Few are the days.

.
.
Not often do I get to brag.  In a very small way today is one.

I did get the last load of laundry folded and put up.  Then I hit the dishes, a third of them were clean enough to be dried and put up.  Tea is ready to be run through when I wake.  A few small clearing and sorting projects were implemented.  And I am awake north of 13:00.

I will check the water for the ducks.  No wind, last I knew, but it was 10º F.  They usually keep the water open, not always.  As with me, there is subjectivity regarding reading and feel of cold.  If they feel it is too cold, they roost more.  I like to treat them when possible.  As well, it is nearing time to begin thinking of egg laying.  I want to make sure the are healthy and set.  It's a month or two off, but it is coming.

I am definitely ready for bed though.  Hmm, may clear the litter again too.  The girls treat me like royalty when I keep things ordered.  Good night.

Yea.

.
.
The ducks and girls have been taken fed etceteras.  The laundry did spin out, then dried if that took two shots as well.  That load has been folded and sorted and is ready to be put up.  I may hit the dishes, if most will need another sudsy soak before finishing.  Not bad.

In other news, blood sugar has already dropped to 127.  That is a one hundred fourteen point drop from the "morning" read to near bedtime on my first fasting day.  I'll certainly take that.  I have gone through various stages of hunger, mildly.  On a scale from one to ten, I've gotten to four?  Some serious gurgling going on in there, if hunger has passed again, for now.

The furnace was turned down.  I am starting to feel it.  The cold of body or environmental causes, if tempered, allows sleep.  Unmanaged it, as with any extreme, can inhibit sleep.  It all has to be just right.  I'm learning if there isn't a way to perfection, not quite just yet.

Good night, morning, and day.

I may be done?

.
.
I did fold and put clothes away.  As well, another batch of dishes is soaking.  So another load of laundry is washing.  My machine quit though.  I set it on spin, everything is soaking wet.  It never seems to work, not sure why.  I may have to run it through a lesser wash.  I will finish that load, through the drier, folded, and put away.  As well, the girls and duckles will be watered and fed.

I didn't get to much sorting.  I did remove some older shirts, and as I try things on, if the item is aged, spotted, or torn, I'll put them into the rag box.  As dishes are finished, especially while fasting so I can keep ahead, I should be able to clear areas.  Even if only working every third day or so.  I figure I should be able to finish dishes tomorrow.  Laundry will take longer, but isn't being pushed.

Blood sugar is back up to 166.  All I have had is tea. It just ebbs and flows.  I kept thinking it was Saturday.  Fasting to Monday will be a stretch.  Might not be possible.  Sunday even?  We will see.  At least I got to some good work today.  Not as much as planned if more than many goals on any given day.  It will do.

Later, or good night.

Reasonable.

.
.
The was is drying.  I set another load in thw washer, but no soap and it won't be started until the first load is dry and put away.  The dishes soaking were washed,dried, and put away.  No new dishes were set to soak because I became too tired.  I did turn the furnace up two degrees before I could start.  I was getting cold, too cold to work.  It was enough.

When the drier alarm sounds, I'll put dishes to soak, then get the laundry out to fold, if it is dry.  If I get all that, I will put the next load of laundry in.  The next work period will be spent on the kitchen table, maybe a bit in the livingroom.  Some of which will get dishes sorted for the next batches of those.

It's good to have clothes clean and sorted.  I need to go through various items and pair down.  Turning old shirts, socks, and shorts into rags, perhaps just storing old jeans?  Even old denim would be valuable in tough times, for many things.  Plus, it would be good to open more space.

Blood sugar has been dropping.  At 166 then 148 it is going down faster than before.

I'd best feed the girls, and clear their litter.  Later.

A good start.

.
.
Dishes done and reset, laundry handled so a new load was set to wash.  A few other tasks, if small, finished.  Fasting, so it's just been tea and an apple cider vinegar ketonic.  Blood sugar dropped 43 points and should continue falling.  Only every third tea will get sweetener, it's as good as I can do, if I can maintain focus and memory.

I will hold off putting more laundry to wash until each previous load is dried and put up.  Dishes can go until tomorrow night.  A shower every other day, and I might not have the energy to do dishes first thing.  Best to have that area clear.  As well, I will hit various areas between rests and the other work.

I set the furnace to 76º F, as 72º wasn't working.  It did help but is too hot, so back to 72º.  I think once I get warmed I stay warmed, especially while working even sporadically.  So many tricks, games I must play, riddles to solve, hoops to negotiate.  All are timed.  None of the solution systems work exactly the same per problem, even when the scenarios are aligned.  It's good that I have learned patience and problem solving... more the latter.

I will endeavor to persevere.  Later.

Good morning.

.
.
Down right around 13:30, up if roughly, poorly, at 20:30.  I will probably shake the rough start and get to work quickly either way.  I ache, am sore, a bit weak, with a headache, and just off beside.  Amen.  Pain, and endurance to sometimes work through it, is a wonderful grace.

The half dozen clothes remain.  The dishes were not washed, and there is much sorting, sifting, and tossing to do.  I am excited to get to it.  The plan?  Putting up the clothes, then starting that ready load - washing, rinsing, and drying the dishes, then setting the next load to go - hitting the living room for an hour or two, then, later, the kitchen for the same with the goal of sorting down to the table top.

Too much?  Probably.  Though that isn't all.  I also want to find my gun cleaning kit and shoe shining kit.  Then line up tasks I have for those.  When I wear myself too far down, those sorts of tasks can still be done.  I am trying to fill time, become my own boss as possible.

I need to wake a bit first.  Fasting blood sugar was 241 but fasting starts today.  By Sunday, if I work as hoped today and tomorrow, I will be out of energy.  Work helps with fasting, if you can do it.  I'd best get medicine down right away before I forget, as well as pain relief aspirin, and turn up the furnace.  The girls are enjoying a fresh catnipped sock.  Oddly, even Sassy is enjoying... I think for the first time I have seen.  I wonder if they get the munchies?  :p  this is the stuff I ordered with my better spices.  It's superior, maybe Sassy is exacting about her catnip?

Days and nights are spinning again.  I assume as spring nears, the chaos of life, light, and fluctuations in temps will do their thing.  It's been a rough winter, but not too horrible.  I was even able to keep up on the critters in the worst of the flu and the cold weather.  I am hoping spring will be better even so.  I really want to hit some trails before it gets too hot, then maybe on through some of the heat, and maybe swim - more so if it gets too hot outdoors.

Good morning and good night.

Much.

.
.
Pretty much everything except dishes.  Actually I thought the dishes would be done while the laundry remained untended.  I do have a few items to put up, but I started with three baskets and the dryer full.  I will most likely get those put up or away and hit the dishes.  As well, I'll check the water for the ducks as it is rather cold and clear the cat litter.

Blood sugar has been bouncing between the low 180's to the mid 190's and back.  It doesn't make sense.  I am altering the sweeteners, using less, and skipping.  It helps, just not enough.  I just wish there was a way I could drink fluids, water or tea, without sweeteners or else.  It just doesn't work.

I am about to crash, perhaps I won't get further.  Still, it was a good run.  Not perfect but more than I expected.  There were a lot more garments to fold, pair, hang, or otherwise handle.  Yea, a good run.  But that is that, other than the ducks and litter.  Good night.

Things are finally happening.

.
.
A shower, dishes going, clean laundry set to fold, the rest of the dirty laundry taken back to be washed, and a load set to wash... it won't be started until folding is finished.  As well, two meals made and consumed.  Blood sugar dropped to 164 but is up to 184 shortly after finishing a steak, corn, and fatted tea.  I should have given it an hour, or two.

Steak is tasting much better with much shorter cooking time.  Yeah.  I wondered there for a while.  It tastes sweet and extremely rich.  Only some lamb compares.

I'll probably watch a movie as I fold.  Perhaps hit the dishes in an hour?  Then more folding.  I don't think I'll start laundry until 'tomorrow'.  But I should have the dishes in, done, a new batch soaking, and perhaps a shave.  That will probably be it, if I can get to all of even that.  Oh, ducks and the girls will be tended, if that pretty much goes without saying now.

It's good to be moving again.  I did miss a day on medication, but when sleep is that out of control I don't count it.  I still aim to take it, but don't terribly worry in those circumstances.  Yeah, back on them.  Best take my last dose in case I crash too hard and fast.  Later, if more likely good night, and good morning and day.  You, as usual, are in my prayers.

Crazy sleep.

.
.
My naps are turning into extended sessions, waking episodes are nap length.  Absolutely bizarre.  I can't pick or choose.  I crash, and that is that.  Good sleep, I am rested after.  I can't remain awake is all.  We will see this time.  A shower, setting up a few small loads of dishes, then folding?  If I can stay awake.  I have to admit, sleep like that has become rare.  So it is quite a pleasure.  Sure, I miss things, but being this rested is quite nice.

Blood sugar was 192 at waking.  It is 232 now.  No good reason.  Bleh.  I'll check an hour after breakfast.  Probably should have had a fatted tea, or a snack.  Food often helps.

Breakfast is soaking.  I can't believe I am enjoying chia and flax seed.  Nuts really help initially, but aren't as necessary now.  When spring and summer arrives, if I can find good berries, I'll add some of those.  As is, I am cutting nuts, as they are heavier in omega 3's... or is it 6's?  The omegas that are less desirable.  Still, a bit of crunch always adds... something.  I didn't think I could afford the various nuts.  It's pricey getting supplied, if doing it at once, but not bad as keto kicks in and consumption falls.  Just freeze extra packs.

A steak later, if I can stay awake.  A prize, if I can get work done.  Part of what got me, the last time I crashed, was suddenly becoming cold.  Probably health issues.  The heart, circulatory system, or something(s), just stopped working.  The thermometer read 72°, which is usually warm enough to too hot.  It was me.

