Two thirty, three.

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Three thirty going on four.  Awake.  I turned off the ac up there, changed which fan is going, opened the windows.  Didn't look at the temps, but in the low 70s.  Covered a few things up, pulled a few things out.  May do a bit more of that down here.  Set water to boil, set up coffee for when that goes.  Will have medicine shortly.

It is 62 outdoors, the low 70s front and main down here.  Good.  I have the place open, and airing out.  I won't feed Sassy until later.  Too early.

Difficult, but good?

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It cooled off.  At 20:30 it was down to 76.  Here at 21:26, I thought I'd check again... only down to 75.  It is 80, here in this front room.  Cooler in the main, probably much cooler upstairs.  It's good.

I got medicine in, vitamins, minerals, and the antibiotic.  I'm doing well at keeping medicine in, in spite of getting beat up with this and that work, task, offer or proposal to wade through, and business elsewise.  So many things are hitting at once.  And, yet, I have to keep up.

Nice.

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Not today, but soon?  Insurance, should be tended.  An offer on the house.  Ideas, things, goings, doings.  Nothing too absolutely fast.  Nothing too slow.  This, that, the other thing.

Exhausted.  But having a second fatted coffee.  No food.  I just... don't want to eat.  Can't eat?  Something.  Maybe tomorrow.  Maybe not.

This and that.

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Someone will be looking soon, to place a bid.  Not looking like the numbers I want, but... with just a bit of a boost, maybe?  If some things stayed, I'd want more.  If it is a key drop?  Cool, but I'll need time to sell some things.  I won't give a steal deal, and have to short time it, plus leave all assets.  No.  One, maybe.  The other, okay.  Not both.  You don't get freebies going both ways.

The idea of getting out, near the angle I want, with some loses and some benefits, at near the price?  Not optimal, but...  Could find a place to rent.  Do want to get the eye surgeries, if going overseas.  And, need to get paperwork squared, visa obtained, and some government paperwork set up.  Would take a year.  Still doubt if I we will get even close.  But... you never know.  There is some small hope.

On the good side?

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We'll see.  But, it... looks like the offer went through, for a better insurance package.  It can be postdated?  Or such.  Just emailed acceptance, back.  Let her know how I would like to pay.  As well, asked how she would prefer to proceed... via email, text, call.  Now I just get to wait.

No guarantee.  Insurance companies can, do, change their minds.  But, I'll run with it for as long as I can.  Can get a discount, for full year pay.  And, usually, I could do that.  But between a new fridge, dish washing machine, the repairs to the house already done, paid, part paid, and some other things?  Not this year.  But... next year, probably yes.  Unless some other huge squeeze arrives.  As a fact, I'll save extra so that it won't be a squeeze itself?  Isn't... that always the plan?

A tough morning.

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The night wasn't all that easy either.  Down by 22:30?  Or so.  Awake by 00:30.  Down again, finally, at four.  The alarm started going off at six.  A few snoozes, then I shut it off, with the second alarm at seven.  I woke up a bit before seven, got down to feed Sassy, set up coffee, brush my teeth, and hoped for a shower.

Just... there wasn't time to get a shower in.  I had an appointment at 08:15, then needed to visit the phone store, get that reset.

--------

Troubles.

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Nothing back from the hoped insurance.  The previous insurer called back.  Said one company might take it, for $3700, just for the house.  Which is well over double, or more.  Of course, he did say they would probably just put so many demands on the property, that they would essentially be turning me down.

I told him that they are trying to force me out of my home.  They will end up making me homeless.  Which is their intention.  Between controlling who can be insured, who will buy any property and for how much (or little), and controlling the financials as to who can buy and sell, they are shoving the poor out of our homes, to then steal them.

Rough!

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I had to get in, to the bank, to the cellphone shop.  I had hoped to do a few other things, but it's just not possible.

The phone was not being paid, and should have been.  Bank said the card was good.  But the phone company said I was using a different card?  That card gets busy, at the first of the month.  So, no.  It wasn't that one.  But it was?  I don't know how or why.  I may have used that card at one time, a long time ago.  But it shouldn't be the one on record... specifically because it gets busy at the first of the month.

-------

An odd night.

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It was just too cold!  I had to turn the ac off, and open the windows.  Then it got really warm.  Not all that much difference between 73 and 77, but it... was difficult.  Why was 73 so frigid seeming to the senses, and 77 so hot?  Whatever, I finally got used to it being warm, then slept well.  But 73 was just too cold.  My legs ached from the cold?  Very strange.

Still, I was able to wake, get everything off and the windows open, then get back to bed in very quick, short, order.  Plus let Sassy know the ac was off.  She can handle a fan, but not the ac.  She didn't arrive immediately, but I woke to her sneaking in later.  I can hear her, even with the fan blasting me.

Good, I suspect.

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It was already up to 88 by 09:30, right?  I think so.  And, here it is, 17:32, and... it's at 87/88 yet.  I have checked several times.  If it was warmer, I didn't see it.  Though, always slightly possible that it went up and came back down, if highly unlikely.  It is 80 in this front room, with the fan going.  At about 73 in the main area, living room, and kitchen?

The ac is going in the main downstairs area, and upstairs.  Probably in the 70 to 73 range upstairs.  I like to have it cooler when it stays warm most of the day.  Even the 80 temp up front, with the fan and ac's going, seems cool?  Pleasant enough.  More so when I can cool off in the other places, should I need a little time off.  It's only when it is 80 everywhere, or more, that it will get to me.  I need a cooling spot, even if just for moments.

Up at 9:30, or so.

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It was already 78 outdoors.  If clouds are billowing, growing, moving.  No storming yet.  Maybe it will just pass through.  But very warm for this early, and that stormlike out there.  I was sort of put off by the heat at this early of an hour, with the look of rain.  No smell of it, but sometimes rain sneaks up on us.

The upstairs had cooled, 73 near me, 70 in the main.  It is 73 downstairs, in the main, if 75 or 76 when I woke.  Up a degree, so far, up front.

Awake far too early.

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It was a couple of things which disturbed me.  The leg wound was howling, hurting, angry.  I have let it go for a week, without bothering it.  In spite of showing through, bleeding fairly obviously.  As well, it seems warm?  The temp only read 74 up there, near me.  And only 70 in the main, with the ac and a fan running.  Which is pretty normal.  Not the coolest, but definitely not the warmest.

It must be the humidity?  Hmm, down here it is only reading 44%.  Which, given that it seems to be in some form of inversion or weather system moved in, on top of a sense of the monsoon beginning to show?  Really, that isn't particularly high either.  It sort of has the feel, in the air?  Sort of, but it isn't reading as humid, or particularly humid?  It hasn't been the driest of summers.  Nor the wettest, by readings.  The rain from a few days ago, week ago, is gone.  What is here is from whatever weather front moved in, or... whatever that is.

Ah, something else.

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A shower.  Needed.  Teeth tended.  Haven't been keeping up on these things.  Well, not quite as well as I should.  Clean, tended, for now.

Then to town.  A stop at the bank.  A bit of cash.  Then on to the store.  I wanted to see what steak was available.  Thick cut sirloin, and a smaller ribeye roast.  Not tiny, just not the biggest.  Of course I had to cut that, but okay.

Not bad.

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I did get the side roof as done as I could do.  Then moved the ladder to the front roof.  I did take a rather long break.  And it was warm out there, 88.  I think it had warmed a bit more, but haze, high level fog, smog, or something moved in and cooled it just a bit.  Even so, that was pretty warm.

I was able to get the ladder moved, and up on the roof.  the front roof isn't, wasn't, too bad.  I cleared it off, a bit.  About as well as I can do it without a blower or the compressor.  I didn't think I was up to getting the compressor out and set up.  I did call around about the leaf blower.  It is located.  Monday, I am told.  Okay.

A couple of tricks.

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I recently received an email, about a subscription I didn't want.  On my phone.  Maybe I did buy in, at once.  Maybe I didn't?  I couldn't, last time this happened, figure out how to unsubscribe in time.  But, when the company emailed to let me know the payment had cleared, I asked them to scrub that, and stop the sub.

To their good, they did so without any real fuss.  I explained I am old, ill, and not a tech nerd.  Couldn't sort out how to cut it.  I had even changed my card, having my bank cancel the old one.  Didn't matter, they somehow used it anyway?  No.  I... really didn't like that.  I told my bank I lost the card, so they sent a new one.  And somehow they were still able to charge it.

This, that, and the other thing.

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An email, from my original insurer.  He... has a possible quote, but only if everything is done, plus he wanted pictures.  I had already told him not everything was, or even could be, done.  He... didn't read my email, at all, it seems.  Or, that wasn't important?  As well, I don't do pictures.

