Down early, up early.

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Earlier.  Not exactly beating the sun.  Better than it has been.  Down around 03:30?  Up at 11:20, or so.  Not bad.  Did food help?  Maybe.  When not eating, I feel like an old cassette tape, dragging, getting caught on something, or nothing at all?  Though, did food help?  Possibly, with resolved to resist the game.  Or... not.  I never truly know.

Blood sugar is 90, fasting.  And, for the first time I think ever?  The weekly average is below one hundred, at 98!  That is a record low for averages, ever, since becoming diabetic.  Yes, I am excited.  A year of that and I am no longer considered diabetic.  I was wondering what food might do to that.  The right food doesn't do much.  Oh, and weight is 223.6.  The loss has slowed.  It may stop.  It might increase.  That will be a temporary happening, until I get my feet back under me, or my metabolism fires back up.  Still, that is the least I have weighed since before I joined the Navy.  I was 220 when I went in, having played football, basketball, and been in track for my four years of highschool.  Though I got up to 240 in the Navy, through working out, swimming, and eating better.  But, I was in much, much, better shape.  Just a slightly plump old ill guy now.  Meh.  Working on it.

Neither food nor coffee.

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Water, sure.  Dinner was enough.  The rest has been bagged for tomorrow.  I wondered if I would be terribly hungry again, in a hurry.  Not.  Not at all.  The water is more for slight thirst?  Not even that, just... trying to make sure to stay hydrated.  No... serious need, or want.  Just... tending it.

I checked blood sugar again.  I was a bit worried.  It is 89.  That... will do nicely.  If I can keep on the diet, and do intermittent fasting.  Plus longer fasts from time to time, I think this will do nicely.  If I keep blood sugar down, below 100, especially with averages, after a month, I may just stop testing.  If I want to add something in, like more salad, or brocolli, cauliflower, or such, I may check while adding it.  Just to make sure.  As well, check to see if I have any negative reactions.

Okay, wasn't sure how that was going to go.

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Ravenous?  Unable to eat?  I wasn't sure what my body would do, when present with food.  I cooked the steak.  Crispy on the outside, rare most of the way through.  Searing top, bottom, and sides.  Then I gave it five minutes to settle.  Finally, it was time.

I had no difficulty waiting through the cooking.  It wasn't difficult to let it rest.  I didn't dig in all that fast, just cutting the thing in half, and beginning on one half.

Who's mocking me?

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Did laugh.  No choice, as I saw things.  But... yeah, kinda.

Uhrm, right?

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Shut up!  Not YOU.  Me?  The world?  No one?  Someone else?  I don't know that!

No, not in a fussy mood.  Just chuckling about the world, and all that jazz.  Just woke up at 14:30?  Or so.  Been feeding Sassy, checking a few thing, minor tinkering first thing.

A rooster, more traffic, and the sun is beginning to tint the sky.

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It's almost six thirty... two minutes to... oh, by... the time stamp does suggest that.  States it, really, plainly, correctly.  It is 47 out there.  Not a major thing, this part of August.  Especially with it being a cooler summer.  It is 69 in the main, 70 up front here.  I had the front door open a bit through the night.  Strangely, I am comfortable enough.

I have certainly tolerated the heat this summer.  Can I adapt to the cold?  I have more things to wear, when it is cold though.  Various levels of thermals, both synthetic and natural fibers.  Though, if indoors, and dry, cotton is your friend.  Especially if you can change it daily, or so.

Down later.

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Much later.  Up later.  I can, on carnivore, push my day and night back into trim.  But, not when playing a game to which I have become addicted.  *sigh*  I can't put the stupid thing down.  A simple (?) survival game.  Though, to be honest?  I thought it would be a quick tosser game.

Play it for a few hours, or days, and it would be shot.  Here I am, a week in, still only... a third of the way through?  At best?  Technically I am only the last mission, with all the gear I need.  But there are... problems.  One doesn't simple walk into Mordor?  Or sich.

Yes?

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Is it six, or seven days now, without food?  Oh, well, I am having a fatted coffee a day.  Down to just one a day.  I had extra cream today, but usually I have between a quarter and half a cup.  I am reducing water intake, to... three to four cans a day?  Sometimes five, but trying to keep it down.

Something interesting, to me, is that I don't pee through the night anymore.  Or haven't in a goodly while.  I have to pee like a race horse in the morning, so rush to put on pj's, if I'm not wearing them, and a t if not wearing one.  As it gets cooler, I will be wearing those right on to bed at night.  Maybe even longjohns.  But, with it in the low to mid 70s, I go with just unders for now, usually.

Nope!

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Not to sleep, again, until 03:30.  Up at 12:30.  I did get the bandaging changed.  Used a new method, the doctor had suggested.  The skin is a bit sore, but... okay.  The wound looked pretty good.  Smelled good.  Yes, smelling is a part of tending wounds, like it or not.  That is attended.  Nice.  It isn't hurting today.  Also good.  The hurt means the honey is... encountering something?

Blood sugar is 105 fasting.  Weight is 226.2.  Very good.  Downing water and electrolytes now.  Will add waterpills and potassium.  Any time I take waterpills, I have to take potassium.  Balancing the stuff, I guess.  But it works.  Some things I will work with the doctor regarding, statins can get stuffed somewhere unmentionable.  As well as insulin "medicines".

Ugh.

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Just one fatted coffee.  Three waters, so far.  Blood sugar is 86.  Good.

I need to open things up, to get meat out.  Steaks are in the fridge, but burger is in the drop-in freezer.  Which... has stuff on it.  Two steaks out, a three pound burger pack... to be fried and stored.  Adding into things.

Afternoon already!

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I woke at around noonthirty.  It was 75 near me, up there, and 73 in the main with two windows open and a fan going, 72 everywhere down here with everything buttoned up, and 67 outdoors.  Stormy looking out there.  Not crashing down on us, but could tighten and pound at any moment.  Sort of expect it today, perhaps tomorrow, maybe both, and more?  Or... it'll all sneak off to Iowa.  Never can tell with certainty.

Weight is 227.2 this morning, blood sugar is 109 fasting (obviously).  With weekly, biweekly, and monthly averages as follows: 120, 133, and 153 perspectivally.  Good, very good.  And getting better.

Today?  I just... have to wake up.  The goals haven't changed.  Living room clearing, and cleaning.  That's all.  Oh, and pulling meat out to thaw.  Not even really all that hungry.  May just eat a day or two, to pump metabolism, then go back to fasting.  Bleh.  Later.

About bedtime.

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I didn't get to work today.  Fasting, extended fasting, is having a deleterious effect.  More just slowing down thought, as much as tiring the body.  A few more days, and I'll begin eating again.  I'll pull steak and burger out of the freezer tomorrow.  Let it thaw overnight, and begin eating.

On the good side, blood sugar is 78 tonight.  I finally broke the 130 range (when I didn't eat poorly and jack it to the two or three hundred ranges, bleh) it was sticking at.  Which is the largest part of whyfor the fast.  As well, I had the first bm in days.  Without eating, I was sort of surprised.  Just one fatted coffee today, and five cans of water.  Curious what the weight will be tomorrow.  I can't remember how many days since I ate, but it's... been a while.

Having some difficulty.

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Plans are good.  Implementation is awful.  Can't... stand, get going, find wind for my wings as it were.  Not that any thing, directly, is wrong, or even off?  No energy.  Which... makes sense with the smallest amount of consideration.  I haven't eaten in... three, four, maybe five days?  Well, fatted coffee, but trying to keep that to once a day... if even that is proving more... complex than simply willable.

Up at 11:30, or so.  I didn't get to bed until... after three, four?  So... not awful, just offset because of the bedtime.  No ac, upstairs or down.  The coolest I saw it out there was 52, I think, as I was going to bed.  But felt some chill winds through the night.  Not enough to close up, enough to wake me lightly... wake enough to decide some things.

Good to be useful.

