Oh, well, there is that.

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Some little femme fatale is playing my music?  Perhaps a murder or unkindness of... birds?  Those who fly with dragons seems to be of a certain sort.  *grins*

Can't say I mind.  I love it when the little ones try to use my weapons against me, and... perhaps... in their fair turn?  The world may not be fair, but all times turn.  So be it, amen, and thank God?  Aye.

A few morning thoughts, from others.

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This one is a guy doing a one year review.  A more realistic one.

Look.  I like carnivore, for what it does.  But?  It's a ballbuster of a diet.  It is difficult to stay on.  It takes a bit of practice, patience, there is a learning curve, and I find myself always looking for the "easier" way.  There is not easy way.  But, when you are on it?  And have gotten it to work?  Fat melts, even without exercise.  But it hurts.  Heck, even my physical frame hurts, from not having the mass it used to have, and having voids, or weak areas, or such.

Rainy days and Mondays?

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Maybe Mondays, at one time, got me down.  Sometimes.  But rainy days rainy days rarely did.  Oh, sometimes.  And, sometimes, they just beat me into the dirt, if I was having other problems.  But not this rainy day.  Oh, slowing me down a bit, just the dark, wet, gloom.  But... I... love this day.  Greening out there, I know that rain helps that.  And... there is "alive" in the air.  The rain spreads that.

Of course, I don't have to work in it.  It is a cold rain, not a warm fresh one.  But, even if I had to work in this one, on this day, I would like it.  I would put some layers on though, and a rainproof slicker, or whatnot.  But, every once in a while, I would look over, and up, and smile.  If mostly trying to keep dry.  Some days, for me, it's good to be alive through.  This, for a thousand and no reason(s), is one of those days.

Maybe not everything.

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I had high doubts everything hoped would be completed.  I had small hopes anything would be done.  More so when I woke up, and have had trouble uncrossing my eyes from the exhaustion I am suffering.  Raining, for a while it was incredibly rainy out there.  Not sure windshield wipers would have even helped on the highest of the modern settings.  Cool, dark, to go along with it.

Pretty out there, though.  I won't deny that.  Greening, growing things, yet still with the snow on the mountains.  It's... a nice part of the world in which to live.  I can't really afford it, I just can't afford to escape at the moment either.  Can't really sell the house, can't get out.  So... I'll take the good with the bad.

Tired.

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There for a bit, I thought I was going to crash.  I fed Sassy again.  Put bags in the bigger trash cans, which I had to get from storage.  Well, and while at it, brought laundry down from upstairs and put a load into the wash, while moving the load in the wash to the dryer.

Finally, I got coffee going, then also got a meal to heating.  Nothing fancy.  Aluminum foil, a bit of the casserole, the oven at 350, and a timer.  I must say, having a convection oven is worth the bit more in cost... which is less than it used to be but still a bit of a premium.

Very good.

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The bruise is still a bit grumpy today.  Still rather large, compared to any bruise I have had before in my life.  But too, a tenth it's original size?  Or so.  I am hoping bringing compression back into the equation will help.  But good reasonable sleep helps.  Down at around one, up at twenty to eight today.  I couldn't make the six wake, but I beat the eight alarm.

Sassy wasn't even pushing me this morning, but she was a little chatterbird as I woke.  Just "talking" to me, maybe about her dreams, or this, or that.  But she wasn't pushing me to wake up.  Just... happy to be alive, and I was happy with her.  She was surprised when I actually woke up.  She's been super, so I fed her first thing.

A better day.

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And about bedtime.

I did go retrieve the casseroles.  I heated some of the chicken cordon bleu.  That was pretty good.  A lot of pasta, but it will... do for now.  I'll try some of the meatloaf tomorrow, then probably put the rest of that into the freezer.  I'm thinking of pulling a third of that out, and putting a third of the c. bleu up.  Then freezing that for next week.  Nice.

I also remembered to pick up milk from the store.  So, tomorrow I am hoping, I can set up the kefir.  One thing at a time.

I'm almost certain.

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I sense her eyes upon me, if through my blog.  Who?  Who else.  Well, there are options.  The woman who has been watching me since I was actually small.

I feel some of what she feels.  Memories, thoughts, worries.  They... never stop worrying.  They aren't always nice, pleasant, kind.  That's... not their job.  Perhaps, more when we were younger.  To help when we hurt?  But later in life, a push or shove or a hug could all be seen as a part of their jobs.

A reasonable day, so far.

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Oh, but I better begin pushing through.  I did start laundry back up.  Ugh.  What is in there was left too long.  I can't find the vinegar.  Yes, they are still stealing things.  This, that, and vinegar too.  They take whatever they want.  I'm never certain about what that will be.

I got it in, used "bleach" for colored clothes, plus regular detergent.  Then ran that twice, on hot.  It's as good as I can do.  Now to get whatever is in the dryer out, switch it over, and hope that works.  I'll run a cleaning pod through a wash cycle.  Hope that helps as well.  Then, back to colored clothes.  I have two bigger batches in various places, and some in the washroom already.  Two?  Three loads?  I'll find out.

Late.

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I ran out of snoozes with the eight alarm.  But, was just awake enough to not let go.  Just a bit more and I was able to wake and get going.  I feel better, good really.  Am taking down a simple electrolyte supplemented water.  Will get medicine in with it.  No painkillers, life is rather sweet this morning.

For electrolyte powder, I use this.  I am adverting for this product because, at .45 a serving?  With enough for about three months of daily?  And the quality it has, and flavoring?  It's difficult to beat.  Actually, you won't beat it.  Some Chinese knock-off will sell for similar or cheaper, but who knows what is really in it.  The Chinese just don't count human life as valuable.  Of course, the US (government and business) is becoming Chinese, if we aren't already worse.

Called several places.

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Trying to find food.  A batch order.  Some sort of issue with their supplier.  Called another store.  Same problem.  Called another store?  No dice, just don't offer anything like what I was looking to purchase.  Frozen?  Have you looked at the ingredients in those?  A hard no.  The meat isn't even real, it's... partially vegetal... something.

I have looked around, online, to check for other places.  Nope.

A reasonable day.

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Hitting midafternoon.  A coffee in.  A bit of cough, though from dehydration, pollen, or something else, I can't be certain.  It's a dry cough, that's all I know.  Furnace is on.  Between that and the little sun getting through, it's 71 in this front room.  The furnace, at 72, just doesn't have enough to warm this room, so the house must be acting as a minor heat collector.

It was 53... sometime this morning.  When I woke?  By ten almost to be sure.  It's between 58 and 59 now, but sprinkling.  It's blustery out there, and mostly overcast.  But it's a pretty day for all that.  The world is greening, things are popping out and growing.  It's a good world.  And spring is a special time for the world.

Russia took out an Israeli nuke?

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Well, so goes the scuttlebutt around... some parts of the internet.  Believe?  Rumor?  You takes your chances, you learn to take all with salt, bigger or smaller grains, but... all with salt.

