. Other times, if I didn't know, I wouldn't know. Visually, though, duck eggs have a massive yoke, which is why the French adore them for baking. If you like yolks, duck eggs might be for you. I just wish I could still eat toast. Hmm, may have to get back to keto bread. Cup bread or other. As long as it can sop yolk, and doesn't taste like cardboard.
The next batch is about to go in. Wee! Later.
*If you can't have a little fun, figure it out or go away. Or I shall taunt you a second tima.*
Tuesday, October 8, 2019
Too early.
.
.
Too little sleep that is. Early isn't relative, however due to idiom versus literal, meaning can be lost. I mean, I went to bed past thirteen hundred and am waking at twenty one hundred, if struggling to stay asleep since nineteen hundred. I just couldn't stay down. Reclining while wakeful, for me, is pure agony.
There is some back pain. But rather than the horrendous thrumming sort it is more a stretched constant mild ache. It is much preferred. It didn't break into my sleep. I think I woke merely out of habit. Just because I stay up later, or even work, it doesn't mean my waking hour will change. It may take a while to switch that. Anyway, I don't need aspirin, or not yet.
Blood sugar is back up to 189. Fresh tea is brewing for a fatted tea. And I am hoping to begin boiling eggs shortly. That and an insulin dose before long will settle things. BP is going up. Last night, just at bedtime, it was 170/105 with a pulse of 69. My pulse keeps dropping. And, yes, I have stopped the extra 3.125 mg tab of carvedilol. That still means I am taking actually 31.25 mg, half day and night. If I missed two days in some confusion over the weekend.
Today? Other than pickling eggs and making a few for regular food, perhaps folding socks if they are dry, it is mostly a day of rest. I am hoping to nap or sleep in a bit, well before but until dawn. I see an opportunity to reset the day cycle. The cool is my friend. Sleeping in the closet helps... it more closely simulates night. It is actually rather comfortable. Later.
.
Too little sleep that is. Early isn't relative, however due to idiom versus literal, meaning can be lost. I mean, I went to bed past thirteen hundred and am waking at twenty one hundred, if struggling to stay asleep since nineteen hundred. I just couldn't stay down. Reclining while wakeful, for me, is pure agony.
There is some back pain. But rather than the horrendous thrumming sort it is more a stretched constant mild ache. It is much preferred. It didn't break into my sleep. I think I woke merely out of habit. Just because I stay up later, or even work, it doesn't mean my waking hour will change. It may take a while to switch that. Anyway, I don't need aspirin, or not yet.
Blood sugar is back up to 189. Fresh tea is brewing for a fatted tea. And I am hoping to begin boiling eggs shortly. That and an insulin dose before long will settle things. BP is going up. Last night, just at bedtime, it was 170/105 with a pulse of 69. My pulse keeps dropping. And, yes, I have stopped the extra 3.125 mg tab of carvedilol. That still means I am taking actually 31.25 mg, half day and night. If I missed two days in some confusion over the weekend.
Today? Other than pickling eggs and making a few for regular food, perhaps folding socks if they are dry, it is mostly a day of rest. I am hoping to nap or sleep in a bit, well before but until dawn. I see an opportunity to reset the day cycle. The cool is my friend. Sleeping in the closet helps... it more closely simulates night. It is actually rather comfortable. Later.
Not a bad run.
.
.
I did finish dishes, those which had been set beforehand. As well, laundry. As mentioned, wool socks just go through a no heat air cycle, which wont dry them. They need to be hung, and they are. I fried an egg and had a third fatted drink, coffee I think, with insulin. Blood sugar dropped to 87 then 83 just now.
The ducks were watered and fed. The poor things sure want out. Soon. A gate is my next work. The girls have been fed and their litter cleared. The laundry was folded and will be going up with me as I head to bed. Medicine was taken, in obverse... night meds as I go to bed, if in the morning.
A few other things, here and there, plus I stretched my day nearly to noon. Oh, with the gate, I would like to turn a few containers into enclosed hutches for the birds. I am not sure if they would prefer to share, or each have one. I will create enough for each option and learn. I need to start raking and bagging leaves for them as well. Along with the bit of hay, it should work. A last thing is to create bucket traps for the mice. There are only a few left, I mean to change that.
I am tired and a bit sore. Even my heart seems worn. But I did get the project completed. A lot of work, a new method of doing things, a clean body, fresh clothes, and a start back on the house. It will definitely be several days, even to Monday, before I can work again. Plenty left to do. Good night and day.
.
I did finish dishes, those which had been set beforehand. As well, laundry. As mentioned, wool socks just go through a no heat air cycle, which wont dry them. They need to be hung, and they are. I fried an egg and had a third fatted drink, coffee I think, with insulin. Blood sugar dropped to 87 then 83 just now.
The ducks were watered and fed. The poor things sure want out. Soon. A gate is my next work. The girls have been fed and their litter cleared. The laundry was folded and will be going up with me as I head to bed. Medicine was taken, in obverse... night meds as I go to bed, if in the morning.
A few other things, here and there, plus I stretched my day nearly to noon. Oh, with the gate, I would like to turn a few containers into enclosed hutches for the birds. I am not sure if they would prefer to share, or each have one. I will create enough for each option and learn. I need to start raking and bagging leaves for them as well. Along with the bit of hay, it should work. A last thing is to create bucket traps for the mice. There are only a few left, I mean to change that.
I am tired and a bit sore. Even my heart seems worn. But I did get the project completed. A lot of work, a new method of doing things, a clean body, fresh clothes, and a start back on the house. It will definitely be several days, even to Monday, before I can work again. Plenty left to do. Good night and day.
Yeah, pretty much.
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.
Almost all of the dishes. I overlooked a few pot lids and flexible cutting boards. They are soak rinsing because I couldn't do more. All else has been dried. Much of it has been put away. I will be going through cooking utensils, getting rid of most of it. Now that I know how to cook with plain stainless, I looked for and found a few types of spatulas and such that I like. Some of the experimental options just didn't make the cut. And the utensils for coated pans is no longer needed or mostly wanted.
As well, I have washed all laundry. I am just about to fold the loads that are finished. Wool socks are fluffing. That won't dry them but it will help them dry faster as I hang them out. I was so close, had to be awake to finish dishes, and the last load was socks... as easy as it gets. Plus, the feeling of being finished, if just for a day... moment. Well, not even that but shut up.
I also got the bins pulled back from the curb. I will clean the litter, feed the cats, wait to feed and water the ducks, fold laundry, then crash. It will be a few days until I can do more, so I won't set up more dishes. All good, that leaves the shower open for use. A shower early after waking will help recoup. I will be sore and tired for a while.
Blood sugar dropped to 80. After a light keto lunch, it jumped to 172 or so. Not 180, but close enough, so another dose, along with a few pieces of cheese and a fatted tea. At an half cup of cream, I can have four of those a day. Anyway, I'll keep at it. Best get meds down too. Later, or good night... day.
.
Almost all of the dishes. I overlooked a few pot lids and flexible cutting boards. They are soak rinsing because I couldn't do more. All else has been dried. Much of it has been put away. I will be going through cooking utensils, getting rid of most of it. Now that I know how to cook with plain stainless, I looked for and found a few types of spatulas and such that I like. Some of the experimental options just didn't make the cut. And the utensils for coated pans is no longer needed or mostly wanted.
As well, I have washed all laundry. I am just about to fold the loads that are finished. Wool socks are fluffing. That won't dry them but it will help them dry faster as I hang them out. I was so close, had to be awake to finish dishes, and the last load was socks... as easy as it gets. Plus, the feeling of being finished, if just for a day... moment. Well, not even that but shut up.
I also got the bins pulled back from the curb. I will clean the litter, feed the cats, wait to feed and water the ducks, fold laundry, then crash. It will be a few days until I can do more, so I won't set up more dishes. All good, that leaves the shower open for use. A shower early after waking will help recoup. I will be sore and tired for a while.
Blood sugar dropped to 80. After a light keto lunch, it jumped to 172 or so. Not 180, but close enough, so another dose, along with a few pieces of cheese and a fatted tea. At an half cup of cream, I can have four of those a day. Anyway, I'll keep at it. Best get meds down too. Later, or good night... day.