Yeah, breakfast then a shower.  I hope.  Later.

Awake and planning a shower.

.
.
I can't be sure when I went to bed.  Down between three and five hours.  Waking to a sour stomach, I made an apple cider vinegar ketonic.  It still seems so counterintuitive. But it does work.  My problem has been drinking too little.  Hmm.  Waking blood sugar was 190, down 25 from the last prenap test.

As mentioned, a shower is next on the agenda, folding clothes as I dry off from that.  Then?  Setting up a few manageable batches of dishes and laundry, feeding, watering, and doing litter and straw for the critters, and sorting and clearing areas around the cave.  I am getting back to it.

All of that today?  Maybe bits of all of it, sure.  There is no way I could finish it all.  But juggling, I could hit every item.  Hopeful today.  Willing to nap as needed, eat as possible.  Pickles, olives, and cheese sticks for snacks, another steak to be grilled, if I should thaw a few more packages of meat.  Not too much, probably just a few pounds of burger?  No, I'll begin fasting Thursday.  I'll begin thawing packages Sunday.

Odd, 72° is too hot.  I'll shut it back a few degrees, especially since I plan to work.  I'll bet it is still around 6° ~ 8º F out there, with a breeze.  Nope, dropped to 2º.  Strange thing?  Usually the thermometer, attached to the nuclear clock, on the far side of the room, reads two degrees cooler than the furnace setting.  Not today.  All good.

Tea is going.  I'll finish the a.c. vinegar ketonic, then have a regular tea while waking, then get a shower and going on the rest.  I usually need time to get going, or take it when I can.  Why rush?  Good morning and day.

Most of that initial plan.

.
.
Steak was excellent.  My problem had been overcooking.  Render the fat out and even if the protein portion is medium rare it might as well be shoe leather.  This time, five minutes per side on a hot grill, a four to five minute rest, and it was perfect.  As well, beats and butter.

The only things not completed was a shower and folding clothes.  The various tasks wore me out.  I may even take a nap.  Hitting the list after that, say a shower then folding clothes.  Hmm, I'll bring the clothes out and have them ready.  Getting things set up makes work much smoother.

It was between six and eight degrees outside, if with a solid four to seven mph breeze, pretty much solid if slightly variable regarding velocity.  Oddly, it just didn't feel as cold as 20 with a similar breeze this morning... if that was actually a few hours before bedtime, though the sun was well up.  Actually, I am a bit too warm in here.

Yeah, maybe naps as needed, and pushing through otherwise, might work.  Later.

Nothing done and keep missing meds.

.
.
Okay, not nothing.  And I got back on meds after missing two days.  Still, nowhere close to even the portion planned.  So very tired.  Sometimes missing medicine is the problem, sometimes it is a symptom, sometimes it is the short term solution.  I can't be certain if I suspect it is a symptom.  Just too tired.

I'll keep the plan in play.  If I get started right away I might get to a shower and laundry.  The place is looking better, a lot better.  I have hit a nice chunk and had help.  I really want to dig in, will, soon if not today.  The work wears me out more than I would have thought.  I have been idle too long.  Pacing?  I don't think there is any practical pacing.  It comes down to working as fast as I can, getting as much done as possible, then hoping to get back to it before I bury back to worse than before.

My mom called.  It is supposed to drop to negative 45° to 55° F.  It is so cold the place she works very occasionally can't keep the place warm.  Her boss told her to dress warmer.  She was already on that... she's an Iowa girl, not a fool modern airhead.  She sounded well.  Called while I was asleep, but I expected the call so had my phone on and by the bed.  Fine, from now on, when I think so, I will keep it in the receiving mode.

I'll get a fatted coffee after lighting the grill.  Last I saw, it was 20, give or take five, with five to ten mph winds from the wnw... mostly west by far?  If memory serves.  The temp can be low if there is a breeze, usually.  I wonder if some breezes are too moist to facilitate boosting the fire?  I can't really tell, probably just seems cooler... moist wind.  I'd have to do scientific inquiry to find for certain.

The problem is, I am not motivated as it wouldn't matter.  Even knowing lighting the grill would be more difficult at a particular time would not dissuade my actions.  Nor have I found a way to improve the lighting process, save checking it more frequently and restarting it every ten, instead of fifteen minutes, until it starts.  It needs at least ten minutes.  Bleh.

Since I'll be out, I'll empty the ducks' water.  It seems to be freezing hard the last few days even if not so cold  (20° F isn't bad, if perhaps it is dipping hard at odd times?).  I'd best feed the girls, clear their litter, check their water... and perhaps chase them and maul them a bit.  Oh, they love it.  If I don't maraud them often enough they take it personal.

Blood sugar was 226 at waking.  It has, more so than expected, been staying lower after ending the last fast.  The next fast will begin Thursday or Friday.  It might bring it down better and more permanently again, or the one to follow will.  Or the one after that.  Every two weeks, three days fasting followed by several days of fat fasting.  It works if I do it right, well, conscientiously.

Let me see... clean the bathroom, light the grill, empty the ducks' water bins, make a fatted tea, then fold clothes while I break with a movie?  Seems reasonable.  Oh, bring the trash bin back while out there.  Later.

It had to be an error.

.
.
After the 203 fasting test, I had a meal.  A fatted tea, with ketone crystals and electrolytes, nothing else added to the tea and cream.  The actual meal was the last burger... the veggies were too mushy.  An hour later the tester read 272.  That was a crazy jump.  Impossible considering what I ate, or so I thought.

Still wanting, I had a chia seed breakfast as well.  Oh, yes, this is the same seeds used on chia pets, for those who remember.  I actually do remember wondering if they were edible.  Being a giant truly means, more so while still growing, that I was always hungry.  ALWAYS.  Anyway, an hour after that, two hours after my other draw, and blood sugar was down to 158.  Yeah, no.  I'm calling the 272 read a flaw.

Oh, right, I'll start working now that I am fed and awake.  The bathroom first.  I really want the shower first.  Then some sorting, and folding any time I need a break, as able.  While I hope to have clothes folded and baskets ready, I don't expect washing to begin tonight.  As well, two loads a day, making sure I don't get backed up on folding again.  I figure I have six loads, three of them smaller custom loads, whites, woolens, and synthetics.  Maybe two medium synths, actually.  Bleh.

If I get the shower, I will set some dishes to soak.  As with laundry, just small manageable loads.  Bleh.  I'll be sorting and straightening as well.  More heat though.  I am cold tonight, and that won't do.  Steaks are thawed.  I'll have one later, cooking it more carefully.  My problem with steak might be overcooking.  Later.

Up really late.

.
.
Late getting to sleep, even later waking.  The bit of effort the last few days simply had a price.  The ducks were completely out of food, and water was frozen.  It wasn't solid, so...  They had water available, by the looks, until about this afternoon, if food was probably gone earlier, if I had to guess.  An half day fast is good, rarely.

The place is roughly shaping up.  I'll do more tonight, and try to really get standard chores in with it.  Folding laundry so I can start washing again, cleaning the bathroom to get a shower and shave, and setting up the trash bins now that I have bags back in supply.  One of the smaller baskets needs washed... I'll get that in the bathroom and catch it with that.  Not all of that tonight.

The chore goal is folding laundry on breaks from other work and cleaning the bathroom.  As well, more sorting of boxes and clearing in the living room and kitchen.  If I get those done, then a shower or start on washing laundry.  I doubt if both are possible.  Though who knows.

Odd, but the body is feeling warmer.  Mostly.  Work helps, but so does opening space for easier air flow.  Fasting blood sugar was 203... not great but better than yesterday.  To be honest, I think it is higher from not eating enough.  The days I eat well the sugar reading is lower.  It is simply difficult to eat enough.

Later.

Not what was planned.

.
.
Sidetracked, in a good way.  It started with collecting trash.  Which led to picking up a few areas.  Then sorting through a few boxes.  It just snowballed.  The more I do, the more it seems there is to do.  Oh, I best actually get the trash out.  As generous as our trash bins are, mine is full, nearly.  I have two more bags, and another for cat litter if it won't fit in the other bags.  Ugh.

Cabbage, broccoli, and burger put into patties, then all steamed together, at various lengths.  Cabbage took the longest by far, broccoli just a few minutes.  Quite good.  Cheese on the patties, butter on the veggies.  Quite good, far better than it might sound... especially when eating for life is taken to heart.

My after meal blood draws are staying around 180, give or take five points.  The last middle before meal draws was yesterday and was 166 or so.  I'm almost certain it is lower, but I keep missing taking it far enough after a meal.  Fasting, this morning, was 226.  I'll get better.

I am trying to take advantage of the help I am getting on housework.  Digging in solo adds both to completion and raises the spirits of the helper.  Yeah, that makes a difference.  It certainly raises my spirits as well.  It is almost amazing how much is done in such a short time.

I actually have more help arriving soon.  Strange how these things work out.  Later, or more likely good night.  How about another, last, draw.  Not quite before meal, two hours out, which is merely at the beginning of the down slope after meals... usually.  Hmm, 155 will do nicely.  Longer would get ten to twenty points lower, or more.  Good deal.  Oh, and trash is out, by the magic of the blogosphere, in case you were worried.  Good night.

Double double barrels.

.
.
For the best and worst of the night and waking that is, yes.

Such plush dreams, or a long dream?  I am all but certain it was several dreams.  Holding my favorite shape of the female form, her derriere.  The best of it was double barreled, holding both cheeks.  Why?  Silly goose, take a gander.  I... must have dreamed of every time I did so.

