A difficult day.

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Can't quite understand.  I am dizzy, really dizzy.  I can keep my feet under me, but I feel ill from it, almost seasick sort of ill.

I check blood sugar and bp.  At 129, blood sugar isn't great, but it's not too bad.  Higher than it should be, but that comes from eating incorrectly, and several times in a row... three times, every other or third day.  Yeah.  BP was a bit high, on the first check, at 167/100 with a pulse of 79.  The second reading was 144/100, same pulse.  But that was with almost no effort, other than changing arms.  So, while not great, not all that bad.

A bit of a struggle.

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The five alarm did wake me.  And I was... getting up.  Not sure what happened, but ended up sleeping until well into the seven alarm.  It has... five or six snoozes, ten minutes per.  I think it was the fourth one at which I finally got up.  Or... knew I would so shut it off.

Litter, then fresh water, and finally food for Sassy.  Water started, for coffee.  And the machine turned on, so as to be ready when I got to it.  It takes a bit, as beside the computer turning on, I unplug the internet each night.  I don't want the machines to be accessible while I sleep.

Just past 22:00.

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Six after, to be exact.  I am tired.  Ready for bed.  Going in early.  Earlier, anyway.  Last I checked, it was 31 outdoors, if falling quickly, from a high of 44... to the best of my knowledge.  But... it's... been a nice day.  It looks ugly, not a pretty day.  But I'll gladly take the warmth over the pretty, right exactly on this day... and through these last.  Sometimes it's just... nice.  Like... some women?  Hmm.  *grins*

I checked blood sugar after dinner.  It was down to 119, so that's good.  It'll probably be high in the morning, and will be for several days.  It... takes a while, after eating poorly.  Surprised it lowered this much this soon as is.  I'll take it.  Wanted to check again, but... decided against.  Running out of test strips, and don't have money here or there to buy it.  Well, I do, but... I really don't even though I do?

Annoying.

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Not that being annoyed is something I don't enjoy, from... time to time.

It looks to be working.

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I let it go about three hours.  And the drain pipes are holding, dry as a whistle.  Hmm... my whistles are wet though?  That's... not the point.

A spot of coffee, finally.  Gaming as I was trying to wake.  I must figure some things out.  Work, at getting things right.  Dig in, do some more work around the cave.  And, I think I can.  Maybe not through this week, until next week.  But, Christmas is fast upon me, so that's okay.

A bit later, and not.

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I think it was 23:30 when I finally got down.  I woke at 4:30, if just in time to turn off the five alarm and go on back to bed.  The seven woke me?  Or did I was just before?  I didn't get up, had no intention of getting up quite immediately, in either case.

I hit the snooze a few times, planning on waking in a slow process.  I'm still tired from yesterday, from life in general, for the weather, age, lack of health.  So, while I planned to wake in the seven range, not the early part of it.  At about forty after, I hit the last snooze, then got up.  The space heater had been running.  The thermometer on the alarm read 60, but had been placed next to the outside wall, and near a window, so... it would read cooler.  The main thermometer in the middle of the room, at waist level, read 66.  Usually that will read from 55 to 57, though can go from 54 to 60, without anything else.  So that space heater, given time, does warm it up there.  Just not necessarily in the "corners of the room", as I think of the odd, outer, lower, windowed, spaces.

I swear...

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I am honestly not sure why, or how?  I yet live.  Have you ever had difficulty breathing?  Whether from exhertion, too much weight on you by being trapped or pinned, health problems, or such?  Imagine having a hundred pounds of something on you, most of the time.  I tell you, it's... difficult.  Been that way between a quarter and three quarters of the time for most of the last forty years.

Better, lately.  More like a quarter of the time.  Medicine, is my guess, has helped.  But that quarter of a time is a bit harsher, these days.  I can resist less.  Age has it's costs.

What a day.

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The bike was set up.  Installed a charger system, for the battery.  And installed a different usb, this one also has an 'auto cigarette lighter'.  I don't smoke, but those are very handy... both as a heat/lighting source, and as a plug in for various things.  As well, the fuel filter was added.  I didn't do much of it, but... it was okay.

Oh, and checked the springs.  I think they are stock, but for now that is good enough.  I only weigh forty pounds more than the guy who has been riding her, and he has zero problems with train tracks or potholes.  Suspects I won't eighter.  Off road?  I'll... think of that when I get to that.  But, at least I know, or am pretty sure, they are stock.  So, if need be, I could get the progressives for a bit more resitstance to front bottiming.

A good wake.

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A bit late.  Down around 22:30, had hoped to wake at five.  Set the alarms for five and seven.  Heard the five, knew it wouldn't happen, shut that one down.  Hoping to be awake before the seven.  Nope.  Shut that one down too?  Must have.  Oh, but with plans to wake up.  So, was on the way.  Heard a beep.

A text.  Are you awake?  Thought that it would be that, or a cancelation.  Looks like it's good.  I just, fifteen minutes later, let him know I was awake.  Just needed to shower.  Which... I just am out of.  Took a long time, but... yeah.  Though I wanted to let my feet dry.  I dry them, very well, these days.  But too, want to let them air dry.

Dinner, and to bed?

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Later than anticipated.  But, it just took longer to get dinner going.  A steak, if I, again, only ate half.  But this one was much tastier.  I'll wrap up the other half for tomorrow.  Delicious.  Well, still having nausea problems.

One thing that has been suggested is to go to those medium carb foods, such as broccoli, various squashes, yams/sweet potatoes.  It's been suggested that, perhaps, I am not yet ready for going without carbs as completely as I have been.  And, yes, that... makes absolute sense.

Someone thinks... something.

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Always?  Often... surprised.  The way things come together, here and there.

Someone suggests, or reiterates, things suggested... here and there.  Ears to hear?  It seems so.  And learning a voice too.  I... had to laugh.  If I don't think humor was the point.  Laughter isn't always about humor.  Watching a puppy stumble, or a kitten fall asleep right on top of danger, and... watching people understand what they can't believe.  Faith is... a terribly wonderful thing.  Truth?  I suspect so.  Not... always.  But often enuogh?  Maybe, something.

To bed later, up late.

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Midnight, and change, or so.  Up at 8:30, give or take a handful.  Blood sugar still higher, at 144.  Difficult to keep on carnivore.  Again, looked at a few vids in an attempt to help with that.  Even eating right, again, for days.  Takes... a while to get back into trim, I guess.  Though I am not doing things just right.  If that may not ever be possible.  Bah.

I do have meats out, thawed, ready.  Not sure if the chicken is good.  It's older, from when I still bought chicken by parts.  Thighs.  But those had become so hit and miss, that I stopped buying them that way.  Every package was suspect.  I'll brine them, and bake them.  See how it works.  Toss them if they have that... scank old chicken taste.  As if they hadn't been frozen quickly enough.

Not quite?

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I put out meat, to thaw.  Thought a steak might thaw enough to work with.  No... it just didn't quite get there.  Moved it out, where it might thaw a bit quicker.  Hoping for a steak yet tonight.  Why steak?  First, they don't need to thaw completely, to cook well.  Second, everything else needs much more thawing time.  And, finally, I need to eat something tasty.  Tastier.  Burger has become... very... old.  Which, is fine.  Sometimes.  But... I've got to make food edible, or I won't eat it.  And, if I don't eat it, I will, in time, eat something else.  Something not good.  Pizza!  Tacos!  Burritos!  And those throw my blood sugar even more off than the slight stuff I have been eating off the wagon.

