Nothing doing.

.
.
The idea was there.  Work, chores, grooming.  And?  Nothing.  I didn't really eat, either. Two fatted drinks, mostly plain tea if not much of even that, and a salad slipped in at the end.  A quarter cup of cheese and ten mushroom slices was the bulk of it.  Couldn't have eaten anyway.

Medicine was taken.  I try to get morning medicine absolutely as early as my first drink of anything.  My night pills I try to take by early afternoon or I will forget.  Plus, that goal leaves a lot of time for a mistake, like yesterday actually?  Or the day before?  Late, but well before bedtime.  Memory stinks lately.  Which is why nothing got done yesterday.  It was part of it.  Dense psychic fog.

I don't think I took insulin last night.  So I didn't want to test blood sugar this morning. Habits are difficult to break.  Very glad I did.  At 124 definitely fasting, that is the best read in... many months, a year?  Definitely since back when I could fast.  An excellent surprise.

As well, if it took to the final snooze hit possible, the 6:00 alarm got me up.  It is down to 54° F upstairs now.  Pulling the ac's should help.  They aren't well sealed.  Though maybe it won't matter.  It is great for sleeping.  But getting into and out of bed can be a trick.  Well, and snuggling in, warming up, is a push.  But, when arranged, sleep is golden, without actually being a dead sleep.  I am going to try to regain the three to five waking time.  That will require sleeping earlier, and ballbreaking effort all around, plus naps.

It sure feels too early.  Such is life.  Now for a fatted coffee and an attempt to wake, do chores, and perhaps actual work.  Later.

Down and up late.

.
.
When to bed?  Late is all I know.  Probably past midnight.  Well past.  Two, three?  Awake, a final time, just before noon.  I am not sure if slow acting insulin went in.  Then again I wasn't sure if I had taken last night's pill medicine.  After checking, that is affirmative, so there is a good chance insulin was had.  I best get to today's medicine.

I don't have anything thawed, so food will be... simple, light, and ugly today.  All good.  I am hoping to push it over, get out, and do some raking today.  Storing a bag or three.  If possible, perhaps setting up a bucket mouse trap out there, and bin hutches for them... three.  One big enough for all, plus two smaller ones, so they can have privacy, in case they want to pretend they are married.

I will start a load of laundry, try to get a shower, and perhaps set up dishes.  Too much?  Way too much.  If you must shoot at the moon, aim high.  But first, meds of all sorts, a fatted tea, and to finish waking.  Good day.  Oh, and if you haven't made it to church yet, but are going, remember me to the one I love.  *eyebrow action`*



`humor, not unfunny funny

I keep hoping for a better day.

.
.
Everything is cranky.  Lots of places are sore.  I am tired, weary, and falter quickly.  Even so, I haven't given up.  I keep trying to find means of getting past the problems.  Naps, if I can't get going... More food, or better food and at the right times... medicine and insulin... and consciously trying to keep chores and projects in the mind.

The sun is out, if there seems to be a darkness.  I was down late and up late.  I was hoping the nap would have helped.  Then again maybe it did.  If I can't push to work bu 11:00, a nap will be had.  I will have a fatted tea shortly, and a dose.  Blood sugar was 152 fasting.  After yesterday I am afraid to to go light.  Though that may have had something to do with the drink, or additives, over time.

I keep thinking the stairs will get easier, or getting up off the floor will become simpler. Actually life is almost too easy sometimes.  It is like being superhuman, all imagined save flying.  Then weeks and months go by when standing to shave or brushing teeth is a painful chore.  At least I am not sleeping for weeks or months at a time anymore.  While life has improved it doesn't seem like it, because now I remember downtimes.

So tired.  I best let the ducks out.  Hmm... actually I'll do that after a probable nap, alternate their outings.  I will check their food and water though.  After the coffee and meds, I will decide about the nap.  As is, my eyes are nearly crossing.  I am sleepy.  You would think caffeine would help.  Later.

A rather difficult day.

.
.
Normally I don't worry about the symptoms.  It's just the way of things.  But it seems rougher, is lasting longer.  I will call Monday.  It reminds me of when the lungs were filled a third, only not as severe.  I have no swelling of the legs, ankles, or feet, and have been taking three water pills because there was swelling when taking two.  As well, I am drinking less, probably down to an half gallon a day.  Something isn't working.

I have been taking medicine every day since the weekend slip a couple of weeks to month ago.  I can't even remember how long it had been since I missed before that... months?  I am doing what I can with insulin.  As well, I am pushing sleep and waking, if losing slowly.  I am eating as well as I am able too.  I can't do much more.  My last blood draw was 121.  I just took the night stuff, without testing.  If it did anything, it went up.

Good night.

A crash.

.
.
I attempted to stay up later.  Couldn't.  I was afraid, if I slept, I would sleep for hours, a day perhaps, throwing everything off.  I know it is slipping.  I just, in spite of my claims... if I could keep to a schedule, I would.  I have slipped five to seven hours in the last month, but... it is better than... it can be.  I have done better.  But this is pretty good.

I could not stay awake.  No choice.  So, down I went.  I must have crashed.  After finally settling, I don't remember anything.  When I woke to weak light, I was pretty sure it was later afternoon.  It was, 16:30.  It was an hour and an half, maybe ten minutes more, down.  I had set a timer, right before surrendering to the nap... for two hours.  Sometime less than ten minutes after waking I noted twenty minutes remaining.

Thinking about chicken.

.
.
The baked thigh video recipe was reviewed.  As I was doing so, another recipe popped, butter broasted chicken and just an oddity... garlic butter.  The buttered chicken could have been good.  The idea is good.  But then the guy added a bunch of sugar, plus processed barbecue sauce and spice which also had sugar.  I am sure it would be tasty.  Lead is a sweatener too.  Yeah.  No.

As to the garlic butter?  The only reason for that would be for bread.  Bread is just another form of sugar.  Now, butter baste the chicken in garlic butter?  As a steak replacement treat, once a month?  Sure.  It is a bit rich even for keto eaters.  At least once calories start being, if roughly, counted.

Slightly after dawn.

.
.
I am a bit surprised.  I couldn't go down until midnight, give or take.  I reset the alarms to eight and ten.  I think I woke at six, if I felt too bad to get up.  It took a couple of snooze bars, but the sun helped.  If I were a betting man, my second bet would have been on a ten wake.  To be honest though, I wasn't sure the alarms would wake me.

A long trip, a late night.  Stresses worrying my mind, oxygen problems, it does add up. It is a rough morning.  I am sore.  I am still tired.  Blood sugar is 152 fasting, again.  This morning I will hit it harder, right off.  Less than what I was using, but not the minimum.  It is experimental.  At this point, the slow acting isn't reducing total intake.  It might be reducing risk of a dangerous drop, but I have learned to manage those.

New glasses ordered.

.
.
A trip to the V.A.  The last for the month.  Good thing, I am down to $50 in the bank.  I hope I got that right.  I used the last of my cash to buy a pack of chicken thighs, salad makings, and a pack of mushrooms.  I have two other packs of meat in the freezer, and some canned meat and fish.  Pretty down on everything.  But mostly caught up.  Milk will be caught up, and water utilities will be started.

Foods, first thing.  Burger and chicken enough for several months, plus I will be looking for specials on better meats for occasional food.  Even chuck roast has become a delicacy.  What is cheaper while still offering meat?  Soup bones are really expensive for what you get, oxtail to knuckles.  I'll... look.

I will call SSA tomorrow, and the V.A.  I need to get consults to figure out, diagnose, and perhaps solve the problem(s).  I really wouldn't mind working.  It wouldn't be difficult to make more than what social security offers.  The thing is, I have to be able to keep a schedule, and not pass out from lack of air.  Well, and I have to not have muscles burning and weak after a few hours.  I thought that was the heart.  Apparently not.  Best to find out.

No heart palpitations, but the rest and more.  Yes, we will do what it takes to get a diagnosis.  Stress tests, blood tests, mri's, x-rays, whatever it takes minus the gun.  I must insist.  If I am not disabled, then figure out what is wrong, why everything hurts, is exhausted, why I can't sleep or wake regularly.  Medicate or treat it.  Or diagnose as disabled.  I am not going to let me off disability while I am too broken to work.  Either make it so I can get through engineering school or diagnose disability.

Ugh.  So tired.  Too tired to sleep.  I did feed the girls, and checked the ducks.  The ducks will need fresh water tomorrow, first thing.  It is rough.  Will try to crash as soon as possible.  Sleep well.  Good night.

Up before dawn.

.
.
Morning continues to slip.  When I was able to get to a regular day, I was awake early.  I maintained it using the alarm clock.  Initially, the two times were set at three and five.  That has been helping, if slipping.  First slip was having to change to five and seven alarms, now six to eight.  This is the longest and best regulated sleep I have had, or close to it.  Unfortunately it is about to fail.  Control is slipping.

I woke this morning after the first alarm had run through snoozes.  There are five, the initial at time zero, then one every ten minutes until the last, forty minutes later.  Some days I remember none, save the waking one.  Some rougher days I remember every single one, as ladder rungs painfully slipping through my hands.  This morning was a bit tough, but far from the worst.  The difficult part this morning is that I am still painfully tired.  So tired that waking has flared the ringing in my ears.  Up at 7:30, which is slightly before actual, if valley, dawn.  Oh, and it is right at 20° F this morning.

Someone is saying something.

.
.
Not sure who, exactly.  If I think I know what.  Don't drink and accuse!?  I am back in the closet, for any and all practical or impractical purposes, and literally come to think of it!

Besides...

On it goes.