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A friend will be cutting a limb, or more.  My guess is it is dangerous, peculiar, and difficult.  Which... is why he is doing it.  Yeah, it's half how I pick them.  Anyway.  He needed a climbing harness.  Two?  Two, though... maybe he will be having a helper?  They have one.  I don't mind.  Take what you need.  I have some pro-level climbing gear.  He just needed those and some carbineers.  All good.

Brought the nephew.  Growing... like a weed.  I am always amazed at how fast the younglings grow.  Turn around and he's a foot taller.

Up and at it.

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A bit later today.  Not until 10:30.  There is a reason.  It ended up a bit warm up there.  I had to close the window in the wee hours, cold wind was blowing in.  Bitterly cold?  Yes, it felt terribly cold.  Cut right through the blanket.  Just had one on, but that cold was desperate, for my condition.  So I closed the window.

Just the one near me, as it was blowing from the east, an unusual thing.  Often a sign, if there are such things.  Either a very good, or very ill one, if I were into such things.  God... does whisper, from time to time.  Not just in the ear?  But in the world too.  The dark one doesn't have this gift.

Someone is really... doing homework.

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I do enjoy the show.  Remembering me to them?  Remembering us?  Certainly seeing what is being thought on one side, if too rejected from my side.

And... this?  I think it is understanding.  And... a farewell?  I don't know.  A brother sort... seems to understand.  I do, too?

A good night.

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Weary enough to sleep, soon?  Maybe.  I want to stay up long enough to feed Sassy again.  Oh, and I would like to sort out her litter boxes.  Fresh, top down.

-------

It's been two and a half, or three days, of not eating.  Having a fatted coffee and a half, average, a day... or... such.  Cutting water intake, medicines stopped, but vitamins, minerals, and electrolytes being kept on tap.  Not a huge cut in water intake, just from six to four cans?  Or so.  Three to five, just depends.

What do you know.

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Speak into the ear, name the name, and... poof... email works.

*rictus grins*

Woah.

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Looking around on my google account?  Four devices hooked on it.  Not... anymore.  Had trouble with the samsung account too.  That may have been stolen?  In any case, it is back, and no other devices are connected.  Though, maybe, I disallowed my computer.  But there were definitely three (other than my) phones connected.  Will have to figure out the computer.  For now, the computer can't check email any longer.  The phone can, for now.  Nasty business.

It's 16:05, and right at 79 in this front room.  All good.  It is 77 in the main area, downstairs.  I'm not worried about upstairs.  I haven't and won't check outdoors, but I suspect it's in the high 80s to low 90s.  Though... it might be higher.  Even so, I am comfortable.

A good sleep.

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A better wake.  Up at about six thirty.  Waking regularly, and early?  I do have the alarms set, one for six, one for eight.  Usually making it slightly after the first.  Sometimes after the second.  Though... once in a great while, I can't get up until... later.  Even so, I am usually awake in the morning.  Going to bed earlier, by midnight.  Why?

Well, back on the carnivore diet?  That helps.  It's still warm.  It was down to 52 this morning, outside.  Inside it was 77 upstairs, near me and in the main.  No ac yesterday, just a fan up there.  It is, or was, 73 in the main, down here, and 74 in this front room.  It's 76 now.  I may open the front door, let some cool air in before it runs too hot out there.

-----

A rather fast and second response.

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Someone has a long memory.  I didn't think any of the old ones, who might remember, were still around?  Let alone, if so, paying attention, watching?

The terrible beauty of some memory.

A response before I even published?

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That was FAST.

She doesn't see it.

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I do.  Flirting?  Well, something like that.  Okay, not even I would call it that.  Someone is a bit... unhappy.  Wow.

Yeah, they started rolling in.  And... I... saw it in other places, other ways.  Yes, yes I did.  Felt it, too.  Not just one, not just nearby, further out a tiny bit, a bit more, and further out.  Did I... mention that I have a way with women?  Oh?  Oh.

Lots of entertainment in the news.

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Take a looksee at it.  You may not get it in your feed.  And, to be honest, I have had to pick through the bones.  But it's... definitely out there.  Almost wondering if the fear of what is coming is causing the scabs to eat their own in even greater numbers and with more relish?  Or mustard?  :p

Dancing on graves?  Laughing at deplatforming of all sorts?  You don't say.  But, really, not me.  Just understanding what happens when a boomerang is thrown, in theory.  But should that actually work, what happens when it or a mechanism like it, does work.

Well, looks like that is... arranged?

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When the wife says no, and absolutely puts her foot down?  No it is.  I'm... not judging.  Well, the feminine, a bit.  But, even in this case?  I... understand.  I see the point.  The clan is pretty powerful.  Being not of the clan is... difficult.  I get it.  So, it's not just... a simple thing.  Social and familial order, power structures, and such, are... powerful things.  Finances are also potent matters.  Sometimes one will take precedence, sometimes the other.

I doubt if I even understand fully.  Or get it completely.  But... I think I get it well enough to have some inkling of the reasoning.  Of course, the loss is... significant, even now.  But, the price would have been steep in every way.

-------

Up already?

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Sometime before midnight, maybe after, but within an hour either way, I went down.  Well.  No ac.  Again last night?  I think I have been turning it off most nights, lately.  But, this time, it was never turned on.  A fan was going, two windows open.  It was 77 near me, 75 in the main, but that was more than reasonable.  Downstairs it is 70 in the main, 72 up in the front room, with the place about as open as it gets.  I am quite comfortable in unders, shorts, a short sleeve henley, and a baseball cap.  No socks, but I do wear the clogs.

--------

About those?  They are... oddly very uncomfortably comfortable.  What do I mean?  Have you ever worn clogs?  Capital letter clogs, as in the brand?  Oh, wait, crocs is what their brand name is, they are clogs, made by crocs?  Right.  Anyway.  If you haven't worn them, you won't get it.

Well, some feedback?

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The loops I am being kept in are still functioning.  But, not... exactly at any pace of great or even tempo?  Methinks.  Still, the sun moves, the clouds come and go... and come back.  And... information is shared.

Insurance?  I received a quote yesterday, that I had agreed already.  However, good to... be certain.  Though the numbers had to be crunched more accurately?  Perhaps.  Oh, not fussing.  Not... with folk.  With reality, more?  Something like that.  Then, today, the signatory epaperwork sent.

Up at?

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Was it nine, half after?  Something in that range.  Fairly cool up there, even with the ac off at bedtime, if that was later... after one some short or mid bit.  It was 60 outside then.  Here at nearing noon thirty, it's running 87.  But it... feels cooler than it reads.  Hazy out there.  Terribly hazy.  At upper levels,  Just shadowed down at the surface.

-------

Hearing nothing back, from anyone.  Lots of things, but... no.  I understand.  Betting against the house, figuratively, and literally?  If you win, I suppose it would work.  If you lose?  Not so much.  I can't win, but that is why I don't bet.  I make fair offers.  Walk from it?  We'll talk.  But not on the same terms or grounds.  If I have to bull through, take the risk on my own, and hope in fear?  That... will cost.

So very long.

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The phone was checked on.  It was in.  So, after a bit of waking, in I went.  It takes forever to get the phone set up and going.  Tech, google, samsung, and all the rest.  It is horrible to get that done.  Hours and hours and hours.

First buying it, choosing things.  It is made to be slow.  And they sell you things along the way, upgrades, add-ons, etc.  No, it's... terrible.

She has been on my mind.

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Well, my mother too.  So I tried, again, to call her.  Earlier through the day.  And, finally, just now.  She answered.  We had a good talk.  She is aging.  It is difficult for her.  But, we try.  Does she understand?  I think so.  She doesn't want to understand, always.  The beloved children, of any parent, are heartbreaking.  Even... when we love?  Maybe more so.

Still, we had a good talk.  I have been trying to call her.  But she was at an extended wake of one of the grandsons of her dear friend.  The mother lost her only child, and a good one.  Some wounds can't heal.  Mother has a way with... those going, and those remaining.  She just does, or did.  It's a difficult grace to be granted.  But a blessed one.

------

Three stops.