I didn't burn the bridge, to the best of my ability.  But I let him know, again, that everything wasn't done.  And that I don't do pictures.  But that I have a quote from two other companies.  I let him know what those were, or roughly.  Given that insurance often falls through on a whim, or something missed, or etc.  To give him something to compare.

A good night.

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Down at around 21:00.  After to as much as half after?  Or so.  I did wake a time or two?  If one after a dream, on just as I was waking at the end, so a really good sleep.  I'm not even sure I wake up in the middle, more like just a bump, while falling asleep?

I had to turn the ac on, being as warm as it was yesterday again.  And having had the ac's and fans, mostly, off save one upstairs and the ceiling fan going.  It had gotten into the mid 80s up there, 83 in the main.  With the ac running, and a fan up there, even in that heat I was able to get on to sleep fairly well, while it slowly cooled.  Neither heat nor cold ended up being an issue, once I tucked in, if I think I kicked out and tucked back in from time to time.  Easy though, wasn't so tired it was a fight either way.

I should have changed my wound dressing yesterday.  I'll get to it today.  Hoping to get a shower in before long?  Though I'd like to see if I can move the ladder into place, maybe get up on it, and onto the roof.  I have three to work on.  All fairly flat, if getting from the ladder to the roof is a bit of a trick.  It isn't a lot of work, the clearing.  It is just getting the ladder moved, and then getting from it to the roof.  Old.  Ill.  I will see.

Still 80 in the front room.

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Getting late, or later.  It is 77 outdoors, 80 up front here, 74 in the main, hopefully cooler upstairs.  Can smell smoke, outdoors.  Someone burning something out there?  Hopefully with care.  It's a dangerous time to be lighting fires, I have to say that.

Nothing but water, since testing early.  If I suspect blood sugar would still, somehow, be up.  So I'm not going to bother testing.  I'll do that in the morning, as well as weighing in again, before eating or drinking.

Maybe?

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One quote.  Seems solid.  But, when the tires are kicked, will it hold?  I don't know.  However, even if that doesn't, there is another option.  It isn't as inexpensive.  It would be the home on one plan, the vehicles on another.  So, if all else falls through, then maybe.

I tried to call back, but I had two other calls, to dig through first.  Wasn't sure... which was who.  I had some number of things to check.  I'll call tomorrow.  But good.  I have a name and a number.  And... another name and number if that doesn't work, or fails, falls through.

Maybe?

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One strike.  One maybe?  A quote is being formulated.  The other company was a flat no.  One other company called, of the three (other) companies who offer insurance in my area.  I won't know if they will offer a quote, either, until they contact me back.  Including auto, motorcycle, and home.  Not that that makes any real difference.  I supposed if you had a farm, home, half dozen vehicles, side business or two, that would give them more interest?  Or... do they even care, anymore?

My original company wants me to know they are still working on it.  But they... gave me a few weeks heads up, then didn't offer the insurance back, even when I took care of (most of) the problems?  They don't have... any vacations to sell.  At this point, it's goes to the best bid for the value.  Especially since they don't have... anything right out of the blocks.  If they had chop-chopped, I wouldn't have bothered.  Now that I am sweating it, all bets are off.  Don't freak out paranoid old farts, with losing their home, or paying huge fines, or such.  Don't.

I tried one of the petite sirloins.  Bleh.  First, overcooked a bit.  Might try a new one.  But, even rare, I think this is going to be... pretty horrible?  I'll... try again.  Between calls, and such, though, it is difficult to keep up on the cooking.  Ugh!

Ah, received a call from the homeopathic clinic.  They don't do toxin screening.  But, after looking closer?  They seemed to be chiropractic?  That... isn't what I was hoping.  I was hoping an actual doctor, doing specialized practice.  Custom stuff.  But no.  I... don't do chiropractic.

Now just waiting for any possible of two various sources of quotes, and another yeah or nay on a company for a third set of possible quotes.  Bleh.  Always something.

The roof needs work, not sure I can do it quite yet today.  I have to Monday to do it myself, at least?  Tomorrow, maybe?  If I can.  A bit rough, but slightly better, today.  May have to get the outbuilding painted.  But can't afford it this month.  Not sure I could paint it, myself.  That's... just... pushing things probably beyond my ability.  It's just one side of it.  The rest is good, solid.  And, yes, they said it is required.  And, any other insurer may require it too.  So... okay.

Lots of flops, and flips, currently.  But... okay.  Will just keep on, and at, it... as possible.  Later.

Looks like no insurance.

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It had seemed as if the company I had been using would be able to reset.  But that became not the case.  Then, they seemed to be willing to see if some of their other companies would insure.  But, that too, seems not to be the case.  I doubt if I am the only one running into this problem.  But, it is what it is.

Trying to find other carriers, at other companies, at this point.  Though, honestly, not sure where to even start.  They have been my insurance company, for auto and home, for... fourteen years.  Not any more.

We'll see.  This could go really bad, really quickly.  As in, losing the house.  If I suspect that is the point.

Up at 05:30.

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Not even sure when I went to bed.  Probably after 17:00.  Just as likely after 18:00?  Did I make it to 20:00?  I just can't remember.  It was pretty warm up there, perhaps 82?  It is 77, near me, this morning, but only 73 in the main.  That doesn't make sense.  Two fans going, no ac's in the house... for days, a week now?  

It is 71 up front here, 72 in the main room and kitchen.  And it was 54 outside, when I woke up.  Not exactly cold, but as I suggested, in Charleston, South Carolina?  They would put their parkas, was it, on when it hit 51.  It's been that cool some mornings.  Though, not through the day.  I think it snowed once, while I was there?  It was dangerous to drive in the rain, there.  The snow was outright suicide to drive in.  Southerners do NOT do snow well.  As a fact, it seems they... try to drive the opposite of how they should, in spite of having so little snow that it couldn't possibly impact driving!?!  It was crazy there.

Imagine driving when there is snow, and doing the exact opposite of how you should.  Now?  Imagine there isn't any snow on the ground?  More accidents than I could count.  They simply couldn't deal with white stuff on the ground.

Anyway.  I just have to laugh every time I remember being there.  Mice... and elephants.  By the way?  Elephants really are afraid of mice.  As are most women.  Life is good with such things to understand.  If my mother wasn't so old, I'd send her a fake snake too, wrapped as a gift.  I miss when we were younger.

Today?  I don't know.  Still a bit tired.  But I think I am feeling a bit better?  Friday, right?  I have left the bandage on for a week.  Will be changing it today.  Will have to change it in half a week, for that is when the next appointment is.  But, after this, the goal is to leave it alone for a week at a time.  See if that helps it heal better.

The honey will be used this time.  I doubt if they will continue with the honey.  That is usually only a two week thing.  Though, who knows.  Being on antibiotics might help?  Can't be sure.  But it doesn't hurt as much, around the wound, from what I can roughly tell?

Blood sugar is 175 fasting, which just doesn't make sense.  Steak, fatted coffee (and very light on the fats), and water is all I have had in the last five days?  Plus a day or two of fasting thrown in, on top of intermittent fasting on the days I do eat.  Bah.  But, weight is down to 230.2, which is down four point four pounds?  And, down ten pounds or more from the time before that.  So I am definitely losing some weight again, and I feel like it is showing is size loss more than even weight loss?

Seems?  Feels?  Looks?  These are tricky.  Never exactly certain any of that makes sense, or follows through.  But... I think so.

A serious relief?

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Something didn't sit well, with a recent hospital visit.  The nurse was... acting odd.  Have you ever felt... judged?  Given the ol' stink-eye?  I didn't think too much about it.  Who knows what it was about.  But, yes, it was there.  I just... couldn't place what it was about.

They put in a intravenous connector.  They always do in ER.  This time, though, they used it.  First to add fluids, electrolytes, and such.  They didn't tell me why, but in speaking with others, they do that if bp is low?  Okay.  Which is fine.  Then, later, I was told they wanted to give me a liquid form of the antibiotic they were going to put me on.

Hmm?

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No, I didn't make it back to bed.  Here it is, 09:15.  Here I sit.  A bit chilled.  With the front door closed, no fans going save the ceiling fan and maybe a fan upstairs, it is just to 72 in this front room.  Very cool.  Peculiarly cool for this time of year.  If... some of my new and old tricks, combined, have changed the whole system here in my home.  Humidity is ready 45, which is a bit higher, given no rain in a few days.