.
.
Blood sugar was down to 132.  Not optimal but not terrible.  I decided to use 12 cc's with dinner, a romaine salad with an ounce of shredded cheddar and a keto ranch dressing.  I can't, even in good times, afford storebought keto stuff often.  So I use basic ingredients and make it.  It can be a bit funky, it isn't absolutely perfect, but it works on a dime... nickel... penny.  Forget organics, but I never fell for that.

Oh, I am still finishing the fatted coffee or tea from earlier.  The rest of the night will be plain tea.  I may take a late shower too.  The temperatures have been stable, but I am freezing.  My feet and legs, as night approaches, begin to chill.  If I can warm up well, then wear several pair of socks to hold it in until later, it might help me get the sleep I need.  Trying to sleep while freezing is difficult.

I called my mom.  They are getting similar weather, staggered a few days.  But farming is difficult.  Only one field of corn in.  No soy.  Winter is coming and it keeps raining.  If it was just the US, but it is hitting many primary and secondary breadbaskets.  We do have reserves.  Many nations do.  But those are limited, more so if everyone is hit.  Africa will starve and Europe will be left with very few hard choices.

The world is about to get ugly in ways not seen for a century, give or take.  With nuclear weapons, it could go south very fast.  There aren't good guys anymore.  As good as it gets is picking teams based on nations and alliances.  It won't be empires anymore, not for long.  I guess the gooder guys will have their military out of their nations.  The bad ones will be using their military and intell on their own as much as against their enemies.

It is definitely growing darker.  If it hits before I die...  If you don't have family...  Money is already becoming empty.  Land is okay, if you can keep it, and use it to grow real food.  You have to have a sufficient growing season.  Gold and silver travel, but as with land, keeping it is something else.  It is truly growing darker.

If it gets truly cold, colder, colder even than that?  The look on their faces when Americans just take over Mexico, and on down as needed?  Europe moving into Africa by force?  Russia is screwed.  Though Europe would have trouble too.  Oh, yes.  The looks on their faces when northern militaries just shove ahead of their people... while pretending to negotiate?  Even a minor ice-age and that will happen.  This isn't the 1400's.

Right or wrong doesn't get figured in to survival.  Fair?  Anyone who insists on fairness will be left, along with the disabled, elderly without family, and any who won't work.  It is coming.  Is it already here?  All I know is there are darker days ahead.  How hard, how soon... I just can't be certain.

A bit better.

.
.
Still low on oxygen.  Seems like it.  I just didn't do much, or try to do much.  And the ducks cooperated.  Actually, they were already in.  All I had to do was close their gate, and lock it.  Perhaps the bit of sunshine helped.  Then again, I wasn't fighting to try to do things.

Fasting blood sugar was lower, but after meal blood sugar didn't drop enough.  I need to use more fast acting insulin when having a bigger meal.  It wasn't huge, a half a pound of burger, with four ounces of cheddar, on a bed of lettuce.  Well, and half an avocado and a fatted tea.  Tonight it will just be salad and pumpkin seeds, with plain tea.  I did have another 8 cc dose and fatted tea several hours ago.  Depending on how the numbers look will be the basis for the last dose... other than long acting... but that is always 25 cc's unless blood sugar is less than 90.  Then I just eat something with it.

I called SSA.  They were supposed to call back.  If they did, they used an unlisted number.  I'll try again tomorrow.  Later.

A bit brighter.

.
.
The sun is out.  It was partial earlier, if brighter than yesterday at about any time.  At 9:30 it is ~45° F out there.  Pleasant, unless there is a cold wind or breeze.  But the sun really helps.  It is still a warm sun.  A bit of light did make waking easier.  Sleeping upstairs will be an advantage that way.

Whatever is or was wrong made for a miserable first half of the night.  My feet and legs were freezing, hat on and using every method I have.  Now I remember why I forget.  A method works for a short while.  Having a bit of success lifts the spirits for a bit.  If I remembered that nothing I have tried, having tried pretty much everything, while I would understand the honest truth, I would never have even short moments of functional hope.  Even heart medicine and the seeming improvement from it, are false.

I still wonder if they know what, or what all, is wrong?  If they can't fix it, why bother?  If it is eventually terminal, why mess with it.  Perhaps the experiment is a success in that it hasn't killed me yet?  Maybe people live longer when not given the diagnosis?  After last night, and the last few days, weeks, months actually, I realize there are more problems, or the problems aren't well understood.

I was finally able to warm enough to sleep better, probably after midnight.  I am still quite tired.  I woke ten after eight, the would have been second snooze.  Medicine down.  Blood sugar is 165 fasting.  I wasn't sure if today was going to be high or a lot higher.  This is actually lower, a definite surprise.  It took a bit to get started.  Tea is only finally just about ready.  Perhaps some leftover cheesy burger on a base of lettuce, with avocado, and a lighter dose of insulin?  Yeah.

I have been looking for a keto app.  The problem is, they all want information they simply don't need.  As well, the ones you "buy" will update and eventually try to charge you again, even monthly.  I am surprised people keep using these monstrosities. People are paying to be jacked, then literally robbed on top of it.  No app yet found.  I will keep looking.

Feeling a bit better.  My eyes are burning, a bit from lack of air yesterday, partly from poor sleep.  Still, better in general.  Later.

Something is terribly wrong.

.
.
I am having trouble breathing, or getting oxygen in.  Tunnel vision and sweating.  No pain, but some discomfort and a mild headache.  Nothing much to work with.  I took aspirin easier, will take another batch.  I got a shower taken, but that was it.  I was dragging just to do that.  I will brush my teeth and crash.  I am wondering about CO or CO2?  Or other bad air?

Not much I could do.  Sleep outside?  Maybe not tonight, but if I survive, setting up tomorrow?  It may seem strange, but...

Blood sugar was 192.  That doesn't make sense either.  A ninety two point spike from a normal to smaller sized meal of cabbage, burger, cheddar, and butter.  I had a fatted coffee and 20 cc's of fast acting insulin between two and three hours ago.  It only brought it down to 174.  Not sure what the problem is... are?  I can take the slow acting and try to sleep.  Good night.

Sometimes she cradles me just right.

Late, but a nap was had.

.
.
I thought, after waking, that life would be better.  I figured stamina, oxygen levels, and else would be improved.  I woke well and easily.  After a few things, I got right on dinner.  I also almost passed out.  No air and little capacity to get it.  The lungs just aren't taking it in well?  I had to sit for a while.

I did get supper back on track.  Steamed burgers and cabbage.  Well, and a fatted coffee.  Two patties, being how light the rest of my meals were.  Perhaps half an avocado as well.  Then a shower and setting up dishes.  I will skip shaving until tomorrow.  I brought laundry down, but just to the bathroom.  That will stay there until tomorrow.  I just can't do much.  If I do something besides showering and dinner, it will be a quick first hit on the dishes.  There aren't many, and they are bigger items.

It sure has been a dark day.  But it has been above freezing, say in the low 40s when I checked.  Some rain, or possibly snow that melted overnight?  Definitely some moisture left this morning, if not much.  It hasn't been cold enough to freeze the kiddy pool, or even the duck water trough.  Yeah, that does surprise me.

Anyway.  I will keep trying.  Later.

It just isn't working.

.
.
I couldn't get back to sleep.  I also couldn't get to work.  I used gaming in an attempt to push something along.  No dice.  I could only play a short bit.  Sleep.  A nap may be required.  I just can't keep awake.  Well, and the lungs burn without much effort.  I let the ducks out for their hour.  They didn't want to go back in.  I was already seeing stars so I wasn't willing to play.  I used my brain, and as little exertion as possible.

Meds are good.  Blood sugar was down to 139 after breakfast and a while.  I decided on another fatted tea and a light dose, 8 cc's.  By early afternoon blood sugar is 100.  I'll heat the last third of the cabbage along with fresh hamburger for supper after I wake, then test several hours later.  It should be fine for numbers.  Blood sugar goes up while sleeping, even a short nap.  Or it stays the same.  Usually.  Bleh.

Later, or much later.

A trim and a dose.

.
.
To shorten and ease a potential shave later, trimming the whiskers helps.  A fresh blade helps too.  It didn't take much of, but it seems to stiffen and straighten the whiskers.  It means two shorter periods of standing, rather than a longer single time.  My life is down to planned efficiency and extreme limits, and deprivations.

If I can't do it, or figure out how to part jobs and chores, I might well have to go without.  It... gets tiring have to figure out every last little detail, especially with an extra limited memory. Unless there is a good reason for something, best to go without.  So, why shave?  It allows my ego to almost believe we aren't dead.  Or at least not completely dead to the world.

As to dosing...  The plan was 8 cc's fast acting three times a day, plus 25 cc's slow acting once a day.  The slow acting is on target.  The fast acting not so much.  I am down from 20 cc's two to three times a day, to 8 to 15 cc's three times a day.  Although I take it more frequently, I have different parameters.  I just take less, if always with a meal, even if it is lower than I would have taken it before.  Unless it is below 90, so long as I am eating, I will take at least 8 cc's.

I am writing this out, not to bore you but to get it straight in my mind, which should translate back to action.  I am memorizing my programming.  It seems to be working.  And fast acting insulin is decreasing... more so when I don't indulge in sugars, starches, or carbs.  I don't know if it will ever really work.  But, for now, this is the program.

I am still not sure if I will be crashing shortly, or showering and getting on with my day.  But I did, thank you AoSHQ, run into not just a simple, tasty recipe, but inexpensive food.  When I can't think or remember, it's good to have friends... or for my part.  Oh, and keto gravy, which can work for any meat really.  I personally don't believe in vegetable stock or gravy... anyway...  I may have to alter the chicken recipe, can't have sugars.  But I think it is doable.  Further, if I can get a solid keto version of that sauce, I'm thinking pork chops, tougher beef cuts with more moisture and time, possibly more.  I've go about $50, plus three packs of meat and veggies for the month... and another trip to the V.A.  Tight, baby.  Later.

