Pushing through.

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I just hit a wall, but it is noon thirty.  I was sure I was awake to later in the day, yesterday, but maybe not.  Because it is murder to be up this late today.  I can't see having been awake later yesterday.  I was dying then, too.

Blood sugar is 123.  And... the weekly has bumped up.  There algo for that is... odd... though.  I don't trust it completely.  It may be there, as much, to cause the sale of drugs as anything else.  It's... not to be trusted completely.  Still, all of the averages are still... hmm... better?  With weekly bumped, but the others coming down nicely, weekly, biweekly, monthly, and three month averages (the latter was 150s just five days ago?  Ten?  Or in there): 133, 114, 111, and 134.  Good... could be better.  Maybe veggies, even if keto type, I'm just not ready for it?  Ugh.

Oh, delicious.

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Plus, a new trick.

A hindquarter, and a wing.  Not that there is much on a wing, but enough with else.  Sometimes it's the fiddly bits that make food more interesting.  As well, the rest of the mushrooms and veggies.  In a foil pack again.  But, this time, when it was done... and stewed more than else, I opened it up and used the broiler.

It burned just a touch, but okay.  I'll... adjust the time.  Still, even with some minor scorching, it was warmer, and crisper.  I... like that.

Strange.

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I was able to push my day into the early afternoon?  I think between 14:30 and 16:30?  Or... something.  I was so fried I can't know with any great certainty.  But... somewhere around there.  And yet I woke, what to me, seemed like a similar time?  It, of course, couldn't have been.  Perhaps the day was bright and relatively shiny both times?  Or I was dreaming when I woke?  I don't know, but something.

I must not have slept much, to be sure.  Four to six hours.  But I was ready and able to be up and going.  I fed Sassy first thing, then gamed.  As it neared midnight, I got the last of the salad, and good thing.  That was getting really ragged, but still if just edible.  A can of tuna, my dressing, some salt and fresh ground pepper.  It's good, was.  Planning on more chicken in a bit.

I got to it.

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A breast it was, with some of the mushrooms and veggies, in a foil packet.  Heated rightly, with butter, very good.  Strangely I'm not as stuffed as I was after the first meal.  All good.

I want to trim the easy pieces, but also pick the last of the meat off the bones, to make a heavier, thicker, stew.  It's been a while since I have had one.  If I can get to it.

Did it correctly.

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Roasted chicken, veggies, and mushrooms.  Wow, pretty good.

No, I didn't get it, or them, crisp.  The meat is more stewed, the veggies are slightly underdone.  But it works.

No idea.

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When to bed?  Awake here are right around 20:00?  Hmm, I'll be able to figure it out.  My last game save... I was crashing.  I wouldn't have made it much longer.

The game has me, again.  But it's not just that.  First the cold was getting me, so I turned the furnace up.  Having it nice and toasty, if just for a bit, is... breathing new life, and a bit too much, into these old bones.  And the pain.  Never did take painpills.  Now I don't hurt.

It hurts.

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Not as bad as it has hurt.  The ribs, though.  It's like some slip hipped gal pal decided to take "These Boots Were Made For Dancing" to heart.  Everything in there is out of place.  Thankfully, unlike some, it isn't the bone, cartilage, or such, just connective tissue being loose as fat goes away.  I'm not even sure how the body will refill those gaps, get everything to mesh again.  All I am certain about is I will be taking it easy.

If I messed around too much, currently, things could get hurt in there.  I mean organ damage, and possibly breaking those connections with bone, sinew, and whatnot.  Heck, my heart my actually fall out of the cup, as it isn't held well from the top.  Yes, it hurts to lose weight.  And a lot of weight off leaves the body struggling to... make sense of things.

Tuna salad?

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It's a think, lately.  I didn't think I would like it, the first one.  It was an emergency meal.  It's what I had.  The lettuce is a bit dated.  The tuna is a bit dated.  The dressing is fresh, and different each time.  With all the problems, it's rather good.  I just had my third one in days.  Will probably have another fatted coffee, and another salad.

I'm hungry.  I still think it was the tomatoes that stoked my appetite.  Carbs will do that.  Just like rice, in asian food.  It really does make me hungry an hour or two later.  Spaghetti?  Same, or used to.  Hungry.  But, keeping to carnivore, now.

Oh, well, sure.

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Just gaming.  I am trying the new game.  It's rough, but not?  There will be problems with it.  But, that is what games are.  Solving, figuring things out, getting into and out of difficulties.  It's... an analog for real life, mostly.  As long as it avoids politics, religion, and some other things... just problem solving... I'll go for it.

Feeding Sassy every few hours.  Probably feed myself before too long.  I did have a fatted coffee.  If the chicken gizzards are thawed, I may fry those tonight, in butter.  Tasty bits.  I like to roast them, for a bit, in one of my stainless pans, then fry them to a slight crisp to finish them off.  A bit of onion and garlic powder, to give them a slight breaded feel, without the carbs.  In theory?  Dunno.  Never sure if powdered herbs add carbs.

Dreaming of Genie?

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All night long.  Once you find your way to the light side, sometimes it's just as difficult, but in a different way.  Amazing.  Such an odd thing, but okay.

Just dreams.  Even so, sleep was very good.  The house is staying moderate.  I don't know what it got down to, last night, but it is 68 this afternoon as I wake.  Outside.  Indoors, upstairs and down, near me, in the main, etc, it is 72.  Very strange, but okay.  It's a good fall, or start to fall.  Today.

Doubts?

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Very good, Mr. Anderson.

I... think I'll explain things, as you wish.

Hmm?

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Sorting.  I did start laundry, but just.  I'll do more, hopefully yet tonight.  Wool and such, as a first load.  Next I'll do synthetics, mostly my Duluth Trader pants... winter and summer.  Get them washed, dried, and folded.  Putting all but the pair I'll be wearing put into airtight bags.

Then, tomorrow, on to dark cottons.  If I can get all those done, and dried, I'll work on whites the day after.  I can only do, and keep up with, about two bigger loads a day.  Washing, then drying, while dealing with whatever might be in the dryer.  Then folding or tending the fresh dry clean.

Every single last thing.

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The game I was playing.  I liked it well enough I tried one of the three dlc's.  It was good, no added political tomfoolery, so I got the others.  There is a lot to do in the game, and it can be complicated to figure out what to do, where to go, how to get there.  Lots of puzzles, too.

The whole game is a sort of puzzle, maze.  With actual puzzles and mazes to figure out, on the smaller scale.  Once it worked correctly, it was a good game.  The last bits were hidden, and shouldn't have been.  I had to look them up, manually comparing an online map with my map.  Again, these last three things should have shown up on the map, but didn't.  And one of the last things was on the map, but was hidden in the background.

Sort of difficult?

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Various difficulties.  Losing weight is complicated for the body, and maybe the mind?  The house is rough, which doesn't help.  Sleep is off, for various reasons.  Headaches, lack of appetite, various other things.  And, trying to adjust to the changing weather.  Warmer this day, cooler that, and changing fast and hard.

Still, sleep is good, when I get to it.  I have been eating salad, if nothing else.  The test strips arrived today.  Blood sugar was 157?  Ah, cherry tomatoes.  I've been having those with the salad.  I know, I knew when I got them.  I... did it anyway.  No more.  I'll toss the rest.  Sure enjoyed  them though.  I also have my four veggie mix, which will do well drizzled with the italian dressing I formulated.  I ate the salad mix, now have the veggies and romaine.  If they are still good.

I had to contemplated posting this.

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So it was considered.  So it is to be done.

To the young man, the other day, I saw out, publicly, in a dress.  You may or may not know this site.  Your father may hear of it, and connect you, or not.  Fragile?  Okay.

How long?

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I can't be sure.  I have been awake for... a long time.  I have been thinking, reading, listening, and all such things.  Brushed my teeth first thing, then fed my little lady friend.  Popped on the machine.  Looks like a few have visited.  More than usual?  Who knows.  But... if the numbers are even close to real, then yes.  Quite a few more than has been here lately.

