It's been sort of rough?

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Nothing hurts.  While the antibiotics I am taking aren't as effective against the now known infection, it is slightly easing that.  I had hoped to get in today, but that just can't happen.  I did call, for a price check.  It will be roughly $15.  After taxes?  Any other costs?  I... should be able to do that.

It is 77 up here, cooler to much cooler everywhere else.  I haven't turned the ac on down here.  But did turn it on upstairs, as well as close that up, when I saw that it was in the upper 80s earlier.  Not even going to check on that.  Just too tired.  Yogurt and fruit.  I know, I just can't seem to get sweet or carbs generally, out of my system.

On into midmorning.

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I really didn't think I wanted to eat.  Cook.  Or even have coffee to be honest.  I was probably correct about not having coffee.  I may quit that for a few days.  I was worried the steak would be bad.  If it wasn't actually bad, that it would taste bad.  I was wrong.  I didn't eat the whole thing, just half.  But that was very good.

A new york strip.  Sometimes the fat on those is skanky.  Lately they haven't been.  But, too, I am buying, and eating, far fresher, far faster.  It was a wonderful meal.  A few chewy parts, but I can easily live with that.  I like some chew, in some of my meat, from time to time.

Up since twenty after midnight.

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Awake almost five hours.  A pleasant bit of being awake.

The internet cut out.  I was trying to comment something really politically incorrect.  I often will get my comment buried.  This time it was worse.  Initially that happened.  Then I tried to repost (learned the trick to copy, so I can just paste it back and go).  Nope.  The blog I was viewing became unavailable.  So I went to other blogs, in order to... reset, restore.  A few attempts to get back, and... the internet was cut.

Almost forgot.

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When one goes to an ER, not at the VA, even if sent through the VA, you have to call in within 72 hours, or so?  I was sent the number, but forgot to call.  I was going to do it last night, but crashed.  Then I meant to call first thing.  But it slipped.  Oh, that... could have been pricey.  So I got to it, hoping it was timely enough.

So tired, though.  Still awake, mostly trying to push through to remember to call.  Finally pulled the number down, then called.  Not too late.

Another mouse.

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Keeping the traps up, and baited.  Checking them from time to time.  Good think I keep checking.  Easy for one to be missed for a bit.  Surprising, mice can leave a major stink, that creeps out slowly.  But, once in place, it's rather potent.

Here at 10:35, it is still not yet 70 out there.  Very strange.  It is between hazy and cloudy to the east.  Surprised the sun didn't burn through it yet.  Feels like fall already and it isn't even August.  A slightly unusual weather system.  Usually mid to later August thing, or even September or October.

Still so tired.

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Up for two and a half, three, hours?  Though to be fair, it is still quite cool.  It is still right at 51 out there, 68 up front here.  A jacket might help.  A wonderful morning though, really.

Yes, a jacket.  I had coffee left over from last night.  Consumed that, but cold.  Water heating for a hot one this morning.  Hungry?  Yes, but I don't want to cook.

Awake plenty early.

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Was it... a quarter after four?  I think so.  Fresh water for Sassy, then food.  Fresh water for me.  I'll get medicine in as well.  That stuff seems to be helping.  It's cool indoors, and out, in the low 70s' everywhere, I think 71 was the highest reading.  Outdoor is down to 51, which was "parka" weather, in Charleston, S.C., as I remember it.  I still laugh at those folk, but that... is their winter.  It is, or was, shorts weather for an Iowan.  Though Utahns seems to think 30 F can be shorts weather.  If... not always as comfortably as they always suggest.  :p  Teens.  Bah!  Laughing with, and at.  Been there done that, or close enough.

Blood sugar is 241.  And for food that had a back-taste of vomit, rotten meat.  Never again.  Wow.  They are absolutely dropping quality.  Selling very old meat, if it even is meat?  Wow.  And charging bank for it.  Those workers have to know what they are putting out.  Perhaps they don't care, for the wages and "benefits" of "free food"?  Terrifying.  Lovecraftian dining?  I think so.

Got it all done.

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Medicine, steaks, coffee, water, and cream.  All but the cream in one place.  Two different payment methods.  Three actually, two on me from the present, one on me in the past.

Coffee ground, set up, and brewing.  Everything in and put up.  Medicine about to be taken, with the rest of the regular night things.

Mostly good.

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Medicines are available, from the store I need to visit anyway.  And, they carry my coffee.  The downside is it is a bit pricey.  No real choice.  Medicine has already been started.  Gotta keep it up.  They give me what of a break they can.  It's as good as it gets.  I have price shopped several times before.  It's all the same, or so close as to not be an influence.  Where, and when, being the bigger issues compared to pennies, or maybe a few dimes difference.

So tired though.  I almost wish I had told them all I'd be in later.  Rather tomorrow.  Two days out in a row is rough.  Even being out later doesn't help all that much.  Sure hoping I can just... get going, get back, take medicine, crash for a bit.  Get medicine later, and then sleep before too late again.

Steak.

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A type I have not tried before.  Petite sirloin?  Petite top sirloin?  Oh, just petite sirloin.  I did look it up.  Took a while to get to the bottom of the top of the petite.  Just petite.  The price looked good, and I really did end up liking the standard sirloin.  This?  By the cut, and look, and such, it should be good enough.

With the price right, and the cut looking good, I had to see if they could custom cut the things.  Thick cut, for such a small filet to work with?  Maybe.  So I called it in.  Spoke with the butcher.  Told him my wants  "We can try".  So, yeah.  I ordered a good little bunch of them, in the right size, one per package (or they will try to put them just about all in one package!  Ugh).

Up, for a while.

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I had to change my leg wound binding.  Had hoped to let it go a while, but was absolutely bloody.  I keep bumping it.  Well, and Sassy headbutts the area every time she gets hungry.  Though, really, she is just making it worse.  Not sure why, sometimes, some weeks, I just hit it hard, over and over, and don't seem to be able to guard it, consciously or unconsciously, the exact opposite for whatever reason.  And, when I do that, Sassy piles on, every time.  The scent, or feel of it, or my reaction?

More honey.  On the good side, that honey medicine is doing a wonderful job.  And I was as careful as possible to in getting the honey just in the wound bed.  You... need to do this correctly.  And, this time, I am going to try to shield the leg, so as to not cause excessive bleeding, and then leave the bandaging in place for a full week.  I had planned to that this time, but the bleeding was nearly leaking out of the airtight silicon dressing.  And, that WITH a sponge in there.  It was absolutely goobered up.

On to bed, finally.

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Up late enough to feed Sassy again.  And, whatever else the medicine did, it also started helping me go.  Fluids weren't a problem.  Though, was it the antibiotics, or the extra meals today?  Whatever the case, I have... had some reasonable release.  Might have to try to eat more of my calories, in meat rather than fatted coffee.  I've... lost some weight.

My weight was down to 234.5 today.  After if figured out how to get water flowing again.  A few extra waterpills the last few days, and extra fluid in.  It usually takes both.  Both it was.  I am sure tomorrow I will be down much further, anywhere from two to even six pounds down is possible.  Blood sugar will be up, from what I ate, a lot.  Oh well.  No choice, either end.

Oh? Nearing bedtime.

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I am staying up a bit longer for several reasons.  First, in an attempt to sort day and night a bit more solidly.  Or give that a shot.  As well, to feed Sassy another meal before going on to bed.

I checked outdoors around 19:00 to 19:30, and it was 70.  Here at 22:18 it is just down to 68.  The ac's are going.  Not sure how warm it got today, but it must have been rather warm, as the main area is 75, this front room is 77, and upstairs is 75 and 77?  I thought that is what I read going up a bit earlier?  Perhaps I didn't close a window, or one was opened by someone hearing me return home?  Yea, possibly still having break-ins.  Just a few... signs.  Traps possibly opened.  Though, over time, Sassy might do things.  Or very dubiously, I might undo a trap while doing something else nearby, but I don't think so.

Oh my word.

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A gooder, if long, day.  It was brutal to even get a shower, so getting out took even longer.  I didn't get out until 13:00, 13:30?  Did some business, quickly, and got in by 14:30?  Give or take.

They were busy at the ER.  But, given that, they were fairly on top of things.  I just got home, here at 19:28, but that was just as much to do with my bladder not wanting to top off.  They gave me a quart of electrolyte water, intravenous.  Which helped.  But even that took a while.  To be honest, I gave it a shot, not thinking it would work, just in case.  Dropped enough to fill the thing five times, besides the fill, at least.  When it rains, duck?

Hoping.

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Having a rough time getting going.  I thought coffee and food would help.  It really didn't.  I mean, it was good.  Just not... good enough.  Still, I will head to things now.

