Up!

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Well maybe neither it nor I is all that exciting.  But I was the first to post on my blog since I woke!  Yeah, not so exciting, that, either.  Geez guys.  Oh, pseudo fasting blood sugar... let me see, from 6:00 to 15:00?  Yeah, lets call that a real sleep and this a fasting blood test, it was 179.

Dishes first, then a shower, then the dishes back in for a quick soak.  I checked the stock, it really looks ready.  Finally!  Ugh.  A bit of work was going on off and on through the night, my day.  Boxes, while not taken down, have been collected, sweeping here and there, a bit more sorting and tossing.  Not bad if I have a long way to go.

Today the stock, dishes, and getting trash out, plus any minor little hits.  Dishes and trash are an automatic.  Laundry is vital, though how far I will get is a whole other question.  Smaller loads!  Or I will fall hopelessly behind in folding.  I will never really be great at housekeeping.  I have two paths, though.  Either do what I can, attempt to get ahead then stop doing things OR just give up and go on one of those horder shows.  I choose to struggle on.  If I can get ahead, and then watch my money, I may well hire in help a few times a month.  Or... not.  Good help can't always be trusted.  And, what it might take to keep the place up is a bit more than I can practically afford?  I'll bet they are $20 an hour or more these days.  Even at $10, say at 20 hours a month?  That might be doable, but not at $20 per.  I could afford it, or may pay for it?  Nah, I could afford it, but just barely.  I'll look around, but I'll bet it's all $20 plus.

Oh, right.  Tonight is dinner night!  Meatzza and whatever arrives.  Yeah, I can do parts of each.  Or so my eyes tell my stomach.  Today will see much finally done.  Stock, the end of my first three day fast, nearly the end of dishes, and an almost clean kitchen.  I may get the counters tonight, and some or all of the boxes broken down.  Maybe.  That would sure make a fine start to the week.  Later.

Waiting, or hurrying.

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I keep checking the stock.  I want the top to be solid.  It will get there, just not quickly.  Tonight?  Definitely by tomorrow if I may take a nap between now and then.  I'm not really up to laundry.  I have been sweeping, though.  Clearing more of the kitchen table as well.  Mostly little things.  Boxes and laundry are just a bit too much.  Little things, or even stock just to finish that, sure.

I have looked on amazon for 32 ounce containers, and have them in my basket.  Along with other items.  I finally broke down, this month, and ordered a stereo.  Not a boombox, though not a component system.  Everything is bluetooth and wi-fi today.  I don't want any of it.  I had to hunt and peck to find a shelf system that didn't have flashing lights, if I still can't be sure.  So many things to check... headphones?  Bluetooth.  What type of cd's?  Will it both play and record to thumbdrives?  Does it HAVE a cd?  Radio?  How does it sound?  Can I crank it up, down, how is the middling?  Is there a   I can't really find these systems.  I suppose Best Buy.  They used to, if you didn't buy their insurance (which was useless), take the item back out of view.  It was suggested that they had been told to take it out and drop it.  Or trade it for one that was on the skids and had been brought back.  I don't know how true any of that was, or if it still is.  Though the last time I bought something there, as the cashier grabbed and seemed to be heading off I almost just went out the door... he just, or then, moved it to a place to set it.  Then again, amazon is also trying to sell it's warranty.  That, it is suggested, is where they make their money.  It's a bet, a racket, they can't lose?

The rich and the poor around the world might hate Americans.  I doubt if they have any idea how much, through their actions, that is reciprocated.  Though there are more of them, that was kept in check by tech.  But now the rich have brought more of them in than there remain of us.  This will get bad, probably for everybody.  Online you can never tell which one is truly on which side.  No, not even close to the big names.  Lots of honey-pot traps and haters pretending to be frienders.  Watch your step, friends.  While you might not like what you read here, always... just know that is as true as I know, as honest as I can put it, if too I can change my mind.  And will, and do change my mind.  Of course, I realize that paints a target on me.  As I've mentioned, there has been one on me since before I was born.  If she couldn't hit the target, the world couldn't, and I couldn't...  Still, you are quite welcome to step up and give it a toss.  I wouldn't mind, in one sense.  Save for your soul.  It's a long, long, road back from hell from a murder.

Nap time?  Maybe.  Oh...  I also went through the refrigerator.  I tossed what was bad.  I decided not to toss the yogurt, though I could toss the greek yogurt.  While it is fine for bean soups, especially after fermenting with kefir, I have enough of the other stuff that I don't really need that.  Hmm... though... I wonder...  I ought to test which of the three is better for carbs.  My guess is it will be greek and kefir derived creme fraiche.  I'd bet good money on it, if I were a betting man.  Anyway... nap?  Not quite yet.  Later.

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At 3:26, without anything else in since the cream tea and liquid stevia, blood sugar is at 159.

I would like to nap now, but without having done much more, I believe I will go ahead and do the dishes.  I had been holding off on those until stock, but stock just isn't moving along fast enough.  The dishes and pot in three, then maybe a shower, then a nap.  The shower is optional, though either before I sleep or both then and after.  Just because.  I have lowered the temp on the little refrigerator.  I'll check on it before I sleep, but if the tallow has fully hardened, I will raise the temp just a bit.  Not trying to be tricky, just avoiding freezing it twice... or such.  It's not good for things, and I am done waiting for it.  I don't have the energy to do it and what else I really want to do.  Good... morning, night, nap... not sure.

Testing some things.

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As per my suggestion, I wanted to begin testing various consumption products and mixes.  Being about 'dinner timer', if I was not fasting, and given when I woke, I decided tea with cream and one of the liquid sweeteners would be consumed.  While I was at it, since I had just taken my blood sugar, I would test an half hour after consumption.  My blood sugar did go down a bit, to 190.  What does it mean?  I can't be sure.  I have never had a doctor or dietitian be able to predict.  Not even always was the notion of trend functional for their notions.  Insulin, even eating precisely what they wanted, led to 500 and rising blood sugar.  To bring it down, as discussed, I would drink lots of regular soda or beer.  That just doesn't make any sense.  Though this doesn't, not exactly, either.

Could the liquid sweetener be seen as insulin, so the body lowers production?  Is it that the artificial teases the body into using the insulin?  Foods of any type simply shouldn't have a net negative affect upon blood sugar.  That is against everything I have seen, heard, and read.  As I have suggested, I don't think they know what they are talking about.  Maybe white man's diabetes has nothing to do with indians?  Just being a breed, perhaps I have the genes that make it different.  Doctors seem to be insane, in that they keep trying the same thing, over and over, in spite of it simply not working.  How many indians are on insulin and just slowly losing life, function, limbs, eyesight, and the rest.  How many whites too, though, actually?

I really wonder if medicine is aimed at a very small subset of people and is meant to be harmful to the rest.  Of course, they can easily claim equal access, but to what amounts to poison for all but some.  Seriously, I have such great doubts.  Though, as some have suggested, medicine might be a simple way to eliminate any who are foolish, weak enough, ill enough, or such, to go to them.  At this point I don't have much faith.  Which is why I am attempting to heal myself.  They either can't or won't, and their advice, whether truly honest and well considered or genocidal, is poison.

I am not pretending to know.  I am looking at the data and following where that leads.  From the data, there are only a few directions that could lead.  Neither is all that reassuring.  Which is why I will, one way or another, have to do it myself.  Hate?  Nah, just leave them to what they do and pray for those who put their faith in them.  Though, maybe, they simply target some people for elimination.  I would well be on that list, for a thousand reasons, to one who wishes the government to rule, and has been broken on the wheel of the worldly.

Why do I do that?

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Half way through a three day fast and?  I am reviewing recipes and food items.  Well, it hasn't thrown me off fasting for either the one or two day fasting.  And I can have dinner tomorrow.  Still, I won't say my predilection in these regards is not without a touch of suffering.  So, again, why oh why do I do that?  Ah!

Because I really just plain and simple like

A bit of sleep helps.

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That empty, or dark, or hollow, or mean place I can go when I push... do not worry about it.  It is no more, mostly, than the sum or all my fears.  I am used to fear.  I gird myself in a way, then strive on.  Much as if off the road in muddy conditions, one might switch to 2-high or 2-low and gear down as wanted or needed.  Death, darkness, decay, and what might pass as concern is simply a part of my life, more so when I press beyond the shadows.  I honestly believe I breach the veil in there, mostly of mind or spirit, sometimes of flesh.  Depends whether I can cut acceleration and avoid coasting even then.  Sometimes I willfully go on.  It is, as I have suggested, closer to home than here... or seems it at times.

I pulled the music until I could think.  I will put it back up.  Right or wrong, true or just a story, it is what it is and was sent, if at a time of spiritual wind walking.  Untethered at that, perhaps.  I don't know if they mean to, though I am becoming suspicious, but people seem to take everything as incorrectly as possible.  I have decided that simply isn't my problem.  Choosing to be blind will do you damage though.  I will warn you.  I simply can't be responsible for people with the mind of a child coupled with a vindictive shriveled liar of a soul.  I can see why some things they see here frighten them.  And women weren't made to make sense of the world.  They, simply put, can't.  They, many of them, don't know how or why they ended up with a man.  It's just that the successful ones, when they realize, go with it with gusto.  As much as they can sally.

Sleep really helped.  I think fasting is a boon as well.  I know I didn't sleep enough, I may end up crashing, or hopefully just taking a nap, in six to ten hours.  Today, though?  Hopefully the stock will be ready soon.  I will be pulling the fat off the top, and storing the fat to use in various things, and to maintain my cast iron.  Then I'll have to heat it back up, if it has gelled, but just enough to bring it back to liquid state, then "bottle" it. Mostly in 16 oz., a third or so in 8 oz. containers.  Then, or intermixed, or if it is not ready when I check, laundry.  The hope is to put two through the tubes, at least.  But this time I want to get things folded and put up.  If I can do a runtime that allows all to be done?  I'll go with it.