In some ways I am as hungry as a bear.  I need something in me.  In other ways, I'm not hungry and all, and could keep going without for a long time.  But... in truth, I am just on an edge.  A slip could cause me to go out and eat out for days in a row, to take care of my needs, or more my wants.  I have to be caustious.  While it is true, I don't need food.  My body wants, nay demands, food.  And it requires food that is good to eat.  You can survive on stuff.  But the first shot your body gets at something better, tastier, more, it'll take it.

No, not what was thought.

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I made another attempt to contact UPS, change the address.  It just didn't work.  It has been changed, on amazon.  But that didn't, and hasn't, affected the order.  As they said it should.  It simply won't work.

I have made attempts to contact the company, halt or change the order through them, to no success.  There is no one there, or it isn't getting through... my attempts to contact them.  Nothing.  As well, it is a product that can't be canceled, or the order in any way changed.

Quite the morning.

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Mostly gaming.  Then, I thought I heard something, someone, out front.  I checked.  Expecting a package, so... but no.  Nothing, no one?

Then, I... was sure I heard something.  I checked.  Again, nothing, no one.  But... someone pulled into my drive.  I didn't recognize him, at first.  He was speaking, but I couldn't hear him.  So I went out to the drive.  Father!

A nice morning.

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What was it, 20:30 when I went down?  Or so.  Give or take an half hour.  I set the alarms, for 5:00 and 7:00.  Just could not wake at five.  Kept hitting the snooze button.  Turned on the space heater.  it was 58, down by me, before the space heater was turned on.  By the time I woke, at 5:45, it was up to 64.  Which... seemed to help.

I basically got through all the snoozes allowable?  There might have been one left, I can't remember if their are four or five... or would that maybe be six?  I can't remember, and turned it off before finding out.  On the good side, I didn't sleep until the seven alarm.  Up.

A bit to eat.

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A sort of... dirty rice?  Burger, tomato, spices... hot, and a pseudo rice.  Must not have been too bad.  After eating, blood sugar finally started to come down just a bit.  Just to 126, but okay.  It, without that, had only just come down to 146.  It just wasn't moving.  I haven't checked blood pressure or weight.  Later... in the week.

So tired.  It's been difficult to stay awake.  Hitting 19:24, as I write this.  Ah, but thankfully I was awake long enough to remember to take medicine.  I took morning pills as well.  A little higher doses, just... because I keep missing.  Most nights for the last three to four days, and some days.  On the good side, a bit extra, from time to time, seems to help.  If I could just focus, remember, the small doses would work.  Just having a heck of a time.  Winter... eating less... other things?

How clever.

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As I wake, I look at my blogger start area.  I have 248 visitors for the day, for whatever that means.  Which, isn't much by itself.  But?  That is how much I weigh this morning.  Clever.  Very funny.  Something about repeating numbers, patterns, echoes for reality?  This... down for 285 to 290.  I'd go with the high one, maybe 295 at that point.  Things were going... wrong.  It's been a month?  Since going, trying to go, carnivore?  Three weeks?  Eight?  Somewhere in the shorter range, like a month, or a month and a week or two?

I had lost some weight before, but had gained it all back after my second previous doctors appointment.  But had been carnivore for a week or two, so had gotten back down to the mid 260's range by the next visit.  Now to 248.  Still, not impressed.  And, not really doing it for that.  Though would welcome weight loss.

Finally cooked a bit.

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Burger, out on the griddle.  I cleared and cleaned the griddle.  It's usually in pretty good shape, didn't need much.  Didn't make burgers, created burger crumble.  Works in lots of things.  Added beans to some of it, then cheese.  Beans?  Right, but... yeah.  Yea.  I know.

Not much else today.  Tired.  Very tired.  Drinking too much fluid?  Even my hands feel bloated.  Not sure what is up with that.

A very good sleep.

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Just, what, half before 19:00, down?  Not awake until 5:30.  Wow.  A long sleep.  Must have needed it.  Did push through from three yesterday morning, or so?  Something.  All good.

Sassy has been fed and watered this morning.  Litter is on the list.  I just wasn't ready to hit that first thing.  

I... did well.

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It's 18:16.  I was able to stay up a bit longer.  It's such a struggle, but... I do put in effort.  Whether I succeed or not is a whole other thing.

Blood sugar has slowly been coming down through the day.  At 121, at bedtime, that works.  Still surprised it isn't higher.

Not much.

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Mostly just catching my breath from yesterday.  Gaming.  I'm not even going to eat.  Just... not.

Looks dirty out there.  The sun is dim.  It's... just... not a pretty winter day.  They can't all be, I suppose.

So... complicated, sometimes.

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The order, for my mother?  Was to be delivered today.  Was... delivered today.  But?  It went to her old nursing home!  Ugh.  Which... is closed.  So, UPS let me know, or amazon?  And wanted me to contact UPS.

So... I found their contact number and called.  Not... their problem.  So, back to amazon.  And... around and around and around we went.  Finally, I found a way to get them to call me.

Awake!

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Sometime shortly after three?  Or so.  I first woke at about two thirty.  Was able to go back for a bit.  Then around three turned the space heater on.  That just cuts the frosty nature of the air in the morning.  I probably won't use it every day though.  Shouldn't have used it today, didn't need it.  But... it's... novel.

Sassy was fed first thing.  She was begging pretty hard.  So be it.  I'll get to her litter and water shortly.  Then I started in, looking around the web.  Seeing what is being said, suggested, and such.

A long trip.

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Just to the V.A., but that's a two hour drive, and I am getting old.  Longer if you don't take the interstate, but I won't do three hours, or four.  Then, I usually arrive an hour early.  Which would have been fine, but some stinking slot was watching oprah in the waiting room.  So I left, came back a quarter too.  The only other person, a man, was in the waiting room, but was reading.

I asked if he was watching the news, or listening on the side.  He said he wasn't, so I clicked it off.  CNN.  The VA had stopped playing that on every tv.  Looks like their back to their old tricks of boosting the networks ratings.  *click*  All good.  Best news, I told him, I had heard all day.  *grins*

A good start.

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A bit of gaming.  Then a nice long hot shower.  The wound on the leg... the fresh scab didn't come off.  It's fresh and strong, not dry and old like the previous one.  Clean, love that feeling.  Scent.  Nice.  Though, to be honest, since going keto, and then onto carnivore, my body doesn't become as... unclean... as it used to.  Sweat just isn't the same.  Even... bathroom... residue.  There isn't much, often none.  They call it ghost pooping, because when you wipe, there is nothing on the tp.  Seriously.  Very strange what eating the old way does.  

And, yes, it shows up in the shower... sort of... by needing little cleaning.  You need antiperspirant, or other, because you eat bad food.  Seriously.  Now I understand how the french could use bidets, and other nationals.  It was because of their diets.  Or... at once.  The French are slowly giving up the bidets.  As they... eat like moderns.  Sad.  Well, for as long as France will remain French.  I wonder what the muslims will rename it?

Ah, I think it might be the device.

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BP, on first read, was 178/142?  That couldn't be right!?!  A second read, on the other arm, gave me 114/82.  I know it didn't drop that much from switching arms and waiting fifteen seconds!  Can't remember the pulse, was so unnerved about the bp that I didn't remember that part.  But my watch says 68.  Okay.  Okay.  Yes, I think the device is out of trim, or low on batteries?  Something.  I'll change batteries before next use, see if that helps.  I've been using it for a long time, a decade?  I don't remember changing the batteries.  So, all good.