Didn't expect it?  No.  I didn't.  But I didn't write for that, either.

Someone is... saying... something?

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It sure looks like it.

A gentle nod, and smile.  A knowing, understanding.  Some prescience, if nothing that isn't know or suspected.  Some wonder, past and present.  Or maybe saying what I think just isn't so.  Though... I... don't see that.  Even if from one who might suggest to actually know.  Certainly not from someone who simply hopes.

I couldn't sleep.

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Not just the... understanding.  It was cold!  Only 68, but there is something about that five point drop.  First, it is in a hurry.  It hit fast.  And... I haven't eaten.  I might have a salad yet, before going on back to bed.  I did have a fatted coffee, and turned the heat up.  Ugh, so very cold.

It looks like someone was... pondering my situation.  And... remembered... something.  Mild, mostly.  Different.  I... can see some of... the possible implications.

I keep hearing...

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People suggest we stop buying from amazon.  But, when you stop and think, just a second?  What are the options?  Well, I could buy from walmart... or the like.  An amazon, of sorts, in brick and mortar.  Or, maybe, just maybe, some local store might carry what I need.  Both of those last two will be more expensive, and with fewer choices.

I want a red handled knife, not a blue one?  I want the five not the four in blade?  And, I will pay more for the privilege.  Worse?  It's... the same product that amazon sells, made it in China.  It's all made in China.  Go find an electric toothbrush made in America, or even Europe.  Find a tool, or knife, made in either of those latter, or even South America.

Wouch.

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Have you ever thought you were friends with someone, for years... only to find out you aren't?  For their part.  In any way, it seems?  Stings.  At least I can still feel.  What was that, turn the other cheek?  So be it.

No, friendships aren't deserved.  That is true.  And... some of us are nearly impossible to be friends with, at best a friend you wouldn't want, as lyrics from a favorite song might suggest.  And I can be, am, brutal.

Up, late.

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A good day to have overslept.  Or... still be in the day night mixed version of my sleep cycle.  Electricity was off.  I received a call around 13:00~13:30, telling me it was back on, and waking me up.  Was hoping my friend was calling.  I have texted him several times in the last few days.  No contact back.  Called, went right to message?  May have lost my helper?

Up a bit early.  Am still fighting to take mornings back, and think I might.  But have to have the wind in my sails for that fight.  Totally lost it after yesterday.  Always... something with some.  As I said, all they have to do is ask me to go, then take me off all their lists.  I may have gotten too involved in something which I don't belong.  But they requested it.

Made it.

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The meeting.  Was given reminders.  A recorder, no a musical instrument, but the minutes keeper, was needed.  So it was, I can do that.  And did do that.  

There were several gents I hadn't seen in a bit.  Most welcoming, one not.  I'm... not there for him, or even the welcoming.  I am there to be a party to those who act charitably.  Though, to be in good company is a part of that.  So, having one turd is always something.  But, that's... his problem.  They are fishing for any reason to disallow me.  If they had something, definitely disqualifying, they would use it.

Up, early.

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Will be trying to take my mornings back.  Started.  It might be a slow process.  Did it before.  Will see if I can do it again.  This time it's proving slightly painful, but possible?  We'll see.

I think it was about three when I went down?  I set the alarms for nine and noon.  I heard the nine, but there wasn't a chance at waking.  I started waking a bit before eleven, but didn't quite make it until the alarm went off.  But was... sort of... looking for the exit.

Oh, right.

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I finally made it out of bed at around 17:30.  It was 73/74 upstairs, 73/73 down here, and 74 outdoors?  Odd, but okay.  Not sure if it had been warmer earlier.  Some days have been strangely cool, then heat comes back for a bit.  I just don't know.  Oh, I did put the furnace down to 66.  So it wasn't running, at all.  I didn't bother bringing it up, since 73/74 is good enough for me.

Here at nearly three, it is still 73 in the front room, 74 in the main, and 54 outdoors.  Plus, it rained outside.  How much I can't tell.  I thought it sounded like it, but that seemed so... distant, light, that... I wasn't sure.  I should have just looked.  But... didn't feel like it.

I keep thinking about making ghee.

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It's not really that difficult?  It does take time.  Some of the processes take fifteen or more minutes standing.  Or constantly checking.  Easier, really, if I can do it, to just stay on my feet while doing it.  I have been looking for other ways to do it.  And, while I think they may work, I'm not convinced they will quite get it right.

Ghee, rightly, needs to be browned a bit.  It isn't just clarified butter.  Which is good, and does remove the elements of butter that are... not as good.  With those gone, the butter is nearly shelf stable, is for a decent period of time.  But more important, to me, it is able to be used for higher heat applications in the kitchen.

Still awake, again.

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I did get dressing made.  Nothing fancy.  My last gal pal like my dressings.  Not sure why.  I thought they were plain, even bland.  I do try, to add the right spices, herbs, salt, and some form of pepper... white pepper today.  It's... good enough, but I wouldn't right home about it.  She would, or... along those lines.

I used some of the salad mix.  Several types of lettuce, shredded carrots, perhaps purple cabbage?  Or... something like that.  It was okay.  Having a second coffee, with it.  Well, the salad is gone already.  I won't knock it, I just won't write home about it.

Up at 14:30.

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It's 83/84 outdoors, but you wouldn't know it in here.  It was 73 near me, 72 in the main upstairs, 73 up front, 74 in the main (with the furnace on... forgot to shut that off last night).  I don't mind having it warmer, but only in the day.  I mean, it was pleasant.  Sleep was good.  Didn't even wake with a headache... surprisingly for having gone to bed so late and gotten up so early even considering.  It was more like nine when I went down?  Or very close, maybe a bit after.  So... five hours of sleep?  I should have a headache.

You know, I've been threatening to take painpills, once a week or so for the last month?  I never did.  All good, the stuff is sort of nasty.

Hmm, 08:15.

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Didn't get up, still awake.  Can't sleep.  Bah.

Hungry, thirsty, out of sorts, cold.  Drifting.  Just can't sleep.  Stupid sleep.  Or... stupid insomnia.  I've got that bug.

03:05.

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*sigh*

I just lost track, playing the game.  The fatted coffee wasn't it, I just got lost in the game.  Still ma.  I'll... get to bed, when I can.

After the last of the salami slices, and a fatted coffee, I wanted to see if it was the salami which raised blood sugar yesterday, even that slight amount.  Nope.  Blood sugar, after a few hours, three?, is down to 89.  My ninety day averge is down to 140.  Oh, the rest are quite good, the weekly, biweekly, and monthly are 94, 102, 110.  Very very good.  I have never seen numbers like that, since before I moved here, and people started... causing problems.  I would say.

I wasn't even sure she was still watching.

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I think she approves, of the weight loss, and diabetes control.  Well, and... just... some other things.  Plus, throwing a flirt my way.  I have... toyed with her, remembered her, and sent flirtations her way, in my time, too.  It's all good.  We don't talk, save through very strained communications.  Such as follows.

I had the rest to the steak and an herbal tea.  Blood sugar is down to 101.  Still, that wasn't quite enough, so I finished off the salami slices, and am having a fatted coffee with it.  I turned the furnace up to 74.  Gee, but it is cold.  I should have showered, again, and dressed more properly.  Wearing a long sleeve t, but with shorts.  It's... what was easy, and it's a lazy day.

Down late, up late.

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Really pushing things, and it hurts for it.  Up to midnight.  I set the alarms for seven and nine, but didn't start getting out of bed until ten.  Luckily at that, and probably only because Sassy asked.  Insisted?  A... strongly worded ask.  :p  Even then it took an half hour to find my legs.

Fed her first thing, went to the bathroom, got on the scale, then brushed my teeth.  Filled the kettle, but won't start that until another twenty minutes, for my half hour no per ora zone after brushing.