As well, I may be doing minor things in the kitchen and computer room.  Boxes are the next major item on my agenda.  Another reason to get to town.  As reasons to get to town stack up, so do the odds that I will make it.  I know, probably still too much, but... and?

Fasting blood sugar is 190 (as long as a sip of tea with crystal light doesn't throw that off, had a few sips for the minute leading to the draw.  Hmm... you know?  I have all the tools to test that, I just have to remember to do it some morning.  And do it with different things... tea alone, tea with cream, tea with crystal light, bone broth along, and with cream, then with creme fraiche.  I will just test things).  As I suggested, that is just boondocks crazy.  At least I know it will skip around like a record being played in a white-river raft run.  Still... it still bothers me.  Trend, think... trend.  Gah!

An hour or two to more fully wake, then I'll figure my way around the cave and world again.  Good morning and evening.

Nice, I suppose.

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Something is nice, to be sure.  Not I.  You?  The day?  Ah, perhaps that it is past 11:00 and I am yet up.  Stretched, a bit.  Some days it means nothing, some days it opens something.  Something is open.  I saw a few old tunes, video tunes.  They don't mean much, just... in congregate, a description of what is open?  Maybe.  Life yawns, I merely wish to sleep.  Though some, in their own ways, for this time, know it far more deeply, if all really proves out, than I do.

Hurry and wait.

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While waiting, a middle of the "day"... fasting "day"... blood sugar reading, at 157.  Yeah, that's good, very good.  Fasting, working, and probably what I am eating when I eat, combined, is the real deal.  Even with the extra carb load, which probably is keeping me from ketosis, is still carb lean enough to work with the fasting and effort output.  As I have learned, whether with scale or insulin, ups and downs will happen and won't always make sense.  I just have to let that go, and have faith that the trend will get me where I need to go, that common sense and some blood work by the doctor will keep me on the safer side of things, and then just let it takes it's slow winding ego-hurting way.  Though it should be clear, by now, that smashing my own ego isn't a problem.  Yeah, hurts.  If rightly, it's good.  If not, then that is an indication that I need to toughen up.  All good.

The stock was brought back up to a simmer, and simmered until, to me, it seemed about right.  I then let it cool.  It simply wasn't cooling fast enough, so I put it in the little refrigerator.  I will check it in a couple of hours.  If not ready, give it two or three more hours... if I can avoid timing out.  If it still isn't ready, and I am still awake, I will go on to bed and check it laterer.  Er.  I don't mind pushing into the morning.  As a fact, I plan to do that as far as I can go today, tomorrow, and Monday... and on until I can get in to the post office to pick up a number of packages.  Then I'll back off a bit, if try to use the new window created to do some other office-hour requiring business.

I am hungry.  It is more an empty space hunger than a roaring type.  It is so odd to have this sensation, and to have food readily available from a number of sources, and to not feed.  For so many years, decades, I would be hungry but have no food available, no way to make it, not even food in the freezer or pantry.  Yes, setting food in is not just for disaster... or an external one.  Doom's Day, quite often, hereabouts, is everyday.  See what I did there?

No laundry.  Just... forgot?  Timed out?  Yeah.  All good.  I'll get to that before too long.  And I will get ahead there and stay ahead elsewhere.  I think I will rise quite a ways this time, more than ever before, before drifting downward again.  I... am pretty sure I am on my way to a record, and a nearly cleaned home.  Oh, I ought to, Monday, call about an industrial bin.  That will allow a serious, and fast, reset.  If I can't figure whether to keep or toss I'll just set it aside... for a week.

Anyway.  Later, good morning, and probably good night before too long.

I knew some, not all.

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Even as I child, I knew I was... different.  What does that even mean?  Isn't everybody different?  There is different and there is different.  The difference is scale.  Alone, as is, they seem the same, as do the words.  To the human mind, a million, a billion, a trillion, and more... all, if seen visually, seem the same.  This is the flaw that allows me to seem simply... different.  The magnitude is imperceptible to the human mind.  It perceives, understands, even notes the various areas.  It simply cannot see the magnitude.

I am not the only one.  In some ways, I am far from special.  That I have, in a way, in common with everyone else.  Is a Macintosh more valuable than a Fugi?  It honestly depends on what is being grown in any area, how close that is, perhaps tribal, legal, political, and other limits or involvements, and belief systems.  Yet there is a truth.  Only one.  If someone is known and loved by God, I think that is who would be of greater worth, though that is not something easily seen here.  It might be seen through a man, fruits and all, but it won't necessarily be... supported, condoned, or rewarded here on earth.  Certainly not by those with power.  So, for ultimate valuation, I leave that with God.  It does concern me, mind you.  Especially in these times, when churches are not able to be trusted.  A complication.  The faith I have is good, true I believe.  Simply not the men who seem to be running the institution that is supposed to be supporting the faith.

A faded hope for the night.

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I had hoped to close up shop, getting to bed early... earlier.  It may have been possible.  Some times I can sleep earlier, other times not.  Though waking earlier seems to be much more difficult.  I did bits of this and that, a post and some looking on youtube.  Mostly messing with kefir.  I am working at finding the right balance so as to produce a thick kefir, which has to be left right until the curds and whey separate.  How long that takes depends mostly on temperature, but perhaps also on other factors.  Humidity, barometric pressure, who knows.  Checking it every few hours is usually enough.  With it cooling at night, I think that actually, mostly, puts the cultures to sleep, or slows them down a great deal.

In doing this and that I forgot about the stock.  Lots of work with that.  So... instead of falling back I may end up falling forward in time.  As is I just refilled the pot, adding water to make it near full.  Then I meant to get it back to a simmer, which it should be, or soon.  Then I want to let it cool, take out the last of the bones... the biggest ones were left in to completely soak out, then put it back on the heat, filling it again to near full, then simmering it down to where I believe the taste is what I want.  Well, then letting the stock cool again, packing it into containers, letting those cool a bit more if needed, and finally putting those into the freezer.  Yeah... It'll be a long day.  After I pull the bones, or even while waiting for the stock to cool enough to do that, I might as well hit some laundry, and fold some while the first load washes.  Bleh.

Yeah, I'll... be up for a while.  If I start failing, the extra, smaller, fridge, is otherwise cooled and available.  I can put the stock in there and just pray and crash.  Or the other way around?  I like mixing and matching, never can really plan ahead.  Later.

New cheeses.

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I have been curious about washed rind cheeses for some time.  They are also known simply as stinky cheeses.  The most common one, to my ear... the only one actually, is limburger.  Or, was the only one.  A bit of research has lead me to a number of them.  Actually, there are quite a lot of them, even still in production.  The process for making these cheeses is labor intensive.  Which, in a modern world, even in the Old Countries, no longer works.  Still, some brave or foolish makers either slave on or have come into the market.

I have it that epoisses is a form of the more, if not most, intense of these cheeses. So, if I wish to explore this particular culinary form, I decided to start with that.  As well, I chose several others, and more of the gooder sulamis.  They are supposed to arrive Tuesday.  I suspect, being what they are and some requirements, that they will be on time.  Though, we will see.  Some will be sampled either immediately or after a short time shoring up in the refrigerator.  These cheeses can be runny, and room temperature, even possibly cooler.  I have some hope that the reefer will limit that.

Oh... the truth is my recipe is a mix of two different dishes!  Yeah, I knew that, just... sort of stumbled over the fact in the excitement of realizing I may have it almost all together.  I will be skipping the duck confit.  Perhaps, if I like this a great deal, I may... put the effort into producing my own (though you can buy them pre-done, I just... don't like that idea).  As is, the meats will be the same, I will be using beans instead of potatoes, and... using vinegar for any deglazing.  I have a variety of vinegars, including white and red wine, perhaps champagne vinegar as well.  I will have to plan for this, as it will be a production.  On the good side, I can take it slowly, since I won't be cooking meals in the three days leading up to this production.  Fasting has it's advantages.  Right, the videos.

I won't be starting with epoisse.  I will try the others first.  Further, my plans for the epoisses is diabolical!  I am going to cheese-bomb the cave!  Yes, that cannellini, cured and uncured pork, cheese, and... something else... casserole?  Right.  I have the beans, I have the cured bacon and uncured ham (smoked though), and... will have the cheese.  I'll look around for the recipe, perhaps put it below this paragraph if I can find it quickly.  Far too much for me alone.  I will ask if Neighbor would care for a sample.  Not sure the children would be all that interested, if you never know.  Then again, I am not sure the parents will bite.  I will set it up so that it will be ready for my first night off fast, so I have two nights in a row in which to consume what of it remains.  If I really like it, and they aren't curious, I will attempt to freeze portions.  Still, it is wonderful to share, if simply not intrusively.

Never what it seems, never enough.

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I decided to give the stock more time.  Of course, not until after cooling, straining several times back and forth, then putting it all back into the pot and onto the heat.  Which means washing a bunch of things.  Now, that is fine.  There were things that had to be removed; smaller bones, chunks of fat, bits of meat.  Those latter were well spent and would simply have crumbled or worse if left in.  It sounds like an easy task.  It isn't as it sounds.  Though perhaps I make more work than is needed.  So do most beginners, I would think.

