Oh, so they say?

.

.

A new pandemic?  A real one?  It wouldn't surprise me if the part of .gov which is being audited, fired, and put back under control or out of grift business would try to do something big to... change their fate.  One of those things might be to release something else, or something actually.  I still have seen no evidence that covid was anything other than the flu.

This time, they say, something else it out, in China.  And, from the same place the original covid was said to have been released.  Me?  Whatever.  It wouldn't, at all, surprise me if they did release something real.  Though, too, it may just be illness caused by the vaxxes over there, the rooster coming home to roost.  With so many people now immuno-suppressed, who knows what is going on.  How many shots did they force on their people?  Seriously, they had roadblocks and people couldn't even grocery shop without standing in line to be "tested", then given a shot if the fake tests "proved" they had covid.  How long were their shots considered "good"... a week, a month?  How long were they doing that?  Two years?  If you thought our clot shots were bad, can only imagine theirs.

A reasonable sleep.

.

.

Down a bout after 17:00, closer to the quarter after?  Awake at 5:09, or so.  I usually begin waking earlier, sometimes much earlier.  The last few night, I think, waking started within a half hour of waking.  That's... a better thing.  I hate when I begin waking in the middle of the night, and have to fight it to stay down.

My hand still hurts.  No bruise has surfaced.  Though it might just have been the bones in the hand that got dinged.  That miter saw has absolutely zero give, if you accidently backhand it.  Solid.  I don't remember doing that, but, when fussing with things that weight a lot, focus shifts to balancing, and lifting, the weight.  So other things can slip by without being noticed.  This must have been one of them.  All good, it's... slowly improving.

Rough, really.

.

.

Mostly just tired.  Two or three days of working with the miter saw and stand.  On, off, to sort the squaring.  On, off, to tighten things under, again, because the square came undone.  Off to put the handles on, only to find no handles.  I keep looking.  I keep not finding.  Just in case I simply misplaced them.  Nope.  No handles.  I'll have to take the saw off, when I get them, as I don't think they will fit in without taking them off.

I'm not sure how good the handles are, without having them to test.  But... I think I want them.  Besides, they are supposed to be with this.  I paid for them, I want them.

Woodworking, and other, considerations.

.

.

While I am trying to wake up, if doing very little bits here and there, I have been looking and imagining.

I definitely need a work bench.  Could make something very simple.  But space!  I really don't have the room to have a permanent, standing, woodworking bench that would be of any use.  Either too small, too weak from having too small of a footprint, and else.  Just... unsat to be standard, fit, and be strong enough.

A bit of exhaustion.

.

.

I think from the work I have been doing.  But it's a pretty serious weariness.  My heart sort of hurts.  Being that it is from exertion, it isn't a terrible thing.  However, it is making doing much difficult.  I really want to go on back to bed.

It feels cold.  I turned the heat up, but that takes a while.  I did heat up the last of the steak.  Not great, but not bad.  Just a third to a quarter of a steak remained.  Much tastier when warmed through, heated a bit beyond that, but not cooked more.  Since the tea, just more water.  And... that is what I will have today and through the week.  Mostly fasting as well.  I did have a few meat sticks earlier.  Nothing fancy, but it works.

I'd like to get the whiskers trimmed.  Then get a shower.  It's... been a while since I've gotten in to shower.  I'll definitely wait until the house warms up, and I warm up.  The sun is up, mostly clear.  It is up to 10 (from 8 F earlier).  But it wasn't the sun that warmed the place.  Just a shift in weather.  Nothing warm in that sun, not today.  Just a shift in something, air coming in, speed of it going out, upper level events, who really ever truly knows.

I am hungry?  But... for nothing I can eat.  Would like pb&j (all keto) on (keto) crackers or toast.  But even that has been pushing blood sugar higher.  So... no more.  It was 141 fasting, when I woke up... before tea or even water.  But is down to 118 currently.  PB&J would raise that... twenty to fifty points, if it would come down quickly.  Though, then, it would yo-yo for days.  Just how it goes.  So... I only like to do that once or twice a month.  A (keto) treat, with a lighter cost.

On the good side?  I can't remember how long ago blood sugar was over two hundred.  I think the highest, since I began testing again, was in the mid 150s.  Not fantastic.  And, the month/three month are pretty much the same.  Though I have only been testing for about a month and a half, so the month and three month will be closer.  Even so, 135 and 141.  Slowly coming back down.  A week or two ago, they were more into the mid 140s to 150s.  As good as I can do, coming back from trying keto... more veggies.  Getting back to it.

So... drowsy!  Ugh.  I'm going to check the laundry.  Maybe give it a final spin, with the intention of redoing my bedding, putting on the clean sheets, with the new mattresses.  Yes, I use two.  When you weigh above two hundred, mattresses just... don't hold up as well.  Same with full sized ones.  After a year, even of top brands, I leave a bump.  So, I started turning and flipping, but that only doubled the time, so say two years, before it two become permanently dented (if I weight closer to three hundred then).  Not sure there is much difference between two forty and three hundred ten pounds on beds made for people in the one hundred to one fifty range.

Well... enough blathering.  I'll... see about some things.  Good day.  Good morning, actually, even now.  Ugh... would love to test the mattresses if I can get that set up.  Though not sure I will... trying to fight my way through.  Later.

A better night, and day.

.

.

Down slightly after 17:00.  Some point between five and twenty five after?  Or so.  I was so worn by then that I just couldn't get the last digits of time into memory.  Not... fully.  Up at around three.  Slightly after.  Too sleepy, initially, to know the last digits again.  But it's twenty one after now, and... I have fed Sassy, reset laundry in the dryer to a final spin... used the facilities... made tea and reset the r.o. to spit out a fresh carafe of water, and... a few other things?  But, I know I was definitely awake after three.  So... yeah...  Probably rather early after three.

My arms are ever so slightly tight.  From the work with the saw the last few days.  Strangely, no where near as tight as I thought they would be.  I figured they would be screaming.  Nope, just mumbling, more gladly than not.  The only portion of my anatomy which seems a bit truly sore are my torso muscles.  From bracing and using those to move the weight laterally?  Or such.  Still even that?  I'll take it.

Rough.

.

.

I did get the miter saw back on the stand, after getting the under parts tightened.  Then tightening the connections from the saw to that.  Tight enough that I can wheel it around without it falling off.  That was harsh.  I kept looking for the handles, hoping I would find them somewhere.  Nope, they really just aren't here.  I did put the stopper bar in, and angled it sideways, so the weight, center of mass, were more balanced.

Then on to watching a movie.  The new Nosferatu.  I like the new television, and soundbar.  It is good to be able to hear the voices, even on a lower volume.  But it sure booms.  The bass, rear speakers, and the bar, plus the tv since they are the same brand so it adds in the televisions speakers to it really is surround.

Well?

.

.

Laundry was started.  Some of the steak eaten.  Sassy was fed.  And I did get the saw on the stand, but realized there were other parts.  Problem?  The parts were for handles... handles that didn't arrive in the packaging.  So... I called.  Surprised they answered.

After figuring out their system, so I didn't have to talk to a "computer", I got to where they would call me back, without losing my place?  Or, the wait was a minute.  So, I went with the call back option.  No... just... no.  They wanted me to put in a time for them to call me back.  So I put in a half hour.  Nope.  They wouldn't call back until midafternoon, 14:30, or somesuch?  NO!

Still awake.

.

.

Not in misery.  There is that.  Not exactly getting to anything.  Just... awake.  Slightly cold.  I think I'll turn the heat up, at least for a bit.

The hope is to take a shower, since I don't seem to be going down.  As well, to wash some or all of the bedding pieces which arrived.  All cotton, so it should wash well.  Mattress covers, sheets (hospital, not fitted), duvet covers, and... I think that is it.  But several of each, several types of some.  Experimenting.

