Awake, a bit earlier than hoped.

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A quarter after one.  No real choice.  Some days, when I am awake, that's it.  And, I hate just laying in bed.  Actually, I can't.  If I'm not sleeping, the floor mattresses are just not comfortable.  Painful, actually.  Fair enough.  I would rather have it this way, than to be able to lay about.

Oh, but Doom, you did lay about, for years, decades?  No, no I didn't.  I slept, for years, decades.  I had no more choice then as now.  I couldn't wake, get up.  The health/fitness tracker watch explained it all.  Without medicine, it is as if my body is working out ten times the recommened amount.  It wants 150 minutes of higher intensity body numbers, I was putting out 1500, per week.  More than the weekly recommended per day.

Even on medicine, and doing almost nothing, I am putting out the 150 minutes a week, of high intensity.  So, if I add work to it?  Yeah.  I wasn't sleeping needlessly.  My body is just shot.  Medicine helps, a bit.  But, still, I am doing more high intensity minutes a week than most of you.  And that when doing nothing.  Curious how it will look, this fall (I hoped), as it cools, and as I am (I hoped) able to dig back in to work, efforts, chores.

So, down at... a bit after 18:00, I think.  Up at 1:00, or so.  Not as much sleep as I prefer.  But it will do.  And, I really wanted to sleep until, say, three or four.  Just couldn't do it.  All good.  Blood sugar rose, a bit, at 175 fasting.  But is dropping on average, finally?  Very... strange.

This morning?  I'd like to check the thawed meats.  If good, I'd really like to get the smoker cleaned, burned, and ready.  Then get the things going by sunup.  I need to hit those dishes in there, they keep stacking!  Ugh.  Then get a shower.  As well, start a load of laundry.

I have been doing small things, here and there.  But very small things, very light, very occasional.  As the world cools, I am hoping to catch my breath, begin catching up, and hit things more and more.  Maybe even church before long.  To get my world back, even just a bit, will be nice.  I can dress more warmly, for fall, winter, spring.  But there isn't much I can do with the heat.  And, while I am able to keep my home cooler in the summer, and willing to pay for warmth in the winter, there are limits because of outside realitites, and the "corners" of the house.  

No house has ever been able to escaped those things... save, to a degree, submarines.  The sleeping quarters were 66 to 68, full stop?  Seemed cooler, if... that is one thing I didn't learn, or don't remember.  Cooler.  Good for sleeping.  Needed.  While the engineering section and galley were kept warm, more like a kitchen... with a wood stove.  Warm, to almost hot.  A nuclear plant gives off a lot of energy which can be used to keep the work places infinitely warm.  But, too?  The "corners" were the same as the mains.  Hot, or cool, all around.  Quite an interesting system, really.  Hmm... maybe I should get a nuclear plant!  :p

A bit of gaming, first.  Some coffee, and kefir.  Then, dishes... washed and set aside.  A shower when I can.  The dishes back in for a rinse, or a few another soapy soak.  Then laundry started.  Hopefully, in parts, but all by sunup.  Then to get the grill burned.  I'll get that set up now, actually.  Then game.  Just a bit of coal in there, to burn out.  Then oiling the grill, after "dusting" the burned stuff off.  Smoking works only for bigger cuts, but the open fire grill is good for burgers, from time to time.

Yes, I best get some coals in there, and get them lit.  Just enough to sort it out.  Later.

More burgers.

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It's not fancy, but it is tasty.  I do enjoy the simple, more and more these days.  Five patties today, from two pounds of burger.  How much drains off is hard to tell.  No cheese on these, and just two.  Bigger burgers.  No buns, or ketchup.  And until the mustard seeds arrive, no homemade mustard.  A touch of salt, and it is fine.

As well, it looks like it only got to 83 today, here at my home anyway.  And, by 15:45, it had already dropped a degree.  Cooling that early?  Definitely fall.

Good, good.

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It is just 13:29.  A twelve hour waking cycle, so far.  But I am doing well.  The plan is to try to make it to 16:00~18:00.  Possible.

It is 78 out there, or last time I looked.  It could easily go well to 88, heck 95?  Maybe.  Or it may begin cooling.  Strange weather this year.  Just can't be certain.  It still has that fall feel though.  As if the sun just isn't giving it's all, even for this time of the year.

So very hungry.

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Strange.  I am rarely hungry these days.  Mostly I just get a sense that I should eat, or I want to eat.  I very rarely actually have a physical hunger.  Especially since I have been cutting sweeteners, carbs, and such.  Even keto sweeteners.  Blood sugar remains higher than I like, at 175 fasting, and 165 just now.  Probably too soon after my meal, but... yea.  I'll check in a few hours, not have anything between.

Kefir, a good load of it, earlier.  About three cups.  Then a coffee, but with cream but no sweetener.  Then three burgers, two with a slice of swiss and munster cheese.  One of each for two of the burgers.  No carbs in those cheeses, I check.  So, no carbs, whatsover, today.  And few yesterday.  Two drinks with only three drops of sweetener per.

Crashed, hard.

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Early, around 13:00 to 15:00?  If closer to the earliest number if I had to guess.  In part for the little sleep the night before, but mainly for medicine.  I took my night meds right at about bedtime, and took morning pills right when I awoke.  That was too close together, about four hours.  I felt it immediately.  I had to push to make it as far as I did.  Brutal.

Yes, I need to keep at least eight hours between medications, even if sleep is involved.  Maybe more so?  The body doesn't process as much, while sleeping, if I had to guess.  I didn't dare take nighttime meds, when going down.  I was still reeling from the stuff.  I've had that happen before, but while I test many things, I haven't tested that, by taking more meds on top of it.  I do heed some warnings.  That's one of them.