Not all had been lovers.  Believe or else, but I have had more women friends than lovers, who I could even be cheeky with.  Looking back, perhaps friendship wasn't their aim?  As it went the dreams were extended.  I woke in one of the best moods known to man.

Then, immediately upon waking, I got a bloody nose.  If you didn't guess it, gushers, out of both barrels.  Well worth it, if that is the price.  Nothing so trivial will dissuade the great mood.  So, here I sit, ponder the nature of women, looking like a nerd.  What a fantastic life I have lived.  I might not have known all women, but I... wasn't deprived.

Yesterday was quite the day!  A friend called.  Stuck.  Woke me.  I got out there and... promptly got stuck.  He called around until he got someone else on the horn.  Of course, he only had a 4x4 too, so would just have gotten stuck.  He called someone with a tractor, willing to pull two fools out.  All fun and games, since blood or death were spared... at least directly?  Not sure if this crazy bloody nose is from exertion or the dreams?  Both?

While out there, a treat was offered.  It seemed to satisfy any unhappiness surrounding having been dragged out of a restful weekend, into cold and effort.  If you must beg, try to have something interesting, tasty, or useful, on offer.  As the nearly dead, who must often beg service, I have learned a thing or two.

After, the friend and I went out for more target practice.  We had a blast.  I left the firearms with him to clean.  Not being lazy, I just want him to become familiar with what he shoots.  One more time on those, then we will take turns cleaning.  Plus, I have to find my cleaning kit.

After that, we tore into the living room and hit a bit in the kitchen.  Mostly boxes and a bit of sorting.  Quite a start.  It should give me a running start at hitting more soon.  I'd like to set up some dishes today, and clean a few areas in the kitchen and bathroom.  Then do folding.  If folding is finished, I will start loads of laundry.  We will see.  Later.

Bittersweet

.
.
Haunting?  Memory?  Never enough.  Then or now.

Bothersome.

.
.
Troubles are my joys, often.  Can't complain.

Up late.

.
.
Later and later.  Ducks first thing.  Two bins of water and one cup of food.  Water hasn't been freezing, so I just leave it out.

Blood sugar was 185 fasting, 163 after my first meal.  I am surprised with the lower numbers.  In the past it has taken several fasting episodes to begin lowering blood sugar.  Not always, but when I am starting out, up.  It's been a while since I fasted.  Further, I haven't been intermittent fasting, and I have been eating relatively heavily, if really hitting keto.

It takes time to figure keto, especially with the side issue of diabetes.  For one thing, with type two diabetes or mine, there is no fiber discount.  I have to look purely at carbs, save against certain veggies.  Oddly, I can have fast food... more so if I hit fattier foods, like a triple patty burger.  Offsets, if nothing sugared like soda.  And some carbs really are more allowable, if the reasons don't track logically always.

I grilled drumsticks last night but wasn't happy with them.  I have hamburger thawed, but don't know what to fix.  I could fry it, using the sous vide on cabbage and carrots first.  Then roll them into a simple meal... not a cabbage roll, just a meat entree with veggie sides.  I'd have to either find the foodsaver or just sack the cabbage in ziplocs.  I am curious to see how vegetables do with that device.  And I need food.  It's strange, but the more keto I eat, the better my blood sugar... up to some point.

A shower would be good.  A shave.  Some cleaning and laundry.  As well, finding my gun cleaning kit and getting a few firearms ready to shoot.  Yeah.  Later.

When I am a good... boy?

.
.
Or good enough?  Is it from an incel, or near incel (oh, you might not be modern term savvy, involuntary celibate), who loves living vicariously, sees the potential?  Is it a woman, women, who... well... dream, hope... remember?  Some mix?  I don't know.  I only know, for whatever reason(s), when I hit the right notes to satisfy... whomever(s), I 'get sent rewards'.  Usually older pieces, with specific or general meanings, or new meanings which make sense with what I recently put out.

So it is.  I really enjoy this sort of thing.  I am certain there is feminine.  Just...  Yeah.  In any case, I have won the prizes.  Not all will be shared.  Some is for my eyes only.  You've seen the vids I won't be sharing previously.  It's, just, would confuse things for you.  No, mine.

Just... something...

.
.
On my mind, mostly.  No haunt, probably.  With a grin and grain.  Of truth.

Awake, very roughly.

.
.
Among other things, I am cold.  The last two days, no matter how high I set the furnace or how warmly I dress.  I do have the correct blanket rigging to sleep warmly.  I added my middling wool blanket as a top layer.  It's a symptom of fasting.  Just understand that.

Blood sugar got to 141 as a final read last night.  At 156 for a fasting read, it is okay.  I am having a fatted tea to break my fast, while soaking chia seed for a more substantial breakfast.  I am cutting how much I soak to about two teaspoons, and only a third of a cup of nuts.  It's rather filling.

As to my fast?  It is changing rather than ending.  I had forgotten the notion, but instead of ending my fast it is becoming a fat fast.  I am about halving my calories, but aiming for 90 % fat content.  I don't know if this has any real effect.  I guess I'll find out. I can't say I am hungry, if I can admit to wanting to eat.  I think?  Not eating, while well awake, is... weird.

No time to cook meat.  A breakfast, a shower and shave shave, and tending critters.  If I can get going.  It looks like either a frost, or bit of snow, hit last night.  Too little to do anything about though.  If it's slick, perhaps salting.  Oh, best get medicine.  I'm back on track with it, would like to keep it that way.

Have a good morning.

Bedtime.

.
.
Early tonight.  I may see about putting water out, if it isn't too cold.  I'm not sure the ducks will use it.  But if it won't freeze...  It's the best I can do.  I'll water them when I wake anyway.  I just want them to have water earlier.  I doubt if they need food, but I'll check it too.

Blood sugar has been drifting from as low as 141 to 156 currently.  I haven't checked bp in a while.  Maybe tomorrow.  I will be ending my fast tomorrow.  Two days is short, but I don't want to drive while fasting, at least not someone else's vehicle and on a third day of fasting.  It would probably be fine, I just don't risk other people or their gear.  Meat is thawing, though if it isn't ready, or there isn't time, I have other options.

Good night.

A whiff on the cold winter wind.

.
.
Is she... following me?  Leading?  Am I leading from behind?

Late, better.

.
.
Up at 17:00.  Pretty late, even with the extended bed time.  A shower and shave shortly.  Oh, I won't need to rewash all the clothes.  The musty scent was transferred from a washcloth which had gotten forgotten and received that odor.  IT will be washed after soaking it in vinegar and soap for a day, perhaps microwaving it.  Hmm?  One actually very good use for microwaves... moisten something which has gone moldy, clean it off and out, then nuke it for thirty seconds to a minute.  Also works well on kitchen sponges.  Not sure about loofahs, natural or not.

A blood test right out of the gate, and a pot of tea set.  At 168 a gooder fasting blood read.  My first quart of plain tea down.  About to hit an a.c. vinegar ketonic, then an electrolyte water mix, then a sweetened tea.  I will be trying a new sweetener tonight, swerve probably.  The trick might be less finding the, right sweetener, but mixing, changing, which is used.  Sucradrops works, I suspect, until some variable dose is hit.  How much is in my system, what else was eaten and the order of consumption, all sorts of variables are in play.  I am hoping my theory and practices pan out.  Gotta keep at it.

An interesting dream.  If so, it would be a step back at madness, with madness, if toward sanity.  I doubt it.  I think men in America have surrendered.  Who knows.  I liked it anyway.

Later.

Oh well, tomorrow.

.
.
The ducks were tended.  I stayed awake, purposefully, with that in mind.  The girls were fed as well.  The final blood draw read 137.  I tried a monkfruit mix, as the sweetener the last time.  It isn't very sweet.  I wasn't willing to use more, I was willing to simply accept.  That is more the key to eating right, that and learning what your body needs.

There is tomorrow, always until only.  Though then everyone ends up home, and yesterday.  I have gone through hunger, if I think the jump in blood sugar, or really what caused it, was the problem?  Perhaps both... caused hunger.  A spike, for any reason, leads to hunger.  I am amazed when people start hitting diabetes they don't seriously dig in, change their diet.  Then again I beat it several times before, but came right back to it.  To be fair, I had an untreated bad heart, lose focus badly even now that it is treated.  Back then I was always gone.  Ugh.

Good night.

Problems.

.
.
The first?  I am cold, frigid.  I turned the furnace to 72, 74, now 76.  No help.  I haven't gotten to work, not sure I can.

I had my sweetened tea.  Sometimes it goes well, sometimes not.  This time not.  My blood sugar hit 250.  It is 147 two hours later.  I will experiment with some of the other sweeteners.  I keep try stevia, but beside not liking it... it isn't (to my tastes) sweet, and it has the worst elements of a black licorice aftertaste (I like black licorice, just not the derived bitter aspects)... it doesn't seem to do any better as to blood sugar.  It may be that any sweetener will have this effect from time to time.

My next sip will be water with electrolytes.  I have heard by one of my sources that bone broth  isn't good for fasting, the other says it's okay.  Both where wrong on other things.  I'll just have to try it experimentally.  It's not that my sources are... wrong.  They advise based on their experience.  Each of us seems to be quite different.

As well as cold, I am still exhausted.  I am hoping, perhaps, to get somethings done.  If not, tomorrow.  Driving again Wednesday.  I really am hoping to get a second vehicle in the next year, if I can get SS back.  Political thieves.  May Trump blast out the American haters.  Just wishful thinking, but there it is.  Destroy the fed unions.

Later.

A few items.

.
.
Ducks were checked, if rather late.  Thankfully I set out two water bins yesterday.  They remained thawed, and with plenty of water.  They did need food, eating better.  All good.  I'll bet they will really dig in if they begin laying.  Oh, the other day... when I suggested rain would be good?  How about holding off on rain until it stops freezing?  Thank you... teh management.  Yeah, we got rain and it's a rough ice sheet back there.

