Hmm?

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I still think people are getting the very wrong idea.  A year, maybe two, unless I die, I am gone.  Out.  I am working up the plan currently.  I will be going alone, I have no notion of anything more.  I am alone and will remain so, there isn't a way around it and I wouldn't change that.  Some music could be said to call that into question.  Don't be fooled.  The song, Dark in My Imagination, for example, has nothing to do with a love interest.  It has to do with my fear of more suffering.  Not death so much.  But a long drawn out even worse path to death than the one I am currently on.  Focus on "dark in my imagination", and imagine a leg split open, oozing 'stuff', unwilling to go to the doctor because they won't serve me anyway, never have... slowly dying... barely able to figure out how to get water, food a forgotten thing, mostly... pain, fever, that diseased smell of rot...  That, my friends, is what that song is about, in this instance.

And there is, can be, ever worse.  Dark, very very dark.  You seem to miss the point, and seem to be trying to miss the point.  I'm done here, and with most things in many ways.  I'm just looking for a way out before the way is closed.  Would rather die up there, this way.  Something would at least get a feast, besides lawyers, bureaucrats, doctors, and hospitals.  So... just get off my back.