A good morning.

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Spending money like I have it.  But, really, not all that much.  The smart watch I have, which tracks many things, and vibrates me awake... when I use it?  Well... the problem is, it's an expensive watch.  If I use the vibrating alarm, while that does work, it absolutely smashes the battery.  One thing I figured out, with lithium and most rechargeable types of batteries?  Keep them above half, or higher, and the longevity is... remarkable.

So... I have ordered two different, relatively cheap, vibrating alarm wrist watches.  I'll compare.  If one is absolutely subpar, it'll go back.  But if they both work well, I'll keep them... for variety, possible travel, etc.  Not only will I use them for waking, but one is specifically made to help remind people to take medications.  I... could use that.  Might wear all of them, for the rough days?  Though, usually, that vibrating and soft noise, and light if it does that, helps a lot.  It really does work.  Mostly.

Down late, up early.

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Hoping this sorts out to early.  But may just be run over by my schedule again.  Okay.  Kefir, cheese freshly cubed, walnuts, and pecans.  An odd breakfast, but a good one... some mornings.  What, down around midnight, one?  Up at four.  A bit before four.  Still, going for it.  I'll have coffee in a bit.

Then?  Feed Sassy, clear her litter, change her water.  Fresh water daily, she uses it, so I do it.  She used to not, but something changed.  All good.  On to dishes, hit them, move them aside, take a shower, and then put them back for a final rinse.  As well, wash  the freezer top.  It is still cleared, from when I sorted meat.  And, I may pull more, for the fridge freezer, but I'll have to restack that to do that.  Anyway, but the freezer top has gotten messy, as I use it for my cook prep.  The countertops, even if they were cleared/cleaned, are too low and uncomfortable for my efforts.  The drop-in freezer is just right.

I think that was the high?

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I checked between an hour and two ago.  It was already down to 72?  That's crazy.  Upstairs, without anything going, with windows open, it is 70 in the main.  Very strange.  But, fine.

Medicine was taken.  I think, if I miss a dose, it really throws sleep off.  If I take it, it kneecaps me.  Still, at 18:00, I've done well.  The goal is to get bedtime to 20:00, then keep it there as long as I can.  Not sure I can stop the advancing sleep, or this time.  But, that is the goal.

Just 75 out there.

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At almost thirteen hundred, or... one pm if you must.  It's fall.  It didn't come.  It just arrived?  Dropped out of the sky like a smart bomb that actually works.  It got down to 43~44 last night.  Very pleasant.  But heading to cold in a hurry.  This is October weather, maybe November some years.  Not early September.  And you feel it.  Something is so very different.  The world, politics, economics, social.  Everyone knows something is off, wrong, coming, going.  But no one seems to know what.  And you can't tell them.  They know better than their own instincts.

Arm up?  It isn't unreasonable to go armed.  Be armed.  Have arms.  But I wouldn't put all my effort or coin into that.  Put some food up.  Really.  Is it worth going to the stores if you have to be armed to do so?  And, would that turn out how you like every time?  All it takes is one "no" for that to be a final act.  So, put up food, maybe a few bandages and general medical.  Use it and replace it, from time to time, just like food.  Even if it isn't terribly necessary, currently.  Pretend that there are no doctors, or they are... problematic?  More problematic?  Or unavailable to you, for... whatever reason.  Learn to tend little things, before they become big things.  Learn to endure pain.  Life isn't easy.

Awake a bit before two.

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A few hours have gone by.  Someone was looking at some interesting, to me, musical posts.  A handful of them.  I wonder if that is why the skinwalker video popped, out of the blue?  Oh, I think I was born with that, or something like it, in mind.  But no telling about tastes?  I... decided, strangely, that I... prefer the divine.  The true, the good (real good, not our claims of or to it), the beautiful (not just in a fleshly way, but there are... sometimes... corollaries), and other such.

I went seeking that.  And, God forbid?  I found it.  But... He didn't forbid.  I was caught attempting to steal food off His table.  But, that... is precisely all He asked of us, that we consume Him.  Being caught, doing His will, was... not a problem.  Though, there... is a better way.  And, He wrestled me to it.  He is rather... strong.  If you want Him in your life, in you, there... is a price.  Just your life.  But, that was something I had been trying to throw away, by that time, longer than some college kids had been alive.  So...

Another strange day.

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Beginning this post two minutes before. Sixteen hundred, that is.  Google has the time wrong, perhaps when posted?  But... I don't think so.  Their timing is way off, if I think that has to do with the KGB, US form of it, wanting control over the internet.  Anyway...  Calling it.  ;p  As I was sitting there, I became a bit afraid.  When pushing things, and this time I am pushing... successfully at that... I lose my senses.  I could be ninety, in here, and I wouldn't notice.  Until I tried to sleep it in.  Maybe.  Or sleep would be horrible, even if I didn't notice.

So, I hopped up, and shut it all down.  But wanted to see what temp it was.  70 F?  At 16:00?  Wow.  It got down the 52 this morning, before plunging to 47 (might have gotten cooler still, just the numbers I personally saw).  It went from the high 80's, to 80, to 70, in a matter of days.  Not even a weak, and it crashed.  Interesting times.  Which is why some of the greatest philosophers hope you never live in... interesting times.  Boring times might be dull.  Interesting times are often horribly final, or... worse.  There are worse things than death, I remind.  Though, these are really only the portents of interesting times.  Only if this continues, and on it's current real trajectory, will there be interesting times.  A small or full blown ice-age.  We'll see.

Finally.