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First to my former insurance office.  The fellow I have been working with was in.  He arrived after I had stumbled back to an informal meeting.  We had a reasonable conversation.  I let him know my diatribe wasn't... personal.  And that I wasn't angry with him.  Even if he made the choice, his decisions are based on corporate rules.  So...  Still, even we aren't going to be doing business, I don't want anyone to fear seeing me on the street or such.

I got the paperwork I needed there, and more?  Okay.  I had only meant to pick up one section of the insurance.  But he thought I might need both.  Now, he does work in the business, so... would know, and more than I.  I was surprised but accepted gratefully.

Offer, counter offer.

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Even talking about that much money is horrifying.  Worse, getting that close to a trigger.  Close enough to... cause a heart leap or two, the second one when he was... considering my counter.  Both ways, I would guess.  Just remember, it is business.  But, it sure doesn't always feel like it.  I forgot to offer steak.  Oh well,  He probably wouldn't have taken it.  When the brain gets focused?  Yeah.

He gave me his numbers.  Which weren't... far.  I offered mine.  No budge, either way.  And... not, as I said, that far off.  But... a bridge too far both ways.  On the good side, he did indicate what he thought he could sell it at, refurbed.  My guess is that was... his bottom line, not what... he hoped, or wanted.  Certainly not what he would offer it for (or, at least, without expecting a bidding war).

Showing the place.

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To a private buyer.  Sure, it's rough.  Sure, he will lowball it, hard.  Of course I can't take the bid.  But, this... is round one.

When he looks, plans, offers?  I know I will turn him down, unless he surprises me.  A lot.  He won't.  He can't.  They don't do that.

Two thirty, three.

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Three thirty going on four.  Awake.  I turned off the ac up there, changed which fan is going, opened the windows.  Didn't look at the temps, but in the low 70s.  Covered a few things up, pulled a few things out.  May do a bit more of that down here.  Set water to boil, set up coffee for when that goes.  Will have medicine shortly.

It is 62 outdoors, the low 70s front and main down here.  Good.  I have the place open, and airing out.  I won't feed Sassy until later.  Too early.

Difficult, but good?

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It cooled off.  At 20:30 it was down to 76.  Here at 21:26, I thought I'd check again... only down to 75.  It is 80, here in this front room.  Cooler in the main, probably much cooler upstairs.  It's good.

I got medicine in, vitamins, minerals, and the antibiotic.  I'm doing well at keeping medicine in, in spite of getting beat up with this and that work, task, offer or proposal to wade through, and business elsewise.  So many things are hitting at once.  And, yet, I have to keep up.

Nice.

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Not today, but soon?  Insurance, should be tended.  An offer on the house.  Ideas, things, goings, doings.  Nothing too absolutely fast.  Nothing too slow.  This, that, the other thing.

Exhausted.  But having a second fatted coffee.  No food.  I just... don't want to eat.  Can't eat?  Something.  Maybe tomorrow.  Maybe not.

This and that.

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Someone will be looking soon, to place a bid.  Not looking like the numbers I want, but... with just a bit of a boost, maybe?  If some things stayed, I'd want more.  If it is a key drop?  Cool, but I'll need time to sell some things.  I won't give a steal deal, and have to short time it, plus leave all assets.  No.  One, maybe.  The other, okay.  Not both.  You don't get freebies going both ways.

The idea of getting out, near the angle I want, with some loses and some benefits, at near the price?  Not optimal, but...  Could find a place to rent.  Do want to get the eye surgeries, if going overseas.  And, need to get paperwork squared, visa obtained, and some government paperwork set up.  Would take a year.  Still doubt if I we will get even close.  But... you never know.  There is some small hope.

On the good side?

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We'll see.  But, it... looks like the offer went through, for a better insurance package.  It can be postdated?  Or such.  Just emailed acceptance, back.  Let her know how I would like to pay.  As well, asked how she would prefer to proceed... via email, text, call.  Now I just get to wait.

No guarantee.  Insurance companies can, do, change their minds.  But, I'll run with it for as long as I can.  Can get a discount, for full year pay.  And, usually, I could do that.  But between a new fridge, dish washing machine, the repairs to the house already done, paid, part paid, and some other things?  Not this year.  But... next year, probably yes.  Unless some other huge squeeze arrives.  As a fact, I'll save extra so that it won't be a squeeze itself?  Isn't... that always the plan?

A tough morning.

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The night wasn't all that easy either.  Down by 22:30?  Or so.  Awake by 00:30.  Down again, finally, at four.  The alarm started going off at six.  A few snoozes, then I shut it off, with the second alarm at seven.  I woke up a bit before seven, got down to feed Sassy, set up coffee, brush my teeth, and hoped for a shower.

Just... there wasn't time to get a shower in.  I had an appointment at 08:15, then needed to visit the phone store, get that reset.

--------

Troubles.

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Nothing back from the hoped insurance.  The previous insurer called back.  Said one company might take it, for $3700, just for the house.  Which is well over double, or more.  Of course, he did say they would probably just put so many demands on the property, that they would essentially be turning me down.

I told him that they are trying to force me out of my home.  They will end up making me homeless.  Which is their intention.  Between controlling who can be insured, who will buy any property and for how much (or little), and controlling the financials as to who can buy and sell, they are shoving the poor out of our homes, to then steal them.

Rough!

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I had to get in, to the bank, to the cellphone shop.  I had hoped to do a few other things, but it's just not possible.

The phone was not being paid, and should have been.  Bank said the card was good.  But the phone company said I was using a different card?  That card gets busy, at the first of the month.  So, no.  It wasn't that one.  But it was?  I don't know how or why.  I may have used that card at one time, a long time ago.  But it shouldn't be the one on record... specifically because it gets busy at the first of the month.

-------

An odd night.

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It was just too cold!  I had to turn the ac off, and open the windows.  Then it got really warm.  Not all that much difference between 73 and 77, but it... was difficult.  Why was 73 so frigid seeming to the senses, and 77 so hot?  Whatever, I finally got used to it being warm, then slept well.  But 73 was just too cold.  My legs ached from the cold?  Very strange.

Still, I was able to wake, get everything off and the windows open, then get back to bed in very quick, short, order.  Plus let Sassy know the ac was off.  She can handle a fan, but not the ac.  She didn't arrive immediately, but I woke to her sneaking in later.  I can hear her, even with the fan blasting me.

Good, I suspect.

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It was already up to 88 by 09:30, right?  I think so.  And, here it is, 17:32, and... it's at 87/88 yet.  I have checked several times.  If it was warmer, I didn't see it.  Though, always slightly possible that it went up and came back down, if highly unlikely.  It is 80 in this front room, with the fan going.  At about 73 in the main area, living room, and kitchen?

The ac is going in the main downstairs area, and upstairs.  Probably in the 70 to 73 range upstairs.  I like to have it cooler when it stays warm most of the day.  Even the 80 temp up front, with the fan and ac's going, seems cool?  Pleasant enough.  More so when I can cool off in the other places, should I need a little time off.  It's only when it is 80 everywhere, or more, that it will get to me.  I need a cooling spot, even if just for moments.

Up at 9:30, or so.

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It was already 78 outdoors.  If clouds are billowing, growing, moving.  No storming yet.  Maybe it will just pass through.  But very warm for this early, and that stormlike out there.  I was sort of put off by the heat at this early of an hour, with the look of rain.  No smell of it, but sometimes rain sneaks up on us.

The upstairs had cooled, 73 near me, 70 in the main.  It is 73 downstairs, in the main, if 75 or 76 when I woke.  Up a degree, so far, up front.

Awake far too early.

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It was a couple of things which disturbed me.  The leg wound was howling, hurting, angry.  I have let it go for a week, without bothering it.  In spite of showing through, bleeding fairly obviously.  As well, it seems warm?  The temp only read 74 up there, near me.  And only 70 in the main, with the ac and a fan running.  Which is pretty normal.  Not the coolest, but definitely not the warmest.

