Coffee.

.

.

I almost skipped.  But, no.  I wanted something something.  Not... to stay awake.  I doubt I'll finish it tonight.  Might not even finish half?  Close, so... maybe.  Just... everything is heavy right now.  Except water.  Water is... good.

While looking around I bumped into some things that have been on my mind.  As I lose weight, clothes... are... changing.  But, do I want to buy all new?  At most, not yet.  If possible, no.  But, I don't want to walk around looking like a bum.  Or... more like a bum than I already do.

This first one?  I do review sewing vids.  Usually going with dames, because a lot of the male sewers are gay as three dollars bills.  Which... simply... doesn't interest me.  Still, his vids seemed interesting, so eventually I have him a shot.  And?  He... doesn't seem gay.  Hipster, maybe.  I used to be a long hair, though, and definitely am not a hipster, or hippy.  So...  In any case, I could tolerate his vids.  And, this one popped today.  Which is odd.  Because the last two days I was thinking about looking up how to fit t-shirts.  And thinking about how to do it myself.  So?  Now I know.

And, the other day, I saw this dame suggesting how to size pants.  I won't work on the pants I am currently wearing.  For practice, I will start with the pants, jeans, I was wearing when I moved here.  Those are... say... 44 and 42 waisted pants.  I am, more like, at 38, maybe 36, now?  Maybe less.  I thought I was hitting 38 when I weight 250 to 270?  Perhaps even closer to 36 at the lower range?  At 236?  I just don't know.  Though... with the strange melting shape, it's... difficult.  Especially as it keeps falling off.  No structure yet.  At two pounds a day, it would only take eight days to get to 220!  No way I will keep that up, but... even at a pound a day, that would be sixteen days.  That... might happen.

I may not be able to make those fit.  And, I still would have to do the waists.  But... call it practice.  And... to make baggy jeans... for work days?  If I can ever get back to work!  And, after I get those things done, should I ever become well enough to function to that point?  I'll then do the inseams... hems... get those perfect.  I finally have the machines, and time.  Can afford the threat, and maybe special needles.  And my machines are powerful enough to do these things correctly.  Just... to get to it!  Ugh.

Incredible to finally be breaking through on weight loss.  Even if it is just because my diet has made eating too difficult.  I'll take it.  Even so... from 290~300, down to 236... that's 54 to 64 pounds off, in months... two? four? six at most?  Something.  Even if it was eight months, part on keto, the last two on carnivore and starvation?  That's... not bad.  Painful.  Nauseating.  Uncomfortable as my body shifts and changes and learns to eat itself rather than added ingredients.  But...

Then I saw this one, as a side note.  Something, as a general rule, I have been interested in.  Tech type tactical sewing... packs, duffels, you name it.  Making things for one's own self, you figure out how to do what you want, and know what's in it, why, and if it is legit.  So... yes.

And, finally?  Just... cat... mouse.  I like watching her, from time to time.  Not usually into plush.  But if the plush has the right shape, I've... been there.  Oh yes, I've... been there.  And this one has the dark themes to go with it.  So... yeah...

But... pussy or the mice?

Funny thing is, I thought I would gain weight.  I sort of... gave up on losing weight.  Thinking that, if I only ate meat, I would eat a LOT more.  I LOVE meat!  But, after a bit, no.  And, the odd thing is?  I not only can't eat meat, I... have no taste for anything.  Still not sure why blood sugar is staying higher though.  That doesn't make sense.  Hadn't eaten for days, last time I tested, and it was 125.  Bastard!

Getting a bit of a fever.  I think the coffee is doing that.  Caffeine, after none for... days.  I include coffee as a food, because of the cream added.  Though, it may be, in part, that it is warm fluid going in.  But, yes, a slight feverishness is back.  Beats the chills though.  I hate those chills!  Only thing worse is both at the same time.  How the heck is that even possible!  Argh!

Well... up just a bit longer.  Then on back to bed.  Maybe end up three hours in the saddle before I hit the dirt again.  Later, or goodnight.