Then on to the ham and bean soup.  Being cool, so easier, draining the fluid so I could find the bigger hunks of meat, then tearing those apart so as to more evenly split it all out, was the first task.  Then splitting up the beans, meat, and liquid as evenly as possible was next.  I did well, only the last 16 ounce container was more liquid than the others.  The rest were amazingly evenly split out.  You know, I think those containers are perfect for my needs.  I am not so sure about the 8 ounce ones.  Though, really?  That might be just right for a portion of stock in with water and other ingredients.  Why not more stock into a bean casserole or beef stew?  Because it is a lot of work to produce stock.  If you have two cooks, perhaps.  Take turns, and bi-weekly, making various stocks twice a month and then using it in various things and for daily.  Maybe the 8 ouncers will stay.  But I'd also like to buy more 16 ounce, and a brick or two of 32 ounce containers.  Oh, the 8 ounce containers would be great for mayo, dressings, and creme fraiche.  Yeah.

So, after the soup was stored, a bunch more dishes.  Something I haven't always indicated is just how many dishes a seemingly simply project can produce.  Two large pots, a chamois or other strainer, utensils, may a lid, and... other things.  And, yes, I have been staying up on those things.  Having worked so hard to get where I am I would absolutely hate to fall behind again.  Scrub and brush and wash and rinse and dry and again.  It does keep me from dozing or slacking or those other things.

My first day of fasting beyond the daily and I am hungry.  It isn't terrible, just over there on the edge.  While shredding the ham, I... had to stop myself, several times.  Sometimes it was a particularly becoming piece of ham, sometimes it was just a bit of juice on my hand which I thought should not be allowed to go to waste.  Sometimes it was just a thought, other times it was a very close call.  Oh, I made it through with nary a taste of guilt.  I do believe, however, that a cup of stock... the last I have so I hope this other works out, with a d. aaa. sss. h. of cream might help settle things.  I need something, anyway, when taking the potassium pill.  Empty stomach and those don't work well.  Not sure why I couldn't take the stuff the V.A. offered, but it was totally different and was harsh.  And their powder was completely unpalatable.  I honestly think they meant to use those things.  They loved ordering us to take things most of use couldn't handle.  Yeah.

I don't know if I will get to much more.  Maybe some laundry, maybe not.  My feet are doing much better, in all ways.  What of my medicine I am taking is going down regularly and well.  Vitamins, minerals of my own sort, and supplements, plus the rest, is all working together well enough.  I have pushed, so will need to relax a lot.  Not just a bit, not for a day.  A couple of  days of more simple and much less.  I am hoping the bits I am doing will be okay.  I'll know in a few days.  Oh, and if I can catch some zzz's?  I will.  I'm not worried about when.  If I need it, and see the opportunity, I will take it.  Fasting might help with that, which might help me get back to days quicker, one way or the other.

Later.

The winter of my intermittent fasting.

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Yeah, another book.  Maybe.  Oh, and to start out, fasting blood sugar is 232.

Exhausted, sore.  I have pushed far too hard, far too long.  Even when I figured out how to apply the breaks, I didn't always do it, or do it as well as wisdom dictated.  Pushed.  Shoved.  Worked.  Stayed up long.  Slept little.  What I did was great.  But there is a price.  I am paying it.  I will get the ham and beans stored, I will get the stock put up.  I might even do laundry.  But all the little bits just have to stop for a while.

On the good side, as eluded in the title, I am on the long days of my fasting cycles.  Not just two days this time, but three days.  Which means I won't be falling behind in the kitchen.  With a little bit here and there, I might get slightly ahead.  I must have fallen somewhere, as I am already hungry.  Yeah, I'll have to fix things.  For one thing, I will be backing away from some of the potassium rich foods.  Greens, vegetables, and yogurts.  While I believe they have made life doable, they are also carb heavy.  They were only, ever, a temporary fix.  Even if I have to add an extra potassium pill, so be it.  Controlling diabetes, and even losing weight down to a reasonable weight, are ahead of consuming potassium through native foods... which is a fools errand in any case.  I was merely, until large amounts of potassium was available, doing what I could.  It was never a goal or a plan, just a hail Mary.  And, it seems to have worked.  At least it didn't really raise my blood sugar too much.  One of the projects, between now and my next feeding, is to remove high carb foods, and generally go through my reefer for old and dated.  Anything I can save might be worked and stored...  I don't mind cabbage, it's good in many ways.  A little higher in carbs, but doable... much as with onions and perhaps garlic.

I wasn't able to sleep early.  Nor was I able, as this post is shortly after my waking, able to get up early.  I won't say it is the daily fasting.  It was simply that I still have limits, from the bad heart, maybe from diabetes, and I exceeded those by a massive amount.  If anything, the fasting helped.  I do have more energy while fasting, if for my other problems I can't always use it.  I slept so long I have some soreness just from sleeping.  The rest of the soreness is from using muscles to their exhaustion, from bending, lifting, push, pulling, carrying, and all.  And it's wonderful... other than messing up my sleep.  I had hoped I would be able to turn the clock back.  Not sure that is possible.  But I have to be to the post Monday.  Had meant to be there today.  Forgot as much as overslept... not sure how to make it happen, either.  Bleh.

Three days of fasting, eh?  And while having reverted to carb burning a bit?  Yuck.  Still, that's the plan.  It may fail.  Or it might end up being great.  Some fasters achieve euphoria from the fasting.  I have noticed an energy boost, sometimes, but not a sense of great joy or freedom or such.  If I generally haven't felt bad.  Sunday afternoon will be my next meal time.

As to legs and feet?  Doing well.  Even if my blood sugars are staying a bit higher than I would like, my thirst has decreased.  Some of that may be due to cooler temps.  At least in here.  It does, or can, get up to 75, but for most of the day it is more at 70~73.  I could probably keep it there if I could remember to shut windows down before the heat of the day kicks in.  Currently, only being awake at those times to stumble through the cave on the way to the bathroom, or to let Sam out, and without a huge incentive, I just don't know.  When I was terrified, because leaving the windows open meant it got to 80 or higher in here, yeah, damn straight I remembered, even in zombie mode.  This just isn't that, 70~73 versus 72~75 just... doesn't get knickers twisted, sister.

Well... on to something.  Good day.

White beans and ham, oh my.

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To be honest, there is nothing like ham from the butchering of a whole hog set with homecooked, from dry, beans.  You could figure spices and herbs, you might add onions (though while I love garlic I don't see it in this dish), and there are many other additions, from cheese to cream to creme fraiche which could be added.  At it's core it is more than sufficient.

I was set to have three variants.  A soup with greek yogurt, just beans and ham twice; one with kefir creme fraiche, one with plain yogurt creme fraiche.  As it turns out I could only handle two dishes, the first and the last.  I wasn't sure, as bland as the greek yogurt c.f. was, whether it would even be as good as regular cream in the soup.  It actually was, and I would even claim that it was even better.  It didn't taste any better out of hand, but did a really good job in the soup.  The yogurt derived c.f. was good, but not as good as I had hoped.  Odd how things work out.  Still, no complains, just... leaving cooking or more tasting notes.

I was also wrong about the ham and beans not cutting it.  I shouldn't have thawed other meat.  Sometimes I just make a bad call.  Now I have a three day fast, a large container of beans and ham, and meat enough for two days.  What was I thinking?  Though I'll say this, I would much rather have too much food, even if some has to be tossed, than to have too little... more as I change food types and consumption periods.  A mistake in there can really put a monkey wrench in things.  I may attempt to sort the beans, broth, and ham into containers.  Then freeze those, with time and date.  I am not sure if that freezes well, for how long it will stay good, and all.  There is only one way to learn.  It isn't just an attempt at the foolish, I think the best learning is from going on into the foolish.  So... there I go.  I will read what others have done, what can help, and how long they think it lasts.

Learning new things in the kitchen often.  And other places.  It's a strange world out there.  No shower, no laundry... probably about to let it all cool down, might put some beans up or into one of the refrigerators, then on to bed when my stomach pops back into some kind of humanish shape again.  Boy that was good.  Later or good night.

Three hours?

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A long nap, but needed it.  Could have been much worse.  Expected worse when I went down.  Five hours wouldn't have surprised me.  I was neither going to push nor shove.  Though, if anything, when I woke I just got up rather than think about it... or I might not have gotten up.  I had to use the ac.  While it is cooling, it isn't that cool in the day, less so with steam from stock and probably some residual heat from working with the beans.  All good though.  Some days naps simply aren't a choice.

I immediately... did something.  And then something else.  I think I did, say, five or six things.  No clue what they were, but nothing caught on fire or exploded, and everything looks right as I cruised the kitchen area recently, looking for 'my bad's.  The stock seems to be doing well, I know I added water to it.  I put the beans and ham into a pot, got it to a boil, turned it down to a simmer, and am still finagling that to a mild simmer.  That back burner is a tricky witch.  What all else I did I cannot say.  Well, I did go out to say hello to Sam, walking up the drive to check for packages on the front porch, but also to give her attention.  She loves laying on the hot pavement or cement walk, having me rub/scratch one side of her back, then rolling, having me do the other, and keeping me involved as long as she can.  Just DON'T touch the BELLY!  Fine, mostly.  Being have awake, raking her belly because she likes flipping like a fish on... a... well... hot sidewalk was bound to happen.  I think she noticed the lack of a brain wave response at moments so, mostly, forgave.  This time.

When the ham and beans have gone for an hour, I'll test.  I might pull the ham, shred it when cool, and let the beans go until they are done.  I am interested in trying a bowl of that, and the stock, with one of the creme fraiche experiments.  Since it didn't seem much more than regular heavy cream, I may just add the greek yogurt one for that mini-main dish.  The others will have a purer flavor and texture without being literally watered down in the process.