Yes, I took pills this morning.  I'll see about backing it off, tomorrow.  Taking full dose tonight, then... relaxing things a bit tomorrow.  It is good that it came back under control so quickly.  Wasn't sure... about that.  It got pretty high, there.  Sure, I have had it much higher, but... for recent norms, very high.

About right?

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Down at 17:45?  Or... so.  Up at 1:15?  Nine hours, if I am counting right.  Tried to stay down longer, but sometimes it just won't happen.  Didn't need more sleep, just wanted to push my day along.  Wouldn't happen.  

Space heater, this morning.  Technically wasn't needed.  For some very strange reason, it was 64 up there, in the main, 62 near me.  That wasn't the space heater.  It hadn't run for five minutes when I got out of bed.  And, that thing barely budges any of the readings, from the times I have tried it.  not sure what is up with that.  It is usually between 53 and 57 up there.  It was just 57 when I went up last night, after a warmer than usual day.  Very strange.

Perfect?

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Perfection is for others.  I... will make do.  And?  I do'ed!

I had to check twice, but was able to get 146/89 and a pulse of 70.  Not a lot of fuss, or multiple checks.  Just... used the other arm, a few seconds after the first try.  Good enough.  I was... worried, that it might take a lot more to bring it down.  My guess, beyond, is that, in a day or two, I can probably just go to the lower doses again.

Bad.

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Blood pressure was way off.  The first time, it read 196/119?  I did a second read, used the better arm.  The second read was 172/109.  Still pretty high.  So, I took medicine.  A morning dose earlier.  Then a final night dose just a bit ago.  I'll be trying to stay up a few hours in order to check bp again.  I took stronger doses, by a bit.  But it may take a few days for that to have any affect.

Too much, and I about die.  Too little and... I about die.  Bah!

Frigid?

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Yes, yes I am.  I checked outdoors.  It's only 22, so not terribly horribly cold.  but it sure feels like it.  Not sure why.  Though there are things which can make the temperature feel colder.  Barometric pressure?  Air moisture levels?  No wind out there, so it isn't that.  But that can definitely play a part, rip the heat right out of a building, body, automobile.  But... cold, baby.  And I really can't be sure why.

Having coffee.  Not drinking it fast, so have had to heat it up once.  Might have to heat it up again.  Though, if I have something else warm to drink, I think I'll do chicken bone broth.  I'll need to salt it, and will add raw cream.  And, of course, heat it... just in the microwave.  I do have small pans clean, finally, now.  But... I... don't want to dirty them.

Almost made it to midnight.

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I think it was 11:43.  That's as long as I could stay down.  I woke a bit before, turned on the space heater, gave it five or six minutes.  Wanted to give it more, just couldn't stay down any longer.  That did take the crisp out of the air.  Nice.  Didn't warm it to any great extent, just... eased the cold from bed to my dressing bench.

Sassy came up.  Would have napped a while with me, but I just couldn't sleep more.  A rough morning, a bit.  Achy neck.  Sleep wrong?  Or... something else?  Not terrible, just enough.  And a bit of a headache.  I'll check bp this morning, some time.  Blood sugar is 129 fasting.  Okay.  Not great, but I've definitely had worse.

On to bed.

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I made it to 14:00.  Just turned the minute after the dot.  So tired though.  But... I was able to push through.

Nothing else, save another blood sugar test.  It was 119.  While not great, it's better than 150, much better than 215, and far better than 350, let alone 650 or higher.

Well, maybe not much more.

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I am mostly just trying to stay awake until early afternoon.  Slowly falling, though, and it's not even eleven.  Food would be good, as would coffee.  Do I have a drip-through "coffee maker", or something else around?  Or an actual electric drip maker?  One little piece, and the french press is useless.  I'll go look.  That might help.

If the space heater warms a space, it doesn't stay warm long.  Okay, I reset it a while back, to run for two hours.  And... it... takes the chill off the room, or has so far.  As well, you can use it more directionally.  Still, it will work... for a few things.  More or less.

Doing... things.

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Not always successfully?  Yes, and... no.  I mean, I did figure out how to get the p-trap, or whichever, off the bathroom sink.  But... the doohickey is not in there.  It must have just washed on through.  And, now, while I have it back together, and in place, after half an hour of wanting to cuss... but strangely going without?  It... leaks like a sieve.  So... I'll... have to do more down there.  I... really want to cuss.

Actually, that's not true!  I feel no need or want to cuss.  I feel like I would like to feel like cussing?  How about, and more like, I thought I should want to do what I have absolutely no inkling of doing?  Something.  Not a single foul word, or even really the want for such, even while the thing goes completely sideways.  I'm... good with things.  I'll get it, in time.  All good.

Not much.

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And it feels so cold to boot.  I did find a few lids, for the next set of water jugs.  Half gallon jars, just to keep a supply of water from the r.o. on hand.  Otherwise, if electricity goes out, or I just need more water than the thing spits out quickly, I have it.  I keep three jugs full, plus the caraf.  And the reservoir is usually kept topped off, for the next batch.  That gives me two gallons of reverse osmosis water on hand at any time.  It takes about fifteen minutes to churn out a half gallon.  So... an hour and a quarter, if I could keep right on top of it.  That in reserve.

I haven't washed the first jugs since I started.  They smell good... in that they don't have any odor.  The water tastes fine.  I... just... wonder.  So, I decided to change jugs.  Should do that once in a while?  Dunno.  I just don't know.  I know the potable water tanks on submarines smelled nastier than the sewage tanks.  But, they got no sunlight.  My jars are on the counter.  While they don't get direct sunlight, it might be enough, especially in clear jars?  Seems so, it's... probably been over a year.  Ordered April 22, 2022.  So, a year and a half, give or take.

Up so early.

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Well, it seems so.  Down a bit after fourteen hundred, up at twenty three hundred.  I guess that is nine hours down.  It just seems... short... because I am waking so late?  Early?  I feel like I am waking at the wrong time.  Time shifting stinks.  To be regular is a good thing.

Sassy was fed right away.  Blood sugar was tested, and is 145 fasting.  Coming back down, but... annoying.  No more allulose.  Cream, yes, sweetener of any kind, no.  I'll use the allulose when eating with other things that might be questionable.  It actually can help then.  No guarantee, but it's... possible... to fill the insulin manufacturing input slots when eating things with more or faster carbs.  It just... no sweetener seems to work as a daily driver.

Made it.

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Nearly a quarter after fourteen hundred... two pm to some of you.  But... I'm about to crash.  It's been a very good day.  Dishes are still drying, probably dry.  Oh, I will put the laundry in the dryer, turn that over.  Trash was taken out, and the barrel even brought back.  A number of things.  Even put bags back in the various trash and recycling cans.

The new glasses are truly working out well.  I just need to try to take care of them.  I was able to get five pair of glasses for less than the usual cost of two.  Not, truly, cheap.  But, that they work, well, are progressives, and second to the lightest lenses?  Not... bad.  I want to take care of them.  They all die of scratches eventually.

Glasses and more.

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The glasses arrived, earlier than I had feared.  Before ten, I think.  And?  They work!  Really well.  Still a bit... different.  But the others, that I tried before, were so much more sketch.  These just work.  Both sets.  And the long distance glasses work, of course.