It must be the humidity?  Hmm, down here it is only reading 44%.  Which, given that it seems to be in some form of inversion or weather system moved in, on top of a sense of the monsoon beginning to show?  Really, that isn't particularly high either.  It sort of has the feel, in the air?  Sort of, but it isn't reading as humid, or particularly humid?  It hasn't been the driest of summers.  Nor the wettest, by readings.  The rain from a few days ago, week ago, is gone.  What is here is from whatever weather front moved in, or... whatever that is.

Ah, something else.

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A shower.  Needed.  Teeth tended.  Haven't been keeping up on these things.  Well, not quite as well as I should.  Clean, tended, for now.

Then to town.  A stop at the bank.  A bit of cash.  Then on to the store.  I wanted to see what steak was available.  Thick cut sirloin, and a smaller ribeye roast.  Not tiny, just not the biggest.  Of course I had to cut that, but okay.

Not bad.

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I did get the side roof as done as I could do.  Then moved the ladder to the front roof.  I did take a rather long break.  And it was warm out there, 88.  I think it had warmed a bit more, but haze, high level fog, smog, or something moved in and cooled it just a bit.  Even so, that was pretty warm.

I was able to get the ladder moved, and up on the roof.  the front roof isn't, wasn't, too bad.  I cleared it off, a bit.  About as well as I can do it without a blower or the compressor.  I didn't think I was up to getting the compressor out and set up.  I did call around about the leaf blower.  It is located.  Monday, I am told.  Okay.

A couple of tricks.

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I recently received an email, about a subscription I didn't want.  On my phone.  Maybe I did buy in, at once.  Maybe I didn't?  I couldn't, last time this happened, figure out how to unsubscribe in time.  But, when the company emailed to let me know the payment had cleared, I asked them to scrub that, and stop the sub.

To their good, they did so without any real fuss.  I explained I am old, ill, and not a tech nerd.  Couldn't sort out how to cut it.  I had even changed my card, having my bank cancel the old one.  Didn't matter, they somehow used it anyway?  No.  I... really didn't like that.  I told my bank I lost the card, so they sent a new one.  And somehow they were still able to charge it.

This, that, and the other thing.

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An email, from my original insurer.  He... has a possible quote, but only if everything is done, plus he wanted pictures.  I had already told him not everything was, or even could be, done.  He... didn't read my email, at all, it seems.  Or, that wasn't important?  As well, I don't do pictures.

I didn't burn the bridge, to the best of my ability.  But I let him know, again, that everything wasn't done.  And that I don't do pictures.  But that I have a quote from two other companies.  I let him know what those were, or roughly.  Given that insurance often falls through on a whim, or something missed, or etc.  To give him something to compare.

A good night.

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Down at around 21:00.  After to as much as half after?  Or so.  I did wake a time or two?  If one after a dream, on just as I was waking at the end, so a really good sleep.  I'm not even sure I wake up in the middle, more like just a bump, while falling asleep?

I had to turn the ac on, being as warm as it was yesterday again.  And having had the ac's and fans, mostly, off save one upstairs and the ceiling fan going.  It had gotten into the mid 80s up there, 83 in the main.  With the ac running, and a fan up there, even in that heat I was able to get on to sleep fairly well, while it slowly cooled.  Neither heat nor cold ended up being an issue, once I tucked in, if I think I kicked out and tucked back in from time to time.  Easy though, wasn't so tired it was a fight either way.

I should have changed my wound dressing yesterday.  I'll get to it today.  Hoping to get a shower in before long?  Though I'd like to see if I can move the ladder into place, maybe get up on it, and onto the roof.  I have three to work on.  All fairly flat, if getting from the ladder to the roof is a bit of a trick.  It isn't a lot of work, the clearing.  It is just getting the ladder moved, and then getting from it to the roof.  Old.  Ill.  I will see.

Still 80 in the front room.

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Getting late, or later.  It is 77 outdoors, 80 up front here, 74 in the main, hopefully cooler upstairs.  Can smell smoke, outdoors.  Someone burning something out there?  Hopefully with care.  It's a dangerous time to be lighting fires, I have to say that.

Nothing but water, since testing early.  If I suspect blood sugar would still, somehow, be up.  So I'm not going to bother testing.  I'll do that in the morning, as well as weighing in again, before eating or drinking.

Maybe?

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One quote.  Seems solid.  But, when the tires are kicked, will it hold?  I don't know.  However, even if that doesn't, there is another option.  It isn't as inexpensive.  It would be the home on one plan, the vehicles on another.  So, if all else falls through, then maybe.

I tried to call back, but I had two other calls, to dig through first.  Wasn't sure... which was who.  I had some number of things to check.  I'll call tomorrow.  But good.  I have a name and a number.  And... another name and number if that doesn't work, or fails, falls through.

Maybe?

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One strike.  One maybe?  A quote is being formulated.  The other company was a flat no.  One other company called, of the three (other) companies who offer insurance in my area.  I won't know if they will offer a quote, either, until they contact me back.  Including auto, motorcycle, and home.  Not that that makes any real difference.  I supposed if you had a farm, home, half dozen vehicles, side business or two, that would give them more interest?  Or... do they even care, anymore?

My original company wants me to know they are still working on it.  But they... gave me a few weeks heads up, then didn't offer the insurance back, even when I took care of (most of) the problems?  They don't have... any vacations to sell.  At this point, it's goes to the best bid for the value.  Especially since they don't have... anything right out of the blocks.  If they had chop-chopped, I wouldn't have bothered.  Now that I am sweating it, all bets are off.  Don't freak out paranoid old farts, with losing their home, or paying huge fines, or such.  Don't.

I tried one of the petite sirloins.  Bleh.  First, overcooked a bit.  Might try a new one.  But, even rare, I think this is going to be... pretty horrible?  I'll... try again.  Between calls, and such, though, it is difficult to keep up on the cooking.  Ugh!

Ah, received a call from the homeopathic clinic.  They don't do toxin screening.  But, after looking closer?  They seemed to be chiropractic?  That... isn't what I was hoping.  I was hoping an actual doctor, doing specialized practice.  Custom stuff.  But no.  I... don't do chiropractic.

Now just waiting for any possible of two various sources of quotes, and another yeah or nay on a company for a third set of possible quotes.  Bleh.  Always something.

The roof needs work, not sure I can do it quite yet today.  I have to Monday to do it myself, at least?  Tomorrow, maybe?  If I can.  A bit rough, but slightly better, today.  May have to get the outbuilding painted.  But can't afford it this month.  Not sure I could paint it, myself.  That's... just... pushing things probably beyond my ability.  It's just one side of it.  The rest is good, solid.  And, yes, they said it is required.  And, any other insurer may require it too.  So... okay.

Lots of flops, and flips, currently.  But... okay.  Will just keep on, and at, it... as possible.  Later.

Looks like no insurance.

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It had seemed as if the company I had been using would be able to reset.  But that became not the case.  Then, they seemed to be willing to see if some of their other companies would insure.  But, that too, seems not to be the case.  I doubt if I am the only one running into this problem.  But, it is what it is.

Trying to find other carriers, at other companies, at this point.  Though, honestly, not sure where to even start.  They have been my insurance company, for auto and home, for... fourteen years.  Not any more.

We'll see.  This could go really bad, really quickly.  As in, losing the house.  If I suspect that is the point.

Up at 05:30.

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Not even sure when I went to bed.  Probably after 17:00.  Just as likely after 18:00?  Did I make it to 20:00?  I just can't remember.  It was pretty warm up there, perhaps 82?  It is 77, near me, this morning, but only 73 in the main.  That doesn't make sense.  Two fans going, no ac's in the house... for days, a week now?  

It is 71 up front here, 72 in the main room and kitchen.  And it was 54 outside, when I woke up.  Not exactly cold, but as I suggested, in Charleston, South Carolina?  They would put their parkas, was it, on when it hit 51.  It's been that cool some mornings.  Though, not through the day.  I think it snowed once, while I was there?  It was dangerous to drive in the rain, there.  The snow was outright suicide to drive in.  Southerners do NOT do snow well.  As a fact, it seems they... try to drive the opposite of how they should, in spite of having so little snow that it couldn't possibly impact driving!?!  It was crazy there.