Up late to check blood sugar.

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I wasn't terribly worried.  Just hoping the higher number wasn't a trend.  It is 95 currently.  So, all good.  I did have an herbal tea.  Very good.

Now I can go to bed and not worry.  I'll set the alarm for five and seven, though not absolutely certain I will be able to be up by either of those numbers.  Still, it's the goal.  Good night.

Finally!

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I have been planning to return some things for... a week, and maybe some days.  Just could not get life sorted.  A shower, the last few days, hoping that would jog ambition, create motivation, certainly make me ready to go.  But... until today, it just didn't happen.  And on one of the worst days of the lot.  After staying up so late, then waking eary, given the bedtime.

Out.  Two different places to go.  Was tempted to east somewhere, one of the returns was cash.  No.  I decided to have some of the steak, on or with a salad?  I got the steak done, almost forgot it.  But saved it, turning it in time.  As it ends, I just put a bed of lettuce down, then the steak on top, cutting it, and mixing plain romaine with steak.

That... to beh onest, was quite good.  Sure, I'll make some italian dressing, and probably ranch.  But, just this?  It has been so long since I have eaten anything vegetal.  The crunch of it, with the different crunch of the steak surface, and rare middle?  Very good.

I had thought of stopping at the bank.  But it was too late.  Next time.  all good though.  I've gotten a good start on some business.  Next week I need to get in and see about a loan for home improvements.  So... yeah.  Though, may wait for the fed's decision... whenever that is?  Plus, by then, I could get the bike paid off, and begin taking care of another debt hard and heavy.  Bleh.

I meant to stop for cream, on my way home, but just totally spaced it.  It is coming tomorrow, so... once home, I justed decided to wait it out.  But, I ordered three quarts of cream.  As, on fasting days, I like having two of those, and I have been fasting more recently.  A few days of eating, a few days of fasting.  Meh.  Good for prayers, I'll grant.  Not difficult for me, at this point, at all.  A nine day fast was cake.  Forty days would be pushing it, I'd have to have solid cause.  He did.

Hmm, washed new baselayers.  Merino wool, or so they say.  Can't dry them, or aren't supposed to?  So, I have them hang air drying.  As cool as it has gotten, of a sudden, I may begin wearing those.  Goes well under winter pj's, or regular clothes.  And I try to dress more properly daily, these days.

Struggling, just a bit, with my mornings.  Up too late.  I'll work on it.  One skid isn't the end, though.  And I think I can get it back.  I'd really like a fatted coffee though.  Oh, but tea.  I often forget about that.  That would be nice.  I want to check my blood sugar in a few hours, so will stay up until 22:30~23:30.  But I can have tea.  Just an herbal.  Blood sugar was 126 midafternoon.  Bleh.  Later.

Oh, I went down way late.

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After five, almost six?  Ugh.  I didn't even bother with the alarms.  I was just hoping to be awake by early afternoon.  I just... kept playing.  Stupid me, stupid fun game, but... okay.  I'm tracking the missions much more carefully.  Sometimes they would finish, in the past, with me not quite understanding what I had done.  And, after a while, after doing them.  I think my long play sessions clogs the game up?  Well, and the instructions are often clear as mud, or seem to me that way.

I did wake at eight, and laughed at the notion of getting out of bed as I almost instantly went back to bed as a exhaustion headache was leering at me.  Then, about ten, I started waking.  I thought I had looked, and that it was almost 13:00.  So... went ahead and pushed out.  That... exhaustion headache came back, but in a milder form.

Out.

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A shower first.  Brushed the teeth too.  Was going to be for the night, but... while out, I did shopping, and stopped for a Wendy's triple on lettuce.  I told them no sauces, but they added ketchup.  I was already a quarter done before I noticed.  Would have gone to In-n-Out, but didn't want to drive and extra ten to fifteen minutes one way.  Unsweetened ice tea, for the drink, no fries or else.

At the store I bought several types of lettuce and salad mixes, plus cabbage.  I can eat cabbage well too.  I also bought yogurt, cottage cheese, and a few other things.  Oh, I found actually clean salami, and keto bread.  Tried that when I got home.  Will see what blood sugar does.  The bread is mostly fiber.  Tasty?  Not... really.  But I don't care.  As long is held the salami and cheese, that is fine.  It did, so... it is fine.  We'll see about blood sugar tomorrow.  Though, if it's terrible, is it Wendy's or the salami and keto bread?  I'll... figure it all out in time.

Didn't get to much.

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Some days I just can't get to things.  I was sure I would today, but no.  Why?  I couldn't figure it out.  I checked the temp outdoors, around 14:00, 15:00, give or take.  It was 59?  That's... crazy.  It was 83 yesterday afternoon.  I checked just a bit ago, an hour ago?  It was 56.  That's parka weather, in South Carolina, or was when I was there.  I had to laugh when I'd see them donning parkas while I was wearing shorts.

Then, it hit me.  It's cold.  That's what the problem is.  I checked the temp, in this front room just now.  It is 73?  That's crazy cold...  It's not just the temp.  It's a bit dark, and at nearly 4600 feet elevation, 73 is... more like 65 at sea level?  And with no humidity to speak of?  Yeah.  That is what killed my mojo.

Some one is brainstorming.

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Never sure which of my minions, or antiminions, is at it.  But... I... see patterns.  Real people?  Some sort of AI?  Who... ever knows.  Only... the patterns.

Not even sure if what I see is real, or mere random scatter.  Save that I see a story emerge.  Easy enough, if you are insane, or "bright" (isn't that what the left thinks they are), or possibly plainly simple... to be lead?  I don't know.  But... I see, or think so.  Milk and cookies keep you awake huh?  Lets discuss this.  You better come up Sebastian.

Up a bit later.

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Tired.  Pushing things a bit much, lately.  So, last night, I changed my alarms from five and seven to six and eight.  Did hear the six, but didn't bother... no... I did hit the snooze, but then, immediately picked it up and turned that alarm off.  No.  Just... no.  I never got to the eight alarm, waking around seven, first.  Not quite being ready, I rolled back in.

I had the curtains open.  So when the sun got high, and warm by the way, in the sky, I came around again, at around 7:20.  So, up at at is.  Not exactly going fast, but... up.

Complaining, even pseudo privately, does work.

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I had started in on the new game, after writing about dei attacks on gaming customers.  But, then, decided to finish up what I could, on the main original game.  As I was going through various places, something popped.  Everything I had done, but which hadn't counted toward the final mission, popped.

It all began working, it started telling me where to do, what to do, and the marks on the map showed.  So... I followed it.  Not knowing if it would fail again, or... what.  On it went.  It was a short bit of work, very short.  Then I got to where I had been before, and it all worked this time.  So, I completed the game.

Well, a bit of work turned into a lot of work.

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As mentioned, if I can find my waters cheaper online than at the store, or even the same price?  I'll buy it.  Saves me a trip to the store while costing me only one haul instead of two, or more.  So... I received the first portion of my water.   I buy in larger groups, so as to not bother with it save every three or four months.  Half of it arrived.

I took one batch back, but realized the back room is a mess.  So... I began moving boxes over.  Empties, from water, and cat food.  But... that... didn't work well.  They wouldn't, couldn't, stack evenly, well.  So, I decided to collect those, and get them up to this front room, for teardown before long.  Ugh, but that was some work.  Still, done.

Not perfect?

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Well good enough.  Whether I like it or not, it is what it is.  I didn't get to bed until past two.  How far past?  Maybe to three, but I think not quite.  I did set the alarms, for five and seven.  Not sure I remember the five.  Didn't remember the seven, but must have been doing snoozes, as I started remembering the alarms at about 7:20.  I heard two?  Maybe three, snooze alarms.  Then... nothing.  I finally rolled over and checked.  It was after 8:20.  I finally got rolling, up, and out, at 8:30.

As mentioned, not perfect, but not all that bad.  I have no choice but to take it, and will take it gladly.  It is good enough, for the conditions.