As to their weight, I really can't tell the difference.  My old glasses, while distance viewing, aren't lighter lenses.  I think those would be heavier all around?  Anyway.  All good.  I am pleased with my purchases.  Bigger frames, I think, make a huge difference.  Maybe, in time, I can try smaller frames.

Excited.

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And... not.  My first new round of progressive glasses are set to arrive today.  They are the middlings.  The ones from the VA are full weight, these are a good bit thinner.  And one other group is coming which are as thin as they can make them.  Beside curiosity, I wanted extra extras, and... there was a heck of a sale.  Everything aligned, so I spent.

I did buy some regular glasses, too.  Long vision only.  And two pair of progressives.  Just hoping they work out.  We'll see.

It's a start.

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Nothing fancy.  Dishes were completed, the ones I have been dicking with for a month now?  Seems like it.  Rinsed, again, dried, set out to air dry.  So... practically done.  Then, two more loads set up.  Kefir jars, which... have been sitting for a long time.  Three large, three quart, into the hot soapy water.  Very hot.  I am hoping to get those before the day is done.

Next, trash and recycling.  Gathered, sorted, out, and the barrels to the street.  Recycling or not, it's there.  Plus, the bags I pulled for the go have been replaced.  Done and done for that, for now.

I needed to eat.

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Needed?  Yes, I... think that would be the word.  So I kept tinkering with the griddle.  Turns out, changing to a new tank did the trick.  The old one still weighs like it has gas in it.  But... perhaps... something got too cold to work?  Or water in the tank caused a problem.

When it gets that cold, things can go sideways easily.  The new tank is working.  I'll take the other two in, for an exchange, this coming month.  Hopefully this tank will do well.  Then again, the other tank lasted me most of the summer.  So, it may truly just be empty.

Gaming is doing well.

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Getting ahead?  Moving along?  Learning?  Okay, yes, probably all of those things at varying rates.  Enjoying.  Nothing fancy, getting there.  Still things to learn.  Perhaps, through the systems I am using, I will be able to learn those missing variables.  We'll see.

But it's time to hit the dishes.  Reset it all.  Then set a timer.  I think I can get to it.  After that, get trash out, and probably to the curb.  Not sure about recycling.  I don't think this is the week.  Will find out.  May put that out anyway, just in case.  Don't want to miss that again.  Bleh.

Very good sleep.

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The wound was ready for socks today.  So, longjohns and socks.  Doubling layers, hoping for a bit more comfort through the day.  Nothing can completely withstand that... chill.  But this will help, or should.  It was 61 upstairs, in both areas?  Strange, but okay.  Ah, but it is 27 outdoors.  So, yeah.  I suspect the house tries to heat up, does heat up extra, when it is in the 8 to 10 range.  Then that gets stored, to some degree.  So when it warms, it warms even more so.

Sassy has been tended.  Litter boxes, fresh water, and food.  I don't always do it first thing.  But I've been down around twelve hours, so I'll do that.  If just eight, I try to remember to stall feeding her for another hour or two.  She doesn't understand.  But I run out of her daily rations, which means she goes to bed hungry and there isn't a thing I can do about it.  But, my efforts are paying off for her.  She looks... better than she ever has.  She'll never be a svelte little kitty, fixing them young does that.  But, she can look better.  And... she does.  She looks healthy, not sloppy fat.

No.

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.

I won't get to dishes.  I did clear and clean the freezertop off, at least the portion I need.  It is ready.  And, like or not, dishes are rinsing.  And the pan I cooked the kidneys in is cleaning up, more.  It had been soaking in hot sudsy, off and on.  Now it's in a dishpan of said.  I may just drain them, again, though.  The water goes bad so fast!

The wound on my ankle has dried up, mostly.  Still don't want to wear socks or such over it.  Give it the night.  It should be ready to just have socks on in the morning.  It's been a good day.  Not as productive as I had hoped.  With some pains, but light really.  One family affair sorted out.  Some other business arranged.  Ugh.

I almost forgot!

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My mother had asked for something specific for Christmas.  Oh my word, if I had forgotten to order that...  But, no.  I remembered, went looking, and?  And... which one?  She wanted something specifically non-specific.  Couldn't buy several, could I?  Well, actually, yes.  A three variety and a five variety.  She'll have... plenty to play with.

She didn't want me to spend a fortune.  I have spent $500 on perfume for her, one time.  Fine, this was... much less.  Really.  If... it... still wasn't?  I really can't spend too much these days.  Don't have it.  Didn't have it then, just was younger, didn't care.  But, this is more reasonable, and yet covers some bases.  She wanted to try, she can try.

Sometimes choice is too much choice though?  It just muddles, confuses, distorts.  Still, I couldn't choose.  She will have to do the choosing.  But!  I... didn't forget.  It should be there slightly before Christmas.  If... it... makes it.  But it is set to be there on time.  If not, shortly after.  It technically has a five day spread, if it misses it's preferred day.  Ugh.

Frustrating.

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Blood sugar is high, or higher than it should be.  Down seventeen points, from this the fasting number, to 133.  But that just shouldn't be that high.  My normal fatted coffee, and half a steak.  Plus, waiting several hours.  It just shouldn't be that high.  Exactly what I ate yesterday.

I suppose I just can't cheat.  Cheating, by drinking milk, over two days, put me back in insulin purgatory.  I guess?  Nothing else going.  Well, that's fine.  I'll keep at it.  If I fall off the wagon, and take a bit of a bruising, I guess that is how it goes.  I'm telling you, carbs, and the various sugars, are worse than whisky.  Fact, I'd say hooch is simply a form of carbs.  Ask potato eaters.  And, probably, rice eaters.  The switch, for those, is easy.

Yes, the shower.

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A start.  Almost forgot to weigh in.  Did it after the shower.  But, okay.  Right at 250.4?  Okay.  I have lost... more than a few ounces.  To be honest though, I have given up on weight loss.  If it happens, it happens.  If not, not.  I'm not so worried about it.  Would I like it?  I suppose.  At this point in my life it probably doesn't matter?  But... some weight off, again.

Oh, and that shower was absolutely delicious.  It's... been a while?  Oh, I've showered.  But to get in, soak, drench, scrub here, there, everywhere.  Toes to ears to else.  Clean, to the shine, as they used to say.

How do you know it's cold?

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.

When you can say it is up to 13 degrees.  Up from, the lowest I saw it, of 8.  Oh... it can get colder.  I have easily seen -20 raw, before wind was accounted.  I may have seen -35.  Not as cold as Iowa.  First, Iowa is wind blasted.  Second, I have seen -85 (with windchill).  However, we are at 4,500 elevation.  That... makes a difference too.  Either way, don't go out playing naked... in either state.  Still... 13, at my age, is cold enough.

Gaming.  Finally found a pace in the game.  And... figured out how to reset some quests which are tutorial in nature.  Somehow lost the place, and simply am not sure where it was.  Teleports were no good, wasn't showing up on star charts.  I have no idea.  The game is... vast... to put it simply.  You could easily lose your ass, and I did.  Wasn't sure how to reset those though.  Finally figured that out.  Ugh.  So, I have... four tutorial things happening at a time.

Down, hard, at a bit after eleven?

.

.