A shower, laundry, some dishes...  That's the goal yet for tonight.  The stock will go until tomorrow, then will be filled, brought to a simmer, run until I sense the flavor to water is right, then shut down and allowed to cool until it can go in the fridge.  I am hoping number three will work.  Next week I hope to do another chicken stock process.  Hey, I go through that stuff pretty fast as a daily consumption.  And will more so as I start using it in soups and stews.  I was too low to add anything in this bean mess, but would like to add stock, of either sort, in things like this going forward.  Oh, and I really hope to be to bed early tonight.  Early being 20:00 ~ 23:00.  I am almost in the sort of shape in which I might actually turn my clock back.  Because it defies my history, my way of thinking, and else, it is going to be a bear.  It is unlikely to succeed.  May be unpossible.  But... that don't confront me none so long as I get paid next payday.

Blood sugar is 217 (not fasting, been sampling things all day, a messy time to test, but normal for the last several days ~ my bad).  That is because between not eating large enough dinner meals, and further messing things up by sampling experiments, I am off-track.  I will... endeavor to persevere.  By the way, other than the first five or so posts in the "Health" label, only posts with blood sugar and possibly weight, are included under that label.  I was beginning to find it too difficult to track my blood sugar and weight otherwise.

Oh, right.  Later.

I really wanted a nap.

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I'll still get one, shortly.  The thing is, if I was going to do what I want done, I had to do a bunch of other things to get... yeah.

The stock.  I wanted to check the meat on the bones.  I might as well not have.  I keep thinking it was in for hours, when it must have only been in for a few hours.  I'll have to set the stock going earlier, and then be right on top of it, if I want to salvage meat.  Why did I get that confused?  Ah, because I am exhausted... if currently for no apparent reason.  It might be playing catchup with recent events though.  Play today, pay tomorrow, and it's simply tomorrow.

Before I could do the stock transfer, I had to wash a number of items.  All good, I needed some of those items for other projects.  And I'd like a shower before too long, if after the nap is fine.  After that, I decided to also work the beans for dinner tonight.  While doing a faux pre-soak of the beans, using the pressure cooker, I realized the ham would not fit the cooker.  So... after the beans, I put those in a medium stock pot.  When the ham is finished thawing, I'll begin that... right after I wake from my nap most likely.  Bits and pieces, and this and that, and... just want a nap!

I fed the girls earlier.  I did have a cup of bone broth with creme fraiche.  I think the creme fraiche is wasted on the bone broth.  Though I will try the plain yogurt version tomorrow.  Though if nothing else, it might be a way to preserve my favored creme fraiche and use the greek yogurt version up.  Tastes pretty much just like cream.  Maybe heated it undoes the fermentation?  It wasn't bad, it just wasn't special.

Lots and lots of things yet to do.  Things I want to do.  Things I need to do.  I just can't seem to keep kicking.  Tired.  Partly cloudy and cooler, and maybe some weird or different weather pattern.  I am susceptible to that.  Ugh.  Nap time.  Then, I hope, back to it.

A good sleep.

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I didn't get to bed until later.  Much later than I planned, and then hoped... two different times... I aim at practicality if think I can get beyond that sometimes... thus hope.  I think it was 1:30, maybe 1:00 at the earliest.  I saw 1:30, but can't remember which clock.  If it was the computer it was the latest time... or the cellphone/wall clock then it was in-between... if it was the alarm, then it was 1:00.  My computer, wall clock (which receives a signal from the atomic clock), and cell phone all used to be the same, for years, until... a week or two ago.  Now the computer is about 12~14 minutes earlier than the other two.  I'm not sure which one is correct.  I then woke at 8:30 (but by my alarm clock, which is either ~30 or ~17 minutes fast.  Bleh.  Yeah.

First thing was to let Sam out.  She wanted to go earlier.  I checked the temp, outside, at... I think around 22:30?  It read in the middle 40's.  I didn't want to let her out until the sun was up, warming things.  Who knows how cold it got.  I'll have to start watching that.  I don't notice the 40's, but even just that is colder than I like to let her out in, at least if I may sleep long.  Then I checked the stock.  More water was needed, two 8-cup containers.  I turned off the heat while I was at it, and will be pulling and checking the oxtail meat shortly.  If it is good, I'll pull it all, take the meat, then put the bones back and set it all back to a simmer.  I will just simmer it for about another 24 hours... then get it down to a flavor I think will work.

I have dishes to do, including the other big stock pot.  Having two large stock pots makes straining to pull meat or bone so much easier.  You can use a spider, but that doesn't ensure you got everything, and doesn't help when actually wanting to filter smaller particles out.  As well as dealing with meat from the stock, I need to do a bit of work with kefir.  And I will sample the creme fraiche creations, which I considered finished last night, so refrigerated.  After a raw sampling, I may try some of my favored in a cup of chicken stock.  With the ham and beans, I will try a sampling of each creme fraiche... turn that dish into three dishes, one of a soup, two of just beans and ham, with a bit of the various options on each portion.  My job now is to decide which ones I would use, and for what.

With creme fraiche, it seems as if the yogurt variety would work better with desserts, as it lends itself to sweetness.  However, if looking to cut carbs and still have a dessert, it might be wise to instead use the kefir version, saving the yogurt type for dishes that otherwise might have no carbs?  Plenty of time to figure it all out.  I've only got the rest of my life.

I'm not sure what else I said I would be doing, save laundry.  I need to wake first, but laundry is on the list after I deal with dishes and stock meatbones.  Then a shower.  I have items at the post, but have one more item, at least, arriving tomorrow.  I will do all that then.  I just can't make it to the post every day.  So... it will have to wait.  Good morning and day.

A day of rest, mostly.

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No surprises.  It has taken me several days to back things down enough to rest a bit.  Oh, I needed it.  Not pain, or health risks, just... too much, too fast.  I am finding myself, more often, in places stuck between crashing and doing far too much.  Like learning to ride a bike but either not knowing about or being a bit afraid of using the breaks.  In this case it is a bit of both.  It is so rare that I have been able to push like that this that I simply don't know how to apply the breaks.  I don't have a method of slowing with which I am confident.  Beyond, I am afraid that if I apply the breaks I will stop, fall, and who knows how long it might take to rise.  I do rise, or have so far.  But it can take a long time.  Even as I have improved, the fear of a hard long spill haunts me in ways you can't understand.  It's been years since I have gone down for months and months, gotten up for just a bit, and fallen again, and again, and again, and again.  But the memories are horror inducing.  You can't know what that is like.  Most who go down like I was going down don't get back up.  What some call a grace can easily be called a horror.

Still, I was able to moderate, a bit.  Some dishes, some cooking and tending of food items, and the stock is going.  I even attempted to call my doc.  He is back but busy.  I am wondering if this travel was unplanned.  At least he knows I called.  Hopefully he knows I have been trying to call.

I was a bit afraid of getting the stock going.  I had to get rid of the old, weak, stock.  I wasn't sure how much work that would be, if I was up to it, or where to dump it.  Being spent doesn't help... with faith or with thinking things through.  Still, finally, I was sure I wanted it done today, so just pushed through from the front end which I hoped would force the middle play... of tending the pots.  It did.  It was far easier than I had thought.  At eight to nine gallons, weighing more than water at eight and change, that is 48 to 54 pounds, plus the pot.  Still, that is nothing for me, even in my exhausted current state.  Even two such pots and a hundred yards total travel wasn't a thing at all.  More a nuisance.  Just like trash.

I hope to do a bit more tomorrow.  Keeping up on the stock, probably storing the creme fraiche, doing an adjustment or two with the kefir, a couple of loads of laundry and folding some towels, and a bit more work in the kitchen.  Not much more, hopefully not less.  Just a simple runtime.  If I do anything else, it might be a business call or two.  It will be even better if I can sleep well and get to sleep early tonight.  Currently I am just timing out the simmer set of the stock.  Getting it up to heat currently.  After I get it to a rolling or full boil I will turn it down, and, hopefully, after a check in an half hour if it is doing well, be able to go to bed.

Good night.

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By the way, after asking several people, it seems I do not have bad breath.  Hmm... odd.  I could have sworn I did.  Not that I could smell it, more a strange taste.  All good, not complaining, just...  Then again I am not sure I am in ketosis.  I think I was getting there, then something threw it off.  It is a delicate process.

Something else?  If I am going to diet, I simply cannot go light on my meal.  I have to hit it, hard, fully, and ensure that I don't have even a bit of hunger, then snack later, or even have another minor meal.  If I fail to do this I will fail in fasting.  EAT lad!  Or do not fast.  Failing to do so will be far worse than overeating that once.  For I will not be able to stop grazing.  Just a warning to intermittent fasters, regardless if you use keto or no other diet plan.  EAT when it is time.  That will tend itself, but you must tend your hunger until the fasting and weight of nature automatically pulls your foot off the pedal.  Just trying to pass on what I learn, as I learn it.  Yeah, EAT.  Or don't fast.  Which reminds me, I need to thaw meat.  Beans won't be enough, even with ham.  Ham is simply too weak of a meat, for me.  But will make a good appetizer meal with beans.

Creme fraiche update.

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It has been cool today.  The thermometer inside, at about 14:30, indicated 73 and change (F).  Okay, that's as cool as the cave has gotten on the coolest of evenings after several cloudy days all summer.  So, yeah, that is cool.  I checked outside, just in the mid 70's during what is usually at or nearing the hottest time of the day.  So, yeah, cool.  Which means things that ferment will ferment a little slower.

No worries.  I shook each jar, then stirred the contents (each with their own, and plastic, spoon... metal can disturb or kill some of these active... things... bacteria?).  I created a little tasting board from a paper plate and the spoons.  Now, this is my take.  Without eating sugar much, I must remind, plain yogurt tastes sweet.  So my taste senses are worked differently than many, most I'd wager.  Still, here it it.