Losing the morning.

.
.
I was doing well, after the last restart.  Going to bed between 17:00 and 19:00, waking between 3:00 and 5:00.  I started slipping so I brought the alarm clock in.  That helped, for a while.  It was already slipping, but as I have been focusing on the new insulin, I have been staying up later so as to test, and snack if numbers are too low.  I am often awake to 21:00 to 23:00.  This morning it was an eight awake.  I will be trying to take it back, but that has never worked before.  It would require earlier sleep times.

Tuesday?  I thought it was Monday.  Or, at times.  I got a bit off, mostly.  Have you ever gotten the day and date right, then lost track.  Then kept doing that.  That seems to be the problem.  I'll try to get that straightened today.  Sure is dark.  I am almost certain it is technically well beyond dawn.  Must be something dark brewing.

A shower as soon as possible.  Tea before that, and brushing.  Perhaps a shave if I can stand.  Goals?  Ah.  A few phone calls.  Duck and cats, per the usuals.  Shower and shave.  Cleaning the bathroom.  And back to dishes.  At least setting them up.  Oh, and getting laundry to the washroom, perhaps sorted, for tomorrow... or soon.

I figured out a better way to sleep.  Now I can stretch full length if wanted.  I usually sleep in a fetal position, but it is good to be able to stretch out fully sometimes.  I apparently don't always need the cap, or for the whole night.  I lost it sometime during the night, but was fine.  My legs and feet weren't blocks of ice this morning.  I tried a different sort of cap.  I think it was too tight.  I have to try a few others.

Blood sugar was 120 at bedtime.  It is 181 fasting.  A fatted coffee and insulin for breakfast.  A bit of time to wake.  Then on to goals.  So tired.  Had to push to get out of bed.  After what passes for breakfast, brushing and maybe shaving.  If I can't wake better, it is back to bed.  I won't shower until I am definitely up for the day.  Later.

A good day.

.
.
Couldn't do a damned thing.  But I wasn't cold, I stopped hurting by early afternoon for no good reason.  I did get the ducks out for an hour.  It really does make them happy.  I also ate right and and well, checking blood sugar.  I splurged on lunch, had a baked potato, with butter.  Just that.

I was curious.  A smaller dose than what had become my usual brought blood sugar from 168 fasting to 119 before the potato.  Four hours later, blood sugar was up to 171.  I dosed, if again more lightly, then had supper.  It was down to 112, if I needed more food so ate again.  I'll check in about another hour.

I steamed cabbage, mushrooms, and the burger lamb mixed patties.  Those were as horrible as remembered.  I just couldn't choke them down.  But the cabbage and mushrooms were extremely tasty with butter and salt, along with a lightly fatted tea.  The thing is, cabbage is filling.  But it didn't last so I became hungry soon.  Another third of the cabbage and the last two ounces of mushrooms saw to my hunger.

I just couldn't think, remember, today.  I turned up the heat, hoping that would help.  Nope.  Actually I did shower first thing.  I... just... don't know?  I know I have things to do.  I just can't remember what, or to do them the moments I can recall.  I'll keep at it.  Good for what all, especially having no pain.  I'll see about the rest.

Another shower tomorrow.  It might help.  It can't hurt.  Later?

Dawn?

.
.
When does it even happen?  Of course, being overcast, living in a mountain valley which is open north and south, in October?  Lucky to notice daytime at all.  Fine.  I wonder if there is a local source which accounts for the mountains to express when dawn actually arrives?  Sure, I could just look.  But... that takes effort and awareness, things not always available.  Why would I like the information?  Well, so when possible, to go look.  While dying, if albeit slowly, I am finally able to be slightly more aware.  I would like to see the bits of the world around me as I drift off.

Oh, the cap is really making life more pleasant.  While it didn't keep my legs as comfortably warm during the day as at night, it was an improvement compared to days without the cap.  Rather than numb or worse iceblocks for legs, they are merely mildly frigid.  I need more caps, however, if one is to be worn most of the time.  I won't always wear them when going out, though at times perhaps.  What, several for day and night, a few extra for wash schedule?  I'll look at several types, see if there are better ones for day and night or in general.  The one I am using is a thinner synthetic.  Other than being a bit small, it serves.  I just don't want itchy ones.

Blood sugar was 168 fasting.  Better.  I used less fast acting this morning.  Less last dose last night, and the final blood sugar was 122.  Maybe it is working toward working out.  I will hold off the call, as the numbers are heading enough in the right directions, all around, to let the thing ride.

A fatted tea, plus cheese, a few mushroom slices, salami, and pepperoni... about a quarter cup of cream and an ounce and an half of the other fats, for breakfast.  I believe steamed cabbage with a few of those mixed patties and mushrooms for lunch, perhaps supper too.  Nothing fancy, but.  Actually, something about mushrooms and cabbage really works.  Add butter and meat, and it is rather special.

A shower, the ducks, a few calls...  I don't know what I need to do.  I just know I have to try to wake and move, call and dig out... do... some... things.  I'll... be thinking then hopefully doing.  I am not tired, I just can't seem to think clearly, or remember what I need, or want, to do.  I may need a nap to clear my mind.  Later.

Maybe?

.
.
Blood sugar is at 93.  Still low, so a keto snack then a final test in two hours.  An ounce of salami, paper thin, is in the oven, with an ounce of cheddar cheese.  As well, six small green olives were sliced into thirds, and the remnant of a piece of brie will be added... somewhere.

It sounds expensive.  And, if you ate for volume not flavor, it would be.  I am learning to eat as the French intended, small, highly flavorful, bits of foods, mixed by flavor, texture, type, with some style and appearance considered.  What few seem to remember is that, even at what was thought of as the height of French cuisine, they were starving.  Even the nobles.  They almost learned to pretend to eat by eating little meals, one after the other.  Flavor was about all they had.

Yes, I am trying to recapture that way of eating, combining it with keto.  My whole menu today cost around $6.  Now, I only ate portions of parts.  Still... I have almost no money for food this month.  Then again, maybe that is a good thing.  I am definitely learning to feast on flavor.  It's not bad.  Later.

Troubled.

.
.
Have you ever worked too hard, to the point you feel oxygen deprived enough that perhaps you might pass out?  Have you ever done that while sitting for hours?  There you go.  I thought, perhaps, being active, doing something, as a reverse psychology being applied to physiology, might help.  NOPE!  I came close to passing out.

I let the ducks out, just for an hour.  While the water can be open in the pool, I want them to enjoy.  However, I am keeping it short, as mentioned.  I went out to let them back in.  Usually they go right in... unless they just aren't interested.  Around and around we went.  The second, going on third time I thought to check.  Ah.  The inner, screen, door was shut.  Perhaps when I  pulled the food bin out?  I have to close the door when filling their food tray.  Usually I open it afterward.  I do think someone goes through, from time to time.  "Borrows" feed, just goofing, dunno?

Anyway...  Still, once the gate is back open doesn't mean they will just go in.  They have become accustomed to the chase.  The trick, then, is to get them to stop near the outer door, think, and reconsider what to do.  Only then will they then notice the inner gate is open and go in.  That about clocked me.  I was seeing stars so thick I wasn't sure I would make it to my chair.   Actually, I don't remember from (I hope) just before closing the inner gate and sitting.  I'll check that and the back door soon.  I've also received a wonderful headache.  Left, high center slightly above the middle of the center of the brow.  Like a spike, but not terrible pain... throbbing, not constant.   Well, and with a drawn gut, as if I ate cardboard.

I have been eating carefully.  Watching keto and calories.  A burger patty and lettuce bed, or cheese and salami with a fatted coffee.  Keeping things to ounces, cream to a quarter cup, and only three meals.  Oh, but blood sugar was up to 166.  I had attempted to cut fast acting insulin.  That just isn't working.  But that wouldn't cause the near crash.

I actually crash like that fairly often.  There just isn't a reason to whine about it.  And I haven't actually ever passed out, that I can recall.  They have to figure this out if they want me to work.  And, no, it isn't psychiatric.  That is the lazy stupid excuse for not diagnosing and treating what may simply be a failing body.  They then just need to admit it is physical, debilitating, real, but unknown.

What a strange world.

.
.
My legs are usually cold.  In the summer, this can be good, offering a sort of heatsink albeit with limits.  But much of the rest of the year, when it is cooler, this is a major liability.  Imagine, though too, having the better part of your body needing cool to be less tortured while the other half needs warmth.  When my legs go cool, using them leaves the muscles burning or in knots.  I take extras over recommended of certainly vitamins and minerals, which has cleared most knotting.

I have been trying things.  Elevating them, from time to time through the day.  As well, adding a pillow to lift the feet.  Now that I am sleeping in a confined space, I well wrap them in blankets and lean them against the wall.  It seems counterproductive, if it has more to do with the heart than...  I can't be sure.  Doctor recommendation.

I put on socks, two pair often, though I am finding that doesn't work as well as wrapping them well, and keeping skin from one on skin of the other.  The thing is, I have been working on this problem for... decades.  It is just that until the last few years I couldn't keep track of my experiments.  Who knows, maybe I learned this before.

Anyway, since the haircut, my legs have been worse than ever.  Now there are areas where they seem colder (can't tell by external touch).  Those spots feel numb, and yet itch like crazy.  My head was getting odd in a similar way... I thought the legs' problems were due to circulation issues.  The head?  Just from the cool of having short hair.

So, last night, I got out what I was taught to call a watch cap, in the Navy.  I put that on.  In short order, the scalp itch and discomfort was gone.  As I eased into a more restful state, an amazing thing started to happen.  My legs began to warm.  For the first time since I have been ill, in cold weather, without cranking the furnace to the misery of the rest of me, my legs and feet were comfortable... no itches, no numb spots, not too hot either.  Perfect.