Tea with cream, and more kippers.

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Blood sugar hadn't fallen, but... at 86, morning, and night, I don't mind.  A quick check, to make sure I hadn't overdone... it is 98.  That's... fine.  I may be on to something(s).  If blood sugar jumps by forty, that meal was too much.  A thirteen point jump is just fine.  Well, being that I just ate, probably an half hour ago?  Or less.

I wanted to try cream in the tea, same tea, or herbal tea, I made last night.  Cream wasn't bad in it, but not my favorite either.  Better than in regular tea.  Not as good as in coffee.  So be it.  But I didn't mind adding a bit extra.  Life is difficult.  Things are complex.  Sort them out.

Very good.

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I was cooking my steak when my brother called.  Didn't think he would ever call again.  Last time he wanted to argue politics.  I ended up hanging up.  There isn't a side I am on, or more, none of them are on my side.  One is a democrat, the other is an old timey democrat.  I have zero interest, at this point.

Trump promises a lot of things that sound good.  But, like last time, he'll fail to deliver.  Even when he has all the tools in play to keep them.  Better?  A stab is better than a shooting.  I don't want either.  If you are foolish enough to believe either, take another jab, marry an American woman, and keep voting harder.  Who ever becomes president will be a decision made by someone else.  Your votes don't count, and who  you get to think you are electing isn't your choice.  Who nominated, then chose, Kamala?  Not you.  No one voted her for the nominee.  Selected, not elected, and you'll still vote for her.

No way?

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After last night, I... wanted to check things first thing.  Weight is 220.0, blood sugar is 86 fasting?  Very nice.  Still worried when it gets lower, but... I'll just watch and maybe have a small bite to eat.  At this point, sardines, kippers, and the like, are as good as anything else, though... like ugly women, it's a two bagger.  Only, when it's going out.  And, I'll probably walk it out to the trash right away, or it... can... stink.  Not... women.  Never mind.

Oh, you are so mean, Doom!  You are welcome.  Like women aren't?  Just to men who will take it.  I take it, I just don't care.  So... why do you care, when it is what you crave?  Mean hump bunnies act all oppressed, when it's their turn.  All I'm saying.  Yeah, I... like it like that.  Softens em' up.  Reminds them who is boss.  :)

Nearly one.

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I... wanted to see the results of extra coffee and food.  I don't like going to bed with insulin falling, and with it that low.  Blood sugar is now 87.  That's... fine.  I'll go on to bed with some ease.  But... keep a bit of an eye open, for anything odd.  I'm not sure I have anything to eat, if it drops, to help with blood sugar.  But I have a steak I could throw on the griddle.  It's not perfect, but it might help?

Remember, my diet is based on controlling diabetes.  If that includes eating more, I will do that.  Curious what blood sugar will be in the morning.  Yes, I will still try to wake early.  If I can't wake at five, I'll try seven.  If not seven, I'll reset an alarm for nine.  If not then, I'll sleep until I wake.  It's as good as I can do, but I have a plan, and seven is still the goal.

It's 79, and I'm freezing.

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So... I checked my blood sugar.  It is 68?  That's crazy.  I'm going to have another fatted coffee, and a few packs of kipper snacks.  For now, it's what I can do.  I'm not terribly worried, but I don't like it being quite that low.  Not feeling any of the bad affects of low blood sugar.  No sweats, palpitations, feeling feint, or such.  But, I think that is a bit low.

If it continues that low, I may have to add some carbs.  Veggies of one sort or another.  But I have to be careful with that.  Still, I think it might be worth a shot.  Though, only if it continues to be that low.  I'll see in time.

Just past eleven.

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I fed Sassy earlier.  Cleared her litter boxes.  Got the trash and recycling out, but there wasn't much.  Reloaded the trash cans with bags.  Then played games until around eight?  Nine?  Something.

Then I got coffee going.  Finished that.  About an hour later, it seemed time to feed Sassy again.  But I wanted to feed her some steak first.  The last of the sirloin was heated on the griddle.  Perfect.  It was a bigger piece, so seven minutes on each side.  Remember, it is nearly raw.  Most couldn't eat it that rare.  These days, it's the only way I can eat it.

Up, way early.

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I didn't get to bed  until 22:30, again?  Later than yesterday night.  But earlier than the local trend of 23:30, or later?  Something.  It's trending down, but not absolutely steadily.  Still, up by 3:30.  Alarms shut off, I am in the certain awake phase.  A good dream got me going.  I... have things to do, as well.

I'll get trash out before too long, recycling too, I think this week.  Feed Sassy.  Deal with her litter boxes, perhaps change one of them whole cloth.  Her water was changed yesterday, and still looks good.  Still, maybe later this afternoon... or tomorrow morning I will change that.  A shower might be good.

A good day, but cold?

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It's mostly me.  I think.  It's 75 up front here, and 75 in the main.  It finally got up to 81 outdoors.  Might have been warmer, and I missed it.  When I was out heating up a part of the leftover sirloin, it was at 79, around 15:30?  Strange.  Still, as things stand, I'm glad it is warming up a bit.  I really do feel cold.

I had just a few ounces, maybe four, possibly six, of sirloin.  One portion left, a larger one.  I did want more, but... that will do.  Even so, I shared out a portion with Sassy.  Adding a bit of salt, cooking it correctly (or heating it), and she gobbled it down.  I think she is getting a taste for human food.  And it is the best human food for her.  I can't wait to try chicken.  I think she will like that, the way I do it.  Probably roasted, in the oven.

Oh, thinking about it.

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I have two ideas on my mind.  The first, of course, is kicking my phone over to grapheneos.  An android offshoot, or alternative, for my phone.  I have the instruction for that.  But... want to sort how to back up my phone's data, and back that up or copy it somewhere, for added security.  To that end, I have a few memory cards on the way.  I have some smaller ones, but no reader?  Or... who knows, but I can't find it.

I am still a bit sketchy about that.  Not sure if I even need to erase the phone back to factory.  If it isn't required, I won't.  Though I will remove at least one app.  Though, I am finding, removing apps seems impossible.  Well, I remove them (on my original phone, on the other phone I bought then returned, and this new one), but they just return.  Could be some setting I am missing, or some back up system in play that I don't have access to, or didn't know about the settings from it which reinstalls.  Anyway.  This should fix that, or allow me to figure it out.

Good, but... odd.

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I didn't get to bed at 20:30, but I did make it by 21:30.  Why is it so difficult to get on to bed?  The game, I am addicted.  Fine.  Still, I got to bed earlier.  I only heard the five alarm, but at first blush.  I turned it off.  Just not ready.  I was hoping to be awake before the seven alarm.

I don't think I would have, but Sassy came up and told me to get my big bear butt out of a bed.  She is named most appropriately.  And, since I was already on her side, if not for her reasons, and it was 6:46, I decided to do so.  A bit of itchy scratches, massaging, and petting, for being a solid gal pal, and I turned on the light, got up, and got going.

The window.

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Finished.  Very good.  I worried about cleanup, a bit.  But once I started, I realized the grout comes off really easily.  It is now very tightly sealed.  As well, the screen is on it's way.  Beautiful window, well placed, and cleaned up.  Mostly.  After I realized it was easier to clean when dry, I just did some of it, but making sure to open up the frame completely.  Getting the dried matter off, the little that remains, proves much easier when dry.  Then I'm not constantly fighting pulling more wet mortar out than I take off.

As well, I had a leak in the bathroom.  That has been solved.  Very good.

Up a bit late.

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I didn't end up going to bed until 22:20~30, or so.  But, that was... okay.  I thought.  Should have gone to bed earlier.  I've been pushing it.  It made waking up this morning brutal.  I didn't, consciously, hear the alarm clock until 5:20.  I must have, as it had been snoozed to then.  But I don't remember.  I just shut it off, then.  No way I was going to wake up any time soon.