If I recall correctly.  Up right at 20:00.  Wide, solidly, totally, awake.  Why?  I slept so well?  Maybe.  I let Sassy up, too.  She crawls in, for a while, then finds her way out.  She gets some massage and very light itching.  She has finally escaped having wounds on her back.  Not sure... what happened, but I don't want to do anything to upset that.  So, when I scratch, I do it more with my fingerprint area, than nails.  Some rare times, when she lets me know, I'll use a little nail, but carefully.

Yes, when you... spend years imbueing an animal with true love and concern, they learn how to communicate with you.  Actually, when I think about it, given that women speak a totally different language, from a very different perspective, much of my communication with human women is... more sympathetic, empatic, or such, than verbal.  And, the ones I loved, and tried to know, I became good at woman gibberish.  Get in the zone, and that is when love can really flow.  Women are like... autistics.  A beautiful, if often lonely, misunderstood, complex, mind.  If often more based on emotion than even some faux attempt at an... idealistic logic?  Just... how I see things.  

On to bed.

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I made it to 11:19.  Not... perfect.  It's as good as I can do.  I'll feed Sassy before going on to bed.  And leave the door open.  It keeps it warmer up there anyway.  Oh, the space heater is in, but I won't be able to fool with that right this morning.  Crashing, hard.

It was good to eat again.  Nothing fancy.  Or, well, it was fancy.  But... not much of it.  Half a steak?  At one time, that would have been near sacralige?  Or some such.  Never left food on the plate.  And leftovers?  Wouldn't have heard of it, at one time.  Now?  It'll... do nicely, both the leftover, and that there is one.  Life changes.

Getting crispy out there.

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Down to 8 F, checking just now, at 7:50.  I tried the grill again, several times through the night.  Various potential problems.  I'm just not sure.  Altitude might even be playing a part?  Dunno.  I'll check when it warms.  It's too big to bring into the house.  Could put it in the garage, with the space heater near it.  Risks?  Rewards?

Dairy arrived today.  I feel bad that they probably had to make a trip, just for me.  They would have otherwise just gone on to where they were going.  But, as mentioned, the last time they bought it and took it for the day, it froze.  And it never recovered.  It became something like... whipped butter?  Wouldn't blend into the coffee for beans.  Pun partially intended.  At $9 a quart, that's... well.

Fantastic steak.

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Had to cook it indoors... pan fry it.  And boy was it fried!  Not burned, but the outside was quite done.  Well, may slightly burned.  But the inside was still on the red side.  Still, quite a good cook.  You know?  I don't think my griddle is getting as hot as it should?  Anyway, perfect steak.

Could only eat half of it.  I'll put the other portion up for tomorrow.  It's... plenty of food.  Thick cut, no bone, new york strip to be precise.  Absolutely delicious.

Feeling cold!

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Never sure if that is just me, or... if the world has changed, in some way.  While starting the griddle, I looked.  14!  No wonder.  Yea, that creeps into the house, into the bones.  Young or old, those temps sort of get to you, especially when it was in the mid to higher 30's just a bit ago.  It's the fast changes, on the edges of the extremes, where things just get to me.

It is getting to me.  I am dressed in my usual warmer clothes, if not fully.  I haven't been wearing longjohns under all lately.  But, thick wool socks, warm pants, long sleeve t-shirt, shoes, and jacket.  Well, and beard.  But, yes, it's cold.  I may have to see about getting to dishes, a shower after those, and then adding longjohns.  Every little bit helps.

Late, but... beautiful sleep.

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I went down around... well, after nine, before ten?  Yea.  Up around 19:30, give or take a quarter.

Calls.  The V.A., my mother (a surprise, she doesn't call me often), and a few others?  I... don't remember.  But, yeah.  Texts?  I'll... look in a bit.

Looking, gaming, and... not quite ready.

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Still simply tired.  Getting off my butt, to do more, is... proving a trick.  And, tired again, as in sleepy.  I may just go back up and sleep a little more.  If you can?  And feel the need?  Why not.  I realize I won't ever be... more, or better.  Even if I figured out healt, there is no figuring out age.  No way past some things.  Which... is fine, if... it's not really.  Simply there isn't an option.

A bit of coffee going down.  Will that make a difference?  Doubtful.  I won't set the dishes up until I... will be getting to them shortly.  But after the soak yesterday, they just need a hot soak, and to be dried in say... an hour or an hour and a half after.  That will happen today.  As to laundry?  I'll get to that before going to bed.  Just one full load of coloreds were ready.  They have been washed.  Just need to be dried.

When did I go to sleep?

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Good question.  I started that last post at 16:23.  It couldn't have taken long to finish and post.  And I pretty much just crashed after that.  I was tired beyond tired.  Barely got into sleep clothing.  Just didn't want to sleep with regular clothing and had just enough going not to do so.

Up at 2:45.  A shorter sleep?  Strange, but okay.  A bit weary, not tired... sleepy.  I have been doing so little, that what little I did yesterday hard on me.  Haven't been able to do much.  So, sure.

The bike is ready.

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Well, mostly.  Need to check tire pressure, though it seemed good.  The oil and oil filter were changed, tried to put an inline gas filter oner, but that won't work.  Need a 90 degree one.  Check.  Put the new plates on.  Even took the gas tank off, in order to get to the spark plug.  A good thing too.  Thought about not doing it, but... no, we got to it.  I helped, small things.  But... okay.

Ah, and checked the battery.  I do believe it is agm.  No battery acid spilling when it tips, or topping off from time to time.  But I do have a trickle charger on the way.  Yes.  It's not perfect.  But, for now, the major things were sorted.  Oh, and the chain was cleaned, plus the air filter was replaces.  I don't think the spark plug had ever been changed or the air filter had been replaced.

Raining?

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I know it is.  Well, was.  It just stopped.  But that was something.  What date?  December... 7th?  It shouldn't be raining at almost six in the morning.  But it certainly is.

I don't think I'll get that nap.  But I do need a shower.  I haven't eaten, yet.  So, I may get to that before the shower.  So I can have something warm, and a coffee with it.  I am hungry.  I did wash and rinse the pan I needed.  It's ready, to make dinner.

Nothing fancy today.  But business in a bit.  We'll see what can get done.  I'd like to find knee-pads, those heavier duty ones.  That makes working on things, kneeling, and such, much easier.  If I can find them.  Ugh.

Well... on to food, then a shower.  Later.

Up early.

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At 19:30, it was all I could do to sleep that long.  I started waking at 17:30.  Lasted as long as I could.  The furnace was on 74, which may have been part of it.  Was burning up when I woke.  Ketp getting hotter.  Kicking my feet out wasn't enough.  Though, now, if it gets too cold up there for even my sleeping comfort, I know how to fix it.

And, yes, it was 57 up there.  That doesn't seem all that warm.  And, isn't, unless you compare it to 50 to 54.  Even three degrees is... a big change, once things have stabilized for a while.  And I have gotten well used to the cooler temps up there.  Not working in it, maybe.  But sleeping in it, I'm just fine.  Usually.  Even while fasting.

Well, it's past noon.

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The goal was reached.  And, the packages arrived.  I had some cheese and salami.  It just doesn't taste as good as I remember?  Have my tastes changed?  Still, it's... good.  One of the new cheeses just... isn't my favorite.  I may investigate how to use the cheese.  I dunno.  It's just not to my taste.  A type of swiss, a real one.  It has that strange funk that American "Swiss" cheese does, only much more strongly.  There is a spice that reminds me of... a seed type.  Rye?  No, caraway, I think!  Don't they use caraway in rye, bread?  Almost certain of it.  Anyway... that's what the swiss type cheese has a wiff of.