You have no idea how... wonderful that was.  It was difficult to wake this morning, I was so comfortable.  I'll be working on that part.  I was hoping, lightly, that the cap would help with the legs while seated.  Nope.  Perhaps when I put them up later.  I can't keep them up for too long at a time, busts the knees up.  Still, to have nights, and better sleep potentially back?  I'll take what I can get.

Blood sugar was a bit high before my last meal, so I dosed.  It remained a bit high yet by bedtime (both in the mid 150s).  I took the slow acting  before bed.  Blood sugar is 186 fasting this morning.  Later.

Warnings?

.
.
From a pal.  To avoid, be cautious at least.  If some pals are just jealous of feminine attention going to their friends.

Flirtation or damnation?

.
.
From a woman, as I suspect, it might even be both... within the same breath.

Late to rise.

.
.
No choice.  I was awake late working on diabetes.  Working on diabetes?  Well... I have been attempting to get my blood sugars under control.  After eating poorly from running out of better food, then eating too much of the right food, on top of an unsuccessful try at a new medication, I finally got things in line for a second gamble on the new stuff.

I have been managing to eat better, and less.  Blood sugar was brought back under control with just my original insulin.  I kept it that way for a few days.  I have been spreading my meals, and blood sugar draws, out... at least for now.  Intermittent fasting wasn't working with the new stuff.  So, I ate supper a bit too late, scheduling changes take practice.

So... I had to stay up way late to test blood sugar before risking taking a large dose of the long-acting insulin.  I... don't trust it.  It was better, but only compared to the first trial of it.  I went to bed with a blood sugar of 134 two to three hours after supper.  It was still 181 fasting this morning, with nine hours of sleep plus the time after the meal.

I...  I set it up to hopefully have this weekend to try.  I am still having to use 20 cc's of the fast acting, two to three times a day, to maintain the 90 to 140 roughly requested.  And unless the fasting number drops significantly, the slow acting insulin is useless.  The last time they tried the slow acting stuff, alone, my blood sugar went up to over 500... over the ability of my glucometer to measure.  I have doubts.  I gave it a chance, hoping that combined with fast acting it would lower morning fasting sugar numbers, which would lower the need for fast acting, which might lower the need for slow acting, etc.

There is still a chance.  And I don't mind keto or intermittent and regular fasting (the latter both for health as well as faith purposes).  However, if it doesn't allow for any larger dietary options, and lower fasting numbers plus cut the need for fast acting insulin, then it is useless to me.  I have right keto food available, I am focusing on calories for these few days, and I have two more days to... explore the possibility.

No matter what, since I am having to add so much fast acting, I will be calling the pharm consultant Monday.  I only waited this long because I wanted to be back in control of my diet, with numbers well regulated, then give it several days.  Two more days.  We will see.  Can't say I don't try to give it a fair shake, even if it takes a while to sort out the process.  I was so tired I couldn't think or act straight, until the last few days.  Later.

What to do.

.
.
I can't change whatever is wrong.  I can't diagnose it.  All I can do is explain the problems to those with the skills and knowledge to diagnose and perhaps treat whatever is wrong.  I thought this had been done well enough already.  Apparently not.  So, back in to the hospital.

Or, at least, to various clinics.  Endocrinology, back to the heart clinic, perhaps internal medicine, and whatever else.  My lungs shouldn't burn from a trip several days ago.  My internal organs shouldn't hurt.  Muscles in my legs shouldn't feel burned, etc.  Aspirin doesn't fix anything, it merely, a few times a week or every other week, cuts things just a bit, if it requires pretty close to 2k mgs to move the peg.  Well, and why, no matter my effort, can I not control my sleep?

Add that up, and there is something terribly wrong.  If Social Security is saying I can work, then the V.A. has to help solve these problems, problems I have done my best to get through.  I have never been able to solve these things.  Even taking ritalin didn't help all that much.  A brutal ride, when it worked.  Imagine what must be wrong to fall asleep on that stuff.

So, I am going to have to insist that the V.A. look until it finds what is wrong.  I'll bet they already know, or have a good idea.  It is that they, as vet hating medical bureaucrats are working with ssa to cut vets out.  They have decided we already get enough, too much, as vets, as is.  So, this won't be easy, with two government bureaucracies working together against me... but it's what I have.

I have my pain.  That is all, along with exhaustion.  If I think pain is the culprit... it just wears you down.  Interesting though, that I often enough end up simply numb.  I am so tired.  I am sleeping as needed, it simply doesn't help.  Something is wrong.  They need to find it.  Fix it, then, or list it as a right-off.

Grumpy?

.
.
Not really.

A trip to SLC can cripple me for days.  If the temp increases a few degrees, even when sleep is desperately needed and greatly desired, I can't sleep.  If the temps decrease a few degrees, or it gets cloudy, I may end up sleeping longer, days at a time.  If anything changes, I might collapse into a heap.  Sometimes that will happen for no reason at all.

I am dying, so very slowly.  There is no recovery.  They know it, I know it.  Still, probably for political reasons, they keep denying social security.  I have considered abandoning or selling the house, but rent would be similar, only privacy would be even worse than it is now.  If I am working on regaining privacy.

No, I am stuck.  Unless I chose to just sell, or try to sell, then disappear.  Living out of a pack is a hard thing.  Irresponsible, in my condition.  Then again, living on my own isn't wise.  The options aren't good though, as to living with others.  People are dangerously hungry these days.  Kill you for a dollar.

It's a tough day, week.  I, once, tried to disbelieve.  I failed.  While I too live in a world of pain, I have chosen against pain treatment.  Aspirin, max, if rarely even then.  I know where he is at.  Honestly, it is a lonely place.  And people wish to leave you.  I understand.  I do.  It is difficult to watch someone else die, especially a slow grinding painful useless death.  It isn't a test, it is an opportunity.

The world is going very wrong.

.
.
Politics has always been dirty.  It has always been about money.  Actual open markets, where prices and costs are truly based on market pressures, needs, and wants, not central bankers and central planners setting prices based on politics and kickbacks as much as gambling with commodities, is gone.

Beyond, the forces which kept open markets in play have lost or sold out.  Capitalists are gone, replaced by crony capitalists... socialists really, and outright communists.  Why the switch.  In part to avoid competition.  If a communist or fascist government chooses a winner, that is that.  It is a safe bet, if you think you are large enough to keep your name at the top of the list, then become too big to fail.

When politics is reduced to the left and the right, excluding Christianity, real free thinking, and individualism, and cultural and actual civil rights, politics is reduced to socialism and communism.  And the further truth is that communism, at that point, unless there are external powers which could interfere, always wins in time.  It is the best of the worst.

America used to be the outside force.  Currently we have three political forces.  There are dems and republicans, if pretty much in agreement on most things, only differing in who gets the crumbs and who gets the lion's shares.  It used to be that dems were the socialists as redistributionists and reps the fascists as crony capitalists, once both parties turned against America and Americans.  Now they are both deeper crony capitalists.

And then there is Trump.  He is an anachronism.  A dem from before the party became a globalist asset.  I think there were a few like him in the 70s still.  If most of us, me even as a kid, knew they were rubes.  No one was so naive to believe dems of even the 70s weren't socialist anti-Americans.  Trump?

He's not a... complete rube.  I'd like to say he isn't a rube at all, but... I can't, not fully.  He thinks he has allies, some control.  The only reason he hasn't been shot or impeached is because his enemies are currently using him as a pawn, to be the target of mutual enemies.  It's a dangerous game he plays.  But he is a socialist too, just a pro-American one.

It isn't just politics.  Big business has become either Chinese or global fascist.  They want government(s) too allow them their excesses, help or allow them to destroy competition, and buy from or through them.  And, they will get it.  Until the governments become a government and takes them over.  At this point, I don't think there is a way out.  And, if you notice, they will destroy you.  Yes, they will.

Dentist, yesterday.

.
.
Whiter, but worse?  By some measures yes.  A few recommendations as to ho to improve.  The easy one is to spend time brushing at a 45º angle near the roots.  Oh, I was told that taking plaque (is it) off my teeth is strangely pleasant.  A guy has to be good for something!   Much whiter this time.  Without any actually whitening specific processes.

I had a keto burger.  Messy, but it worked.  In-N-Out burgers, without buns, fries, or soda.  I had my homebrew tea.  The thermos works well.  I dump and clean it at the end of the day, refill it for next time.  I have two 40's and two 24 ouncers.  An igloo with ice, some dry tea along, a way to make tea, and I could keep in right fluids indefinitely.  When travelling I drink less, 40s last a whole day, 24s would do a half day hike.  A light trek.

On the way home, I stopped for a trim.  Short, but not a flattop.  Easier to work with, I'll see how it goes.  Feels good.  Then shopping.  Groceries.  I went a bit out of keto trim.  Grapes and potatoes.  The rest was fine, from cheeses to salami, real meats, avocado, salad makings, and cabbage.

I grilled some inexpensive steak-like cuts, a potato, and beets.  It's been so long since I have had a real meal, I didn't mind the splurge.  I'll back off from now on, after finishing the grapes.  I'll still have potato a couple times a week, but half, and not with other treats, such as grapes.  Still, a very good meal.  Plus, if a splurge is at hand, fruit or potatoes is far better.  Though yams, real ones, would be better yet.

I called my brother, twice.  Left a message.  Called my mom, got through.  A busy, tiring, full day.  I am hoping to get to the post, pull and put up garden hoses, rake some, and maybe clean the bathroom?  Goals.  It has warmed, to the 60ºs, maybe 70ºs?  I'll take it.  Good morning, day, and... whatnot.

Someone.

.
.
Someone watches.  Sees.  Knows.  Remembers...  Terrifies.

They even remembered the Rules.

Wonders.

