Not absolutely sure.

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If life isn't the whole, or the most, of the problem.  I'm more sure, day by day, that I might survive.  The heat makes telling how much I am improving a difficult task.  On cool days, though, I collapse.  Hot days just provide fever, or enhance, or even simply expose it.  Lungs are weird, burning, used up, often.

I hope to keep up, a bit.  Some days yes, some no.  Dishes today, a load of them.  Hopefully a shower or bath before long.  Maybe laundry if I am awake when it cools.  Nothing with the bedrooms so far.  I'm just... not sure about trying to vacate the room that I can lock down and cool down, not as high summer approaches... not without some other means of serious cooling.

I have ordered industrial(tm) sized fans, with adjustable air flow.  The goal is to bring a long more cool air in at night than typical fans can dream of doing.  Opening the upstairs windows, turning on the biggest fan up there, aimed down through the vent, then with the other fans and the second... lessor... industrial fan, clear and cool down here.  It isn't just cooling, but getting fresh air in.  Now, as to (tm)?  We'll see.  I thought about an humidifier, just... not really sure about that.  Finding one that fits the bill is another thing, as well.  I would want to be able to add ice, for example.  A pour spout in might well not allow that.  And the size of tank might not allow that, or the shoot from spout to tank.  Maybe a trip to town this week... if I can, if it's not too hot.  The curtains are doing a fine job.  No holes in the ones in the front room.  That really helps.  And Sassy no longer rips and shreds.  All good, for... how far I have gotten.

Gifts of music, from time to time.  Who knows who sends, or why to be honest.  Delivered in such a way that... well...  Never mind.  Call it what you will.  It seems like it fits?  I can't tell when I didn't find it native, like the next one... or more that it find me?  I know not.  I know nothing, less.


As to Gilgamesh, he was known by a number of names.  Some which I claim.  Stories go astray, through time, epochs really.  Even if one should have known that face, or the main one, in the mirror, from those stories... memory would not perfectly serve.  Though some things would, or at least might be kindled by the tales.  Perhaps not actually the same name?  I have claimed Woden, but not Oden, nor Santa Clause... in spite of the fact that both are said to be the one, or... aspects, times, or shapes.  Woden was never St. Nicholas, he... I... merely did those sorts of things first, while traveling as we all did.  Never mind.  The notion is that, at one time, I did seek physical immortality.  Nephilim may not die, sum total, but we, as our uncles of light and darkness know the grave, just... not like those with souls.  How, then, to find physical immortality.  Only the most potent of my kind would dare.  Though keep what you kill, multiplied, perhaps taken to exponential realms by... say... a hunter before the Lord?  Maybe, yeah, something therein.

So, I will tell you, as a story and for entertainment purposes, that I killed, kept what I killed, and in the search for more.  More... life... fff...Father.  I failed.  All have.  I would know.  It was among those who might have succeeded who I hunted.  Skilled enough, if wrongly, to be called as a being before God.  No small feat, if no small slight, either.  But, then, we never could... perhaps save some, or just a few of us and now, have been able to make heads or tails of this God thing.  Natural or willful blindness?  Still don't know why He would call.  As some have said, His gig, His rules.  He makes it, He rules it.  Fair enough.  Anyway... Saw that tune and it made perfectly imperfect sense, and the story spilled out.  That's how I'm stating it, believe or not, like or not.

Now that I hear, I know that physical immortality would be worse than even hell.  There is no way to heaven without Him.  All other destinations are bad to worse.

I'm back.  For a bit, for longer?  It really depends more on if I can, and do so well, or not.  This isn't... well, good... but it is something.  Still have to figure a way out of here.  Just not quite yet.