The other cheese, a slightly aged gouda... a young one at eight months, is one of my regulars.  And goat cheese, fresh.  Nothing fancy, but both of those are very nice.  The salami just doesn't have much flavor.  It's supposed to be well laced with fennel.  Has the price gone up on that so much they are being stingy?  Ugh.  No, my taste buds are good.  Very good, for a fact.

Hmm...

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Say, fifteen minutes after?  And?  Blood sugar spiked to... 104?  Up five points.  Well, maybe not a spike.  Still, I'll check in an hour.  I am not sure what to expect.  But, I did take a small drink of milk.  Between me realizing I really didn't want to do that, and it being a bit off, I pretty much spit it all out.  But that may have caused the increase?  

It doesn't take much.  If my body think it's going to get something with carbs, it'll jack blood sugar hot and fast.  A very strange thing.  I have been diabetic so long that the body wants to be, now, diabetic.  It wants to shoot insulin to the moon.  Surprised that hasn't killed me.  Or, yet.

Nothing but water.

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So far.  Steak.  I pulled several.  The smaller one, thinner one, is thawed enough.  I'm heating the griddle.  Will want to add a bit of fat... coconut lard... or such.  They call it oil, but it's a solid.  More like frozen lard.  Well, once the frost has been defrosted.  Glistening, even on the barbie.

It's dropped to 25.  Not too terrible.  But there is a chill to it.

Thinking about a different day.

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Sure, every day is a different day.  But, if you do the same thing, every day, in another sense it really isn't another day.  It's the same day on a different calendar day.  Yes, change things up.  Attempt to do work.  No... not attempt.  Do work.  How much?  I don't know.  I could find out.

Some laundry needs done.  A pair of boots and two pair of pants need to be tried on.  If... I prefer to be freshly showered, even when trying boots on.  Dishes definitely need doing.  The freezertop, mostly, just needs cleared.  Mostly.  And I need to pull meat to thaw as well.  So, a shower too.  A shave?  Maybe.  Or trim.  Whiskers are looking mighty white and long.  I am not doing Santa.

I love the stories they tell.

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Oh, but called mother.  I worry about the old girl.  I shouldn't, in one sense.  She is most truly in God's hands than any concern of mine.  I... just hope life doesn't hurt, that she doesn't feel lonely, that sort of thing.  Even then, I can't do much, but pray, call, let her know she is loved.  We have had our bad times, and our good times.  These days, good times.

Up.

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Early, again.  I didn't make it past 8:30.  Crashed, not even to 8:30.  Fifteen before, and I went down like a rock.  Dropped.

The bed wasn't made, the fan was still on.  Had to mess with that.  Strangely, it was warmer up there than usual, if it definitely didn't feel like it.  But, once the bed was made and the electric blanket on, sleep was pretty good.

Yea, okay, fine.

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Just alullose tonight, in the coffee.  Figured it would lower it just a bit.  At 91, it... works.  No, not feeling bad.  While blood sugar is low, it's not... unnaturally low, or falling at a high rate.  It's... just 91.  Which, in healthy people, is the middle range.  The number they like is between 80 and 100.

Now that I have it back in order, I can begin eating again.  Strange how, sometimes, I can fast without any problems.  This is the fourth day?  Not complete.  There were the packages of berries, and the two to three tablespoons of cream I have in coffee, once or twice a day.  And the non-nutrient sweeteners.  Which, if not caloric, do play a role.  Mostly for ill.

Awake, given the givesn, early.

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I made it to between 8:30 and 9:00.  Couldn't go further.  Still, that's... later... by a bit.  Awake at 17:00, about on the dot.

Some leg cramping this morning.  Then again, this is the going on the fourth, or fifth, day of not eating.  Or not much.  A fatted coffee, nutrient drink, and berries... two six ounce boxes of blueberries on various days.  Still, that's... not much.  I figured cold got to my legs, but then realized I probably just was not producing enough warmth.  Not the worst of cramping, just mild.  Easily set aside, handled.  But there.

Rain?

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Strange, but yes.  I guess it decided to warm up.  And, still wants to let loose.  So... rain.  On top of still a goodly bit of snow.  It's... going to freeze, isn't it?  Bleh.  It is 34 out there, though, up two degrees from earlier.  Can't last.

Learning much in the game.  Every time I find a new, what I think will be simpler side-quest?  About a third of them end up being four to six hours, plus research online as the game doesn't help with some things.  Imagine finding the parts for an automobile, and an owners manual.  Yeah, no.  You won't put the parts together from that.  That is how a lot of games are these days.

Been awake for a while.

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How long?  Who knows.  An hour, three.  I just... wasn't paying attention.  Sassy was fed first thing.  Just... because.  Her water is still good, so I won't fuss with it.  Changed it just last night.  Litter will be sorted soon... soon enough.

Blood sugar wasn't great, at 124 fasting.  But it beats ~230, even 180, 160.  And it's trending downward, if slowly.  I think eating would move it along better?  When my body cannibalizes itself, it seems to produce more carbs?  Odd, but I think so.  I haven't eaten in three days.  Bleh.

Not as good as hoped.

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Better than 130.  I just checked blood sugar.  It is 118.  No food eaten.  Only one fatted coffee had.  Though, again, I used a drop of sucralose.  In with my standard dose of alullose.  Experimenting, still.  Food would be good, but I just don't feel like cooking, or eating.

Slightly nauseous.  Eventually I need to eat.  And more regularly.  Not sure what the problem is.  But, right now, food just doesn't sound good.  And I don't have the energy to take care of what needs tended in order to cook.  Oh, and there is snow out there.  I'll have to move the griddle to someplace... more amenable to winter cooking.  Under one of the evergreens, I suppose.

Better, again.

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I was sure blood sugar would be back, at least to 130.  Probably higher.  Just... because.  But, no.  Even though I have been stretching things, experimenting, blood sguar was good this morning, at 114 fasting.  No, it isn't 94, or even 101.  Better.  What did I say about experiments, on top of things.  So, not bad.

I have been thinking about medicine.  I will take one tab.  See how that does.  Though nervous.  I got very dizzy while clearing the litter boxes today.  I have never had that happen.  Probably from lower bp?  Though I fasted yesterday, didn't I?  Actually, yes.  The experiments wasn't with food, it was with sweeteners.  I even only had one fatted coffee, and half or third of what I used to consume... if just as much cream.  Between two tablespoons and 1/3rd of a cup of it.  Yeah!  Higher fat content by portion!  Nothing else in it, though, so...  But less fluid won't wash it through as fast?  Dunno.

Oh, nice.

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.

Finally.  Blood sugar is back down.  At 101, I... am happy again.  Won't stay there.  But, it's good to see it.  I even did it my way.  Or... sort of.  Though, too, I didn't eat today.  Doesn't always matter.  I didn't eat for two days, going on three before I broke into a few cans of sardines.  Though, with "keto" crackers.  Lower carb, but far from perfect.

I just wasn't feeling well enough to cook, or eat.  I'm... not sure what to do with medicine.  Two small tabs shouldn't have done that.  Especially since I had missed for a day, maybe a day and a half.  It just isn't, normally, that powerful.  At higher doses, sure.  Even at 12 1/2 mg, that stuff is like a bottle of scotch.  It'll plant you.  But at 3.125, it really shouldn't.  Or even double that.  I don't know.  I'll go without medicine for a few days, see where my blood pressure is.  If a little elevated, I'll... think about how much to take.  Ugh.