.
.
I used to think women... what... had sympathy, for well blooded warriors?

I have changed my mind.  It, I think now, is a sort of empathy... from the feminine side of a very bloody hard world.  I am almost sure.  My... sacrifices, besides creating empathy also creates a hunger, a yearning, for the very thing which drives their empathy.  I... see it.  And in ways few men can... a blessed curse.

I see them, here, now.  Showing what I believe I see.  Music to my ears.  Mercy.

Ah, I see.

.
.
Would rather not, sometimes.  Go away, or bleed too.

Up with the first alarm.

.
.
Down at 17:00, awake first time at midnight.  I hadn't set the alarms as I was sure I would be awake earlier.  But that was too early, if more because of business hours than need for sleep.  Although that was a bit tight on sleep.  Just a bit.  I always have problems waking later after a really good wake though.  So I set the alarms.

Three strange dreams, if only two are remembered.
----------

In the first, I was observing the life of a young woman in England during the reign of one of the earlier queens.  I just couldn't figure out which one.  It was as if that information was being kept from me.  She was nobility, married to another, an officer in the military, off somewhere in one of the many British exploits.

She had just found out she was pregnant.  But the world seemed to have just turned against her.  From her doctor to family and personal friends she had stopped being in favor.  When they couldn't escape her company, their cruelty was terrible, and just when she needed them most.  Her family, while they still loved her, seemed resigned to her ill fate.

She realized something awful had happened.  She simply had no idea what.  Had her husband done something unforgivable?  Had she made a greater noble angry?  She had only ever and just been in the queens presence twice, from afar.  She began to inquire.

It was the queen.  For whatever reason the queen had taken a dislike, then uttered that she, the young woman, would be better off dead.  And that was that.  With a casual scant sentence, her death sentence had been given.  It seems no reprieve for being with child would be granted.  But why?  Because she was queen and said so.

She realized, if she didn't die soon, her husband and birth kin would begin to pay.  Her friends might already be suffering.  So she began willing herself to death.  Without suicide, but with a fierce will, her and her unborn baby were dead within months.  It really seemed true.  Anyone who ever thinks royalty and nobility is the way is a fool.  The nobility did similar to peasants.
----------

In the next dream I seemed to stumble through life.  Visiting family, travelling, doing some work including with a chainsaw.  As well, parachuting... if I had to have the parachute thrown to me out of the plane.  How do you forget a parachute?  The main problem is that I was naked.  I just couldn't find clothes.

The majority of the dream was seeking clothes.  I wasn't ashamed, mostly just annoyed.  Finally, visiting my mom, hoping she had some of my clothes, she had a stack of clean clothes, underwear, socks, jeans, a shirt or two, all of it, freshly cleaned, ready to go.
----------

There was a short dream between those.  I was sure I would remember that one.  Nope!
----------

Still not feeling well this morning.  I can't say what is wrong.  Sometimes it feels like the flu, sometimes it feels like I was a seal pup on fur gathering day, sometimes both.  And I haven't even really waken enough to sort things out yet.  Fresh tea is going.  A handful of aspirin will be going down as well.  Later.

Keto bread.

.
.
No nap, or work, not even a shower.  Yet?  But lunch, with an add, bread.

Actually I ended up trying two recipes.  The first one might have worked, but I forgot a main ingredient.  I didn't realize my mistake, so went looking for a better recipe.  To be honest, I am glad I bungled the first recipe.  The next one just seemed better.  I went without cheese or spices other than onion and garlic powders and a bit of salt.

Not feeling well.

.
.
Tired, flu type achiness, a mild headache, just not well.  Blood sugar is good.  I still need to take medicine.  I have had a bite to eat, shortly after waking.  I turned the heat up.  And the cats have been tended.  Ducks, then a shower.  Really, not bad.  I have done well.  It just doesn't seem to matter.

I will try to keep working on things.  I may need a nap.  It is such a good day, otherwise.  I just can't seem to get things to work out.  Ducks, the minor dishes, then a nap.  A shower and shave after, then garden hoses up.  They should be clear.  Oh, and then to make room for one vehicle in the garage... probably the car, as that is the only one I can drive for the moment.

Then?  Dishes and the bathroom, if possible.  Later.

A good sleep.

.
.
Still a bit achy.  Whatever you might think, I pushed things early this week.  The costs take time in payment and it comes out of my hide, or deeper.  It was so easy to work though!  I thought maybe, just maybe, I was getting better.  There is still a chance that is true.  Perhaps my body simply needs to get in shape.  Which is a catch 22 itself though.

No worries.  I am hoping to get a shower, maybe a shave, then start a new day... week. A few dishes starting out, fried eggs to start the day, a shower and shave, getting dressed right, then a time for waking as I contemplate the rest of the day.  I could put the last group of dishes in too.  The dishes I am doing are a few meal dishes and pan.  The others need a long hot soak.

I heard the alarm at three.  Turned it off cold.  I went to bed at eighteen hundred, slept through.  Then I realized it is garbage day.  I don't have but a bag of trash, but it should be recycling day too, and that does need to go.  Ever notice, if you attempt a good conscience, you can't sleep through chores?  Some think that can't be true with me.  They just don't understand the obliviousness that can come from living so close to death.  It isn't that I ignore.  It is that I am intellectually unaware or I am physically unable to act... the latter being the worst.  Ignorance really is bliss... unless you eventually become aware.  Being a cripple is a horror of conscience.

So, up at four, a small group of breakfast dishes set, a spot of fresh tea going, plans for a shower after the first fatted coffee, blogging and waking, with a shower and recycling next.  Actually, I will get the trash to the bin... only one bag so it won't go to the curb... then take the recycling to the curb, as I prepare coffee.  Then sit to wake before doing the rest.  Eggs at dawn, feed the cats then as well, then another waking session until eight or nine.  Then getting food and water for the ducks.

Perhaps I could get the bins set up as roosts for the ducks today.  And maybe put the plow on?  Will see.  A few aspirin this morning.  I don't hurt as much as I have, but more work on the way and it is good to manage pain at the start.  I have to reset medicine too.  Always something more to do!  Later.

Cool, not cold.

.
.
It is in the mid forties.  It was 28º when feeding the ducks this morning, very possibly the low for the day, at least so far.  I was surprised one of the hens continues to lay.  A big golden brown egg a day.  Checking water is the real trick, if it doesn't look like they drink much.  Or bath.  Still, I will keep it open to them.

I thawed a few packs of older ground lamb and beef, the last of it.  I added a few eggs, some almond flower, and spices.  Separating the bulk into patties, which were then grilled.  Bland, plain, but food.  I'll slowly eat that with... whatever else I can find.  I added cream cheese to one patty, didn't help.  Truly bland.  I will try to find a way to use it to more flavorful dining.

I also purchased potted meats to try early this summer.  While technically keto, they are difficult to eat.  I have lightly sought recipes in which to use those.  But, really, they are made for slathering on white bread until death from diabetes or cardiac arrest.  Some of the keto flat breads and pitas I put out to dry, with the weather change hitting so fast and hard, became crackers.  I may try adding mayo, possibly mustard, and using the keto crackers as a base.  Highly acidic too, like most instant coffees... I went with lower acid dehydrated coffee, but it doesn't have much caffeine bang.  At least it doesn't feel like I ate glass.  I'll work on potted meats that way.

I am down to... whatever I have and not much of it.  Not a lot of choice.  Can't turn up my nose unless I really can't eat it.  Although I do have to stay away from candy.  Cream is very good, but there is something about liquids that just don't quite make a meal.  I need to work on sauces and gravies.  I have homemade beef broth, and keto flour alternatives, now to find recipes that work for me.  That would cut how much meat would be needed.  Ugh.

Later.

A good start.

.
.
Mostly.  Blood sugar is way off.  But I keep eating poorly.  Then again, I am out of real food and mostly broke.  I need to do some very careful shopping, then watch everything.  Last month I purchased full size candy bars for Halloween.  Yeah.  But I am done.  I have had three, could have been worse.  Fatted drinks and eggs only go just so far.  Meat, at least for me, is required.

The long acting insulin is pretty awful.  I keep waking up too hot.  That is with going to bed with diabetes in check.  Which also means using more fast acting insulin, if in part due to diet.  I don't want to call it off until I get back on keto, get back into ketosis, and remain there for a week or two.  So, shopping, soon.  Cabbage and a few veggies, plus meat and butter.  Ugh.  I'll have to be stingy and careful.  May have to do longer fasts as well, if I can't take insulin while fasting.

I am not sure when I went to bed?  I think 17:00, give or take.  But I woke several times, getting up for a short while at least once.  I was too hot, internally.  I set the alarms for 3:00 and 5:00.  I turned off the 3:00 alarm immediately, but woke at 4:00 and turned off the 5:00 alarm as I woke quickly right then.  Just the way it goes.

It is right at 56º upstairs.  I must admit to being quite comfortable at that.  Humidity dropped, and that 10% to 20% drop is exacerbated by the forty to fifty degree sudden drop in temperature.  I am surprised I am not suffering massive bleeds, nose bleeds.  Daily, mostly, showers might be the cure?  After a day off yesterday, I'll get another shower in today.  Shorter, if they are going to be more regular.  I would like to get to four showers and a bath, as has gone lately.  I just need to exchange one shower for a bath.

Dreamed of having a call with one of two friends still living, last I knew, from the service.  A man I offered advise regarding staying celibate with his woman until after marriage.  It wasn't perfect, but it... was as close as they could get.  My... knowledge was... instrumental.  Further, I am certain, when things (tm) become... complicated... it is good to have alternatives, in marriage.  I taught both of them, hands off of course, much more than school can probably imagine.  There is science and there is art of sex.  Mix, and that is my area.  Life is messy, clean it up?