Blood sugar was 196 a bit ago.  I tested it because I was feeling a bit weak?  Dizzy?  Not... terribly so, but just... the edge of something.  I assumed blood sugar had taken a downward spike.  Not so much.  Our of frustration, I had a fatted coffee.  A much lighter one, just a quarter cup of cream.  I have no idea why blood sugar is staying elevated, unless the antibiotics, or infection, have that affect.  Though, as mentioned, I have some suspicions.  Need to check a few things.

Finally back to bed?

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Just hitting 02:25.  Cooling, down to 75 in this front room.  Open, with a fan going, but no ac used through the day, upstairs or down.  A first in a few weeks?  Or so.  Probably closer to a month or two.  Even when I would use the ac, this room wouldn't often be this cool by this time.  It really is feeling more like fall.

No more food, tonight.  Just not hungry.  Nothing to drink.  Tea, tomorrow.  Maybe the rest of the steak.  Or not.  If I have yogurt, or cottage cheese, it will be without fruit or sweetener.  Or tea or coffee.  Though would like to go with non-caffeinated tea, again, if I go that way.

A difficult time.

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Certainly not the worst I have had.  Waking at 21:30?  Give or take an quarter hour.  It was a pretty warm sleep.  Hot, really.  It was up to 79 up near me, 77 in the main.  Which really isn't hot.  So I had to think about it.  Ah.  I have a mild fever.  The infection sort of kicked in.  Wondered why I have been so weak, on top of other things.  Including feeling warm.  Fevers do that, hollow me out a bit, weaken me a lot.

Most of the simpler symptoms of the infection are mainly improving.  Going to the bathroom still takes a bit of effort.  But it doesn't hurt, burn, or else.  And, while I was told what hurt, on my back, wasn't my kidneys?  Whatever that was, it has improved.  Though, perhaps that is due to the new chair?

Steak and tech.

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I keep trying earbuds for the phone, and other things.  I just don't seem to have much luck getting them to work.  I'd love to put some music on my phone.  Though that just hasn't worked well, to date either.  I finally ordered a more expensive, but not nosebleed pricy, earbuds.

I have hooked them up before, other brands.  But always had trouble keeping them connected, while talking.  Never did get music to work.  Not sure how best to do that.  Phones have systems for it, but not... good systems.  And I honestly don't trust most apps.  They just steal data, open your phone to hacking, phishing, and else.

I haven't figured the things out completely.  And I am deciding if they buds even fit.  The mediums seem a bit big, the smalls far too small.  I may have to just return them.  Before ever even getting to try them out.  They were on a reasonable sale, but the next tier up is... double.  Not sure I want to spend that much on things that aren't seriously waterproof, have tracking methods, and such.  It's possible, would have to look them over.  Not into apple, so it would probably samsung.  I looked at various of the beats before buying.  If I had realized they had the idiot spot man I wouldn't have bought them.  But, sold to a different company, it is what it is, now.

Though, do any of these companies think when hiring names?  Not well.

While doing that I got the last of the new york strips cooked.  Had to change the propane tank.  Not bad, really.  This time, this one lasted me two to three months, if I haven't been using it all that often.  Had used it a while before the cold made cooking out there impossible.  It wasn't the cold, for me.  It was tank pressure issues.

The steak was very good.  Keeping it mostly rare is wonderful.  New york strips have, sometimes, a bit of gristle in there, or hard fat caps, or such.  But I don't even mind that.  I had thought to try to get through the whole thing, but I just can't eat that much.  Which does make it complicated, trying to get more fat and protein in.  Will try ribeye this coming month.  And try to eat more, drinking less.

Just non-caffeinated herbal tea today, other than water, electrolytes, vitamins, minerals, and antibiotics.  All in now.  I'll probably try to go without caffeine for another day or two.  So, also, without cream.  No fruit.  Just meat, water, some salt, electrolytes.  And, if I can do that, consider an honest several day fast, if without medicine (save antibiotics, minerals, electrolytes, and vitamins).  Just heart medicine reduction.  For longer fasts, it's best to put those aside.  Don't need them, unless water begins causing bloat.

Blood sugar is still staying in the 180s.  Gah!

On to bed, I think.  I hurt.  The infection, and antibiotics, is sort of beating me up.  I did make it to early afternoon.  That is good.  Meant to make a call or two, but no.  Sounds like the window will arrive by the 6th.  All good.  But, for me, the day is done.  Goodnight.

Not a walk this morning.

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It is a goal, to begin.  Possibly even in the winter, on bright mornings?  Maybe.  But, certainly, going forward, on brighter days through the rest of summer and fall.  Depending, too, if there is room on the side of the road, not too much snow or ice, and such.

Today is still a bit dark.  The sun is trying to come out, but isn't making it all that well.  Inversion?  High level fog/smog?  clouds up there?  It's odd.  Has been this way for a while.  Further, my foot really hurts.  I can limp around, but not walk well.  As well, I am tired.  I may just get the tea in, herbal, unsweetened.  Get medicine in with that.  Then go on back to bed.

Up at around four?

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Something like that.  It is just hitting 05:10.  Sassy was fed.  She slept with me some of the night?  Actually, all of the night.  But slept over beside my bedroll rather than in it, with me.  Which is fine.  I gave her some attention through the night.  Ears, her neck, and the top of her head are her favorites.  I just itch, make the motion, she arranges herself to be itched where she prefers.

It was 75 up there, near me, 72 in the main, 72 to 70 down here, and 52 outside.  Sort of a strange thing.  No ac's were running.  The ceiling fan downstairs, and a fan upstairs, everything else mostly open.  Pleasant.  Neither too hot nor too cool, didn't need to tuck into the blankets, but enjoyed being lightly wrapped in one of them?

Nothing fancy.

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I would like to have had dinner.  I can't cook?  More I couldn't eat.  I want food, I just can't eat, consume, digest it.  Not even a fatted coffee.  Just... nothing.  If I were able to digest something, I'd have cottage cheese.  Not tonight.  Or a custard, or carnivore cheese cake.  Again, not tonight.  tomorrow?  Maybe.

Still tired.  Had hoped to wake up.  It's not happening.  The weather feels as if we are already into September, or even October.  Some Octobers can be rather warm.  Not all of them.  But, this wouldn't even feel like a particularly warm October either.  Just... more average.  For now.  Who knows, maybe it will warm back up.  I expect it to warm.  All but certain it will.  But, once it begins bobbing down into the 70's for the day, the warming bounces just don't usually get too much higher, or for long.  Fall is here, or just so close it almost doesn't matter?

Up, for hours now.

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Down to 70, outdoors, last I looked.  77 to 75 indoors, with no fans or ac's running.  Well, the ceiling fan in the living room.  I slept very well, though strangely cold.  I sleep more warm seeming when it is closer to 70.  In the mid to upper 70s my legs just feel like they are freezing!  I used the same number of blankets, bundle the same.  It just doesn't make sense.

I called the store, to see how late the pharmacy is open.  I had plenty of time, but needed a shower, to dress, and get there.  It was an incredibly push to do those things.  Probably making it with an half hour, if starting out with more like two hours, almost three, before they closed.  I just... getting going was difficult.

Cool, boys and girls.

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I'd even say cold.  It is 70 to 71, inside and out, everywhere hereabouts.  That... is cold.  Cloudy?  Definitely hazy, but at higher elevations up.  Not like ground fog.  If mostly along the Wasatch front, not so much overhead or to the west.  A very strange, chilling, atmospheric or weather condition.  It doesn't have the feel of an inversion, but maybe?  I've not quite gotten to where I quite understand those yet.

The leftover steak, a fatted coffee (if using a lot less cream), water, electrolytes, and morning medicine in, down.  Thinking a nap would be good.  So cold.  A few hours down would be nice.  I won't even close up the upstairs, and turn on the ac.  Just leave it open, if keep a fan going up there.

Up at 2:30.

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Give or take.  It was really cool up there, 66 in the main, 70 near me.  Strangely, I slept extremely well.  When it is in the upper 70s, I seem too cold.  At 70, I tuck in, like a bug in a rug, and sleep so warm!  Almost hot.  Very strange.  It all works, either way, honestly.  I could, possibly, begin cutting using the ac, even putting it on a timer.  Just run it long enough to take the edge off as I go to sleep.

I didn't run the ac downstairs yesterday.  Only running the overhead fan and the fan out front here, mostly?  Might have turned the fan on in the living room for a bit, but decided pretty quickly that that wasn't needed.

It's been sort of rough?

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.

Nothing hurts.  While the antibiotics I am taking aren't as effective against the now known infection, it is slightly easing that.  I had hoped to get in today, but that just can't happen.  I did call, for a price check.  It will be roughly $15.  After taxes?  Any other costs?  I... should be able to do that.

