That was good.

.

.

I usually take two hours to wake.  Today, I just wasn't sure.

Here it is, just about noon, a minute before, and I finished chores.  I started about a quarter to and just finished.  Waterers need cleaned and filled, but that isn't always done with chores.  If I can just muscle through, I do.  I can't, not today.  But I did all of the chores in one shot.

Still, I am completely bushed.  As I was coming in with the buckets and mostly empty waterers, my heart hurt, my lungs were deprived, and I had to sit.  All good though.  I will slightly bleach the waterers, inside and out.  Then refill them with clean fresh water.  Given overnight, the chlorine will have evaporated.  I did water the girls, too.  I need to feed them shortly as well.  Just... so much at once.

Looking at my files, from years ago, I see ptsd is actually listed.  I thought they called it... something else... ptsd, but without a known cause, or some such.  I guess they decided that looked... silly.  Better to not list a cause than to suggest someone has something but for no reason?  Oh, and they don't have kidney failure listed.  Last I heard it was class four.  No suggestion of dialysis, if they... have stopped offering things?

The lawyer suggested that if I can get that, plus the other problems combined, maybe they might listen.  But probably not, then again, since I don't seek treatment.  It doesn't matter if the treatments, as a lone man, would be impossible for me to tend.  They don't care, one way or the other, so long as you are being, even if improbably, treated for your illnesses.

Oh, today?  I will call.  See about setting up testing.  I don't know what level my heart function is, or kidneys currently.  Or... a few other things.  At least getting those tested would give me some understanding... assuming those functions are still available at the hospital.  Though, a mask?  All day?  I can barely breath, currently, after chores.  All day, with a mask on?  Still, I will call this afternoon.

With as many problems, symptoms, and issues listed, they really should be able to do disability.  Any one?  Maybe not.  But when you have four or five disabling illnesses, all at or near being singularly disabling, this shouldn't be an issue.  Not sure why the lawyer turned down the case though.  It makes me believe it is political, and something is put to let them know to leave it alone.  He was... surprised... about some things.  But this isn't his gig, he won't face whatever it is I face, not with me.

Anyway... a bit of time to catch my breath.  Kefir, while I do so?  When I can stand again.  As well, I will feed the girls.  I'd also like to sort their litter, but... I... don't know.  So tired.  Small bits of work at a time.  I just can't do much right now.  The heart is tired, sore.  Lungs are just not working well.  Ugh.  I'd sleep if I thought I could.  Later.