I've had my apple cider vinegar ketonic and a quart of my first half gallon of straight tea.  The ketonic helps with the volume of fluid intake.  Blood sugar at 189 is down fifty points exactly from fasting waking testing.  I hope it keeps going down, but it'll do it's own thing until Thursday or Friday.  I am hoping to make broth by fast end.  A good first easy meal, though possibly a boost during the fast.

I am hoping to hit the bathroom, shower and shave, then set up dishes... maybe start laundry.  The laundry I had meant to fold needs to be rewashed.  Bleh.  With vinegar.  I left a load in too long and, well... *sigh*  I'll do what I can.  Later.

Up late, moving slow.

.
.
I think bedtime was after 6:00.  I woke at 13:30, had to push out.  I woke three times before but couldn't stay awake.  Dreams?  I suspect, lost though.  I should get going.  A couple of video thoughts though.

The darkness and light, always blue.

.
.
Ask and you shall receive?

What a strange night.

.
.
I could tell you, but best to show you, or... what I dare.

All were given some.  There are patterns.  Shiva.  Sun.  Nimrod.  Timekiller, keeper if you must, will.  Oh, and okay.

Way late.

.
.
Down around 1:30, I think.  Slept until 15:00.  Woke a few times before, couldn't stay awake.  Ducks first thing... two bins of water.  This time I snuck to a side window, attempting to watch them play.  Every time I'd look in, they would quit playing.  Eventually they did some playing.  Silly ducks.

Fasting blood sugar was 187.  Not prime, better.  Now to eat.  I may bake daikon o'grotten, have a salad while that bakes, then heat ribs with the daikon for the last half hour.  Actually, they are only supposed to take an half hour, so the ribs will just go in with.  I can't say I am hungry, only that food seems right.

Of course, the girls have been fed and watered.  I'll change their litter today.  It's overdue.  The furnace is up.  I'll check the duck water, refilling if need be, perhaps cutting to one fresh bin.  If late I try to spoil them.  As it warms they are eating more.  All good.

Later.

I knew, had to be.

.
.
I've been nibbling all day.  Breakfast, fatted teas, jicama, ribs and mushrooms, sweetened tea, and probably other things?  So, yeah.  Blood sugar was going to be high.  Why even look if you already know?  Well, because.  Fears can't be fixed, only problems, only if you know them, face them.  Sure enough, at 143 it was...  way down?  I am pretty sure that is the best reading since I started testing after falling ill, or close... certainly in the last weeks.

Is it that I wasn't eating enough before, or at times?  Actually, yes.  I think that was part of it.  Deprivation is not good, at least not half measures.  Either fast or... get off the pot.  I mean eat to satisfaction, if the right foods, or fast, don't try to go halvsies.  What else?  Ah, I wasn't eating enough veggies.  They do help clear certain debris, help organs function.  As well, I think apple cider vinegar has been helping... started to work.  I don't get that slow digestion that plagued me so roughly or occasional acid reflux from drinking so much.  Oh, and I am drinking less, down to a gallon or two, from four to six gallons a day.

I don't hit every supplement or consumable every day.  Simply not possible.  Every other, or third, or fifth day.  Or two or three days, then it is forgotten for a bit.  High fats, accelerated omega 3's, and some protein, as well as heavy vegetables now, with almost no other carbs, fast or slow.

Sure was tempted by fast food.  Half the reason I bought beef ribs.  It was used as the carrot since I didn't have a big enough stick.  Carrots and sticks are the only tools which might engage my ass... mule if you must, certainly not donkey.  Glad now that I didn't.  I'll bet I am in solid ketosis too.  Not showing up on the pee sticks, if at this point it probably just means I am fat adapted so my body is using the ketones.

Now to get bp into the green zone.  Can't say I'm not trying.  Good night.

More ribs.

.
.
I truly love those beef ribs.  Steak hasn't been tasting right, not enough fat or something.  It may be grass fed and finished?  A good thing for some.  If this is the result, it isn't what I want.  Perhaps my freezer is of?  Or do steaks have a very short freezer shelf life.  Hmm, or maybe too much fat is being trimmed?  Ugh.

These meat, and heavily fatted, ribs have the flavor I am dying for.  I'll look around for steaks I like.  Something just isn't right.  I also found tàrjin.  I haven't tried it yet, but will yet tonight.  I have the grill about ready.  After the meat is going, I will chop one of the jicama into sticks.  I want to try oven frying some of them too.

Celery and cream cheese has been quite good.  Peanut butter is tasty, but dubious for keto.  So, next month, I will be trying other (real, actually, as peanuts are legumes) nut butters.  Without additives, like crisco type fats, or other vegetable oils.  Avocado, ghee, coconut, olive (I have stopped buying olive oil until I can find some extra virgin that doesn't add other cheap, bad, oils), and animal fats that aren't a mix or highly processed.  It really looks more like they are trying to poison us with food, less like they are merely ignorant.

I may put off fasting for a day.  Finally getting out, with good meats, veggies, and new things to try?  Yeah, maybe two days.  Later.

Stupid sleep.

.
.
Is it sleep, or more staying awake to long.  At the moment I can't be certain.  Little energy is problematic in a way most wouldn't immediately figure.  It isn't making me sleep too long, just the opposite.  Without burning off energy, I simply drift through wakefulness, extending my day.  Not sure what to do about it, except keep trying.

A shower, first thing.  A brushing and irrigation, then maybe a shave?  A start on breakfast first.  Then ducks.  Ugh.  Yes, up late.  Driving lessons this afternoon, I hope.  I am going to keep the chia cereal, but cut it to half a cup of mixed nuts.  Nuts have more of omega 6's, chia and flax have omega 3's.  I need more 3's.  Still, there is some room, and want/need of the nuts.  The more you know the less you know?  Almost.

A bit of snow.  Not sure if I need to shovel, or throw salt.  I don't think the lawn tractor plow is at all practical, too little for that.  We either need more snow or a lot of rain this spring.  We haven't received much this year, more like a light Iowa snow year, so far.  No complaint, just the facts.  Odd how, no matter our worries, things do work out.  The worst is we choose to fail if we become inflexible.  Failing is rarely the end, unless we force it, but an opportunity at something new.  It took me a very long time to... seek a path my body could handle, if the government was working against their own designs... and still are.

Social Security and other benefits are for Americans, not foreigners, not unions.

Anyway, I best get going, get some things done.  Later.

A strange lot?

.
.
A few stood out.

Food experimentation.

.
.
Baked broccoli? It's going as I write.  It isn't something I have made, or to my knowledge had before.  I will try nutritional yeast on a sample.  If that doesn't suit, I'll use an Italian cheese blend.  As well, I am baking daikon radishes, sliced as one would a potato, with a bit of avocado oil, butter, salt, and pepper.  I want to taste these foods as plain as possible.  That is how I learn to know what might go with them, in the dish or beside it.  I plan on adding cheddar to those.

My blood sugar went down to 163, for no good reason.  I have eaten, several times, and consumed regular amounts of tea.  I'll take it.  I suppose I don't have to understand.  Blood pressure is very high, I missed medicine this morning, if that couldn't be the only problem.

I received and used the oral irrigator today, after my first brushing.  Salt and baking powder in solution, then a few drops of iodine.  I need a lot less of the settled solution. Perhaps a cup, maybe two.  I just didn't know up front.  The plan is to use it, with iodine, twice a day for two weeks, then once a week... barring problems.  Yes, it darkens teeth, wherever plaque or roots show.  I will get over that.

Dinner was served.  Great?  No.  But not bad.  I liked the daikon radish ogrotten best. It isn't a potato twin, more just it's own thing.  I liked it both ways.  The broccoli was better with the nutritional yeast, but would be better with cheddar or various other cheeses like cheddar.  But this is a reasonable side dish as is.  I'll finish the last of the broccoli.  There wasn't all that much, so I may have a cup of assorted nuts as well.

Later.

Wasn't sure.

.
.
Back to bed at 4:00.  No clue when I would wake.  So far it looks like 10:30... assuming I am able to remain conscious.

A shower, perhaps some cleaning in there first.  Then I will think about things.  I am not exactly sure what all is wrong, I just know I am exhausted without reason, beyond reason, and even with right eating, reasonably good sleep, and medicine back on very good schedule, my stats are remaining awful.  Fasting, starting Saturday, is the last weapon in my inventory.  I will give it a couple shots before looking elsewhere.

Perhaps the new stuff I am trying isn't as compatible with keto as advertised.  Or is good, generally, only not for those with insulin resistance?  Most who try keto aren't coming at it with diabetes.  I will have to start weighing my foods, looking at exact macros, figuring out if fiber can be counted against carbs, at all, for me or not.  I won't be limiting, just weighing and logging.  I have been watching, guestimating, but that isn't good enough.

The thing either on my side, or against me, is my size.  I really am required, if not double at least nearing that number of calories over standard recommendations.  This includes macros?  If 20 carbs are generally good, I'm better at 30 to 40.  Though the ratio of that being 5 %  of total calories is more important.  Unless... 20 is 20 is 20?

I also need to keep intermittent fasting on track.  That has been troubling lately.  I can't focus, keep in sync.  It isn't that I am too cold.  This year, for the first in a long time, I am dressing warmly.  Socks, two pair if needed, long underwear and pants or pj's, at least a shirt, sometimes another shirt a sweater or a jacket, keeping the furnace right for sleeping then waking.  It's not perfect, but this is the best year I can remember.  It isn't helping, or as much as I had hoped.  But I know the cold can shut me down, but that isn't it.