It is 77 up here, cooler to much cooler everywhere else.  I haven't turned the ac on down here.  But did turn it on upstairs, as well as close that up, when I saw that it was in the upper 80s earlier.  Not even going to check on that.  Just too tired.  Yogurt and fruit.  I know, I just can't seem to get sweet or carbs generally, out of my system.

On into midmorning.

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I really didn't think I wanted to eat.  Cook.  Or even have coffee to be honest.  I was probably correct about not having coffee.  I may quit that for a few days.  I was worried the steak would be bad.  If it wasn't actually bad, that it would taste bad.  I was wrong.  I didn't eat the whole thing, just half.  But that was very good.

A new york strip.  Sometimes the fat on those is skanky.  Lately they haven't been.  But, too, I am buying, and eating, far fresher, far faster.  It was a wonderful meal.  A few chewy parts, but I can easily live with that.  I like some chew, in some of my meat, from time to time.

Up since twenty after midnight.

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Awake almost five hours.  A pleasant bit of being awake.

The internet cut out.  I was trying to comment something really politically incorrect.  I often will get my comment buried.  This time it was worse.  Initially that happened.  Then I tried to repost (learned the trick to copy, so I can just paste it back and go).  Nope.  The blog I was viewing became unavailable.  So I went to other blogs, in order to... reset, restore.  A few attempts to get back, and... the internet was cut.

Almost forgot.

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When one goes to an ER, not at the VA, even if sent through the VA, you have to call in within 72 hours, or so?  I was sent the number, but forgot to call.  I was going to do it last night, but crashed.  Then I meant to call first thing.  But it slipped.  Oh, that... could have been pricey.  So I got to it, hoping it was timely enough.

So tired, though.  Still awake, mostly trying to push through to remember to call.  Finally pulled the number down, then called.  Not too late.

Another mouse.

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Keeping the traps up, and baited.  Checking them from time to time.  Good think I keep checking.  Easy for one to be missed for a bit.  Surprising, mice can leave a major stink, that creeps out slowly.  But, once in place, it's rather potent.

Here at 10:35, it is still not yet 70 out there.  Very strange.  It is between hazy and cloudy to the east.  Surprised the sun didn't burn through it yet.  Feels like fall already and it isn't even August.  A slightly unusual weather system.  Usually mid to later August thing, or even September or October.

Still so tired.

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Up for two and a half, three, hours?  Though to be fair, it is still quite cool.  It is still right at 51 out there, 68 up front here.  A jacket might help.  A wonderful morning though, really.

Yes, a jacket.  I had coffee left over from last night.  Consumed that, but cold.  Water heating for a hot one this morning.  Hungry?  Yes, but I don't want to cook.

Awake plenty early.

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Was it... a quarter after four?  I think so.  Fresh water for Sassy, then food.  Fresh water for me.  I'll get medicine in as well.  That stuff seems to be helping.  It's cool indoors, and out, in the low 70s' everywhere, I think 71 was the highest reading.  Outdoor is down to 51, which was "parka" weather, in Charleston, S.C., as I remember it.  I still laugh at those folk, but that... is their winter.  It is, or was, shorts weather for an Iowan.  Though Utahns seems to think 30 F can be shorts weather.  If... not always as comfortably as they always suggest.  :p  Teens.  Bah!  Laughing with, and at.  Been there done that, or close enough.

Blood sugar is 241.  And for food that had a back-taste of vomit, rotten meat.  Never again.  Wow.  They are absolutely dropping quality.  Selling very old meat, if it even is meat?  Wow.  And charging bank for it.  Those workers have to know what they are putting out.  Perhaps they don't care, for the wages and "benefits" of "free food"?  Terrifying.  Lovecraftian dining?  I think so.

Got it all done.

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Medicine, steaks, coffee, water, and cream.  All but the cream in one place.  Two different payment methods.  Three actually, two on me from the present, one on me in the past.

Coffee ground, set up, and brewing.  Everything in and put up.  Medicine about to be taken, with the rest of the regular night things.

Mostly good.

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Medicines are available, from the store I need to visit anyway.  And, they carry my coffee.  The downside is it is a bit pricey.  No real choice.  Medicine has already been started.  Gotta keep it up.  They give me what of a break they can.  It's as good as it gets.  I have price shopped several times before.  It's all the same, or so close as to not be an influence.  Where, and when, being the bigger issues compared to pennies, or maybe a few dimes difference.

So tired though.  I almost wish I had told them all I'd be in later.  Rather tomorrow.  Two days out in a row is rough.  Even being out later doesn't help all that much.  Sure hoping I can just... get going, get back, take medicine, crash for a bit.  Get medicine later, and then sleep before too late again.

Steak.

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A type I have not tried before.  Petite sirloin?  Petite top sirloin?  Oh, just petite sirloin.  I did look it up.  Took a while to get to the bottom of the top of the petite.  Just petite.  The price looked good, and I really did end up liking the standard sirloin.  This?  By the cut, and look, and such, it should be good enough.

With the price right, and the cut looking good, I had to see if they could custom cut the things.  Thick cut, for such a small filet to work with?  Maybe.  So I called it in.  Spoke with the butcher.  Told him my wants  "We can try".  So, yeah.  I ordered a good little bunch of them, in the right size, one per package (or they will try to put them just about all in one package!  Ugh).

Up, for a while.

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I had to change my leg wound binding.  Had hoped to let it go a while, but was absolutely bloody.  I keep bumping it.  Well, and Sassy headbutts the area every time she gets hungry.  Though, really, she is just making it worse.  Not sure why, sometimes, some weeks, I just hit it hard, over and over, and don't seem to be able to guard it, consciously or unconsciously, the exact opposite for whatever reason.  And, when I do that, Sassy piles on, every time.  The scent, or feel of it, or my reaction?

More honey.  On the good side, that honey medicine is doing a wonderful job.  And I was as careful as possible to in getting the honey just in the wound bed.  You... need to do this correctly.  And, this time, I am going to try to shield the leg, so as to not cause excessive bleeding, and then leave the bandaging in place for a full week.  I had planned to that this time, but the bleeding was nearly leaking out of the airtight silicon dressing.  And, that WITH a sponge in there.  It was absolutely goobered up.

On to bed, finally.

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Up late enough to feed Sassy again.  And, whatever else the medicine did, it also started helping me go.  Fluids weren't a problem.  Though, was it the antibiotics, or the extra meals today?  Whatever the case, I have... had some reasonable release.  Might have to try to eat more of my calories, in meat rather than fatted coffee.  I've... lost some weight.

My weight was down to 234.5 today.  After if figured out how to get water flowing again.  A few extra waterpills the last few days, and extra fluid in.  It usually takes both.  Both it was.  I am sure tomorrow I will be down much further, anywhere from two to even six pounds down is possible.  Blood sugar will be up, from what I ate, a lot.  Oh well.  No choice, either end.

Oh? Nearing bedtime.

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I am staying up a bit longer for several reasons.  First, in an attempt to sort day and night a bit more solidly.  Or give that a shot.  As well, to feed Sassy another meal before going on to bed.

I checked outdoors around 19:00 to 19:30, and it was 70.  Here at 22:18 it is just down to 68.  The ac's are going.  Not sure how warm it got today, but it must have been rather warm, as the main area is 75, this front room is 77, and upstairs is 75 and 77?  I thought that is what I read going up a bit earlier?  Perhaps I didn't close a window, or one was opened by someone hearing me return home?  Yea, possibly still having break-ins.  Just a few... signs.  Traps possibly opened.  Though, over time, Sassy might do things.  Or very dubiously, I might undo a trap while doing something else nearby, but I don't think so.

Oh my word.

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A gooder, if long, day.  It was brutal to even get a shower, so getting out took even longer.  I didn't get out until 13:00, 13:30?  Did some business, quickly, and got in by 14:30?  Give or take.

They were busy at the ER.  But, given that, they were fairly on top of things.  I just got home, here at 19:28, but that was just as much to do with my bladder not wanting to top off.  They gave me a quart of electrolyte water, intravenous.  Which helped.  But even that took a while.  To be honest, I gave it a shot, not thinking it would work, just in case.  Dropped enough to fill the thing five times, besides the fill, at least.  When it rains, duck?

Hoping.

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Having a rough time getting going.  I thought coffee and food would help.  It really didn't.  I mean, it was good.  Just not... good enough.  Still, I will head to things now.

First a shower.  Then to get dressed.  It's up to at least 74 our there, if that was an half hour to hour ago.  The ac is off upstairs, will have to turn that back on.  It had gotten to 76 when I woke?  So is probably a good deal warmer up there.  I don't want to try to go to bed in the 80s, or especially the 90s up there.  No!