The plan continues.
.
.
At some point I will hit the wall. The faster I am going the less likely I am to see it coming. Sometimes it is just a slowing down, sometimes a blackout that lasts for hours to months. Even while I continue to post, I am not always aware of the space and time around me. Sometimes I have literally forgotten my name, if that only happens a few times a year now, or more a few days a year all in one go. Probably. The problem is I can't always remember I forgot.
Until I hit the wall, I will move as quickly as I am able. The new load of dishes has been hit and reset, laundry has been cycled, the cats have been fed, the house is cooling, I am adding, removing, or changing clothes as required to no freeze or burn. My feet needed socks, after air drying, but just liners. As the house cools, I will put on wool socks. And, yet, the t was getting too warm so I went to a muscle shirt.
In an hour I will give clothes a quick extra spin. They are almost never quite dry on a first run. Humidity has been very high, for hereabouts, lately... between 45% and 55%, even higher. Which, with low or fluff as standard settings, is why. Then finish the dishes. Then pull the clothes and shift loads. Finally, I will put as much of the next or last load of dishes in. With a counter set for processing, and the drill with the scrubber, cleaning to drying goes very quickly. The drill weighs a ton, but sometimes it can be rested, bringing dishes to it. Otherwise it is just a good workout!
As to how much of that plan can be done today, or all at once, that I can't say. My back... actually... for all I have been doing? I am thinking sleeping on the floor is paying off. I am not completely through the discomfort of sleeping on the floor. However the pains from that makes work easier. So, yes, well worth it. Anyway, I am moving along quite well. Oh, only finishing what laundry is going. The last load is for tomorrow... or later in the week. Probably.
.
At some point I will hit the wall. The faster I am going the less likely I am to see it coming. Sometimes it is just a slowing down, sometimes a blackout that lasts for hours to months. Even while I continue to post, I am not always aware of the space and time around me. Sometimes I have literally forgotten my name, if that only happens a few times a year now, or more a few days a year all in one go. Probably. The problem is I can't always remember I forgot.
Until I hit the wall, I will move as quickly as I am able. The new load of dishes has been hit and reset, laundry has been cycled, the cats have been fed, the house is cooling, I am adding, removing, or changing clothes as required to no freeze or burn. My feet needed socks, after air drying, but just liners. As the house cools, I will put on wool socks. And, yet, the t was getting too warm so I went to a muscle shirt.
In an hour I will give clothes a quick extra spin. They are almost never quite dry on a first run. Humidity has been very high, for hereabouts, lately... between 45% and 55%, even higher. Which, with low or fluff as standard settings, is why. Then finish the dishes. Then pull the clothes and shift loads. Finally, I will put as much of the next or last load of dishes in. With a counter set for processing, and the drill with the scrubber, cleaning to drying goes very quickly. The drill weighs a ton, but sometimes it can be rested, bringing dishes to it. Otherwise it is just a good workout!
As to how much of that plan can be done today, or all at once, that I can't say. My back... actually... for all I have been doing? I am thinking sleeping on the floor is paying off. I am not completely through the discomfort of sleeping on the floor. However the pains from that makes work easier. So, yes, well worth it. Anyway, I am moving along quite well. Oh, only finishing what laundry is going. The last load is for tomorrow... or later in the week. Probably.
Monday, October 7, 2019
All blather?
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I woke rearing to go. Plans set. If not an exact plan, something something about specific chores. As I sat, waking, I began to believe otherwise. I wasn't even sure about a shower. Then a potential salvational hail Mary plan. A simple plan, turn up the furnace.
K.I.S.S. - keep it simple, stupid When all is failing plans have to be simple.
So I sat. The warmth did it's thing. Finally an extended plan developed. A shower first. I wanted the hot water, without doubt, to extend what the furnace was doing. Then dishes and finally laundry. Oh, and then to turn the furnace back down so as to not overheat when I begin working. Done. All set up.
I have a timer set to feed the girls. At which time laundry might be ready to switch. I have two, if small specialty, loads after this smaller poly-cotton standard load. Dishes? What is left are bigger items. I think one load after this, though maybe two. Quart and half gallon jugs take up a lot of space. I am finally clearing some things out.
I was almost sure today would be empty. Maybe not. Oh, and fresh fatted coffee, insulin, and plans for, perhaps, an egg tuna roll, or maybe just tuna fried in ghee, with mayo and salsa. Oh yeah, something like that. I am hoping to boil a lot of eggs, mostly for pickling, as well. Though a dozen or two just for eats would be good.
No promises. I am already beyond surprise myself. But, there it is. Now for gaming as the world cools. Oh, a shave as well.
And my teeth, for as much coffee and tea as I drink, are really looking good. Brushing three times a day, though, is only part of it. After a few weeks of morning and night gargling with a water, salt, baking soda, and iodine mix, I continue using that one morning and two bedtimes a week. Plus, once or twice a week at random times in the day I add baking soda to the toothpaste. They will never be bleach bone, but they do shine and have stopped falling apart. Oh, and I don't use flouride. That stuff not only doesn't help, it is both a poison and a tool for dumbing the population down, as is vegetarianism and veganism.
Later.
.
I woke rearing to go. Plans set. If not an exact plan, something something about specific chores. As I sat, waking, I began to believe otherwise. I wasn't even sure about a shower. Then a potential salvational hail Mary plan. A simple plan, turn up the furnace.
K.I.S.S. - keep it simple, stupid When all is failing plans have to be simple.
So I sat. The warmth did it's thing. Finally an extended plan developed. A shower first. I wanted the hot water, without doubt, to extend what the furnace was doing. Then dishes and finally laundry. Oh, and then to turn the furnace back down so as to not overheat when I begin working. Done. All set up.
I have a timer set to feed the girls. At which time laundry might be ready to switch. I have two, if small specialty, loads after this smaller poly-cotton standard load. Dishes? What is left are bigger items. I think one load after this, though maybe two. Quart and half gallon jugs take up a lot of space. I am finally clearing some things out.
I was almost sure today would be empty. Maybe not. Oh, and fresh fatted coffee, insulin, and plans for, perhaps, an egg tuna roll, or maybe just tuna fried in ghee, with mayo and salsa. Oh yeah, something like that. I am hoping to boil a lot of eggs, mostly for pickling, as well. Though a dozen or two just for eats would be good.
No promises. I am already beyond surprise myself. But, there it is. Now for gaming as the world cools. Oh, a shave as well.
And my teeth, for as much coffee and tea as I drink, are really looking good. Brushing three times a day, though, is only part of it. After a few weeks of morning and night gargling with a water, salt, baking soda, and iodine mix, I continue using that one morning and two bedtimes a week. Plus, once or twice a week at random times in the day I add baking soda to the toothpaste. They will never be bleach bone, but they do shine and have stopped falling apart. Oh, and I don't use flouride. That stuff not only doesn't help, it is both a poison and a tool for dumbing the population down, as is vegetarianism and veganism.
Later.
A fantastic sleep.
.
.
I moved my bed into the closet. No joke, one way or the other. It was in order to shut out the light, a bit anyway. The folding doors have slats. Between the curtains and doors, sleeping in the day is better. A bit more cramped than anticipated, but it will do. Rather cozy, in the good ways, too.
I have switched morning and afternoon pills for now, again. Taking water pills just before sleep is a recipe for poor frustrated sleep. I had thought I was back on medicine, but kept slipping. It is amazing how confused the mind can get. Just exhaustion.
Blood sugar remained 140 plus or minus a few through the day... night. No need to treat, according to the plan. It is 207 as I wake, definitely fasting after nine hours down. A leftover fatted tea, the last bites of cheese from yesterday, and soon a hot fatted coffee as I wake. Plus a dose of insulin. Then a shower and shave.
If I can work it, I will get dishes started, begin a new load of laundry, and begin cleaning the bathroom. Perhaps a warmed tuna sandwich later. And, if possible, to bed early. The key fobs from amazon arrived. I would like to get them cut soon. Hopefully I can finish the dishes and perhaps two loads of laundry? Three? Oh, and bring the barrels back. Looks like it was only a trash day, but recycling wasn't full so no problem.