Back to it.

.

.

Not sure what is happening.  Is someone trying to get into the house, and that is waking me?  Not too cold, but a bit warm?  I just don't know.  All I know is I keep waking up, for seemingly no good reason.  And that is very unusual for me.  I would, typically, sleep through an assault to a hurricane, or earthquake.  Believe me... even the alarms on submarines, if I... had been pushed beyond human reason... which did happen.

And, yes, I am tired.  And this is my normal sleep time.  There is no reason for me to be awake, or stirring.  I'm not worried, about this or that.  I have chores and tasks I'd like to do, but they aren't storming through my mind with panic and terror.  Nothing of great or grave concern.  My body doesn't hurt.  My ego hasn't been pricked, or not in a way that damages my sleep.  Besides, I don't mind being considered less.  I am less.  All are.  Enjoy it?  Well, at least know it.  Sinners, to a man.  No way to escape that, solo.  I know the answer, and humbling as it is, I have taken that once bitter, now sweet, pill.  Hmm... just not sure.

On back to bed?

.

.

It's two to three hours since waking, for no good reason.  Back to bed, probably.  Not sure I can get back to sleep.  Something is just off.  A sense of being too cold, and yet too warm... different parts of my body.  An earache too?  Strange.  I've never had one of those.  But it's been happening lately.  Hmm, something to bring up at the appointment.

Upper arms ache.  As if they are bruised.  Did I bump into something?  I just don't remember.  Or sleep too hard?  Reminds me of the aches from after football practice, when we would practice hitting, driving, the dummy sled.  Not sure, just that it aches, deeper in.

I don't understand.

.

.

I pushed through the day.  Wanting to sleep early, even around noon.  I so wanted to sleep.  But, no, as with the last four or five days, I have pushed into the early afternoon.  I made it to at least 15:30?  I know I made it to 15:00, and would bet money I made it another half hour.  It... always takes me a while to finally get up there, and lay down, even when... I see I made it then decide to do so.  Perhaps as late as 17:00, if I have doubts about that.

In I went.  Easily, comfortably.  Then I woke.  *snap*  Nothing... startled me.  I didn't have to go the bathroom.  It wasn't a sound, or sense, no warning or alert.  But, I was awake.  I groused for a clock, or my watch.  18:30~19:00, or so.  Numbers weren't sticking, just... roughly in there, though certainly within that.  Awake, but why?

Someone seems to... see... remember.

.

.

It was definitely her.  The first one I saw from over there.  She terrified me so deeply I forgot her.  I was busy dying myself, as well.  So, it was more complicated than... just that.  Death frightened me, not just hers, mine too.  Plus... all else involved.  I ran from her, and her memory, as far as I could.  It... wasn't far enough.

Yes, someone knows what I discus.  Did they know she was the first?

Good.

.

.

Cat fed.  Test strips found, but then got caught up in straightening and cleaning.  So... now a break.  I'll get the saw and base together shortly.  Was looking for the knee pads, as wrestling with the saw takes a lot of work on the knees.  Even though I have lost a lot of weight, my knees are still a weak point.  I'm pretty sure where they are, will get them while resting.  Or try.

Set eggs to boiling.  Hoping this batch will be easier to peel.  Either way, fresh boiled eggs are a joy.  Especially really good eggs.  These are eggs you really can't get commercially... truly free range during the day, fed non-soy feed, truly good eggs.  And the colors!  This time there are, the usual, brown in various shades.  But, this time, there are bright blue!  And a few other colors.

A long watch.

.

.

I've been watching this video for the last two days.  In parts.  Too much to watch all at once.  A lot to take in.  And, in truth, all well beyond anything I will ever be able to do, or willing to try.  Though, too?  Many skills, tools, and ideas which could come in handy.

I'll never make a full sized bedroom dresser.  That's. out.  A smaller one?  Maybe.  Cabinets, perhaps.  Small boxes, chests, sure?  But not such a large item.  The expense of a mistake would be too severe.  Still, definitely a pleasure to watch.  And... dream of doing such things.

Not sure when I went to bed.

.

.

I know I was awake at 14:30, and small change.  But too, I know though I was really tired then, I wanted to be awake longer.  And was.  Two, may three hours longer, if I had to say.

The body started trying to wake around 20:30, but I was able to negotiate more sleep.  Staying down until 3:00~3:30.  Still a bit rough.  Not from exhaustion?  Not as in sleepiness.  More as in body weariness.  Ah... working with the miter saw stand, and miter saw wore me out.

Well? Keeping on, mostly.

.

.

I finally got back out there.  Decided to shovel off the part in front of the garage, and redo the path to the grill.  Not bad.  Four, five, inches total, at this point.  A half inch to inch more, since clearing the path in front earlier.  I may get back to that, after... some other things.

Then I started the grill, or hope it starts.  Will see.

More snow.

.

.

Can't complain.  We have had almost no snow to shovel this year.  Maybe two other times, of singular day events?  At least here where I live.  This time, it's more, and back to back.  Which is fine.  It's 30 F out there, so really not too bad that way, either.

I went to start the grill charcoal, but there was snow in the way.  So, I went to the other exit, to get the shovel.  However, I realized the trash and recycling bins were still out.  Hmm... wasn't recycling this last week, it turns out.  Oh well.  Ready for next week.

Good?

.

.

A bit achy?  Hunger, just a nibble of that.  Tired, still, on the edges.  Though I must admit, getting to things is very difficult.  Just... doing... anything seems to be very difficult.

Still, I started a load of synthetics first thing.  And will do another load after that.  Though a shower between them?  Why two?  Well, colors.  Yes, even lighter synthetics will take color from darker, especially new, synthetics.  I saw a good price on synthetic base layers, and wanted to compare those with the merino wool ones I bought earlier.  An $80 price difference.  Though, my guess, is that each will have a better time for use, and way.  I have medium and heave merino wool ones, the synthetics were only offered in one weight.  I tried them on, one set.  It fit, so I want to wash them before really running them through their paces.  And... I had several other synthetics to wash already.

Trying to stay awake a while longer.

.

.

I don't think I'll make it.  Absolutely crashing.

On the good side, I stayed awake until packages were delivered.  Some things have been put away.  A few things are going up to be sorted.  No way I can put the miter saw and rolling bench for it together, and connected today though.  Oh, that thing is huge.  The box, just for the saw, is a four by three by three?  Not as heavy as it looked, if not exactly light.  More bulky than heavy, if some of that too.

Just a bit rough.

.

.

Not quite terrible, or even awful?  Just... not well.  A bit hungry, though with nausea.  A bit too cool, in some places.  And, yet... too warm about the upper body and on to the head, as if I had a minor fever.  Tired, but I can't sleep.  Sort of an annoying situation.  I'll keep at things, as possible.

I have fed Sassy three times already this morning... every two hours, this morning.  I feed her every two to three hours, depending on... things.  She seemed more hungry today, so she was fed a bit more quickly.  Though I'll pace the rest of here meals a bit further apart.  I use a three ounce can, two of them, and give her about an ounce a meal.  Plus, every other meal gets some additional 'hard tack' treats.

Well, improving.

.

.

Struggling through.  I was able to stay awake until 14:30?  Or so.  I starte waking at almost 20:00, but was able to stay down until 22:00.  An hour or two here, an hour or two there, over a while, it is hoped that days can be had again.  For what it serves.  Lately, days have been rather dark.  Not nighttime dark, but dark enough so that it doesn't quite matter, or cold enough, or wet and cold enough, that it... feels like permanent bedtime.

Fine, though.  I'll keep at it.  Rough, extra tired from pushing, but... I like the struggle.  I have learned to embrace the pain, misery, and found the life is better if one just nods to that, acknowledging it, then shrugs and goes on.  It isn't even all that bad.  Just... something to realize.  If one must suffer, might as well take note just to show, the next time, that you can climb back up.  Or, if it becomes that time, that resting in the grave isn't all that bad either.  Suffer, until you don't.  But don't let that get between you and your goals, efforts... as much as possible.

