Not bad, again.

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I am getting used to the heat.  Even getting out just a bit wasn't bad.  It wasn't a big day, just a ride and snack, then back.  And, yet, in the 80's, fully dressed, not bad.  Yeah, I got the trash out, the barrel back.  No shower today, but I've had several in the last few days.

I'm doing well keeping swelling in check.  It's not perfect.  Perhaps those veins are blown.  I just won't know for a while.  Though that I can handle the heat, fluid intake, the socks, and all... it's something.  I honestly can't even hope for death, it's against my vows.  My vows are no longer just promises.  They are how I live.  Simpletonish?  Foolish?  Maybe.

I was thinking the other day, though...  The written word, the Bible, actually suggests that we near God as children.  For much of my life I thought that was because we needed to find innocence, or attempt to approach it in that manner.  Perhaps it was because complexity, or some forms of maturity, might leave us bereft of the capacity for faith.  And while those, and some others, might have some merit... or not... I actually stumbled upon a different notion.

God, to my mind, started out as the Holy Spirit.  For some reason I suspect that was the first Aspect.  Then God the Father.  Not sure, will dig more if I ever get to a place where I can dig.  However, it is without question that Christ was the last, and newest, aspect.  The pattern, to me, is clear.  He wants us to be as children because... that is where He is going.  It is less a stricture on us as a roadmap of sorts of where to find Him.  Just... a thought.

Anyway... my vows... of celibacy, of chastity (yeah, I put things up that some consider impure... I wouldn't put them up if they affected me that way), and to stick with life until it ends or is ended but the latter only against my will and reason if I am not required to risk soul for life...  They aren't promises, or efforts, now.  Just the way of it.  Cherished, and for good reasons.  Hate the sin, at worst, not the sinner.  If the sinner is unrepentant, then turn from him.  If you do not consider him your brother, or believe him to be incapable of being your neighbor, then do not engage him.  As is, that is that.

I need to figure some things out and begin making plans.  Soon or late I have to get out.  I can't count on... much.  It will be difficult.  Faith, one way or the other, will see me through.  Faith isn't, however, an easy path.  If you knew, you wouldn't need faith.  Blathering... the day has been long, the temps while tolerable take their toll, and health still isn't an hundred percent... of the fraction it is at best on top of things.  Good night.