The greek yogurt creme fraiche was... absolutely bland.  I'm thinking cardboard has to have more flavor.  I am hoping that improves, dubious but hopeful.  I was both right and wrong about the plain yogurt creme fraiche.  It is, probably, what would be most popular with most people.  It is creamy and wonderful, if a bit sweet.  Most people like or love sweetness and can't handle mature foods.  Cool, just facts, and true.  I'd use it without a worry, myself.  And will use it.  Oh, by the way, the greek was not only without any real flavor, it didn't seem creamy or textured either... it... just... was?  Finally, the kefir creme fresh.  I was happily amazed with this one.  I thought the greek would be next.  Nope.  This was, to my tastes, tops.  For maturity of flavor, for a balance of notes, and number of them, and more for a dry sophisticated taste.  Creamy and good.  This is the one I will normally use.  However, if I don't happen to have enough kefir or am traveling, I would happily make plain yogurt creme fraiche and not be embarrassed to share it out.

What to use it for?  I am thinking of making a cup or two of white beans, then adding ham to it for dinner tomorrow.  As a sort of topping, I am thinking I will try the kefir creme fraiche.  The next time I go to the store I am hoping to find local peaches or cherries.  I do believe, whether fresh or baked, topped with the plain yogurt creme fraiche and I will have a winner.  I truly enjoy tinkering with things I had or even only recently have learned about.  Oh?  You know, a little creme fraiche in hot coffee or tea, or to enrich hot cocoa?  Yeah.  Or even added to bone broth, to... add fat, and enliven, instead of cream, on the ever other day routine as is.  Hey, it's not difficult to find a place for good things.

I am currently roasting bones for another shot at broth.  I had hoped to do them earlier.  Though this might work out better.  I will set them to roasting before going to bed, shortly, tonight.  Then take the meat oxtail bones out between when I wake and noon tomorrow, depending on flavor and texture samples.  Then let the rest of it cook until, probably, tomorrow morning.  I have enough for just one pot.  I hope I get this one right.  Oh, I best get to it if I wish to retire early tonight.  Good evening, and night.

Many of the old ones still know no better.

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The story goes that the old ones, old gods to some, still live.  Some were, perhaps still are, powerful.  Some suggest that God threw them down, several times.  That they know man is different, but not how.  That they don't even know God, most of them it is said cannot know Him.  A culmination of flesh and spirit rather than flesh and soul... a corruption aimed at the last, and only, true heir to the throne meant for the Son of Man.  Stories, all.  Not just Christian, or Jewish, but from all the true religions, even corrupted into the false religions.  Music which might help some know with whom they work at times.

Down late, up late.

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Like it or not, as the sun waxes so goes my world.  Sometimes I can keep up, sometimes not.  The last few days, even if I am still doing some things, has been difficult.  I did burn out a bit, though, too.  Fair enough.  It sure seems cooler out there.  The days are getting shorter.  Less sunlight.  No complaints.  I'll keep doing what I can, as I can, and when I can.

I reset the kefir jugs today.  I haven't touched the potential creme fraiche jars yet.  They need at least, as things cool, a full day, or until I see something happening, changes.  I am beginning to have about four ounces of kefir every other morning.  Raw, or at least without any additions.  And, I believe, when I begin fasting more heavily, I will have that right before my meals, every other meal.  As well, I will soak, from time to time, meats in it.  As well, any grains I may choose to indulge.  For vegetables I would rather use kefir water.  Not the kefir made from water grains, but water from milk kefir grains allowed to eat almost all of the lactose from the milk, leaving a watery portion.  Yes, it can be a tad confusing for the uninitiated.

Beside messing with three or four jars of the stuff at various stages, I got rid of the beans.  Now that I have white beans to use, that will be my mainstay.  When I finish cleaning the pot I will begin a mess of white beans.  Probably only a cup, actually.  I only have two nightly meals until I begin the long fast.  Any food item in the fridge at that time gets tossed.  A cup of dry beans makes a lot of cooked bean.  I am thinking, tonight, white bean soup, with spinach, cream, salt, and pepper.  Well, as one course.

I am hoping to get the dishes sorted, work for a bit on boxes, then sort and begin on laundry.  Any tidbits around the edges, say more clearing of the kitchen table, more sorting of new and old mail, sweeping, or various other cleaning and clearing projects, is all good.  Just because I am not feeling the best is no reason not to continue as strongly as I may.  Love to work, when I can.  Later.

Homemade creme fraiche?

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I have heard that it is possible.  Mixing two teaspoons per pint of one of several ingredients with whole or whole whipping cream, then letting it ferment through for 12 to 24 hours.  The more recent items I have heard being used are plain greek and regular plain yogurt.  The other thing I have heard, I am almost sure, was kefir.  The reason kefir might not be mentioned today is because it is so out of common use.  It is a fermented item, so may really work just as well.

Now, while I have had creme fraiche, I have never had it in such a manner as to be able to identify it by taste and texture on it's own.  So this will be a preference on it's face thing, not a true comparison.  Do I like this one better than that?  Is there a difference at all?  Even the question of whether the flavor of the most preferred is worth even the minor hassle?  Which one do I think will win?  Well... I never!  Yeah, actually, I already considered that.  I am betting on the plain regular yogurt.  It is simply sweeter.  Then again who knows.  As well, I doubt if I will live it at one test.  If I ever happen to see creme fraiche, I may make purchase of the product to taste, compare.  Even if it goes over my price concerns, give that it will be a one time purchase, or even a few times if various brands are available.  On the other good side?  The greek yogurt was looking sad, so I brought a bowl of it in and am... nursing it.  It's what a boy has to do for his potassium anyway.

Yes, I... yes, mother, I...  Yes, I labeled them.  I really thought I could remember.  Then I realized how sleepy I had gotten and realized, tomorrow, I would have no clue.  Masking tape and a permanent marker will keep them straight.  Oh, first use?  Just in a bowl of bean soup.  Nothing fancy at all... well... the favored one will be used, or the one I think will work the best in that.  Yeah.  Food is completely, or nearly, subjective.  It isn't even statically subjective.  What I like one day I may not the next.  We are insane.  Just saying.

I'll know tomorrow afternoon.  Uhrm... tomorrow evening.  You'll be next to know  after me.  Not sure it's really any good.  Many people put stock in the expensive or exotic, but maybe really shouldn't.  Some things are merely traditional, but without having... hmm... any reason to be so except that, at one time, someone decide to include it?  Still, it's not great expense or difficulty to experiment, to try something new.  Yeah, I'll let you know.  Good night.

Just a spot on beans.

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I went looking for more information.  While I did not find all the information I was seeking, so will continue to look, perhaps updating this page with it, if I find it, then shuttling this to the front page, I will tender what I did get.  What I could not find was whether pressure cooking was enough to truly open the bean up to releasing it's nutrients, as soaking does.  The information I did find, was the pressure cooker timing for various beans, with several other bits of good data, such as elevation affects upon cooking time.  For example, at about where I am, it's right between 15 and 20 percent extra time.  I could... calculate it exactly.  But I have found that cooking is an inexact science.  I do believe, once I get used to the correct doneness of an item, I rely less upon my eyes, after learning to rely even less upon time, and then just can smell or... sense... when it is done.  Still, I'll... tinker with times.

One thing I found, as a problem that exhibited in my last bean mix?  Lima beans cook much more quickly than most other beans, certainly quicker than the pintos, by almost half the time.  So?  So my lima beans were in pretty rough shape.  As I foray into bean mixing I will keep that in mind.  And, no, it by no means suggest that I cannot cook lima and pinto beans together.  It just means, if I want them each done correctly, that I will need to do a little more leg work.  Start with the pinto, cook those until the difference in cooking times is mostly accounted, then cool that and add the lima beans, letting them finish in that last bit.  It's extra work.  And for a mostly dead ogre, extra is always a lot.  It means something else, something probably more vital, will not get done.  Still, to play with my food that would be the only way.  After sampling more beans, and making little notes, I may begin going at it more intently.  Just until the next thing comes along?  Yeah.

The next, next, time I make beans, I am hoping to have created creme fraiche.  I will try it with plain yogurt and with kefir, in whole cream.  As I said, I have had no success finding true butter milk.  Maybe one of the whole food stores might have it, but... then it goes to price.  I'm already pushing my price thing with cream.  And yet, for me, cream is necessary, more so than ever.  It adds fats enough with all else, fats I couldn't easily replace without it.  To think, my diet really was so close, naturally.  Even to starvation if I like it in the more recent controlled sort of fashion.  Just... so... close.  Ah well, I am here now.  If I can fix this dread dragon breath.  Soon... one thing at a time.

Bon appetit.

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Ah-ha!  I was going to listen to a bit of music, then I thought, you know... maybe one more try with youtube search?  Sure.  Can't hurt to quash my ego a bit more.  Yeah, it shouldn't.  Failure, however, is failure.  Still, how you can you be humble if you don't fail, fail again!  Yum.  In spite of my doubt, the vid popped right 'chere.  No one Ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!  Or, uhrm, a vid on a question about beans.  Your pick.  So, here is the info.  And, my question was a good one.  For the answer you will have to watch on your own.

The hunt for potassium continues.

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A bean I overlooked because, well, because, is adzuki bean.  Why, oh why?  In part, I think, it is because it looked like an exotic name.  As with shiitake mushrooms, I worried that the cost would be prohibitive.  After a bit of research, however, maybe not.  If I can find it, and find it other than organic.  Organic adzuki are over my budget per pound.  Non-organic, from what I have seen, are well under my cost per pound limit.  Further, unlike mushrooms which shrink, beans get larger.  I would be getting more cooked volume than per pound by double or triple.  Doable.  Now to find non-organic adzuki beans that aren't grown in China.  Amazon has completely sold out, and will not give out that kind of information.  The distributor?  I don't care who distributes.  Another Illinois company, by the way, the adzuki beans of the package I reviewed.  Why is are so many Chinese foods and other ingestibles being sent through Illinois?  Hmm... mafia is there, only corrupt politicians, it's pretty much bankrupt, ripped apart it's economy feeding public and private unions...  I suppose repackaging poison food is all that it can do, and it has shown no compulsion to cut the throat of anyone it can make a buck off.  Yeah... I'll look next time I am in town.