Imagine driving when there is snow, and doing the exact opposite of how you should.  Now?  Imagine there isn't any snow on the ground?  More accidents than I could count.  They simply couldn't deal with white stuff on the ground.

Anyway.  I just have to laugh every time I remember being there.  Mice... and elephants.  By the way?  Elephants really are afraid of mice.  As are most women.  Life is good with such things to understand.  If my mother wasn't so old, I'd send her a fake snake too, wrapped as a gift.  I miss when we were younger.

Today?  I don't know.  Still a bit tired.  But I think I am feeling a bit better?  Friday, right?  I have left the bandage on for a week.  Will be changing it today.  Will have to change it in half a week, for that is when the next appointment is.  But, after this, the goal is to leave it alone for a week at a time.  See if that helps it heal better.

The honey will be used this time.  I doubt if they will continue with the honey.  That is usually only a two week thing.  Though, who knows.  Being on antibiotics might help?  Can't be sure.  But it doesn't hurt as much, around the wound, from what I can roughly tell?

Blood sugar is 175 fasting, which just doesn't make sense.  Steak, fatted coffee (and very light on the fats), and water is all I have had in the last five days?  Plus a day or two of fasting thrown in, on top of intermittent fasting on the days I do eat.  Bah.  But, weight is down to 230.2, which is down four point four pounds?  And, down ten pounds or more from the time before that.  So I am definitely losing some weight again, and I feel like it is showing is size loss more than even weight loss?

Seems?  Feels?  Looks?  These are tricky.  Never exactly certain any of that makes sense, or follows through.  But... I think so.

A serious relief?

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Something didn't sit well, with a recent hospital visit.  The nurse was... acting odd.  Have you ever felt... judged?  Given the ol' stink-eye?  I didn't think too much about it.  Who knows what it was about.  But, yes, it was there.  I just... couldn't place what it was about.

They put in a intravenous connector.  They always do in ER.  This time, though, they used it.  First to add fluids, electrolytes, and such.  They didn't tell me why, but in speaking with others, they do that if bp is low?  Okay.  Which is fine.  Then, later, I was told they wanted to give me a liquid form of the antibiotic they were going to put me on.

Hmm?

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No, I didn't make it back to bed.  Here it is, 09:15.  Here I sit.  A bit chilled.  With the front door closed, no fans going save the ceiling fan and maybe a fan upstairs, it is just to 72 in this front room.  Very cool.  Peculiarly cool for this time of year.  If... some of my new and old tricks, combined, have changed the whole system here in my home.  Humidity is ready 45, which is a bit higher, given no rain in a few days.

Blood sugar was 196 a bit ago.  I tested it because I was feeling a bit weak?  Dizzy?  Not... terribly so, but just... the edge of something.  I assumed blood sugar had taken a downward spike.  Not so much.  Our of frustration, I had a fatted coffee.  A much lighter one, just a quarter cup of cream.  I have no idea why blood sugar is staying elevated, unless the antibiotics, or infection, have that affect.  Though, as mentioned, I have some suspicions.  Need to check a few things.

Finally back to bed?

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Just hitting 02:25.  Cooling, down to 75 in this front room.  Open, with a fan going, but no ac used through the day, upstairs or down.  A first in a few weeks?  Or so.  Probably closer to a month or two.  Even when I would use the ac, this room wouldn't often be this cool by this time.  It really is feeling more like fall.

No more food, tonight.  Just not hungry.  Nothing to drink.  Tea, tomorrow.  Maybe the rest of the steak.  Or not.  If I have yogurt, or cottage cheese, it will be without fruit or sweetener.  Or tea or coffee.  Though would like to go with non-caffeinated tea, again, if I go that way.

A difficult time.

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Certainly not the worst I have had.  Waking at 21:30?  Give or take an quarter hour.  It was a pretty warm sleep.  Hot, really.  It was up to 79 up near me, 77 in the main.  Which really isn't hot.  So I had to think about it.  Ah.  I have a mild fever.  The infection sort of kicked in.  Wondered why I have been so weak, on top of other things.  Including feeling warm.  Fevers do that, hollow me out a bit, weaken me a lot.

Most of the simpler symptoms of the infection are mainly improving.  Going to the bathroom still takes a bit of effort.  But it doesn't hurt, burn, or else.  And, while I was told what hurt, on my back, wasn't my kidneys?  Whatever that was, it has improved.  Though, perhaps that is due to the new chair?

Steak and tech.

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I keep trying earbuds for the phone, and other things.  I just don't seem to have much luck getting them to work.  I'd love to put some music on my phone.  Though that just hasn't worked well, to date either.  I finally ordered a more expensive, but not nosebleed pricy, earbuds.

I have hooked them up before, other brands.  But always had trouble keeping them connected, while talking.  Never did get music to work.  Not sure how best to do that.  Phones have systems for it, but not... good systems.  And I honestly don't trust most apps.  They just steal data, open your phone to hacking, phishing, and else.

I haven't figured the things out completely.  And I am deciding if they buds even fit.  The mediums seem a bit big, the smalls far too small.  I may have to just return them.  Before ever even getting to try them out.  They were on a reasonable sale, but the next tier up is... double.  Not sure I want to spend that much on things that aren't seriously waterproof, have tracking methods, and such.  It's possible, would have to look them over.  Not into apple, so it would probably samsung.  I looked at various of the beats before buying.  If I had realized they had the idiot spot man I wouldn't have bought them.  But, sold to a different company, it is what it is, now.

Though, do any of these companies think when hiring names?  Not well.

While doing that I got the last of the new york strips cooked.  Had to change the propane tank.  Not bad, really.  This time, this one lasted me two to three months, if I haven't been using it all that often.  Had used it a while before the cold made cooking out there impossible.  It wasn't the cold, for me.  It was tank pressure issues.

The steak was very good.  Keeping it mostly rare is wonderful.  New york strips have, sometimes, a bit of gristle in there, or hard fat caps, or such.  But I don't even mind that.  I had thought to try to get through the whole thing, but I just can't eat that much.  Which does make it complicated, trying to get more fat and protein in.  Will try ribeye this coming month.  And try to eat more, drinking less.

Just non-caffeinated herbal tea today, other than water, electrolytes, vitamins, minerals, and antibiotics.  All in now.  I'll probably try to go without caffeine for another day or two.  So, also, without cream.  No fruit.  Just meat, water, some salt, electrolytes.  And, if I can do that, consider an honest several day fast, if without medicine (save antibiotics, minerals, electrolytes, and vitamins).  Just heart medicine reduction.  For longer fasts, it's best to put those aside.  Don't need them, unless water begins causing bloat.

Blood sugar is still staying in the 180s.  Gah!

On to bed, I think.  I hurt.  The infection, and antibiotics, is sort of beating me up.  I did make it to early afternoon.  That is good.  Meant to make a call or two, but no.  Sounds like the window will arrive by the 6th.  All good.  But, for me, the day is done.  Goodnight.

Not a walk this morning.

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It is a goal, to begin.  Possibly even in the winter, on bright mornings?  Maybe.  But, certainly, going forward, on brighter days through the rest of summer and fall.  Depending, too, if there is room on the side of the road, not too much snow or ice, and such.

Today is still a bit dark.  The sun is trying to come out, but isn't making it all that well.  Inversion?  High level fog/smog?  clouds up there?  It's odd.  Has been this way for a while.  Further, my foot really hurts.  I can limp around, but not walk well.  As well, I am tired.  I may just get the tea in, herbal, unsweetened.  Get medicine in with that.  Then go on back to bed.

Up at around four?

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Something like that.  It is just hitting 05:10.  Sassy was fed.  She slept with me some of the night?  Actually, all of the night.  But slept over beside my bedroll rather than in it, with me.  Which is fine.  I gave her some attention through the night.  Ears, her neck, and the top of her head are her favorites.  I just itch, make the motion, she arranges herself to be itched where she prefers.