A good start to the week. Hopefully I can keep it up. I need to put a gate on the fence, bury a duck, clean a kitchen and living room, then get back to working on the bedrooms. I am alive again. Mostly. Oh, crap, I forgot all about walking. I will... get to that soon too. Not excited about it, but I am in some ways... hopeful? Maybe, or something similar? Later.
.
I moved my bed into the closet. No joke, one way or the other. It was in order to shut out the light, a bit anyway. The folding doors have slats. Between the curtains and doors, sleeping in the day is better. A bit more cramped than anticipated, but it will do. Rather cozy, in the good ways, too.
I have switched morning and afternoon pills for now, again. Taking water pills just before sleep is a recipe for poor frustrated sleep. I had thought I was back on medicine, but kept slipping. It is amazing how confused the mind can get. Just exhaustion.
Blood sugar remained 140 plus or minus a few through the day... night. No need to treat, according to the plan. It is 207 as I wake, definitely fasting after nine hours down. A leftover fatted tea, the last bites of cheese from yesterday, and soon a hot fatted coffee as I wake. Plus a dose of insulin. Then a shower and shave.
If I can work it, I will get dishes started, begin a new load of laundry, and begin cleaning the bathroom. Perhaps a warmed tuna sandwich later. And, if possible, to bed early. The key fobs from amazon arrived. I would like to get them cut soon. Hopefully I can finish the dishes and perhaps two loads of laundry? Three? Oh, and bring the barrels back. Looks like it was only a trash day, but recycling wasn't full so no problem.
A good start to the week. Hopefully I can keep it up. I need to put a gate on the fence, bury a duck, clean a kitchen and living room, then get back to working on the bedrooms. I am alive again. Mostly. Oh, crap, I forgot all about walking. I will... get to that soon too. Not excited about it, but I am in some ways... hopeful? Maybe, or something similar? Later.
Most of it.
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As a last thing, a shower. No shave yet. No dishes set up. I want another shower when I wake, then a shave, then I will set the last load of dishes, give or take, to soak. I checked the ducks. They had plenty of food and their water is fresh from last night. I will feed the girls shortly. And I would like to check on the other insulin from the V.A.
I can't quite go to bed. Beside the call, I am a bit jumpy from the work. Blood sugar was only 140 so no insulin was used. I did have sliced mozzarella and cheddar, with the fatted coffee, for breakfast... or dinner really. I may put some of the dishes up as I head to bed. Or not. May crash.
It was 26°, not 28° F. It remains so, at least to 8:30. I am looking forward to more work later, if possible. I am hoping work will allow for good sleep. No cats allowed! If Sam doesn't yeowl the next few days... I can still hear her, it just doesn't bother me so dreadfully a floor apart.
A bit of gaming, perhaps a few dishes put up, a call, brushing teeth, and hopefully a good sleep? I'll know shortly. Good night and day. You will be in my prayers, one way or the other, friend. Even if the term, friend, is used lightly. Friend.
.
As a last thing, a shower. No shave yet. No dishes set up. I want another shower when I wake, then a shave, then I will set the last load of dishes, give or take, to soak. I checked the ducks. They had plenty of food and their water is fresh from last night. I will feed the girls shortly. And I would like to check on the other insulin from the V.A.
I can't quite go to bed. Beside the call, I am a bit jumpy from the work. Blood sugar was only 140 so no insulin was used. I did have sliced mozzarella and cheddar, with the fatted coffee, for breakfast... or dinner really. I may put some of the dishes up as I head to bed. Or not. May crash.
It was 26°, not 28° F. It remains so, at least to 8:30. I am looking forward to more work later, if possible. I am hoping work will allow for good sleep. No cats allowed! If Sam doesn't yeowl the next few days... I can still hear her, it just doesn't bother me so dreadfully a floor apart.
A bit of gaming, perhaps a few dishes put up, a call, brushing teeth, and hopefully a good sleep? I'll know shortly. Good night and day. You will be in my prayers, one way or the other, friend. Even if the term, friend, is used lightly. Friend.
So close.
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.
Dishes are half dried and put up, half dried but air dry finishing. Laundry is all folded and put upstairs. I don't yet have a place to hang shirts, so for now I will be living out of baskets. Underwear, shorts, pj's, and pants get folded, socks are paired and tucked together, shirts are usually hung.
Trash and recycling were gathered and out, after dealing with cat litter within fifteen minutes of the last post. Less trash to go than anticipated, more recycling. It is all at the curb. No fresh laundry has been started. No dishes have been set up. A shower and shave first, not sure I can do those, any of it.
A fresh coffee is going. A fatted drink, then blood sugar check, and a dose if required. I found an mre cookie. I knew one had been misplaced. I really didn't want to eat it, but the surprise find, and carb withdrawals won against my better judgment. Oh well. That should be that for a while.
I'll sit and chill for a bit. At 66° in the warmer section of my home, I am pouring heat, but comfortably. The trick, for me, is to keep it cool but dress to be comfortable. Then keep it cool. Then I can work without overheating to the point of sickness. If the furnace could be trusted I would run it to the mid 50s, and still be quite comfy with just socks and albeit warm pj bottoms and a short sleeve t-shirt. Oh, it was 28° F out there this morning. Comfortable as listed even out there, with flip-flops.
Later or good night.
.
Dishes are half dried and put up, half dried but air dry finishing. Laundry is all folded and put upstairs. I don't yet have a place to hang shirts, so for now I will be living out of baskets. Underwear, shorts, pj's, and pants get folded, socks are paired and tucked together, shirts are usually hung.
Trash and recycling were gathered and out, after dealing with cat litter within fifteen minutes of the last post. Less trash to go than anticipated, more recycling. It is all at the curb. No fresh laundry has been started. No dishes have been set up. A shower and shave first, not sure I can do those, any of it.
A fresh coffee is going. A fatted drink, then blood sugar check, and a dose if required. I found an mre cookie. I knew one had been misplaced. I really didn't want to eat it, but the surprise find, and carb withdrawals won against my better judgment. Oh well. That should be that for a while.
I'll sit and chill for a bit. At 66° in the warmer section of my home, I am pouring heat, but comfortably. The trick, for me, is to keep it cool but dress to be comfortable. Then keep it cool. Then I can work without overheating to the point of sickness. If the furnace could be trusted I would run it to the mid 50s, and still be quite comfy with just socks and albeit warm pj bottoms and a short sleeve t-shirt. Oh, it was 28° F out there this morning. Comfortable as listed even out there, with flip-flops.
Later or good night.
Moving right along.
.
.
Half of the dishes dried but finishing air drying, the rest reset. The whites were folded, towels up, clothes will go up with this last load washed, dried, and at my feet about to be folded. Beard was trimmed. A few other things? I am actually surprised. As slow as I am going it is getting finished quickly.
After tea and sardines, blood sugar is up to 139. I will try it their way, only dose at 180 or higher. Once I receive the other insulin, the once daily, I may cut the dose.
I need to get the trash out. I don't think there is enough recycling, but I best check. They arrive early, sometimes both trucks. I was going to fold laundry first, but morning is coming at me too fast. Cat litter has to be sorted as well. Bleh. Stupid stuff, if a part of the program. Well worth the doing so as to have cats.
I'd best get the trash out, check recycling. After dishes, a shower and shave, then most remaining dishes in for a soak. I sure like the drill scrubber. It really works well. I may need to use bartender's stuff on tea stains though. It makes cleaning the half gallon and small mouth jars a lot easier. Tea stains don't count, not for cleanliness.
Best get going. Later.
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Half of the dishes dried but finishing air drying, the rest reset. The whites were folded, towels up, clothes will go up with this last load washed, dried, and at my feet about to be folded. Beard was trimmed. A few other things? I am actually surprised. As slow as I am going it is getting finished quickly.
After tea and sardines, blood sugar is up to 139. I will try it their way, only dose at 180 or higher. Once I receive the other insulin, the once daily, I may cut the dose.