First a shower.  Then to get dressed.  It's up to at least 74 our there, if that was an half hour to hour ago.  The ac is off upstairs, will have to turn that back on.  It had gotten to 76 when I woke?  So is probably a good deal warmer up there.  I don't want to try to go to bed in the 80s, or especially the 90s up there.  No!

Amazed at how fake everything is.

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Oh, sure, I see it.  It hasn't been a secret, for a long time.  However, quite often, there was some truth to some things.  Places, people, ideas, which were still clear.  Now?

There are a few places which do some diligence.  I make the effort, if I keep out of the mainstream, purposefully.  And I have limits.

Up, but for the day?

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It was 76 up there, down near me.  Didn't look at the main room temp.  Warmer though, I have to guess.  Turned off the ac when I went to bed, opened the windows, since it was 59 outdoors.  It is 71/72 up front/in the main this morning.  The ac is also off down here.  The fans and ceiling fan are going.  And it has warmed just a bit, to 61 outdoors.  There is still some moisture on the ground, but not as if a fresh rain landed.  Only what remains from several to many hours after.  Still, always good to see rain.

Must have rained well.  There is a puddle out there, in the front.  Sort of unexpected, that.  Would have thought the world would have swallowed that whole, by now.  Though, it is where vehicles create a minor rut.  So it's not all as it seems.  Even so, a bit surprised.  A good surprise.

I have increased the water pill, back to the official dose.  Just to push the extra that was staying in me out.  It's not due to bp, or else?  Well, maybe.  I haven't been able to tolerate compression hose for a few days... week... weeks now?  Some short to middling span.  And, some resistance to going, from the infection, or whatever is happening in there.

Trying to think back, remember.  But I just don't think I caught my testicles anywhere, bumped them, crushed them, hurt them.  But that sort of pain is passing more fully.  It's different sorts of pain and discomfort.  Itchy in there?  Burns when I pee, usually.  The chord feels swollen, thus the resistance to going.  Some pain, radiating from the groin on up?  A bit of a knot of pain in the lower to mid torso.  Okay, some pain still reminding me of being hit, but much less at this point, on that score.  Well, the kidneys hurting just a bit.  And feeling slightly backed up, plumbing wise.  There.  Just trying to get the whole story down, before going in.

Blood sugar is still rather high.  With just water, since the beans and wienies, its down sixty four points, if still 146 fasting.  I can't believe the chili was so high, but I did have two cans.

Neck has kinks.  But else is okay.  Sassy slept with me, pretty much, the whole night.  She went downstairs a few times.  For business?  Water?  To scout her world?  I'd roll, get comfortable, and she'd be back.  I do enjoy having a sleeping pal.  She gets some itches and petting out of the deal, before I fall asleep.  She tries to poke my arm with her claws if she wants more, sometimes that works, mostly not.  I figure out how to keep her switch-blade claws from being able to tenderize my arm.  Brat!

On to looking around, waking up.  Good morning.  Good day.  Oh, I best check when the bank opens, and when costco opens.  Not necessarily for today, but... would be good to know, before long.

Thunder.

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Caught me off guard.  Such resonating booms.  Not as close as it sometimes is, but close enough to feel it.  I doubted it would rain.  Both a bit early, and just my standard pessimism.  So I didn't bother looking.  However, I had to get up for something else.  Water.

Decided to look.  Hmm, it wasn't water.  It was still 82 up here in front, which is oddly comfortable?  Well, sleep was so cold, so yes.  As I opened up I looked, well.  It's already dark, so I had to turn on the porch light.  Yes, raining, still, and for a while by the looks of things.  Nice, very nice.  So it was definitely cool enough to be worth the bother.

Some things seem better.

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Some things worse.  I was hoping I would wake up and just think, nah.  And nah, but not to going, to not going.  Not tonight, of course.  But, tomorrow, sure.

I finally got to sleep.  And slept well for a while.  Would still be sleeping, but a neighbor who is helping me with a will, called.  A copy!  I can work on that, rework any numbers, be more exacting.  There can be numbers, but percentages are best, with limits and maximums?

No, but I tried.

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I just can't get going.  Tomorrow.  If I am alive.  Probably be up later.  Just not for long.  Sleep is double cyclical, meaning I sleep twice a day, and hope for... a while longer up at some point, to get something done, anything.  Even just sitting for a while.

I've been sitting here, but mostly asleep.  No way could I even drive in, let alone a four hour gig, then a drive home.  Well, and I'd have to shower first.

Oh. Ugh.

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On the good side, they did pass the information on.  I was beginning to feel so terrible.  And had been on the line, waiting, for an half hour, because they were keeping people on the line excessively.  Anyway, so, yes, I got a call back.

Sounding out the symptoms?  It sounds rough.  It might be little to do about little, or it might be a serious infection, possibly of several places.  Never thought about kidney infection, or kidney and bladder?  But why?  Perhaps from the wound?  It... was exhibiting signs of infection.  And, of course, they always want to check the bum.  No, just no to that.

Public unions need to be destroyed.

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I called in to the VA.  I told the woman the problem, after being required to give her far too much personal data for her level of employment.  Then, giving her the information, and asking her to send a note to the nurse working with my doctor.  She wanted me to stay online.  I asked why.  She said to make sure she had it right?  Oh, there's... nothing extra.

She just wanted me to stay online to get more minutes of time, to put in.  She probably gets paid by the minute, or her employer (over)charges, by the minute, of which she gets a pittance.  And, she tried to force me to talk to a nurse.  The nurses they have through the center are more useless than the operators.

Awake yet.

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I wanted to sleep a long time ago.  It just wasn't 'doing'.  Even with ac's running, fans going, and everything set, currently, to optimal cooling, it is still 77 in this front room.  Outdoors is 67, and that only because a storm moved in?  Or... maybe that kept it warmer.  Sometimes it can do that, too.

I have the fan blowing right on me.  It actually makes it feel chill, but not really be cold.  Odd how that works.

Half a steak will do.

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I'll put the other half up shortly.  I did have bitters, as I suspected it would be a bit rich for my current condition.  I think that was a good call.  But, having some meat was really pleasant, needed, wanted.  A fatted coffee with it.  The rest of the day will be just water, perhaps with another dose of electrolyte powder, or just to finish off the first dose.  What of it is left in the jar.

I am still amazed at how sharp that mixer part was.  Cutting so deeply, and two thirds the length of my index finger?  Well, whichever finger is next to the pinky.  And, while my hands are petite, for my size, they are... long enough to palm a basketball.  Mostly.  Aging and lack of practice make that a bit tricky.

Brutal day.

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I was awake until... later in the morning.  Ten, noon, something.  I think?  Was so very tired though.  I was staying up in the hopes of getting to town to do shopping.  That... probably won't happen for days, maybe a week.  Why?  Because I am absolutely burned out.  Like a mouse, after a cat has played with me right up to death.  Things hurt in ways I can't understand.

I did find steaks, good ones and bad, in the drop in.  I tossed some of the bad, will have to toss more.  There is a real limit, especially on thinner steaks.  If you bother with thin steaks, eat them in two months, or just toss them.  They get greasy, are difficult to cook, and get frostbit very quickly.

On back to bed?

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I was looking for the burger.  It was left in the oven.  It doesn't smell, but it's not good.  So I just double bagged it, in grocery bags, tied it up, and tossed it.  Yes, it's not good.  Nothing else really available for dinner or supper, whatever you call it.  Which is fine... I really wasn't hungry anyway?  Hmm, maybe there is something in there, easier to eat.  Or... it just doesn't matter.

The last time I checked, it was only down to 68.  But that's been two hours ago?  It just isn't cooling off all that much.  Humidity is holding it, or was.  Which is fine too.  I just doesn't matter.  I should sleep well.  Oh, but it is up to 70?  Strange.  Humidity?  A front of some sort moving in?

Agony.

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The honey poultice hurt, a lot.  When I got home, and settled a bit, I decided to go on back to bed.  So very tired.  But that burning!  All morning.  I could rest, but not sleep, for the first... four hours?  Or so.

Rolling, flipping, flopping, trying to find a more comfortable position.  None were to be found.  simply resisting the urge to rip the dressing and honey medicinal patch off and out was... all that I could do.

Made it!

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A wound clinic appointment.  This morning.  I wasn't sure I would make it.  Even feeling better, getting a shower, getting dressed, and getting out on time, were all tricks I had to push to complete.

I haven't been tending the wound well.  So it was a bit rough, but not too awful.  The doctor is having me go back to the honey treatment.  It's not my favorite, it stings a bit.  I will do it, I will do it as well as I can.  He did teach me a minor trick, as to getting it to fit in more comfortably.  It will, does, burn a bit.  A price I will pay in order to get this stupid thing healed.

Just barely.

