Someone is... saying... something?

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Yes, they... sometimes line up too well for comfort.  Could be chance.  But when the notion is pushed, in a dozen ways?  I retain the right to suspicion.

Women.  They do that.  When they try, they are horrible about it.  When they just do it, sometimes, they... are amazing.  This might be her.  Or someone who would like to be like her?  The woman.  THE... Woman.  Well, one of them.

Didn't make it.

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Couldn't wake.  I... went to bed early enough.  I was down by eight, I think, a bit after but not much.  Should easily have been awake by fiftenn hundred?  Give or take.  But, no.  I didn't wake until seventeen thirty.  Even then, was moving slowly.  Couldn't... get going.  Can't even make it to the store tonight, though really want to... need coffee, would like to get some pork chops.

Yes, my days and nights aren't just twisted, they are twisting 'in flight'.  This day can be as much as eight hours, even twelve hours, off from yesterday.  I sleep without the ability to choose when.  I fall when I fail, sometimes quickly, though usually longer... twelve to twenty hours uptime, at least there is that, mostly.  Down time?  A few to many hours.  Two to three down, rarely but just yesterday after a long stretch up.  Nine hours down today, give or take.  No control.  The alarms aren't helping.  So be it.

It was 75 when I checked outdoors.  I had the downstairs closed up, and it stayed around 70, less a few degrees.  Upstairs was open, it got to 70, with two fans going and the windows open.  Interesting little life, weather, seasons, this year.  California is admitting that it is out of drought.  Which?  Means more water. The aquafers.  Can't have them saying they are out of drought, only to have them then saying they are, in a year, again.  Bureaucrats can't be trustes, so must be... learned.

Almost.

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I... had an event tonight.  An invitation.  I meant to make it.  I have been planning, actually, since I got word, Wednesday.  I started by doing shirts.  Laundry.  I meant to have two shower taken, but a mistake in the kitchen... iterrupted that plan.  But, as shower this early afternoon, was had.

Brushing my teeth, four or five times since I was invited.  Oh, and pants.  I wanted clean pants.  So, I put those in this afternoon.  Unfortunately, they did not finish in time.  But... that isn't the whole of why I didn't go.  I was still completely shot.  I... got the shower, brushed my teeth twice since waking, Got a shirt out of the laundry and ready, got mostly dressed.  But... I... just... couldn't complete the task, though the pants weren't dry.  So...

From now on, I'll leave one pair of pants, what I am wearing, out.  Same with a few shirts.  I prefer to wear them a day or three?  Depends on the day.  If I break a serious sweat, one day.  If I'm mostly resting, three.  Now, the pants which are washed, and dried?  Will be put into airtight bags.  Same with several shirts.

Down to 71.

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Was, while I was working on the griddle.  Burgers.  Four patties, smash burger style, delicious.  Nothing fancy, but it honest is good enough to eat just as is.  Though, really, I'd like to get cheese slices for on top.  I won't do American, swiss... cheddar, munster, "swiss", and others, sure.  I've never liked, nor trusted, Amercian cheese.  Even as I kid.  Didn't like balogna or hotdogs, but I have... changed that.  To a degree.

Hey!  I love fried balogna.  Hmm... but that was back when I could have bread.  Yea, maybe not.  It just wouldn't be good on it's own.  Though, I could try to figure out keto bread/buns for that, and hotdogs.  The griddle is so very good as cooking some things very well.  Browning, or even better, partly burning the skin.  Well, now that it might be warming up, that is.

It stayed below 70 in there, most of the day.  The computer room might be warming up.  Yep, up to 74.  But... that is doable.  If I suspect warmth might finally be back?  Maybe.

It's 77 outside.

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Or was just a bit ago.  Still below 70 indoors.  But, a warmer day.  Not many clouds in the sky.  And it has been dry for... half a day?

I have been asked to an event.  And, if possible, will go.  I am washing pants.  Will need to wash some shirts and else.  As well, shower, trim or shave... haven't decided that part, brush my teeth a few extra times.  I will try to be ready.  Plus, it will get me going so perhaps I can get back to church.

I am in rough shape.  Not sure what is wrong.  The extended cool, wet, and dark?  I am not sure the heat will help, when it hits?  Once I get used to it, it... is like a springboard, until it breaks me again.