I need to get the trash out. I don't think there is enough recycling, but I best check. They arrive early, sometimes both trucks. I was going to fold laundry first, but morning is coming at me too fast. Cat litter has to be sorted as well. Bleh. Stupid stuff, if a part of the program. Well worth the doing so as to have cats.
I'd best get the trash out, check recycling. After dishes, a shower and shave, then most remaining dishes in for a soak. I sure like the drill scrubber. It really works well. I may need to use bartender's stuff on tea stains though. It makes cleaning the half gallon and small mouth jars a lot easier. Tea stains don't count, not for cleanliness.
Best get going. Later.
Slow but onward.
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.
All whites were given a spin, tea was set then a fatted coffee was made. A dose of insulin was taken. I viewed the blog, looked for movies to watch, and played games to wake. That took longer than foreseen. As I stirred for tea, I decided to get back to it, before enjoying tea. Blood sugar is down to 91 from 232 fasting. Weird.
I had a plan, it stuck and served well. I hadn't included laundry because that hadn't been a part of even the big picture at the very start. Anyway... With laundry I decided to let that warm and fluff again. Then to the freezer, clearing and cleaning. Finally I reset the dishes to a fresh hot soak.
The timer will go off in the remnants of the half hour since the laundry started. I will then fold the towels, resetting the timer for a couple hours. The dishes should be ready by then. A show while folding, gaming after folding. I usually can't stay interested in movies or shows long enough to watch a complete thing. Same with gaming. Ugh.
I best make sure I set the timer. After these, I will get trash and recycling out, then get a shower and shave. Hmm, might clean up with the trimmer before shaving... makes it easier. As soon as trash is to the curb, if I can and want, I will go to bed. Might not be able, am open to it. Later.
.
All whites were given a spin, tea was set then a fatted coffee was made. A dose of insulin was taken. I viewed the blog, looked for movies to watch, and played games to wake. That took longer than foreseen. As I stirred for tea, I decided to get back to it, before enjoying tea. Blood sugar is down to 91 from 232 fasting. Weird.
I had a plan, it stuck and served well. I hadn't included laundry because that hadn't been a part of even the big picture at the very start. Anyway... With laundry I decided to let that warm and fluff again. Then to the freezer, clearing and cleaning. Finally I reset the dishes to a fresh hot soak.
The timer will go off in the remnants of the half hour since the laundry started. I will then fold the towels, resetting the timer for a couple hours. The dishes should be ready by then. A show while folding, gaming after folding. I usually can't stay interested in movies or shows long enough to watch a complete thing. Same with gaming. Ugh.
I best make sure I set the timer. After these, I will get trash and recycling out, then get a shower and shave. Hmm, might clean up with the trimmer before shaving... makes it easier. As soon as trash is to the curb, if I can and want, I will go to bed. Might not be able, am open to it. Later.
Sunday, October 6, 2019
Stupid cats!
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Actually just Sam. They are fed well, so it isn't that. I am not going to let her up anymore. She went through several fits of yeowling. I chased her several times, yelled, threw things, it didn't matter. She was a pest. And when I really need sleep. When I can finally do some work, especially if it is all I can do and more, I need solid sleep.
I didn't finish laundry. I did get the final load into the drier. It should be done. The last loads are towels, should be easy. No more laundry today. The dishes soaking, a shower and shave, trash and recycling out, then setting up more dishes. I need to clear and clean the freezer top, to act as my counter. Not much needed, just an extra few steps.
At 232 fasting blood sugar seems to have settled. I'll get tea going, for a fatted tea and dose. I need to shop soon. I really am all out of food. I don't want to fall back on mre's. After reviewing the packaging on those, I must assume .mil intel was pivotal in their design. No matter what sort of diet you are on? This is bad for you. And, if something doesn't have or need sugar, they add it or a tasteless equivalent. They aim to make this stuff bad.
Meat is so expensive now though. Fresh vegetables are close, if at least you can freeze meats. The good stores won't be open until tomorrow. All I know is Walmart is the same price on meats but are far inferior the few times I was in a pinch and tried. Their steaks are hard, weird. There burger has organ fat, and... other stuff sometimes. I suppose, for someone from south of the border, used to open air meat markets, that is still superior. Even if cautiously, I stick to real stores and butcher shops when able to buy in bulk.
First to wake. Meds, aspirin, fatted tea, a dose, waking, then... I won't reset dishes quite yet, but I will put the towels all in for a warming spin. Later.
.
Actually just Sam. They are fed well, so it isn't that. I am not going to let her up anymore. She went through several fits of yeowling. I chased her several times, yelled, threw things, it didn't matter. She was a pest. And when I really need sleep. When I can finally do some work, especially if it is all I can do and more, I need solid sleep.
I didn't finish laundry. I did get the final load into the drier. It should be done. The last loads are towels, should be easy. No more laundry today. The dishes soaking, a shower and shave, trash and recycling out, then setting up more dishes. I need to clear and clean the freezer top, to act as my counter. Not much needed, just an extra few steps.
At 232 fasting blood sugar seems to have settled. I'll get tea going, for a fatted tea and dose. I need to shop soon. I really am all out of food. I don't want to fall back on mre's. After reviewing the packaging on those, I must assume .mil intel was pivotal in their design. No matter what sort of diet you are on? This is bad for you. And, if something doesn't have or need sugar, they add it or a tasteless equivalent. They aim to make this stuff bad.
Meat is so expensive now though. Fresh vegetables are close, if at least you can freeze meats. The good stores won't be open until tomorrow. All I know is Walmart is the same price on meats but are far inferior the few times I was in a pinch and tried. Their steaks are hard, weird. There burger has organ fat, and... other stuff sometimes. I suppose, for someone from south of the border, used to open air meat markets, that is still superior. Even if cautiously, I stick to real stores and butcher shops when able to buy in bulk.
First to wake. Meds, aspirin, fatted tea, a dose, waking, then... I won't reset dishes quite yet, but I will put the towels all in for a warming spin. Later.
Not all of it.
.
.
As usual. As well, a whole day was lost to extra sleep. If I see that, I can handle things, like medicine. I didn't see it this time. I will fix it here on out.
Blood sugar is staying at 225 or up to 250. Another day without, then I will try dosing again. No reason to check bp until medicine is regular again.
No dishes, but they are planned. I finished two loads of laundry, have one nearly dried, then a small one to be dried. I am hoping to at least finish the ones in the drier, if I would really like to clear it all out. Dishes when I wake. I did reset their rinse. Bedtime shortly. A call to my mom, hopefully she is available.
Good night, morning, and day. Oh, hey, if you find yourself in church, would you add a prayer for me. No need to tell Him, He knows.
.
As usual. As well, a whole day was lost to extra sleep. If I see that, I can handle things, like medicine. I didn't see it this time. I will fix it here on out.
Blood sugar is staying at 225 or up to 250. Another day without, then I will try dosing again. No reason to check bp until medicine is regular again.
No dishes, but they are planned. I finished two loads of laundry, have one nearly dried, then a small one to be dried. I am hoping to at least finish the ones in the drier, if I would really like to clear it all out. Dishes when I wake. I did reset their rinse. Bedtime shortly. A call to my mom, hopefully she is available.
Good night, morning, and day. Oh, hey, if you find yourself in church, would you add a prayer for me. No need to tell Him, He knows.
Saturday, October 5, 2019
Getting ready.
.
.
The goal is to finish the dishes already going, get another load going and washed, do two more loads of laundry to completion... one complete the other just needs finished drying and folded, another shower, and trash. I think it is possible. I won't be working on the mower, probably.
Tomorrow will be a light day. Perhaps the mower, getting trash to the curb, cleaning up a few small spaces, areas. I am hoping to go walking this Monday. Plus hitting the bathroom. Sleep is very off, but from day to day. I am not stuck on third shift, I am stuck on swing shift.
Ugh. Blood sugar was 225. I will just let it run a few days, see what is happening, then go from there. Later.
.
The goal is to finish the dishes already going, get another load going and washed, do two more loads of laundry to completion... one complete the other just needs finished drying and folded, another shower, and trash. I think it is possible. I won't be working on the mower, probably.