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I beat the alarm.  By five minutes.  I... just... wanted to see how close it was, rolled over and... just in time.  Now, initially I turned of the early time, so as to roll back in and sleep until the next alarm.  Before I even rolled over, I deciding against that.  I had set the alarm clock down and was about to tuck back in, when I just decided to get up.

It must be a better day.  Not that I am feeling a ton better.  I still have odd aches and such.  But, when I am doing better regardless of else, I... like to be out of bed.  As soon as possible.  I don't dream hard these days, or often.  But I used to hate to sleep for that reason.  The instinct remains.

Pretty good.

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It took hours, to get the griddle finished, a second go, then the burger cooked.  It got done.  I just finished a bit of it.  Can't eat much, didn't think I would.  Sure looked like a lot, but lettuce seems to be more eye than stomach.  A good cup and a half of burger, at most.  Some spice and sour cream to finish the thing.  Perfect?  More solid that I have been able to eat, and carnivore(ish) enough to not feel guilt.

I cleaned the griddle after finishing.  So, really, it's ready for more food, before too long, as needed.  I only use a portion of the grill, at any given time.  This time I used more, as I cooked a mess of hamburger into beef crumble.  Still, having been cleaned well, and again, and seasoned, then cleaned after, the two (of four) spaces I used are ready for another meal or three, depending on how well I clean after each.

Maybe.

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I got to the grill.  It needed some attention.  So I heated it, then went out with the duck fat.  Bleh.  Either the duck fat is rancid, or was just too strong?  Whatever the case, I decided not to continue with that.  Butter doesn't work, ghee perhaps, but I haven't made any.  Then I remembered.  Buckets of coconut oil.

But those are really old.  A decade?  Maybe.  Maybe more?  Kept sealed, in the basement.  What, about gallon or two gallon sized?  Something.  Organic, cold pressed, and as mentioned still sealed.  I had no idea how well that would work, but it's what else I had.

Better.

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Just plain better.  No major exemptions.  A bit of soft discomfort, but there... is... always soft discomfort.  Well, or more solid pain.  That is just life.  Failing organs, or the sense of it, is more severe, even for me.  And... mostly rare.  A few times a year, less these last few years.

I am hoping to get burger going on the griddle yet tonight.  Not sure, just hoping.  Then, to spice it, add it to romaine, add some cheddar and sour cream, and call it dinner.  If... the lettuce is still good?  I'll check shortly.  If I can get to it.

That did help.

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Yogurt and fruit.  Not the best, but tolerable, edible, comfortable.

I'll tell you, there for a while there, I thought I was, or might, die.  Didn't want to... put it out like that.  Something was really wrong.  I figured, one of those naps I just wouldn't wake up from.  Wow.  That was a bit harsh.

To eat or not.

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I hate when I get better, start feeling better, but not quite enough better to move on back into normal life things.  Like eating.  I have some want of food.  But my body isn't quite able to eat, digest, food.  Or... I don't believe it is.  Perhaps yogurt?  Or some mild egg dish, like custard?  But I would have to be able to stand long enough to prepare that, and tend it while it cooks.

That doesn't sound all that difficult.  But given my condition, it really is.  If I can even do something, it will probably be yogurt, with fruit.  Which will ruin my blood sugar, but get me something soft, easy to digest, and with some good with the bad.  Yes, I think I will eat, yogurt and fruit.

Better?

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Cautiously, I suggest that.  Everything that is wrong is still there.  Milder?  Improving?  I think so.  If, too, I can't yet be absolutely certain.  Sleeping a lot, that is certain.  Sleep really is helping.  Life has been very difficult since yesterday morning.  Before then, but it got really bad right about then.

If you have ever worked yourself half to death, into a dither, and kept going?  And your body finally just quit the whole game?  But, as it is starting to get oxygen back to the oxygen starved cells, lungs started not burning, muscles are just coming back from being burned out?  Not... back to it, just not as bad as it was, and more into recovery than still suffering?  That's... about where it feels like I am.

Really rough.

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Not sure what is so wrong?  The higher humidity, along with the higher heat?  Pushing a bit further than I should have, and in it?  My heart hurts.  My body in general hurts.  Everything, every part of my body, is tired.  More than tired, exhausted to the last bits of capacity.

It's as if everything I have for energy, and every little engine in my body... I am out of all fuel, and all the engines are completely overheated.  I am having trouble just sitting here.

Rough. Rough!

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Every muscle, joint, and bit of connective tissue which allows me to sit up, get out of bed, stand, lift, or else, hurts.  For no good reason.  If I had been working for days in a row, sure.  But I haven't been.  I have been, by necessity, taking it easy.  Maybe I did push too hard and I simply haven't recovered.  The little bit up on the roof was... something else.  Various other excursions, efforts, chores, too.

I like it, in one sense.  I love exhausting myself.  I just wish I had done more to get to this point.  Unfair.  Maybe.  But life isn't fair.  So... I just have to rest, relax, until I can get things rearranged.  The heat might be getting to me, or at least limiting my recovery.  All good.  I'll... do what I can.

Surprised.

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I did get the trash and recycling gathered and out, then to the curb.  Wasn't honestly sure that was going to happen.  My body hurts, my torso, legs, arms, neck.  Everything that is used to move, lift, carry... hurts.  Not... terribly, but tired too.  I wasn't sure I could do it.

As well, I bagged the bins back up, ready for this next week.  Nice.

On back to bed.

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Oh, but I have to get trash and recycling out.  Yes, I'll... do that.  The on to bed.  It was cool enough a few hours ago in order to turn the ac off down here, and open a few things up.

Still feeling rough.  Things hurt, inside.  Organs, bones, connective tissues, arms, legs, and midsection mostly.  The neck and back a bit as well.  It's a difficult time.

Oh, the side bruise.

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I had stopped checking it.  It seemed to have become... stuck, at about three to four ounce sized, or so?  Hard, but not like a rock.  More like a thick pack of leather?  I gave up on it, as it wasn't shrinking, softening, or doing anything.  A few days ago, quite by incident,  I bumped the bump, so decided to check it while reminded of it.

It is much smaller.  It is now, probably down to one to two ounces (think of a burger patty, but made of leather).  And deeper in.  If I brush by it, on the surface of the kin, it can't be felt.  I have to push in, find it, to sense it.  Fantastic.  Still, I hoped it would already be gone.  It's at five months now?  Or so?  The first appointment I have listed was the second week of April.  Though, was I going in before then?  Sometimes I just changed that date to the next, so sometimes I removed the previous day.  But that might be about right?

Not sure when, but back to bed.

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Again, again.  It is 20:27 as I wake.  I slept well, hard.  With the ac on since it was afternoon.  It is still on.  I'll want to turn it off before too long.  It is just down to 80 out there, but in the mid to low 70s everywhere, but 78 here.  Which... honestly, with the fan going, is pleasant.  Need a bit of warmth to kick the machine over.

Feeling better mostly.  Oh, the complaints remain, they are simply much milder.  Blood sugar had been 172 earlier when I was awake.  It is now 133.  For reasons, none, or maybe that was my body having some sort of hiccup in which blood sugar just wasn't... working, or was being mass produced for good or no reasons.  I have noted, at times, when my organs hurt, blood sugar can go a bit sideways.  There is nothing to be done for it.  But, 133 is better than 172, I'll happily take it.

Not dead!

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Still a bit miserable.  Waking midafternoon, around 14:30, I'm not moving fast or strongly or more than with some great effort.  The heart isn't tired, after a bit of rest.  But it feels like I was kneed in the groin, in such a way to harm the man parts there.  It hurts right up into my torso.  Some minor nausea.  I don't think I did catch them, or such.  I just think whatever is wrong is causing something like that sort of discomfort.

The back still hurts a bit too.  Muscles and arms ache for no good reason, more on the arms, biceps and triceps for no good reason.  Just getting off the floor, out of bed, was a stress to them for some odd reason.  And still a bit weary.  May go back to bed in a bit.  Or not.  If I can, I would love to sleep another four, six, ten hours?

Up, and all.

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Not staying up.  I had an event, but I am having to cancel.  I sent a text to the chief.  It is as much as I can do.

My heart hurts.  I took a handful of aspirin, for the pain and the particular sort of pain.  It can, has, helped.  I don't think I'll die, but I am toast.

Look, I... hear you.

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Believe?  Yes.

Remember.

Something is just off, rough.

.

.

I turned the ac off, as I went to bed.  Upstairs and down.  Even the fans were turned off most places, except upstairs.  It was 75 when I woke up, upstairs, and down.  If 77 up front here.  Still, that is comfortable enough.  I turned the ac on upstairs.  And may, in time, turn the ac on down here.