Sassy has been enjoying eating a bit more.  I've added fifty percent to her rations.  Oh... she would still eat more.  But this is satisfying her.  She isn't begging, persistently.  I do what I can for her.  But, if she starts getting too big, I'll have to cut back down.  Balance.  Trying to do your best for your pet, or child, is... tricky.  Do we ever get it perfect?  I don't think so.  But we do try.

Oh, I think it's time for bed.  As to the game?  I got... much started.  But, need more research, on a certain area... or to find specific items really, through a sort of research, that is proving elusive.  I'll... check, when I wake, to see if there is a better way.  Still, I got a decent start, and just... need a "door" that works underwater.  Ugh.  Always something.

Sleep should be good.  I hope your day is good.  Goodnight.

Feeling slightly better.

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Didn't eat or have anything, even water.  Just... didn't want to push my luck.  Having a coffee, now, finally.  Though, when nauseous, coffee isn't the best.  But nothing else sounded any better.  And it's cool, coffee helps with that.  Strangely, as cool as it is?  I am not feeling the cold.

Or, currently.  I was there for a while.  It's 64 in this room, and I feel fine.  It's 54 upstairs, and the warmest, and I slept well.  Though, getting out of bed is difficult.  I did order a space heater, with a remote control.  Not a big thing, just... big enough.  When I wake, just turn the thing on... give it... a while.  Then wake and be able to dress without freezing.

O.D.'ed.

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No, not on junk.  Medicine.  But, really?

I don't think I took medicine yesterday evening.  And, maybe not yesterda morning?  So... I took double what I usually do.  But, double what I usually do, for mornings, is my normal night dose.  So... shouldn't have been out of sorts.  Two of the smallest pills, at 3.125 mg, of that medicine.  Normally I take one in the morning and two at night.

I'm not the only one.

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Do they see it coming?  Now, some walked.  Stalin, technically, never paid.  Neither did Pol Pot, or many others.  They... might walk.  But we know.

Up really late?

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Sleep cycle is spinning.  So be it.  I made it to the V.A. appointments, in spite of all.  That's... more important than the rest.  Not sure when I went to sleep.  Nearly six, or a bit after?  Definitely at least near.  I remember reading the time at well past 5:30, :46?  The latter, if I remember rightly.  But, that doesn't mean I went to bed then, only that I saw it on the clock.  :56?  Maybe.

Up around 17:00.  Pushing as I am, the game eating me alive.  It's... that makes sense.  As mentioned, I did complete one of the three main game story chains.  Ugh.  Had to research a third to a fifth of the main methods or means.  Not bad, in one sense.  But... not good.  When a game just says to do something, with zero ways, in game, to understand what is asked?  Bad game production.

Tinkering.

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I wanted to see about something else.  Adding a single sucralose drop in with the alullose?  Just... one data set.  But it doesn't look good.  Then again, there was more with it.  When I get out, clear, and blood sugar is normalized lower, I'll try again.  It IS lower, at 123.  Just not as low as I had hoped.  Though, again, I had a potato with dinner.  That's... a lot of strain on things.

I finally made it through one of the lines of quests.  Hmm.  Okay.  Well, there is that.  I hope the other lines are better.  Though, really?  Not a terrible game.  Just... so very much to learn.  And, no, I haven't learned it all.  I could only imagine trying to play this game with only a few hours a day, or even a week!  Wow.  I think you would learn things better.  And, you'd probably look things up, on the inbetween times when you couldn't play but had a few minutes.  But... it would take forever to get... anywhere... in this game.  That game could last you a lifetime, if you didn't burn out... or it simply stopped being available.

Strange.

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The coffee took the blood sugar up, to 141... from 119?  I did add swerve in with the alullose.  I used about a two to one, alullose heavy, mix.  I'm wondering if swerve just has too much of an affect?  Or if the mix just doesn't do as well?  Like it or not, for the time being, I think I'll stick with alullose.  I'll save swerve for attempts at baking and such.  If... I ever bake.

Did I mention this is annoying?

Now that is a surprise.

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Roast is one thing.  That shouldn't increase blood sugar (if meat has been of late for no good reason).  But potato?  It was a test of the alullose.  Well, and I still had it, plus temptation.  Gah!  In any case, blood sugar was coming down well last night, through the night, in spite of the baked potato in the meal.

The real test was what it would be this mornng.  I... expected 160 to 180.  Perhaps back to 230.  As weird as my system has been, that's... plus history... it's... what was expected.  Nope.  119 fasting!  Nice.  It's not 101, but... something was really off.  I swear, someone spikes my water, or food somehow, with sugar.  Because three days of fasting, literally no food fasting, should have brought blood sugar down.  It wasn't.

Up very late.

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No, didn't get to any work.  I did roast the chuck roast.  Ate some.  It was good to have some food.  Nothing fancy, but... good enough.  I also had a potato.  Thought I had tossed those.  Guess not.  I wanted to test the alullose, see if it would help with even that.  It seems to have.

All said and done, through some ups and downs... up to 150 as a high, it is now 128.  I had hoped for more, but... I am pushing it.  I shouldn't get even that.  Curious what it will be on waking.

My ears are ringing!

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I finally wrote my friend back.  He is getting to an age where... the wonderment of our being begins to... lead to weighty questions.  I could go down each rabbit hole.  But I believe it better to let him know that... the questions are good... in that this is the time of life when... they should arise.

Women... hit walls.  They question their beauty, whether anyone does, or will, love them.  And panic about babies... as time ticks out.  Even if they have had some, having more?  ...  Men?  We wonder if our reality means anything, if we are a part and party to the world.  Both are... the beginning of the stages of death.  To be honest.  A form of facing that, if we... try to find different ways around asking certain questions.

Noon thirty.

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Well, when awake and out of bed.  Just in sleeping attire, haven't fed or otherwise tended Sassy.  Won't feed her for an hour or so.  Since I am, technically, up really early... on the local norms, minus trips to SLC.  Always exceptions?  Always, yes, I think so.

Sleep was good.  Getting into the ice cube up there was a bear.  Changing into night attire was brutal.  Tucking in, warming up finally, and sleep was gorgeous.  I rolled well enough that nothing got too sticky.  Bones, ligaments, joints, mostly, feel pretty good.  I feel somewhat rested.  But, still in that "keto flu" phase.  Given my age and health, or advancement of one, lack of the other, to be specific, I... will probably be struggling with this for a goodly while.

Swerve is better.

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My last three blood sugar reads were 140, with nothing for a long time.  Then, after some coffee with allulose, at 101 and 110 after some coffee with swerve.  Not sure the slight lift had anything to do with anything though.  Just... it goes up a bit, later in the day, as a usual thing.

Better.  But still annoying.  All I have eaten tonight was about a third of the steak left over from yesterday.  Blood sugar should not be running higher.  I am taking medication.  Sleep is off, and that can have an affect on both bp and blood sugar.  Still?  Annoying.  But, the allulose does seem to help.  Perhaps a mix of the two?

Two more recipes...

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Should work for keto, some carnivore?  Bleh.  Take your pick.

Oh, and this first recipe?  Takes a difficult sauce and makes it easier to make.

Out and back, with the goods.