Me?  I... could see it.  Though, if I were to go that way, and believe the Israeli attack on Iran, with the probable intention of a high level (emp) detonation?  And the F-35 flying it in being shot down?  By Russia?  I would also have to believe they were informed by the US, given coordinates, current location, maybe the information to lock in the kill... live.

Pretty good.

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Going to bed at midnight thirty, I didn't think I'd be up at six, was hoping for eight.  I did wake a four to six, but no, yeah, I couldn't get up.  I had to hit the snooze twice, after the eight alarm, but was able to get up then.  No serious pains, not just crawling out still with a sleepyhead.  Fed Sassy first thing.  Well, after going to the bathroom.  And emptying the pee jug.  Three liters out, again, last night.

I hate peeing again at night.  I had, before the wreck, gotten to where that was a rare thing.  Between wrong but necessary food, limping to the bathroom so not going as often, this, that, and the other thing, I'm back to peeing at night.  At least I'm not wetting the bed as I did in my early teens.  Bladder hadn't grown fast enough to keep up, and sleep was difficult even back then.  When the world hates you, whether it knows it, or even knows why, you... sleep... lightly.  Violence, of one form or another, may be visited on you in an instant.

Wow.

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Time slipped by.  I was half snoozing, though, drifting through the evening.  Some thoughts, dreams, day dreams, and such.  Some awake time.  It's midnight thirty, or almost.  Bedtime, well past.  I'll set the alarms, and hope.  But there is a good chance I can't make it.

Did get medicine in.  And more water.  Drying up though.  Got to get electrolytes in.  Tomorrow, for sure.

Twice to town.

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A few returns.  Time was running out.  Needed my phone, for email, and when I got to town I realized it was back at home.  Gah.  Still, was able to get back, find it, return, and do the returns.  Yes, it was in question.

While doing better from this morning, and never did need to end up napping or sleeping longer, I was still just barely staying awake, and getting through the day.  One trip in was a push.  Two was a shove.  It was difficult.  But... the driving was nice, it is, was, a nice day.  Conditions couldn't have been better.

A bit better.

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The ribs don't hurt as much.  I'm not quite as seemingly tired.  The other pains and aches have eased a bit.  Not perfect.  Better.

Hoping to brush my teeth.  I took the chicken out with the trash.  Quite a waste of money, but I couldn't eat anymore.  And it was too late to put some or all of it in the freezer.  Four or five days out, it's just... won't freeze or thaw well.

I didn't think so.

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I did get some food in, after the shower.  But I am really in bad shape.  The ribs.  Exhaustion.  General pains too.  Not a good day.  Why?  I don't know.  Still, I hoped I would be able to get trash and recycling out.

After finishing those things, feeding Sassy, and a few minor things, I had to sit for a while.  Yes, I... started sleeping again.  But, something woke me?  Yes, something.  What is a good question.  A door slamming close enough to cause immediate alertness?  Some other sound?  A memory flash?  I don't know.  I only know I became awake, fully, quickly.

Feeling odd.

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Even so, I did get a shower taken, wounds bandaged, and at least into pj's so that if I can get the trash and recycling collected, I can get it out.  But completely exhausted.  Not sure what the problem is.  No food for too long?  Three days, I think, now?  Hmm, I might have yogurt, and some canned fruit.  That might help?  Because otherwise I don't think I'll get to those chores.

Again with the shorter compression socks.  Toeless.  Just not ready for the heavy duty stuff, even of the shorter style.  But this is doing okay.  Weight was down to 232.3 or such.  I think the recent high was 238.x, after not using compression for an extended period, and not taking heart medicine... waterpills anyway.  So... this... is an improvement.  I'll take it, and try to keep going with it.

Ribs hurt.  A bit sore and tired.  Ugh.  I'll keep at things anyway.  I hope.

Better get some food in, to try to push through.  Or I'll be late.  Later.

Up rather early.

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Sort of fair enough.  I went to bed pretty early.  Giving me ten hours of sleep.  More than I usually take, but things have been irregular lately.  Healing costs a little extra sleep, or does for me.  A little or a lot, depending on the day.  No pain lately, or nothing persistent, or even anything I can sense without thinking about it.  It's been a nice reprieve after several weeks of nauseating pain.  Still nauseated, but not from pain.  Just from the thought of food.

I checked blood sugar last night.  It was really high, 304.  That was milk.  I got another gallon of milk, to try to help with food.  Ended up drinking the milk, but skipping the chicken.  Even drinking the milk was an effort.  Won't do it again, both because it wasn't a pleasure and because of the blood sugar bump.  It is 261 fasting, and will come on back down if I stick to water, carnivore.

Did and didn't.

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Technically, I didn't go to bed.  No nap, or extended sleep.  However, most of the time I have been awake, I have been... sleeping?  Something close to it.  Wow.  Yea.

I haven't been in pain.  I didn't feel sleepy.  I just haven't really been awake.  Which is fine.  I'm about to head on up to bed now.

Some problem with blogger.

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Posting comments is proving difficult.  For other people and myself.

Someone posted a comment recently.  But couldn't get it through to the post intended.  So, they put it on another post.  I tried to respond.  And was told that I had reached comment limits for the day.  I can see why google removed the "don't be evil", or similar, statement.

So, if you are having trouble posting?  It's google, pretty much, being evil.

I'll respond when I can, if I can.

Heat is on.

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It was starting to get a bit cool.  So I turned the furnace back on.  It went to 70.  I turned it up to 72 then put it on hold... otherwise it shuts down at night.  I'm not sure when though.  Hmm... I might take it off hold, see how that works.  I want it off at night, these days.  That's just about perfect.

The compression socks are doing okay.  Not hurting too much.  Not too hot.  All sorts of issues with these things.  A problem one day, one way, a solution to other problems the next day.  Sort of a tricky thing.  Do your best, alter, change, figure, such is life.

I love beating the alarm clock.

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By six minutes this morning.  If I had hoped to be awake earlier, this will do.  I woke at 4:30?  Around there.  But could not compel myself to wake.  I did put in effort.  To be honest, I had to shove to get up and out now.  Have a little headache for it.

Fed Sassy first thing.  It's 64 in the front room.  Probably won't turn the furnace on, up, until or unless I start feeling the icy grip of cool, cold, and feel that sleep might become necessary otherwise.  Always a risk I'll just crash when that happens, by the time I notice.  But... okay.

Unexpected.

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Well, not... a lot.  I am still awake, here at 18:23.  Though, in part because I have been wrestling with the computer.  Couldn't post, or do much.  Could watch vids.  Figured it out, am back.

As well, my mother called today.  Not sure if she meant to call someone else, hit my number by accident, and just went with it.  Or if it was intentional.  Not a long talk.

A bit surprised.

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It is 11:32 and I am still awake.  I don't feel the want, or need, to sleep.  Perfect?  No, but good, good enough.  The pains and aches that exist are mild.  No true exhaustion is present, if just a bit... mildly... sleepy.  More like what I once considered a typical mid to late afternoon, or early evening.

