Still awake.

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I'm stumbling from barely awake to hardly awake to awake because of nausea.  So, it's... not like it seems.  I hurt.  My heart hurts.  I am tired.  The coffee didn't... do as was hoped.  It just caused a nearly flushing nausea, with the sweats from it.  Not... feverishness.  Just... that flush feeling.

I have been gaming, to keep my mind occupied.  And, I had packages arrive today.  Perhaps just a dream, that I will ever get to sewing the jeans, taking them in in places, and such?  But... I... live on, perhaps in, dreams.  So I ordered the needles I might need.  From 90/14 to 110/18 sizes, plus one in the middle.  Or... one batch.

If I can get to it, I have everything from standard jean needles, to heavier leather and upholstery needles.  Not a huge number of most of them, but a at least fifteen of each type.  If one really does stand out, as superior, I may order extra.  I have a lot of jeans to work with, on.  Both ones that were fitting me at 280 to 300, and those which were fitting me at 250 to 270.  None of those will fit, rightly, currently.  Oh, and the ones I was wearing when I arrived, and weighed more like 320.  

I'll start with the largest ones.  If I ever get going.  I will use every technique I have seen.  Decide which ones seem to work the best for my size and shape, and according to my eyes.  Then use those in the second tier out.  Then, eventually perhaps, begin working on pants that mostly fit.  Just need a bit of minor shaping, sizing.

Or... not.  And, as with many of my dreams, they will just... gather dust.  But I... have to hope.  I have to buy with hope, goals.

Oh, but I sure hurt.  It's bedtime time.  I'll sleep the weekend, and hope to be up and out by Monday, or Tuesday.  Or... Wednesday?  Ugh.  Goodnight.