The bean is rather amazing.  Small, but easy to digest and with pretty stout numbers in the things I need, from the B vitamins to electrolytes with an A+ in potassium.  It cooks quickly.  The suggestion to soak dry beans... I need to look into that.  It seems there may be more than just softening in prep for cooking.  There may be things which need to be worked out of the bean, things which inhibit digestion.  Why look into it?  Because I was hoping to use the pressure cooker to make quicker work of beans.  Why eat good nutritious beans if you don't open them up to releasing all the good stuff?  Though perhaps the pressure does that.  Dunno, want to know, will check.

Light body aches.  Back, ribs, and that general gurgling from a percolating interior.  Nothing fancy, or too much to handle, just dues for good deeds.  And I'll take them.  Dinner is nearing.  Not sure what I have on hand.  I had really thought of mixing lima and kidney beans in the electric pressure cooker.  Both of those have a good amount of potassium as well.  And I want to try different bean combinations.  I just think there are odd mixes that will taste superior somehow.   Just strange complimentary profiles that defy logic.  I like looking  for those, and finding them.  It takes a lot of mediocre, or worse, meals.  And yet, here I go... if the pressure cooker thing pans out.  Pun is a give or take, if intended only incidentally.

Later.

What you face.

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This isn't in China, India, Iran, Brazil, or Australia.  It's in Canada but the business is with America primarily.  If you want inclusion, you want equality, you want fairness?  Guess what?  To those in charge, it means you get nothing.  Boycott?  Nah, just stop buying their products, or understand they have decided you, as a white, are less than a second class citizen.  Remember, they made this man their mouthpiece, as a company aiming it's products at Americans.  Watch the language?  Are you fucking kidding me?  If you can't handle that, stop and go away.

h/t Vox Day

I was close to buying Deus Ex, hadn't read about this.  Mass Effect?  Something was wrong, never could finish the second game, dumped the whole line.  I love saving money.  Especially while keeping it out of the hands of true racists.  He might not want the man's job.  Me?  I want him expelled back to whatever shit third-world country he belongs.

Back up, if not quite at it.

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I went down shortly after that last post.  I'm never sure about the time stamp, so I won't say it was as posted.  Sometimes there is several hours between that and the actual local time.  It was just right at normalish morning when I finally went down.  I woke several hours ago, without too much complaint.  I woke but wasn't fully awake, is all.  I am just sort of peeling back the last layer of sleep.  If you have ever soaked in a bath, and had it peel off pain, as that last little bit goes away, that is how it feels.  Only, just sleep.  If I hurt I am even yet not quite aware.

Someone rang the doorbell sometime this morning.  And then a call, a bogus auto mechanical insurance policy.  They had the balls to leave a message.  Just make sure, if you are wondering, to get their actual name, underwriter, etc... then call three mechanics and ask if they have ever worked with these companies.  Yeah, save your money, trust me.  They don't cover much, and what they do cover... it is so difficult to work with that you end up forced to pay it and you never see a return.  No, not me.  Others.  The one time I thought about it I followed my own advice.  Though, after nailing them on their name and such, they never called back.  Who was at the door is anybody's guess.  Sometimes they send someone through offering satellite or other programs.  I don't watch television, don't need or want almost anything someone might sell or offer.  Couldn't roll to even see out the window for that though.  Unusual just not totally strange.

The kitchen is really shaping up.  Today is more a day of rest.  I would like to do a few things, just not all that much.  Perhaps sorting even boxes, a number from several areas, getting them pulled, torn down, and stacked to go to town when I next go.  Perhaps more work on the kitchen table.  Maybe, no, definitely a shower.  Ugh.  I'd really like to get some dishes in.  Dishes?  I mean laundry.  I don't have dishes left, yet.  :p

I only have one pair of pants that officially fit now.  A single solitary pair of 38's.  More?  I am pretty sure the weight will begin coming off at a reasonable rate.  So.... next month I will order another pair of 38's and two pair of 36's, as well as at least one belt.  Perhaps in 36.  The belt I have, while it looks sloppy at 38, and I had to punch four holes and am down to the third, it will work.  And there is room for more holes, so...  Yeah, the tail is getting long, but there are places to tuck that.  I will be honest, the goal is a 34 waist.  The weight goal is what it takes to get that waist.  But all of those, of course, are subject to blood sugar.

Oh, do you know what they call keto-breath?  Dragon breath.  *grins*  Yeah, I'm still sorting to see if what I have is keto or protein excess based.  If that latter, intermittent fasting should help and will please my doctor most likely.  Though, nothing really pleases a doctor until you are safely in the ground!  :p  About as bad as clergy.  And mothers.  And many others.

Yeah, no sleep.

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Some rest.  Back to it, or sleep, if I can.  I need it.  I've been pushing the engines, if more mildly, more often and with greater frequency than the end of last week.  It's starting to wear thin.  And, yet, seeing improvements that seem miraculous... inspires more.  I honestly think the fasting, being just daily, is the kicker.  I'll see about the three-day fasting.  And there may be reasons for it.  But if it is too much of a drag, I may stick with daily fasting.  or even fast daily, except over the weekend.  And it seems ketosis is back with me.  I am not having gas, I am having the bad breath that seems to have presaged it's onset.  It's a strange form of bad breath, one I may have to figure out if I can defeat.  Of course, I can't quite tell if it is from ketosis or from too much protein.  Fasting will cut protein though, so... in time that should even out?  And while not gassy, I do feel the binding inside that presaged that the last two times I achieved ketosis (the first time, then after the ojd).  I had thought, previously, that this sensation in my stomach, and guts in general, was a symptom of hunger.  The two can be similar.  It's not.  I know this time.  It's some... churning in there, twisting, as if figuring out how to begin passing gas or the brewing process really kicking in.

Yeah, details.  If you consider this sort of method, it is in the details that you will understand, or figure out if it's working for you, or at what stage you are.  There are a lot of overweight, sick, ill, damaged people out there.  If this can help one of them it is worth putting in the small even intimate details.  If people can eat themselves away from pills and doctors, being overweight and ill from it, I really think it'll be worth the intrusion.

I am going to try to go to bed for a bit.  I sorely need some sleep.  If I'd like to get things done.  Of course, without sleep, I will get nothing done.  So... good night, and day.

I just kept at it.

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Nothing fancy, just... more little tasks.  They are connected, somewhat orderly, though sometimes the project just fits the energy output available.  The last task was to finally set medicine back up.  Medicine and the rest.  I am not starting on carvedilol immediately, this week.  I am starting losarten, at full speed.  If that goes well, no down-time, dragging, or other problems, I will begin carvedilol next week, or the week after.  At cut rate.  I will only start at about 6.25 mg, not the 12.5 listed.  That's too heavy, too fast.  I forgot to talk to the doc about it, but he just wrote, he didn't consult.  I have a pill splitter and an absolute reason to use it.  I am starting the supplement that was allowing me to get by with lower doses of carvedilol though.  That is all I can do in any sort of hurry.

Oh, right... bedtime blood sugar, 135.

I have enough potassium for about three weeks, I best see where that was.  I am not sure when he is due back in town.  I'll call tomorrow.  I also need to see about the drivers license thing, whether he will sign it or not.  If not, all this has been a waste, but I'm... used to that with medical and bureaucracy.  I have plans for that as well.  I have decided, about diet, to, after my meal Thursday, begin fasting longer.  I will be going to three-day then one day fasting.  Just going to shoot it into high gear.  If blood sugar turns on that, and other things stay in check, I'll keep it there.  If not, I'll go that next step of thee-day then two-day fasting.  Just gotta keep up on the supplements, potassium the most, but the others as well.  Oh, to that end, I pushed my vitamin and mineral intake to evening.  I void less at night, and getting even better.  As diabetes comes under control, my thirst comes under control, meaning at some point the water pill may be cut or eliminated entirely.  It's... tricky.  But it is doable, I see that plainly now.  The heart won't really improve, but life doesn't have to be from pill to pill either.

Good night.

Rather an amazing lot of work.

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How?  Don't ask me.  I do when I can.  I can.  So I do.  What is that math thing?  Dishes, little bits, here and there.  As I went through the kitchen, more bits and pieces.  Along with items to be washed, items to be dealt with, items put away, and items thrown.  I can see my tabletop.  Probably, oh, 40~60% of it is visible.  Some of what is on it will stay.  Center placement items, if probably covering no more than 20%.

I didn't get to boxes, but I am very close.  I will definitely be purchasing another cart for in there this coming month.  And, if I can clear boxes, I may do some major rearranging.  Not so much out of... hmm... domestic sensibilities as for practical applications.  Which means it might end up looking like an engineer's kitchen.  Oh go figure.

And do not think I have just been working on the visible.  Drawers, slowly, over the last bit of time, and the pot and pan cupboard, along with the various larder areas, are all being hit, manipulated, explored, cleaned, sorted...  It takes a long time to catch up from over half a decade of being behind.

Actually, if I had to pin it on something, it would be the fasting, and a bit the diet.  Really, more, the two combined.  If I can maintain things, and keep this going, I... will do as I wish.  Lose weight?  Lower insulin?  Lower blood pressure?  Get off medicine?  Check, and then start living a life that doesn't involve doctors or medicine.  NOW I am going home.  A shower and bedtime?  Or just on to bed?  I'll listen to music and consider.  No major aches and pains, and the painpills, if I took them today(?) would be out of effect.  All good.  Good night.

Keeping at it.