I won't try to reconnect.  I will just remember, as well as I may.  Praying they are still alive, still together, perhaps by now with grand or great grand kids.  She was a doll and he was one of the good guys.  People I would like to have found a way to emulate.  I hope life hasn't become... complicated, or worse.  Still, a good dream.  I have known a few good folk.  Best to keep some distance.

Good morning.  Later.

Pretty cool for October.

.
.
I've seen frost.  I may have seen these temperatures, it was 21º at the coolest I saw it this morning... it was 24º before dawn.  But I haven't seen such a hard long cold snap so early.  I will be checking on water for the ducks twice a day, as possible.  Even when it gets up to the mid forties during the day... if it does... it doesn't thaw anything.  The ground, I suspect, is getting cold, holding it.

I have already been out, opened the water for them.  May check three times a day sometimes.  The cold doesn't bother them, but no water does.  They do prefer chick feed.  But I am running out of that.  They will just have to eat pellets... like the rest of us.  I'd love to give them their preference, but this month they are eating, I am not.  They are already ahead.

It must be... I don't know... extra cold out there?  A breeze or wind?  The furnace is struggling.  I can feel the strange extra chill.  It's already winter here, now.  I am still hoping for even a short warm spell but...  well hope is what it is, no more.  It is often the currency for the hopeless.

No shower today.  I need a break.  Tomorrow.  So no dishes.  Hmm, though there aren't very many dishes?  So, maybe, if I can wake and warm up!  Ugh.  It would be good to have those clear.  I really have improved a few areas.  I would sure like to do more, and stay ahead.  Turn my cave into a house, then on into a home.  If... I could just wake, and stay awake for long enough.

Later.

Saturday already.

.
.
With only a few days a month requiring acknowledgement and specific action, what the word "Saturday" actually means.  Paired with Sunday, if to a lesser extent, it means some limits and some accesses.  I am trying to normalize as is possible with the rest of civilization.  Which means, to me, trying to work heavier during the week, and do certain things on the weekend... yard work is weekend work, for example.

I don't know that I can work today.  I really overdid it recently.  Then slept too hard, not rolling as I usually do, complicating it all.  There isn't a muscle group left untouched.  My ribs and lungs were abused well.  Even my heart feels tired.  The only thing not whining or outright screaming in pain, is my back.  Sleeping on the floor isn't perfect, but it has it's advantages.

I worked with a few more hoses yesterday.  All are, should be, drained.  Sprinklers are up.  Wait, there is another out there.  Putting up the drained hoses and last sprinkler should be possible.  The questionable part would be raking.  I am not even sure if there is anything down to rake.  I'll check.  Another option would be changing the mower deck for the plow blade.  The youngling has been doing that, but I... he will be going sooner or later.  I best...  If it weren't for my size, I... even then it is difficult.  I would hate to be a small man, even just my age.  With my health conditions though too?  Twice as brutal, four times?  Size... mitigates.

I went down a quarterish before seventeen hundred.  A good push into the afternoon. I woke a bit after twenty three hundred, but was able to stay down to a quarterish to midnight.  To hot.  Usually I take pj bottoms off.  Socks almost always have to go.  A t and unders or equivalent.  Even at 57º up there.  I have very good blankets.  Not many, but as good as they make.

I think this is my body getting used to the slow acting insulin.  I am drinking plain tea, and won't eat, for a few more hours.  I want fasting to be eight hours.  I didn't eat after fifteen hundred, at the latest.  My plan gives me eight plus an extra hour.  Always go a little over, if possible?

Oh, and something else I am trying.  My preferred sweetener, perhaps, dehydrates down to a concentrated form, which causes a strong insulin spike.  I tried plastic wrap over the bottle, with accesses for the dropper.  That proved both messy and ineffectual.  So, I am keeping to a small dropper bottle and keeping it in a sealable ziploc type bag.  So far it seems to help.  As well, I completely wash the bottle and dropper before every refill.  I am careful with how much is used, and don't use it during fasting... for now.  If my new methodology works, I may be able to use it any time, as it was advertised.

On to waking.  Good morning, day, and night, still, actually.

Rest is good.

.
.
Cats and ducks tended.  A bit to eat from time to time.  Medicines of various forms, and blood checks.  I should add bp checks.  My initial bp test at the V.A. was 140/100, which I thought was pretty good.  They put me on a machine which ran it five times over ten minutes.  The lowest was 114/79, with an average of 128/85.  Pulse was high though.  Anyway, I should start doing bp at home again.

A shower this morning.  If I am going to take one- I should do it right away.  If I can get another shower tomorrow, I will get going on dishes.  If nothing else, they will be started.  Plus either the kitchen counters or the stove interior.  Who knows, maybe both?  But I will keep efforts small.  I really pushed it recently.

I had planned a nap.  Time sped by, the idea simply didn't get remembered.  I sure could have used one.  As is, I either have to attempt making it to mid midafternoon or just crash a bit early.  I'd like to make it.  Perhaps a tuna sandwich and a show?  The lower doses of insulin and new stuff are... so-so.  But, I didn't eat right at all yesterday.  I will give it a few.  Actually, all given, it probably isn't doing bad.  At 8 cc's per meal, it is keeping it between 130 and 144 as a high, other than breakfast.  Actually... not bad at all.

While the goal is several more hours up, I think this is a good night point.  Have a great rest of the day.  Good night.

Better.

.
.
Sleep helped.  I figured out one of the more frustrating pains.  It has to do with the new sleeping arrangements, an angle I can find myself in.  Usually I have been sleeping through it.  But, being sore enough from it, I woke this time.  The rest of the aches and pains are legit, from working too much, too long.  Still happy with it.

A shower before long.  The house is heating.  I like two to four hours of heat, then back down to 66º until the next morning.  That is with it being in the 20º's and 30ºs.  When it begins hitting the 10ºs and below I will increase to 70º as a longer margin, in case the furnace goes out.  The business of living.

No heavy work today.  After a shower, perhaps a small load of dishes.  Maybe some straightening around my chair.  I might even consider constructing a light gate structure for the duck enclosure.  The heaviest work might be pulling the ac's from upstairs.

Eventually, when I can afford dowels, I will add sheers up there.  It further reduces light and heat, and allows curtains to be opened at some times without losing complete privacy.  But... not for a while.  I have no groceries and am down to $300 for the month, can only spend $250, have $150 more in bills, and three more trips to the V.A.  They reimburse, but... at their leisure.  It might be in a week, or three months from now.  So... no dowels.  On the good side, I am only behind on two small(er) bills.  Next month I should be back in trim.  Another slim month, but not this slim.

Hmm?  Well... A few days of better rest, then back to work.  Something is better.  Deep down in.  I will never be unbroken but I am less shattered.  I think I can work as I just did for a few days every week or every other week.  I could be able to catch up in the house, get the ducks better set for winter, and maybe clean up the yard for the year's end?  Some of it depends on weather.  At this point, getting hit with snow and it staying until May, even June, wouldn't surprise me.

Oh, ouch.

.
.
Make it a triple shot of the stuff.  But why?  Did I really overdo it by that much?

I had an appointment this morning.  V.A. pharmacy.  Diabetes.  No great difficulty, being awake at 23:00, the appointment at 9:00.  A shower, and finally got the shave in.    Teeth got hit, as per usual.  This time I used a brand name brush.  Had been using generics purchased in pinched times.  Brand name, in this case, is obviously worth the money.

I drove the Cruz.  It was my first time on the interstate, and in such heavy traffic.  I never killed it, in the stop and go interstate traffic.  But I was so tired I did kill it a few times in the weird city traffic.  Oh, and I learned, if I want to go the speed limit(tm) through the pass, on the uphill sections i have to gear from sixth to fourth.

Oh, the deal was to go on less fast acting insulin, adding slow acting, at a bit less than were I was at on just the fast acting.  It was a good talk.  He likes it when we come to him with knowledge, our own plan, and improvement.  It has to kill them, trying to help someone who refuses to help themselves.  I blew him away when I described diabetes as the strangest but deeper form of starvation.

Anyway... Right.  I hurt as if I was used as a ping pong ball at national championships.  I lost.  Ribs, arms, lungs, heart.  What doesn't hurt is weary, with a lot of crossover.  On the good side it is 15:00, so bedtime.  I had hoped to do grocery shopping, maybe get a haircut, get keys cut, but no.  I did disconnect hoses, drain what was possible, and put two in the sun in hopes the will thaw and drain.  None seem damaged.

I also thought about setting up dishes.  But no, for several reasons.  I hurt too much.  The hoses busted my mackerels, dishes would be double.  As well, as I rest these next days, I will need showers.  And I won't be able to get to the dishes for days.  I way overdid, and today just topped it off.  So, I'm thinking Saturday to Monday before I can work again.  Good afternoon and night...  Oh, meds including the new insulin and brushing teeth, plus prayers, short as they may be as I crash.

Something is off.

.
.
A bit feverish, aches and pains, cranky joints.  Some from working a bit too much, some from... a mild case of the flu or that long term flu-like illness that is always just under the skin, waiting to crawl out and get me if ill otherwise already, or having pushed things.  Yes, I pushed it too hard.

I will take it easy for a while.  Keep warm, sleep as needed.  Food?  Ugh.  Pretty broke this month.  But I am almost out of the woods.  I have some things coming in, regularly, if I am behind on that.  That and water are my final debts.  Next month will see me caught up.  Then to to keep it that way, try to save a bit... in case tires or something else big hits.  It's a dangerous world.  Being flat broke is a recipe for becoming roadkill... or a monster.

After food and a dose, blood sugar was 116 not fasting.  It dropped to 85 just because?  Anyway.  I need to eat shortly.  Definitely hungry.

Oh, a shower and shave.  Then?  Not much.  Later.

Sleeping is difficult.