Hmm... though part of the reason for better dressing is because I go out at least daily for the ducks.  I believed that would be good fot me.  I think it is.  Just noting one difference this year.  Yes, tending creatures, and going out in the weather, are very good for you.  It might limit, complicate, humilitate, but... these are all goods, as I see things.  Probably got me over the severe flu quicker this year, if I had to bet.

Hmm, the flu may still be a part of it.  Something that rough may just have gotten to me too deeply.  Though, maybe not.  Why bother looking?  I want to get better, and believe it is possible.  I refuse to quit, even if I can barely stand long enough to shower. I will not stop contemplating, acting on possibilities when able.  Ugh, though.  Later.

Not as planned.

.
.
Down to plan C, or D?  Nothing is quite working out.  The initial plan was to sleep later at night.  Couldn't do much.  Crashed anyway.  At just after 18:00 I lost control, had to sleep.  The plan, then, was to sleep the night.  Nope.  Sirens?  I definitely heard them a couple times while awake.  That might have awaken me.  No problem, just not sure.  Perhaps it was merely going to bed too early.

All good.  I woke hungry.  Daikon radish slices and then pistachios.  Still hungry, thinking of fatted tea, maybe something else... baked broccoli?  Meat sounds better, I just don't want that much fuss.  Baked broccoli is probably to much.  Maybe chia pudding?  That stuff isn't bad... adding a cup of mixed nuts and seeds really turns it into a far superior cereal replacement.  The only negative is that it takes an hour to soak.  I have heard it can be prepared ahead, stored in an airtight container overnight, but I'm not sure.  Soaking some now, might as well.

I am not sure why blood sugar isn't falling.  Then again, I think multiday fasting, and several episodes of it close together has been required.  I am planning Saturday thrugh Monday or Tuesday.  I'll have meats and veggies gone by then.  No ketonics either, just tea, plain.  After that, I may hit a fat fast... essentially half my normal calories but at as close to, or over if possible, 90% fat.  A few days of that then back to standard keto, 60~70 % fat, 35~25 % protein, and 5 % carbs (or less).

Later, or good night.

Snow.

.
.
Down after 4:00, up at noon.  I woke at about 8:30, if I had to guess.  Someone in the house.  I couldn't be absolutely sure, if I do believe so.  Maybe they needed the extension cord for the compressor, as the lawn tractor front right tire was down... again.  I really ought to see about taking that off, getting it in and repaired.  Worth a shot, if I could get to it.

I wasn't really able to wake until noon thirty.  Ducks have been fed and watered.  And the snow has been removed, I think by the brothers.  I think I called out.  No response but they did hear me.  No worries.  I can sort of tell things, heard them talking a bit, heard my name and the snow machine and probably the compressor.

I'm in rough shape.  Mostly just exhaustion.  Bp and blood sugar are elevated in spite of limited good food and taking medicine.  I'll... keep at it.  I need to do shopping soon, again.  I have a list ready, mostly.  I'll keep at it... pushing even if I don't seem to be getting anywhere.  Later.

Yeah, well, I'm... trying.

.
.
I am getting to things.  Small things, and slowly.

I am starting to get to things.  Checking on the ducks several times.  Some cleaning.  Getting trash bins reset, while collecting trash and recycling, plus doing work in the bathroom.  As well as creating a list for my next shopping trip and thinking of ways to try jicama and daikan radishes as potato replacement, hoping I can do something like scalloped mock potatoes.  I'm... afraid.  A lot of work down the drain if the dish ends up inedible.

Hmm? Well...

.
.
Down late, up late.  Not preferred but at least it makes sense.  A longer, twelve hour, sleep.  But it was good, needed, and restful.  I wake without aches, pains, grogginess, and in fair to better conditions.  Blood sugar remains just above the line.  Ugh.  I don't know about blood pressure, I like to wait an hour after meds before checking that.

The ducks were fed and watered.  I have broken two of the four bins, but these are holding up better than the other kind by weeks.  As well, I pushed the limits on the last one.  A little easier handling would have spared it.  I am amazed how well these do last.

I may buy a few more next time I am in.  In the summer I have a bigger one.  Once a fence is up, I'll just keep that full, plus see about one of these bins on the side.  Less fighting over use.  Perhaps a bigger pool though, instead?

As well, I do believe if I can get one of the hens to go broody I will let her have a batch.  The trick is, I may have to separate the mother and hatchlings, or the other ducks may kill the little ones.  I'm not absolutely sure, may depend on breed.  A separate 'yard' shouldn't be too difficult.  And I have materials for a small private hutch, as well as enough fencing materials... probably.  I need more ducks, and perhaps my source for these could use some.  I wonder if they bear about equal numbers by sex?  Strange, given that one drake needs several hens... perhaps to offer options, a hierarchy, and backup if all else fails?  Learning as I go.

Oh, the man who had the heart attack is doing better.  He is in rehab, but on the way out.  Bet he didn't see rehab in his future!  I got to speak with him.  Actually aimed for that.  Missed the first time I called my mother, caught the right time the second time I called... and she could answer.  Yeah, I am tricky that way.

Hmm?  Later.

Late and slow.

.
.
To bed early, by... before... 21:30.  Sleep was great.  Dreams, good ones by waking sensations, but lost to that very waking.  A comfortable morning, no pain.  I actually suspect this is due to adding vegetables.  I will keep at it.  Blood sugar is a bit lower today.  I won't be checking bp for an hour, just took meds.

Ducks were watered and fed.  They ate quite well yesterday.  It looked nice outside. I was sure it would be wonderful.  And it was, if you like freezing your but off.  Thermometer read 20°  F, but it felt crisper.  Being late to get them water, I put two water bins out.  They have a ball when I bring them water.  I can't watch them or they quit.  Once out of sight, they splash and play like children in the summer.  With two water bins they play even more.

Yes, today I am feeling much better.  I'll have a salad shortly, do some cleaning in the bathroom, take another shower, set up dishes, then do more folding.  I've been doing this and that, just not well, fast, or frequently.  I'll try to get back to it.  As well, a rosary today.  Yeah, it is a good thing to add in.  It costs time, but the time spent makes up, easily, for itself by supporting will and focus and somehow increasing a sense of rest within the body.

Hmm... a salad and ribs.  Just a few of those is super, the salad ends as, if expensive, filler.  Tonight I hope to make broccoli and cabbage sous vide, all I have.  Some broccoli packs will be frozen, to see if that really works (doesn't with cabbage, but fridge will do okay for a week or two?).  I'll begin working to have veggies more easily available.  I simply can't keep fresh on hand and newly cooked.  But this?  Maybe.

Later.

Something is just off.

.
.
Bp is high, blood sugar is also staying high.  Eating is controlled, medicine is good.  I have missed a night group yesterday, but have been doing well otherwise for several days.  I'm not sure what the problem is.  Tired, absolutely swamped today.  I may have to nap.

I called my mother but she didn't answer.  She may be at work or at the hospital.  I have heard no news about her friend.  Usually that is good, though not always.  She hasn't returned the call, and it sounded as if it was clicked off after ringing through.  No offense as if that would matter, just a note.

A visitor.  I was given a leg and thigh from a massive turkey.  Given how long they were fed out, the cost of such a homegrown bird would be... immense.  The male got up to seventy pounds.  They were praying he didn't die before they could deal with him.  They had to part him, to big to roast in almost any oven, certainly for any they had access.

I gave two bags of feed for them to try.  As well, a jicama?  Pronounced as such, almost.  Mexican's can't say "j", or don't have it, as in English.  It is pronounced as hick a ma.  Is that a Spanish language issue, or native to Mexico though?  Anyway, it turned out to be a surprise hit.  His mission had been down there.  He liked these greatly.  Since returning, he had been unable to find these in good shape or at a reasonable price.  That has changed.  I hope his wife ends up liking them.  Or she'll kill me.  :p

Salad, with diced jicama, mushrooms, nutritional yeast, cheddar, avocado, and vinaigrette.  Then three bone in beef ribs.  A fantastic dinner.  Stuffed but not overfull... mostly.  The ribs taste exceptionally sweet, as if sugared.  Though the first batch, five of them, I ate were party to my blood sugar falling.  So strange for them to taste so sweet.  Actually, my blood sugar dropped again, by twenty five points.

I much prefer jicama sliced then eaten as other fresh raw vegetables.  Ranch or other dressings would be good.  Perhaps nutbutters?  Not sure about cream cheese but I'll be happy to try.  As to taste, raw?  I would say a split between a potato (tastes starchy but isn't), an apple, and a less sweet pear.  I am hoping cooked, baked, and fried will be as good.

Good night.

Late but at it.

.
.
Way late, back to my old schedule, as if it continued advancing.  Ducks have been watered and fed.  The have a blast with fresh water.  I gave them fresh leaves recently, for flooring.  Their roosting hay is fine.  They keep it clean and there is enough for a dozen ducks.  They all seem to roost as a tight group.

I purchased fresh vegetables last night.  Some to be cooked, some to be eaten raw.  I am pretty sure I can't eat six to nine cups a day.  Six on a spectacular day.  But how would one even keep that much fresh on hand.  Refrigerator space is just one of the problems.  Cost is another.  No, but I can definitely improve that area.

Celery used to be a problem.  I knew regular peanut butter was bad.  But with fats becoming a want, cream cheese is one solid add.  Not necessarily a snack, but a side dish.  I am trying to get to two meals, filling meals, a day, minus snacks.  If anything, using ketonics both as food supplements but also as a form of snack.  I guess no solid food snack.