Down late, up later.

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I... can't remember exactly when I went to bed, though it was nearing or just after eleven.  I... wanted to stay up longer.  Maybe did, for a bit?  No later than 13:30?  I... think I fell closer to the previously stated hour.  Trying to push on back through.  But it has been so cold.  And the game is eating me whole.

It was down to 66 or even 64, before I surrended.  Closing the house up, turnin on the furnace, up to 72.  My fingers hurt, my fingernails hurt, for the cold!  I was dressed well, warmly.  It didn't matter.  I was drinking hot coffee and tea.  And, that helped, for moments.  I just couldn't take the cold anymore.

It was 68 in this front room, 69/67 upstairs (which was closed from downstairs).  Of course, it was 72 in the main.  Which... was nice for a good bit of time.  I turned the furnace on around five or six, when it was 40~41 outside?  Crazy, right?

I woke at around 17:30.  Betwen then and 18:00, I checked outside.  It was 58.  But, clear, finally, and dry.  It has been raining for the last day and an half?  Or so.  Cloudy, raining, and cold as could be.  It looks like the mountains got even more snow.  Beautiful.  Terrible.  Unnatural.  But... this, too, I understand.

Dreams.  Women, times, places.  Things which haunt, and frigthen, even me.  It is... not hell which frightens me... but heaven.  Not for... bad reasons, for good.  Have you ever received a dear gift you truly do not deserve?  And known it.  And, protested, to a degree?  But accepted it, graciously?  Then... you have the smallest inkling of my fear.

Good and bad.

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It was 68/69 upstairs, 67/68 downstairs, and 68 but warm feeling and humid, in spite of it raining, outside this morning.  Morning?  Midafternoon that is.  I think it was nearly 14:00 when I crawled out.  15:00?  I... can't even be sure.  It is a rough one.  I didn't get to bed until... at least almost six, perhaps as late as eight.  I... got stuck in the game.

Fighting through some of the roughest areas in the game.  Two, nearly in a row.  On the hardest settings.  These are two of the three or five areas where super duper equipment doesn't help.  Still, I made it through.  Then played a bit longer to get past those areas a goodly bit.  Then saved.  The problem with saving, in this playthrough, is I only get fifteen saves.  So I have to use them very sparingly.  Which... also means if my 'toon dies, I have to start way back... possibly.  Strategic saving is vital.  It... also means, when I get through a really tough area, I should shove on through as far as possible before saving again.

As well, being up so late, I... became dumfoundedly hungry again.  So, I hate.  Potatoes and ribs.  Had to eat.  Famished.  Starving.  I am learning, that if I stretch my day, I will eat, like, want, or choose it consciously, or not.  And it won't always be the best food.  I did have kefir before and with the start of the meal, and a vinegar tonic after.  So there is that.

Didn't post the last... until just now.

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I thought I had.  My internet is extremely spotty.  Clicking the publish tab doesn't mean it publishes.  If it doesn't connect through it will simply not send it.  Doesn't matter, only, maybe, one reader here legitimately?  Two?  Three?  They don't show up, but... I get hints in other ways.

No extra coffee.  The extra water I found isn't... enough.  I doubt it, after rechecking, will get me through to when the filters arrive, then are installed, then water is made.  They are set to arrive Wednesday, but they could arrive quite late.  Often early afternoon, but not always.  So... either I skimp on coffee, a day or two.  Or more likely, assuming I can, I buy a bit of water.  Though... perhaps there is a way to reset the filters.  Just because time or amount of water through, is gauged, doesn't mean the filters are used up.  As a fact, the water is still coming through as quite fresh.  With no more particulate than when I first installed them.  I'll... do some looking, shortly.

I am having a second vinegar tonic.  And enjoying, to be honest.  Kefir isn't ready to reset, so I can't have more.  Used up most of what was available.  It's been so cool that kefir just isn't fermenting fast enough.  It is taking two to three days to finish.  Oh well.

Ran out of filters.

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Or... the machine is saying the filtration process is in need of replacement?  Something.  I need to check on that.  Because these filters shouldn't be close to being done, especially since I have titrated water softening into as close to perfection as possible.  That, and all the fresh water from this spring, which is still coming in through thaw and fresh rain, means the particle number is a quarter of what it usually is.