Tomorrow will be a light day. Perhaps the mower, getting trash to the curb, cleaning up a few small spaces, areas. I am hoping to go walking this Monday. Plus hitting the bathroom. Sleep is very off, but from day to day. I am not stuck on third shift, I am stuck on swing shift.
Ugh. Blood sugar was 225. I will just let it run a few days, see what is happening, then go from there. Later.
Not all of it.
.
.
Two loads of laundry, one drying, one folded. Dishes washed well, then set to a rinse. A shower taken. A very good thing. It is about time to sleep, for a while.
Blood sugar, with nothing but tea, has risen. Going to 139 then to 149 just now. I am holding off insulin until... until... I am not sure. It is being so strange. Hmm, they haven't sent the other insulin. I'll call about that Monday. Definitely bedtime. Good night. Oh, I need to brush my teeth. I've been doing pretty good at that for most of this last year.
Good night.
.
Two loads of laundry, one drying, one folded. Dishes washed well, then set to a rinse. A shower taken. A very good thing. It is about time to sleep, for a while.
Blood sugar, with nothing but tea, has risen. Going to 139 then to 149 just now. I am holding off insulin until... until... I am not sure. It is being so strange. Hmm, they haven't sent the other insulin. I'll call about that Monday. Definitely bedtime. Good night. Oh, I need to brush my teeth. I've been doing pretty good at that for most of this last year.
Good night.
Odder yet.
.
.
As mentioned, I stopped treating diabetes. I continued to eat keto, at normal portions when it was time. My last reading was 240 and 225, I measured twice as I couldn't understand, or more didn't believe it was that high after dosing while eating correctly. Two hours after those, blood sugar is at 116. I did eat, and had a fatted tea. BP remains pretty much unchanged.
Parts have arrived to put flasher/strobes on the riding lawn mower/plow. Not for mowing, though good for driving through town early or late. A project which should go smoothly. I was careful with my purchases, kept the kit simple. I am looking forward to working on it, probably tomorrow.
As well, a load of laundry was put through and dishes were reset to a fresh soak. The cleaning system should make dishes a breeze. There are parts for pots, pans, flatware, and just about everything but tiny or really delicate. I don't have much of that. What I might have will be retired by my new system. *zoom zoom!*
Yea, I will get the dishes and laundry finished yet tonight, plus get a shower. Later.
.
As mentioned, I stopped treating diabetes. I continued to eat keto, at normal portions when it was time. My last reading was 240 and 225, I measured twice as I couldn't understand, or more didn't believe it was that high after dosing while eating correctly. Two hours after those, blood sugar is at 116. I did eat, and had a fatted tea. BP remains pretty much unchanged.
Parts have arrived to put flasher/strobes on the riding lawn mower/plow. Not for mowing, though good for driving through town early or late. A project which should go smoothly. I was careful with my purchases, kept the kit simple. I am looking forward to working on it, probably tomorrow.
As well, a load of laundry was put through and dishes were reset to a fresh soak. The cleaning system should make dishes a breeze. There are parts for pots, pans, flatware, and just about everything but tiny or really delicate. I don't have much of that. What I might have will be retired by my new system. *zoom zoom!*
Yea, I will get the dishes and laundry finished yet tonight, plus get a shower. Later.
Friday, October 4, 2019
Blood sugar is just crazy.
.
.
Bp is stupid too. Bp is remaining above 150/100 if pulse is dropping closer to 70 each time. I will cut the extra 3.125 mg tab. That must be it, part of it. Blood sugar is staying 225 or higher, eating correctly, dosing heavy or light. I may stop the stuff for a few days, perhaps fast as well. Nothing but solid keto in, doesn't make sense.
What is stranger is it does, randomly, drop. Then without food or even tea, it will climb. Or even when sleeping. It is bedtime I do believe. The ducks... I just closed them in when I found them in the coop, with food and water. I will feed the girls as well, again.
Hmm, I may hit dishes. The bottle cleaner has arrived. Yeah, on a drill, it will strip scale, or other stuff. I just hate scrungy glass. Later, since I will be doing dishes. Might as well reset them, and do a load of laundry. Bleh.
.
Bp is stupid too. Bp is remaining above 150/100 if pulse is dropping closer to 70 each time. I will cut the extra 3.125 mg tab. That must be it, part of it. Blood sugar is staying 225 or higher, eating correctly, dosing heavy or light. I may stop the stuff for a few days, perhaps fast as well. Nothing but solid keto in, doesn't make sense.
What is stranger is it does, randomly, drop. Then without food or even tea, it will climb. Or even when sleeping. It is bedtime I do believe. The ducks... I just closed them in when I found them in the coop, with food and water. I will feed the girls as well, again.
Hmm, I may hit dishes. The bottle cleaner has arrived. Yeah, on a drill, it will strip scale, or other stuff. I just hate scrungy glass. Later, since I will be doing dishes. Might as well reset them, and do a load of laundry. Bleh.
Ill news.
.
.
While napping, a call. Neighbor son number three, letting me know one of my ducks was dead. I... had a strange feeling earlier, woke me. Wanted to check the ducks. Couldn't fully wake to do so. Even now knowing, I just wanted to go back to sleep. If one was down, I suspected all would be down.
I couldn't sleep. But I couldn't get going quickly either. I was still tired. I didn't want to see the one. I didn't want to see them all, if dead. Still, and in any case, I actually moved as quickly as possible toward the inevitable. It took an hour, two? Oddly, given all, that was quite fast. I don't handle death well.
It was one of the hens. She looked to have been run over while fleeing. There were no marks, or feathers. She sure looked to have been chased. I went looking for the others. If it had just been a natural thing... but no. I found them hiding in the hutch. I will have to finish their enclosure, eventually working on a covering. As well, younglings next spring, possibly to include geese, a few for defense.
It is a relief to not have lost them all. I will bury this one soon.
Oh, bp is 150/110 pulse 71 and blood sugar, which had dropped further on it's own to 119 right before the nap, has climbed to 241? Crazy. Doing what I can. Later.
.
While napping, a call. Neighbor son number three, letting me know one of my ducks was dead. I... had a strange feeling earlier, woke me. Wanted to check the ducks. Couldn't fully wake to do so. Even now knowing, I just wanted to go back to sleep. If one was down, I suspected all would be down.
I couldn't sleep. But I couldn't get going quickly either. I was still tired. I didn't want to see the one. I didn't want to see them all, if dead. Still, and in any case, I actually moved as quickly as possible toward the inevitable. It took an hour, two? Oddly, given all, that was quite fast. I don't handle death well.
It was one of the hens. She looked to have been run over while fleeing. There were no marks, or feathers. She sure looked to have been chased. I went looking for the others. If it had just been a natural thing... but no. I found them hiding in the hutch. I will have to finish their enclosure, eventually working on a covering. As well, younglings next spring, possibly to include geese, a few for defense.
It is a relief to not have lost them all. I will bury this one soon.
Oh, bp is 150/110 pulse 71 and blood sugar, which had dropped further on it's own to 119 right before the nap, has climbed to 241? Crazy. Doing what I can. Later.
A nap.
.
.
That is the plan anyway. It has been a bit rough. I have had worse. I am almost certain it is a mix of increasing carvedilol and blood sugar. It dropped back to 146 after the last dose with a fatted coffee. I am almost afraid to tinker with it. Yeah, I will leave it alone until this afternoon. BP is 155/101 pulse 74. That also doesn't make sense. I haven't missed a medication in at least a week, probably closer to two weeks. Perhaps it is somehow connected to high blood sugar? The pulse is strange, if... I think... in the good way. I think low pulse indicates the limit for carvedilol. I'll... read up on that soon.
Clouds are moving in, but it isn't exceedingly dark. It is up to 48° outside. I can keep the house 66°, until it becomes much colder, 70° when I am awake. It is 60° upstairs, though I still have the air conditioners in. Not sure how much difference their removal will make. As well, opening the through vent and removing the barrier material may make a difference. Heat does rise. But it isn't that big of an opening. I will find out about fall and winter trim, upstairs, this year.