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Did I mention I have been... incapacitated, of late?  Well, yes.  Trash needed to go, as did recycling.  Recycling doesn't collect too quickly, and I did get that the last time it was possible?  Or... the time before, actually, so four weeks ago.  Still, didn't have much.  But trash?  I think that has been three weeks.  And was... causing problems.

I had checked with a neighbor.  Who said trash pickup was today.  I think it is supposed to be recycling day, too.  I planned to do it through the night, but realized at nearly eight that I hadn't!  I jumped, got it going.  Got it all out... pretty quickly.  Quickly enough though?

Twenty hundred, and pleasant.

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When I woke.  It was 70/71 upstairs, 71/71 down.  A few fans going, but that was it.  It was 54 when I went to bed right at ten.  It is 52 now.  Not sure if it warmed.  But it did rain in the interim.  Coffee, as I wake, and veggies.  Other than the fried chicken dinner, which is playing havoc with blood sugar anyway, my other "cheat" this month was veggies.  A pack of carrots, celery sticks, broccoli, and cauliflower.  I separate the veggies into their own packs, otherwise they would go bad faster, together.  Then, munch on the varied.  I always cook broccoli, rarely pop a fleurette in for a raw chew.  But the others I eat raw, if sometimes, rarely, cooking the cauliflower.  Celery sticks, carrots, and a few cauliflower fleurettes tonight, with coffee.  I'll have a dose of kefir before long.

Trash and recycling, gathered, out, and to the curb.  Hitting the dishes and a shower.  A load of laundry from start to through, while folding the towels which already went through?  That's... the plan.  Plus gaming.  I have figured out a couple of bottle-necks in the game.  So can run until I have to find another difficult to solve, or find, element or puzzle.

Almost ten.

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Finally going to bed.  Probably.  Goodnight... day...  You know what I mean.

Didn't make it to bed.

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I simply wasn't sleepy.  Not even a little tired.  It ended up raining a fairly good lot, from what I could tell.  Or pretended to do so.  Tomorrow isn't garbage pickup day, so I did get that right.  On the good side, the fellow I asked... also did not know.  Had to ask himself.  Probably asked the mrs.  If they are talking.

Not saying that they aren't.  Just... if you've ever had a woman, you... know there are times when you don't talk to her, or she doesn't talk to you.  Strange sort of punishment.  *grins*  Oh, no!  Not talking to me!  For a whole week?  Especially if sex is still on.  Like doing it with a stranger!  Yipee!  *cough*  I mean, so... hurtful, of her!  I'm single, I can say these things.  Probably won't be burned out of my home.  Probably.

The strangest things.

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I lead a simple life, finally.  Simple doesn't always mean plain.

I was... getting a sense, that it would rain.  So I kept checking.  Wasn't really possible, or likely, by the looks of things.  I couldn't shake the feeling.  I've been wrong before.  Not often?  We remember as we like, mind you.  Whether true or not.  Oh, this I know.  Even about myself.

So very strange.

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It isn't just sleep which is stretching.  Fourteen hours down, this last time.  And, yet, nearly twenty four hours up this shift?  Or... will be before I go down.  Medicine.  And the end of summer.  Working in concert.  Then again, because of it, medicine is being missed.

I am neither trying to stay up longer, or sleep longer.  I wake as I do, I sleep as I must.  When I wake, I get up.  No pushing, shoving, trying, or else.  It's just that I have no way to push off, no direction to push toward.  I'm... in a fog.  Harshly.  I am gaming, which helps me... focus.  Just a tiny bit.

More gaming.

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It's what I can do.  Hoping to hit dishes today, get trash and recycling ready, out, and then... not to the curb?  I don't think they will come Monday, holiday?  Right?  I'll... ask around.  Oh, and maybe some laundry?  I've done three loads, all dry, but... just sitting in the wash room.

It's hitting right around 72 out there.  The coolest I saw it overnight was 58.  For some reason my mind was suggesting that was cold.  But... it's not.  I don't know.  When sleep is messed up, the mind sort of... thinks strange things.

Ugh, but, okay.

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Sleep and waking are all over the place.  I can't be absolutely sure when I went to bed, but I think I woke around 19:00?  My app/watch combination is suggesting a 3:17 down, and a 19:44 wake.  Okay.  Maybe.  Sounds about right, come to think about it.  A very long sleep, though why?

I cleared the freezer, to get meat put up yesterday.  Today, not first thing, but other than feeding Sassy and getting her fresh water, the first thing I did, was to clean it off, and reset kefir while I was at it.  Later, I'll pull meat.  Not for thawing, just for putting into the fridge freezer.  Three two pounders of burger, a few steaks, and maybe some chicken.  All I have is whole chickens, these days.  Parts are often questionable.

Out.

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Took two days to finally get in and get my order picked up.  A shower taken, before hand.  Brushed my teeth too.  They are rough.  A dental appointment would be good... whenever that might happen.  But, for now, I'll do what I can.

Steak.  I didn't order more.  A few roasts.  And some general items.  Nothing fancy, but it sure was expensive.  Yea.  But, so be it.  As mentioned, I'll eat these steaks, all of them, down, and burger, before buying again.  Though, if I see a good price on burger, or prime rib, I'll... go there.

A strange morning.

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Top to bottom.  Going to bed so very late, at 20:00... or so.  About killed me.  But, first, I had so many things to do.  Then?  Then I just couldn't, until I could.  A minor bout of insomnia.  Minor is far better than major.  Then waking at three thirty?  Or so?  But... comfortably.  It wasn't a push.  It wasn't uncomfortable.  I didn't wake tired, but have to wake.  It was... a good wake.  It has been a good morning.

