Improving?

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.

I went with it open, save the bandaging, for just a bit.  But the cold was making it ache.  Not... quite as bad, but ache, hurt, a lot.  So, thick wool socks on.  Helping?  Slowly.  Oh my word, that was absolute agony.  Now it's just simple agony?  I'm hoping the painpills do a bit more.

In either case, as soon as I think I can sleep, I'll go on up.  Probably turn the electric blanket on, just to give me a little extra warmth, right off the bat.

I think, to escape the pain, my mind has... been... fixating.  On women.  Not in that hungry needy way.  Mostly.  It's always a part of it, isn't it?  Just... with... fond memories.  In... ways most of you will never understand.  My babysitter... loved me.  A gorgeous young woman, mind you.  At sixteen or so, she had me by twelve years.  But... thoughtlessly, carelessly.  From... the inverse derivative of... my then nature.  Oh... but... a strangely wonderful thing.  There are... darknesses remaining, but... sweet memories, too?  And... desire.

Well, and... just... the big bass of the idea of women.  I... have enjoyed... so much of their company.  And, yet, it was never enough, in any way that I knew it.  To be with them, on them, in them.  Never enough, if... there was only just so much... time... tolerance even... for even being in their mere presence.  It... becomes poison, beyond some point, for both of us I suspect.

Nothing like hurting so much the mind... doses with the good stuff.  And she... whichever one... crosses the mind, and some wires.  My Valkyrie?  I... wonder.  Yes, I'm... crossing some line.  Things are smoothing out.  I could probably be shot a dozen times and wouldn't feel it.  Blissfully numb.  Hmm... yeah.