I had been feeling better?

.

.

The aches, joints, and things, had all gotten down to a low roar.  I could mostly ignore them.  Good enough to get up, I thought.  I figured if I snuck downstairs, and just... had some coffee, relaxed, read, listened, I'd... find a nice little piece of morning.

Things were going swimmingly.  I took my time getting up.  Noooo need to rush, and bumble, bump, or twist something.  Slow and easy.  Nice.  Ah... I made it up onto my bench perch.  Found my underlayers.  Decided to bandage the knee, looks like I lost that during the night.  Slow and easy.

I was about to put on leggings, when I realized I needed to get the bandage off.  A day late is... okay.  I wasn't ready for it yesterday.  Not really ready for today?  But... it... I already got a day reprieve.  And, I was feeling so good, perhaps just... a pleasant slow roll, and it would all be nice?

Oh my G.  No, nothing nice about this.  Just getting the bandage off was a small horror of fresh new pains and hurts that I try my best to forget after the doctor appointments and my own treatments.  Fire and tearing and burning and cutting and shredding and some in bursts, others in waves, and some just... there.  Always... until, after a few hours or days it relaxes?

I haven't finished.  I never do, not quickly.  I did get the bandage off, I did remove the packing.  I'll get a saline dose, to clean it after the shower.  And I need a shower, and to clean it.  I had been planning on doing this Thursday, but the doctor changed the time he wanted this new type done.  So... here I sit, in pain horror, later in the week.

Well... the bandage is off.  I put a temporary bandage over it.  Didn't want it to scab my socks up.  And, taking that off would have been even more horrific.  Look, bloody wounds, especially old ones that are refusing to heal, are... a bloody horrible painful mess.  I can only do what I can with it.

On the good side?  It looks cleaner than the last time.  By a lot.  I can't tell if it is repairing much.  More because the pain was too much for me to... think, concentrate, remember.  No... I don't know.  But the wound looks fresher, cleaner, than the last two times I have seen it open while being worked.  I didn't see the first time, I couldn't... look.  I was more ready these last two times.

Okay.  So... a bit of time.  Then, later, a shower.  I'll try not to pass out, or throw up.  No promises though.  This one hurts pretty good.  Then again, I think they all do.  I just forget.  Odd thing about pain, I don't remember it nearly as well as I thought I did.  I'll make it.  I'll get it patched.  Hopefully by noon, or 14:00.   Maybe sooner, if I... can... do it.  Today, though.  I'll get it today.

As for all the other pains?  They all came roaring back to life, as if not to be outdone.  Runny nose for it, a bit of feverishness... if I don't think from infection, just from... intensity.  Woot!  That'll do ya for!  *grins*  If you are going to hurt, go all the way, boys and girls.  Getting a little high from it.  Wow.

I'll... get to it when I can.  Later.

---------

I... went to do something else, and got lost... forgot.  Then again, I'm having a feverishness, which confused things.  Watching WW II vids, trying to get my mind off hurts, and pains, and such.  Only doing so-so.  Never did take pain pills.  It just hurt so much that my mind just wouldn't... work?  

I may get some in.  Then, if I can relax a bit, go on to bed for a while.  With the wound pretty much opened and cleared, I just need to get a shower, finish cleaning the area, then binding the wound again.  Can't do that... right now.  None of it.  But I am half way there.

That's brutal.  Thankfully I really don't have to do it all at once.  I'll... finish... later.

What's funny?  I would cry if I could.  I mean, it's all there.  The pain is enough, and in so many varied ways.  But... the tears just won't fall.  I don't even mind crying.  I don't.  I just... can't.  I'm not sure why?  Had to laugh, anyway.  Good... day, and night, again.  Later, or much later.

Maybe I get to be the ghost deacon again tonight.  I... liked that title.  Not all that was happening, but... being a spiritual guide, even for the enemy?  Okay.  I... if I have to go there, I would like this.  I will pray for enemy and friend, live or dead.  In dreams, or other.  Amen.