Nothing fancy.  Still rather crushed.  Can't do much.  But I can breath, enjoy some coffee, say prayers for the travelers as they pass, their families, co-workers, and such.  It's become a pleasant hobby.  And... none of them ever know.  God does, and listens.  Probably angels too.  A prayer... opens doors.

It had been cool, but by five?  It had jumped to 70.  Here at eight thirty it is just 73.  I worried, with it that warm before daylight, that the sun would crisp the world.  Not so much.  If, too, it looks like there were clouds blocking it's attentions.  It could well end up an exceptionally hot day.  Or... not.  Odd how weather can be invisible, yet have a dramatic affect on the temperature.  A clear sunny day that doesn't get above eighty, or a cloudy frigid day which oddly drops to negative forty.  Clouds usually keeping things warmer, but something... shifted.  Not even wind, just a cold body of air, or warm one, moves in.  Unseasonably?  Invariably.  Odd, this world we live on.  Wouldn't bet on it, anything about it.  But wouldn't bet against it.  Until God says so.  Or... more... lets us say so, when most have gone that way.

Anyway, a very strange morning.  But a good one.  Have you ever breathed well, comfortably, happy in your skin, without pain, or oddities.  Just lived a little joy of a span of time?  I am doing that this morning.  I am grateful for my life, even when in pain.  When not in pain?  I live like a king.  The king of no one, or myself, in a fashion.  Learning from my Teacher how to be truly royalty.  And today is... a good day in that way.  Being king is... not always nice, gentle, friendly.  Ask God, Whose image you are made in.

Later.

Well...

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Still awake.  I made a personal call.  Then awaited a delivery.  Only got forty percent of the order though.  So... went hunting for the rest.  As it turns out, the rest is on the way.  Mostly make sense.  The boxes, for just the four of ten I received, are huge.  Two bags of sixteen pounds of 'cowboy' charcoal per.  And, yes, that's a lot of volume.

Anyway, I did get those in, off the porch.  Not as... heavy as I feared.  Then again, that is only forty percent of the order, and I was only able to carry twenty percent at a time.  These boxes were pushing my ability to grab and maneuver as is.  Two boxes at once was impossible.

Got them.

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I called the eye clinic in SLC.  No truly local options.  They did have the potential for a clinic in Pocatello?  Idaho.  Not all that much closer.  I called them, but they have... a prison outreach handling their calls?  No, just... no.  Still, I have an appointment in SLC, for both an eye checkup and glasses setup.  Actually, I'll probably cancel the eye exam.  I don't want it.

Then a call to dental.  They have already heard about me.  Good?  Bad?  Which is unusual.  Normally the vet calls, then they send information back and forth... at whatever pace (not fast, usually), then an appointment is set up.  Just because information has already been sent, doesn't mean that the rest will be speedy.  Can hope, but not great worry.  It has been four or five years.  Between covid and just having trouble getting up there...  So... much needed.  At least I don't think I have any dental issues.  Probably.  Save really... dingy teeth.  Coffee will do that, as does drinking vinegar.  Bleh.

A pretty good night.

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I didn't get to anything.  Other than making a meal, that was it.  Blood sugar is 152 just now.  Whatever.  Some kefir is going down.  I really should get back to having kefir just before any meal, then a vinegar tonic right after.  It both makes the meal more filling, and helps with blood sugar.  I swear.

I didn't believe it would.  Which... is half the reason I tried it.  To disprove it.  Well, and there is always some hope.  But it did work.  Should do it now, especially being as close to normalizing that as I have gotten.  Insulin didn't do as good as this.  Oh, it would get it low.  Then I would eat one damned thing and it would be off for a month or two.  Same with this, but I eat wrongly less often.

Good, chilly but good.

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Blood sugar, for no good reason, dropped thirty two points to 131.  Now, I am cutting kefir intake to no more than two cups at a time.  Was pushing closer to three.  And, having it less often.  Same with coffee, and trying to push to remember to only add three drops of sweetener, when I add it.  Trying not to add that all the time.  Keto sweetener, for what that seems to matter sometimes.  Even so, why it dropped tonight, and not yesterday, doing the same things?  Take what you can get.

Eggs and corned beef hash, for supper tonight.  And a handful of walnuts and pecans.  I recently purchased something like cookie cutters, but for frying eggs in.  To give the fried eggs that nice round formed shape.  As long as I know the eggs are good, I like the idea.  Plus, I have my griddle on a slant, so the extra oil will drain away.  Not the easiest thing to cook eggs on.  A spatula and a bit of quick work, if it's at the right temp, works.  But would rather just crack, drop, and forget.  I'm hoping they work.  Washed them, and ready to try them tonight.

It was already down to 49 when I went out.  It's been that temp for about an hour.  May easily drop further yet tonight.  I expect it will.  When I saw it was that cool, I closed things up, made sure the fans were off.  Save upstairs.  I think there is a fan going up there.  I'll turn it off shortly.

Took some time off.

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From everything.  Mostly.  Days and nights are completely messed.  Going to bed at six, waking at 18:30.  Sleeping very long too, which isn't helping.  If trying to push sleep along in order to reset.  Is it the heat?  Medicine?  Or have I bet keeping it too cool?  I just don't know.  All I know is waking, sleeping, doing, all in the drink.

Blood sugar is improving, but in odd give and takes.  Yesterday it was down to 130, fasting.  Today it's up to 163.  I mean, those are better, but not continuously better.  And I ate rightly.  A steak, coffee, and kefir.  Oh, cheese and salami, the last of the most recent batch.  Good, keto, food.  And not too much, not an excess.  So... why the higher read?  Stupid things!

Up, late and strange.