This summer on, I have a different set of tolerances and somewhat improved health, if age has become more of a factor. I am learning, and able, to dress better for whichever season. More, I am tolerating each season a good deal better. Why it took so long to get to this point? Some of it was due to my (continued) distrust, some of it was due to the reason for my distrust. It is today. I start there.
Yea, a nap... soon. Later.
.
That is the plan anyway. It has been a bit rough. I have had worse. I am almost certain it is a mix of increasing carvedilol and blood sugar. It dropped back to 146 after the last dose with a fatted coffee. I am almost afraid to tinker with it. Yeah, I will leave it alone until this afternoon. BP is 155/101 pulse 74. That also doesn't make sense. I haven't missed a medication in at least a week, probably closer to two weeks. Perhaps it is somehow connected to high blood sugar? The pulse is strange, if... I think... in the good way. I think low pulse indicates the limit for carvedilol. I'll... read up on that soon.
Clouds are moving in, but it isn't exceedingly dark. It is up to 48° outside. I can keep the house 66°, until it becomes much colder, 70° when I am awake. It is 60° upstairs, though I still have the air conditioners in. Not sure how much difference their removal will make. As well, opening the through vent and removing the barrier material may make a difference. Heat does rise. But it isn't that big of an opening. I will find out about fall and winter trim, upstairs, this year.
This summer on, I have a different set of tolerances and somewhat improved health, if age has become more of a factor. I am learning, and able, to dress better for whichever season. More, I am tolerating each season a good deal better. Why it took so long to get to this point? Some of it was due to my (continued) distrust, some of it was due to the reason for my distrust. It is today. I start there.
Yea, a nap... soon. Later.
Up early.
.
.
Bedtime ended up being late. Wanted to check blood sugar again. It wasn't until 1:30 that I went down. I woke at 3:30, then roughly every half hour after until I gave up at 5:00 and rolled out. Sleep just wasn't doing any good. I am not feeling well on top of being exceedingly tired, if not in the sleepy sort of that. It is flu-like symptoms.
I don't think it is the flu. It is some long term, usually subdued, illness that never quite goes away. It hides just under the surface, waiting to emerge whenever the chance presents. Some jungle gunk? A remnant of an experimental vaxx from the Navy? Dunno, I just know the specific profile of symptoms. A handful of aspirin, rest, and fluid. I have never gone to the doctor about it. By the time I could get in it would usually be gone. I have this funny feeling that it had something to do with my bad heart.
Blood sugar was 143 fasting. So I had a small keto breakfast with an half insulin dose. Two hours later, and change, it had climbed to 225! That makes absolutely no sense at all. I am having a fatted coffee and a bigger than usual dose. I won't do bp until later, I just took morning meds. It takes a while for them to work.
It looks like a nice day. It was right at 32° at 5:00. Here at 8:34 it is 35°. It doesn't feel that cool... cold. Neither the ducks nor I seem bothered by it. Two fresh eggs as well. Later.
.
Bedtime ended up being late. Wanted to check blood sugar again. It wasn't until 1:30 that I went down. I woke at 3:30, then roughly every half hour after until I gave up at 5:00 and rolled out. Sleep just wasn't doing any good. I am not feeling well on top of being exceedingly tired, if not in the sleepy sort of that. It is flu-like symptoms.
I don't think it is the flu. It is some long term, usually subdued, illness that never quite goes away. It hides just under the surface, waiting to emerge whenever the chance presents. Some jungle gunk? A remnant of an experimental vaxx from the Navy? Dunno, I just know the specific profile of symptoms. A handful of aspirin, rest, and fluid. I have never gone to the doctor about it. By the time I could get in it would usually be gone. I have this funny feeling that it had something to do with my bad heart.
Blood sugar was 143 fasting. So I had a small keto breakfast with an half insulin dose. Two hours later, and change, it had climbed to 225! That makes absolutely no sense at all. I am having a fatted coffee and a bigger than usual dose. I won't do bp until later, I just took morning meds. It takes a while for them to work.
It looks like a nice day. It was right at 32° at 5:00. Here at 8:34 it is 35°. It doesn't feel that cool... cold. Neither the ducks nor I seem bothered by it. Two fresh eggs as well. Later.
Thursday, October 3, 2019
That was quite a hit.
.
.
Blood sugar was 238, down from 261 waking. I have been eating keto for going on the second day. I hit a second, large, dose after the second reading. I was starting to feel ill. Almost as if my blood sugar was cratering. But that couldn't be it. So I waited for the timer to ring, then checked. At 71 I think that really was the problem.
It isn't the lowest number I have seen. And, when blood sugar is more stable it usually wouldn't be a problem for a few more points. It is both the relative low compared to recent highs. A drop of 167 points in an hour and a half, plus being 350 or so for several days... big changes, fast changes.
I am avoiding carb tabs. The spike can be severe, if it doesn't last long. A tuna sandwich, using keto pita, plus a glass of milk. So tired from the crash though. Still feeling a bit woozy. I want to check blood sugar again an hour after eating. Then I will sleep. I have carb tabs up there, just in case. So tired on top of already being exhausted though. Later, or good night.
-----------
Good call. Food brought blood sugar up to 91. In one sense that is still a bit low. Especially only an hour after eating. It will go down after this. I am feeling better, but still plan to go on to bed again. Better, but not well. That drop really took it out of me. As mentioned, I keep carb tabs up there, and seem to sense a drop coming. I won't question it again, after this. Though, usually, blood sugar rises for me through the night as I sleep.
Good night.
.
Blood sugar was 238, down from 261 waking. I have been eating keto for going on the second day. I hit a second, large, dose after the second reading. I was starting to feel ill. Almost as if my blood sugar was cratering. But that couldn't be it. So I waited for the timer to ring, then checked. At 71 I think that really was the problem.
It isn't the lowest number I have seen. And, when blood sugar is more stable it usually wouldn't be a problem for a few more points. It is both the relative low compared to recent highs. A drop of 167 points in an hour and a half, plus being 350 or so for several days... big changes, fast changes.
I am avoiding carb tabs. The spike can be severe, if it doesn't last long. A tuna sandwich, using keto pita, plus a glass of milk. So tired from the crash though. Still feeling a bit woozy. I want to check blood sugar again an hour after eating. Then I will sleep. I have carb tabs up there, just in case. So tired on top of already being exhausted though. Later, or good night.
-----------
Good call. Food brought blood sugar up to 91. In one sense that is still a bit low. Especially only an hour after eating. It will go down after this. I am feeling better, but still plan to go on to bed again. Better, but not well. That drop really took it out of me. As mentioned, I keep carb tabs up there, and seem to sense a drop coming. I won't question it again, after this. Though, usually, blood sugar rises for me through the night as I sleep.
Good night.
A touch too much?
.
.
Brutal. Sleeping very long. Snoring? The back of my throat is dry and sore as if I had been snoring. A rare thing, with an easy to sense symptom. It happens when I am tired beyond reason. I was, am still, extremely tired. I kept waking today. Some aspects of flesh and mind had slept enough. More sleep seemed an agony. And, yet, I could not break the spell.
It, from what I could see when finally able to wake, was a fantastic fall day. It seemed more a fond memory of a summer day than harkening to days to come. It would have been a great day to get out. Though from this weather to colder is my element... down to negative twenty, perhaps to negative forty. As long as I can get through the gloom, the weather is mine.
Part of the problem may be that bit extra carvedilol. It may be the straw that broke the camel's back. Though to, it my be blood sugar. Being mostly broke toward the end of this month, and having eaten else, I was down to mre's (meals ready to eat), old soup, and crackers. I controlled it for a bit, but at some point all attempts failed. It has been high the last few days. Today I am back into keto, and dosing, but it will take a while.
I will give the extra carvedilol another week, in case it is diabetes. I was hoping to get two more small tabs in. It might not be possible. Got to give it time. This stuff does work, if at a cost. I am doing what I can. Perhaps missing perfection, but that isn't available even to angels or saints.
My brother called today. Since I have figured out controls for my phone, which excludes non-contacts from ringing through, and to keep myself available to calls/texts for help, my phone is with me when sleeping in the day. I like being more available. I was a bit worried about him. He might have thought I had blown him off recently, rather than just be tired lately. I'll try to keep more in touch. Oh, now to figure out how to get it to shut off at night and turn on in the morning.