.
.
I was awake until 14:30, roughly.  I didn't have to push too hard to stay awake that late, but drifted the last half hour.  There is always a risk of insomnia when I begin to drift.  Drifting is that area between sleep and wakefulness.  As is it all worked well.  That part. Again, tonight, I struggled staying asleep.  I really woke around 19:30, but was able to mostly stay down until 23:00.  Better, but...

I turned the furnace up first thing.  A shower and shave, which I failed to get yesterday.  Still, it's the first miss in a while.  I've been showering daily for a while now.  I'll back that off to every other day now that I have enjoyed the luxury of ability, availability, and raw will for a while.

I am sore.  Yesterday was more work than initially considered.  Even my heart is a bit sore, lungs a bit spent... burning.  It wasn't just the one day, it is the cumulative effect of day over day through days.  Still, it was pleasing to get some work in, dig in, and be able to push for a bit.  But I am done working for a while.

The next project is a gate on the duck fence and roosting boxes for the birds, as well as bucket traps for mice.  Then to cleaning the bathroom, kitchen, and bedroom, plus setting up the wire mesh cabinets and standing closet upstairs.  With me upstairs, and getting organized, plus being able to work in longer spits, I really might get ahead.  And, that drill, with various cleaning heads?  It takes a lot of the elbow grease work out of the worst of it.  I... think I can.

I need to get a hair cut soon.  I also need to do grocery shopping.  Oh, and get my vehicle inspected and registered.  Ugh.  Always more.  Oh, and the mower off and the blade on the lawn tractor... if it warms a bit, or not.  Plus garden hoses and sprinklers up and in.  Bleh.  Later.

Done, mostly.

.
.
The eggs are pickling.  I have half a dozen extra for meals or snacks.  I may boil anther dozen soon.  Oh, I tried one of the duck eggs, boiled.  Different.  Very rich.  I didn't care for it.  However it was the fifth egg of the night.  I was a bit tired of eggs.  However, I am almost certain they would make nigh on divine deviled eggs.  An... anomaly akin to me.  All eggs are bottled and stored.  The waiting is the difficulty.

I will pair the socks.  But, since I have missed a predawn nap, I will be staying awake as late as possible.  The hope is to be awake until at least technically afternoon, on into it if possible.  I will be checking on the ducks, feeding the cats and doing their litter, and hopefully showering and shaving before bedtime.

As for any other work?  I kept the stove clean as I went.  But the dishes need doing.  They are soaking, and in the sink since those are cleared.  I best finish those.  But, really, gaming and the internet are mostly all I can do.  I just best take down time.  I have pushed into potentially bad territory.

Blood sugar was up to 157 last read.  I will have something more to eat and another dose shortly.  As fast as it is going up, it is needed.  But I will be watching for a crash.  When it happens once, I am vulnerable to it for a while.  This time a simple meal, before I hit bottom, will fix it easily.  I have become a pro, when I listen to my body.  I was so focused on else, and so sure it couldn't be exactly what it was.

Yeah.  Still, I am doing miracles, dancing on my grave while juggling eggs and death.  What a gas.  Later.

Blood sugar crash.

.
.
I was so busy doing or planning I didn't see it coming.  Well, and I had several eggs and two fatted beverages, along with only one dose of insulin.  Pretty typical foods.  It had been 189 fasting.  When I really felt something wrong, and checked, it had cratered to 57.  A big glass of milk, which was okay, and a bowl of mixed nuts.  I will check in fifteen minutes.

Still not feeling the best.  That is putting a crimp in the works.  If it isn't high enough, I may take a carb tab and go to bed for a bit.  Whatever.  Later or much later.
-----------

Up to 113 but still feeling rough.  I can't believe two ounces of mixed higher fat nuts and twelve ounces of milk did, in an hour and change.

I'll go ahead with egg pickling.  The socks were dry, so I have them out for pairing.  One batch of eggs to be peeled, one last batch, a mix of chicken and duck, to be cooked and peeled.  The a shave, shower, and bedtime.  With the way clear, a whole batch only takes twenty minutes, give or take.  Especially with water being reused and with cool water already in a cool off tank.

In order to defeat the enemy?

.
.
Or cook?  Visuals.  You have to see... the enemy, the kitchen sink, the stove.  To those ends work was required.  The drill an nylon bristles did quite well.  Still took serious effort, but not as much... if you can handle the weight more than the scrubbing, for me an easy trade.  *zoom!*

The eggs were soaking while I cleaned.  Then they were cleaned.  Almost three dozen.  They may or may not actually work.  They passed the float test, but that isn't absolute. Taste, but look and smell while peeling will tell first.  They get a ten minute run... I mean, I bring water to a boil.  I lower a basket of eggs down into the boiling water, which knocks the boil off.  Then I let it get back to a boil, set the timer for ten minutes, then pull the basket and put it into cool water for three minutes.  Eight minutes is fine, for quick eating, within the week.  I just wanted to try a tadge longer for pickling.  Who knows though, I may go back to eight minutes.

Just about to peel.  Two quarts and a half gallon jug are ready with the fixings.  That should hold four dozen.  Yes, more eggs will be cooked tonight.  I am finally catching up.  Yeah.  It is an easy enough job, now that the sink and stove top are clear and clean.  I just hope the eggs are good.  If this first batch is good, the rest will be.

A shower and shave in a bit.  No need for extra heat, working in the kitchen, and with boiling water, that handles any want that way.  Well, I best get to it.  After this, while setting the next batch, I'll check the socks.  Bleh.  I just realized, the pickled eggs won't be ready until, say, the 22nd... if I push it.  But they were good at that point last time.  I went through two dozen in two weeks or less.  They last better in the fridge, if you use plastic wrap.  Well, my fridge is dated and... I need plastic wrap.

Eggs.  Peeling.  Later.
------------

The eggs were perfect, both in doneness and goodness.  I sampled several, plus used all other senses on the remaining eggs.  All are put up, two dozen.  Another batch is about ready to go.  Since I use filtered water, reverse osmosis water, for cooking, I don't dump and get fresh... at least since the first batch was good.  These should fit in a half gallon jug.

Then I have the freshest eggs and duck eggs.  I want to do a dozen of each, pickled together as possible, to compare.  Duck eggs do taste... a bit swampy?  Sometimes.  Other times, if I didn't know, I wouldn't know.  Visually, though, duck eggs have a massive yoke, which is why the French adore them for baking.  If you like yolks, duck eggs might be for you.  I just wish I could still eat toast.  Hmm, may have to get back to keto bread.  Cup bread or other.  As long as it can sop yolk, and doesn't taste like cardboard.

The next batch is about to go in.  Wee!  Later.

*If you can't have a little fun, figure it out or go away.  Or I shall taunt you a second tima.*

Too early.

.
.
Too little sleep that is.  Early isn't relative, however due to idiom versus literal, meaning can be lost.  I mean, I went to bed past thirteen hundred and am waking at twenty one hundred, if struggling to stay asleep since nineteen hundred.  I just couldn't stay down.  Reclining while wakeful, for me, is pure agony.

There is some back pain.  But rather than the horrendous thrumming sort it is more a stretched constant mild ache.  It is much preferred.  It didn't break into my sleep.  I think I woke merely out of habit.  Just because I stay up later, or even work, it doesn't mean my waking hour will change.  It may take a while to switch that.  Anyway, I don't need aspirin, or not yet.

Blood sugar is back up to 189.  Fresh tea is brewing for a fatted tea.  And I am hoping to begin boiling eggs shortly.  That and an insulin dose before long will settle things.  BP is going up.  Last night, just at bedtime, it was 170/105 with a pulse of 69.  My pulse keeps dropping.  And, yes, I have stopped the extra 3.125 mg tab of carvedilol.  That still means I am taking actually 31.25 mg, half day and night.  If I missed two days in some confusion over the weekend.

Today?  Other than pickling eggs and making a few for regular food, perhaps folding socks if they are dry, it is mostly a day of rest.  I am hoping to nap or sleep in a bit, well before but until dawn.  I see an opportunity to reset the day cycle.  The cool is my friend.  Sleeping in the closet helps... it more closely simulates night.  It is actually rather comfortable.  Later.

Not a bad run.

.
.
I did finish dishes, those which had been set beforehand.  As well, laundry.  As mentioned, wool socks just go through a no heat air cycle, which wont dry them.  They need to be hung, and they are.  I fried an egg and had a third fatted drink, coffee I think, with insulin.  Blood sugar dropped to 87 then 83 just now.

The ducks were watered and fed.  The poor things sure want out.  Soon.  A gate is my next work.  The girls have been fed and their litter cleared.  The laundry was folded and will be going up with me as I head to bed.  Medicine was taken, in obverse... night meds as I go to bed, if in the morning.

A few other things, here and there, plus I stretched my day nearly to noon.  Oh, with the gate, I would like to turn a few containers into enclosed hutches for the birds.  I am not sure if they would prefer to share, or each have one.  I will create enough for each option and learn.  I need to start raking and bagging leaves for them as well.  Along with the bit of hay, it should work.  A last thing is to create bucket traps for the mice.  There are only a few left, I mean to change that.

I am tired and a bit sore.  Even my heart seems worn.  But I did get the project completed.  A lot of work, a new method of doing things, a clean body, fresh clothes, and a start back on the house.  It will definitely be several days, even to Monday, before I can work again.  Plenty left to do.  Good night and day.

Yeah, pretty much.

.
.
Almost all of the dishes.  I overlooked a few pot lids and flexible cutting boards.  They are soak rinsing because I couldn't do more.  All else has been dried.  Much of it has been put away.  I will be going through cooking utensils, getting rid of most of it.  Now that I know how to cook with plain stainless, I looked for and found a few types of spatulas and such that I like.  Some of the experimental options just didn't make the cut.  And the utensils for coated pans is no longer needed or mostly wanted.