Forgot to post.

.

.

Was a bit chilly, when I woke.  A bit of a struggle waking, and staying asleep.  I started waking around 18:00, but had been up until at least noon.  So I wanted more sleep.  Not sure how much more sleep I got.  Perhaps a half hour, as much as two.  I just... don't know.  All good though.  I... woke when I couldn't sleep more, and laying down when I can't sleep is a misery.

Tea, to start.  And the last handful of walnuts remaining.  I forgot to check blood sugar until after I had eaten, and then tested right after.  Which... means the reading is definitely high, ten to twenty points?  More, or maybe a bit less.  Most likely more, if other than suggested.  It was 132... higher than wanted, but not a horrible number even if not.  A good number, most likely.  All the averages are dropping a few points every few days to week.  Back on track, mostly.

A few things.

.

.

I really wanted to get the trash and recycling gathered and out.  I missed last week.  Though, there wasn't all that much.  Since I haven't been drinking canned water, or eating all that much, there simply wasn't much trash or recycling.  A few bags of each.  Still, it... was a lot of work, given how tired I am.

Gathered and out.  Very good.  Then a bit of a break.

Awake.

.

.

Several hours awake, now.  I meant to check blood sugar, but eggs, tea, and meat sticks... and being too sleepy still to concentrate... lead me to eating before checking.  Medicine is in, down.  Tea has been finished.  Some water down, though more shortly.

Something different?  I had been drinking carbonated water, lots of it.  The reverse osmosis system had been down.  My friend helped get that working.  Then, I have been unable to get out to buy carbonated water.  And, with it so cold of late, I know better than to order it through amazon.  It freezes on the way, and half of the cans pop.  So... no.

Very little.

.

.

All I truly got to, tonight, was boiling eggs, and peeling those after they cooled.  I did a poor job peeling.  But... did what I could do.  After, I ate four or five of them.  Very good, if quite broken.  I'll gladly take that.  I might have a few more?

Well, if I was to stay up a while longer I would.  I think I am going to crash, harshly.  Soon.  Now.  I just can't stay awake.

Struggled, again.

.

.

To wake up took a lot out of me.  I don't know why.  I slept well, very well.  Warm, all night, without being too hot.  I do believe that little bit of space the boxy rectangular 4" base offers helps me sleep more warmly.  Just enough up off the ground, with an air barrier, so that the floor doesn't leech my warmth.  Which... allows me to sleep a bit more... softly?  So I don't sleep so cold, that I sleep extra hard, and hurt for it?  Or... something like that.  Just a first run.  I'll see in time.  Might also help with cooling, in the summer.

Fighting to wake, though.  It seemed like I was fighting all day and night.  The last two sleep cycles have been like that.  Rough.  Now, it doesn't hurt, or leave me completely exhausted.  It was just a rough experience to go through.  Once I woke, today and yesterday, I was fine.  There is that, at least.

Some efforts.

.

.

The dishes were washed.  They dried and have already been put away.  Laundry was given a final spin, so is dry.  I had three items to put together.  Mini projects, really.  The first was the stand for the old tv.  But, first, I have to clear the coffee table, and maybe the end table.  Then to get those in there and begin... setting up, arranging, and else.  Not... yet.

As well, I bought stands, for the rear speakers.  So as to more easily and correctly setting up the sound bar sum total.  That I got to, done, and everything is in place.  I won't work on the sound for now.  I'm not... ready for that.

Up.

.

.

I had to fight to wake.  Brutal.  I was trying to wake up since... noon?  14:00?  I don't think I made it awake until... after 17:00, 18:00?  Some time in there.  I sent a text at 18:05, but that was half an hour, hour, after I woke.  Brutal.  I tried everything to wake up.  I just couldn't do it.  Like wrestling with death, almost.

I have figured out how to stay extra warm.  Wool socks, for hip waders, fly fisherman use?  With liner socks to pull the moisture out.  That has improved live vastly.  I still have some chill, and oddities of temp.  I'm living in a body that is right on the three yard line to death.  That I am not frigid all the time is... something.  A little miracle all it's own.

I am learning how to manage more things.  Cold, pain, thirsts, hunger, and right nutrition.  Would these things work for anyone?  I have to think, as close to death as I am, if this helps me?  It would be a 'miracle' drug of a system for a generally healthy person.  But a generally healthy person isn't going to bother.  We never tend to take care, until we have no choice.  And, in my case, it was even more.  I lost my health, but too, I couldn't die, or yet.  So... I get to live miserably, or even more miserably.  I choose to... do what I can to live as well as possible.  I do, but it's... still so very tight.

I thawed bread, so had pb&j sandwiches, and the last of the pickled pork hocks, for breakfast.  With a fatted coffee.  Not exactly ideal, even if technically keto.  But... it... was something.

I got the phone number for a man who has helped me.  I had a gift for him, a tool set.  Not a major one, more electrical.  But... in thanks to quite a few things, and to replace something he destroyed while helping me out.  It may take forever.  But, if I remember, and stay alive, if it takes years, I may return some for of gratitude.  Some people really double deserve it.  They help a lot of people, for no charge.  He is among those folk.

Oh, and I asked if he might be able to help with some things with the house.  Not that I will, but I may, need some help.  He thinks, so, possibly, at times.  Will see.  Just... lining up resources.

He... hasn't seen me in years.  I almost think he thought I was somehow someone else.  The last time he saw me I was closer to 340.  Now I'm running between 210 and 230.  So... yea.  And... my age.  He... didn't... quite... he may have thought I was joking.  Nope.  I'm... around his father's age, give or take up to a dozen.  Good to be thought younger.  Still, had to laugh.

Got more shoveling when I got up.  Wouch.  It got heavy.  We received nine inches total.  As well, it rained, and got up to 40 F?  Crazy.  So, that snow that came down after I finished was absolutely full of fluid.  Ugh.  Still, I did what I could.  There was no way I could have done more.  So was quite thankful when the neighbor showed up on his atv, with plow, and cleared the rest.  I was afraid it was going to freeze solid, and just become a temporary driveway glacier.  Trust me, I've... experienced that before, coming from Iowa.

Anyway...  All good.

Now?  Some gaming.  Oh, I'll put dishes up first.  I wont' set up more dishes to soak, until after taking a shower.  But there is that.  I... may put the dishes up first thing, right away.  Then game for a bit.  Later.

Coffee.

.

.

Would like something to eat.  Haven't gotten to eggs yet.  So... coffee, for now, will do.  But I do think eggs will be enjoyed before too long.

The dishes finished.  The machine opens up, in part of the drying method.  It's not perfect, but isn't bad.  I'll check the laundry shortly.  Probably run it one last short spin, to make sure.  Always have to make sure.

Salmon and lamb chops.

.

.

Grilled.  But?  I just didn't enjoy either.  Perhaps salmon doesn't freeze well?  Or lamb?  Freshly thawed, from last night.  So they shouldn't be old.  Were put up fresh.  I don't know.  I am not the most pleased.  Can't, won't, finish either.  I had to half pound, skin on, filets, and two lamb chops... tiny as they are.

I didn't salt or else, before cooking.  Adding salt and pepper when finished.  The lamb definitely wasn't overdone.  The salmon, maybe, but just slightly.  I just didn't like the flavor.  I'm going to have to figure out some way to eat those, in a recipe of something.  Keto rice or pasta?  With a butter and lemon sauce?  Or... possibly with keto tartar sauce?  Bleh.

Cool, cold really.

.

.