But, I have ordered filters.  They will... come when they come.  Wednesday, it is suggested.  Will see.  So, I am having to watch how much water I use.  Unfortunately, I pulled the refrigerated water jars, and just used those up.  Or they could act as a backup.  May go back to doing that, just switching them out from time to time.  I would like to fill a few five gallon tanks, but that would take a lot of extra work.  And, those would only last about a year, if chlorinated as well.  In a container that has been cleaned, with chlorine, first, on top of that.

People think you can just store water away in milk jugs, forever.  Man, will there be a lot of sick people when they find out that doesn't work.  Besides, milk jugs degrade, even hidden away.  But, if they don't?  The water in them would be bad, possibly extremely toxic, after even six months.  You can't clean the milk out well enough to prevent growth.  Don't do that, people!  I'm... saying that for your sake, not mine.

I was a bad boy.

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I ate not once, but twice, outside of my intermittent fasting window.  The first meal was rather hefty, a package of gizzards and a small can of mushrooms.  But I wanted to taste the ribs.  I didn't have a lot of it, but I had... half a pound?  Or so.  Very good.  I was worried blood sugar would be very high, again, today.

As well, I didn't, for the cooking time, get to bed until nearly four?  Three?  Can't remember.  I have a solid headache for it.  And other aches, pains.

Ah, but while blood sugar did go up this morning, it wasn't as bad as I had feared.  It is 174 fasting.  I'll... work on that.

I didn't think it possible.

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Sure, fasting blood sugar was very good, at 154, this morning.  But I doubted it could go down much.  I had the remaining steak, from the two pack of thincut steaks.  As well, coffee, a kefir, and a vinegar tonic.  That was it.  Haven't been able to have a bm, so... meh.  Anyway, I decided to check here before bedtime.

It was lower.  It is 137, a seventeen point drop?  Crazy.  All this time, the elevation was the keto sweetener.  I have been doing without it.  It is difficult.  A few drops in the coffee, or kefir, or both, make both so much smoother.  But, no.  I'm going old school.  I am adding cream to my coffee, but even then, only a dollop, a teaspoon, two on rare occasions.  I wish I could find a sweetener that made it taste better, and didn't cause one problem or another.  I have tried just about everything out there.  This was as good as it got.  Yes, I tried the alcohols too.  (Not drinking alcohol, some sort of sweetener.)

That is the lowest blood sugar read I have had since I was on insulin, and just for a while.  It wouldn't stay low.  Either I would eat something, or go through a phase where I had to eat whatever was on hand, couldn't focus.  And that has been several years back.  Interesting.  I'll keep at it.  Ketavore seems to be working.  Now, when I rarely cheat with a veggie, it isn't like when I cheat with pizza.

And, I have cut my calorie count.  A lot.  Not every day.  But often I only eat a meal, or two, and just small amounts of meat.  I'd like to go on to bed, but I think I will roast ribs, and chicken gizzards, yet tonight.  The ribs may be sliced off, in twos or three, and grilled to heat.  The gizzards?  I may just eat those, perhaps griddling them to a finish.  With mushrooms?  Sure.  It's a bit late, but I am hungry.

A strange new day.

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Up very early.  I let Sassy sleep with me last night for the first time in... I don't know, months?  It won't be a regular thing, but a few times a week?  I didn't get to bed until very late, so was surprised I was able to wake this early, 7:30 or so.

It was 64/67 upstairs, but 64/64 downstairs.  Outside was 50, but had been cooler, probably much cooler, as it was 47 when I went to bed at a quarter after one.  Very strange.  I just haven't see that much of a temperature rise, especially with a thin cloud cover preventing full sun quite yet this morning.  It'll probably make it out, unless more arrive.  But... very odd.

Blood sugar, first thing.  And?  One of the best so far?  So very very different.  It is 154 fasting?  I had two meals yesterday.  But, too, I had kefir... before each meal.  And I had a vinegar tonic after each meal.  The meals were light, two very thincut chops, if with three eggs, the other meal consisting of only one thincut ribeye.  The ribeye, even so, was twice as thick as the chops.  Those were almost just flavor.  And, yes, were bone in, from the rib.  They must have worked that bone saw, all I'm saying.

Good day.