Feeling just a bit ill, and still tired.  Even so, I wanted to wake up for a while.  To post a blog, see who else has posted whatever it is they might.  See about the few news sites I offer some very limited credence.  None of them are good with details, but sometimes they can put out the more simple, basic, idea of what is happening here or there.

So very tired again already.

.

.

Why?  I can't say.  I have had coffee.  Though that sometimes can cause exhaustion itself?  Seems to, though not always?  I don't understand, not fully.

I shut the ac off, downstairs.  Upstairs was turned back on as I left.  If I go back to sleep, I will probably just leave that on.  Fans are off, too.  Reasonably cool this morning, 57 or 60 the last time I looked.

Quite a few tunes...

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.

This first one just caught my eye.  Most like it, presented in this way, are pure garbage.  I toss them after a very short attempt at a listen.  This one... was pretty good.  It presents as I sometimes prefer.  Sounds pretty good.  So, yes, I'll share out this one.  It's a... niche taste.  I understand.

When to bed?

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.

I can't be absolutely certain.  Not even roughly so?  My final post was at 20:28, but that is when I started it.  It... took a bit to get it written, edited to the point I do that, vids chosen, curated, and placed.  And, I... usually can't go right to sleep.  An idea expose sort of... invigorates.  I have to come down from them.  Usually.  So, perhaps, 21:30 at the latest?

Ah, fireworks had started going off, and probably sounded off for an half hour before going up?  Which means sundown.  We have a special state-like 4th of July, but coming up.  And, fireworks are allowed a few days before and after.  That is why the fireworks.  Quite the thing.  If you like fireworks, to a degree, this is one of the better places to live.

What... dreams?

.

.

But... I have the sense they are not mine.

Who, out there, was touching my mind?  Do they know what they did?

10:30

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.

I just couldn't sleep.  Too warm?  And cold.  Odd.  Upstairs, under the covers, I was freezing?  No, I had turned the ac off.  I left the fan on is all.  I hadn't opened up.  It didn't matter.  Very strange.

Down here it has been 75, mostly.  Outside it got down to 57 or so, this morning, the lowest I saw it.  It stayed 70 upstairs, even with the ac off for hours, remained that until I quite trying to sleep after four hours?  Ugh.  Felt like the cold of death, which is part of the reason I had food.  Not so much out of hunger, just a... sense of something wrong?  Off?

I am hoping to get to bed shortly.  A strange night for music, and else.  What is about to happen?  Darkness wishes to consume.  I'm not sure from whence that comes, or which side it attacks from?  Which sides.  The forms it takes are not as they would seem.  The truth is, many who would seem allies aren't, and the enemies are working with many who present as "us".  Believe nothing you see, don't just take what you are told, either by "friends" or enemies.  They are far too often the same.

I'm not feeling well.  Not sure why.  I may have to change a few things up.  Though, there may be nothing to do for it.  Something is very strange.  Here, there, everywhere.  Even in my home.  Later, or more likely goodnight... or as close to that as I get.  Have a great day.

Why?

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.

A bit of rest.  Not much, not long.  No sleep, I think?

Hungry.  So, I got up and ate.  Polish sausages, and 'better' bread.  Bread with a carb to fiber ratio of 3:1, with no added sugar (if the labels can be trusted, believed).  As well, a fatted coffee.  I may eat more.  Fry burger, add carolina reaper, salt, pepper, cayenne, and regular hot pepper flecks.  Putting that on lettuce, perhaps with sour cream.

Hungry?

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.

Yes and no?  I don't feel hunger pangs, as such.  It is more as if my body is telling me food would be acceptable.  Not required, just... passing a note suggesting food would be acceptable.  Initially, as I learned to fast, I would just take the "note".  Leaving it there.  At this time, I sort of infer, back to my body, that we won't be eating today, or tomorrow.

Can I really talk to my body?  Not, verbally?  But I think I can inform it, in some way.  I do make the attempt.  Does it matter?  I can't say, exactly.  One might think the body would just know.  But I don't think it does.  It is me, right?  Well, yes, and no.  It is a part of me.  But not a mindful part of me.  That is the brain, and the heart (if that is separate from the brain, in truth).

A very long nap.

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.

No real idea when I went down?  I thought, maybe, around 15:30.  But that would have been the absolute latest.  Had been thinking of just a nap.  No coffee today, and... else.  I may not have done much lately.  But I have had several appointments and engagements, which I have been keeping up on.  Up here at about 19:30.

It is down to 73 outside?  Already?  A storm moved in.  Or... is... teasing.  Cloud cover, if lighter of nature.  Could still gather to a rain, or not.  A bit early in the year for that, but this is a cooler year, so given the category of the year, not completely out of character for it.

I did get up before noon!

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Oh, I heard the eight alarm.  Was almost sure I had this one.  Then... kept hitting the snooze.  The only thing I could get to move was the arm.  Then I was sure, though, when the ten went off, I'd have that.  Nope.  Sleep clobbered me so that I only ever heard one or two of the alarms.  Must have slept right through snoozing the hour away.  Still, eleven thirty beats fifteen thirty!

It is 84 out there today, but 72 upstairs, 74 downstairs pretty much everywhere.  I had everything open, shutting it all down when I got down here.  Well, shutting some things down.  Oddly, keeping some windows open really does help keep the place cooler.  I don't fully understand, but I'll take it.  Doors, and a certain window, have to be shut or heat pours in.

So late.

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Had meant to be to bed by 22:30 or so.  Here it is, 02:01, as I sit and right.  Ah, it's still 77 up front.  If in part because I am still here, the computer is on, and the router is pumping out heat.  Oh, it's not uncomfortable.  It's pleasant, really.  And about as warm as it has been since... noon?  Or... whenever I woke up anyway, give or take.  Maybe not immediately, but... before long.

Steak, fatted coffees, and water.  But... it doesn't seem to be working.  So I went looking for a meal tracker.  I found one I am going to try.  They tried to force me to sign up.  Which I wasn't going to do.  At $40 a year?  For an app that really doesn't do that much, other than spy?  Something I could do with pen and paper?  No.

Awake for a while now.

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I woke up around 15:00 to 15:30?  More middling in there, I think.  Meant to check the temp out there, but never did.  Still haven't.  Probably won't.  Just don't want to, at this point.  Nearing 19:00, I have just been drifting.

My mother called.  I had a lot to tell her, about things going on.  I asked about family and friends from back there.  Everyone seems to be still kicking, and doing as well as they can.  She is doing well, a few concerns.  I'll add them to my prayer list.  One of our fellows was in an accident.  I continue prayers for him, his friend, the others involved, and family.  Always other concerns, specific and general.

Still awake.

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.

Why?  I have been thinking about that.  I suspect because life is... too comfortable.  With the ac's running, and fans just so, and such?  I am too comfortable to exhaust myself.  And, yet, still too worn from recent efforts to quite be able to push through, do more, and cause myself to trip into weariness.

I will get to sleep before long.  And rest well.  If, too, I may have to go a bit off schedule.  Days will become nights, and food will be off, as with medicine.  Everything is about to do summersaults because... things went from becoming far too hot to becoming extremely pleasant in a period of two days.  My system will have to adjust.

I made it!

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.

Had a men's meeting tonight.  I had... forgotten.  Woke a bit late.  Not too late.  My phone, this time, hadn't lost the schedule.  So let me know the meeting was tonight, and when.  I had to shower, and skip on, pretty quickly.  I like to be slightly earlier, but not always is that possible.  Still, I was an quarter hour early.

Went in, and on to things.  There is starting to be more folk showing up.  I think there were seven members, and two others.  Not sure if the two others are higher ups, joining, or doing a looksee.  Typical of meetings I have attended, with a new group leader.  Several things coming up, things on the agenda, business and plans for events.  Making money, spending money, though sometimes just doing/being/and else.

What a sleep!

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.

Some yesterday, a lot today.  Just waking at 14:30 or so.  Fed the furry girl, refreshed her water.  Brushed my teeth then set the alarm for an half hour, after which I will start water heating for coffee.  And check the litter box.  I think she left a few gifts.

Yes, when my teeth are this nice, it's easier to brush, and keep up on that.  It's still amazing that, after decades of heavy drinking of coca-cola, coffee, tea, and lots of sugar, plus high carbs, that the last cavity was in '93.  And, I did have the start of one or two?  They said those would not improve.  They are gone.  I... do what they say can't be done.  Oh, and I stopped brushing my teeth by then, and really... didn't brush until... four or five years ago, if even just occasionally then.  No, you really couldn't tell by looking.

Way late.

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.

I just got lost in the night.  I set the ozone machine going.  Then... dithered about whether to go on to bed, or wait for it to do it's job.  I ended up staying up.  Then resetting it for another run.  Hmm...  Okay.  I'll check it in a bit.  One thing I'm not sure about is if this is a problem for gas furnaces?  Well, my furnace isn't running, but the pilot light is always lit.