It was 75 up there, near me, 72 in the main, 72 to 70 down here, and 52 outside.  Sort of a strange thing.  No ac's were running.  The ceiling fan downstairs, and a fan upstairs, everything else mostly open.  Pleasant.  Neither too hot nor too cool, didn't need to tuck into the blankets, but enjoyed being lightly wrapped in one of them?

Nothing fancy.

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I would like to have had dinner.  I can't cook?  More I couldn't eat.  I want food, I just can't eat, consume, digest it.  Not even a fatted coffee.  Just... nothing.  If I were able to digest something, I'd have cottage cheese.  Not tonight.  Or a custard, or carnivore cheese cake.  Again, not tonight.  tomorrow?  Maybe.

Still tired.  Had hoped to wake up.  It's not happening.  The weather feels as if we are already into September, or even October.  Some Octobers can be rather warm.  Not all of them.  But, this wouldn't even feel like a particularly warm October either.  Just... more average.  For now.  Who knows, maybe it will warm back up.  I expect it to warm.  All but certain it will.  But, once it begins bobbing down into the 70's for the day, the warming bounces just don't usually get too much higher, or for long.  Fall is here, or just so close it almost doesn't matter?

Up, for hours now.

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Down to 70, outdoors, last I looked.  77 to 75 indoors, with no fans or ac's running.  Well, the ceiling fan in the living room.  I slept very well, though strangely cold.  I sleep more warm seeming when it is closer to 70.  In the mid to upper 70s my legs just feel like they are freezing!  I used the same number of blankets, bundle the same.  It just doesn't make sense.

I called the store, to see how late the pharmacy is open.  I had plenty of time, but needed a shower, to dress, and get there.  It was an incredibly push to do those things.  Probably making it with an half hour, if starting out with more like two hours, almost three, before they closed.  I just... getting going was difficult.

Cool, boys and girls.

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I'd even say cold.  It is 70 to 71, inside and out, everywhere hereabouts.  That... is cold.  Cloudy?  Definitely hazy, but at higher elevations up.  Not like ground fog.  If mostly along the Wasatch front, not so much overhead or to the west.  A very strange, chilling, atmospheric or weather condition.  It doesn't have the feel of an inversion, but maybe?  I've not quite gotten to where I quite understand those yet.

The leftover steak, a fatted coffee (if using a lot less cream), water, electrolytes, and morning medicine in, down.  Thinking a nap would be good.  So cold.  A few hours down would be nice.  I won't even close up the upstairs, and turn on the ac.  Just leave it open, if keep a fan going up there.

Up at 2:30.

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Give or take.  It was really cool up there, 66 in the main, 70 near me.  Strangely, I slept extremely well.  When it is in the upper 70s, I seem too cold.  At 70, I tuck in, like a bug in a rug, and sleep so warm!  Almost hot.  Very strange.  It all works, either way, honestly.  I could, possibly, begin cutting using the ac, even putting it on a timer.  Just run it long enough to take the edge off as I go to sleep.

I didn't run the ac downstairs yesterday.  Only running the overhead fan and the fan out front here, mostly?  Might have turned the fan on in the living room for a bit, but decided pretty quickly that that wasn't needed.

It's been sort of rough?

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Nothing hurts.  While the antibiotics I am taking aren't as effective against the now known infection, it is slightly easing that.  I had hoped to get in today, but that just can't happen.  I did call, for a price check.  It will be roughly $15.  After taxes?  Any other costs?  I... should be able to do that.

It is 77 up here, cooler to much cooler everywhere else.  I haven't turned the ac on down here.  But did turn it on upstairs, as well as close that up, when I saw that it was in the upper 80s earlier.  Not even going to check on that.  Just too tired.  Yogurt and fruit.  I know, I just can't seem to get sweet or carbs generally, out of my system.

On into midmorning.

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I really didn't think I wanted to eat.  Cook.  Or even have coffee to be honest.  I was probably correct about not having coffee.  I may quit that for a few days.  I was worried the steak would be bad.  If it wasn't actually bad, that it would taste bad.  I was wrong.  I didn't eat the whole thing, just half.  But that was very good.

A new york strip.  Sometimes the fat on those is skanky.  Lately they haven't been.  But, too, I am buying, and eating, far fresher, far faster.  It was a wonderful meal.  A few chewy parts, but I can easily live with that.  I like some chew, in some of my meat, from time to time.

Up since twenty after midnight.

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Awake almost five hours.  A pleasant bit of being awake.

The internet cut out.  I was trying to comment something really politically incorrect.  I often will get my comment buried.  This time it was worse.  Initially that happened.  Then I tried to repost (learned the trick to copy, so I can just paste it back and go).  Nope.  The blog I was viewing became unavailable.  So I went to other blogs, in order to... reset, restore.  A few attempts to get back, and... the internet was cut.

Almost forgot.

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When one goes to an ER, not at the VA, even if sent through the VA, you have to call in within 72 hours, or so?  I was sent the number, but forgot to call.  I was going to do it last night, but crashed.  Then I meant to call first thing.  But it slipped.  Oh, that... could have been pricey.  So I got to it, hoping it was timely enough.

So tired, though.  Still awake, mostly trying to push through to remember to call.  Finally pulled the number down, then called.  Not too late.

Another mouse.

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Keeping the traps up, and baited.  Checking them from time to time.  Good think I keep checking.  Easy for one to be missed for a bit.  Surprising, mice can leave a major stink, that creeps out slowly.  But, once in place, it's rather potent.

Here at 10:35, it is still not yet 70 out there.  Very strange.  It is between hazy and cloudy to the east.  Surprised the sun didn't burn through it yet.  Feels like fall already and it isn't even August.  A slightly unusual weather system.  Usually mid to later August thing, or even September or October.

Still so tired.

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Up for two and a half, three, hours?  Though to be fair, it is still quite cool.  It is still right at 51 out there, 68 up front here.  A jacket might help.  A wonderful morning though, really.

Yes, a jacket.  I had coffee left over from last night.  Consumed that, but cold.  Water heating for a hot one this morning.  Hungry?  Yes, but I don't want to cook.

Awake plenty early.

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Was it... a quarter after four?  I think so.  Fresh water for Sassy, then food.  Fresh water for me.  I'll get medicine in as well.  That stuff seems to be helping.  It's cool indoors, and out, in the low 70s' everywhere, I think 71 was the highest reading.  Outdoor is down to 51, which was "parka" weather, in Charleston, S.C., as I remember it.  I still laugh at those folk, but that... is their winter.  It is, or was, shorts weather for an Iowan.  Though Utahns seems to think 30 F can be shorts weather.  If... not always as comfortably as they always suggest.  :p  Teens.  Bah!  Laughing with, and at.  Been there done that, or close enough.

Blood sugar is 241.  And for food that had a back-taste of vomit, rotten meat.  Never again.  Wow.  They are absolutely dropping quality.  Selling very old meat, if it even is meat?  Wow.  And charging bank for it.  Those workers have to know what they are putting out.  Perhaps they don't care, for the wages and "benefits" of "free food"?  Terrifying.  Lovecraftian dining?  I think so.

Got it all done.

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Medicine, steaks, coffee, water, and cream.  All but the cream in one place.  Two different payment methods.  Three actually, two on me from the present, one on me in the past.

Coffee ground, set up, and brewing.  Everything in and put up.  Medicine about to be taken, with the rest of the regular night things.

Mostly good.

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Medicines are available, from the store I need to visit anyway.  And, they carry my coffee.  The downside is it is a bit pricey.  No real choice.  Medicine has already been started.  Gotta keep it up.  They give me what of a break they can.  It's as good as it gets.  I have price shopped several times before.  It's all the same, or so close as to not be an influence.  Where, and when, being the bigger issues compared to pennies, or maybe a few dimes difference.