A time of relaxation.  Though, with capacity to do things, if needed.  Just... not a preference for such.  In part it is because I turned the furnace up.

Well, awake before six.

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I think just slightly after five?  I think so.  Still so tired, I couldn't remember the time, in spite of looking at it, over and over in an attempt to remember.  It's 6:25, and I am still very tired.

Looking at vids, so far.  I thought I had posted my first blog piece for the day, but no.  No, I hadn't.  Strange.  Must have dreamed it.  Yes, still tired enough to be dreaming while sitting here.  So strange.

Good and bad.

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The bad?  I can't seem to get enough sleep.  Tired, exhausted, always on the edge of falling back to sleep.  Or, when sleeping, just staying in bed and sleeping more.  Usually, if I feel the need to sleep, I just... go on and sleep.  Fighting it is nearly impossible.  However, I am becoming frustrated with that.  But, it is good too.  Because, while I need to sleep?  I can sleep.  What is horrible is needing or desperately wanting to sleep, but not being able to sleep.  Life becomes... thin, shall I say, when that happens.

As well, another good, is that pain has diminished.  Oh, I still have an ache in this joint, or a fiery flare up in that wound or this.  But, just... little bits of pain.  Which come and go of their own accord, in short order.  Pain has been minor the last day, maybe two.  A gift, after the last week before it, which was sweet, sweet, agony, if you are a masochist.  For good or ill, I'm not.

Ugh.

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I have been up since around six.  But I am crashing so hard I don't think I'll make it long.  Why so tired?  I can't say.

I took heart medicine.  I have had a few smaller meals.  I have been getting fluid in.  Further, I have been clearing the... deck... so to speak.  Going to the bathroom, clearing out well.  I had probably blocked up for a bit.  With sleeping so much, pain, and irregular eating.

Sleep was fantastic.

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Cooler, but, again, I used the electric blanket.  To prevent overheating this time, I cut the heat and length of time.  Splendid results.  I got just warm enough, and then with the blankets set rightly, stayed just so through the night.

Now, as to dreams.  I dreamed of having sex, over and over and over.  Different women.  I tried to stop.  When I suggest I aim to be celibate, that includes in dreams, if I am aware.  And I was very aware.  I ended a few dreams, but at some point just... gave up.  Strange thing was, the women I had "sent away" from earlier dreams?  Got back in line.  *grins*  I wasn't going to get any sleep until I... until the dreams were done.

True agony.

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Not sure why the wound sites are carrying on so.  Debriding, at this point, may just be too much.  I think I will be delaying the next process for a couple of weeks.  Looking before going even then.  Is half their job to push people out, causing enough pain that they don't come back?  That is... part of the process?

Brutal.  My leg has been killing me since the topical wore off.  I changed bandaging, that did nothing.  Asleep or awake, the pain is just too much.  I am out of my milder form of lidocaine.  There is amazon, but they take a week to three weeks these days..  Just... if I can find it local, that would be much better.  I think I looked.  It seems more expensive, but isn't that much more expensive after amazon adds whatever, and assuming what you get from amazon is legit.  On anything you are wanting, that is compounded or chemically patented, you have, I would say, a 50/50 chance.  Even then you may pay too much.

Now?

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Finally, yes, I think so.  Tired.  I have been crashing for hours.  Since noon, though really before.  It's almost 15:00.  Will be before I am tucked in and sleeping.  Water, I did have more.  Needed more.  Several days without really got to me.  There was coffee, but that doesn't handle thirst well.  It's, the way I use it, a way to get a bit of fat, a few calories, in.  And, maybe caffeine.

I've been dreaming, right here.  Women, again.  Lots of dreams.  I'll put up some music later?  Maybe.  Geeze.  As I said, I might be an apex predator.  But... women hunt me.  And... they really do.  Even in my dreams.  It's... just... with them... sometimes?  I don't mind.

Hot, cold, so on.

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Amazing.  I slept so well, last night, once I got warmed up.  The electric blanket, Sassy, and myself, had a wonderful night.  I woke for a bit, this morning.  Then went on back to bed.  Sassy was warm enough, so came on down and rested down here.  All good.

My wounds began aching, for the warmth?  I think so.  Then I cooled off this morning.  But... then they started hurting because they were too cool!  Argh!  I'm... about to go on back to bed for a while.  Warm up.

Awake for a bit.

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I woke around midnight thirty.  Just... because.  Wounds were hurting.  A bit of an upset stomach.  But somewhat rested, too.  Some water was wanted, and I thought I'd look around the world, see what was up.  If anything had happened since I went to bed.

Still haven't looked around much.  Was looking at vid feeds.  Found one that made me laugh.  Reminded me of the last few days of being out.  Mostly mares out, during the day.  And... I'm not a mare, so... there... are... actions and reactions.  Oh, I had to laugh.

A couple of right things.

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Wasn't sure I could do compression yet.  Only one way to find out?  That's what I was thinking.  And?  And, so far, if a bit sore, so good.  I may take it off shortly.  It's... starting to chafe that side, the bruise.  Well, and it's... just... tight.  Should squeeze some of the juice out of the old lemon...or am I lime.  And, get me ready for it again, tomorrow.

Yes, I'll... take it off shortly.

A nice morning.

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It was cooler.  After feeding Sassy her third time... of six to eight small feedings... I checked the thermostat reading.  It was 66.  Now, that's not terrible, but I don't want to be cool.  Not while finishing healing.  Warmth really helps.  Or, at least just not cool/cold.

Up to 72.  But I'll shut it off, again, overnight.  I don't mind going from 61 upstairs, to 66 downstairs, then warming the house from there.  Usually I can do that.  Unless I flat out feel like I've been run over, hurt so much I can't think... remember.  And just live in miserable coldness for a while, as I did a day or two ago, and for two days.  Bah!

Awake.

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The rest was very good.  Sleep really.  I left the windows open, upstairs.  closing the downstairs door though.  It stayed around 61?  Well, that was the temperature when I woke up.  Perfect sleeping weather, if too cool for daily driving as one might say.  The furnace is still off downstairs, but the windows are closed.  It is 65 in this front room, which is the coolest room in the downstairs.  But that is... pleasant.

Coffee, going down.  After feeding Sassy.  I'll fetch her fresh water before long, and clear her litter box.  I am doing slightly better with that latter, but have stayed up on food and water pretty well, even when tangled in a bent and ripped body.  It was remembering the litter box tending, then limping over there, that wasn't happening as it should have been.

To the office.

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I thought it was an early appointment.  Better to get it wrong that way than the other way.  So, back home for a bit.  I just couldn't hang out in town for four or five hours.

Back, on time.  So tired though.

It's still rough.

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Mostly just from being tired?  I think so.  Sleepy, and more.  No energy, nothing really going.  Which is fine.  I thought the warmth would help a bit.  Truth is, I went too long too cold.  It will take several days of warming, sleeping more, and probably getting back on the feed bag.