While I was giving the second run a go, I decided to make the 'keto pancakes'.  I set the eggs out, in warm water to get them warmed.  As well, putting in a block of cream cheese so that it would be easy to blend.  Not... sure where the blender parts are.  So I used a mixer bowl that came with the blender.  A mini-food processor.  Worked well enough.

Things.

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.

I started out by setting up the ozone machine, in the suv.  It is on a timer, set for three hours.  Will see how it works.  The windows are mostly closed.  It is in the garage.  The garage door is open slightly, at the bottom (of course?).  Hoping it helps both the vehicle and the garage.  Will see.

---------

It was down to 74, last time I checked.  Outdoors.  It is 72 in the main room, was 82 in this front room.  Which is partially shut off, though there is a barrier of sorts in any case.  Air doesn't flow from the main to here, or vise versa, easily.  I decided to open the front door, see if that would help.  It's down to 80.  In the last half hour?  Hoping for more, but... maybe not.  Upstairs is probably remaining in the 73/75 zone.  While I won't turn off the ac up there, I will turn off a second fan.  That seems to help in the day.

I have tried to shut it off.  But, remember, and was reminded, that doesn't work.  It just takes far too long to cool the zone up there.  So that I end up sleeping warmer than I would like.  No, I'll... just... keep that going.  If the nights cool off to even fifty, I'll open things up, shut things down, and use fans.  Otherwise, no.  I'll... just keep it cooler.

---------

I did get the steak cooked.  And had another fatted coffee.  Wonderful.  Blood sugar is 135?  Stupid.  I am doing everything right, even skipping fast food temptations.  Very annoying, when I'm doing everything correctly.  Oh well.  I'll keep at it.  May have to quit the sweeteners.  Even cut down on fatted coffee too?

Half of a thick cut ribeye is about ~702 calories.  A cup of whole cream is about ~809 calories, with the goal being 1,800 to 2K calories...  That leaves three hundred to five hundred calories for another fatted coffee.  No, I am doing things right.  I... just had to redo the calcs.  Hmm...  I am not losing weight.  I may have to cut out that last three to five hundred calories.  Or measure things exactly?  Annoying.

---------

Speaking with the dental hygienist, she suggested an electric toothbrush.  I had some qualms, and asked several questions.  Her answers got me to considering, reconsidering, the matter.  The brands she suggested have a limiter, so that I wouldn't overdo.  She said.

So, tonight, after things were managed, and time was more open, I decided to review the brands she recommended.  Found one that would work.  Found some with apps.  No.  NO!  Get those f'ing things out of my ao.  Apps are notoriously insecure, both inside and outside of the company.  They steal, and use, your data however they like.  Clear your personals?  Want to bet?  Go get another jab, joker.  *sigh*  No.  NO!

I did find one that didn't require an app, and didn't have one installed, or possible.  Not that... the device can truly be considered secure, these days.  Whether it listens to you, and sends... collects general data... or else.  The nice thing about a stone house is it... isn't friendly to almost any transmissions.  Nice...  Though... even this isn't perfectly safe, just... a bit better.

I was having trouble finding replacement heads.  Won't buy if those aren't available.  Finally found those, and so ordered a few.  Hoping the main unit will last two to four years, so bought enough for between those periods.  As well, ordered the base.  Will see if it works as they say.

---------

I asked about whitening processes.  I expected $600 or even much higher.  The last time I checked, that was bogus expensive.  A different city and state, but still.  They must have decided two a year, or forty a year, thin choices.  It seems not so much.  I have... expenses, right now.  So can't get in too soon.  But, at that price, I may try to store up and get that going in the next two to four months?  Or so.

---------

Ugh.  I think it is about bedtime.  I am deciding how to set things up, through the night.  Will set the alarms for a bit earlier.  Am still hungry, so may have some yogurt and fruit, even if it will blast my blood sugar.  It's being a sh*t anyway.  So... might as well have something I like.  Bah!

---------

Oh, I also did get to the store, if I didn't mention it.  Now, with cream cheese, lemon, raw cream, and sour cream, I should be able to mix up a batch of cheesecake, and those, what I call, keto (or even carnivore) pancakes?  Oh, yes.  I think so.  Best get on it, before anything goes bad.  Oh... really looking forward to that.  Might even make a whipped cream topping!

Goodnight.

Wow.

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Far more done than anticipated.  On the good side, it didn't get as warm today.  It is down to 84, but at 19:03 that isn't exactly fancy.  Though that it only got up to 92, as the highest I saw it, was a... more moderate day.  Really, 92 to 95 is... high summer temperature normals.  A 108 day is rare, an 82 degree days is about as rare.  The rest varies.  Still, it was hotter there for a few days, and expected to remain above average for a week or three.  Surprise!

The first problem was dental.  Not a problem, but the first thing.  It looks like my brushing regimen is better.  I had been indenting my teeth, by brushing too hard.  After the last two visits, we worked up a method for me to try.  No real grip, more like cupping the tooth brush in my hand.  And, that has worked.  As well, the usual problems they see, plaque and bleeding gums?  The plague was light, down from heavy.  And not gum bleeding.  And the indents weren't worse.  So... very good.

Pretty good.

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I am in recovery from pushing the heat a bit far before finally turning the ac's on.  Not as bad as I have done some years, but enough that it is still a recovery phase.  That was the main problem, or half of the problem, with the roof?  Though it was steeper than... anticipated.  I really thought I could do that.  Though being burned out from the heat was an extra saddlestone.

It was between 75 and 76 near where I was sleeping last night.  Doesn't sound all that much cooler, but with the fans and ac going up there, it was cool enough that I needed blankets.  If I have to keep it cool enough to need blankets, or too hot to wear clothes, I'll take the blankets.  The main part of the room is staying near 73.  The sun bakes my side of the house, and the house holds it.  So... that is just how it goes.

Awake, if for a bit?

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When did I wake up?  Around 2:30?  It is 3:44 as write.  Just... looking around the web, feeding Sassy, resetting a couple of jugs of reverse osmosis water.  When I woke, I checked the temp outside.  It was only down to 68, but was raining?  Very strange.  That it would be that warm still, that it would be raining at all, and that both would happen at once as a doubling down on both of those others?  Or such.

A double dose of electrolytes.  Not that it is terribly needed, strangely.  Keeping up, as I haven't been consuming as much as I feel I should have been, especially in this heat of late.

Still rather warm.

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.

Outside it is hitting 86/87 at 19:30.  Inside, it is 86 in the front room here.  But cooler elsewhere, 73 in the living room and kitchen maybe, 75 and 78 upstairs.  Warmer where I sleep.  It looks like heat is here for a while.  Certainly through the night.  I am pretty battered by it.  If much better, with all the givens, than I could have before imagined, for decades.

Fruit and yogurt bumped blood sugar up... to 181.  Oh well.  No other food today, just didn't get to it.  Meh.  Half a steak would have helped bring that down.  But I just... can't get to it.

The rest of the place is cooler.

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.

The living room is 73.  Upstairs I don't quite know.  Last I checked it was 77, in the main, so probably 80 near my sleeping area.  But I turned the ac on, thinking I would be getting to sleep soon.  I would guess I'm dealing with 75/76 in the main, and 78/80 near where I sleep.  Perhaps cooler, if anything though.  Up front here, in the computer room, it is 84.  Outside is 95.

I thought it would be hotter today, given how warm it started, at that early hour.  Usually, around ten, it is just hitting the low to mid 70s.  So 82 was a bit of a punch in the gut.  Thankfully, it didn't really, or much, build on that.  No more than it would, usually, if I just had to say.  Though it is building on itself, day over day.  It is what it does.

So warm.

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.

I let the ac go all night, upstairs.  Letting it time out downstairs.  It was 73 in the main, upstairs, 75 near me... or 76.  Comfortable enough.  After days of heat, now, building, I need and want the cooler temps upstairs.  And, will work on the downstairs, a bit.  Not even eleven and it is already 82 outside.  Which is due to that hot air coming through last night.  It didn't cool.

Oh, there are people who have it far worse.  Las Vegas, for example.  I had friends traveling that way for personal business, and last I heard it was going to be 118 F there.  I suspect that is one of their hotter days.  Some years they don't get that hot, some years it seems like half the summer?  Can't be certain, but... just from stories and other data I have obtained, if only roughly remember.  But I don't live in Vegas, if that is only one of the reasons.  Where I live, 82 at just before eleven (and probably through the night?) is hot.  Or warmer.  And heading to a blistering potential high for the day.  Vegas can cool at night, but again, not always.

--------

Nice, then strange.

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.