So tired though.  I almost wish I had told them all I'd be in later.  Rather tomorrow.  Two days out in a row is rough.  Even being out later doesn't help all that much.  Sure hoping I can just... get going, get back, take medicine, crash for a bit.  Get medicine later, and then sleep before too late again.

Steak.

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A type I have not tried before.  Petite sirloin?  Petite top sirloin?  Oh, just petite sirloin.  I did look it up.  Took a while to get to the bottom of the top of the petite.  Just petite.  The price looked good, and I really did end up liking the standard sirloin.  This?  By the cut, and look, and such, it should be good enough.

With the price right, and the cut looking good, I had to see if they could custom cut the things.  Thick cut, for such a small filet to work with?  Maybe.  So I called it in.  Spoke with the butcher.  Told him my wants  "We can try".  So, yeah.  I ordered a good little bunch of them, in the right size, one per package (or they will try to put them just about all in one package!  Ugh).

Up, for a while.

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I had to change my leg wound binding.  Had hoped to let it go a while, but was absolutely bloody.  I keep bumping it.  Well, and Sassy headbutts the area every time she gets hungry.  Though, really, she is just making it worse.  Not sure why, sometimes, some weeks, I just hit it hard, over and over, and don't seem to be able to guard it, consciously or unconsciously, the exact opposite for whatever reason.  And, when I do that, Sassy piles on, every time.  The scent, or feel of it, or my reaction?

More honey.  On the good side, that honey medicine is doing a wonderful job.  And I was as careful as possible to in getting the honey just in the wound bed.  You... need to do this correctly.  And, this time, I am going to try to shield the leg, so as to not cause excessive bleeding, and then leave the bandaging in place for a full week.  I had planned to that this time, but the bleeding was nearly leaking out of the airtight silicon dressing.  And, that WITH a sponge in there.  It was absolutely goobered up.

On to bed, finally.

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Up late enough to feed Sassy again.  And, whatever else the medicine did, it also started helping me go.  Fluids weren't a problem.  Though, was it the antibiotics, or the extra meals today?  Whatever the case, I have... had some reasonable release.  Might have to try to eat more of my calories, in meat rather than fatted coffee.  I've... lost some weight.

My weight was down to 234.5 today.  After if figured out how to get water flowing again.  A few extra waterpills the last few days, and extra fluid in.  It usually takes both.  Both it was.  I am sure tomorrow I will be down much further, anywhere from two to even six pounds down is possible.  Blood sugar will be up, from what I ate, a lot.  Oh well.  No choice, either end.

Oh? Nearing bedtime.

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I am staying up a bit longer for several reasons.  First, in an attempt to sort day and night a bit more solidly.  Or give that a shot.  As well, to feed Sassy another meal before going on to bed.

I checked outdoors around 19:00 to 19:30, and it was 70.  Here at 22:18 it is just down to 68.  The ac's are going.  Not sure how warm it got today, but it must have been rather warm, as the main area is 75, this front room is 77, and upstairs is 75 and 77?  I thought that is what I read going up a bit earlier?  Perhaps I didn't close a window, or one was opened by someone hearing me return home?  Yea, possibly still having break-ins.  Just a few... signs.  Traps possibly opened.  Though, over time, Sassy might do things.  Or very dubiously, I might undo a trap while doing something else nearby, but I don't think so.

Oh my word.

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A gooder, if long, day.  It was brutal to even get a shower, so getting out took even longer.  I didn't get out until 13:00, 13:30?  Did some business, quickly, and got in by 14:30?  Give or take.

They were busy at the ER.  But, given that, they were fairly on top of things.  I just got home, here at 19:28, but that was just as much to do with my bladder not wanting to top off.  They gave me a quart of electrolyte water, intravenous.  Which helped.  But even that took a while.  To be honest, I gave it a shot, not thinking it would work, just in case.  Dropped enough to fill the thing five times, besides the fill, at least.  When it rains, duck?

Hoping.

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Having a rough time getting going.  I thought coffee and food would help.  It really didn't.  I mean, it was good.  Just not... good enough.  Still, I will head to things now.

First a shower.  Then to get dressed.  It's up to at least 74 our there, if that was an half hour to hour ago.  The ac is off upstairs, will have to turn that back on.  It had gotten to 76 when I woke?  So is probably a good deal warmer up there.  I don't want to try to go to bed in the 80s, or especially the 90s up there.  No!

Amazed at how fake everything is.

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Oh, sure, I see it.  It hasn't been a secret, for a long time.  However, quite often, there was some truth to some things.  Places, people, ideas, which were still clear.  Now?

There are a few places which do some diligence.  I make the effort, if I keep out of the mainstream, purposefully.  And I have limits.

Up, but for the day?

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It was 76 up there, down near me.  Didn't look at the main room temp.  Warmer though, I have to guess.  Turned off the ac when I went to bed, opened the windows, since it was 59 outdoors.  It is 71/72 up front/in the main this morning.  The ac is also off down here.  The fans and ceiling fan are going.  And it has warmed just a bit, to 61 outdoors.  There is still some moisture on the ground, but not as if a fresh rain landed.  Only what remains from several to many hours after.  Still, always good to see rain.

Must have rained well.  There is a puddle out there, in the front.  Sort of unexpected, that.  Would have thought the world would have swallowed that whole, by now.  Though, it is where vehicles create a minor rut.  So it's not all as it seems.  Even so, a bit surprised.  A good surprise.

I have increased the water pill, back to the official dose.  Just to push the extra that was staying in me out.  It's not due to bp, or else?  Well, maybe.  I haven't been able to tolerate compression hose for a few days... week... weeks now?  Some short to middling span.  And, some resistance to going, from the infection, or whatever is happening in there.

Trying to think back, remember.  But I just don't think I caught my testicles anywhere, bumped them, crushed them, hurt them.  But that sort of pain is passing more fully.  It's different sorts of pain and discomfort.  Itchy in there?  Burns when I pee, usually.  The chord feels swollen, thus the resistance to going.  Some pain, radiating from the groin on up?  A bit of a knot of pain in the lower to mid torso.  Okay, some pain still reminding me of being hit, but much less at this point, on that score.  Well, the kidneys hurting just a bit.  And feeling slightly backed up, plumbing wise.  There.  Just trying to get the whole story down, before going in.

Blood sugar is still rather high.  With just water, since the beans and wienies, its down sixty four points, if still 146 fasting.  I can't believe the chili was so high, but I did have two cans.

Neck has kinks.  But else is okay.  Sassy slept with me, pretty much, the whole night.  She went downstairs a few times.  For business?  Water?  To scout her world?  I'd roll, get comfortable, and she'd be back.  I do enjoy having a sleeping pal.  She gets some itches and petting out of the deal, before I fall asleep.  She tries to poke my arm with her claws if she wants more, sometimes that works, mostly not.  I figure out how to keep her switch-blade claws from being able to tenderize my arm.  Brat!

On to looking around, waking up.  Good morning.  Good day.  Oh, I best check when the bank opens, and when costco opens.  Not necessarily for today, but... would be good to know, before long.

Thunder.

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Caught me off guard.  Such resonating booms.  Not as close as it sometimes is, but close enough to feel it.  I doubted it would rain.  Both a bit early, and just my standard pessimism.  So I didn't bother looking.  However, I had to get up for something else.  Water.

Decided to look.  Hmm, it wasn't water.  It was still 82 up here in front, which is oddly comfortable?  Well, sleep was so cold, so yes.  As I opened up I looked, well.  It's already dark, so I had to turn on the porch light.  Yes, raining, still, and for a while by the looks of things.  Nice, very nice.  So it was definitely cool enough to be worth the bother.

Some things seem better.

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Some things worse.  I was hoping I would wake up and just think, nah.  And nah, but not to going, to not going.  Not tonight, of course.  But, tomorrow, sure.

I finally got to sleep.  And slept well for a while.  Would still be sleeping, but a neighbor who is helping me with a will, called.  A copy!  I can work on that, rework any numbers, be more exacting.  There can be numbers, but percentages are best, with limits and maximums?

No, but I tried.