As well, I have washed all laundry.  I am just about to fold the loads that are finished.  Wool socks are fluffing.  That won't dry them but it will help them dry faster as I hang them out.  I was so close, had to be awake to finish dishes, and the last load was socks... as easy as it gets.  Plus, the feeling of being finished, if just for a day... moment.  Well, not even that but shut up.

I also got the bins pulled back from the curb.  I will clean the litter, feed the cats, wait to feed and water the ducks, fold laundry, then crash.  It will be a few days until I can do more, so I won't set up more dishes.  All good, that leaves the shower open for use.  A shower early after waking will help recoup.  I will be sore and tired for a while.

Blood sugar dropped to 80.  After a light keto lunch, it jumped to 172 or so.  Not 180, but close enough, so another dose, along with a few pieces of cheese and a fatted tea.  At an half cup of cream, I can have four of those a day.  Anyway, I'll keep at it.  Best get meds down too.  Later, or good night... day.

The plan continues.

.
.
At some point I will hit the wall.  The faster I am going the less likely I am to see it coming.  Sometimes it is just a slowing down, sometimes a blackout that lasts for hours to months.  Even while I continue to post, I am not always aware of the space and time around me.  Sometimes I have literally forgotten my name, if that only happens a few times a year now, or more a few days a year all in one go.  Probably.  The problem is I can't always remember I forgot.

Until I hit the wall, I will move as quickly as I am able.  The new load of dishes has been hit and reset, laundry has been cycled, the cats have been fed, the house is cooling, I am adding, removing, or changing clothes as required to no freeze or burn.  My feet needed socks, after air drying, but just liners.  As the house cools, I will put on wool socks.  And, yet, the t was getting too warm so I went to a muscle shirt.

In an hour I will give clothes a quick extra spin.  They are almost never quite dry on a first run.  Humidity has been very high, for hereabouts, lately... between 45% and 55%, even higher.  Which, with low or fluff as standard settings, is why.  Then finish the dishes.  Then pull the clothes and shift loads.  Finally, I will put as much of the next or last load of dishes in.  With a counter set for processing, and the drill with the scrubber, cleaning to drying goes very quickly.  The drill weighs a ton, but sometimes it can be rested, bringing dishes to it.  Otherwise it is just a good workout!

As to how much of that plan can be done today, or all at once, that I can't say.  My back... actually... for all I have been doing?  I am thinking sleeping on the floor is paying off.  I am not completely through the discomfort of sleeping on the floor.  However the pains from that makes work easier.  So, yes, well worth it.  Anyway, I am moving along quite well.  Oh, only finishing what laundry is going.  The last load is for tomorrow... or later in the week.  Probably.

All blather?

.
.
I woke rearing to go.  Plans set.  If not an exact plan, something something about specific chores.  As I sat, waking, I began to believe otherwise.  I wasn't even sure about a shower.  Then a potential salvational hail Mary plan.  A simple plan, turn up the furnace.

K.I.S.S. -  keep it simple, stupid  When all is failing plans have to be simple.

So I sat.  The warmth did it's thing.  Finally an extended plan developed.  A shower first.  I wanted the hot water, without doubt, to extend what the furnace was doing.  Then dishes and finally laundry.  Oh, and then to turn the furnace back down so as to not overheat when I begin working.  Done.  All set up.

I have a timer set to feed the girls.  At which time laundry might be ready to switch.  I have two, if small specialty, loads after this smaller poly-cotton standard load.  Dishes? What is left are bigger items.  I think one load after this, though maybe two.  Quart and half gallon jugs take up a lot of space.  I am finally clearing some things out.

I was almost sure today would be empty.  Maybe not.  Oh, and fresh fatted coffee, insulin, and plans for, perhaps, an egg tuna roll, or maybe just tuna fried in ghee, with mayo and salsa.  Oh yeah, something like that.  I am hoping to boil a lot of eggs, mostly for pickling, as well.  Though a dozen or two just for eats would be good.

No promises.  I am already beyond surprise myself.  But, there it is.  Now for gaming as the world cools.  Oh, a shave as well.

And my teeth, for as much coffee and tea as I drink, are really looking good.  Brushing three times a day, though, is only part of it.  After a few weeks of morning and night gargling with a water, salt, baking soda, and iodine mix, I continue using that one morning and two bedtimes a week.  Plus, once or twice a week at random times in the day I add baking soda to the toothpaste.  They will never be bleach bone, but they do shine and have stopped falling apart.  Oh, and I don't use flouride.  That stuff not only doesn't help, it is both a poison and a tool for dumbing the population down, as is vegetarianism and veganism.

Later.

A fantastic sleep.

.
.
I moved my bed into the closet.  No joke, one way or the other.  It was in order to shut out the light, a bit anyway.  The folding doors have slats.  Between the curtains and doors, sleeping in the day is better.  A bit more cramped than anticipated, but it will do.  Rather cozy, in the good ways, too.

I have switched morning and afternoon pills for now, again.  Taking water pills just before sleep is a recipe for poor frustrated sleep.  I had thought I was back on medicine, but kept slipping.  It is amazing how confused the mind can get.  Just exhaustion.

Blood sugar remained 140 plus or minus a few through the day... night.  No need to treat, according to the plan.  It is 207 as I wake, definitely fasting after nine hours down.  A leftover fatted tea, the last bites of cheese from yesterday, and soon a hot fatted coffee as I wake.  Plus a dose of insulin.  Then a shower and shave.

If I can work it, I will get dishes started, begin a new load of laundry, and begin cleaning the bathroom.  Perhaps a warmed tuna sandwich later.  And, if possible, to bed early.  The key fobs from amazon arrived.  I would like to get them cut soon.  Hopefully I can finish the dishes and perhaps two loads of laundry?  Three?  Oh, and bring the barrels back.  Looks like it was only a trash day, but recycling wasn't full so no problem.

A good start to the week.  Hopefully I can keep it up.  I need to put a gate on the fence, bury a duck, clean a kitchen and living room, then get back to working on the bedrooms.  I am alive again.  Mostly.  Oh, crap, I forgot all about walking.  I will... get to that soon too.  Not excited about it, but I am in some ways... hopeful?  Maybe, or something similar?  Later.

Most of it.

.
.
As a last thing, a shower.  No shave yet.  No dishes set up.  I want another shower when I wake, then a shave, then I will set the last load of dishes, give or take, to soak.  I checked the ducks.  They had plenty of food and their water is fresh from last night.  I will feed the girls shortly.  And I would like to check on the other insulin from the V.A.

I can't  quite go to bed.  Beside the call, I am a bit jumpy from the work.  Blood sugar was only 140 so no insulin was used.  I did have sliced mozzarella and cheddar, with the fatted coffee, for breakfast... or dinner really.  I may put some of the dishes up as I head to bed.  Or not.  May crash.

It was 26°, not 28° F.  It remains so, at least to 8:30.  I am looking forward to more work later, if possible.  I am hoping work will allow for good sleep.  No cats allowed!  If Sam doesn't yeowl the next few days...  I can still hear her, it just doesn't bother me so dreadfully a floor apart.

A bit of gaming, perhaps a few dishes put up, a call, brushing teeth, and hopefully a good sleep?  I'll know shortly.  Good night and day.  You will be in my prayers, one way or the other, friend.  Even if the term, friend, is used lightly.  Friend.

So close.

.
.
Dishes are half dried and put up, half dried but air dry finishing.  Laundry is all folded and put upstairs.  I don't yet have a place to hang shirts, so for now I will be living out of baskets.  Underwear, shorts, pj's, and pants get folded, socks are paired and tucked together, shirts are usually hung.

Trash and recycling were gathered and out, after dealing with cat litter within fifteen minutes of the last post.  Less trash to go than anticipated, more recycling.  It is all at the curb.  No fresh laundry has been started.  No dishes have been set up.  A shower and shave first, not sure I can do those, any of it.

A fresh coffee is going.  A fatted drink, then blood sugar check, and a dose if required.  I found an mre cookie.  I knew one had been misplaced.  I really didn't want to eat it, but the surprise find, and carb withdrawals won against my better judgment.  Oh well. That should be that for a while.

I'll sit and chill for a bit.  At 66° in the warmer section of my home, I am pouring heat, but comfortably.  The trick, for me, is to keep it cool but dress to be comfortable.  Then keep it cool.  Then I can work without overheating to the point of sickness.  If the furnace could be trusted I would run it to the mid 50s, and still be quite comfy with just socks and albeit warm pj bottoms and a short sleeve t-shirt.  Oh, it was 28° F out there this morning.  Comfortable as listed even out there, with flip-flops.

Later or good night.

Moving right along.

.
.
Half of the dishes dried but finishing air drying, the rest reset.  The whites were folded, towels up, clothes will go up with this last load washed, dried, and at my feet about to be folded.  Beard was trimmed.  A few other things?  I am actually surprised.  As slow as I am going it is getting finished quickly.

After tea and sardines, blood sugar is up to 139.  I will try it their way, only dose at 180 or higher.  Once I receive the other insulin, the once daily, I may cut the dose.

I need to get the trash out.  I don't think there is enough recycling, but I best check.  They arrive early, sometimes both trucks.  I was going to fold laundry first, but morning is coming at me too fast.  Cat litter has to be sorted as well.  Bleh.  Stupid stuff, if a part of the program.  Well worth the doing so as to have cats.

I'd best get the trash out, check recycling.  After dishes, a shower and shave, then most remaining dishes in for a soak.  I sure like the drill scrubber.  It really works well.  I may need to use bartender's stuff on tea stains though.  It makes cleaning the half gallon and small mouth jars a lot easier.  Tea stains don't count, not for cleanliness.

Best get going.  Later.