I opened up, right before getting in to take my shower.  Hoping between the ac and the open home, plus the cool night, the house would cool a bit while I cleaned myself.

The shower was wonderful.  Needed and wanted, plus cooling.

Down to 70.

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.

Outside.  Staying pretty warm in here, downstairs.  Not sure about upstairs yet.  It seemed to have cooled off a small bit.  I still haven't gotten a shower.  But it is about that time.

Sassy was fed for the last time for the night.  she gets fed well, and fresh water ever other day with this heat.  She doesn't drink all that much, but needs fresh.  I can tell.  That and the bugs find the water pretty quickly.  I need to get the place sprayed.  You can spray, and it does good, for a bit.  But nothing is every hundred percent.  Still, I'll get to it.  And, certain parts of the year, like high summer, bugs just... happen.

Nope.

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.

I will be calling in, to Bosch.  It doesn't dry, or the way it is set up currently.  Living in an arid region on top of that?  If your biggest selling point is that your machine dries dishes the best of available machines, then... that is sort of expected.  Especially at a premium price point.  As for cleanliness?  I did find a spoon with something still on it.  I won't call it bad.  Maybe that was seriously dried/caked on?  But I didn't think so.

It did run quietly enough.  The second run was on the sixty minute cycle.  The thing isn't even that full, say half, at most.  So it wasn't an issue of having too many items for it to dry?  I just don't know what the problem is.  I put in a couple of quart jars, which were a bit grungy.  Not filthy, just film from several soakings.  Those came clean as a whistle.  But, too, they were still wet.  Dripping.  I don't like that.  Does the dry system take longer?  I just don't know.  Something isn't working.

Wasn't sure.

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.

The last time I was out, trying to buy a ribeye roast, all that was available was prime rib.  Same same?  Yes and... no.  Usually prime rib is less fatty.  It isn't bad, but if your thought is to sink your teeth into a ribeye, even cut down, this isn't usually it.  It's not a bad meat.  It just isn't usually as rich.

Still, it is what they had.  So I bought it.  It was in the little new fridge.  Which had been set a bit too cold.  Making it more like a freezer.  Good to know it will act as such, though.  There are times when that would be handy.  And, that, even in high summer.  Finally, a few days ago, I pulled it out, and cut it into thirds.  Three large, inch and a half, ribeye like, steaks.

Not sure when I went down?

.

.

After eleven... something.  That is when I last posted.  Not too long after, though.  As I recall, I was fading fast, hard.  Crashing in a nasty way.  Slept very well.  It got up to 82?  Or so.  But that wasn't too bad.  However, I was on the edge of fear that it would warm more.  So, pushed up, when I could get up.  Right around 17:00 and smaller or larger change.

Sassy was hungry, so I fed her right away.  Well, after a minor chore.  I wanted to get the ac going up there.  So I set one of them up, but had to figure out the extension cord, get it set rightly in the window, then turn it to the right setting.  As well, I had to close most windows, if leaving one open just a crack, for air movement.  Leaving the fan going too.  I'll check it in a few hours.

Okay?

.

.

Wow.  Good think I had people help with the roof, do the roofing really.  I did get up there.  And I helped a very little.  Just handing over shingles.  There was absolutely no way I could have stayed up on the roof, handled the shingles (even gotten them up there), and nailed them down.  The roof was steeper than I... could have guessed.

I needed help to even get up.  And feared getting down.  I did make it down without any extra help.  But... barely.  Wow, that was brutal.  I am absolutely shot just from that bit.

A bit of sleep.

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.

A bit warm.  Not... warmer than yesterday?  Warmer longer, later into the night, I suppose.  Just not comfortable.  So I got up, hoping it would be cooler downstairs.  And it is.  While it was 84 upstairs, though slowly dropping, I think down to 81 as I came down an hour ago, it was already from 70 to 72 down here.  It reads 73 here, now.  But that is just with the computer and router on.

I fed Sassy.  Will probably feed her again, before going on back upstairs.  It is cooling off outside, but not all that cool.  Take what you can get.  Hoping it is down to even 78 up there?

I am hungry, too.  Just not hungry enough to dig around for something, or make a coffee.  Just... a bit frumpy and grumpy about it.  At least I have cooled down just looking through the web, trying to find a story to craft with music, and such.  Just... not happening.  So I'll try to go on back to bed.  Goodnight, again.

Bah!

.

.

Some of it.  I did get the water hose connected.  Turned on.  And it seems to work?  Can't get it to run long enough to be sure, can't hear it (it really is quiet, if it is actually running?), and the controls just don't function.  It won't take input and start a load.  Pushing a number of buttons has gotten it to seem to turn on.  But... no.

I can't get it to level, either.  I have... my doubts.  Perhaps tomorrow it can be sorted out.  But, for tonight, I am done.

Quick.

.

.

Tomorrow, I am told?  Help, with the roofing, and with getting the dishwasher installed?  Nice.  I think I have all the cash needed.  And... will have to offer some food.  It's not perfect, but sharing out steaks is... a... return, as I am able.

I am hoping to help out with the roofing.  To do what I can do.  They had planned to have a brother on both sides, but I will replace one.  I may be slower, as a learner.  But I... want to work.  Need to work?  Need to try to work?

-------

Down at nine.

.

.

Up at 14:30 (12:00 (noon) + 2:30 (two and a half hours) = 14:30 (military/24-hour time).  You are welcome, if you haven't figured it out yet.  Anyway... it was so warm when I woke up.  84, upstairs.  Slightly overcast/hazy out there.  No matter, it is 97 outside.  I guess I shouldn't complain too much.  That is the coolest (barring using the ac) it has ever been up there in the summer otherwise.  And, my tolerance is incredible.  Compared to... since before I became ill.  Maybe better now than even then?  Possibly.  Though I tolerated high heat and high humidity, so... maybe not.  If, even then, my tolerance of cold was always better, and may be slipping.

Still, sleep was wonderful.  There toward the end it was getting a bit rough though, I will admit.  But wind from the east started blowing in.  Hot wind.  In two words, it sucked.  And, it was a bit humid, as if the monsoon season will be starting early, or mother earth is... queefing.  :p

Delivered.

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.

Not installed.  But... inspected and found to be in good order, from what I can tell.  However, to run it I will need to install.  I did find the soap and jet-dry.  Of course, first, I have to get it powered, watered, and drained.

Initially, with what arrived, I thought I might need help.  An electrical hardwire package came with it.  Well, with a charge.  I'll be returning that.  As, with the machine there is also a three-prong connection so as to simply plug the thing in.  It's pretty short, but... I... can fix that.

Up, on time.

.

.

The alarms were set for five and six.  I prefer two hours between the alarms.  Went to bed too late to try for a four alarm though, and the delivery may be as early as seven.  I didn't want to be just waking up when that arrives.  Limited choices.

I woke up at 4:35 or so.  Realizing I wouldn't wake up by five, I turned that alarm off.  But, slowly started waking anyway, making it awake by 5:35.  Up, and out.  Still a bit of a sleepy head, but... awake and going.  Sassy got fresh water, and food, right off the bat.  I have water heating, for coffee.  And some water going down, along with medicines, as the water heats.

About that time.

.

.

Fairly warm up in this front room.  At 84.  It remains cooler in the main room, say 76.  Cooler yet in the kitchen.  I'll bet upstairs is a bit warm yet too.  It is down to 72 outside.  Not bad, given that it was up to 96 to 98 today?  Something like that.  Could be worse, may get worst.  Not completely unusual.  And, yet, probably a bit warmer than nominal?  Something like that.

I am... comfortable, all in all.  A bit tired.  If I did do a pretty good lot of work, on some rather warm days, inside and out.  So, sure.  Given the givens I am doing very well.  I'll just need to rest until I can get back to things.

-----

Whisperings.

.

.

From this side, and that.  I... had to chuckle.  I assumed they were fiction.  Kept rerolling the dice.  The same "numbers".  From two sides of one?

Or one side of two?  Can never be certain.

Awake, finally.

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It was 84 up there, when I was finally able to wake.  I had set the alarms for six and eight, to absolutely no good.  I have... pushed things.  Was lucky to make it to the meeting last night.  But... did.  And home.  The meeting didn't wear me, or getting to it.  I didn't get a shower in, before going, but had one just yesterday, and was mostly still good.

I probably won't do much today, though.  Just... I have pushed things.  So, a day of resting.  I may not even eat today.  Fatted coffee, sure.  But... just light even on that.

Oh, I get it.

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Difficulties, with other people.  Slights, differences, oddities, sins.  Watch anyone long enough, close enough, you will see their flaws.  Sometimes they will show you, directly.  Sometimes you will just notice.  Is someone else's sins your problem?