Grilled ribs last night.  And three cups of spinach and baby kale, with avocado, mushrooms, cheese, and a vinaigrette.  Something about steak, and other meats, just isn't working.  It's all off.  But those ribs were spot on.  Salad is salad, what can I say.  Perhaps keto cereal, four celery stalks, and three ounces of cream cheese for breakfast, left over ribs and have that sized salad for dinner?  Sure.  I am aiming to cut the keto cereal (chia pudding) down.  I'll try two heaping tablespoons, three?  I'll keep the added nuts and seeds to that old standard... a cup, roughly, plus a tablespoon of flax seed.

First though, an a.c. vinegar ketonic.  I try to do those daily, am trying to get one before each meal... keep losing track.  I did try that with lemon juice too, but both lemon and lime juice jack my blood sugar.  If I can get blood readings in order, I may try those again.  It really makes the vinegar more like a treat than a medicine.  Oh, speaking of medicine...

Later.

Oh, I...

.
.
I feel it.  Rough in the morning, and an early morning... unnaturally for me, in the extreme.  Received on the day?  I suspect so.  Exorcisms, I mean.  One?  Several.  Does a body good.  Fine.  I will begin the rosary again.  Wasn't stubborn, against, was just so tired.  Medical still isn't the best.  But that boost is quite good in an odd way.

Strange offers.

.
.
From links sent to sites offering ways to boost site traffic to all but direct options to hire boosting.  I am not interested.  My ego simply isn't involved.  My numbers are dropping, at least if google is to be believed... it isn't.  The thing is, I only write to expel thoughts... to clear my head.  Real, imagined, religious, mundane, goals, hopes, plans.  To be rid, to help solidify, and other things.  If someone finds a visit worth his time?  Cool.  That just isn't the point.

I feel sorry for people who need to feel liked enough that they pay real money for a click farm to manufacture likes, visits, or such.  Some of it might be an attempt at padding ad revenue, if I can't see that panning out.  Funny thing?  Most people realize, with a brief investigation of a site, that the popularity is bogus.

Heck, I try to keep my blog hidden from search engines.  I don't know how well it works, but only get an occasional hit from bing, if that is a regular?  Or someone trying to show me something...if so, to point, I have not caught a point.  Numbers, real numbers, are hidden.  For political as well as economic reasons.

Though, to be honest... I suspect an overcount, at times.  If I am certain of an undercount from time to time.  My readers get new equipment, new software, and drop from sight.  I have two other means of measuring, each with their own limits.  But, yeah, no I won't buy clicks.  I might cut back posting, but do that as needed anyway.  If this is writing, it isn't for money.  Who would pay to get their various dongles, or lady parts, even if rightly (just pretend it is so, regardless of your beliefs), stomped?  I give the same fruit I must imbibe, good, bad, or ugly.

Then again, Mark Twain ran much through his wife while she lived, or he would never have seen print.  So... winging it solo comes with solo acerbity... bitches.  Well, and it comes with all of the assorted pathologies of the singular which wasn't designed to be alone.  Such are our times.  Women seek Kali Ma in the wilds and worship, men seek Crom under his mountain and the riddle of steel.

There are, as a friend recently suggested, only three sexes... males, from Mars; females, from Venus; and the other 33 (or has that increased again?) queer sexes, from Uranus... with the caveat that single adults of either sex are... oddities too, even... or moreso... if that becomes the norm.  Social sink?  I was thinking that should be 'sync', but I now believe it should be both.  Connected dissolution, social-civil based devolvement.  Yes.

Anyway... what was the question again?  :P  Feeling much better already.  Chia cereal is almost ready, an a.c. vinegar ketonic is going in, meds down... all go and good.  Have a wonderful morning, except nosy union bureaucrats who may eat shit and die on your way to hell.  I still keep you in my prayers, faster, always faster.  There is no other way for the prideful, envious, deceitful.  Later.

Up even earlier.

.
.
Not sure why.  I went to bed very late, almost midnight.  Again, I woke, but too early.  It was around 4:30.  I fought to return to sleep, and lost.  Yesterday I had forgotten to turn the furnace down.  I thought that might have been it.  Nope, it was turned down this night.

I feel bad.  As yesterday morning.  I did return to better condition by midmorning.  I am hoping for that again.  I may take extra aspirin today to kickstart that.  Furnace is back up, medicine is about to go down.

I tried steak sous vide last night.  It was okay.  I am having problems getting steak done right.  Or my taste buds are shot.  Maybe age or illness are the problem.  It is really for vegetables though.  I'll have to shop before I can try those.  Soon... I hope.  Getting it together and then getting out is proving impossible.

So much for the V.A. blood sugar strips.  They say use before 1/31/2020, but two in a row have given error codes.  Then again they had started to diverge from my reliable tester, going from thirty to seventy points higher.  I guess not working is better than bad readings.  Government goods and services are no better than the Soviets understood.  Maybe worse, being overpaid on top of it.  At least Soviet bureaucrats also starved, and got the retirements they deserved.

Later.

I must grin.

.
.
Something about not understanding possession?  Oh, I do.  Which is why I advise against yoga.  Oh yes, indeed.

Awake so early!

.
.
A few minutes shy of 6:30.  I have been waking in the 10:00 to 11:00 range for a while now.  Down around 20:30, which is also rather typical.  I didn't want to get up.  Well, did and didn't.  I struggled to either wake or get back to sleep from 6:00 on.  Didn't really come to a conclusion, merely couldn't get back to sleep and was pretty sure it wasn't possible.  Just lying in bed is painful, for me, if awake.  Is that normal?

Medicine, blood test, bp in an hour.  Not feeling well.  Aches and pains everywhere around the torso, with a heaping helping of exhaustion... just not the kind which can be transferred to sleep.  The miserable sort of weariness which just oppresses one right down to the bones.  It might melt off in a bit.

Lots of dreams the last few days.  I'll cut them down, keeping the idea as intact as possible.
---------

Two nights ago, I took my deceased friend to a barber... from a time when he was still living.  He got it cut way down, and tried to get me to get mine short... to what I call a mission cut.  I refused.

Yesterday night...

The first one.  I was driving by a granary when the weather changed.  As well, something was attacking through the weather.  Vehicles were being tossed, even filled grain trucks, so I got out.  I had déjà vu, and knew what to do, short term.  I called as many to me as I could, told them to follow me if they wanted to live.

Most did.  Of those who remained and within sight, all were killed.  Those who followed but too slowly also died.  The rest of us made that initial sprint, took a break, then took a few more sprints and breaks.  That dream ended as we were taking shelter for the night.  The town looked to have been destroyed.  We were going from cribbage to barn to house.

In the next one, a friend from longer ago invited me for a visit.  A Christmas and New Year celebration.  By New Year, I was exhausted, so didn't go with him and the others.  I couldn't sleep though.  So I cleaned his place.  I knew he had worked to make the place nice.  I had tried to keep it that way, but it had gotten rougher.  He was amazed.

Last night...

The first dream was similar to the one in which an attack took place, only I was in an army unit which happened to be driving by the coop.  I wasn't ranking, but through attrition (from the attackers and probably created weather) I became senior.  This time the enemies were id'ed.  They looked like grasshoppers.  They may have been mechanical.  There were also larger, definitely mechanical, other attackers.  The grasshopper things could bore right through a man in moments, and they were in a massive swarm.  It, to, ended with the town destroyed and my group, which hooked up with another group, settling in for the night.

The other one was about a one night stand.  Started out innocently enough.  I was looking for a man's earring.  I went to a shopping mall, then to Penny's or such.  I didn't really know where to start.  She was there.  She looked a bit frumpy, a bit faded, wearing a white two-piece skirt suit.

When I made my request, she made an off-hand insinuation.  I mocked and rejected her in the same response.  When her attention was gained, and here attitude correct, I explained it was a wedding present for a friend.  One of the bikers (riceburner type, as opposed to the Harley crew) I knew.  She then became pleasant, tried to help.

She was probably 30, or close.  I wasn't even close.  She asked if we could do lunch.  I suggested it depended what exactly that was, and about walked away.  I was clear what sounded good, if I didn't think it would happen.  It was available and did happen. I don't remember how it all came about.  She was late back to work.

She seemed frumpy, but was actually quite slim.  Looking back, she was probably required to dress down, so as to not put off the heavy set clientele.  The first two times were good, but that last time, she was really trying to get pregnant.  I had learned enough about women by then.  Yeah, she was one I had forgotten.  No, I never went back.  I never really liked this method, felt unclean, wrong.  And I had much younger women available.  For as much as I liked sex, I really wasn't all that into it. It just... happened... a lot.  I'd still like it, just not three times a day... usually.

Later.

Sous vide?

.
.
It's a plan.  I already have a vacuum sealer.  I just needed... well, I wasn't absolutely sure.  So I got the minimum plus a few extras.  Should be in tomorrow, some arriving today.  I am not convinced it would do well with meat.  Vegetables are why I really made the purchase.

There is another reason... freezing the cooked, or nearly cooked, bagged vegetables.  Buy them fresh, cook them quickly, let them cool then freeze them for a very fast later reheating.  Enough for a week, or month, at a time... reducing wasted food and continuous shopping.  Even quartered cabbage, perhaps squash?  Mostly keto veggies though.

Blood sugar was down to 196.  I just had a bowl of chia seed cereal, though had more of a nut variety.  Sliced almonds, whole pecans, sunflower and ground flax seeds, hazel nuts... limited to what would fit in a cup plus two teaspoons of flax.  Then half a cup of cream plus a cup of milk... initially.  The cereal was rather thick, so up to another cup of milk was added, if probably closer to two thirds cup.  It does need sweetener, but is rather tasty.  I haven't tried pumpkin seeds yet.  Variety of crunchy material really helps.