Which means, today or tomorrow, I need to get more chicken.  That stuff really helps.  More if of the smaller drumsticks, less if of the bigger ones.  And, another gallon of milk, plus water.  I went through the milk too fast, without having anything else to drink.  Definitely more water.

Ribs are a little pained.  But, as I may have mentioned?  I have lost between eight and ten inches around my chest since Thanksgiving.  While that is good, wonderful really?  It also means my shape has changed exceptionally dramatically.  And it hurts.  Pretty much all the time, save when sleeping.

I'll keep at it.  Keep trying to push through.  Sleeping when possible, taking meds, eating, resting.  I've got a lot of changes, from healing to weight loss, going on.  Weight was 235 this morning.  Since I was taking a shower, I thought I'd check.  I would say everything over 225 is water, and maybe more.  I haven't been able to wear compression socks or else for longer than a few hours, and just that once recently.  Until I can put compression back on, I'm sort of stuck at this weight.

I may ask the doctor for stronger lidocaine when next we talk.  I just... can't... well... I can't even keep up with the bandaging, at this rate.  That is without compression.  And, I need compression.  Ugh.  We'll see.  I don't want anything more, just topical.  I have over the counter, and that is as strong as I will allow otherwise.  I think there was a sideways offer for more.  Which I turned down flatly.  Won't touch anything stronger than over the counter stuff.

I keep thinking it will warm up.  It did warm up.  Then... not so much.  It just isn't going to warm up, again, for a while.  Which is fine... now that I have the furnace back to it, the house closed up.  Anyway, later or goodnight.

Ah!?!

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I sorted some of the problem.  I have left the house open, furnace off, for some time.  I hadn't been checking the temps.  But, tonight, while changing the batteries in my furnace interface, I noticed.  At 61 F, it... is cold.  Too cold.  Not comfortable.  Great for sleeping, painful to be awake in.

So I shut up the downstairs, turned up the furnace, and am starting to just now feel better.  This front room, near the computer, was 64... due to all the heat given off.  It is now 67.  While not hot, it is definitely better.

Oh, yes, much better.  That was the problem, or a part of it.  When trying to heal, always keep the place a bit warmer.  If it goes cold, beside the normal problems, healing can come to a screeching halt... unless it is really hot out, then the cool can help.  Though, even then, when healing, I have generally found that being too warm is better than being even a bit cold.

Good, good.

About to get some coffee.  Something to eat?  No, the chicken, I think, is too old.  I don't have else.  I don't want to eat.  Not hungry?  Nausea?  Several strikes against eating.  Even coffee is pushing it, but it's the warmth I want from that.

Hopefully a better day, now that I have sorted that out.  Oh, and a shower should be a lot easier.  Later.

Staying rough.

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In some ways.  My stomach is causing problems.  Upset?  Bloat?  Managing bad blood from wounds?  I... just don't know.  It feels bruised, upset, sore.

The old wound, on my leg, has troubled me off and on through the night.  Sometimes making life just plain difficult.  The other wounds came in next.  I think the old wound is the worst of it, if irregular.  The stomach problems are what has caused the most consistent problems.  The other wounds just ache, or hurt, from time to time.

Sort of a rough day?

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Yes, sort of.  It wasn't as bad as the worst I have had in this last week.  It was never good though.  Always rough, hard, on the edges.  Pain or numbness, never just... a "normal" day.  Hungry, but not really willing to eat.  Thirsty, but not able to drink as I would have liked.  Some aches, the old wound acted up for a bit.  The lessor, nearly healed wounds, still hurt.

On the good side, the roadrash, while still causing serious pain occasionally, other than the knee-cap wound, are doing really well.  Not so much layers of crusts, but more whole skin.  Sure, a bit red still.  But, my hand?  I had initially needed a six by six bandage (with a four by four pack under) and a four by four (with a two by two gauze pack under the sticky stuff).  Now I can cover the whole of what remains of the damage with a four by four.  It actually, looking at it and thinking back, amazes even me.  How did that much skin come back.  There is only about a fifty cent piece equivalent that looks like it might have been damaged.  The rest of the lost skin is back, and even looks normal.

A friend, with... concerns.

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Perhaps I am too old to ride.  In... some ways?  Maybe he is correct.  More regarding concentration.  The... concern... about my suffering, damage?  Not so much.

I have tried to explain that my healing is more akin to that of an exceedingly healthy child.  Large patches of skin have been replaced in weeks.  Bruising which was expected to take a year to heal will be gone in two months.  Twists and kinks, which in the first place should have been breaks, are nearly back to normal.

Not too bad.

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Not perfectly as planned.  The idea was to be to bed right in there around 22:30.  I didn't get to bed until about 00:30.  I set the alarms from six and eight, or really just initiated them.  They were already set.  Hoping to beat the alarms, and I did.  It' just at 5:24 after starting chicken to heating, feeding Sassy, and such.

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Good, good.  A bite to eat, some water, coffee, and back to it.  Well, had to refill the water jugs and do a few other things.  And watched a few vids while at it.  The Oatman family massacre...  I remember seeing pictures of the surviving sister, but either forgot, or never quite got to, the story of how she ended up with tattoos.  Now I know... or... know what someone says on the matter.

---------

Probably back to bed.

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.

I have hurt all through the night.  Not as terribly as the other day.  But about what I had been going through yesterday.  That had seemed tolerable.  And, comparably to the day before, it was.  However, at some point it became too much.  And it remains too much.

I'll take some painpills, then go on back to bed.  Hopefully it will kick back a notch or two.  Ribs, joints, and the minor wound sites, are conspiring to pound me into the sand.  And doing a good job.

A lot better.

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.

Well, pain hasn't changed.  But it was, and is, tolerable.  Food was good.  Coffee has been pleasant.  Medicine has gone down, if I think I need a final night dose.

The house has remained a bit open.  Last I checked it was down to 48 outside, but is still 65 at least in this front room.  I'll crack another window on the far side of the room as I go to bed upstairs.  Really, nice to have some fresh air.

Mostly good.

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.

Chicken, milk, and coffee.  Out of water.  I'll have to get more of that, when I can.

The pain from the old wound is either extremely numbed or simply relieved one way or another.  Not even the echoes which had been present.  However, the roadrash areas, the left ankle (I think from overuse as the other mends), the right knee as a joint and because of the torn skin, and the left shoulder... probably from using that to try to rise, and roll while sleeping, are all... giving me a heck of an ache.

What a dark day.

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.

I eventually got to bed, probably shortly after that last post.  Very shortly.  The pain was coming and going before going to bed.  And after.  With intensity I just don't understand.  Quiet agony, writhing.  Mostly the old wound, but the knee, elbow for some unknown reason, even the closed and nearly closed roadrash areas.  