Amazed at how fake everything is.

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Oh, sure, I see it.  It hasn't been a secret, for a long time.  However, quite often, there was some truth to some things.  Places, people, ideas, which were still clear.  Now?

There are a few places which do some diligence.  I make the effort, if I keep out of the mainstream, purposefully.  And I have limits.

Up, but for the day?

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It was 76 up there, down near me.  Didn't look at the main room temp.  Warmer though, I have to guess.  Turned off the ac when I went to bed, opened the windows, since it was 59 outdoors.  It is 71/72 up front/in the main this morning.  The ac is also off down here.  The fans and ceiling fan are going.  And it has warmed just a bit, to 61 outdoors.  There is still some moisture on the ground, but not as if a fresh rain landed.  Only what remains from several to many hours after.  Still, always good to see rain.

Must have rained well.  There is a puddle out there, in the front.  Sort of unexpected, that.  Would have thought the world would have swallowed that whole, by now.  Though, it is where vehicles create a minor rut.  So it's not all as it seems.  Even so, a bit surprised.  A good surprise.

I have increased the water pill, back to the official dose.  Just to push the extra that was staying in me out.  It's not due to bp, or else?  Well, maybe.  I haven't been able to tolerate compression hose for a few days... week... weeks now?  Some short to middling span.  And, some resistance to going, from the infection, or whatever is happening in there.

Trying to think back, remember.  But I just don't think I caught my testicles anywhere, bumped them, crushed them, hurt them.  But that sort of pain is passing more fully.  It's different sorts of pain and discomfort.  Itchy in there?  Burns when I pee, usually.  The chord feels swollen, thus the resistance to going.  Some pain, radiating from the groin on up?  A bit of a knot of pain in the lower to mid torso.  Okay, some pain still reminding me of being hit, but much less at this point, on that score.  Well, the kidneys hurting just a bit.  And feeling slightly backed up, plumbing wise.  There.  Just trying to get the whole story down, before going in.

Blood sugar is still rather high.  With just water, since the beans and wienies, its down sixty four points, if still 146 fasting.  I can't believe the chili was so high, but I did have two cans.

Neck has kinks.  But else is okay.  Sassy slept with me, pretty much, the whole night.  She went downstairs a few times.  For business?  Water?  To scout her world?  I'd roll, get comfortable, and she'd be back.  I do enjoy having a sleeping pal.  She gets some itches and petting out of the deal, before I fall asleep.  She tries to poke my arm with her claws if she wants more, sometimes that works, mostly not.  I figure out how to keep her switch-blade claws from being able to tenderize my arm.  Brat!

On to looking around, waking up.  Good morning.  Good day.  Oh, I best check when the bank opens, and when costco opens.  Not necessarily for today, but... would be good to know, before long.

Thunder.

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Caught me off guard.  Such resonating booms.  Not as close as it sometimes is, but close enough to feel it.  I doubted it would rain.  Both a bit early, and just my standard pessimism.  So I didn't bother looking.  However, I had to get up for something else.  Water.

Decided to look.  Hmm, it wasn't water.  It was still 82 up here in front, which is oddly comfortable?  Well, sleep was so cold, so yes.  As I opened up I looked, well.  It's already dark, so I had to turn on the porch light.  Yes, raining, still, and for a while by the looks of things.  Nice, very nice.  So it was definitely cool enough to be worth the bother.

Some things seem better.

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Some things worse.  I was hoping I would wake up and just think, nah.  And nah, but not to going, to not going.  Not tonight, of course.  But, tomorrow, sure.

I finally got to sleep.  And slept well for a while.  Would still be sleeping, but a neighbor who is helping me with a will, called.  A copy!  I can work on that, rework any numbers, be more exacting.  There can be numbers, but percentages are best, with limits and maximums?

No, but I tried.

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I just can't get going.  Tomorrow.  If I am alive.  Probably be up later.  Just not for long.  Sleep is double cyclical, meaning I sleep twice a day, and hope for... a while longer up at some point, to get something done, anything.  Even just sitting for a while.

I've been sitting here, but mostly asleep.  No way could I even drive in, let alone a four hour gig, then a drive home.  Well, and I'd have to shower first.

Oh. Ugh.

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On the good side, they did pass the information on.  I was beginning to feel so terrible.  And had been on the line, waiting, for an half hour, because they were keeping people on the line excessively.  Anyway, so, yes, I got a call back.

Sounding out the symptoms?  It sounds rough.  It might be little to do about little, or it might be a serious infection, possibly of several places.  Never thought about kidney infection, or kidney and bladder?  But why?  Perhaps from the wound?  It... was exhibiting signs of infection.  And, of course, they always want to check the bum.  No, just no to that.

Public unions need to be destroyed.

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I called in to the VA.  I told the woman the problem, after being required to give her far too much personal data for her level of employment.  Then, giving her the information, and asking her to send a note to the nurse working with my doctor.  She wanted me to stay online.  I asked why.  She said to make sure she had it right?  Oh, there's... nothing extra.

She just wanted me to stay online to get more minutes of time, to put in.  She probably gets paid by the minute, or her employer (over)charges, by the minute, of which she gets a pittance.  And, she tried to force me to talk to a nurse.  The nurses they have through the center are more useless than the operators.

Awake yet.

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I wanted to sleep a long time ago.  It just wasn't 'doing'.  Even with ac's running, fans going, and everything set, currently, to optimal cooling, it is still 77 in this front room.  Outdoors is 67, and that only because a storm moved in?  Or... maybe that kept it warmer.  Sometimes it can do that, too.

I have the fan blowing right on me.  It actually makes it feel chill, but not really be cold.  Odd how that works.

Half a steak will do.

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I'll put the other half up shortly.  I did have bitters, as I suspected it would be a bit rich for my current condition.  I think that was a good call.  But, having some meat was really pleasant, needed, wanted.  A fatted coffee with it.  The rest of the day will be just water, perhaps with another dose of electrolyte powder, or just to finish off the first dose.  What of it is left in the jar.

I am still amazed at how sharp that mixer part was.  Cutting so deeply, and two thirds the length of my index finger?  Well, whichever finger is next to the pinky.  And, while my hands are petite, for my size, they are... long enough to palm a basketball.  Mostly.  Aging and lack of practice make that a bit tricky.

Brutal day.

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I was awake until... later in the morning.  Ten, noon, something.  I think?  Was so very tired though.  I was staying up in the hopes of getting to town to do shopping.  That... probably won't happen for days, maybe a week.  Why?  Because I am absolutely burned out.  Like a mouse, after a cat has played with me right up to death.  Things hurt in ways I can't understand.

I did find steaks, good ones and bad, in the drop in.  I tossed some of the bad, will have to toss more.  There is a real limit, especially on thinner steaks.  If you bother with thin steaks, eat them in two months, or just toss them.  They get greasy, are difficult to cook, and get frostbit very quickly.

On back to bed?

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I was looking for the burger.  It was left in the oven.  It doesn't smell, but it's not good.  So I just double bagged it, in grocery bags, tied it up, and tossed it.  Yes, it's not good.  Nothing else really available for dinner or supper, whatever you call it.  Which is fine... I really wasn't hungry anyway?  Hmm, maybe there is something in there, easier to eat.  Or... it just doesn't matter.

The last time I checked, it was only down to 68.  But that's been two hours ago?  It just isn't cooling off all that much.  Humidity is holding it, or was.  Which is fine too.  I just doesn't matter.  I should sleep well.  Oh, but it is up to 70?  Strange.  Humidity?  A front of some sort moving in?

Agony.

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The honey poultice hurt, a lot.  When I got home, and settled a bit, I decided to go on back to bed.  So very tired.  But that burning!  All morning.  I could rest, but not sleep, for the first... four hours?  Or so.

Rolling, flipping, flopping, trying to find a more comfortable position.  None were to be found.  simply resisting the urge to rip the dressing and honey medicinal patch off and out was... all that I could do.

Made it!

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A wound clinic appointment.  This morning.  I wasn't sure I would make it.  Even feeling better, getting a shower, getting dressed, and getting out on time, were all tricks I had to push to complete.

I haven't been tending the wound well.  So it was a bit rough, but not too awful.  The doctor is having me go back to the honey treatment.  It's not my favorite, it stings a bit.  I will do it, I will do it as well as I can.  He did teach me a minor trick, as to getting it to fit in more comfortably.  It will, does, burn a bit.  A price I will pay in order to get this stupid thing healed.

Just barely.