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I just can't get going.  Tomorrow.  If I am alive.  Probably be up later.  Just not for long.  Sleep is double cyclical, meaning I sleep twice a day, and hope for... a while longer up at some point, to get something done, anything.  Even just sitting for a while.

I've been sitting here, but mostly asleep.  No way could I even drive in, let alone a four hour gig, then a drive home.  Well, and I'd have to shower first.

Oh. Ugh.

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On the good side, they did pass the information on.  I was beginning to feel so terrible.  And had been on the line, waiting, for an half hour, because they were keeping people on the line excessively.  Anyway, so, yes, I got a call back.

Sounding out the symptoms?  It sounds rough.  It might be little to do about little, or it might be a serious infection, possibly of several places.  Never thought about kidney infection, or kidney and bladder?  But why?  Perhaps from the wound?  It... was exhibiting signs of infection.  And, of course, they always want to check the bum.  No, just no to that.

Public unions need to be destroyed.

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I called in to the VA.  I told the woman the problem, after being required to give her far too much personal data for her level of employment.  Then, giving her the information, and asking her to send a note to the nurse working with my doctor.  She wanted me to stay online.  I asked why.  She said to make sure she had it right?  Oh, there's... nothing extra.

She just wanted me to stay online to get more minutes of time, to put in.  She probably gets paid by the minute, or her employer (over)charges, by the minute, of which she gets a pittance.  And, she tried to force me to talk to a nurse.  The nurses they have through the center are more useless than the operators.

Awake yet.

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I wanted to sleep a long time ago.  It just wasn't 'doing'.  Even with ac's running, fans going, and everything set, currently, to optimal cooling, it is still 77 in this front room.  Outdoors is 67, and that only because a storm moved in?  Or... maybe that kept it warmer.  Sometimes it can do that, too.

I have the fan blowing right on me.  It actually makes it feel chill, but not really be cold.  Odd how that works.

Half a steak will do.

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I'll put the other half up shortly.  I did have bitters, as I suspected it would be a bit rich for my current condition.  I think that was a good call.  But, having some meat was really pleasant, needed, wanted.  A fatted coffee with it.  The rest of the day will be just water, perhaps with another dose of electrolyte powder, or just to finish off the first dose.  What of it is left in the jar.

I am still amazed at how sharp that mixer part was.  Cutting so deeply, and two thirds the length of my index finger?  Well, whichever finger is next to the pinky.  And, while my hands are petite, for my size, they are... long enough to palm a basketball.  Mostly.  Aging and lack of practice make that a bit tricky.

Brutal day.

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I was awake until... later in the morning.  Ten, noon, something.  I think?  Was so very tired though.  I was staying up in the hopes of getting to town to do shopping.  That... probably won't happen for days, maybe a week.  Why?  Because I am absolutely burned out.  Like a mouse, after a cat has played with me right up to death.  Things hurt in ways I can't understand.

I did find steaks, good ones and bad, in the drop in.  I tossed some of the bad, will have to toss more.  There is a real limit, especially on thinner steaks.  If you bother with thin steaks, eat them in two months, or just toss them.  They get greasy, are difficult to cook, and get frostbit very quickly.

On back to bed?

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I was looking for the burger.  It was left in the oven.  It doesn't smell, but it's not good.  So I just double bagged it, in grocery bags, tied it up, and tossed it.  Yes, it's not good.  Nothing else really available for dinner or supper, whatever you call it.  Which is fine... I really wasn't hungry anyway?  Hmm, maybe there is something in there, easier to eat.  Or... it just doesn't matter.

The last time I checked, it was only down to 68.  But that's been two hours ago?  It just isn't cooling off all that much.  Humidity is holding it, or was.  Which is fine too.  I just doesn't matter.  I should sleep well.  Oh, but it is up to 70?  Strange.  Humidity?  A front of some sort moving in?

Agony.

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The honey poultice hurt, a lot.  When I got home, and settled a bit, I decided to go on back to bed.  So very tired.  But that burning!  All morning.  I could rest, but not sleep, for the first... four hours?  Or so.

Rolling, flipping, flopping, trying to find a more comfortable position.  None were to be found.  simply resisting the urge to rip the dressing and honey medicinal patch off and out was... all that I could do.

Made it!

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A wound clinic appointment.  This morning.  I wasn't sure I would make it.  Even feeling better, getting a shower, getting dressed, and getting out on time, were all tricks I had to push to complete.

I haven't been tending the wound well.  So it was a bit rough, but not too awful.  The doctor is having me go back to the honey treatment.  It's not my favorite, it stings a bit.  I will do it, I will do it as well as I can.  He did teach me a minor trick, as to getting it to fit in more comfortably.  It will, does, burn a bit.  A price I will pay in order to get this stupid thing healed.

Just barely.

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I beat the alarm.  By five minutes.  I... just... wanted to see how close it was, rolled over and... just in time.  Now, initially I turned of the early time, so as to roll back in and sleep until the next alarm.  Before I even rolled over, I deciding against that.  I had set the alarm clock down and was about to tuck back in, when I just decided to get up.

It must be a better day.  Not that I am feeling a ton better.  I still have odd aches and such.  But, when I am doing better regardless of else, I... like to be out of bed.  As soon as possible.  I don't dream hard these days, or often.  But I used to hate to sleep for that reason.  The instinct remains.

Pretty good.

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It took hours, to get the griddle finished, a second go, then the burger cooked.  It got done.  I just finished a bit of it.  Can't eat much, didn't think I would.  Sure looked like a lot, but lettuce seems to be more eye than stomach.  A good cup and a half of burger, at most.  Some spice and sour cream to finish the thing.  Perfect?  More solid that I have been able to eat, and carnivore(ish) enough to not feel guilt.

I cleaned the griddle after finishing.  So, really, it's ready for more food, before too long, as needed.  I only use a portion of the grill, at any given time.  This time I used more, as I cooked a mess of hamburger into beef crumble.  Still, having been cleaned well, and again, and seasoned, then cleaned after, the two (of four) spaces I used are ready for another meal or three, depending on how well I clean after each.

Maybe.

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I got to the grill.  It needed some attention.  So I heated it, then went out with the duck fat.  Bleh.  Either the duck fat is rancid, or was just too strong?  Whatever the case, I decided not to continue with that.  Butter doesn't work, ghee perhaps, but I haven't made any.  Then I remembered.  Buckets of coconut oil.

But those are really old.  A decade?  Maybe.  Maybe more?  Kept sealed, in the basement.  What, about gallon or two gallon sized?  Something.  Organic, cold pressed, and as mentioned still sealed.  I had no idea how well that would work, but it's what else I had.

Better.

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Just plain better.  No major exemptions.  A bit of soft discomfort, but there... is... always soft discomfort.  Well, or more solid pain.  That is just life.  Failing organs, or the sense of it, is more severe, even for me.  And... mostly rare.  A few times a year, less these last few years.

I am hoping to get burger going on the griddle yet tonight.  Not sure, just hoping.  Then, to spice it, add it to romaine, add some cheddar and sour cream, and call it dinner.  If... the lettuce is still good?  I'll check shortly.  If I can get to it.

That did help.

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Yogurt and fruit.  Not the best, but tolerable, edible, comfortable.

I'll tell you, there for a while there, I thought I was, or might, die.  Didn't want to... put it out like that.  Something was really wrong.  I figured, one of those naps I just wouldn't wake up from.  Wow.  That was a bit harsh.

To eat or not.

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I hate when I get better, start feeling better, but not quite enough better to move on back into normal life things.  Like eating.  I have some want of food.  But my body isn't quite able to eat, digest, food.  Or... I don't believe it is.  Perhaps yogurt?  Or some mild egg dish, like custard?  But I would have to be able to stand long enough to prepare that, and tend it while it cooks.

That doesn't sound all that difficult.  But given my condition, it really is.  If I can even do something, it will probably be yogurt, with fruit.  Which will ruin my blood sugar, but get me something soft, easy to digest, and with some good with the bad.  Yes, I think I will eat, yogurt and fruit.