Everything hurt, off and on, sometimes in single servings powerful enough to buckle, cripple, me... for short bits.  Sometimes I could sleep for a while.  Sometimes all I could do is silently scream and just hold on.  What was I holding onto?  It was like trying to keep my body cohesive, together, as if squeezing, tightening, muscles and whatnot could help with the pain.

Almost made it?

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.

Dairy should be here shortly.  But I am absolutely fried.  I pushed as long as I could.  Now I absolutely must sleep, or try.

Hoping the pain doesn't return on the way up, or while tucking in.  For the moment I feel... absolutely numb.  Natural painkillers have kicked in.  Which is part of why I am crashing?  Oh, everything still hurts, down in there.  Like the knee, and the main wound site, but... the pain isn't going all the way to the brain.

Even the ribs aren't sneaking past, the pain, mostly.  Goodnight.

Rough.

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.

The heaviest of the pain is just now... settling.  Not even gone, not going, just... a little less.  The knee hurts too, twisted.  Don't know if spasms were twisting it, or what.  It's not as bad as the main pain, but is heavy enough to add a strong second dose of minor agony.  I haven't hurt this bad, in several places, in a while.

The new bandaging has given me some breathing room.  To be honest, that is what I'll be using, unless I can get something that soothes those ragged edges while bandaging they way they want it done.

That just wasn't going to happen.

.

.

Beside the pain, rolling and tossing means I kept ending up on my bruise.  Once in a while, now, is fine.  But flipping and flopping like a fish on a line out of water was begging to really damage that?  Or at least make it feel more uncomfortable than it has to point.  No.

As to the pain?  I bandaged the area again.  Leaving everything else, the packing and such, as is.  That... didn't work.  So I pulled that dressing, pulled the packing too, then reset it.  It is finally easing up, but even then just now, an hour later?  Or more?  Or less.  I just can't tell.  But it is getting better.

I've done what I can.

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.

The pain is ramping up again.  I sent a few texts, to sort things out.  I am becoming ill, on top of the increase in pain.  Exhausted too, somehow.

I had a few pieces of chicken.  Wanted coffee, but it just isn't... going to help.  I have to go to bed.  My chest hurts, now, too.  From shrinking in pain?  Something.  Holding my breath too long?  Hopefully, sleep will be available, and will help.

I just can't stay up any longer.  Good day and goodnight.

Yes, still hurts.

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.

Instead of being a steady, horrifying, rolling, thundering, pulsing yet static as well, group of pains and little horrors, it's just, mostly, a slow rolling aching with an underlying sense of having been on fire.  It's not a good one.  It certainly was worse, it has definitely been better.  Still silent screaming, or thereabouts, from time to time.  The ache will just cut right through any ability to restrain.  Better, thought hoping for much better, and sooner than later.  I'm taking more painpills.

Strangely, it isn't just the main, old, wound.  But that is the most powerful center for pain.  The wrist hurts a bit, and the knee hurts more, in both places.  Not sure what is up with this today.

More silent screaming.

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.

Getting the bandages off was easy enough.  Even clearing the big wound of the honey packing went pretty good.  Washing it out a couple of times?  All good.  Putting the stuff back in, for whatever reason, is causing levels of agony I can't well describe.

No, no compression.  Wool socks.  But without wool socks, that wound gets cold, and hurts even worse.  No, have to have to wool socks, but can't do anything else.  I am hoping, within the hour, that the pain will subside.  Currently, it is waves of absolutely horrible pain.

Ah! The wound area cleaner arrived.

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.

Packets, like alcohol squares.  Only no alcohol.  It really cleans the area, the skin, so that the bandaging sticks, but without being as painful to remove.  I only had enough to use it for the old wound.  And, that... was mostly okay.  The hand and knee wounds aren't as serious.

It still stings to remove the bandaging, and doing it twice a day usually means I need to start the removal process in different areas, day to day.  Still will continue that, but am hoping the removal will be easier.  And, for the old wound site, I may try to use one of these for when lifting off the bandage.  That one in on for days at a time, and really sticks.  Once it gets going, it usually, mostly, comes off okay.  I'm just looking for a little easier way.

Dreams?

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.

Oh, aye.  Not... all of them will be all that exciting.  Or... not the first one.

While the first dream wasn't exactly on this type, it did involve various general and specific slide rules.  I just liked this vid.  I don't remember all of the dream, but it involved naval navigation, from the view of a submarine, plus general mathematic calculations, and some volume, titration, and other calculations.  Why would I dream of that?  Because... I like these things.

When did I go to bed?

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.

Long after I intended, that is all I am sure.  Several hours, four, six, hours after planned.  I just couldn't go to bed.  I kept thinking about changing the bandaging.  And... the more I thought of it, the more I got caught in some kind of loop.  I feared even touching it, yet my mind was pushing me to just get to it.  And... in that loop, I got stuck.

Fine.  Now, I never did mess with the main wound.  But I did the little wounds as I was crawling in to bed.  And, this morning as I was getting out.  The smallest one, on the knee, had a dime, half dime maybe, sized scab.  I was sure it was time for that to come off.  In retrospect, probably not so much.  But it's done.

Good, good.

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.

Wasn't sure if it was Friday, this morning, or Saturday.  Up too many double days in a row, but with a few not?  I mean, most of this week, I awoke on one day, and went to bed on another.  But not all days.  So... being certain isn't a surety.  All good.

No, I didn't get a shower in.  Just... too tired.  And afraid, of redoing the patch.  Just... not yet.  Wow, just from thinking about it (?), I got as if a shock through it.  It doesn't want to be touched.  I don't want to touch it.  But... I will.  Probably when I wake, later in the day.

No, go ahead.

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.

Tell me what you really think.

A bit of humor to start?  Sort of?  As... close as it gets?  *wink*

Not just a nap.

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Had hoped.  It just...  I woke, several times.  Could not crawl out of bed.  I tried, pushed, pulled.  Just... no.  Even now, I'm not sure I am up.  I did want to feed Sassy.  She has been patient.  I try to do fair by her.

Dreaming of women, again.  But this time, the... proximity alarm would have gone off.  Wow.  Drowning in flowers?  Something like that.  I sucked my thumb later than most.  It... was a nervous tic thing.  I am guessing, this is that's replacement?  Well, not just nervous.  If in pain, when unsure, lots of things.  Sex... just replaced that roll.  And, yes, I'm in pain, still.

A good morning.

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But it's over.  No great pain.  No struggles.  Haven't had a shower yet.  Medicine was taken.  Food was eaten.  Blood sugar is, was 182 fasting.  Not the best, but lower than the mid to lower-mid 200s.  The coffee trick is helping.  But, really, the breading is going to keep blood sugar elevated.  If too, pain will.  I can count on over 200, no matter what else, if I have so much pain I silently scream.  Yesterday, the day before.  Surprised they didn't hit into the 300s.  Or did they?

Two pieces of chicken, and two tablespoons of slaw, makes for a perfect meal.  Two to three times a day.  Just enough to kick healing into high gear, satisfy my simple hungers, and keep everything... moving.  I may add a gallon of milk, per week, for the next two weeks.