Plus snow.  For the first time in... a while.  Even with the furnace left to 72, the upstairs got down to 52 midday.  Oh, it was 18 F out there.  I didn't wake up until about 15:00?  Give or take a half hour.  I kept trying to wake up... noon, eight, and such.  Couldn't do it.  Used the tricks that help, to no good.  Too cold?  Well, and dark.  I have serious limits at handling changes in the environment.  I do my best.  Have limits.

The dishes were done, and dry, so I put them away.  I put the laundry in the dryer, and let it spin.  Will give it a final spin shortly.  As well, I'll get what is soaking drained and into the dish washer.

Still awake.

.

.

Six o' five, as I start this.  A bit of work, some gaming, and a blood sugar check.

Dishes.  I got a bunch of things in.  Things I... thought I might end up having to throw away.  And, may still, or gift.  Half gallon jars.  And some quart jars.  Had been using them for kefir... Which... with some thing arranged, I may get back to... that really helps with... the body, and the gut.

Frustrating.

.

.

Blood sugar was 122 this morning... or... fasting test.  I used to be able to bring it down, with what I ate.  Or drank.  Using allulose and liquid sucralose, combined, in a fatted coffee, tea, or chia tea breakfast as this morning.  But, no.  It is going up, lately.  Not... hugely.  Just to 138 today, 145 (or so yesterday), and such.

Now, it does go back down by bedtime, to as low as 108 (so far).  All the numbers are declining over time.  Still, for the last year?  Fasting draw was usually my highest of the day.  Then a bit lower would be a few hours after eating my first (often only, even now, meal).  Then, would lower much more just before bedtime.

Whup!

.

.

Days and nights are spinning.  Up around 16:30? Ish?  When did I go down?  No idea.  After five?  Easily.  But no later than eight?  Most likely.  When you are up far too long, the mind doesn't quite grasp time, or the movement of it, or light, or dark.  It... just... closes down on itself until nothing is everything.  Or... such.  Mine does, did.

It is cold out there.  It must have gotten bitterly cold?  At around 17:00 it was 20 out there.  This is the warmest part of the day.  The sun was out, shining all day.  But cold.  Upstairs was down to 48!  Ugh.  Part of what is throwing my sleep.  Not too cold, for me, just too cold after a warming for a bit.  Change, hotter or colder, throws me.  What temp it got down to out there, for it to drop to 48, is anyone's guess.  But I'm suggest at or near zero, or below, and for a goodly bit of time.

Strange thoughts...

.

.

Videos, really.

Patterns emerge.  I watch.

Not feeling well.

.

.

Not sure what the problem is.  Too warm?  A bit, but not feverish.  A bit green about the gills, as they say.  Not having nausea, just an uneasiness that lightly resembles that.  Weak, as in muscular incapacity.  A bit foggy of mind.  Nothing serious, just... especially as a collection... a bit off.

I'm not sure what to do about it.  Had hoped to get some work done today.  Nothing was done.  I didn't cook, either.  Coffee, fatted... and some meat sticks.  Not much, but I'm not all that interested in eating.  Would eat, if I could get to it?  Maybe.  Yes, something for dinner would be good.  Or lunch.  I don't think it will happen.

Never sure.

.

.

Someone was... is... saying something.

What it ever absolutely means?  God, only, probably knows.  For even the thinker, often, of mortal means, knows little.  Thinks he does, doesn't.

Up, and rather early?

.

.

My days have been in a serious spin.  The goal has been to make it back to morning.  One forty eight hour pull in there.  A few off time wakes.  This and that.  And... to bed by 23:00 last night, or nearly.  Up at 9:30 this morning, give or take.  I started waking around 8:30... ish.  Working on it.  Headache, from sleep being so wildly off and changing schedule so fast.  If one of those headache types that will pass before lunchtime.

Back to carnivore, enough anyway, to lower blood sugar.  It is 129 fasting this morning.  The first sub-140 (mostly, and I think) in months.  Since I started experimenting with more veggies and some keto stuff.  Those things, in any amount whatsoever, just don't work for me.  I have to do, mostly, carnivore.  Thankfully, herbs and spices are fine, salads are fine (assuming the dressings are made from clean fats and clean ingredients), and just a few veggies are fine, if more rarely.  Even cabbage has to be on a limited basis.  But... that is true of cabbage no matter what else?  It's a self-limiting food.  Once, or twice, a month... then spread over a week per head, or such?

Mushrooms!

.

.

Thick slices, fresh, with butter, garlic and onion powder, fresh ground black pepper, and when they finish, salt.  A fairly large amount of them.  I found these larger packs of them, at Sam's Club.  Wanted to try them.  The first group I'll try are white (big) button, the other are decent sized champignons?  I... don't know those.  From Canada, or something?

When finished, with pats of butter and else, the white buttons look more like a brown mushroom, and taste pretty good.  I wanted to see if they are okay for blood sugar, so will be eating the packs over the next few days.  Delicious, there is that.  Next time, I'll add really hot spices.  I don't like that every time.  But, if it works, every other time?  Or so.

Good with steak, or salad, too.  Reminds me...  I need to make salad dressings, of several sorts.  I have cream, cream cheese, and sour cream.  Plus (I think, and rather clean) keto ranch flavor to add to the fats.  And a blue cheese or two, if they are still good?  Will find out.  As well, all the fixings for a solid oil and vinegar dressing.  With cooked, or even raw, mushrooms, life is good.

I'm finding more and more of the rarer items.  It sometimes takes a while.  There is one that, in spite of spending weeks in the area, I have only found one.  And, there are a few from a certain state of the game which is no longer available to play.  Things changed, sometimes in grand ways.  And old foes are no longer available to "farm" for their equipment.  Nothing to be done, but will remember going into the next game.

On top of finding the last farmed items, and finishing any quest lines which may be open, there is finding a few thing which are just hard to find otherwise.  Resources, special potions, and such.  I am getting close.  But, before I can move on, I need to figure out how to beat the final boss in the dlc add-on portion of the game.  Not sure it's possible.  Can't seem to solo it, or do it with the help allowed, or with other people.  Not sure how to get it.  Though, as mentioned, I haven't tried healing a helper.  That... might do it.  Assuming I can survive doing even that.  Bleh.

Big ol' pieces of mushroom... herbed gently, but rightly.  Very nice.  Later.

Or good night.

Trying to reset, regain strength.

.

.

Sleeping when I want.  No requirements, for now.  Just... if I am tired, when I am tired, sleeping as much as I can, and need.  While awake, only doing little things.  From fixing food, tea, coffee, or... something.

I hoped to get a shower in, a whisker trim first.  It didn't happen.  I showered yesterday, so I'm good.  But... for several reasons, I'll get one when I wake up.  I don't terribly need it.  I am just hoping it will warm me, and set me on a better path forward.

Such dreams.

.

.

The first, similar to the last, but... not quite.  Not... quite that animal, mostly, if just as primal?  Of a similar nature.  Even I... hold some things back.  Ah, but clues.

Brutal.

.

.

Awake far too long.  Too much this, too little that, working as much as I could.  Ground under my will, the little that I did.  If that was a massive effort for me.  And... what I did allowed what was needed to happen.  So it wasn't wasted.  If anything, it was the bare minimum.  But, too, it was as much as I could do.

Brutal.  I slept well, though.  And, at waking, blood sugar is 119, fasting.  A forty three point drop from my last fasting check.  A very good drop.  My shoulders ache, from work, and from sleeping so hard.  I have a mild background exhaustion headache, mostly from staying awake so long.  If really, I feel pretty good.

Up all night.

.

.

I was... trying to get more done.  Open the place up, for the tv and else.  I got most of it.  But I... crashed.  Left things so that he could get in.  He called me, and I woke fairly easy.  I have had delirium conversations with folks, before.  When I didn't get enough sleep... my mother, some of my women, siblings, and even walk-up patrol on submarines.  Told I held long conversations, but don't remember anything.