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To bed around seven? eight?  In there.  up at 19:00, give or take a handful, or two.  It was 77/78 up there.  I didn't turn the ac's on, had everything shut up.  It got down to 50 this morning, was 78 outside when I woke, 73/77 downstairs?  Or so.  I couldn't wake up.  Too hot?  Sort of.  Heat, and cold, beyond some point, can kill my ability to wake.  Or, until late.

Oddly, I don't feel terrible for it.  Didn't have my, what used to be regular, fever dreams when sleeping too hot.  Blood sugar, lower.  Thirty to forty pounds off.  Yea.  It changes things.  Well, and back on heart medicine.  One, two, all?  Don't know.  But, sleep was pretty good.  Hmm?  I thought it was an extra long sleep, by my watch/app suggest I was down less than seven hours?  How is that even possible?  My app/watch must... be wrong.  I know I wasn't awake beyond the hour of eight, and I think it was either just after eight or just before it.  And I know I woke at 19:00, give or take fifteen minutes.

Hmm?

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I have seen them... work my feed.  Cause things to show up there.  Seemingly in message form.  And I have seen them turn the feed to shit, groids, and foreign language only.  I have even seen them put vids into my history, vids I didn't, wouldn't, watch.  So, I have been carefully culling vids that don't belong.  Checking the history from time to time.

What I have never seen is having vids, essentially, thumbtacked to the top tier of my history.  Not the first row, but the second.  And, for three, four, maybe five days?  These three have been tagged and kept in place, in my viewing history.  I haven't watched some of these for months.  I ignored.  I kept ignoring.  But... fine.  I'll show them.

Late.

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Late to bed, late waking.  Down sometime after six.  How much later is anyone's guess.  After six could be nine, but is more likely not later than eight?  Something.  Up at 16:30, though, probably.  Mostly.  Give or take an half hour?  Or hour.  Ugh.  Well, Give to the earlier, it is just going on 17:00, and I know I have been up at least an half hour.

Sleep was very good.  I had the ac on.  It was 73, near me.  Didn't check the other thermometer up there this morning.  It only got down to 64, but it was a cooler 64 than the 58 degree night not long ago, at least when the wind was howling through.  Oh, that was quite pleasant.  I did have the windows and all open for a goodly part of the night, but knowing I would be trying to sleep through the furnace of the day I closed everything down before going to bed.

I thought it was still Friday!

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That is what a sliding day will get you.  I didn't get to bed until... four, five?  Some time in there.  Just couldn't sleep.

It got to 58 last night.  Which would have been cool enough to open up.  Though it wasn't until very early that it got that cool.  And, I knew I wouldn't be awake until late.  I just left the ac's on and the place closed up.  Didn't want a brutal, hot, house to try to tame through the day.

Still digging, whoever is digging.

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Looking for the more difficult things?  Sort of.  More.

A mixed bag, again.  Some I really enjoy, others are... painful.  My story?  Sometimes, in ways.  There are... elements.  Perhaps all have gone through dark times, dark things, hard things, wonderful things that are now gone, and else.  These hold... truths.  But who is looking, and why?

Don't know.

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Digging deep, going hard.  Whoever is watching is playing tight.

Okay.  I'm always in the mood.

Mockery?

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I just can't tell.  But it does put me in a mood.  Not... even a bad one.

Can't win?  Maybe.  Can't lose, either.  You think death is losing?  No one survives this gig.  It's... a matter of how, when, and why ones dies.  I've... died for stupid things, right things, wrong things.  I'll die at least one more time.  Maybe they aren't... mocking?  Maybe.

A steak hit the spot.

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Thinking about having another.  It's been a while since I've rightly eaten, pretty much anything, and certainly anything good, or solid.  I mean, kefir is good.  But it isn't solid.  The last thing I ate that was semi-solid was fast food.  Which... really isn't solid.  But steak?  Even burger patties?  Fried eggs?  Yes,  Though, with eggs, something else is... desired.  Bacon, sausage, something something.

Just check blood sugar.  At 145 it's... okay.  Wish it would get better, but it's just clinging to the higher numbers.  The 129, from recently, has me... excited.  It was the lowest number, but... a very good one.  We'll see.

Okay, sorting some things.

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.

Called to set up dental.  To go to the one in SLC, it would be in October.  And a long drive.  They now have local access.  So, sure!  If I can get my teeth cleaned locally, I can probably make it much more regularly.  A four to six hour trip is... brutal.  Especially for me.  Some days.  Some days it is good.  So, I'm waiting on a list.  I then call one of them, they put in for a clearance, then... we arrange the time?  Something.

Next, I called to speak with my doctor.  His nurse, actually.  About the blood test.  Since I won't be going up to the VA soon, in SLC, I'd just have to get in for this.  But, they now have a clinic here locally.  So, sure.  I won't see their "medical", here.  No.  All female, pretty much.  All highly feminist.  No.  But, for a blood test?  Sure!  Saves me a very long trip.

Awake earlier.

.

.

To bed around three, even so, again.  I can't seem to be to bed earlier, but I am waking earlier.  My normal was pushing to fifteen hundred, it is now thirteen hundred.  Today was an half hour before that.

Warm.  Upstairs was 77/76, cooler nearer me... with the windows open.  Downstairs?  I'm getting a reading of 71/74, not sure which is supposed to be 71, or even sure that is right.  It is blinking on and off.  I'm assuming the batteries are dying, but am not sure where it is.  Doesn't feel that cool, either.  I'll have to see if I can find the remote sensor.  Found one, but it's to a different device.  Ugh.  Stupid things.

Actually found two... the second one is... also for a different device!  Bleh.  May have to replace them all, and put the new remotes in known locations.  Put a screw in the wall, in each room.  And always keep them there.  Stupid things.