Dreams.

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.

Women.  All night.  No, not sex.  Damnit!  But... just missed by >.< that much?  I slept with women all night.  Though, I have to admit, that wasn't bad either.  Such strange creatures.  Playful, painful, loving, angry, needy, disinterested, you never know if what is being presented is real, believed by her to be real, or a ploy.  We... ployed... all night.

Life can be so good, even when... you can't quite get what you are sure you want?

Sleeping awake.

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I tried to push through.  To put something together, for another post.  Midnight?  I must have slept for hours, and hours.  Or... just... been a blink that side of awareness?  Not sure.

Dreaming of women.  Pretty much just... how most guys dream of them.  I even tried to avoid it.  When I suggest I am celibate, that's not... because I can't.  It's because I don't want to... be otherwise.  So, it perturbs me when I dream of their form, feel, scent, and such.  Annoying.  And... yet not.

Looking for tea.

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.

Things in the basket, will be reviewed later.  Some things were just not right, too expensive, with carbs, or... with other problems.  Some things are a maybe.  Though, really, I'm in no rush.  I get, or used to get, a better tea catalogue.  I'll wait a while for it, and... if one doesn't arrive, go looking for the company.

Not... anything... exactly right.  I found hibiscus, in raw form, give or take.  It wouldn't make a good tea, with my wants, by itself.  But, in a reasonable oolong, or white tea?  It might really do well.  Not sure it would do well with black or green tea, really.  Though, with other aromatic florals and herbals?  Trying to avoid fruits, even flavoring.  That probably means it has sugars in it.

Better.

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.

Just... on the other side.  Just on a smoother less painful track.  Still slightly fevered, mostly I think a remnant of the pain.  I'd like to take the wool socks off.  But I know, as soon as I do that, the wound will be attacked by the cold, and thrum and ache as if freshly hit, or opened, or such.  While... that is wonderful, for masochists?  I... just don't happen to be a masochist.  Nor sadist, just not to my taste.

I can suffer it, when needed, sometimes.  It... takes a few days, to get to it, to get over the last bit so as to move on to more.  But I... did get it unpacked, then at least covered, until I could finally clean and repack it.  I... was surprised I wimped out so harshly this time.  But the pain was just a bit beyond my ability to... work through.  Or... quickly.  I got through it.

Awake, in fever and pain.

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The electric blanket was still on.  I thought it would help with the pain.  I think I simply aggravated the wound site too much, with immediate compression.  At some point, the thick wool sock on that foot had been taken off.  Though I can't remember if that happened right before waking or even if just shortly after falling asleep.  I do know I fell asleep in an expedited hurry.

I slept well, if not long?  It was after thirteen, but not even close to fourteen hundred, maybe a quarter after.  Up at, give or take seventeen to thirty after.

What a trip.

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Time has just... gone.  Two, three hours?  I... just can't be sure.  The pain is still there.  But I can't feel it.  Wow.  So high.  It wasn't the painpills.  It's some natural agents blunting everything.  Unlike with narcotics, the natural stuff doesn't make me feel... hungover, out of sorts, just... numb... and a little groggy.

I think I'll try to go on to bed.  I had more food earlier, but couldn't eat now if I wanted.  Not nauseous still, or anything like that.  Not sure I'd remember to swallow the food.  Wow.  Nice.  should sleep well.  And dream well.  Women on my mind.  Fifteen years of celibacy, bad enough health I should have been down decades ago, and I still think about women?  Yeah.

God... made some of us... differently.  Goodnight.

Improving?

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.

I went with it open, save the bandaging, for just a bit.  But the cold was making it ache.  Not... quite as bad, but ache, hurt, a lot.  So, thick wool socks on.  Helping?  Slowly.  Oh my word, that was absolute agony.  Now it's just simple agony?  I'm hoping the painpills do a bit more.

In either case, as soon as I think I can sleep, I'll go on up.  Probably turn the electric blanket on, just to give me a little extra warmth, right off the bat.

Silent screams.

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.

The shower was easier than I thought.  Even washing the wounds.  No problems.  Binding the knee, cleaning the old wound with saline and sterile gauze, both went well.  Packing the old wound with the honey poultice and adding the packing bandage went really well.  I thought that part would hurt.

Now... putting compression socks back on?  Silent screams.  That was finished ten minutes ago, and it's still as if I poured some gas in, and lit it.  I... will give it more time to settle, next time.  But I did need compression.  My legs are bloating, and I'm adding a good deal of water weight again.  But... I... can let the bandage and honey goo settle a bit first, next time.  Oh my word.

Just couldn't sleep.

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It's almost a quarter to seven.  Still not really quite ready for bed.  Keep hoping I can get that shower in, clean out the wound.  I have the real bandaging off, and got the honey poultice out.  And I have a smaller patch bandage on, for the moment.  But I really need to wash that out and redo that with the good stuff, the right bandaging, and such.  It just... hurts... a lot... to tinker with that.

I didn't nearly pass out messing with it.  Actually, I... really nearly did.  Why?  Not sure.  But it was harder, this time.  Maybe I wimped out, maybe this was different in some way, or... something else?  But... the hope is to get the shower in today, wash that out, and wash the other wounds.  Plus just clean up.  Then pack the wound back up.

More chicken.

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Drumsticks, again.  But from a different deli, town.  These drumsticks are huge!  Must have been the biggest lesbian hens around.  Probably stole the supply from KFC?  Seriously, I have never seen drumsticks this big.

Now, to be honest?  I liked the skinnier ones.  Perhaps because one of the finest spices remained, no matter how much was eaten off the bone... hunger.  Yes, hunger is a spice.

Teacher gave me her imprimatur.

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Eh, musical in form.  But... twice, recently.  I think she liked the output.

Oh?  Fine.  Here.

Sleep was very good.

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I finally slept as I needed.  Longer?  I... just don't remember.  A few texts woke me, in the early afternoon.  But, okay.  I wouldn't have been awaken by them if I wasn't ready.  Something about more chicken.  Oh, that stuff is helping.  I'll tell you, even if it isn't perfect food, more if it is higher in protein, with some good fat... or even bad probably in this case, while healing it is absolutely a good thing.

That bruise has, I would say, gone to a third of what it was a week ago?  Or am I just... imagining it?  I... will find out when I go in.  They measured the thing, the first time they saw it.  And I would guess that was at, or nearly at, peak size.  As well, the 'flat tire' around my waist, from weight loss?  Was full of blood.  It looked like a storm, going over an equator.  Dark, lots of it, probably a six inch band, give or take depending.  All of that is gone.  Even the bruising on top of the bump is pretty much gone, mostly.

I knew that had a...

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.

certain... ring to it?  Well, and some others popped.

I had to listen to it first.  Then, not only did it make sense, but all the followers songs and vids.  Right, right, I... get it.

Hungry, but...

