Heading back to normalcy.

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Not that normalcy is anything more than seemingly a sliver more away from the edge, not even always that.  I have an uneasy negotiated settlement.  For my part, I don't mind when my time comes.  I don't want to be pushed, I don't think that would be right for you or me.  More, I don't think it works that way, or can.  But it can hurt, a lot.  I won't push.  Oh, I may dance on the line, intellectually.  Come to think of it, that was my first vow.  As I may have mentioned, it isn't a vow now... just a part of life.  I can't just allow it, if I no longer trust medicine or have any real access to it.  Bureaucrats don't always have to have guns to harm you.  Rip the Veterans Administration apart, burn it down, start from the start.  Though with millenial to boomer fascist notions permeating medical to academic... that's a lot of burning and no clear, easy, simple way to end the infestation.  Start somewhere and don't stop until they stop killing, even outright murdering, vets.  And hating us just for being vets.

Anyway, so I can't just let it, I can't make it, I can't let you do it, I can't even just quit.  Nor can I use medicine.  That's a tight rope to walk, but it's what I have.  I'll do what I can with what I have.  This time, anyway, it looks like it's working... for now.  It's less tight all the wise around.  I am able to cut the swelling, keeping it from getting probably no more than half what it had been getting (over typical), and then it is only swollen for shorter times.  The socks I initially ordered may be too small, I hope.  I'll know shortly.  I won't say I was in a perfectly right state of mind for doing fiddly sizing work, still wouldn't swear to it.  But, then, when are we ever sure about ourselves, truly?  The young seem to think so, my gen, when young, knew better, just... well... it had to be done so it got done.  Funny though, more of my gen died than the gen before us, even though there were far fewer of us.  Our parents didn't build in a safety valve of numbers... knowing better of course.

Oh?  The snow?  Not down in the valley, unless it drifts down and melts.  It was on the peaks.  Yeah, you can smell the snow there, from here, especially when there will be a lot of melt.  A dusting, is what my nose imagined.  No, I still don't believe it.  Now I am curious though.  I hate betting with my tongue and site in spite of knowing I almost certainly have to lose.  Meh, oh well.  It's done, just clarifying.

Hmm... reminds me... need to clarify more butter.  Just a few sticks at a time, in a pint jar, or too much goes bad.  Could put it in the fridge but then it is a bear to use.  Messy stuff, but very good for frying and a few other things.  If you make waffles or pancakes?  There you go.  Fry eggs?  Bingo.  It's even good to get a richer sear on pan fried steaks.  Not bad for fish or other seafood.

Learning to drink less is a trick.  Too little and you have what I have today.  Too much and swelling is a bit worse.  Though neither seems to be all that different, shades of difference, not a sea change in sight.  But, better, with some thought, in either case.  Later.