Cooler.

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.

It was just hitting 80 a bit before 18:00.  Must have been warm.  Not really hot, but it was cooling by then.  Last time I checked, it was 68 out there, so I opened up.  It's down to 64.  Or... was an hour ago?  Right... I... lost track.  Anyway, I opened up up and down stairs, and it is cooling indoors.

I also started taking care of some dishes.  Mostly inside.  But one pot had been left, with... something in it.  Something that has turned quite awful.  I added hot water and am leaving it out to... do a bit of something.  Then I'll sort it out, maybe add soap and hot water, and leave it outside again.  After scraping out what of the goop I can.  Ugh.  As well, I set up three dishpans.  All good.

Awake, early.

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.

Early comparatively, earlier than expected.  Not... truly early.  Crawled out at 13:30.  Almost got up at nine, but rolled over for a few more minutes, and here I am.

It was 77/75, warmer near me, upstairs, 71/72 downstairs (cooler in the back areas), and 82 outside, probably going higher.  The upstairs was all buttoned up.  I must have forgotten to open up?  Ac was off.  Same with downstairs, no ac.  It got down to, at least, 54 last night.  May have been cooler.  That was at around three, as I was going to bed.

Very nice, surprisingly.

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.

Even an hour or two ago it had started to cool.  It was down to 77~78.  Down to 76 now.  The highest I saw it was 82.  I'm pretty sure that was about the high.  Very odd that it is cooling already, this early.  It is partly cloudy, but more in the five to ten percent range, at a rough guess, at any given time I have looked out.  Very small islands of fairly solid clouds... more summer fun stuff than storm stuff.  So, that isn't doing it.  May still be cool and cold weather, from the hurricane, drifting in?  Hard to know, with any absolute certainty.  I ignore weathermen.  What little they know is undone by being bought out or blackmailed into lying to us.

I did turn the ac on, upstairs and down, preparing for what I thought would be a terribly hot day.  I think I can shut them off, for now.  Not yet time to open up, one thing at a time.  I'll leave some fans going, but will turn a few of those off too.  Strangely, I am feeling cold.  The downstairs, main, is running at 72.  Right near the computer it is 77?  But it... feels cold!  Let me check blood sugar... 186?  It's nearly a fifty point drop... that might be enough to do it.  Lower blood sugar makes me a cold body, strangely.  Until I get used to it, especially after a major jump.  And, yesterday's consumptions made, probably, a massive jump.  The day after was 224, I would guess, in the middle of yesterday, or nearing the end, during the last soda, I was probably in the 350 to 400 range.  Yes... it does that.

Up, finally.

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Lost in a long dark, or so it seemed.  The storm, or the one that was here, seems to have passed.  I don't think it did so until mid morning or later?  Can't be certain, just a feeling.  It seemed dark.  That is all I can say.  Though, I was wearing my eye-covering hat... cap... whatever.  It just makes sure it is dark enough.  With fans and clocks and this and that all producing light pollution, I... like to shut it all out.

Blood sugar first thing.  But, with having eating a fast food meal yesterday, I wasn't expecting a good read.  At 224 it was better than I had actually hoped.  Yes, one meal out and it will jack my blood sugar hard.  No major issue.  Back to the grind.  I also had two sodas, on top of the one with the meal... biggies.  Otherwise wouldn't have made it home.

Up, before the dark noon?

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I don't get it.  It was cool enough.  At 72 near me, and in the main too?  Strangely.  Downstairs is 71/72.  Outside is 54?  I suppose, two days mostly overcast, several rains, with the hot air between us the the hurricane pushed through, it's... time for some cooling.  Days, weeks, more?  Very possibly.  Though, maybe it will all shift south, or south and north.  Weather... is like a woman, suggests one thing, does another.  And often smells funny.  :p

Oh, crap.  I was going to do a blood test with some of my last strips, until the new ones show up.  I just ate.  Forgot to turn kefir over last night, so I got that done, as well, first thing.  And, poured me off a morning lot.  Love that stuff.  Coffee too.  It's a good morning.

Made it.

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The appointment was today.  It has... been a long time since I was out.  Wasn't sure I would make it, or on time.  I've been awake all day and night... couldn't sleep.  Got a shower in, washed shirts for fresh, pulled a pair of my cargo pants from airtight storage.  With everything planned, it went rather easily.  Though I had to search for my wallet.  Ugh.  Always something.

The goal was to be out by ten, for a 13:30 appointment.  Would have been out just slightly after, save for the wallet hunt.  I ended up leaving at around 10:45, giver or take a dozen minutes, five?  Something.  I made it pretty easily.  Coming back it hit traffic jam after traffic jam.  People are, pretty much, idiots.  Traffic slowed.  I expected to see an accident.  I did... on the other side of A CONCRETE BARRIER.  Talk about being pissed!  What f'ing morons!  Absolutely no reason to slow down, none.  People are idiots!

Never did get to bed.

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Just too warm.  It was in the mid 70s until a few hours ago.  Finally dropping to the low 70s.  I can't believe how warm it remained, even with fans going and windows open, with it being 63 out much of the morning, now down to 61.  Just a weird thing.  High humidity, but that often makes it cooler, when it is cool.

Overcast, again, this morning.  I expected it to rain through the night, but that didn't happen.  Strange how it is working out.

Crazy.

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.

I wanted to go without eating or even drinking for a while before testing blood sugar.  So, I did.  Waited three hours, or so.  Was amazed.  Blood sugar was 129.  Fantastic, but crazy.  But crazy good.  Amazed.  Just diet.  And, I do cheat, even carbwise, from time to time.  From pizza to regular soda, if rather rarely.  Like... once every other month, or monthly on rare occasions.