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More dishes.  Little bits from dinner, some from other things, a few things found.  A massive wooden cutting board needed attention.  Beside washing, when working with wood, if it actually needs wet washing, as this did, then also oiling.  I use a food-safe... stuff.  Though, if you wanted to be extremely technical, what is good for food may not be good for people.  Yeah, it's come to that.  If those events were oversights, that would be one thing.  They are planned by beancounters and lawyers.  Both of whom use each other to ensure that neither is subject to prosecution for the mass murder they just suggested... or in their words, expressed as a cheaper solution, even if a minor class-action suit went forward... after the deaths caused by their... number crunching and legal history research.  Huh?  Oh, just suggesting that with China now importing almost everything, and our systems already underwhelming in defenses, and bought out, caveat emptor.  Still... doing a bit of research, and saying a prayer... it's what is left.

I have one small load left.  Though as I switch between tasks, next to work in the kitchen, digging through to clearances, perhaps I will find more.  Which is fine, it takes a while for the water temp to be more suitable for washing.  I can do it blast furnace fresh, prefer not to.

I pulled the stock.  Ah well.  Simply put, it was too strong, by far.  So I split it.  Now it is just water.  Bleh.  I quit.  I'll toss this and start over again, again.  This time a little slower, and I don't have the dishes to mess with, I have an idea of how much bone to use, and... that is as good as I can do.  Start over, again, again.  Thankfully I have enough to do this.  Annoying.  But the learning process, if not expensive in several ways, may simply not hold.  So be it.  I learn.  And live.  Plus, the work is good for me.  I'll set bones to thaw, perhaps roasting them tomorrow evening?  Yeah, maybe.

Hmm, I'm calling it a night, other than the dishes, actually.  And a shower.  Not bad though, for a day of rest.  Perhaps, tomorrow, much more in the kitchen, the counters and table top... and boxes wherever they may be found.  Boxes and tribbles?  The troubles, brother, the toil.  Ah well.  Later or good night.

Shiitake and oyster mushrooms.

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Pretty pricey.  I won't be doing those often.  Rich in potassium, but so might some asteroids be of gold.  Not worth mining.  Still, I wanted to know what these were about.

Shiitake mushrooms have an interesting flavor raw.  I suspect the price is due to them not being conducive to farming... caving... whatever you might call captive growing for mushrooms.  It took them many decades to figure out the secret to 'farming' the mushrooms that are commonly, and generally less expensive.  I can't remember the first, button caps?  Whichever, from there it branched to several types.  And yet there are many that simply cannot be farmed.  So, yeah, I get the price.  Though perhaps it is simply difficult to do?  Anyway.  It does have a slightly unique flavor raw.  And, cleaned and cooked carefully, it is a wonderful food.  Worth the extra?  Even with the potassium?  Given my wallet and needs, no.  Even as a treat it is a bit much.  I sort of draw the line on treats, to include ribeye, at $10 a pound.  Over that and I consider it outside of my once every two week treat limit.  Once a year?  Yeah, maybe.  But that is more of a tease, so I often just skip that.

The oyster mushrooms were interesting to work with.  I failed to taste one before cooking.  Hey, either I am curious, and taste, or I miss an opportunity.  Usually, to be honest, I miss out.  There is only so much risk, in any case, at any given time, I am willing to spill.  I tried the shiitake and that was that... if that wasn't a conscious part of my calculations.  As for my conscious brain, it simply didn't happen because it wasn't considered at the appropriate time.  They were tasty, but at the same price as the shiitake, I simply cannot afford them.  If I happen to see a good price, the the mushrooms look fresh and feel firm and right?  I'll... buy some, once in a great while, at $10... or more if less... a pound.  I should warn, a pound of mushrooms does not even come close to a pound of cooked mushrooms.  Shiitake lose the least water, if my eyes are correct, than any mushroom I have worked.  The oysters aren't too bad, either.  Still, if they don't lose 30% of mass, or more, I'd be very surprised.  Still, I quite enjoy white and some of the other mushrooms.  Even they are a bit of a treat, between how much they shrink and how much they cost.  I'll bet, in real terms, they are closer to $10 a pound for cooked... almost any mushroom.  It goes up from there.  Only up.

I want to try popcorn... to see what that does to blood sugar.  It is a corn.  It is also burst.  Do the carbs, or many of them, leave with the liquid upon popping?  I want to test specific foods.  From what I am seeing, the glycemic index and carb count do not always mean anything when it comes to my blood sugar.  Sometimes something that says it has zero carbs busts my sugar mackerels, sometimes the opposite.  I simply can't be sure until I test.  I love popcorn.  And, it could potentially be a decent, mostly fatty treat, if the sugar pop is low and I use butter.  Or it is a bust and I'll need to stay away.

Look, I am having to write my own recipe book.  I am having to try food, fasting, drink, sweeteners, fat additions, all of it.  No one can, I honestly don't think, write a book for you.  You have to write your own.  This is the problem with many people.  They want the world given to them.  But that isn't how it works.  When God gave them the many tongues, too I think He gave them even more to separate them.  Gotta keep em' separated.  And, so, He did.  Right down to each of us actually being the smallest minority.  Genetically, medically, mechanically, intellectually, spiritually... Taken in whole, none of us, is all that alike... save twins.  I honestly think God has both a sense of humor and likes to show and tell.  If the children of God grow up, what do they become?  God?  If so, as twins?  More questions than answers.  Thought the hope is that the questions might be interesting.  Later.

Cold, nap of naps, hot, ugh.

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I stayed awake until after 10:00, nearing 11:00.  I was cold though, even with socks and all.  I could not warm up so I could not wake up.  Not quite shivering, just on this edge of it, if finding staying awake impossible.  I finally crashed so very hard.  And slept, waking at least once for a pitstop.  Sore, still, but mildly.  I may take anacin.  Not no much for the body as the headache.  It isn't terribly, it is piercing.  I never know if painkillers will do a thing for it, simply worth the risk sometimes.

A neo-fasting blood sugar was 180.  I know what the lower number was.  Exercise.  If I can get keto, intermittent fasting, and walking... then weights... down?  I'll have whatever blood sugar I want.  I am beginning to suspect the reason doctors don't advocate this line of efforts is because most people can't do it.  No willpower whatsoever.  So, rather than deal with patients as individuals, they dumb it all down for easier application.  As well, as I still believe, whether they know it or not, they were indoctrinated to our destruction.  They were meant to make us pillpoppers and believers in that next pill.  A new religion of the medial industrial complex.  If I can get this close, and you won't even try, given the givens... I'd be cautious about judgments.  I'll bet, as much as people eat out?  My food alone costs less.  If it shaves medicine and doctor visits out in the end?  Then it has saved me a fortune.  Oh, but insurance, you say?  Do you think insurance covers the true costs of poor choices to you, to the economy, to your family, in personal, social, and business ways?  Choose.

Oh, but no worries.  There are some people who really are... toast.  That isn't who I am talking about.  Although... they consider me toast.  But, then, I'd like to think we have established that, in some odd way, I am a bit different.  Innit?  Hmm?  Yes.  How, why?  If you have no faith you cannot know.  For there is nothing that would bridge those gaps.  Not just shouldn't be, couldn't be... not without something else.  So many today suggest that some things are unworldly.  In time, even for the damned, they will talk about things being worldly in the same way, just flipped.  You will, in time, understand.  You probably do, you just don't want to see.

Wonderful though.  I have worked quite well, done much.  Stock, today?  Maybe, maybe not.  Maybe some, maybe none.  Medicine I will set up, and shortly.  A shower, I am hoping.  Maybe a bit of cleaning, maybe not.  I am not pushing today.  I do need some rest, ease.  I pushed, then got trapped into really pushing.  Too much work, too long, as fast as I could, and it still wasn't enough.  So, today, rest as I need or want it.  If I get to this or that, all good.  I just won't worry.  Later.  Oh, but some classified rock?  Or would that be rocked classics?  Anywho... never say I do not warn.

Not exactly early to bed.

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I kept... finding things to do.  And, then, finally, when I stopped that I had to cool down.  It was nearly 1:00 when I went to bed, or a touch after?  Very close one way or the other.  Memory times out when I tease it with sleep long enough.  I seemed to wake pretty solidly at 7:00, but wanted more sleep.  I tried to get it.  A bit of rest is all.  Perhaps a nap later.  It is 70 and change in the house this morning.  I haven't seen it 70 in... since the end of spring.  While, this year, even when it got to 99 (or higher, if I didn't always check), 'the cave' stayed right at around 76 with a few absolutes highs right at 80.  I mean just four or five, and usually because I forgot to close the windows before it started heating up.  I think the lowest I saw it, on very rare occasions, after multiple cloudy days, was about 73.  Yeah, I am liking 70 though.

Fasting blood sugar read 163!  Why?  I've only, and not well, been fasting for a few days.  Was that enough?  Just daily fasting, roughly.  After the 260(ish) read, I was worried that I had blown something again.  Crazy.  Being Monday, I kept eyeballing the scale.  It eyeballed me right back.  Taunting, 'You know, you don't have to step on me... chicken'.  'Oh, I know, you weasel', thought I back.  Still, on the plate I went, 266.  Then again, it feels like I've gained it all back, so... no problem.

I thought I had completely cleared the dishes.  Always something, always, that is missed.  Always.  Gah!  Not much, just enough to say I didn't get it all.  And yet, I have done quite well.  My body is a bit sore and will be for a while.  I still have a few things to do, and hope to do even more.  Putting the stock up, which is much more of a chore than it sounds, is the first thing.  A shower yet this morning, especially with the bathtub free.  A bit of business, a call at least, if I can find some paperwork.  Maybe too calls.  Those, and maybe bringing the trash barrel back... not enough recycling to mess with it.