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Just can't get to things, not quite yet.  Food is coming, but not until tomorrow.  After frequent days of not eating, while trying to heal, it was getting complicated.  Oh, sure, I can make it.  For days, even weeks.  I did.  Until the brisket, then chicken, I had gone five or six days with nothing.  Well, fatted coffee, one a day.  Can't do too much of that without else.  It's just too much.

Then I remembered.  Brisket!  I had put a third, maybe a quarter, of what was brought, into the freezer.  I had chowed down the rest.  I had to thaw it, then warm it a bit more.  But it worked well.  I am amazed at how well that came out of the freezer.  One, probably pound, piece?  There are two more slices that thick, if I cut it.  Maybe in a bit.  Rich.  A bit... much, at the moment.  But it will cover me through the rest of today, and should I happen to have craving tomorrow.

I was wondering if that was real.

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I ended up being awake very late.  Between the aches, pain, joint problems, and such?  I just couldn't get to sleep.  Or... not bed sleep.  Not even always chair sleep.  But... some... sort of sleep.  It was hard.  Couldn't be awake, couldn't actually sleep.  Some foggy strange place between, where dreams and reality mixed into some strange place.

I'll... review it.  If it looks too... too much, I'll pull it.  Or not.  It was just a dream, I think, if I can't remember what it was about.  Some... woman.  Oh... and some vids popped that... yeah.  Yes indeed.  Things I had forgotten.

What a dream.

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I hadn't realized I had fallen asleep.  Down here, sitting in my chair.  How long was I asleep?  Dreams can be fast, but doesn't the body need to feel secure, in order to dream?  When I woke, I definitely didn't feel secure.  So... maybe not.

A woman.  A question.  I sort of liked her, in... that way.  Not really reciprocated.  No matter.  That is the way it usually is.  Though not always until it is too late, for her?  Odd how that can often work.

I'm not a believer.

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.

Did our leaders know Pearl Harbor was going to be attacked, and allow it to happen?

For me, that isn't the question.  To me?  I am positive they knew, and allowed, and could have intervened.

My questions?  Were they right?  By warning Pearl Harbor commands, or allowing them to act on the warnings?  They would have let the Japanese know, or begin suspecting, we had cracked their codes.  Or... even more.  That we had moles in their government, possibly their Emperor himself, or those acting on his direct command, given protection.

Before going on to bed...

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I decided to replace the glasses which were damaged in the accident.  I may be able to fix them.  But?  But, they were a lessor pair of glasses.  I wasn't sure, when they were ordered, if they would work.  Having had problems with progressive lenses before.

Now, in that order, I went with a larger size lens (though you can never tell, until they are in hand) and a medium weight lens.  Dropping to the lowest weight lenses added about a hundred dollars.  Which, I don't know about you, but... it's... a lot of money for me.

Maybe on back to bed.

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.

I had hoped to get a shower in.  But I don't think so.  I am just not ready.  And... pains and aches and such are back.  Why?  I can't say.  It doesn't even make sense.  It is, really, as good a day as I have had in a while.  I have been being careful... when getting up, when feeding Sassy, and doing other things.

I have been keeping efforts to a reasonable minimum.  Only doing a new task once every half hour to hour.  Sitting up, staying covered and warm.  Doing everything I can to make life easier.  It just doesn't matter.

Sleep helped.

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A reset, to how I felt before tinkering with the bandage.  A bite to eat, coffee, water, to restart the day... into midafternoon.  Things still ache.  And most of what hurt before.  But all at a low rumble, and often all can be ignored.  Just noticed when something gets bumped, jostled, or flares up a bit.

A shower, sometime later?  I hope so.  But I'm not in a hurry.  Coffee, through the next hour or two.

I had been feeling better?

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.

The aches, joints, and things, had all gotten down to a low roar.  I could mostly ignore them.  Good enough to get up, I thought.  I figured if I snuck downstairs, and just... had some coffee, relaxed, read, listened, I'd... find a nice little piece of morning.

Things were going swimmingly.  I took my time getting up.  Noooo need to rush, and bumble, bump, or twist something.  Slow and easy.  Nice.  Ah... I made it up onto my bench perch.  Found my underlayers.  Decided to bandage the knee, looks like I lost that during the night.  Slow and easy.

Good, but tired.

.

.

There are still a few aches, pains, and such.  All rather mild.  The thing is, I am cold, and tired... sleepy.

I fed Sassy.  Wanted to stay awake, to feed her again, but I don't think I'll make it.  I'll sleep, as long as is needed, then feed her when I wake again.

Some things they use...

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Some things docs suggest I use.  Some things not so much.  One thing I have really liked is the stuff they use to clean the skin before putting down bandaging... of several sorts.  No alcohol.  But, apparently it doesn't induce infection, might prevent it?  Dunno.  Just know it works really well.

I went looking, today.  Had to go find one.  They included a few for my wound care.  On the bigger, older, wound.  I just want some more.  Not only does it seem to help the bandage stick, keep infection out, but it makes removing the bandaging a lot easier.

One of those mornings.

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.

Things hurt, but not too terribly.  Tired?  Groggy?  Foggy of mind?  Yes, that is the bigger difficulty.

I woke at about 11:30.  Sassy jumped on my midsection.  I caught her.  She thought she was in trouble, and could have, should have been?  That's the first time she's been such a little shit in a very long time.

Better.

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Honestly, I think the acetaminophen is what is helping.  I wouldn't have thought, by the instructions and indications, it would do anything.  Having given up on the other otc stuff, I didn't have much choice.  Or... not here at home.

Oh, it's not perfect.  Just better.  And, with some things, a lot better.  The elbow twist and funny bone thing?  The forward, frontal, shoulder joints?  All very much better.  The knee is still rough, both the twist and the wounds.  The ankle is still a bit tight, but not as bad as it has been.  The ribs?  Getting worse as other things get better.  I think pain is triaged.  If something(s) get better, enough better, an old wound or hurt may step back in to claim it's spot.

All of my bandages.

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They all arrived, as with some home necessities.  I have a year, or two, of tp.  But when I see a good price, as I am finishing off a pack, I order.  Same with garbage bags, little or big.  I need more big, but just got a pack last month.  Oh... I check local prices.  What cost me $14 would have cast me $20 locally.  Sometimes it's cheaper, and I will buy locally if so, or if need exceeds savings.  Surprisingly, the blood sugar test strips arrived.  Glad to have those.  Will... start testing, again, Monday or Tuesday.

The bandages are very nice.  I have plenty of 6"x6" island bandages.  But don't need them that big.  Initially, those just fit my double wound sites on my wrist and knee.  Now I just need, say, possibly, 3"x3" or 4"x4", or even maybe a 2"x1" block, for the three wounds that remain.  And I am hoping they stay on better.

Oh, still rough.

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Not as bad as last night, for now.  Not exactly ready to go play soccer or such, either.  Why it hurts so bad lately, I can't say.  Wet, cool, weather has moved in.  Maybe that makes things worse?  My mother said, for her, she knows when it is coming in for the pain she feels from it.  I've not had that problem, but then, I haven't had so many healing processes on mend at once.