What else is crazy is the temps in here.  Staying right in the mid 70s.  It is 66 outside, and there is a hefty breeze going.  Doesn't seem to matter.  I could close it up, turn on ac's, but... I... keep thinking it will cool.  It really should cool off in here.  Then, again, it isn't bothering me.  Very strangely, but this 74/77 to even higher feels like the high 60s?  Very strange.  I have several gauges.  I honestly was beginning to wonder if one was broke.  But... half a dozen?  Yes... I... do that.  More looking for a better device, but they all seem to work pretty well, and in line with one another.

Doing well?

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.

Just gaming, so far.  Waking up.  On the good side, I am gaming better.  I am doing well, mostly.  The game is a serious puzzle-works sort of thing. EVERYTHING has to be figured out.  And, this time, I am not watching vids, at least beforehand.  I do check if I am well and thoroughly stuck.  Though there are a few areas I can' seem to get through.  But I can't quite figure out how to phrase the query.  I can get around them, but going through the trouble spots would be much shorter.

Up really late.

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.

Going to have to push things.  Things to do soon.  It was 77/77 upstairs, when I woke, which was part of the problem.  Heat does that.  I really thought it would be another cool day though.  Technically, I think it should have been, should be, one.  Overcast.  With a decent breeze going?  I think there was, or is, a breeze.  The curtains were fluttering, at least upstairs.

It was 72/77 down here.  Odd.  But... no, just odd.  I shut the door between downstairs and up, this time.  Seems to make an odd difference.  It is 78 outside.  I thought it would be in the 60s.  Nope.  That's the problem.  Though... is it cooling, or heating, out there?  I'll find out in an hour or so.

A good day.

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.

Cooler.  The warmest I saw it outside was 68.  Though I wasn't checking very often.  It did get warm in here, which caused me to check several hours ago.  It had gotten to 76/76, downstairs.  While it didn't feel awful, I... thought it strange.  It seemed cooler, outside, just... by a sense.  So I checked.  It was 66.

Ah, I had closed up the house.  As far earlier, when I checked, it was 68.  I thought it would keep going up.  I... don't think it did.  So I opened the place up.  It's not 74/75.  Strange.  But the air isn't moving.  The upstairs is open, with one or both fans going?  Whatever.  It should cool overnight.

Gaming, is all, so far.  Would like another shower before bed.  And maybe a load of laundry set up.  Not to run tonight... tomorrow.  For upcoming events.  I am going to have to push to get through.  I have things I really need to do, and more if I can get in touch with dental and the eye doctor.  It's... going to be a test.  But... I'm going to try.  I need medicine.  I hate gagging on blood in my lungs.  It's annoying.

Well, on back to gaming.  Oh, I have to remember I have kefir on tap, again.  I do love that stuff.  And, with it, some days I can go without other food.  Just four to six cups of the stuff through the day, in one or two doses.  And it is warm enough, and the grains are back in shape enough, that it is only taking about a day to ferment well enough.  It's okay with the storebought milk, but will be much better with raw milk.

On to gaming, a shower in a bit, and to bed earlier tonight, I think.  Be well, sleep well, goodnight.  

Very strange morning.

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I left everything open.  And, left the door to the downstairs open.  With fans going, I think everywhere.  I woke a bit late this morning, if only from heat?  So, it was a rough wake.  The heat, if it get to the mid 70s, will keep me asleep until it forces me to wake up, it's... an odd thing.  Anyway, so it was 75/77, warmer near me.

I figured it would be blazing hot out, given those temps, this relatively early.  The downstairs was only 72/73 though?  I checked.  Nope, 68 outside.  Why in the world is it so warm up there?  That's just not... how it usually works.  But, okay.  Now, true, usually I don't have the door open, between downstairs and up.  But I would have thought that would have improved air flow, thus cool, even upstairs.  Guess not.

Cool enough.

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Couldn't sleep, or I would have much earlier.  Hitting almost three.  On the good side, it was cool enough to open things up fairly early in the evening, and get fresh air moving through, both upstairs and down.  Very nice.  Plus, ac sort of makes the air... odd.  It'll leave me with a dry cough, if having to live in it for too long.  This year has been so much better, that way, though.  I think these last few days were the first multi-day, in a row, when I had to use the ac 24 hours a day for those two or three days.

And, tonight, it's all open.  It got down to at least 64 F.  Cool enough too cool off the house and add fresh air.  This front room is still 75.  Odd.  Down from 82 though, too.  Clouds are still moving through.  Not sure if it is totally, mostly, or partly cloudy though.  Just couldn't get a good enough sense.

A tough odd morning.

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Waking at noon thirty.  A call, about milk.  I expected that, so kept it in the back of my mind to answer.  Even so, it was like answering the door, from the dead, on the phone.  Ugh.  It was so harsh to even figure out what was beep screaming at me, or... why.  Nothing made sense.  But, I answered in time.

Good friends are patient.  Plus, I explained that I was awake late, and realized I hadn't given him the order.  But didn't want to wake him.  There is a way, he said.  So, from now on, I'll... go that way if I am late and realize.  Not... always how it works.  He called because they worry.  I'm... an old guy, ill beyond reason, bleeding right to my lungs, unable to handle even the 74/75 temps the ac can offer, but... I don't get to die.  I keep telling them.  They... just don't believe.  How many decades now?  Three, going well on to four.

So very late.

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.

A quarter after three.  Up, playing a new game.  Heart hurts.  Neither are the reason I am still awake.  Kept hoping it would cool.  Nope.  Even now it is 68 out there.  Warmer indoors, even with the ac, 75/79 downstairs.  It might be cooler upstairs?  The fans help.