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It was already down to 66, by 18:00?  When I went out to cook a small extra bite.  Two very thin cut chops and three eggs.  Nothing fancy.  Just a dash of salt on the pork chops, and pepper.  Nothing on the eggs, save tobasco.  And a dose of kefir.  All in plenty of time to be within the intermittent fasting window.  Now I'll have a dose of water and vinegar.  Blood sugar had dropped to 154.  I will check after this... just curious if meat will raise blood sugar.

Cleaned the grill a bit after the steak, but really cleaned it up after the chops.  I try to keep up on that, or it could really be a mess in a hurry.  After trying to keep up on pans, this is much easier.  Much, much, easier.  Actually, if I ever get a range hood in, with a fan and vent to the outdoors, and begin cooking in the house again, I'll probably have a lot easier time keeping up on pots and pans, being that I use cast and high carbon steel, or tri-layer stainless.  But that last is very easy care, compared with the others.  Once you learn the tricks of caring for a griddle, you can tend any other sort of pan.  It's the easy way to learn.  Especially cooking on it nearly daily, or two times a day.  And learning how to cook anything and everything cookable on it.

As I was getting ready to cook, the winds picked up.  I was afraid it was going to begin raining.  It didn't, and hasn't.  But still could.  Crazy weather this year.  If I am enjoying it for my part.  The odd thing is, the more comfortable I am, due to weather?  The less I am able to do.  It seems I can only work when miserable.  Crazy, isn't it?

Strange... things.

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Breakfast is going, or the griddle is heating and coffee is brewing, anyway.  A simple steak.  Chops for later, if I want more food.  Two, thin cut, small.  More like tenderloin chops than rib chops?  Probably.  Can never be absolutely certain.

It is just hitting 70 out there, at about 13:00?  Okay.

I was dreaming, recently, a day or two ago, about women being removed from the ministry.  Not even sure why that is a point for me, being Catholic.  I laughed, when I woke.  Knowing the dream must be fiction, for the protestant denominations.  They are what they are, and won't change to the good for anything.  Then... I... read... that it is happening.  Then again, if there was a church which had some potential, it would be that one.  It's... a start.  Strange, to me though.  As I have no connection with that church.  Even back in the day, before Catholicism, it was never quite my gig.  But... there was some small respect for it... distantly.  Until it went woke.

Still going to bed late.

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Thus, waking late.  I technically got to bed at midnight last night, but didn't sleep until one, maybe even two.  Did what I could.  At least I rested a bit, before sleeping.  Working on it, might be losing it.

It got down to at least 46 outside, at about when I went to bed.  So could easily have dropped to 42?  It was 64/67 upstairs this morning.  It is 66/67 downstairs this morning, I think the main is warmer than this front... that is what the different thermometer near my computer is reading.  Odd.  But, with the main of the house connected to a large underground cement and rock mass, it can only cool, or heat, just so much... mostly.  And, it is 61 outside, at a quarter past ten?  Very odd for July 16.  Wow.  But, okay.

Now, as with my mother, I do remember a cooler time when I was younger.  I am pretty sure it just happens.  Cyclically.  It just is what it is, happens as it happens, and we are just along for the ride.  Scientists just wanted to be famous, helpful, useful, but have proven to be the opposite.  Even if they could figure out how to solve it?  By the time they implemented it, it would be going in the opposite direction on it's own, and they would screw it up.  Perhaps they have.

Wasn't able to get the ssd on the ps4.

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Now I can't even get it to boot into safe-mode, with the original hard drive in.  It works, plays games.  But won't let me tinker, at all, beyond.  I have some ideas, but haven't found a way to change what I am thinking might be the problem.  It says I have two accounts on the system, beside my own.  But I can't find them.

They are legit.  One was a guest account, the other was from a friend who signed in to do something or other.  Or play coop back a bit ago?  Something.  But, I can't find them, to even begin attempting to remove them.  I have pulled the update file, for a new hard drive, from online.  And backed up the system, several times, on different drives.  Nothing.  I'll... check into it at some other point in time.

Just... taking it easy today.  Gaming.  I have finished, I think, or nearly, all weapons upgraded (that I have).  And a good deal of wealth stored for advanced games.  Though I will probably run through one more time, as fast as possible.  And, may always come back and play the easy portion, to pick up any trophies or such I otherwise missed.