Anyway.  Got to it.  The new tv and soundbar are installed, and the ps5 and blu ray is connected.  The sound is very good, clear, crisp.  The video is more than anticipated.  I watched just a part of a movie, to make sure it all worked, and played just a bit of a game.  Amazing what good sound, coupled with solid video, can do to old movies.

More done.

.

.

Some in the living room, some in the spare bedroom.  Things moved, sorted, tossed.  A few things.  Enough?  I can hope.  It is the beginning of the beginning.  A good little plug into it.  And, maybe, I'll do more yet.

Not sure I can sleep.  Not sure I have a choice?  I may end up crashing, no matter my intentions.  A shower is still needed.  And brushing my teeth.  Then I'll set laundry up to run.

Women haunting my thoughts.

.

.

They... like to do that.  Turn around, fair play?  Or... something.

Good, bad, plus sweet, sour, salty, savory, and umami?  Those are my terms.

Three tasks.

.

.

Maybe four, depending how you count.  I sorted the dishes, in soaking.  Got them into the machine, set it to run.  I have even already put the dishes up.  Most of them?  A few things have me... confused.  While doing that I got the shower ready to be used.  So... a shower is in the offing, before long.

As well, I figured out how to get the hanging rack up.  Okay.  level, and reasonable... mostly.  But, it is up.  And leveled.  It was a bit more work, solo, than I had thought it would be.  A bit warn, so... I'm... taking a bit off.

Wow, that worked.

.

.

Croc's, on, while I slept.  Afraid it would be too cold, and it would have... alone.  So I wore socks, and added hand warmers to the shoes.  Worked out exceedingly well.  I think some of the problem, with my feet, is cramping.  From the cold.  Some of it is from getting stuck in the blankets as I try to keep them, or get them, warm while I am sleeping.  Then, of course, kicking out of the blanket wrap they get stuck in.

I slept so well last night, for the first time in a while.  Warm, comfortable, painlessly.  And, while my feet have been hurting terrible for the last three to five days?  Today, for the first time in a while, they feel very good.  If too, I think some of it was from compression.  While not terribly bloated, I think water had been getting into my foot, and hitting that toe knuckle, pooling there.

A very good dinner.

.

.

While the top sirloin wasn't my favorite, the ribeye is tops.  Normally I don't add spice(s).  Other than salt and pepper, which I add to almost everything.  This time, though, I went cajun.  A bit of heat, with garlic and onion powder, plus salt and pepper... given an hour to brine the flavors through.

Grilling works really well.  The temp had dropped to 28 F.  But the coals lit up easily enough.  I crisped the outside, leaving the inside raw.  For me, that is absolutely delicious, satisfying, pleasing, and nutritious.

I'm not sure I believe.

.

.

But the... notification arrived?  I'm too tired to think.

Or argue.

Everything is in.

.

.

I was a bit worried.  The cost of the items, their weight, aiming at installation so hoping they would arrive on time, plus with rain, and occasional gusts out there?  Yes, I was a bit of a nervous wreck until everything was in.  Wasn't sure when the items would arrive, what would be together, and such.  In.

Two items did arrive together, but the tv and the soundbar arrived separately... if they were tagged as arriving together.  I don't mind.  I don't stand on crazy exactitude.  Just... make sure if it is arriving, that it does or that I be notified.  Everything is in the living room.  Arranged for easy access.

An very odd warm day.

.

.

Raining, or sprinkling, on and off all night.  Not a bad thing, just... it's February!  It is 43 out this morning.  Crazy.  Ten to thirty above normal?  More.  And it has been rather warm all winter.  The rain is good, there is there.  Hopefully snowing in the mountains.  As weird as things are, there is no guarantee.

With important items arriving today, I want to keep aware.  One item has been delivered.  Though whether it is actually two items in one package or just one item, I haven't yet determined.  Four items, I was informed would be arriving together, in two packages.  Thought... that may not be the truth of things.  I could see two of the items arriving as a single bundle.  However, what arrived should have been with another item?  Even if they weren't bundled together.  But only the one item is here.

Not much.

.

.

I did cook the top sirloin.  It was pretty good.  It was a smaller piece, an end cut.  So I ate most of it.  I couldn't eat more, there wasn't enough to save.  Then would have been a good time to have a dog.   Sassy just doesn't eat steak, very often.  Almost never top sirloin.

Oh, about that.  I tried two inch thick cuts this time.  Not... the best.  I mean, it is a mean steak.  But, it doesn't work well at that thickness.  An inch and a half is about perfect, to my tastes.  For ribeye?  Sure, two inches works.  I'll bet it also works with new york strip, t-bone, and porterhouses.  Just not chewier, leaner, cuts.  It wasn't bad, it's texture was just off.  A bit too chewy.

Ketchup?

.

.

I think I have all the ingredients for my two top picks.  Homemade.  I'll have to find and make sure a pint jar and lid are available and clean.  To be honest, I have some doubts about using ketchup.  However, I would like to use it to make barbeque sauce.  Potentially.

Though, maybe with burgers, ketchup would be good.  Ketchup without soy, sugar, etc, etc.  Are they printing the truth as is?  Hoping Kennedy gets in.  Would he... tell us?  Would he fix it if not?  Having someone who suggests he is there to break heads and open the right doors is better than the pfizer made cheese eating crew which doesn't know or care, as long as they get rich.  Choices.

Down very late, up very early.

.

.

Well, considering when I went to bed, the wakeup time was very early.  Down at right around four, up at nine.  A bit before, in both cases, but close enough.  In part because I though I had seen something was to be in today.  Well... it said tomorrow, but... isn't today tomorrow?  Apparently not!

Tomorrow, in this case, means the next tomorrow, or... tomorrow today.  I must have looked after midnight, without taking the new day into account.  So... fine.  I am up.  And, perhaps, can figure out how to get back to waking earlier.  Or... not.  No... it wasn't the alarms.  I turned those off, the last few days.  I couldn't fight through them to wakefulness, so just... let it go.

On to bed.

.

.

Still awake at 3:36.  Rough.  I have several problems.  I just can't seem to figure a way through, or out, of whatever is wrong.  No worries.  I'll do my best.

Food is trending toward carnivore.  I just can't quite hit it.  More meats, fewer else, but the taste of carbs, as with any addiction, is a problem.

Up late, and it is some time later yet.

.

.

Couldn't wake until 11:08, if memory is right.  I did have the alarms set, for six and eight.  I went to bed around two?  Not sure what the problem is, but it just didn't work.  Absolutely exhausted, even now.  Well, not absolutely, just... rather?  Not enough to sleep, not enough to do much else though either.

Even so, I am hoping to get to some things.  This, that, the other stuff.

Finally.

.

.

I got out, to the post, and that.  Then remembered to check the steak.  It seemed okay so got the grill going.  Wow.  Took all day to do that little bit more.  No, haven't looked out how to set up a cabinet, or thereabouts, solo.  However... if I can find a hammer, and heavier nail?  I might be able to craft a swivel point, and, then, maybe put a holding point on the other side... leveling it as I go.  Then... maybe... get that working?  Maybe.  Still, I'll look.

I am planning on crafting homemade ketchup, and then barbeque sauce.  Of a keto nature.  Not sure it will work, but I have some recipes, and some of the ingredients in... some on the way.  Why?  Because sugar really will screw with you.  Those who only drink a few sodas a week?  Cool.  but when sugar is in everything you eat, or effectively the carb counts?  You might as well be drinking three or four sodas a day.  It's bread, breading, past, many vegetables, all fruits, honey, other sweeteners, and so much else.  Just... saying.

Ah, almost?

.

.

Okay.  I did check the clothing rack.  It will fit, so that the bracket allowances are just right to attach to two studs in the wall.  However, I am not quite able to put it up alone.  Further, I found enough four inch wood screws to easily attach the rack.  And, a second rack, which I also found!  Very nice.