When the seven went off, I... hit it.  I was pretty sure I was awake, so turned it off.  I... did get up, within five minutes?  No... more like twenty.  A shower, first thing.  Well, after unlocking the front door.  Expecting someone, early.  But, it looks like they are running late too.

I thought it was already nearly 22:30.

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Not that that is a horrible time.  Just that... it is getting later, I have been pushing it, and I wasn't quite going to bed, not quite yet.  Ah, but that clock is the one that is off several hours.  It's just 20:30.  Still, I am very tired.  It would be a good time to go on to bed.  I'll feed Sassy before doing so, after clearing her litter boxes.  Then, yes.

Still, smooth sailing.  If I have been going with less sleep, so a bit... weary.  Blood sugar is, was, 89 when I checked it later in the afternoon.  Not sure what allowed it to drop so well, so quickly, this time.  But it may just be a temporary glitch?  I don't know.  Only had a fatted coffee today, just one.  Well, and water.  I'll take a few steaks out, to thaw, tomorrow.  For Sunday, most likely.  Or... maybe later

Pushing it.

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Down at 23:00, or just at.  I wanted to be to bed earlier.  But, in the game, I thought I was on the crux of something I really wanted, so I pushed.  Only to... find nothing?  Too tired to go beyond, or look for the problem,  I finally just went to bed.  Shut it all down, gave up for the moment, and got some sleep.

Alarms set for five and seven, which will be my normal until they become... regular.  Then I may back it up a few hours even from that.  I don't mind waking at four to six in the morning.  That will give me a good solid running start on any day.  And have me up before other folk.  Allow me to shower, dress, be ready, or out, as needed.

Estrogen fluff!

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A story too.  Someone is sending wonderfulness.

Oh, I never said there weren't attractive women.  Just that they won't do.

Nice!

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I didn't get to bed until after one?  Two?  Just... couldn't.  Even so, I'll endeavor to do better.  But, for today, I still wanted to stick to mornings.  Or try.  I set the alarms for five and seven, and went on to bed with the intention of... probably getting up at seven, or through a few snoozes?  Goals, though, plans.

The five went off and I first hit snooze, then turned it off before it went off again.  I HATE alarm clocks.  That's... the stick.  Waking up before it is the carrot.  Then, around six twenty, thirty, I started waking.  I made it out of bed just before the seven alarm went off.  Since I was up, I turned it off, but only when I am just at the point of standing on out of bed.

Very strange.

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Oddly cold?  It is 75 in this front room, in the main down here, and 75 outdoors too?  Very... strange, all around.  Even so, I am absolutely freezing.  I had a bunch of carbs, yesterday.  That usually helps with warmth.  Not now.  I wasn't going to check my blood sugar.  But with being so cold, fully dressed (long sleeve t-shirt, pants, socks, shoes, well and of course unders), I decided to check.

I figured it would be really high.  I had a breakfast burrito and an egg and sausage croissant yesterday morning, then had two quad burgers at In-n-Out.  No sauce, no fries, no soda though.  Just water for breakfast, and unsweetened tea for lunch.  So... yeah, had to be high.  But, no... at 115?  Hmm... oh, and the weekly, biweekly, monthly, and 90 day averages are, 126, 127, 119, and 153?  Okay.  A bit of skid lately, but oddly from not eating as regularly?  Yes.

Surprised me.

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I was sure, with as busy as yesterday was, that I would lose my mornings.  Still, was able to get to bed by 20:30, give or take a quarter hour.  Which way I couldn't say.  I thought a bit early, but time was dragging as I was heading that way.  Just, I know it was well before 21:00.  I did set the alarms, but changed them to five and seven.

I woke around 4:30.  Bladder.  I had a big water before going to bed.  On the good side, I didn't have to wake to pee in the middle of the night, too tired perhaps?  And, I needed the water, being out in the sun, in the vehicle, and rather active (as I see things) all day.  So the body probably used most of the water I gave it.  Rather than it just racing to the bladder as it often does.

Wow, what a lot of fuss.

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I had to fight back my accounts, and passwords, on two of the three.  Then ignore as home depot tried to force me to talk.  No.  I don't talk to fucking machines.  Fuck YOU, and the electronic pony you rode in on.  After going three three rounds, it offered me a pushbutton option  Now I know it, I'll go there right away.  F.  U.

Got three bills paid.  I was behind on two, because I didn't have my phone, or other access.  And don't have a sign in, using the phone as a general rule.  Still, paid, caught up.  What an ugly mess, but... just... less than ten days late on any of them?  I think so.  One wasn't late.  All good.

A seventy percent day?

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I was just hoping on thirty percent being one hundred percent?  Or such.  And, I may yet add two hundred, three hundred, percent, to the bill?  Maybe.

The phone.  I had to be up, and out, by 08:30, or so.  And... a bit of a drive.  For the price, and seeming quality of the phone, I was willing to take the risk.  It checked out.  I bought it, and the fellow his coffee.  Of course, it still had to be hooked back up through.  For now, just through verizon.  For now.  Had to check some things.

Doing well.

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A bit warmer last night.  Upstairs.  But, no fans, anywhere... not even up there.  No ac running.  Just... quiet.  It has been that way off and on?  Well, finally leaving the fan off up there.  It was 74 and 76 near me up there, at bedtime, 74 in the main (almost 75), and 78 up front.  I don't think I checked outdoors, but it was 80ish into later afternoon.  This morning it is 75/77 upstairs, 73 up front and in the main down here, plus right between 55 and 56 out there.

It rained last night.  Sounded like a very short, but hard, storm.  Wasn't sure we got all that much, by sounds, but looks like we got more than I thought.

Plans.

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Contact made.  A time and place chosen.  I won't be asking for less.  The price is fair.  As long as it works.  Very good.  It would be nice to have it in hand, and just go in.  But it... takes time.  At least it is available.  Contact made.  Arrangements organized.  Path routed.  Yes.

I'll take a shower today, and tomorrow, and the next day.  To... get cleaned up.  I clean up pretty well, fairly quickly, but... I've been... rather low lately.  I need to get cleaned up, and for a few other things.  I don't think he was checking his advertising, just waiting for a call.  All good.

Wonderful.

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Sleep was mostly good.  My feet were as if blocks of ice, couldn't get them to warm.  So had trouble getting to bed for that.  It was 78, up front here, when I went to bed.  And 77 upstairs.  I think it was between 22:30 and 23:00 when I finally got up and to bed.  Once I got the feet warm enough, and crashed, sleep was fantastic.

I set the alarms for eight and ten.  Hoping they would just be emergency use.  As hoped, not needed.  I woke at 4:46ish?  It was 76 near me, 73 in the main, up there.  It is 72 front room and main down here, and 46 outdoors.  A nice morning, really.  And, that, again, is with a fan upstairs, on a lower setting, the central air fan going, but the furnace set to 68.  Interesting, possibly fascinating.

---------

A rather good day.

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Couldn't do much.  Didn't eat.  Had a fatted coffee, water.  Took a few water pills, with the edema going on.  It's not serious, don't want to let it get bad.  Bad enough to have, probably, five to ten extra pounds on.  Fifteen maybe.  It... tucks in, when it gets in.  By the time I see it in my feet, these days, it's... in the torso and even arms/hands by then.  But it doesn't really show until it first hits the feet.  Bleh.

No message from the seller.  I am just up a bit later, hoping to hear.  Okay.  On to bed I do believe.

A reasonable summer day, again.

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It got up to at least 85.  Which... was nice.  And not a seemingly cool 85?  Yes, some days, 85 just isn't... 85.  I can't explain it fully, but some days, 85 just doesn't feel warm, let alone hot.  Today it did.  And, honestly, I was glad for it.

This front room is up to 77, and I am actually enjoying it.  The main is 74, nearing 75.  If the tenth increments are to be believed.  And, yet, that feels cool, almost cold.  All good though, there, too.

Always with the new?