I do my best. I'll keep at it. Later.
.
Brutal. Sleeping very long. Snoring? The back of my throat is dry and sore as if I had been snoring. A rare thing, with an easy to sense symptom. It happens when I am tired beyond reason. I was, am still, extremely tired. I kept waking today. Some aspects of flesh and mind had slept enough. More sleep seemed an agony. And, yet, I could not break the spell.
It, from what I could see when finally able to wake, was a fantastic fall day. It seemed more a fond memory of a summer day than harkening to days to come. It would have been a great day to get out. Though from this weather to colder is my element... down to negative twenty, perhaps to negative forty. As long as I can get through the gloom, the weather is mine.
Part of the problem may be that bit extra carvedilol. It may be the straw that broke the camel's back. Though to, it my be blood sugar. Being mostly broke toward the end of this month, and having eaten else, I was down to mre's (meals ready to eat), old soup, and crackers. I controlled it for a bit, but at some point all attempts failed. It has been high the last few days. Today I am back into keto, and dosing, but it will take a while.
I will give the extra carvedilol another week, in case it is diabetes. I was hoping to get two more small tabs in. It might not be possible. Got to give it time. This stuff does work, if at a cost. I am doing what I can. Perhaps missing perfection, but that isn't available even to angels or saints.
My brother called today. Since I have figured out controls for my phone, which excludes non-contacts from ringing through, and to keep myself available to calls/texts for help, my phone is with me when sleeping in the day. I like being more available. I was a bit worried about him. He might have thought I had blown him off recently, rather than just be tired lately. I'll try to keep more in touch. Oh, now to figure out how to get it to shut off at night and turn on in the morning.
I do my best. I'll keep at it. Later.
Wednesday, October 2, 2019
So tired.
.
.
Weary i ways I can't put rightly in words. For there are no words which convey the depths, level, complexity, of this vex. I have had worse, but as with pain, memory cannot capture these things, as pictures fail to capture pets or even people. Look back through photos of lost pets, friends, and family to get an understanding.
It is a combination of fall and the continued titration. Carvedilol is extremely potent stuff. With pulse hitting sub 80s regularly, I am probably on the verge of maximum. It is turning into a beautiful fall, if a slightly cool one. Cool is good for me, but it is a gift with a cost.
No, I haven't gotten out to walk. Something comes up, or... Yes, I will. But I really can't do a lot in a day. And, as mentioned with walking initially, I can't do something exercise wise or like daily. So, if I do and am worn, I won't walk that day or the next. And, as for my part, I would rather be out doing something real, if the opportunity presents, than just walking.
Oh, found my car keys. But I found them where they couldn't have been. They were in a place I checked every time I looked, usually a first to third place, and on top of paperwork from last week. Very strange. Ghosts or sneaks. Don't care now that they are back. Will get two more sets, plus some chipless. Have not lost my other car keys.
Ugh. A bit worn. Just getting to town pounds me. I need to get groceries soon. I am tight, financially this month, but am nearly caught up. I am still behind on one utility bill and milk. I can get milk, and put some, and extra, on the utility, and actually eat this month. But that is mostly all, and just.
Next month I can breath for the first time in a while. Ugh. Yeah, too tired to blog. Will, try to do more again. Later.
.
Weary i ways I can't put rightly in words. For there are no words which convey the depths, level, complexity, of this vex. I have had worse, but as with pain, memory cannot capture these things, as pictures fail to capture pets or even people. Look back through photos of lost pets, friends, and family to get an understanding.
It is a combination of fall and the continued titration. Carvedilol is extremely potent stuff. With pulse hitting sub 80s regularly, I am probably on the verge of maximum. It is turning into a beautiful fall, if a slightly cool one. Cool is good for me, but it is a gift with a cost.
No, I haven't gotten out to walk. Something comes up, or... Yes, I will. But I really can't do a lot in a day. And, as mentioned with walking initially, I can't do something exercise wise or like daily. So, if I do and am worn, I won't walk that day or the next. And, as for my part, I would rather be out doing something real, if the opportunity presents, than just walking.
Oh, found my car keys. But I found them where they couldn't have been. They were in a place I checked every time I looked, usually a first to third place, and on top of paperwork from last week. Very strange. Ghosts or sneaks. Don't care now that they are back. Will get two more sets, plus some chipless. Have not lost my other car keys.
Ugh. A bit worn. Just getting to town pounds me. I need to get groceries soon. I am tight, financially this month, but am nearly caught up. I am still behind on one utility bill and milk. I can get milk, and put some, and extra, on the utility, and actually eat this month. But that is mostly all, and just.
Next month I can breath for the first time in a while. Ugh. Yeah, too tired to blog. Will, try to do more again. Later.
Monday, September 30, 2019
Without comment.
.
.
At some risk. As it arrived.
If you do not wish to know? Don't look. I see what I see, and it goes here.
Not mine. A part of it? Which part, if so?
.
At some risk. As it arrived.
If you do not wish to know? Don't look. I see what I see, and it goes here.
Not mine. A part of it? Which part, if so?
Fog.
.
.
Without looking at the clock, I just kept expecting the sun to show. At some point I started to worry. Is it already that late in the season? Had dawn slipped into midmorning? Finally I simply had to see. Not a light fog, a thick one. One a thought could be given to getting a bowl of it.
By seven thirty enough light was trickling through to safely let the ducks out. Only one had layed an egg. I suspect low light will do that. They were really happy to be let out. The cats have been fed as well. And given a snack. I don't think Sassy can lose weight, at this point. Still, perhaps she can keep from adding weight.
After a dose, a fatted tea, and two hours, blood sugar had only dropped to 173, five points. Very strange. So, a meal and a bigger dose. While I want to nap, or more, I want to see what is happening with blood sugar first. I need it to be going down, or hit it again. There is no good reason for insulin not to have worked. BP is 137/91 with a pulse of 78.
At least there is some sun. Or light I should say. It helps. Later.
.
Without looking at the clock, I just kept expecting the sun to show. At some point I started to worry. Is it already that late in the season? Had dawn slipped into midmorning? Finally I simply had to see. Not a light fog, a thick one. One a thought could be given to getting a bowl of it.
By seven thirty enough light was trickling through to safely let the ducks out. Only one had layed an egg. I suspect low light will do that. They were really happy to be let out. The cats have been fed as well. And given a snack. I don't think Sassy can lose weight, at this point. Still, perhaps she can keep from adding weight.
After a dose, a fatted tea, and two hours, blood sugar had only dropped to 173, five points. Very strange. So, a meal and a bigger dose. While I want to nap, or more, I want to see what is happening with blood sugar first. I need it to be going down, or hit it again. There is no good reason for insulin not to have worked. BP is 137/91 with a pulse of 78.
At least there is some sun. Or light I should say. It helps. Later.
A bit tight this morning.
.
.
Not sure what the problem is, exactly. A grand headache as a base symptom. At least it isn't a migraine. Mostly from stiff neck muscles. Sleeping at the wrong angle? Some nights no correct, or good, angle can be found. I think last night was one, for I did try. Down at 21:00ish, awake at 3:08, with a .mil sort of dream to match. I love it when a plan comes together.
In the dream, I met a soldier, became friends. I also got to know his commanding officer, as a friend as well. As they were heading to their next duty station, in Tennessee, I talked myself into driving, helping drive, out that way. Then wanting to back out. In the dream, as now, I was a bit low on cash, it was the end of the month but the next month was going to be harsh as well.
He sort of kept me to my promise, so... a promise is a promise. Half way there, they said it was all good, not to worry about costs, but didn't explain. When we arrived, they hooked me up with temporary housing and explained. About ten of the soldiers, and the c.o., were retiring and going into construction. They thought I could be useful.
As the next week went on, my job was clarified. They realized I couldn't work actual construction. But what I could do was be a tool and expendables master. What I couldn't do, I could arrange. Part time, rent, gas, a truck, and else, rather than pay. I wasn't sure, for a number of reasons. Turns out they already knew everything. Didn't care as long as it stayed private. All good.