As I said, I haven't figured out how to put it up solo.  I will look online, see if there is a... simple technique.  It isn't the weight.  It is a bit the weight, some the odd length along with the weight, and having only one anchor point, the difficulty getting even the impact, let alone the simple cordless drill in, through either the extended rack or the compressed parts.  It's just... difficult to balance, angle, push, and else.  Maybe there is a way, but brute forcing it isn't possible.  Or... for me.

Awake a bit before nine.

.

.

Down between one and two.  I just couldn't get to bed, no matter how tired I felt.  Trying to just stay seated upright drew all the focus I could muster until... I finally... broke the spell?

Sleep was good once it started.  I slept more warmly than yesterday night, but it is already 38 outside?  So it is simply warmer.  I didn't have the door to the downstairs open.  But I did leave the furnace up at 72.  A conscious, if not better, idea?  Oh, but I am no longer turning the furnace higher.  I am starting to keep it at just 72.  Spring is here.  At some point, I may turn it down even to 68.  Though, if I do that, I won't boost it during the day... as long as it is in the mid 30's out there, I should be fine.

One of those nights.

.

.

Awake to quarter past midnight, so far.  Oh, I think I'll make it to bed right after posting.  Nothing fancy, through the night.  I have kept Sassy fed, tended her littler boxes, given her some attention here and there.  I just can't focus to get to the other things.

It must have thawed.  It is sprinkling out there again.  It makes a wonderful pitter-patter on the steel roof.  I like it anyway.  Something about the gentle, mostly irregular, beats of raindrops that soothe some part of my mind.

A strange mix of foods.

.

.

I just haven't been up to cooking, or checking the steak.  Pecans, fatted coffees, tea, plenty of water, and summer sausage slices.  Nothing fancy, mostly carnivore, or potently keto.  Mostly.  *sigh*  I am just so tired.

I fed Sassy, then forgot to check the folding drying rack.  I'll... get out there, before bedtime.  And... if I have the kit, I'll put it up.  I thought I had two, but only found the one.  Wouldn't mind having two.  Will find out before long, if I can even get one up.

A bit cold?

.

.

It's not that cold, by temperature.  When I checked earlier, anyway, it showed to be 31.  It sprinkled through the night, not all of it.  At some point it become too cold to rain?  It didn't switch over to snow, it just stopped with precipitation.  Okay.  Then, as it got just below freezing, it frosted what had been wet.  Nothing fancy, if a bit pretty... at least for such a drab day.

Cream arrived.  Grateful for it.  Some visitors, but I can't really have folk in.  The house is still messy.  But... improving.  There may yet come a day when I can have people in, without any fuss.  Just... not yet.

Oh!!!

.

.

Oh yeah.

My drivers license, it seems, was out of date.  By a lot.  Ugh.  I found this out Friday afternoon, too late to do anything about it.  I wasn't driving, so... okay.

Up and at it a bit after seven.

.

.

A shower, teeth brushed, as well last night before going to bed.  The goal is, no matter what else, to brush my teeth first thing, or nearly (if I forget and go for the walk, then make coffee, it'll... be a half hour after), feeding Sassy her first of six meals (yes, she is a Hobbit!), then clear her litter boxes.

After the shower, this morning, I put dishes, pots, and pans to soak.  As well, I reset laundry and got that going.  Currently, I am bout to get medicines, vitamins, and minerals in.  I honestly wish they did more.  Though... I do think they help.  Just... I wish they helped more.

A few other tasks done.  Quite a lot for the morning.  Wanted to see what I could do.  More than I thought, it turns out.  Well, on with the day.

Nearly bedtime.

.

.

It was up to about 36 F out there, by midafternoon.  It was rather pleasant.  Felt more like a colder spring day than a warmer winter day, if you catch my drift.

I was out to set up the grill.  That is working fairly well.  This time I grilled two lamb loin chops and two pieces of wild caught salmon.  A bit tricky.  That is really hot.  Paying attention, watching the time very closely, and in five minutes the meat and fish were done.

On hold.

.

.

Medicine in.  But no coffee.  Why?  Haven't walked.  Why?  Because I have a gusher of a bloody nose.  I have been trying to stop the flow since shortly after waking.  Before the last post.  It might be finished.  Just... letting it alone for a short bit to see if it has actually stopped.  If so, I am ready for the walk.

Every day?  Well, walking Monday through Friday.  If possible, perhaps even on the weekends though I won't promise those.  Just the ten minute walk for now.  For the first week or two, just that much.  If I can add another block to the distance, super.  If not, if not I'll just stay where it is at.  The real goal is walking to the reservoir to the north of town, and back, in time.  I'll have to drive out that way, to get a rough mileage.  I thought I had.  Three miles out, or out and back?  The goal is three miles.  More won't matter by the time I can walk that far?  My pace, when doing well is anywhere from five to eight miles an hour.  I doubt that, currently, with the limp.

Up... late and early.

.

.

Not the four or six I am working on, but not the nine or ten of the last few mornings.  Up at seven thirty, then to tend morning chores, duties, needs.  The furnace turned up, and the heat in this front room on.  Down sometime between 20:30 and 19:15, I think.  No, I didn't get to much yesterday.  But I did arrange for something that is... vexing.  I'll... tell you more, when it is managed.  AFTER it has been tended.

Blood sugar is being booger sticky.  Not dropping hardly at all.  Two days of complete carnivore?  Hmm, maybe those beef sticks aren't what they pretend.  Or maybe the pickled pork hocks have unlisted sugars added?  You can't trust big business, or even little.  They will tell and print untruths without beating an eye.  It is 164 fasting, and was 173 yesterday and 183 the day before.  As high as 194 about a week ago, the rest between that and 183.  Working on it.  If that was as high as it has gotten.

Still limping.

.

.

Oh, I am hoping walking will help with the limping.  I have been limping, mostly because of that right foot that went bad for a goodly bit.  Though, then too, now, sometimes, the left foot from being pressed into more service to cover for it's brother foot.  I limped the whole ten minutes.

No, ten minutes isn't the goal.  It is the start.  I was a bit surprised that it didn't exhaust me?  Okay, whatever.  Though, why stop then?  Because my foot hurts.  Pulling along on a foot that stings with every step, the right one today, I did what I could do.  I live on a larger 'block', which is more like a block, block and a half, by two blocks?  Or... so it seems.  I don't mind.  I just wish I felt comfortable enough to go further.  If I am pleased that exhaustion wasn't the limiting factor.

Back to it.

.

.

Blood sugar is 173 this morning.  It is time to begin bringing that back down.  I don't mind trying various foods, seeing what I can bring back into my diet.  Finding out what absolutely won't work.  What I have found is if it has just a bit too many carbs, or sweetness?  I can't do it.  Keto "chocolate" is just as addictive as full sugar chocolate.  I have absolutely no control when I begin eating it.  I will eat it until it is gone, and then jones for more.  Which... is why my blood sugar is so high.

Not only can't I control my appetite, and the stuff not actually taste very good (textural problems and flavor is off), but even when I eat it correctly... which I did several times, my blood sugar spikes on it anyway.  It's a lose, lose, lose I will live without.

Be careful out there.

.

.

Some of you are thinking "cute winter boots", or such, is a joke.  If you have heard about it at all.  It is the organized lefts' idea of bringing violence (terrorism) to play against (basically white men) Trump supporters.  I am seeing some of this in action.  It hasn't gotten to violence, but it is out there.

No, I don't wear a maga hat, or else.  I am simply a certain (looking) man of a certain age.  I dress rather plain.  Though, it might be another sort of thing.  My name may, now, be considered wrong, in some circles.

A knuckle headache.

.

.