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Cream was obtained first.  Not a recording of the old group, whole, raw, bovine cream.  Cow, not bull.  *shakes head*  I got three.  Two for the week, consumption, one for recipes.  Then on to the store.  Greek yogurt, whole fat... butter, various berries, a lemon and orange, and... on.  For... some things I am planning to make.

Awake very late.

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Days and nights were shifting.  Waking so early, by that standard, yesterday... to get to the eye clinic... was a struggle.  Though, my body didn't hurt all that much, and I wasn't exhausted through the day.  Oh, a bit weary by the time I got home.  But, I had been fasting the whole time too.  So, no... nothing out of the ordinary.  Actually, that I wasn't tired was unusual.

I had hoped it would allow me to sleep, early.  Perhaps return to a day schedule.  No dice, chance, or else.  I just couldn't sleep until late, if I was up just a few hours later to see if blood sugar would dip.  Well, and it did.  So it wasn't time wasted.  Though knowing, some things, is rarely time wasted... for vital data.

Blood sugar was so odd.

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I finally gave up and ate.  Blood sugar stayed at 134?  Hmm...

While looking for an alternative sweetener, I landed upon a video that suggested there are some.  But that one, in particular, not only doesn't increase blood sugar, but blocks the receptors from other sorts of carbs.  I had the stuff, worth a shot.

Who is... out there?

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Strange... what people sometimes think, suggest, see?  Plain to see what it is they are saying though.  If... vids are any indication?  I never know, with certainty.

The eye doctors, today.

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I had to push to get out.  I'm taking a new way, which really is faster, and easier on gas.  The pass is prettier, but for the gas you use extra, I just can't do it.  And it takes longer.  Not that an half hour is the world, but... it... does make a difference.  Especially when I am going to be up there all day.

First the checkup, then the prescription, then some scans... water is collecting behind the eyes.  Well, one of them now.  The left improved.  The right got a little worse?  I'll find out.  And, if needs be, get in to be seen by a specialist for it.  Might as well.  And, an earlier follow up, than usual.  All good.

Oh, up!

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Before the first alarm.  Don't remember, or didn't hear, the first alarm... eight and ten.  Got Sassy tended, a shower after, then dressed as I sit here, twenty three after ten.  I wasn't exactly hustling, if it wasn't stop and go traffic either.  Time to write just a bit.

Blood sugar is 166 fasting.  I would like to blame it on the crackers, but... no, I don't think so.  It... just is.  The crackers are low carb, three or four equal thirty carbs, and they are... large.  I ended up having two cans of kippers and three crackers.  Not super, but supper?

Having a water as I sit.  Wake.  I'll look around just a bit, then get on with the day.  Later.

Bedtime.

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Early.  Or... earlier.  0:44, as I start this.  I never did check the temp outside.  Didn't do much.  Gaming.  A fatted coffee.  Water.  That... was my day.  I'll try to be up earlier.  A lot earlier?  Sort of.  Perhaps around eight or nine.  I'll push it.  But might have to sleep another hour or two.

Hungry.  Didn't eat.  Blood sugar is sticking, it was 140 a bit ago.  Two days of fasting and it just won't break.  I'll break it.  I haven't checked bp.  I'll do that... in a few days.

Up, very late.

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I took care of Sassy first.  Water, food, litter.  Not unusual, just a bit faster to it all.  Then tested blood sugar, after a day of fasting.  It is 153 fasting draw?  I guess another day of fasting.  If it continues to be high, I'll have to reconsider some of the things I am doing.  Is the flavored, if unsweetened, water doing it?  Is it the cream?  Too much?  It doesn't make sense.

Good, anyway.  What I have thawed and out isn't any good at this point.  I'll toss it.  Meant to pull more out last night, but that was too much fuss by the time I realized that as a want.  The game has me by the short hairs.  I have... some things to do, though.  So will have to escape it's gravity for a bit.  Then... through the winter, can dive into it.  Unless/until the motorcycle is ready to tinker with.  Then I'll go do that.

Hmm, 7:09?

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As I write.  The... world is changing.  From 32 to 12.  The evening of Thanksgiving, I think, is when it went down.  I haven't been checking.  But, that... cold... got to me.  I finally decided to close one of the windows upstairs, the one closer to me.  May end up closing both?  Maybe.  I'll watch the temps, see how I feel.

I can handle... cooler temps.  Or used to be able to do so.  Especially for sleeping.  Though, if it's too cold, waking is a bit of a trick.

Almost ouch?

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It hurts, freshly.  The last vestiges of pain from the most recent sleep injury?  The pinched collar bone area is down to just the last bit of pain.  Fresh, hard, but not large enough of an area to really make it too much of a thing.  Still, It's there.

Up very late, nearly 14:00.  The game ate me.  But, things were finally making sense, which gave me direction and function in the game.  I stored  the right things in order to do a lot on that.  Running out of stores.  Will have to go hunting for those resources, and... figure some other things out.  On the good side, the things I sorted have opened up a few other areas.

Way late.

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So be it.  I was gaming.  However, finally, I found methods for actually improving the bottlenecks.  I still feel like I am hunting for a needle in a haystack.  But it's better than looking for a needle when I couldn't find a needlestack within which to search.  Not bad.  And, on several items.

Even so, it's a serious drag.  And I don't know... how to do the main missions.  The hints, or suggestions, are useless.  So, currently, I am just improving what I can improve.  I'll get back to that in time.  May have to look them up.

The inner bits of the turkey were good.

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This, that, get to it.  Warmed in the nuke just a bit.  Not great, not much, but... it worked.  That and some fatted coffee.  Two hours after, a blood check.  At 139, given the heavy meal yesterday... to include two desserts, that really isn't bad.

Tired, worn, achy.  Medicine going in.  No painkillers, this time.  It's just not... bad enough.  Maybe altogether, everywhere, I could say it was.  But, it's nearing bedtime.  And, I think I can get on to sleep through what hurts.  If it feels like this tomorrow, I will take painpills.  Hoping to start not having to do so.  Then again, I have cut usage between half and quarter what I had been that first week of absolute carnivore.  Bits and pieces at a time.

The turkey was a bit better.

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The problem?  I think I overcooked it.  The remaining drumstick was good.  Of the two remaining thighs, I found that warming one of them, and digging down past the... tanned parts, including several layers of meat, nearer the bone it was still moist enough to be tasty.  But most of it wasn't very good.

I haven't eaten all that much, having said that.  I might warm the last of the thighs, tear down through what is inedible, and get a final small meal.  All that remains that is good is about what you'd get on two smaller drumsticks.  But... it is good enough.  Yeah.

Awake, late.

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Fair enough, I keep pushing.  Games, food, driving, etc.  Up at 11:30.  Down?  Two?  Three?  I can't be sure.

Blood sugar is 166 fasting.  I... expected it to be in the 230 range.  Especially after eating last night.  Okay.  Not perfect, but better than hoped.  We'll see in the next few days though.  Sometimes it doesn't crest for a while.

I did roast the turkey.

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As well as the yam.  The acorn squash hasn't been done yet.  I tasted it.  Hmm, not so good.  It was done.  Not overdone.  But the turkey just didn't taste all that well.  It was fresh.  I brined it.  I just don't know what... I did wrong.  Or... maybe... the turkey just wasn't fed well?  I don't know.

I'll consume it.  Letting the rest of it cool, then will put it up.  Stripping meat off the bone tomorrow.  I have eaten what of the yam I will.  Those, even if lower carb, are pushing things and, what with today, is enough.  Oh well.