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Maybe not this time.  It's always a risk.  And, yet, sometimes?  So, I went looking for a phone.  Amazon offers them used, but for so little off as to be not worth buying used from them.  There are other sellers, so I went looking.  And, found several.  One fairly close, if it is still available.

Of course, I had to reset the password, and that was a real treat.  My internet is spotty at best, and brave isn't very good with keeping the connection live?  Or... something.  Still, after half a dozen attempts, it went through.  I have to remember to... do a few things, before sending something.  Or it'll get lost in the ether, never getting there.  Reloading destroys the attempt, at some places more than others.  Ugh.

Hmm... phones.

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Trying to sort things.  And... there might be a way.  Will be looking over things, when I go in to check on a different phone.  On the short, there isn't as many options.  Money, after last month, is tight.  But it was just payday.  So... some options, but still some limits.

Rather than go really low, I may go a bit higher level, say a pixel 6a, 6, or such.  But, rather than going stock android os, go with grapheneos.  Oh... not sure how much difference it would honestly make.  But, possibly, some.  And, the phone is modern, and offers better security updates, and for the next four to five years.  Where as lessor phones probably have no security, mostly, of which to speak.

Reasonable.

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Down at midnight, up at eight, a bit past on both.  Nice.  It is 74/73 upstairs, 71/70 downstairs, with a fan going and the furnace set to 68?  It is 52 out, but know it got down to at least 49 last night.  The sun is on warming, and it's up midmorning in the sky.  So a very good thing.  I will say, having a home which is much more moderated, in temp, is... very nice.  Life is easier.

I can take mornings back, in the right conditions.  Too cold, or warm, too fast, and everything gets a bit hectic.  But, when everything is stable, regarding temps?  Life is so much easier.  Though?  What happens when everything is optimal?  Well, then you... still have to live with... yourself, who you are, what you are.  A sinner, who will never get it.  A thick-necked heathen, if I like to think otherwise.  Even when we try, we... fail.

Oh well.

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The steak seemed good.  So I got it on the grill.  It smelled okay, while cooking as well.  While eating it, I... didn't like the taste.  No, I think it would have been fine.  The problem is, as I eat less?  I become much pickier.  I simply can't eat something if there is a flaw in there.  I just can't tolerate it.  What a waste.  Though, really, it was on standby for days.  I didn't eat else in that time.  So, while a waste, it isn't.

So hungry though.  I am still awake just thinking about the steak that got away.  Oh, I'll pull one out for tomorrow.  Best not pull two at a time.  It takes me three days to eat one, and I don't always want a second one right away... I seem to be taking breaks between eating.  So I only eat, say, three out of five days?

The thing I wanted done first?

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I didn't want to work on the phone until I dealt with g-account.  So... I got that done, but stalled doing it.  I figured it was going to be a mess.  One way or another, this would get hung on that.  Troubles, most likely.  I just wasn't up to digging into that pile of manure.  So... I didn't get going on the phone, or else.  I just gamed, while avoiding.

Finally, I got to it.  The solution set was created in... five minutes?  Half an hour max, with some running around that ended up not being necessary.  Literally, five minutes was what it took in actual work time.  So... when I go to set up the phone, I'll have access to the account.  That... should cut a lot of the problems.  Finding a phone that will work is the next issue.

Someone thinks...

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She is speaking in tongues.  I am definitely hearing.

But, does she speak true?  According to some.

Awake since almost six.

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I know I checked the temp, outdoors.  Can't, for the... oh, right.  It was 41.  I had meant to check again, before it started to warm, to see what the coldest temp might be.  But missed it.  Here at a quarter after nine, it is 63.  Not a bad temp.

With everything closed up, only the circulation fan on the furnace going (it set to 68 but not needing to run) and a fan going upstairs for air flow, it was 72 in the main, 73 near me, upstairs.  And down here it was 71 in the main, now 73, and 68 up front here, which it remains.  Very nice.

Some of it.

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I did get the phone and pad returned.  I was so mad.  Oh yes I was.  After spending that much time, effort, and such, to get them started and walked out the door, like a kid on Christmas, only then to be hounded for more money, more access, all the time.  To have things activated on my phone that I couldn't shut off.  Lots of problems.  From day one.

Now, as soon as I got ready to take it for a return?  The very day before?  The thing that was stuck on my phone, I couldn't turn off?  Went away.  Far too late by then.  I was just hoping they didn't have a trick, or clause, or such.  But, no, they took it back, both of them.

Is one of my clocks really off?

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I was sitting, out there.  Doing my gaming.  Then looked at the time.  13:30 already?  And, even then, time passed since.  I thought I'd better do some things.

A call was made earlier.  A change with the wound clinic.  No, she was pretty snippy.  Besides reading here, and other things about reading here, I don't just leave a message, and wait for them to call back.  I'll wait.  And do.  This time she actually answered before two hours went by.  I thought she was going to time me out with lunch, on that one.  I... think she has gotten direct employer feedback, from my feedback.  Yes... I know you read here.  *wink*  *grins*  Still, that is done.

Up early, down rather early too?

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I can't remember, exactly, when I went to bed.  I thought it was either 17:30, or 20:30?  I just... can't be sure.  Later, though, if I had to guess.

I shut everything down, but kept the furnace on to 68, overnight.  After having warmed the house to 74 yesterday.  Everywhere else was 72, which was okay, waking.  Sure beat the cold from the day before.  That one window makes a vast difference.  Though, being this cold this soon, is taking me by surprise.  I think the warmest I saw it, outside, yesterday, was 74?  I think so.  May not have posted it.  By the time I returned from my trip to town, it was down to 70.

It must have been 20:30 when I crashed last night.  I think it was 17:30 when I checked the temp, out there, after returning home.

I did turn the furnace up, because 72?  A few days, to a week, ago, it was running 77 in here, 73 to 75 in them main.  I still needed the ac a few times this last month.  Which... was odd that I didn't need it more?  This, to my mind, has been a cool summer.  But, I have acclimated greatly through diet, and figured a few things out about the house, how to run it.  Then, adding the new window, which isn't quite finished, but still?  That has changed things drastically.  I'll bet the furnace will run half what it has in the past, or less.

Oh, it's 68 in this front room, 37 to 38 outside.  Very cold for still August.  No heat up here, and I have it partially closed from the back of the house.  Hotter in the summer, colder in the winter.  I really need to get the living room finished, then put the computer station in there.  Just... leave these front cold rooms to themselves.

Yes, it is cold.  But that it was 72, with the furnace on 68, everywhere but this front room (which doesn't get heat almost at all)?  That was... impressive.  I'll bet even the upstairs stays much warmter.  I may run a very small fan up there, to bring heat up through the vent, or make... air flow to get it up, or such?  Worth a shot.

A few things of business today.  Tried to complete one of them yesterday, but the secretary at my doctor's office ignored the call until it was afterhours, then just dropped the call.  I don't do messages.  Those never work out.  I have time, I will wait.  Tough cookies.

On to a fatted coffee, and a bit more gaming.  It'll be a bit before offices open, and things can be done.  Good morning, day.

Hmm? Okay.

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Just... not sure if someone is suggesting, or asking.  Or it's a random.

But, okay.  Or... sure.  Resemblances.

Just a few tunes for my own... sake.

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Women, often, invade my space.  Sometimes, though, I take my own journey.

Musical, in this case.  Just a bit for me.  Aye.  Mostly.

Wow!

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I finally did close everything up.  And turned on the furnace, to 72.  I gamed for a while, a goodly while.  Making it through the game.  Doing the parts I didn't like, wasn't succeeding at.  But... making it, this time.  The clues are impossible.  I just don't understand some of what they are suggesting, to do, to go.

Then I decided to look around the web, and post.  It seemed rather cool up here.  And it is!  It's 68, up front, on the 29th?  That's crazy.  So, I checked outside.  It is 60 outside, at nearly 11:00?  That's absolutely... unlikely.  Oh, the sun is out.  It's shining.  For what little good that is doing. Wow.  Just wow.