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I beat the alarm.  By five minutes.  I... just... wanted to see how close it was, rolled over and... just in time.  Now, initially I turned of the early time, so as to roll back in and sleep until the next alarm.  Before I even rolled over, I deciding against that.  I had set the alarm clock down and was about to tuck back in, when I just decided to get up.

It must be a better day.  Not that I am feeling a ton better.  I still have odd aches and such.  But, when I am doing better regardless of else, I... like to be out of bed.  As soon as possible.  I don't dream hard these days, or often.  But I used to hate to sleep for that reason.  The instinct remains.

Pretty good.

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It took hours, to get the griddle finished, a second go, then the burger cooked.  It got done.  I just finished a bit of it.  Can't eat much, didn't think I would.  Sure looked like a lot, but lettuce seems to be more eye than stomach.  A good cup and a half of burger, at most.  Some spice and sour cream to finish the thing.  Perfect?  More solid that I have been able to eat, and carnivore(ish) enough to not feel guilt.

I cleaned the griddle after finishing.  So, really, it's ready for more food, before too long, as needed.  I only use a portion of the grill, at any given time.  This time I used more, as I cooked a mess of hamburger into beef crumble.  Still, having been cleaned well, and again, and seasoned, then cleaned after, the two (of four) spaces I used are ready for another meal or three, depending on how well I clean after each.

Maybe.

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I got to the grill.  It needed some attention.  So I heated it, then went out with the duck fat.  Bleh.  Either the duck fat is rancid, or was just too strong?  Whatever the case, I decided not to continue with that.  Butter doesn't work, ghee perhaps, but I haven't made any.  Then I remembered.  Buckets of coconut oil.

But those are really old.  A decade?  Maybe.  Maybe more?  Kept sealed, in the basement.  What, about gallon or two gallon sized?  Something.  Organic, cold pressed, and as mentioned still sealed.  I had no idea how well that would work, but it's what else I had.

Better.

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Just plain better.  No major exemptions.  A bit of soft discomfort, but there... is... always soft discomfort.  Well, or more solid pain.  That is just life.  Failing organs, or the sense of it, is more severe, even for me.  And... mostly rare.  A few times a year, less these last few years.

I am hoping to get burger going on the griddle yet tonight.  Not sure, just hoping.  Then, to spice it, add it to romaine, add some cheddar and sour cream, and call it dinner.  If... the lettuce is still good?  I'll check shortly.  If I can get to it.

That did help.

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Yogurt and fruit.  Not the best, but tolerable, edible, comfortable.

I'll tell you, there for a while there, I thought I was, or might, die.  Didn't want to... put it out like that.  Something was really wrong.  I figured, one of those naps I just wouldn't wake up from.  Wow.  That was a bit harsh.

To eat or not.

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I hate when I get better, start feeling better, but not quite enough better to move on back into normal life things.  Like eating.  I have some want of food.  But my body isn't quite able to eat, digest, food.  Or... I don't believe it is.  Perhaps yogurt?  Or some mild egg dish, like custard?  But I would have to be able to stand long enough to prepare that, and tend it while it cooks.

That doesn't sound all that difficult.  But given my condition, it really is.  If I can even do something, it will probably be yogurt, with fruit.  Which will ruin my blood sugar, but get me something soft, easy to digest, and with some good with the bad.  Yes, I think I will eat, yogurt and fruit.

Better?

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Cautiously, I suggest that.  Everything that is wrong is still there.  Milder?  Improving?  I think so.  If, too, I can't yet be absolutely certain.  Sleeping a lot, that is certain.  Sleep really is helping.  Life has been very difficult since yesterday morning.  Before then, but it got really bad right about then.

If you have ever worked yourself half to death, into a dither, and kept going?  And your body finally just quit the whole game?  But, as it is starting to get oxygen back to the oxygen starved cells, lungs started not burning, muscles are just coming back from being burned out?  Not... back to it, just not as bad as it was, and more into recovery than still suffering?  That's... about where it feels like I am.

Really rough.

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Not sure what is so wrong?  The higher humidity, along with the higher heat?  Pushing a bit further than I should have, and in it?  My heart hurts.  My body in general hurts.  Everything, every part of my body, is tired.  More than tired, exhausted to the last bits of capacity.

It's as if everything I have for energy, and every little engine in my body... I am out of all fuel, and all the engines are completely overheated.  I am having trouble just sitting here.

Rough. Rough!

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Every muscle, joint, and bit of connective tissue which allows me to sit up, get out of bed, stand, lift, or else, hurts.  For no good reason.  If I had been working for days in a row, sure.  But I haven't been.  I have been, by necessity, taking it easy.  Maybe I did push too hard and I simply haven't recovered.  The little bit up on the roof was... something else.  Various other excursions, efforts, chores, too.

I like it, in one sense.  I love exhausting myself.  I just wish I had done more to get to this point.  Unfair.  Maybe.  But life isn't fair.  So... I just have to rest, relax, until I can get things rearranged.  The heat might be getting to me, or at least limiting my recovery.  All good.  I'll... do what I can.

Surprised.

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I did get the trash and recycling gathered and out, then to the curb.  Wasn't honestly sure that was going to happen.  My body hurts, my torso, legs, arms, neck.  Everything that is used to move, lift, carry... hurts.  Not... terribly, but tired too.  I wasn't sure I could do it.

As well, I bagged the bins back up, ready for this next week.  Nice.

On back to bed.

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Oh, but I have to get trash and recycling out.  Yes, I'll... do that.  The on to bed.  It was cool enough a few hours ago in order to turn the ac off down here, and open a few things up.

Still feeling rough.  Things hurt, inside.  Organs, bones, connective tissues, arms, legs, and midsection mostly.  The neck and back a bit as well.  It's a difficult time.

Oh, the side bruise.

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I had stopped checking it.  It seemed to have become... stuck, at about three to four ounce sized, or so?  Hard, but not like a rock.  More like a thick pack of leather?  I gave up on it, as it wasn't shrinking, softening, or doing anything.  A few days ago, quite by incident,  I bumped the bump, so decided to check it while reminded of it.

It is much smaller.  It is now, probably down to one to two ounces (think of a burger patty, but made of leather).  And deeper in.  If I brush by it, on the surface of the kin, it can't be felt.  I have to push in, find it, to sense it.  Fantastic.  Still, I hoped it would already be gone.  It's at five months now?  Or so?  The first appointment I have listed was the second week of April.  Though, was I going in before then?  Sometimes I just changed that date to the next, so sometimes I removed the previous day.  But that might be about right?

Not sure when, but back to bed.

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Again, again.  It is 20:27 as I wake.  I slept well, hard.  With the ac on since it was afternoon.  It is still on.  I'll want to turn it off before too long.  It is just down to 80 out there, but in the mid to low 70s everywhere, but 78 here.  Which... honestly, with the fan going, is pleasant.  Need a bit of warmth to kick the machine over.

Feeling better mostly.  Oh, the complaints remain, they are simply much milder.  Blood sugar had been 172 earlier when I was awake.  It is now 133.  For reasons, none, or maybe that was my body having some sort of hiccup in which blood sugar just wasn't... working, or was being mass produced for good or no reasons.  I have noted, at times, when my organs hurt, blood sugar can go a bit sideways.  There is nothing to be done for it.  But, 133 is better than 172, I'll happily take it.

Not dead!

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Still a bit miserable.  Waking midafternoon, around 14:30, I'm not moving fast or strongly or more than with some great effort.  The heart isn't tired, after a bit of rest.  But it feels like I was kneed in the groin, in such a way to harm the man parts there.  It hurts right up into my torso.  Some minor nausea.  I don't think I did catch them, or such.  I just think whatever is wrong is causing something like that sort of discomfort.

The back still hurts a bit too.  Muscles and arms ache for no good reason, more on the arms, biceps and triceps for no good reason.  Just getting off the floor, out of bed, was a stress to them for some odd reason.  And still a bit weary.  May go back to bed in a bit.  Or not.  If I can, I would love to sleep another four, six, ten hours?

Up, and all.

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Not staying up.  I had an event, but I am having to cancel.  I sent a text to the chief.  It is as much as I can do.

My heart hurts.  I took a handful of aspirin, for the pain and the particular sort of pain.  It can, has, helped.  I don't think I'll die, but I am toast.

Look, I... hear you.

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Believe?  Yes.

Remember.

Something is just off, rough.

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I turned the ac off, as I went to bed.  Upstairs and down.  Even the fans were turned off most places, except upstairs.  It was 75 when I woke up, upstairs, and down.  If 77 up front here.  Still, that is comfortable enough.  I turned the ac on upstairs.  And may, in time, turn the ac on down here.