Yes, if they are open, out, and public about it.  If they are serious enough, in that they hurt someone else, or many others.  Possibly even if they only harm themselves, as the individual of concern.

Ah, the meeting.

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Trying to get some things sorted.  But it has started.

I haven't been being invited, for one reason or another, until this time?  But, it... has started.  Some dues to pay, in this particular portion.  Okay.  And... trying to get the new card, for my station.  So, okay.  Some of this, and some of that.  It is another level, within the organization.

It arrived.

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On first blush, I am well pleased.  It has weight, and really does look to be stainless steel.  Polished chrome outside, pure stainless inside.  It is a Demeyere, or J.A. Henkels Zwilling product.  They... have some name recognition with me, if that's not why I purchased it.  I don't (altogether) care about the name, it's the product and real qualities.  This was advertised as being what I want.

And?  On first blush, it seems to be just that.  As mentioned.  I am heating water in the pan, for a last time.  Why?  I don't want to pour that water into the new kettle.  There just seems to be extra in it.  I'll use fresh reverse osmosis in it.

It took forever.

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I ordered a stainless steel water heater, with whistle.  Stovetop sort.  I will look it over, compare the idea to the problems people seem to have with it.  If I think they got a lemon, or broke the thing and tried to get a free one after the fact, or such (a lot of liars in the review section... some anyway), I'll keep it.  Everything from China, at all price points, is suspect.

I have purchased All-Clad, when most of it was made in America.  The found a piece that was, while still very expensive, on a bit of a discount.  So I took it.  I started having problems with it.  The metal browned/rusted in an odd way.  Went looking.  Found out a) it was produced in China (now all All-Clad is) and b) there was no warrantee, guarantee, or such.  All-Clad had been life-time guaranteed.  Now, a year or something?  If that?  Getting ahold of anyone was impossible.  I realized, at least then, that they no longer had any product backing.  So I stopped buying All-Clad.

Now this?  I don't know.  I have seen complaints about the All-Clad whistling kettle getting rust, but not this one.  This is supposed to be a higher tier too.  But seems to actually be constructed of stainless, not whatever All-Clad is now constructed from (stainless doesn't rust like that).

Why spend more?  To get actual stainless (or try), and no plastic.  So that the item should last a lifetime, or two.  I am tired of buying questionable products, which break either from inferior materials and plastics which become brittle or melt, pots made of potmetal, so rust and else, and/or electronics that break down.  Trying to buy one last tea kettle for the rest of my life.

It costs twice what most kettles cost.  But, if it is actually stainless, and reasonably constructed, it will last my lifetime, and maybe find a new home when I am gone.  As is, the other kettles last two to five years.  It's a bet, if played correctly, I can't lose.  If... I can afford the upfront costs.  And... I will, did?  We'll see.  If it is inferior, for that price, back it goes.

Though, maybe, this one was actually made in Europe?  Not sure if they use the trickery that American companies do, of having China manufacture and ship all the parts, then just assemble them here, and are able to legally call it "made in America", when it really, truly, absolutely, is not an American product.  I wonder where Trump buys the hats he tosses?  Where they are actually made?  All trickery, from both sides, most likely.

Anyway, it took a long time to arrive.  Supposed to be here today, though... I won't hold my breath.  Even so, curious.

However, I think I need a nap.  Just... tapping out.  Maybe to noon.  Was hoping the items would arrive, but not yet.  I'll go on to nap.  Hopefully just a few hours.  But... I'll see.  Hmm, may set a few alarms.  Did have a steak, morning meds, and a fatted coffee.  Water the rest of the day.  Later.

Apre bread?

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I mean, I wasn't sure if the blood sugar would seriously spike after eating bread, with the hotdogs (actually polish sausages, but... tomato tomato, shut it).  At 132, it is slightly more elevated, but not into the two or three hundred range, which common bread will do.  And, yes, I looked for a bread with the ratio, and no sugar added.  Almost a unicorn to find, but it exists, in some stores, or places.  Can't remember where I bought it?

Avoid Amazon, they charge a lot, and their bread is... often... questionable.  They cut edges I won't go with mostly.  The few they have that technically look right (and some that absolutely fail) cost from $8 on up for a smaller loaf quite often.  Buying them in groups doesn't help that much, either.

On to bed.

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A rather pleasant afternoon and evening.  It remains 79, if I never opened the front door.  Still, I am very comfortable at that temp.  Life is good.

I put a few slices of bread, with a 6 to 1 ratio of carbs to fiber, and no sugar added, into the oven.  Then microwave heated four hotdogs, of the better type.  Might boost my blood sugar by a little to a lot, but... was hungry.  Wasn't all that much, but it was something, and something different.

A rather good nap.

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I wasn't sure if it was going to be a nap, or out for some large chunk of the evening, night, and possibly morning.  Two hours, as it turns out.  For me, that's about as limited a nap as I generally can do.  So... all good.  Down at 15:30ish, up at 17:30ish.  All very good.

It was 82 up there, near me, 81 in the main.  It was 78 down in this front room, but has gone up a degree since turning the machine back on, and being here as well.  The main part was 73, just turned 74.  The kitchen is, or was, closer to 72.  Pleasant.  Even 78 is nice, after 82.  And, yet, I was resting well at 82.

Late!

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Running slow, lost my phone, had to shower.  Got the shower in, dressed, then started looking.  For whatever reason, I thought it was still in the eighth hour.  Couldn't find the phone here, or there, or anywhere I would usually put it, or leave it.  Not the bathroom drawer I use for my simple things while showering, or in the sweats I wore yesterday, or the pants.  Not on the desk, on the coffee table, or in the kitchen somewhere?

Had I lost it again, or had it be stolen, again?  Ugh... here, there, other places.  Dropped out of my pj's, near where I sit... or recline?  I found it it the couch, near one side, tucked in?  That... shouldn't have been.  Even if I had lost it on the couch, I didn't sit near that end.  Doesn't make sense.

Shortly before I realized I was going to be late, but had no way to call, and no way to make it in on time, I got very frustrated!  Ugh.  By the time I found the phone, it was a minute past my appointment.  Still, I called.  To reset or... rearrange the appointment.  Not too unhappy.  I think this is my first technical miss?

And, they had an appointment come free just this morning.  I'm not the only one, just the only one without a phone.  We set it up and I got in.  Nice.  I did ask about the wound, drying out.  They gave me a method to sort that out.  Rather than changing it too often, just open it up a bit, and hydrate it.  As well, they didn't want me double packing the wound bed.  Even if it isn't visible, they said, it was still acting.

So back to every three days, if opening up to add fluid, for me, probably every day and a half.  I can do that.  Do I trust them?  Yes, I... do.  Enough to follow their orders.  If that doesn't work, I'll... figure something else out.  I... don't follow orders to my miserable pain if there remains viable options.  I can be clever, and still follow general guidelines.  Unless those prove false somehow.  So... add fluid, go lighter on the wound bed mats.  Check.

I then drove to see if a shop was open.  Not.  So I went to pick up sour cream, in order to make a cream cheese.  And for other reasons, things.  My friend offered instructions.  I had thought that was to the shop, but no.  It was a shortcut to the dairy.  At first I... couldn't understand.  Then I did.  Nice.  Now I know.

So tired.  I may attempt a nap.  It is up to 88 outside, but 74 up in this front room, 72 in the main, and 70 in the kitchen.  Upstairs?  Probably warmer.  Oh, but a steak first.  I will on eat half, but that will be very good.  Another fatted coffee.  And, then, a nap?  I will text my friend, let him know a few things, and thank him for the directions... if I hadn't understood them... until I did.

Have a good day.

Work helps.

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Not all that much work, to be honest.  Still, pushing past my desire to rest, to help in small ways, with the plumbing, and getting to town, moving the old refrigerator out, and such?  It... added up.  How can I tell?  With what I ate, normally blood sugar would have spiked to into the low two hundreds to on into the upper three hundreds.

Fasting blood sugar, this morning, is 115.  Oh, sure.  Up a handful and a half from the 101 of yesterday.  But nowhere near the ceiling it often finds.  A heavy fatted coffee, after the meal, I think helped too.  The work and the extra fats both did their job.  And... a pretty solid carnivore diet for the near week before.

So much for a day off.

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Though I wasn't the only one.  My friend was set for a rare day off.  Or part of one.  He has been working since seven this morning.  It's... 19:33.  And?  He has to drive mosquito abatement now... or... at sunset, for two to four hours.  None of us normies knows how he does it.

The water supply was in.  What remained was the drain.  A part was ordered, couldn't find it locally.  It arrived today.  But, while fitting in the drain, we realized one of the water supply lines was in the way.  Galvanized, so we replaced it with pex.  Had to redo some of the drain line, say ten feet?  Plus, put the line from dishwasher through, and a pee trap, and basically another six to ten feet of piping, with the pee trap, a few 45s and 15s (elbows).