Failure, again again again.

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Am I getting somewhere?  Maybe.  I won't know until I know.  I have tried three different ways.  All failed.  Then I found something, or looked at something differently.  The requirement was version 10.5.  I... thought ps consoles kept updated?  Apparently not.  So...

This time, I have updated the harddrive, with the main console software.  It is supposed to be to 10.5.  They said I could update online, but that didn't work.  Save to update the already running harddrive, it didn't work with the ssd.  So, right.  I have updated, and am now beginning the long process of backing up the system... again again.

When that is done, I will try to reset the ssd.  But!  While that is working, I will look, again, at the instructions for installing an ssd.  Perhaps there is more too it than what limited instructions are suggesting?  Or... that just... I don't know.  I'll look around just a bit more, see if there is just one more box to check, one or three or ten more things to do.  What a pain.

It was 59, last time I checked outdoors, some hours ago.  It rained a goodly bit, for a while.  Some of it quietly, some of it with rumble, some of it with pitty patting of raindrops.  Odd how it can rain without a sound this time, while next time it sounds like a herd of cats storming around on the roof.  It is right at 64~65 out there.  Sometimes the reading is just too middling to rightly tell.

Ugh, the backups had been taking... eight to twelve minutes.  Since the other update, this one is taking forty minutes to an hour.  Ugh!  I hate that.

Gah!

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First try didn't work.  A lot of time wasted.  Attempted to use an external harddrive for storing the backup.  Nope.  Or, at least, the console couldn't find it.  Albeit, I had used it to store a lot of games, as well.  Okay.  Fine.

So, I fund some flash drives, thumb drives, whatever.  Checked several out.  The problem is, as it was set up, they didn't have enough space for the backup.  So... I removed the shells of the games... the main of them are kept on the ssd.  Then tried.  There was enough space, so I am having it backup to that.  If... it works.

I'll find out after it takes it's pokey time backing up the system.  Then, after I change in the ssd and to a reinstall.  Or... attempt to do one.  It might not work.  This is why people hate working with this crap, at times.  The instructions are clear as mud.  It's more like invocations, some luck, and just chance, whether doing it one way, or another, or the other, will work... or not.  It eats time.  If I want time eaten, it is in playing stupid games, not waiting for a timekiller to become functional.

Old stuff finally being implemented.

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I had... things for the ps4.  For a long time.  Just... couldn't get to installing those things.  An external hard drive, external ssd, and internal ssd.  Well, I finally tinkered and got the external drives working.  Then, had to tear it down to get the cooling problem sorted.  All good.

But, I decided, finally, to install the internal ssd.  Which, hardware-wise, is about a tenth as difficult as a complete tear down.  Actually, only one panel needs to removed (no screws with that part).  Then, one screw to remove the drive sled, then four screw to remove the original (hard)drive.  Then installing the new drive, an ssd, in reverse.

That... isn't what stopped me.  It is backing up that hard drive, then reinstalling that "drive picture" onto the new drive.  Seemed... complicated... programmy.  Not my cup of tea.  Still, seeing what else I did, I decided to hit it today.  So, as I write, the original drive, while still in of course, is being backed up.  Takes... a bit.  But, whatever.  When that is done, all I have to do is shut the machine off, replace the drives, and then start up and put the backup to use by installing on the fresh drive.

Late, is the hour?

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Not as late as it could have, or should have, been?  I didn't get to bed until two.  Up, checking the machine, testing it... pushing it.  The fan never turned on.  Which... could have been a bad thing.  But, if it had been a bad thing, it would have lit up, telling me it was too hot.  It... just didn't get hot.  Will be testing it some more today.

As well, I have some minor tinkering yet to do.  But, that... won't be anywhere near as deep into her guts.  Just a slight surface software and hardware refresh, so she moves even more lithely.  Love it when I can make her dance, and feel like a fresh young thing.  Hmm?  Never... mind.  Just waking from... pleasant dreams.  Women can do that to a man, even an old clunker.

It was 68/69 (latter near me) upstairs, 68/68 downstairs, and is 63 outside.  Cloudy, pretty much full overcast, here at around a quarter after eleven.  I left everything open, hoping it wouldn't get too hot, too early.  And, with it being cool, have opened the front door a crack.