Now I am having a small spiced ketonic.  Later, spaghetti.  I will be trying einkorn noodles.  I doubt if it will be any better than regular whole wheat.  Might not be tolerable... whole wheat is as bad as regular pasta, but is heavy and doesn't absorb the sauce.  I'm just dying to try this stuff.  Who knows.

Later.
---------

After an hour, blood sugar, with both the fatted tea and chia cereal, is 203... a seven point jump.  Not good numbers, if I have definitely had worse.  Next?  Pasghetti!  I am sure it will be rough on the numbers, but sometimes you just have to do it.  Tonight is the night.  Generally, I am eating the right foods, just not on the correct side of the number scale, yet.

Odd.

.
.
To bed early, earlier.  A bit after 21:00.  Even so, I couldn't shake sleep until slightly after 10:00.  The ducks have been tended.  The cats will wait.

Driving practice has restarted.  I was nervous.  Did rather well.  New tires, but snow in some places.  It about evens out.  I also contacted the fellow about the feed and hydrated lime.  I was able to get eight bags, so can pass off several.  Funny thing, the special hog feed is similar enough to the special fowl feed to be used in a pinch.

I don't mind offering some things, as the couple are a good source of information, and work help both ways, as well as friendship.  If I put in poles sometime, I could get help.  And, should I rent a post hole digger, we may well use it to put in a few hydrants around his home.  They are quite handy.  As well, when chickens, or other fowl, come due for butchering, there is help there, and trade...  I prefer hindquarters, they prefer breast meat.  Oh, and I'll take all the offal I can get, and feet, discard backs, and skin from part trimmings, for broth.

I need veggies.  Yeah, the fast?  I realized I couldn't do it.  Why?  I had several plackets of meat thawed.  No, refreezing isn't an option.  I cooked chicken and a beef roast last night.  The rest is in the reefer.  The trick is to intermittent fast, keep it short, and?  To be honest, it isn't working.  I think the problem is that I need vegetables, desperately.  Hopefully today, mild shopping.

My blood sugar was down to 166.  This morning, after a smaller dinner, if all meat, at 19:00 last night, is 225.  Bleh.  Oh, I found the V.A. blood tester.  It works fine.  A few points higher or lower, nothing significant.  So, I can use it up.  I guess I just couldn't believe, from my food, that mu blood sugar was that high.  No more meat thawed, after this until after a three to four day fast, then perhaps a several day fat fast.  Ugh.

Later.

Dispossessed?

.
.
Events led me away from writing this post.  Back to it.  It should be done.  The title is meant as pleasant humor pertaining to the topic.

Several days ago, it hit.  I think it had started several days to a week before that.  If I had to guess, prayers of exorcism.  One?  More like several.  A focused event, before the illness request.  I felt it solidly.  I... sometimes, often... always question what I write.  Self doubts, uncertainty about what it is I am perceiving, insurity whether to share... much, perhaps most, is not shared.

Up late, moving quickly.

.
.
Up to 3:00.  Unusual.  I have been sleeping around 21:00 for... a while now, waking a bit later each morning though.  I've tried alarms, to keep on schedule, but while those can help in the short term they terribly botch it in the longer haul.  What I wouldn't give for regular schedule, or the health to pretend as in the service.

The ducks and girls were tended first thing.  A shower and shave today.  Hopefully in time for the post office.  Ugh.  Actually I best get going.  Oh, fasting... for the weekend, only unsweetened tea, hopefully until Monday morning.  Blood sugar is 256 this morning for truly no right reason.  If blood sugar isn't better, I may try a fat diet... that is half my standard calories, as close to 90%  fat as possible.  Egg, bacon, the fattiest nuts, avocado, heavy cream, and such.  Several days of that, since fasting longer doesn't seem possible, for me, yet.

I best get going.  Later.

What a strange... girl.

.
.
Yeah, well?  She had a point, once?  She was never chasing a devil, only her wants.

A late wake.

.
.
Bedtime was early, 20:30 perhaps an hour later.  I slept well, just having to go to the bathroom once.  I didn't do much yesterday.  I woke at 7:00 and small change.  I was awake earlier, just by a bit.  I gave Sam a full massage suite.  That can help me wake.  Sassy was there, but wasn't interested.  She just wanted to make sure I wouldn't go back to sleep.  The earlier I wake the sooner she eats.  That cat is all about food.

Dreams.  I can't remember them.  Two very different subjects.  A girl in a bikini, woman to be clear.  Nothing happening, just a pleasant conversation.  But the subtexts were clear to me.  As they are in real life, only spelled out in cartoon/comic dialogue boxes.  She was selling.  Because of the desperation of her methods, I wasn't buying.  If she is that needy, she probably can't be trusted for monogamy, or hoped to have children.  That was derived from a picture from the dream... a stillshot capture.

I must admit, I didn't want to walk away.  She looked... good.  I know, when younger, I rarely walked away, if I was clear up front that this wasn't a thing, just... a moment.  Usually I could keep to that.  Not always.  Sometimes I couldn't avoid a particular woman well enough.  Sometimes I almost didn't try... until I remembered how savage it is to lose a family.  Yeah.  Sharp looking dame.  Ugh.

I got stuck on the driveway, well and general wants of chores.  I overloaded, yesterday. Blew a fuse, gasket, and nerve or three.  The neighbor plowed.  So...  Hmm?  Today?  I won't make plans, not deep ones.  A bit of spiffying in the bathroom, then a shower and shave.  I'll see after that.  I am hoping for much more, but will keep planning to small modules as such.

I really want to get to groceries.  But today?  So much to do, even before cooking, I may wait for dishes to be completed.  I really want cauliflower, but also jicama, daikon, and regular radishes if I can find larger ones... lowcarb potato replacement varieties.  I have serious doubts, but that isn't a preclusion to effort.  Actually, doubt is a call to action, if it is a true doubt, not an exclusion.  Careful with that.

Ducks, girls, a shower, then a shave.  I got the electric trimmer work done before the last shower.  I can get the blade work done this time.  I'd still like to get to a straight razor.  Anything she can do?  It's more about learning to sharpen the razors and keeping them sharp.

Bad news.

.
.
My mother's friend has had a major heart attack.  He took a few aspirin immediately, then called my mother.  Thankfully he didn't go all manly and refuse help.  Even so, after several surgical forms of intervention, he is in a seriously precarious condition.  I asked if she needed anything.  Prayers, I was told.  I can do that, and multiply that... if you would be willing to add a prayer or two.  His name is Tom.

Not good.

.
.
Blood sugar, with the trusted test strips in, has read 179 the last few times.  I can't find the other device or I would compare.  I will when I find it.  I haven't had a bite in hours, didn't eat much, and it was all very keto.  I have time for a fatted tea.  A small one.  This isn't making sense.

I am absolutely exhausted.  Worse than typical.  I got almost nothing done today.  Slow, late, little done.  And my upper body is too hot, my legs down is too cold.  That's a new one.  A meat loaf, with cheese melted on top, a spiced fatted tea, a vinegar sipping, and an half a cup of mixed hazel nuts and sunflower seeds... that was it.

I can't get off my chair.  When I can, I get lost until I find myself back in the chair... as if finding myself even meant what it might seem.  Lost and found.  Youtube seems to have stopped being about music.  Almost no new, music or otherwise.  I wonder if they are dying... or worse, changing like mtv.

Anyway.  Later.

Something is way off.

.
.
I am using a different blood monitor.  I ran out of that which I purchase myself.  By the time I could afford more, I ran out before the new test strips arrived.  So I thought I would take a chance and use the few supplied by the V.A.  I am reconsidering that choice.

My blood sugar, fasting twice, then after the ketonic, have been outrageous.  The first two, a few hours apart, were 225, this last was 272 after the ketonic.  A tablespoon of cream has never kicked blood sugar like that.  A cup of the stuff doesn't do more than a dozen or maybe score of points potential as a worst case.  I am doubting the machine.  All good.  The strips that read right (according to lab drawn a1c's) will be in soon.

I am about to shower, dress, then plow the drive.  More snow yesterday.  Then... everything, or something, else.  I don't think there is any reason to continue checking with this device.  It is just plain wrong.  I wonder how many people they force onto insulin with this mal-calibrated machine?  No wonder they don't want us getting our own devices... or meds.  Actually... I am beginning to wonder... just how much of their medicine is sugar pills?  Seriously.  Later.

Too high, but why?

.
.
Last night, at 196... this morning at 225.  For one thing, vinegar needs to be consumed before food, and maybe several times a day?  It depends who is talking.  But, okay.  I'm starting with a vinegar ketonic.  I will have another one around noon, then one before my first meal.

That wasn't all.  I started having caloric ketonics early, midmorning.  Which would be fine if I used that as the start of my intermittent fasting.  I ate calories over too long of a time span?  I don't know, but I think so.  I am pretty sure I didn't eat too many calories.  Fats were in good order, as were proteins, with only four to six carbs.

Every day is a new opportunity.  Today I will test ketonics.  I can't have the spice ketonic, as it needs fats, thus calories, for absorption.  But, how much fat?  If a tablespoon would be enough, that amount of raw whole cream doesn't, from experience heretofore, cause an insulin response.  I'll... test that, as I like to have a few of those a day... turmeric (1/2 Tbsp.), fresh ground black pepper (1/4 Tbsp.), ginger and cinnamon (1 Tbsp.), from a Tbsp. to cup of whole raw cream in a quart or two of warm tea.  If I am not going to have chia cereal (like today) I will add ground flax seed (1 Tbsp.).