Ah, that's it?

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It was 72 everywhere upstairs, 70 in this front (usually the hottest) room of the home, and 68 in the main area downstairs.  Oh, and 36 outdoors?  An hour or two ago.  Crazy.  With no fans or else going.  As well, I am closing things up, windows.  To try to keep air in.  Warm air.  Well, the upstairs I keep open, or it might get too warm.  Okay, there are a few windows open down here, too.  Hmm.  But not as many as there were.  And I may close up the rest.

What I can't believe is that it is still getting up to 80 out there.  That's... warm.  By any standards.  Especially for me.  If that is almost cool, to me, these days?  Very strange.  Age?  Illness?  Getting better?  Is this what "healthy" feels like?  Tolerating up into the 90s without too much difficulty, but not being able to handle the 68 to 72 range?  Or... am I just having to acclimate?

Awake for a while.

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Since midnight?  Three?  Something.  Just drifting, since then.  Gaming, initially.  Then to making a fatted coffee.  Reading what the internet portends, suggests, or such.  No, not so much the news.  The news doesn't matter.  You are told what you want to hear.  I am not.  They don't dare speak the truth.  If I want the truth, I'll tell you.  Which I do, from time to time.  Hated for it.  All good in my book.

Sleep was good.  Getting cold though.  It's 71 up here, in the front room, in late August?  Strange.  It was 74 near me, 75 elsewise, when I went to bed.  Didn't check when I woke up.  Cool enough to not use ac, if I did use a fan.  Delicious sleep, honestly.  I may go back down in an hour or three, try to just nap, then get a shower and makes some calls, do some business.  It is right between 45 and 46 out there... here as I just start to write.

Midearly afternoon.

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It is 80 out there, last I looked.  Might be well up by now?

I keep making plans, and being totally unable to carry them out.  Tired?  Weary?  Something.  Not exhausted.  Everything else but that.  More as if in an insomniac snap.  I can't quite wake up, or go to sleep.

Shorter days.

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The steak, this time, was excellent.  I was very careful with the time.  It wasn't as thick, or large, as the ribeyes.  So while half was eaten, it was closer to a third of the ribeye by surface volume, and less thick as well.  Still, done correctly, it really was delicious.  Plus, not so rich.  So I cooked it for only five per side, plus time searing the edges.

I love it when it works so well.  The last of the steaks, from the same package/group was not so good.  I was hoping this one would be better.  It looked like a mixed group, not... from the same batch, to be honest.  I wish, now, I could tell the difference.  Then again, I think this is the last of those?  I think so.  They were... edible, even the lessor ones.  Just not superior, as some where of the bunch.

Trash and else out.

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I... remembered.  The tasks, the day.  I really needed to clean the litter boxes.  Yeah, they had gotten terrible.  It's rare, of late.  It is, if nothing else, high summer.  I am, possibly for that reason, burned out.  While I feel good, not too hot mostly, or else?  I... may be burned out on summer.  Though, to be honest?  It feels as if it is already getting cold?  In any case, I am tired.

I would like to figure out how to get more food in my face.  Part of the reason for the recipes.  I really need more food!  I'm not willing to go too far into regular keto, it doesn't work for me.  Lettuce, of some sorts.  I have heard from other carnivores, and carnivore based doctors, and second hand from such, that lettuce would be okay.  The rest?  Pretty much needs to be meat based.  Though, I could try breading, using fried pork rinds?  Something to... add just a bit of crunch to pork chops.  Figure out how to bring burger back in, maybe trying grass fed, finished, beef, local.  Can't trust industrial beef.  Who knows what it is, where it is from, and such.  I don't even trust local beef, completely, either.

Just past midnight.

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Well, when I woke.  A bit of tinkering since.  Decided to kick out a post.

With a fan going only, it stayed cooler up there?  I had a feeling that the ac wasn't needed.  It wasn't.  I initially had difficulty sleeping, too cool even with just a fan.  I really wanted to get up and turn it off, I just couldn't.  One of those nights, no... ability to push out of bed.  REALLY wanted to shut it off.  Simply could not push out.  So, I buried myself into the blankets and, eventually, drifted off.

Recoverd, mostly.

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I really wondered, there for a bit.  Why did it take so long to recover?  I just don't understand.  I just know I no longer need heart medicine.  Or... for the moment.  That was really quite bad.  It felt like dying, and I would know.

I had hoped to get to a few things, but that won't happen.  Still too tired.  My pulse and such have improved.  Even so, I am still so very tired.  Oh, and the weather has cooled.  I think it was just 76 outdoors, when I looked, a bit after 13:00 or 14:00.  With no ac, or fans (even turned off the ceiling fan), it was 71, near me, when I woke shortly after noon, was it?

Up at almost 13:00.

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I turned the ac off last night, and the fans.  All of them.  It was getting cold.  I was freezing when I finally was able to crawl into bed.  When?  Midnight thirty?  No, it was around 03:30.  Give or take up to twenty.  Though probably in the later areas.

Sleep was difficult.  Low bp, being cold.  I set my blankets up, crawled in, shivered like a cold wet small animal until the exhaustion of that dropped me into a deep dark sleep hole.  But it became a wonderful thing.

Still rough.

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Was hoping food, specifically high carb food, would help.  Nope.  BP is up, a bit.  But last time I checked, after sleeping a bit, it was still 100/70.  Very low.  Especially with my moderate norm being around 130-150/80-100, and really in the mid to lower range on that normally.  I have to be careful with medication.  BP was beginning to pick up, so I thought it might be time.  Nope.  Blood sugar was 155 (before the fast food, for no good reason).  Not fasting, either?  After coffee?  I don't think so.  Very strange.

I pulled a few steaks out tonight.  A ribeye and sirloin.  I'll probably have the sirloin first.  Eat what I can.  Probably eat a third, or what of a third I can eat.  I didn't eat fast food because I craved it, I ate it because it felt like seriously low blood sugar.  Unfortunately, you can't eat your way out of a strange sort of overdose.

Something is really off.

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I checked blood sugar.  High?  Whatever.  BP?  Ah, that was it.  it read 86/68, pulse of 77?  Yes.  That is the, and a, problem.  I took medication.  I am not, apparently, eating enough to handle medication.  That bp is what I get when I am in shock, after... severe damage to the body.  Not good.

There is nothing to do to undo it.  It is like when I have accidentally taken too much medication.  Learned, through great pains, not to do that.  Looks like I am in the middle of the new lesson.  Without enough food coming in, don't take medication.  So absolutely miserable.  Not sure I want to try to sleep quite yet though.

Ribs hurt like heck.  Shoulders, muscles, upper body, hurt as well.

On the good side, got the window mostly in.  Finishing touches to be done in a week or so.  Oh, and it was a much better window than I was expecting.  I was told it is a higher end window.  But for the price, I... wasn't... expecting much.  Insiders are able to claim... serious discounts.  All I'll say there.  More than impressed.

As well, while my friend was here today, he checked the dishwasher, which was still leaking.  I didn't do it, as I would have broken the thing.  He suggested that the connecter was not even hand tight?  Oh, I know it was, when I did it.  So... it either self=loosened, or someone else did it.  Since I don't think it could have loosened of it's own accord, I guess someone did loosen it.  Who?  Why?

Well, it is done.  Now to try to level it, then build a cupboard around it, after some number of checks, to make sure it, or nothing attached to it, is leaking.  Bah.

It's a brutal day.  Windy, last I looked, out there, it was just 83?  But it's a dry, warm, strange, windy day.  Gusts, but with wind too.

A shower was taken.  I got fast food, no choice.  I thought the problem, initially, was low blood sugar.  Not sure if higher carb food will help with that, but it has a similar feel to when blood sugar is low.  Tasted like garbage, but was willing to gamble to... check something.  Won't do that again.