Oh, and perhaps to see about washing the trash barrel out.  I'm not sure if bleach is best, or... what.  But it, yeah... gotta clean that.  I learned, with inside bins, that if anything spills through or leaks, clean in now, now, now.  Or you will regret it.  I need to take that lesson to the outside bin.  It doesn't have to be useful as a dinner plate, it just shouldn't smell like a rendering plant.  Bleh.  Still learning how to be a more proper homeowner after these years.  My guess is you learn until you become too ill or old to do much about much, then you coast.  I'm not quite to full-time coasting yet, if I'm not anywhere near full-time learning or doing either.

Well, on with life.  Good morning, finally, again, and good day.

More and more.

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I just can't quite quit.  Dishes, several loads, then dinner dishes, then new items I have been meaning to clean for first use, including the all-in-one pressure cooker.  My mother says they took pinto beans from dry to perfect in an hour.  Actually I would like to try that with black beans.  If it works, clean it and do it again for kidney beans.  Just... to play around, and have beans on hand.  Though one of each batch might not do.  I plan on doing it until I have it down.  The water, the time, per bean.  Hmm... ham and beans would be great though.  Once I get that, in time, I really want to pressure cook ribs, after I have a dry rub down.  Pressure cook them, then do a dry rub, then grill them.  Some people do that backwards, and I don't understand.  I like the taste and texture of grilled more than boiled or pressure cooked meats by far.

I also got the trash out. clean one of the kitchen sinks (the faucet doesn't work, for now, again, so that is a special task).  Little bits here and there.  Too tired to shower, I'll do that tomorrow.  I can't do more, or I'd set up medicine.  Tomorrow.  It is amazing what I am getting done.  I might even be heading to bed... now?  It's not even 23:00.  Then again, I was only awake late because tasks forced that.  It's been a bit busy, but easier day than the last few.  I might make it up at a goodly early hour.  I sure hope so.  I like having my day.  Winter IS coming, meaning days are just going to get a lot shorter.  I'd sure like to enjoy them.  Hmm, and, maybe, if I can keep my days for a bit, I can begin walking on off or on days.  Since I am fasting every day it's not like it matters which day.  Not tomorrow, not ready.  But I like a Monday, Wednesday, Friday schedule, so I may just plan on going Wednesday.  If I can't have a pack ready, I'd like to at least have some sort of water going with.  Camel back, canteen of some sort, don't know... something.  And a hat.  Even as it cools that sun still has bite.

Wonderful.  I'll push and pull until I make it or go down hard and fast.  Those are the options now.  Good night.

Anchovy paste.

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Well?  It may work in some recipes, where it can be cooked into the oil.  For my part, after two tries, I don't think it will work, not for meatzza.  Even when well spread, either you don't taste anything or you really get a hit of anchovy.  More so if you know it when you taste it.  If you hit it, it might well overwhelm all other flavors.  So... while I will learn to use it, I won't use it as I did.  Actually, I could still do a meatzza with it.  It's just that I would heat the pan, and olive oil, then mix it into the oil until it disappears.  Then just pat the hamburger in.  That is pretty much how I did spaghetti meat sauce.  Though perhaps the paste isn't as tasty, or easy to use, as whole anchovies?

It has been a decent day of rest.  I may actually head in and just sleep shortly.  Tired but good.  Pains eased off, simple as they were, if they do come and go.  Yeah.  Pretty close to bedtime.  Oh, maybe getting the trash and recycling out first.  I'd love a shower but that's just one thing more too many.  I'll get one in the morning.  Good night.

Late was the call.

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It wasn't a turn-around thing.  I had planned to call my mom on her birthday.  But then the stock was ready, the bowls arrived, and too much was happening all at once for me to stay out in front of my intentions.  I could tell she was hurt.  My guess?  No one else called.  There are just some hurts you can't say much about.  Not much to sooth such.  Young or old, feeling are feelings.  I tried to tell her that men are men.  If there is a woman about, some things are more likely to be tended.  Most of us left, save my brother, are widowers or bachelors.  And my brother is in pretty rough shape with his back.  If it gets to him, as it fluctuates, he can't stay on top of things either.  Now I feel really bad.  Although, in recent years, I have been pretty good about getting a gift out.  Cards?  I don't do cards, so much, mostly.  I tried.  Those just foul me up.  But gifts arrive, and usually calls, sometime around the season or birthday.  It's as good as I can do.

I finished the rest of the bowls and dishes, set them to dry even more, then stacked them just a bit ago.  I am hoping to get a shower before too long, then load in the new items which need to be washed.  The electric pressure cooker all-in-one, some travel tea/coffee makers/canteens, several cast iron items, and... maybe a few other things?  Well, probably a few dirty dishes as well.  Not many of those left, but like bugs, it seems they can never fully, completely, or reliably, be completely eliminated.  The stock looks almost ready.  I am going to give it until tomorrow.  Trash and recycling will go out though.  Not much else.

I finally got around to watching the new Mad Max movie.  It was entertaining, and not too repulsive.  For the most part it was good enough.  Perhaps it lacked something from the originals.  Though too it brought some things that were original, new, fresh.  It didn't kill the franchise, though how much it...  I don't know.  It was entertaining enough.  I won't watch again really soon, but I will add it to my collection.

Hmm... the back-ache seems to be relaxing.  I suppose since I'm not running around, hopping from foot to foot, trying to cram work into every second in which I'm not gasping for breath and cool... even some of those moments... my back has decided to give me a break.  One of the things I purchased was a 6.5 inch cast skillet.  While I like the 12", it's a little big for meatzza.  I am hoping the 6.5 will give me just enough that I can go on to make something else, a nearly full entree meal beside it.  I like having courses, I guess.  One dish courses are the best.

Blood sugar was 260, but I've been... nibbling through the day yesterday, mostly on remaining grapes.  Both the nibbling and the choice of nibblets were bad.  Back to fasting... I'll be ready for a bite for dinner.  I may give the 6.5'er a chance tonight.

Was thinking it would be later and more painful.

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My waking that is.  I didn't think I would be up until mid-afternoon, like... 16:00.  And I really thought I'd be considering an ace bandage for my torso.  I really worked those ribs and my back over heavily yesterday.  Went to bed in screaming pains in those areas.  Oh, cool in one sense.  At least I know I can push.  Might not have been all that much, but what all I did was beyond my tolerances.  And I kept going.  Didn't get it done, but... there is no way I could have realized how much was to be done or in how short of an order things would have to go.  Live and learn.

The only pain I have today, waking I think before noon, is a bit of an ache in the arch of my back.  It is, even so, mild.  Just enough to let me know that I was stopped a bit long. Ribs, calves, the rest, are all just fine.  After realizing I was just fine, I checked on the stock.  It just takes a while for that to congeal.  By tomorrow the fat will have solidified and the stock will have taken form and gelled.  I have a few days to get that all set.  I didn't want to gel it because I initially didn't really want to remove the fat.  The thing is, you can't really split out the fat evenly, which is why I have decided to go ahead and remove it.  A bit of a forced play, but one, I suppose, I support now.  The other reason I didn't really want to get, was because to put it into containers I then have to heat it back up again.  Oh, why does my stock take more like 24 instead of twelve hours to congeal?  Because I made pots of 30~32 quarts of it at once.  If you only have six or eight quarts, that'll set very quickly, relatively.

On the other good side, I should be able to finish dishes today.  Perhaps do a bit of cleaning in the kitchen.  Maybe elsewhere.  Actually just light-duty stuff.  The cave needs a bulldozer drivethrough, and then a powerhosing.  But what it gets, when it gets it, will have to do.  And it will be light.

It has been cooler lately.  Sometimes late August, hereabouts, is cooler.  Usually it isn't.  As I remember things, for the most part, it usually doesn't really start cooling, as it is, until mid-Septemer, maybe early October?  I won't say my memories are great, and my sensitivity to heat can be a bit off, used to be much worse.  And, often, in hot years, heat-exhaustion... the type that accumulates over time... makes even moderate temps seem like hell on earth.  My thermometer, for in here, read 73 when I woke, I believe.  And?  I was almost on the edge of being chilly from it.  Still am.  All good.  Later.

Well, no.

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I worked as hard as I could, as long as I could.  I simply could not work hard or fast enough.  The pots have been put in the refrigerators, if I did more work on the dishes.  Trying to get more containers finished.  I may actually do one more portion before surrendering in a well deserved defeat.  My body did what it could.  I could push on but that would be unnatural and unkind.  I will do what I may tomorrow.

On the good side?  The fat that collects on top of the stock?  That is pure tallow.  Now, I have some, but may be getting low.  So... more tallow.  Cool.  I didn't realize that would be... well sure... beef fat.  Is all beef fat tallow though?  And, really, that was just one source.  Could be wrong.  Yeah, I know, it is unpossible for them to lie on youtube.  Just, you know, saying.  But if it is tallow, all the better.  Ugh, ouch, sore.  It hurts deep inside, as if ribs hurt, and that pain has thrummed to my spine, and from there everywhere, a bit.  Pain is good for you, just not sure about this high of a dose.

Good night.

Cool enough? Yeah.

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I did hit the dishes again, they are merely sitting in a rinse.  I think I am cooled off enough to go do, hopefully, a final run.  Dry the containers, then begin filling.  I suppose I could sluff that off, I just won't.  I am hoping there are enough lids.  Ugh, but this became a huge task and all at once and right at the end.  Too much.  I need to take it a bit easier next time.  Mistakes, and events like this, are teaching moments though.  The question is, can I learn?  I suspect so.  I will leave a container out.  For "breakfast" tomorrow.  I know have the broth I need for a couple of dishes.  One actually uses beans, the other potatoes.  I'll show the potato one first, and some alterations.