Feeling just a bit ill, and still tired.  Even so, I wanted to wake up for a while.  To post a blog, see who else has posted whatever it is they might.  See about the few news sites I offer some very limited credence.  None of them are good with details, but sometimes they can put out the more simple, basic, idea of what is happening here or there.

So very tired again already.

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Why?  I can't say.  I have had coffee.  Though that sometimes can cause exhaustion itself?  Seems to, though not always?  I don't understand, not fully.

I shut the ac off, downstairs.  Upstairs was turned back on as I left.  If I go back to sleep, I will probably just leave that on.  Fans are off, too.  Reasonably cool this morning, 57 or 60 the last time I looked.

Quite a few tunes...

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This first one just caught my eye.  Most like it, presented in this way, are pure garbage.  I toss them after a very short attempt at a listen.  This one... was pretty good.  It presents as I sometimes prefer.  Sounds pretty good.  So, yes, I'll share out this one.  It's a... niche taste.  I understand.

When to bed?

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I can't be absolutely certain.  Not even roughly so?  My final post was at 20:28, but that is when I started it.  It... took a bit to get it written, edited to the point I do that, vids chosen, curated, and placed.  And, I... usually can't go right to sleep.  An idea expose sort of... invigorates.  I have to come down from them.  Usually.  So, perhaps, 21:30 at the latest?

Ah, fireworks had started going off, and probably sounded off for an half hour before going up?  Which means sundown.  We have a special state-like 4th of July, but coming up.  And, fireworks are allowed a few days before and after.  That is why the fireworks.  Quite the thing.  If you like fireworks, to a degree, this is one of the better places to live.

What... dreams?

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But... I have the sense they are not mine.

Who, out there, was touching my mind?  Do they know what they did?

10:30

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I just couldn't sleep.  Too warm?  And cold.  Odd.  Upstairs, under the covers, I was freezing?  No, I had turned the ac off.  I left the fan on is all.  I hadn't opened up.  It didn't matter.  Very strange.

Down here it has been 75, mostly.  Outside it got down to 57 or so, this morning, the lowest I saw it.  It stayed 70 upstairs, even with the ac off for hours, remained that until I quite trying to sleep after four hours?  Ugh.  Felt like the cold of death, which is part of the reason I had food.  Not so much out of hunger, just a... sense of something wrong?  Off?

I am hoping to get to bed shortly.  A strange night for music, and else.  What is about to happen?  Darkness wishes to consume.  I'm not sure from whence that comes, or which side it attacks from?  Which sides.  The forms it takes are not as they would seem.  The truth is, many who would seem allies aren't, and the enemies are working with many who present as "us".  Believe nothing you see, don't just take what you are told, either by "friends" or enemies.  They are far too often the same.

I'm not feeling well.  Not sure why.  I may have to change a few things up.  Though, there may be nothing to do for it.  Something is very strange.  Here, there, everywhere.  Even in my home.  Later, or more likely goodnight... or as close to that as I get.  Have a great day.

Why?

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A bit of rest.  Not much, not long.  No sleep, I think?

Hungry.  So, I got up and ate.  Polish sausages, and 'better' bread.  Bread with a carb to fiber ratio of 3:1, with no added sugar (if the labels can be trusted, believed).  As well, a fatted coffee.  I may eat more.  Fry burger, add carolina reaper, salt, pepper, cayenne, and regular hot pepper flecks.  Putting that on lettuce, perhaps with sour cream.

Hungry?

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Yes and no?  I don't feel hunger pangs, as such.  It is more as if my body is telling me food would be acceptable.  Not required, just... passing a note suggesting food would be acceptable.  Initially, as I learned to fast, I would just take the "note".  Leaving it there.  At this time, I sort of infer, back to my body, that we won't be eating today, or tomorrow.

Can I really talk to my body?  Not, verbally?  But I think I can inform it, in some way.  I do make the attempt.  Does it matter?  I can't say, exactly.  One might think the body would just know.  But I don't think it does.  It is me, right?  Well, yes, and no.  It is a part of me.  But not a mindful part of me.  That is the brain, and the heart (if that is separate from the brain, in truth).

A very long nap.

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No real idea when I went down?  I thought, maybe, around 15:30.  But that would have been the absolute latest.  Had been thinking of just a nap.  No coffee today, and... else.  I may not have done much lately.  But I have had several appointments and engagements, which I have been keeping up on.  Up here at about 19:30.

It is down to 73 outside?  Already?  A storm moved in.  Or... is... teasing.  Cloud cover, if lighter of nature.  Could still gather to a rain, or not.  A bit early in the year for that, but this is a cooler year, so given the category of the year, not completely out of character for it.

I did get up before noon!

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Oh, I heard the eight alarm.  Was almost sure I had this one.  Then... kept hitting the snooze.  The only thing I could get to move was the arm.  Then I was sure, though, when the ten went off, I'd have that.  Nope.  Sleep clobbered me so that I only ever heard one or two of the alarms.  Must have slept right through snoozing the hour away.  Still, eleven thirty beats fifteen thirty!

It is 84 out there today, but 72 upstairs, 74 downstairs pretty much everywhere.  I had everything open, shutting it all down when I got down here.  Well, shutting some things down.  Oddly, keeping some windows open really does help keep the place cooler.  I don't fully understand, but I'll take it.  Doors, and a certain window, have to be shut or heat pours in.

So late.

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Had meant to be to bed by 22:30 or so.  Here it is, 02:01, as I sit and right.  Ah, it's still 77 up front.  If in part because I am still here, the computer is on, and the router is pumping out heat.  Oh, it's not uncomfortable.  It's pleasant, really.  And about as warm as it has been since... noon?  Or... whenever I woke up anyway, give or take.  Maybe not immediately, but... before long.

Steak, fatted coffees, and water.  But... it doesn't seem to be working.  So I went looking for a meal tracker.  I found one I am going to try.  They tried to force me to sign up.  Which I wasn't going to do.  At $40 a year?  For an app that really doesn't do that much, other than spy?  Something I could do with pen and paper?  No.

Awake for a while now.

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I woke up around 15:00 to 15:30?  More middling in there, I think.  Meant to check the temp out there, but never did.  Still haven't.  Probably won't.  Just don't want to, at this point.  Nearing 19:00, I have just been drifting.

My mother called.  I had a lot to tell her, about things going on.  I asked about family and friends from back there.  Everyone seems to be still kicking, and doing as well as they can.  She is doing well, a few concerns.  I'll add them to my prayer list.  One of our fellows was in an accident.  I continue prayers for him, his friend, the others involved, and family.  Always other concerns, specific and general.

Still awake.

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Why?  I have been thinking about that.  I suspect because life is... too comfortable.  With the ac's running, and fans just so, and such?  I am too comfortable to exhaust myself.  And, yet, still too worn from recent efforts to quite be able to push through, do more, and cause myself to trip into weariness.

I will get to sleep before long.  And rest well.  If, too, I may have to go a bit off schedule.  Days will become nights, and food will be off, as with medicine.  Everything is about to do summersaults because... things went from becoming far too hot to becoming extremely pleasant in a period of two days.  My system will have to adjust.

I made it!

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Had a men's meeting tonight.  I had... forgotten.  Woke a bit late.  Not too late.  My phone, this time, hadn't lost the schedule.  So let me know the meeting was tonight, and when.  I had to shower, and skip on, pretty quickly.  I like to be slightly earlier, but not always is that possible.  Still, I was an quarter hour early.

Went in, and on to things.  There is starting to be more folk showing up.  I think there were seven members, and two others.  Not sure if the two others are higher ups, joining, or doing a looksee.  Typical of meetings I have attended, with a new group leader.  Several things coming up, things on the agenda, business and plans for events.  Making money, spending money, though sometimes just doing/being/and else.

What a sleep!

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Some yesterday, a lot today.  Just waking at 14:30 or so.  Fed the furry girl, refreshed her water.  Brushed my teeth then set the alarm for an half hour, after which I will start water heating for coffee.  And check the litter box.  I think she left a few gifts.

Yes, when my teeth are this nice, it's easier to brush, and keep up on that.  It's still amazing that, after decades of heavy drinking of coca-cola, coffee, tea, and lots of sugar, plus high carbs, that the last cavity was in '93.  And, I did have the start of one or two?  They said those would not improve.  They are gone.  I... do what they say can't be done.  Oh, and I stopped brushing my teeth by then, and really... didn't brush until... four or five years ago, if even just occasionally then.  No, you really couldn't tell by looking.

Way late.

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I just got lost in the night.  I set the ozone machine going.  Then... dithered about whether to go on to bed, or wait for it to do it's job.  I ended up staying up.  Then resetting it for another run.  Hmm...  Okay.  I'll check it in a bit.  One thing I'm not sure about is if this is a problem for gas furnaces?  Well, my furnace isn't running, but the pilot light is always lit.