Crazy sounding stuff.  Actually interesting to consume.  A few drops of sucradrops or other (very lightly sweetened) and it is good to go.  I tried it salty.  Not preferred.  I save my salt injection for the vinegar formula, half a Tbsp. once a day.  The rest I eat, or skip.  Yeah, it is different.  It is helping, in some areas.  Ankle swelling and salt craving down. Extreme irritability?  *grins*

I need to get to the store.  Veggies, like or not... if mostly wanted foods.  Plus just to get out.  A call to the docs, at least one appointment, checking where I can get scripts, a shower first, post office, dishes, laundry...???  Well...  IF I'M ALIVE!  ;p  Later.

Not bad.

.
.
An hour after the keto cereal, blood sugar was up.  At 164, eating to my satisfaction, I won't complain.  That is only a thirteen point jump.  There is something, however, that was forgotten.  Something that seems to lower blood sugar... an apple cider vinegar ketonic.  So I am having one.  I'll check sugar in an half hour, then an hour after that.

It looks like Desert Cat was right about veggies.  Too many sources, and what I am seeing, is tracking toward evidenciary results.  So I am beginning to look at veggies a bit more.  Looks like my favorites are in there.  Kale is okay, especially drenched in a.c. vinegar or butter.  But cabbage, brussels sprouts, avocado, spinach, asparagus, cauliflower, even tomatoes (when good ones are available) and carrots, and a few others are good.  Broccoli is very good too, but always a challenge.

Six to nine cups a day?  I don't think so.  Between cost and constant shopping, that is beyond my abilities.  However, kale powder and wheatgrass powder, mixed with regular veggies, might make that more reasonable.  Eat fresh until gone or bad, then go to powder until I can make it back to the store.  With the price of powder, I would be motivated to shop more often.

Anyway... I am figuring things out.  Not the perpetual exhaustion, but I am trying to sneak past it, to get some things going.  Ugh.  Later.

Funky.

.
.
I had a late meal.  I didn't believe it would matter.  It did.  An half portion of chia pudding sent blood sugar from 135 to 223.  I hoped it would be down this morning.  I waited until after some shoveling.  Nope, 247.  I waited to eat to take another reading.  I didn't want to see the number, so stalled eating, just having fasting ketonics, until 13:28, at which time it read 175... right before starting lunch.  That is a 72 point drop, but still disappointing.

Breakfast. The last of the salami and a fatted tea.  I will miss that.  Everything tasted so sweet.  The salami, the teas, my fingers?  Crazy.  I almost wondered if my food had been poisoned with sugar.  Seriously.  I have been eating off and on since.  Two hours later, in the quarter of my (potential) mealtime, another read... 151?  Okay.

I am about to have a bowl of chia.  The thing that might be throwing the reading is either messing up intermittent fasting, or a new food I am adding.  If it jacks now, within my i.f. window, I'll suspect the new additive.  One new food or process at a time... or just a few.

Bp is a middling range.  I wear out quickly and easily.  Whatever.  Later.

Different. Interesting?

.
.
I waited a bit over the time, if close enough.  The first bp check on my right arm was nearly disastrous, at 178/110  pulse 86.  Sure, I have had worse, but not on medication.  Perhaps the hiccups in taking it have been too severe?  I start with the right, in an obverse reason to why the Dread Pirate Roberts starts with the left... the opposite is usually better.  Not yesterday.  Today?  137/90 pulse 86?  Wow, huge difference.

Oh, decided to test blood sugar.  I knew it was going to be higher.  At 135 I was... wrong.  Crazy.  I'll take it.  A thirteen point drop while I am still stuffed to the gills.  *blub*  Just weird.  Good, I think.  But surely odd.  A nap, if I can get out of the chair.  Ugh.  Later.

After lunch blood sugar.

.
.
I kept putting testing off.  I have been hungry (sort of) since 10:30.  Salami, too much, but...  Several ketonics, plus a tiny salted vinegar tea... it really helps with stomach stoppage, maybe bloat, and seems to, maybe help keep blood sugar low.  Yeah, but with nearly constant consumption and the high fasting number, I didn't expect a good number, perhaps 160 to 180, though it might just be up.

Yes, I get nervous, didn't want to check.  It was time, past time.  148?  I checked several times, to see if the number I was seeing was right.  Even leaving the menu level then going back in.  A fifty point drop after constant consumption, with a belly full enough to hurt.  That's my kind of gig!

I am tired, worn, not feeling good.  A bit of a shave, a shower, messing with easy food and drinks.  A nap?  Maybe.  After this fatted tea, and an hour.  Just took meds, want to check bp.  It was really high last I checked.  Then a nap.  So ready.  Later.

What!?!

.
.
The last two blood sugar readings last night, through five and an half hours of yesterday, read 163, both times.  I had hoped they would drop, but at least they didn't rise.  This morning?  198  Crap.  I guess the next fast will have to be longer.  I won't be ready to fast again until next weekend, at he best.

A change, from something I am eating or doing... the hair on my head has become thicker, coarser.  It's like I turned Italian overnight.  A more recent or longer term change though, I can't say.  In one way, it is great.  Having baby hair makes it impossible to manage.  But thicker hair has to be managed.  A little goop and I could almost sculpt a sea wave.  I wonder though, temporary or permanent?

Hungry, but what to eat?  I Don't want cereal twice in a row.  Hungry?  Actually not, at least yet.  I have some time to consider, as I prefer not to eat until hunger, or bodily churning, kicks in.  I'm not fully enough into keto yet to not ever have hunger.  Though sometimes it isn't there.  It is hit or miss for now.  Though, if I pay attention, when hunger isn't happening, I can sense the machine seeking energy.  With intermittent fasting, of course, it doesn't always get food.  In the feeding hours, however, I prefer to start eating on the active or passive signal, rather than just because, or by the clock (save as a time limiter and I.F. timer - eight hours of eating time, at least sixteen hours of no food).  Anyway...

A shower first thing.  Now to dress, get dishes going, get ready to water the quackles and cats, and try to hit the world.  I'll try to dig in today.  Later.

A different question.

.
.
I have been ignoring.  I don't care about stupid questions.  Days.  Longer?  I am in no shape to know.  Have you ever had someone at your door while you are trying to sleep.  They just won't go away.  Finally, you gather yourself, your attire, your mind, and you go look.  Perhaps curious by this point, or at least trying to remove the spirit of resentment before meeting the interlocutor... better have something important to say.

Well... I may not learn who this is, but I will answer the question so as to rest.

Awesome^2?

.
.
I believe it.  A couple hours after, blood sugar dropped more, to 167.  Cool.  I actually expected it to start rising.  Either way I planned to eat.  Two ounces of filberts... rounded up a lot, half an ounce or more... three ounces of salami sliced thin, and, say, three ounces of cream cheese, plus tea.

Cool.  Two hours later, a bit ago?  Blood sugar was down to 162.  Something good is happening.  Further, while I can't eat more, I don't have a heavy stomach, as if everything stopped in there.  Apple cider vinegar, I am sure of it.  It has acidified the gut.  I actually feared acid reflux, in spite of what I heard.  Nope.  It is helping.

The next trial?  Iodine.  I keep, and use, table salt, iodized... iodinized? with iodine.  I don't eat enough fish and sea food.  Or eggs lately.  Eggs?  Yep, I didn't know that either... if I haven't sorted out egg consumption required for daily recommended values.  I do know most people are short on this, very short.  Although there is a way to test.  I'll do that before buying a supplement.  It's... just on the mind... potential list.

Food is done for the day.  I'll test blood sugar in three then five hours.  Just tea from here on out, only one with sucradrops.  I still expect it may go back up.  We'll see.  Later.

Wow.

.
.
As I get ready to do things, a blood test.  A very nice if odd 181 number.  An hour after eating, only drinking a vinegar and tea in the interim (took the whole hour to drink the pint of mostly tea), my blood sugar DROPPED eleven points!  Now it will do that at some point when fasting blood sugar drops below 150, sometimes more after leveling there, but I've not had this happen above.  It only lowers, even then, for breakfast.  I am curious if this would work as such, later in the day, or for the second meal.  Crazy.

It is quite a thing.  I wouldn't have believed a food could do that.  Oh, but I can now be more sure apple cider vinegar doesn't trigger a glucose response.  It might even be what helped lower the number?  Helping digestion?  I don't... know... anything.  In time my suspicions, right or wrong, may lead to a more functionally healthy pattern of eating and living.

I will just end up dead, in the world (barring surviving to be among the quick taken for judgement, assuming I am human or that option exists if not).  But why not seek health so as to enjoy what life remains?  I might even seek a woman, if I could be a bit more active.  I think I am tricky and know I am foolish enough.  :p  I just need a little more life... Father.  *rictus grin*

Well, on to some things.  Good morning, day.

Almost back to a normal day.

.
.
No more split days, two per twenty four hours.  Going to bed in the evening, waking in the morning.  I can't recall bedtime.  After 19:00, but just or well after 21:00 I can't say.  Not much later, not any later.  Waking at 5:06 to be exact, with my current condition suggesting an eight to nine hour sleep... yeah.  It's just math.

A bit bruised and battered.  The fast, the bits of work, getting on medicine again, all combined to do a number on me.  Plus the cold.  All good.  Where would I be without challenges?  Another shower nearly right away.  Or bath?  My body aches.  A bath is better, but is a lot of work.  But Epsom salt!  I'd really like a bath.

I have been checking the ducks more frequently.  The fear of their water freezing...  Just that once, so far.  Some days they eat a ton, sometimes almost nothing, but water they use right down every day.  The last bag of feed is next.  The next time I am out I need to check on feed.  A non-soy mix, if I can afford it.  I like my animals, but also choose certain things myself.  It looks like they go through a bag a month?  Ah, they used to do that.  I am at half billet.  Still, the goal is more, and maybe meat, this summer.  Six bags?  If I can, four as a fallback proposition.  I plan on gifting one, along with some of the hydrated lime... spring is coming 'round the mountain.