.
Both up and down. 22:40ish down, give or take ten. About 08:30 up, give or take ten. The sun isn't even out fully today. Though some days that can be a good thing. It was 64 up there all night, which isn't bad, but it is beginning to warm. I am used to 57, sometimes cooler, rarely warmer.
A fit of coughing as I woke. Lungs full again. I am increasing the water pills to three. When I go to bed, my ankles are very swollen. When I wake up, they are better, but my lungs are flooded. I can hope extra water pills can help. Medicine must be slowing the heart down, it can't pump as it had been. Until my body gets used to it, it's just going to be rough. And it won't get used to it until a couple of weeks on full dose. Which, I think will start this or next Tuesday.
A holy day. The holiest of them. I had difficulty getting out of bed. I won't make it to church. I will pray. It is what I can do. I may even have to go on back to bed. At least I know one who suffers far better than I. I do know what near asphyxiation, from lung blockages, is like though too. I contemplate His demise, not just as a means of easing my suffering, but also knowing His sacrifice in all it's glory.
Anyway. I will pray today. Since my cup, as His, will not be lifted, I can appreciate that as well. I will suffer well, and offer that for others, as He did. A smaller road I walk, but in the same direction. Or so it is hoped. Well, my suffering won't be lifted here, now. There is a place... time... where that will happen.
I won't be able to stand for a while, until I can get my breath. I couldn't remain reclined, or I would have. Slept longer, if I could have. Lungs too full. So... for a while, I will just sit. I added the extra water pill today and into the next week, plus extra potassium which is needed at the higher levels of water pills. I can hope it will dry me out sooner than later, and maybe allow me to get back to things. If... the whole process may take a few weeks, a month, or even months.
May you pray well, and be with God on this holiest of holy days. Amen.
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