While I was giving the second run a go, I decided to make the 'keto pancakes'.  I set the eggs out, in warm water to get them warmed.  As well, putting in a block of cream cheese so that it would be easy to blend.  Not... sure where the blender parts are.  So I used a mixer bowl that came with the blender.  A mini-food processor.  Worked well enough.

Things.

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I started out by setting up the ozone machine, in the suv.  It is on a timer, set for three hours.  Will see how it works.  The windows are mostly closed.  It is in the garage.  The garage door is open slightly, at the bottom (of course?).  Hoping it helps both the vehicle and the garage.  Will see.

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It was down to 74, last time I checked.  Outdoors.  It is 72 in the main room, was 82 in this front room.  Which is partially shut off, though there is a barrier of sorts in any case.  Air doesn't flow from the main to here, or vise versa, easily.  I decided to open the front door, see if that would help.  It's down to 80.  In the last half hour?  Hoping for more, but... maybe not.  Upstairs is probably remaining in the 73/75 zone.  While I won't turn off the ac up there, I will turn off a second fan.  That seems to help in the day.

I have tried to shut it off.  But, remember, and was reminded, that doesn't work.  It just takes far too long to cool the zone up there.  So that I end up sleeping warmer than I would like.  No, I'll... just... keep that going.  If the nights cool off to even fifty, I'll open things up, shut things down, and use fans.  Otherwise, no.  I'll... just keep it cooler.

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I did get the steak cooked.  And had another fatted coffee.  Wonderful.  Blood sugar is 135?  Stupid.  I am doing everything right, even skipping fast food temptations.  Very annoying, when I'm doing everything correctly.  Oh well.  I'll keep at it.  May have to quit the sweeteners.  Even cut down on fatted coffee too?

Half of a thick cut ribeye is about ~702 calories.  A cup of whole cream is about ~809 calories, with the goal being 1,800 to 2K calories...  That leaves three hundred to five hundred calories for another fatted coffee.  No, I am doing things right.  I... just had to redo the calcs.  Hmm...  I am not losing weight.  I may have to cut out that last three to five hundred calories.  Or measure things exactly?  Annoying.

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Speaking with the dental hygienist, she suggested an electric toothbrush.  I had some qualms, and asked several questions.  Her answers got me to considering, reconsidering, the matter.  The brands she suggested have a limiter, so that I wouldn't overdo.  She said.

So, tonight, after things were managed, and time was more open, I decided to review the brands she recommended.  Found one that would work.  Found some with apps.  No.  NO!  Get those f'ing things out of my ao.  Apps are notoriously insecure, both inside and outside of the company.  They steal, and use, your data however they like.  Clear your personals?  Want to bet?  Go get another jab, joker.  *sigh*  No.  NO!

I did find one that didn't require an app, and didn't have one installed, or possible.  Not that... the device can truly be considered secure, these days.  Whether it listens to you, and sends... collects general data... or else.  The nice thing about a stone house is it... isn't friendly to almost any transmissions.  Nice...  Though... even this isn't perfectly safe, just... a bit better.

I was having trouble finding replacement heads.  Won't buy if those aren't available.  Finally found those, and so ordered a few.  Hoping the main unit will last two to four years, so bought enough for between those periods.  As well, ordered the base.  Will see if it works as they say.

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I asked about whitening processes.  I expected $600 or even much higher.  The last time I checked, that was bogus expensive.  A different city and state, but still.  They must have decided two a year, or forty a year, thin choices.  It seems not so much.  I have... expenses, right now.  So can't get in too soon.  But, at that price, I may try to store up and get that going in the next two to four months?  Or so.

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Ugh.  I think it is about bedtime.  I am deciding how to set things up, through the night.  Will set the alarms for a bit earlier.  Am still hungry, so may have some yogurt and fruit, even if it will blast my blood sugar.  It's being a sh*t anyway.  So... might as well have something I like.  Bah!

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Oh, I also did get to the store, if I didn't mention it.  Now, with cream cheese, lemon, raw cream, and sour cream, I should be able to mix up a batch of cheesecake, and those, what I call, keto (or even carnivore) pancakes?  Oh, yes.  I think so.  Best get on it, before anything goes bad.  Oh... really looking forward to that.  Might even make a whipped cream topping!

Goodnight.

Wow.

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Far more done than anticipated.  On the good side, it didn't get as warm today.  It is down to 84, but at 19:03 that isn't exactly fancy.  Though that it only got up to 92, as the highest I saw it, was a... more moderate day.  Really, 92 to 95 is... high summer temperature normals.  A 108 day is rare, an 82 degree days is about as rare.  The rest varies.  Still, it was hotter there for a few days, and expected to remain above average for a week or three.  Surprise!

The first problem was dental.  Not a problem, but the first thing.  It looks like my brushing regimen is better.  I had been indenting my teeth, by brushing too hard.  After the last two visits, we worked up a method for me to try.  No real grip, more like cupping the tooth brush in my hand.  And, that has worked.  As well, the usual problems they see, plaque and bleeding gums?  The plague was light, down from heavy.  And not gum bleeding.  And the indents weren't worse.  So... very good.

Pretty good.

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I am in recovery from pushing the heat a bit far before finally turning the ac's on.  Not as bad as I have done some years, but enough that it is still a recovery phase.  That was the main problem, or half of the problem, with the roof?  Though it was steeper than... anticipated.  I really thought I could do that.  Though being burned out from the heat was an extra saddlestone.

It was between 75 and 76 near where I was sleeping last night.  Doesn't sound all that much cooler, but with the fans and ac going up there, it was cool enough that I needed blankets.  If I have to keep it cool enough to need blankets, or too hot to wear clothes, I'll take the blankets.  The main part of the room is staying near 73.  The sun bakes my side of the house, and the house holds it.  So... that is just how it goes.

Awake, if for a bit?

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When did I wake up?  Around 2:30?  It is 3:44 as write.  Just... looking around the web, feeding Sassy, resetting a couple of jugs of reverse osmosis water.  When I woke, I checked the temp outside.  It was only down to 68, but was raining?  Very strange.  That it would be that warm still, that it would be raining at all, and that both would happen at once as a doubling down on both of those others?  Or such.

A double dose of electrolytes.  Not that it is terribly needed, strangely.  Keeping up, as I haven't been consuming as much as I feel I should have been, especially in this heat of late.

Still rather warm.

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Outside it is hitting 86/87 at 19:30.  Inside, it is 86 in the front room here.  But cooler elsewhere, 73 in the living room and kitchen maybe, 75 and 78 upstairs.  Warmer where I sleep.  It looks like heat is here for a while.  Certainly through the night.  I am pretty battered by it.  If much better, with all the givens, than I could have before imagined, for decades.

Fruit and yogurt bumped blood sugar up... to 181.  Oh well.  No other food today, just didn't get to it.  Meh.  Half a steak would have helped bring that down.  But I just... can't get to it.

The rest of the place is cooler.

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The living room is 73.  Upstairs I don't quite know.  Last I checked it was 77, in the main, so probably 80 near my sleeping area.  But I turned the ac on, thinking I would be getting to sleep soon.  I would guess I'm dealing with 75/76 in the main, and 78/80 near where I sleep.  Perhaps cooler, if anything though.  Up front here, in the computer room, it is 84.  Outside is 95.

I thought it would be hotter today, given how warm it started, at that early hour.  Usually, around ten, it is just hitting the low to mid 70s.  So 82 was a bit of a punch in the gut.  Thankfully, it didn't really, or much, build on that.  No more than it would, usually, if I just had to say.  Though it is building on itself, day over day.  It is what it does.

So warm.

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I let the ac go all night, upstairs.  Letting it time out downstairs.  It was 73 in the main, upstairs, 75 near me... or 76.  Comfortable enough.  After days of heat, now, building, I need and want the cooler temps upstairs.  And, will work on the downstairs, a bit.  Not even eleven and it is already 82 outside.  Which is due to that hot air coming through last night.  It didn't cool.

Oh, there are people who have it far worse.  Las Vegas, for example.  I had friends traveling that way for personal business, and last I heard it was going to be 118 F there.  I suspect that is one of their hotter days.  Some years they don't get that hot, some years it seems like half the summer?  Can't be certain, but... just from stories and other data I have obtained, if only roughly remember.  But I don't live in Vegas, if that is only one of the reasons.  Where I live, 82 at just before eleven (and probably through the night?) is hot.  Or warmer.  And heading to a blistering potential high for the day.  Vegas can cool at night, but again, not always.

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