Hmm... on to bed, I think.  Oh, it's... not the time listed.  That is when I wrote the first sentence, then my friend arrived.  So I... stored and helped a bit, and watched, learned, listened.  It is now 14:05.  So, not terribly early, if not all that late either.  Pushed through the day, might push another hour or two beyond.  Just a bit more gaming, to... stretch my day.

Good afternoon, evening, day.  Prayers for you.  Goodnight, as well.

The clock is spinning.

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Day has become night.  Up at 19:30, give or take twenty.  It was 74 out there.  With the ac's running, all or part time, I was able to cool, sleep, and when awake do more.  Not perfect, but I may be able to recover.  It had just gotten too warm, for too long.  I needed some cooling.  Got it, getting it.  For as long as I need.

Weight is 118.2 this morning.  Three more pounds and I'll be down an even hundred since Thanksgiving?  Maybe a few months further back?  Something in there?  But, definitely a hundred within the last year.  That's a lot of belly jelly gone.  Blood sugar is 122.  Stupid blood sugar!  Though that is, in theory, the equivalent to an a1c of 5.9.  Or... so the calculator I used suggested.  Hmm, I'll bet there is a formula for that?

A few days of not eating was the problem?

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It looks like it.  Technically, it was one day, but when you count from dinner one afternoon, missing a dinner, then not eating until dinner the next afternoon, that... is two days.  Anyway.  Blood sugar...  Steak tonight, and a fatted coffee.  Just a third of the steak.  But that's good enough.  Blood sugar is 97, down from the mid 120s.  Very happy with that.

I honestly would like to eat more.  I just can't.  I may, the next time I am out, pick up shredded romaine, or a romaine based salad.  Or, maybe even just iceberg lettuce, or mix.  Romaine lettuce doesn't actually add almost anything to the diet, save water.  Same as iceberg.  But, if iceberg is less expensive, that may be worth it.

Wednesday?

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I had every intention of being at a meeting Tuesday night.  I woke up a bit ago.  The meeting was to be in about an hour and a half?  So... I was... going to have to push things a bit.  I got the grill going, for steak.  Set up for a shower.  Weighed myself (119.2, it was water that was collecting, which was adding to my weight).  Did blood sugar, which is 128?  Mid to late afternoon, my blood sugar just naturally runs higher at this time of day, regardless of sleep cycle.  But, still, that is an annoyingly high number for having fasted yesterday.  Very annoying.

Then I notice a text.  My new, right, membership card is in.  And, I was asked to take minutes.  Okay, I can, will, do that.  I shot off a quick gratuity for the offer, and update.  And suggested I would see the man in... less than a few hours, was it?  He... told me that was yesterday.  Bleh.

Just can't eat.

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I may have a fatted coffee.  Then go on to bed.  It should be cool enough upstairs.  I'll find out before long.

Someone knocked on my door, but I was in unmentionables or sich.  So, I went upstairs, put something on, but by the time I checked, they were gone.  Checking with the only one who might be more likely to visit.

Why?

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Didn't wake until noon thirty?  One thirty?  Closer to the latter, or after most likely.  It got down to 70/73 upstairs, so I turned the ac down.  And?  It went right back to where it had been.  Low, on the ac, means it doesn't work.  Doesn't do a damned thing.  Still, I slept well enough.  Just woke up a bit peeved at that.

The why though?  Blood sugar is 112 fasting this morning, and weight is 223.4?  Why!?!  I guess I don't care.  I had an extra fatted coffee last night.  Then again, I figured weight might stall, or reverse, until metabolism catches up.  It just took a while for that hitch to catch.  Now I have to wait.  Which is fine.  I probably couldn't have fasted for much longer.  Haven't pooped in a week.  That'll help.

I almost made it to bed a bit earlier.

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No, that isn't quite right.  I DID make it to bed a bit earlier.  However, it was really warm up there.  Or... to my thinking.  I turned the ac on.  But, then, decided to change my wound dressing.  YOUCH!  I really should have done that in the morning.  It... took... everything out of that wound, down to the meat.

Well, okay.  I thought I could recover.  I put the honey back on, this time not using the liquid type along with gauze.  Oh my word did that hurt.  Feet were beginning to swell, so I added compression socks.  But, yes.  That hurt way too much for me to go on to sleep.  So... until that eases a bit, I am awake.

Awake late.

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I went to bed earlier, say 23:00?  I think.  Doesn't matter.  I just slept longer, and later.  I'll... keep at it.  I think I can do it.  I do.

On the good side?  The scale read 221.6 this morning.  I didn't expect metabolism to pick up for another few days to week, so expected, at best, a slow down in weight loss, or even some gains at worst.  I'll gladly take that.  Further, blood sugar is 94 fasting.  That I hoped to continue it's downward trend.  Carnivore food doesn't spike insulin, or disturb it in any way.  I am well into my new trend to lower official weight.

A bit of good and bad.

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I have tried to call my mother.  She simply isn't answering.  Without being sure her answering service works, I haven't left a message.  Maybe she will see I called, maybe she won't.  Verizon, even V to V, is sketchy about that anymore.  They just don't provide solid service, and that is about as good as it gets.  Quality simply isn't available, at any price, these days.  Not in America.

Blood sugar was checked, three or four hours after dinner?  Two?  Something.  It was 109.  I have had doctors suggest they don't mind blood sugar jumping as much as forty points with a meal, and even more through the day after several meals.  Which... tells me they want people to be diabetic.  They... sell the pills.  I'm not sure how most of them sleep at night.  Probably really comfortably, until they wake up in hell?  Probably.

Difficult to eat.

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I was torn as to whether to try to eat the remainder of the steak, or half of it.  I went with half.  And... can't quite finish that.  So... okay.  I had a fatted coffee a few hours ago.  Fine.  I have eaten and taken in enough fat for things to work.

While I am satisfied, I also understand that, until my body gets caught back up, to some extent, my cravings could hit in an instant.  Not so much for carnivore meals, but for else.  The smells?  When driving by fast food places?  Those are as associated with the addiction to their food as the food itself.  Unfortunately, there isn't a means of blocking that.

Down early, up early.

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Earlier.  Not exactly beating the sun.  Better than it has been.  Down around 03:30?  Up at 11:20, or so.  Not bad.  Did food help?  Maybe.  When not eating, I feel like an old cassette tape, dragging, getting caught on something, or nothing at all?  Though, did food help?  Possibly, with resolved to resist the game.  Or... not.  I never truly know.

Blood sugar is 90, fasting.  And, for the first time I think ever?  The weekly average is below one hundred, at 98!  That is a record low for averages, ever, since becoming diabetic.  Yes, I am excited.  A year of that and I am no longer considered diabetic.  I was wondering what food might do to that.  The right food doesn't do much.  Oh, and weight is 223.6.  The loss has slowed.  It may stop.  It might increase.  That will be a temporary happening, until I get my feet back under me, or my metabolism fires back up.  Still, that is the least I have weighed since before I joined the Navy.  I was 220 when I went in, having played football, basketball, and been in track for my four years of highschool.  Though I got up to 240 in the Navy, through working out, swimming, and eating better.  But, I was in much, much, better shape.  Just a slightly plump old ill guy now.  Meh.  Working on it.

Neither food nor coffee.

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Water, sure.  Dinner was enough.  The rest has been bagged for tomorrow.  I wondered if I would be terribly hungry again, in a hurry.  Not.  Not at all.  The water is more for slight thirst?  Not even that, just... trying to make sure to stay hydrated.  No... serious need, or want.  Just... tending it.

I checked blood sugar again.  I was a bit worried.  It is 89.  That... will do nicely.  If I can keep on the diet, and do intermittent fasting.  Plus longer fasts from time to time, I think this will do nicely.  If I keep blood sugar down, below 100, especially with averages, after a month, I may just stop testing.  If I want to add something in, like more salad, or brocolli, cauliflower, or such, I may check while adding it.  Just to make sure.  As well, check to see if I have any negative reactions.