Done.

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I went through things.  Smelling each, tossing some, but mostly it was new food.  So... all good?  Mostly.  I think so.

This refrigerator is bigger than my old one, somehow.  By measurements, external ones, it isn't different.  But inside there is vastly more room.  Three shelves instead of two.  The drawers are much larger.  Even the door shelves are more and far roomier as well, somehow?  It doesn't make sense.

Perhaps they truly engineered the space, rather than just... putting it together without thought?  Being smaller, it really isn't a high end refrigerator.  Though, of the ones I looked at, it is of the better variety.  But they just don't make high end smaller refrigerators, at least not commonly available ones.  

In any case, I am well pleased with this refrigerator.  For now.  Hopefully that continues for a bit.  Maybe until I get out of the house?  Maybe.

Why not in bed?  Would you believe I am too tired?  That... is the facts.  I need to relax, and ease down, before I can get to bed.  I may even take some painpills.  Just, those ribs, the legs, hurt.  A lot.

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Got... lost...  Forgot to post this.  A package arrived.  With, among other things, parts for the old toilet flow valve (or such).  I added the part, it fits.  Works?  That'll... be another day.  I'll pull the new, off-brand, one, before long.  And try this, and the whole (supposed to be name-brand but isn't) one.  See if they work.  If they both work, I'll put the old one, the original, back in... with the new part.

The painpills did help.  I think it was the pain that was keeping me awake.  Mostly just below the surface.  Or I was too tired to consciously be aware of it.  It's still there, but eased a bit, I should be able to get a nap in.

Still?  Very nice.  Trach out, and it was picked up.  Refrigerator in, leveled, and reloaded.  Medicine, both morning and "night" taken (in case I don't wake up soon).  The toilet valve refit, just waiting to test.  A few emails sent.  Hoping for a bit more information back, but got some back.

All very good.  Just so tired, and sore even over the painpills.  A day or two of rest.  Then... back to things.  Good morning, and day.  Now... get off my porch!  Saying that always cheers me up.  Even if I don't care if you squat my porch or not.  Just... not... that kind of squatting.  Bleh.  Later.

Yes, it's in.

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It's been in, and leveled, for a while.  Plugged in, set up as suggested, and running.

I need to get things put back, whatever I am going to put back in it.  Who knows.  But... I best get to it.  It's a nice looking fridge.  Stainless, but that is cheaper than the old options.  I don't get that, but... it's the way of things these days.  I don't mind stainless, I just wouldn't ever have paid a premium for it, or a premium for the old "regular" type.  If all else is the same, I'll take the less expensive "skin".

More coffee.

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Did get it and in a timely fashion.  If, probably, only because I was working in the kitchen.

As well, I did sweep and mop, twice.  Then moved the old refrigerator to a cleaned corner, then mopped a few more times over what had been done, and over the part of the floor the fridge had previously been occupying as a temporary staging area before... cleaning the area it went to.

Coffee, finally.

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I boiled water.  And... more water.  And... more water?  I just... couldn't... remember.  I set the alarm, to let me know when it was ready.  Or should be.  When the alarm went off, two or three different times?  I would hit it then... totally forget... what it was about!  I am weary.

Finally, after two, three, or four times, having to refill the pan because it had nearly boiled off, I... got it.  Coffee then brewed, and the last half of the steak cooked yesterday, warmed and eaten as well.  Bitters, too, this time.  It's just... fat is... getting to me, again.  In part because I had stopped eating for a while.  It's the meat fat that gets to me.  The cream is easy to take in.  If too, difficult to void.  Always... a trick to things.

I checked earlier.  Didn't see a single trash bin out.  Or recycling bin.  I'll check again, shortly.  Looking up and down the street.  Is it slightly overcast out there, or... just... some odd light play as the sun begins to approach greatly distantly.  Difficult to quite know quite yet.  I doubt it?  But this has been a strange year, or a cooler one anyway.

I may set up another coffee.  Hoping it will... help, with things?  Having a terrible time waking up, staying awake, this morning.  I did a lot of work, probably overdid things just a bit.  Happy with it.  More to do yet this morning.  But... there is a cost, and difficulties come with it.  I am merely writing to... plant goals, give them a voice somewhere beside just in my mind, and to WAKE UP!  Or try.

If I haven't responded to things, don't worry.  I've just broken a little bit.  I'll... get to it when I can.  Ugh... would you believe even my hands are cramping?  Lightly, but that... definitely means I have... done some work.  I don't even mind, save that it cripples me up for a bit.  And I want to do more.

Other than emptying the refrigerator, after getting trash (and recycling if that seems the plan) out (if it is the day)?  And sweeping and mopping?  That'll be it for today.  When the refrigerator shows up, and gets placed, I'll probably go on back to bed for... whatever time is needed.  Hopefully just a nap, but it might be a long stretch of sleep.  My body is sore.

Well, time to check for bins out there.  If not out there, I'll empty the fridge.  Move it, sweep, and mop.  Good morning and day.

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Oh... forgot to post.  Saw one trash barrel out, so put mine out.  Pretty full.  After emptying the fridge, could put another bag out, but there is no room for it.  So It'll just have to go out after the bin is emptied.  And, yes, got the refrigerator emptied, and moved.  Now I just need to sweep and mop the area.  I'll... take a break, and get to it by 6:30.

Delivery is sometime this morning, between seven and eleven, or so I have been informed.  Usually they are pretty accurate.  Before anything goes back in, it will get a sniff test.  I don't want old refrigerator smelling things to go back in.  If I am out, I am... just out.  I tossed a lot of things out of an abundance of caution.  May toss more, due to simple odor.  I don't care, I don't want my new fridge to stick like the old one right off the bat.

I was a bit surprised at how light the old refrigerator is, empty.  I could, did, move that myself with absolute ease.  Nice.  I just need a minor break.  Then to it.  Oh... the coffee should be brewed.  This time I remembered the water, but was in the kitchen so heard it begin to boil.  Good thing, though.  As I forget to set an alarm.

Coffee.  More coffee!  Gosh but life is tight right now.  Ugh.  Later.

Awake, and a bit better.

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I was barely getting through yesterday.  Couldn't work, couldn't stand, couldn't think, could barely write.  Don't remember much.  Hope I... did what I was supposed to do?  I did get a shower.  I did clear the tosser stuff from my desk, if there is more to go, if lessor by two thirds?  Or so.  And I did bring the coolers up from the basement, last night, as a nearly final act.

The final act being clearing the drop in freezertop, so as to put the meat in the refrigerator freezer into there.  So that is clear.  And I turned the freezer, in the refrigerator, down.  Boy that thing is cold.  Works well for an old, very old, possibly very very old refrigerator.  But it smells like it's an old refrigerator.

A few quick things.

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First?  I am toast.  Today.  Nothing else will be done.  Am barely awake.  I wouldn't even say I am awake.  I'm just not asleep.  Mostly.  Only awake because I... was waiting on something.  Something I don't think will be showing up.  Okay.  Texted a quick query.  Will... know soon enough.  Then on to bed.  Or more fully on to bed.

It's 80, here in this front room.  And I am freezing.  I took a shower, which often heats me up?  I have had two fatted coffees.  Plus I had half a steak.  Frigid, I am.  Crazy, but okay?  Okay.  Blood sugar is 111.  I wondered if it had dropped much lower, to like 70, or 80.  Sometimes that makes me feel cold.  But, nope.  Nice read, but nothing too special.

A bit.

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Coffee down, and morning medicines.  Still rather tired.  Did clear the desktop, a bit.  More to go, but I got... most of the trash where it goes.  What remains, mostly, is... clutter.  Clutter material I want or need to manage rather than just throw out.  Then a shower was taken.

A half an hour to noon.  So, I've been up over four hours.  But getting going even on what little I have done has been... difficult.  It has taken every ounce of focus I could gather to push through to this point.  Really thinking about a nap.  Save I really don't want to nap!  Trying to limp through to early evening.

Up far earlier than expected.

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I had hoped to get to bed by, say, 20:00, maybe 20:30.  It wasn't until between 22:30 and 23:00 when I went in and down.  But down hard and fast.  No shower, couldn't.  I was doing good, at that point, to crab-shuffle up the stairs to get to bed.  I looked at the time but just know (believe) it was before 23:00 by a bit.  And 74 degrees?  I think so.

It was 74, up near me, when I woke up.  I slept, and slept, and... slept.  Keep thinking the alarm should go off and disturb my sleep Zen.  But, no.  It didn't.  Had I set it?  I think I checked, and rechecked.  Both were set.  But I don't remember being able to see the time.  I was... tired.  Confused a bit.  A good run of work, lately.