Going from doing almost nothing to being out and about will do that.  The I couldn't sleep until a bit after 22:00.  A quarter to half after?  Too tired to sleep, if you have ever caught that groove?  When I got to bed I sleep very well.  I heard the four alarm.  Just turned it off.  Knew that wasn't going to happen.  I ran the six alarm through... what I thought were four snoozes, but the last time I messed with it was at 6:24, so... I only dreamed of hitting the snooze four times.... a fourth snooze would have made it 6:40.

I was sure I was awake, or would make it awake momentarily.  Not so much.  Just waking here a bit before eight.  I know.  The timestamp seems accurate, but I had a few things to do... feeding Sassy, going to the bathroom, setting coffee up, always a few little things to do first thing.  Wish I could do more.

Another shower, then more.

.

.

Dental.  I called earlier, to make sure the appointment was covered.  The kidney and heart doctor have both billed me outside of allowances.  A mess I will have to figure out.  Teeth are looking good, gums, all of it.  In spite of... some lack of care on my side *cough* they were happy with my teeth.  Though... I am hoping to improve.

I haven't been brushing very regularly.  When fasting, it probably doesn't matter.  But I haven't been fasting much.  Nor have on been well on carnivore.  Which... for one it usually takes the other.  Or... mostly.  So... back to carnivore.

Sorting out life.

.

.

Attempting to make sure an appointment is covered.  It seems like this one is set up.  Others I have to figure out.  Ugh.

I keep being surprised at what is happening regarding the government.  I really didn't think much would be done.  More just another kick of the can down the road.  With repatriations not just going forward, but nations breaking under the weight of demands... even to offering planes to help with repatriation after getting really smarmy.

Okay.

.

.

Up. after six.  Though the alarms were reset to four and six since I was going to bed at 22:00.  Not sure why I was awake so late, but knew that two and four wouldn't do.  I got up and going after the first snooze, before it went off again.  Hate alarms.  But need them, when they can work.

Trash and recycling out. and to the roadside.  Looks like I may have missed recycling.  Two others don't have them out.  Though... they don't always put them out.  Just as I don't always put them out.  Still, two for two makes it look like I most likely missed that pickup.  Next week, if so.

To bed, but...

.

.

No, I wanted to brush my teeth and take a shower.  So... back down and to it.  Awake now only to allow myself to dry off a bit.  Though it is about that time.  

I have the alarms set.  Though my change those to a bit later.

Dreams, thoughts.

.

.

I still remember this.  Never watched the movie.  Didn't need to?  Or... did I?

Does it matter?

I really hurt.

.

.

My chest.  It has been hurting for days.  A bit more than usual.  Currently, it feels like a stab, from outside to inside of my rib cage.  A bit to the left and down from my heart.  Not searing, not ripping, if sharp.  And rather constant.  Who knows what it is.  As mentioned, the pain has been there for days.  Getting slightly worse, though sometimes going away.  No, I don't think it is a heart attack or such.  Not sure what it is, but not that.

So extra tired too.  But that has been the case for weeks... months really.  Medicine, on or off, doesn't help or hurt that part.  Just the winter weather... dark and cold.  Though some of it might have to do with the stress of the loan, the house, getting things set up, cleaned, and else.  It's... a stressful set of events.

Just a bit rough.

.

.

Mild aches, a bit sleepy and weary... two different things if related?  Possibly with similar root cause(s)?  I just don't quite know why I can't get to work.  All I know is I have been trying to figure out how to do things.  Dishes, laundry, showering, picking up in the house, this, that, the other things.

My will is there.  Every day I make a list of things to do.  Sometimes I make a huge one, or the list just gets longer over time.  Or... after I realized nothing is being done, and give even the though of it a day off, I'll begin on another day, with a very short list.

So very tired?

.

.

Not a question.  My question is why so tired?  I can barely stand.  Something was in, and thankfully was delivered.  It's... more like Mayberry here.  Gratitude can be offered, but... I just wish I could have gotten out, and managed things myself.  So tired.

I forgot to turn the heat off in this front room until perhaps a half hour ago.  I'll turn the furnace off, shortly, as well.  I seem almost too warm.  And, yet, not?

Up to after 20:00.

.

.

How much after?  I think just after.  But, as I realize it is bedtime, and begin... heading that way?  Time can sometimes slow down a lot.  So that what seems like a few minutes can be even a few hours.  Though, conversely, a few minutes too can seem as a few hours.  My ability to track time becomes absolutely confounded.  Though, I am pretty sure I went to bed between minutes before and a quarter after.

I didn't even hear the two alarm.  When I heard the alarm, I thought it was the two.  Nope, the four.  Which shocked me awake more than enticed me to begin getting up.  It was 54 up there, with the door open.  Still, that was fine, by me.  I did use the electric blanket to start the night.  But slept well and moderately warmly enough.  While not toasty, I never felt chilled.  Which... is enough.

Sixteen out there.

.

.

Or was, when I woke up... between two and three.  If it has been following recent patterns, it's probably pretty much the same.  Though... why not check?  Other than it being freezing out there.  Fine.  Nope, it has warmed.  It is up to 22 F.  So, yeah.  No, the sun isn't out, if it is even really up?  Yes, probably up, but cloudy enough only some light is trickling through.

Coffee this morning, higher blood sugar this morning.  Some beef sticks for a minor breakfast.  Am planning on more toast and spaghetti sauce, if I think that is part of the problem?  Or... well... lots of things could be the problem.

Women, poetry, and holidays?

.

.

Well, and some hair-raising terminology?  Maybe.  Maybe.

When... I accident upon a fine telling of an interesting story?  I share.

Not quite nice.

.

.

Better though.  It was 4 F, when I got up this morning, or still in the early dark anyway.  It's up to 18 F, here a bit before ten.  Still, that is rather cold, just better.  Though, if it does what it did yesterday, and gets up to the upper twenties, that would be pleasant enough.

Keeping up on Sassy.  Her litter boxes are really pleasant, now that I can get to them.  Her water is better, as is the water I use for my drinks now that the r.o. is back in action.  As well, if it isn't on my list, I may get to work on the refrigerator.  Looking for old stuff to toss.  Perhaps clean a drawer if it has a fruit or veggie in it that has gone south.

Sometimes I wonder.

.

.

Worry?

Do they actually... maybe... understand?  Or... even someone?

Down before 16:00.

.

.

Not awake until three?  That's a crazy lot of sleep.  Perhaps the very little work I did yesterday was more than I had thought?  Maybe.  All I know is sleep was good.  Waking took... just a bit of effort.  I had the alarms set for two and four.  Couldn't make it up at the two, dreaded the four.  Three... worked out.

As well, I set up dishes this morning.  Not perfectly.  I did order some of those larger busboy pans.  The dish pans I have are far too small for my large pans, and even my medium pots.  good only for dishes and flatware.  I don't use dishes, so much, at this point.  If that may be changing.  If I can get ahead of things, figure out the dish washer... or more begin using it quickly.  The difficulty is that I am just one.  And only eat once or twice a day, sometime skipping meals for a week as well.  So... getting enough dishes to put in... takes time.  Ugh.  Too many, to few, always something.

More and more.

.

.

I got two more bags of recycling ready and out.  Not a lot, but something.  That's six bags of stuff put out today.  A bit of a start.  Hoping to do at least that much daily.  As well, have success build on success.  Hopefully getting more done per day, per session, over time.  Will... see... now won't we?

As well, I got the burger fried, and a spaghetti sauce going.  Nothing fancy, but it should do.  I sniffed while it was cooking, tasted when it was finished... both hot and when it had cooled.  A bit old, but... not bad, or even freezer burn tasting.  Just... older.  And... it is!  Hopefully, in the sauce, it won't be too rough.  It really wasn't even terribly old, just... a bit old.

He is off to a good start.

.

.