I haven't broken a bone, as well, I don't think I have twisted legs are arms all that bad.  Maybe a really light sprain, from time to time.  Limping around, a bit, for months.  Whatever the case, this is miserable.  And hurts in so many places at once.  I can only imagine those folk who get ripped up really badly, tossed around even more, break this and that and the other bone.  This... is quite enough.  I'll admit that.

I'll try again.

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Everything that could hurt, did, has been... all night.  And each in every way possible.  The wounds... hurt as open sores, as bruises, and other things.  The twisted joints hurt as such, as bruises, as swollen places, and every movement has been agony.  Tonight is a special sort of hurt.

If this is some sort of price, I pay it gladly.  If it will help, directly, or through sympathy or empathy, with those in purgatory?  All good.  I... don't mind.  It's just that I haven't been able to sleep for it all.  Painpills have done absolutely nothing.  Which... is fine.

Ignored?

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.

Not so much.  I sent a text earlier.  Heard nothing back.  It got later, and later, and... I realized my phone was on airplane mode.  So I turned it off.

I'm not sure how these things work, and they seem to change from time to time.  This time, the text self-started, sent itself.  So I ended up chatting, off and on, for several hours.

Bedtime?

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I can hope.  Fevered?  Chilled?  Both?  I... just can't say.  Though it feels like both.

And... everything has hurt everywhere, for most of this afternoon.

Pain.

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Aches, wounds, sore areas, upset internals, nausea, and so much more.  New pains?  Sure, I didn't break anything.  But I really did hurt myself.  The last of the pains are coming out?  Or... hopefully.  Then again, the wrist was what I thought would be the last new thing.  It's... just not.

My shoulders.  The front roll to them?  These started hurting this morning.  I didn't realize what it was at first, only that something new was hurting.  So... I... just rolled with it, until I could label it, understand it.  If you have ever done forward rolls of your shoulder joints?  I did, some sort of weight lifting, trying for specific strengths, long and long ago.  Well, it feels like I was doing the exercise to work those, but way overdid it.

Everything that has hurt, is hurting.  Things that I didn't know would hurt are hurting.  Organs, g.i. upswet as if something wasn't righ that way.  Headache, wounds, bone and joing hurts.

Still, all good.  I don't mind.  I just wish I could sleep.  Hmm... may try.

I didn't make an early meeting, but made a later one.  Even got a shower in.  Which... hurt... then helped.  Then... hurt.

I am healing.  The wound on my wrist is an eighth it's original size.  It is a quarter the size of the other one, that used to be there.  The one that is healed now.  The smaller one on my knee is half that size, which had been similar to the one that healed on my hand.  The knee wound, over the bruise, is... getting slightly better, perhaps two thirds it's original size?

That's a lot of very serious, very solid, healing.  But healing hurts.  So does not healing though too.  :p  Oh my word, people.  Doing my best.  But it sure hurts.  I'll... try to get some sleep, shortly.  I won't be getting to church.

Fever?  I'm not sure.  chills?  Maybe.  Odd how I can get both of those at once.  They want me to call in, if I get those.  I'm just not sure.  If... it seems so, Monday, I'll... see.  It could be sepsis, or just upset from all the juggling of organs?

Still, I thank God for building me well enough to take what the world has thrown at me, so far.  From here on in, it isn't important.  Now that I have found, and kneeled, I do not worry about much else.  Though, if He wishes me to live as a witness?  That will happen too.  I don't mind.  Good day, evening, goodnight.  Or later.  Not sure I can quite sleep yet.

A bit late, a bit sore, but good?

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I had an appointment this morning.  I doubted I would make it, but I wanted to call in.  Was only informed, reminded, too late yesterday afternoon for me to cancel.  I should have had it in my calendar.  But I'm... pushing so hard, in so many directings, that things just go off the rails sometimes.  I... can't keep up on everything.

More done this month than I usually do in five months.  Appointments, wound care here at home, managing this and that, while trying to take care of Sassy, my own food and cleanliness, and... else.  I'm absolutely battered.  I don't mind being battered, but it sure makes me move slower.  Not my preferrence, but... it's not horrible.

Sometimes you just have to give in.

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Not outright quitting, maybe.  But, there are limits.  I needed food.  couldn't cook, let alone clean in order to cook.  So, fast food it was.  My body needed food.  There isn't another way around it.  So... yes, food.  Ugly, bad, food.  But it's... all pretty bad?

While out, I filled the tank.  It's $4.18 for what I use.  And she was low.  Oh well.

A better morning?

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Well, afternoon.  I couldn't wake until 15:30.  Everything was a bit off after yesterday.  Two doctor appointments, wound cleaning, dealing with... other news.  Well, and into town twice, while everything sort of hurt.  Yesterday ate it out of me.  Fair enough.  And, at least I kept up with things.

Plus, it hurt all day through the rest of the day.  Some of it was fluid retention.  Which really makes the old wound hurt.  To be honest, it makes all the wounds... roadrash, old open wound, ankle, knee, wrist, elbow, and some other things, hurt.  Something about having extra fluid just... isn't a nice thing.

I keep hoping for some improvement.

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A bit of an upset stomach.  With cream back on the menu, I'd like to make coffee.  Milk was hard on my system, hit like a speeding truck... in a number of ways.  Was acidic?  Or... just... didn't sit well with my whole digestive processes.  As well, sort of made me carb-drunk.  Almost literally like being inebriated?  Strange, but it sure seemed like it.  There were other things that just went wrong because of drinking milk.  Not again.

Cream just doesn't do that.

I swear.

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Sometimes I almost think they listen.

What it all means?  I... don't know.  I just notice the dots.

Awake already.

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Mostly due to pain, suffering.  I went down around 19:00?  Within an half hour either way of that.  Went down pretty quickly.  Didn't put on new bandages, but did take off the old, save for the old wound that is packed more... professionally.  Just left the new wounds open, mostly because I was too tired to wrestle new bandaging on.

No compression, either.  I just couldn't fight my way into that.  So tired, sore, ill, off, and such.  No, I just...  I even only took the bandaging off because it was mostly off already, and I would be tangling with it all night if I didn't.  I was just hoping I didn't bump one or all three... four almost... all through the night, every time I rolled, turned, or such.

So very tired.

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The wound clean out pretty much took my legs out this morning.  And, I hadn't slept well, or long, last night.  Thankfully the second appointment was just about... talking.  Talking may not always be great?  But it doesn't hurt, like digging tissue out of a wound does.

Oh, I get it.  I still don't like it.  But, I get it.  It does, or will, or may, help heal the thing.  Lord knows, I have tried my way for eight to fourteen months.  Ten to sixteen now?  No progress.  And, if their hardware and software are to be believed, than it has improved... if marginally.  Of course, that is beside four other wounds, in various processes of healing.  With one completely healed.

Mortal Combat

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Fight!