It was good to work with .mil types again. These really were the best of the lot. Hard workers, willing and able to think on their feet, learn, and teach. In time the company picked up a company of vets, in many fields, uptrained or shifted, overlapping and covering new areas, until we could build or destroy just about anything.
And the feel was the good parts of the service without the bad... the brotherhood and hard work without shit pay and long spits away from home, or so far and out of touch. A very good dream. Yes, I love to work, it just isn't possible in real terms. Waking, without choice, at 3:08? I will need a nap, probably, hopefully, before dawn. Though, possibly, either way, my day is already shot.
Meds are down. Blood sugar is 178 fasting. Oh, and... I woke to a clock ticking. A gentle, rhythmic, clicking mechanism. I realized, first, that all of my clocks are digital. Then that it was my heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was my heart. Until this time, any time for a very long time, that I could hear it, it was as thunder. This time it was as a precise best German craftsmanship timepiece. What a beautiful sound, metallic sounding, and so meticulous. BP is 146/90 with a pulse of 78.
Good morning and day.
.
Not sure what the problem is, exactly. A grand headache as a base symptom. At least it isn't a migraine. Mostly from stiff neck muscles. Sleeping at the wrong angle? Some nights no correct, or good, angle can be found. I think last night was one, for I did try. Down at 21:00ish, awake at 3:08, with a .mil sort of dream to match. I love it when a plan comes together.
In the dream, I met a soldier, became friends. I also got to know his commanding officer, as a friend as well. As they were heading to their next duty station, in Tennessee, I talked myself into driving, helping drive, out that way. Then wanting to back out. In the dream, as now, I was a bit low on cash, it was the end of the month but the next month was going to be harsh as well.
He sort of kept me to my promise, so... a promise is a promise. Half way there, they said it was all good, not to worry about costs, but didn't explain. When we arrived, they hooked me up with temporary housing and explained. About ten of the soldiers, and the c.o., were retiring and going into construction. They thought I could be useful.
As the next week went on, my job was clarified. They realized I couldn't work actual construction. But what I could do was be a tool and expendables master. What I couldn't do, I could arrange. Part time, rent, gas, a truck, and else, rather than pay. I wasn't sure, for a number of reasons. Turns out they already knew everything. Didn't care as long as it stayed private. All good.
It was good to work with .mil types again. These really were the best of the lot. Hard workers, willing and able to think on their feet, learn, and teach. In time the company picked up a company of vets, in many fields, uptrained or shifted, overlapping and covering new areas, until we could build or destroy just about anything.
And the feel was the good parts of the service without the bad... the brotherhood and hard work without shit pay and long spits away from home, or so far and out of touch. A very good dream. Yes, I love to work, it just isn't possible in real terms. Waking, without choice, at 3:08? I will need a nap, probably, hopefully, before dawn. Though, possibly, either way, my day is already shot.
Meds are down. Blood sugar is 178 fasting. Oh, and... I woke to a clock ticking. A gentle, rhythmic, clicking mechanism. I realized, first, that all of my clocks are digital. Then that it was my heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was my heart. Until this time, any time for a very long time, that I could hear it, it was as thunder. This time it was as a precise best German craftsmanship timepiece. What a beautiful sound, metallic sounding, and so meticulous. BP is 146/90 with a pulse of 78.
Good morning and day.
Sunday, September 29, 2019
The rain is finished.
.
.
It stopped for now. The sun was out for a while. I noticed when I put the ducks up. Perhaps before? Definitely by then. Seemed pretty cool, cold really. Sunshine will, could, help. It was good to see some sun after an intense set of rainy days. It was incredibly dark, and the amount of rain was spooky. It almost had to have flooded some places?
Then again, even if a bit of a downer, to see it storm like that was neat. I love weather events and that certainly was one. We very rarely get extended events here. Lightning and thunder? Oh yes, both of those. The times I watched, when thunder could be heard, lightning couldn't be seen though.
A bite to eat. Down to mre's. I need to figure some things out. After bills, food this month. We will see. I really need meat, but that has gone off the charts. I have to go with canned veggies, for most of it, or it gets wasted. Bills, food, and cat litter. A last rough financial month, mostly.
I am already ready for bed. I am hoping to wake at a reasonable hour. Then finish off dishes, take a shower, rest and wake, then go for a walk. It is a reasonable hope, plan... Good night.
.
It stopped for now. The sun was out for a while. I noticed when I put the ducks up. Perhaps before? Definitely by then. Seemed pretty cool, cold really. Sunshine will, could, help. It was good to see some sun after an intense set of rainy days. It was incredibly dark, and the amount of rain was spooky. It almost had to have flooded some places?
Then again, even if a bit of a downer, to see it storm like that was neat. I love weather events and that certainly was one. We very rarely get extended events here. Lightning and thunder? Oh yes, both of those. The times I watched, when thunder could be heard, lightning couldn't be seen though.
A bite to eat. Down to mre's. I need to figure some things out. After bills, food this month. We will see. I really need meat, but that has gone off the charts. I have to go with canned veggies, for most of it, or it gets wasted. Bills, food, and cat litter. A last rough financial month, mostly.
I am already ready for bed. I am hoping to wake at a reasonable hour. Then finish off dishes, take a shower, rest and wake, then go for a walk. It is a reasonable hope, plan... Good night.
Depressing weather.
.
.
A short term fix is to turn the furnace up a bit. Well, and to not fight sleep. Fix? Not quite, perhaps more treatments. There is no cure for melancholy. Less so seasonal. The sun went away for several days, it has been pouring, and it was 38° this morning... if my morning was 14:00.
I had the furnace at 72° overnight. It was 63° upstairs, which is a extremely good sleeping temperature. Waking was a little shaky, but once down into the warmth it was much better. I even needed to turn the furnace down to 70°. I may turn it down further through the day. If I could do regular days, I would set the furnace for a morning warmth. Long enough to wake, warm, shower, dress, and then have it at about 66°.
Blood sugar is 171 fasting, but I haven't been eating right, so it is actually better than anticipated. I will check bp after meds have had a chance to do their thing. I talked them into adding just a bit more carvedilol. I have added an extra of the small dose at night. If that goes well, a morning dose will be added. At nose-bleed dosage already, tiny titration is required.
Monday, tomorrow, is walk day. I should get rain gear, a canteen, and perhaps a minor pack set up. I don't really need a pack, but I... if I am going to walk, I might as well gear up for hiking or even snowshoeing. Plus, it adds an adventure element to the program. Now, if I don't have it all together, I will just go anyway. I am sure I have rain gear somewhere right handy. And, if a bit larger than warranted, I have several steel thermos jugs ready... more for V.A. travel days... but stuff in a pack and go. Boots and shoes are ready. Monday. Later.
.
A short term fix is to turn the furnace up a bit. Well, and to not fight sleep. Fix? Not quite, perhaps more treatments. There is no cure for melancholy. Less so seasonal. The sun went away for several days, it has been pouring, and it was 38° this morning... if my morning was 14:00.
I had the furnace at 72° overnight. It was 63° upstairs, which is a extremely good sleeping temperature. Waking was a little shaky, but once down into the warmth it was much better. I even needed to turn the furnace down to 70°. I may turn it down further through the day. If I could do regular days, I would set the furnace for a morning warmth. Long enough to wake, warm, shower, dress, and then have it at about 66°.
Blood sugar is 171 fasting, but I haven't been eating right, so it is actually better than anticipated. I will check bp after meds have had a chance to do their thing. I talked them into adding just a bit more carvedilol. I have added an extra of the small dose at night. If that goes well, a morning dose will be added. At nose-bleed dosage already, tiny titration is required.
Monday, tomorrow, is walk day. I should get rain gear, a canteen, and perhaps a minor pack set up. I don't really need a pack, but I... if I am going to walk, I might as well gear up for hiking or even snowshoeing. Plus, it adds an adventure element to the program. Now, if I don't have it all together, I will just go anyway. I am sure I have rain gear somewhere right handy. And, if a bit larger than warranted, I have several steel thermos jugs ready... more for V.A. travel days... but stuff in a pack and go. Boots and shoes are ready. Monday. Later.
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