Problems, hiccups, doubts remaining, and getting some of this to be legislated?  All valid issues.  But... not first few day issues.  So far he came out of the gates swinging.  And I have serious doubts if he is finished.  Trump is doing very well.  I honestly doubted just about every thing he said.  Still do.  When millions, probably tens of millions, of illegals are repatriated?  As soon as even a quarter of the EOs are legislated, and have faced courts?  We'll revisit.

Not much to be done if this was it.  The deal has been struck, the president is alive and in place.  Well, nothing positive can be done.  Was happy to see he took the swearing in to indoors.  I truly worried he would let his hubris get him shot.  Even though I don't believe, per se, I have hope.

A bit of a surprise.

.

.

Trash, the two bins needing sorted anyway, were finished filling then taken on out.  As well,  while at it, I collected two bags of recycling and got those out.  Nothing fancy, but it is something.

Then I started on pots and pans, for cooking anyway.  The burger smelled good.  Will find out while frying it.  If that proves out as well, I'll be able to make spaghetti meat sauce.  Otherwise I'll toss that, and just wait for fresher burger to thaw.  I also did find a larger stock pot, clean, for making the "pasta".

So hungry.

.

.

The place is a mess.  Not sure what is available.  Not sure I can cook.  There is burger, if it is any good?  And, I'd like to make spaghetti, with the new type of noodles which are supposed to be low carb.  Need to test those.  But... would have to cook the sauce, and find a pot big enough to cook the spaghetti in.  Or is one ready?  Ugh.

Tired in a very strange way.  It is still cool, cold actually, at 7 F out there.  The sun has been up.  It just doesn't matter.  Warm in here.  Between the hot water bottle, furnace, electric heater, and hand warmer packets, oh and a cap I am wearing as it cooled off so much, I am doing fairly well.  Other than extra exhaustion.

Almost to a step now.

.

.

Down around 19:00, again.  Up at two.  But, this time, I have the alarms set for two and four.  Now to put the breaks on, if possible.  I've got two to four hours of skid time.  Will be attempting to get back to days.  And so it starts.  It'll... last as long as it does.  

I has warmed up out there.  Earlier (the actual morning, after sunup), it got up to 4 degrees.  Almost a warm spell.  But this early dark morning?  It's way up, to 8 degrees F!  I'm thinking about a sun tanning session.  Drats, I don't have a thing to wear.  And... that would be cruel and unusual punishment... to my neighbors.  Oh well.

Well, it's about bedtime.

.

.

I did warm, finally.  And stayed warm most of the day.  So much so I turned the heat off in this front room, and a few hours later reduced the furnace.  To 66?  Maybe not, but did kick it down.  Now I'll turn it down much more.  Oh, and with it being so cold out, I opened the door to the upstairs, in hopes it will warm a bit.  Will leave it open.

No more food, or drink.  Water, but that doesn't count.  And not much of it.  Oh, wait, I did have some potted corned beef on crackers.  Blood sugar dropped down to 107, from a fasting high of 148.  A forty one point drop is nice.  Sure, I shouldn't go off keto, let alone carnivore.  But some days... it will happen.

It's struggling to warm in here.

.

.

The furnace is up a bit warmer.  The electric heating in here is a touch higher.  I have had a fatted coffee and a tea and chia seed breakfast to help warm me.  Am dressed warmly.  Am using the hand warmers, mostly keeping them in my pockets.  Hmm, though you know?  With my hands warm, and pockets a bit too toasty?  I just put them in my croc's.  With socks on...  Yes, laugh.  I'll take warm and socks over bare and frigid... if it only helps a bit.

Oh, and I almost always wear socks, anymore, for another reason.  When leaving my legs bare, the old wound started coming back.  Got scaly.  Couldn't seem to get that to heal.  Socks... stopped the deterioration, but couldn't fix the problem.  Which is why I used sandpaper on my leg, to remove the scaliness.  Right down to bleeding.

Awake, at two.

.

.

I ended up being awake until 18:48 or something crazy.  Sleep was pretty good, other than being cold?  I used the electric blanket twice.  Usually only ever turning it on for a few hours.  I just woke up absolutely frigid.  Ah, it was 50 up there.  Near me.  The coldest nights, this year, so far, that I have seen, have been 54, usually closer to 57.  If I forget to shunt the furnace, it can get to 61.  So, yes.

Cold outside?  I checked after feeding Sassy and clearing her litter boxes.  Baby, it is cold out there.  Like, as in 2 below in standing air.  Though, checking around the house, there is a slight steady breeze out in the open.  Enough for a wind chill, in the unprotected areas?  I'd say yes.  And it is a colder wind than the standing air.  Just enough extra bite that you'd know it.

Nearing 16:00.

.

.

I might make it.  Possibly even to 17:00?  Maybe.

After soup this morning, and coffee, and tea, I made chicken brats and sauerkraut again.  Not absolutely super, but not bad.  Better, this time, or seemed to be.  Maybe I just got used to it?

Right.

.

.

That was a lot of cat litter.  But, finally, got the litter boxes emptied, and that out to the bin, then the bin out to the roadside.  About killed me.  I... have gotten weak.  Still, all good.  As well, I reset the best litter boxes.  I am considering keeping all three in play now?  Or just two?  If I keep up on them, they aren't too bad.  Though, perhaps three would just be too much to juggle?  I'm... thinking.

I enjoyed the last of the soup, and coffee.  Water until just a bit ago, then I went in for tea.  I played the game a bit.  But... ran out of steam for even that.  So went to reading, looking, listening.

Midnight waking time, again.

.

.

So be it.  Sleep was good.  Waking was easy enough.  Not a bad world, or time.  Well, no pain anyway.  A bit sleepy, weary, even exhausted.  I can't play games all that long.  I just... burn out after a half hour or so.  Mostly just drifting around the internet, looking for something.

I was glad to see Trump moved the swearing in ceremony to a safer venue.  If... he actually did that.  Difficult to know.  Wiser than I thought, if so.  He really is a showman.  Perhaps having a public ear piercing taught him something, and maybe allowed him to understand that his security wasn't... his.  Oh, they would have cried over the spilled milk, if he had died.  But... either were chosen for their incompetence, or were in on the gig.  Still, indoors.  Good.  And, probably well out of the zone intended.  How many democrats were going to be in attendance?  Jews?  Can I see your hand, friend?  Just... curious.

Nothing.

.

.

Nothing  done.  I have made it awake to 15:00, or just about.  By the time I close up shop and get to bed, it will be that or after.  Fancy?  Maybe not.  But it's... a bit more than yesterday.  Even haven awaken around midnight, was it?  Not a long day.  Given my state, the weather, and else, it is good.

As warm as the temp is, in the house?  I feel cool to cold.  Not sure what the problem is.  It was 20 out there around sunup, or sunup plus a few hours.  Between the sun hitting the roof, and electric heating, this front room is up to over 81.  This is as close to a sun room as I have in the house.  I think that is a part of it.

A new way.

.

.

I have a horrible time trying to make omelets.  Why?  I don't know.  I have tried to make them in cast, in stainless, and in high carbon pans.  I have attempted to use the flattop griddle.  Well, I think that is every way I have tried.  Very unsuccessfully.  I end up just... calling them scrambled eggs, and trying to removed them before they more than browned.

I... want omelets.  Especially, with things in it.  Onion, meats of various sorts, some veggies, mushrooms, and cheese.  Sometimes a lot of things, sometimes just a few things.  I really like omelets.  Not much else I can do about it, I thought.

Down at...

.

.

I think 14:00~15:00?  About then.  Right in there.  I didn't want to go to bed so early, wanted to push through at least to 17:00.  Couldn't.  I... pushed... ten minutes after checking time, and thinking on things.  I could not stay awake a moment longer.

Sleep was very good.  Though my feet and lower legs felt cool, cold even.  I say felt, because when actually tested, touched, they were just fine.  It's a nerve thing, probably due to too many years of diabetes.  Neuropathy?  Or some such.  A form of it?  Something.