On to bed.  I forgot to put in my order for milk and cream.  Two milks, this week, and one cream.  Very pleasant stuff.  Raw milk and cream, extremely good stuff as I see things.  Thankfully, I have a neighbor who agrees, and goes that way regularly.  Picks it up for me, or I'd... not have it often as I like.  With kefir, that stuff is required.  Raw is much better for even that.

Dreams, of people, who used to be me?  Odd how dreams, and daydreams, can work.  Some of them know their names, some don't.  Having a wild imagination, I think that is what they called it, carries over from the waking and conscious into the sleeping and nearly asleep modes.  Someday I ought to describe some of those.  Or not.  May just keep those stories for myself.

Ugh, on to bed.  Goodnight.

Dinner.

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Heating up the griddle.  The steak was salted and set out an hour ago.  Wrapped in clingwrap because flies are a summer thing, and it is summer.  I may yet do meatballs yet tonight, out there.  But not now.  Cook them, let them cool, bag them, and have them ready for tomorrow.  Nothing fancy, but... good.  I spiced and herbed the meatball mixture.  Should be well seasoned, melded even, especially if cooked, too, then left again overnight.

Stalling.

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Another boss.  In the game.  One I really don't like.  Though, in truth, I don't like any of the bosses.  They just aren't fun.  The game can, will, does, cheat.  It'll through your ability to see, the boss will clip through things while blocking you, the boss may or may not ever take a break from attacking, to give you a chance.  It's just how it goes.

They say the game doesn't cheat, that these things are all based on skills, numbers, random rolls.  But that's not what I have seen.  No matter my level, randomly a boss will be nearly impossible, killing my 'toon over and over.  Then, one time, for no reason, I'll kill it as if it was a low level mob in a starter zone.  Sometimes, rarely, that happens on the first shot.  Sometimes the second.  Sometimes it doesn't happen for many tries.

A longish pleasant nap.

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Down around ten?  Half after?  Something, perhaps as late as eleven thirty, I... just can't be sure.  If I think more like around, between, the first two times.  I woke at noon, then thirteen hundred, waking about an hour after that.  It was 75/73 upstairs, with ac on.  Cool enough to sleep, mostly comfortably.  But... the heat pushed me out, I think.

All good, really.  Downstairs is, was, 73/77.  The front room heats up quickly, to eighty with me and the machine on, in, going.  I'll get into the cooler part of the house shortly.  It was 88 outside.  Still early enough that it might go up yet.  Probably will go up.  Unless a storm is pushed in, through.  Though I think we'll just get hot air for the first few days of the pressure from the hurricane.  Can hope for cooler, wet, weather at some point.  But no guarantee.  It's got a lot of summer desert area to cover between there and here.

Back down for a bit.

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.

It did cool a bit down here, in here generally.  Not all that well, given that it was 66 outside though.  Then again, that is just a bit cooler than indoors.  Last I checked it was still 66, but the sun had gotten through, or burned through, clouds to the east.  It was warming quickly.  So I started shutting the house down, in parts.

Decided to close it all down just now, so as to get on back to bed.  An odd night.  My sleep tracker, on the watch/phone, is totally going astray.  It was suggesting I was asleep from yesterday around three, to seventeen thirty or so.  That is when I was awake.  I went to bed around 23:300, waking at three thirty this morning, or so.  Not sure what the problem is.  But, that is not accurate.

If I had been sleeping odd shifts, I could see it somehow getting confused.  But I have been fairly regular.  @!%H^@%^&%Ying tech.  Still, it is usually helpful, and more accurate.  More laughing than actually angry.

I set the ac going upstairs, when I closed it down.  Should be reasonable.  I didn't turn the ac on downstairs, and won't, until I wake, if needed.  I love those machines, and what they can do for my sanity and health.  But they are expensive.

I'll have burgers later, and either more burgers later still, or a steak later on.  I really am enjoying eating mostly meat.  I have learned how to cook on the griddle, to make just about perfect burgers and steaks.  Life is good as a carnivore.  If, I... still dig through the carb trash from rare time to rare time.  Habit, a bad one, but becoming a rare one.

Later.  Goodnight again?  Dunno.  Will find out.

It is simply not cooling.

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.

It reads at 66 out there.  Not exactly cold, not even really cool.  But cooler than the 75 in this front room.  With everything open, fans pushing... nothing.  I opened up for maximum airflow.  And... one degree in two hours.  It feels so humid out there, the air just refuses to move or be moved.  It's definitely summer.  As it is normally for three to four months up to this point.  Just hitting it's stride, finally.  Oppressive.

Meds down, coffee finally made and going down, on to gaming.  I'm looking for a survival game.  One I can tinker with.  I don't mind if there is an adversarial element, barring player versus player (real players).  I don't do that.  But, say, zombies, cannibals, animals, or even odd plantlife which has become carnivore.  But, better, I like when I can shut off that element, to learn the other things without having to balance everything so strictly, in the first playthrough.  

They don't have many of these games.  And fewer on console.  It seems anything new is going purely to pc without being patched to console.  And I get why.  Too little money for Sony to dig out of players to make it worth them working with those devs.  Fun games, just for fun, with low profits?  They aren't going to do that.

I am considering, in the long run, a computer to play those types of games.  Maybe a linux rig, to boot.  With M.S. stirring up mud, trying to force peeps into their newest junk, trying to redo old agreements?  Yea no.  Plus, linux machines do fine with older equipment.  Heck, linux used to only work on rather old equipment.  Not sure about these days.  But, if I could get a linux rig up and running for five hundred, to a thousand, a gaming rig?  That... might be doable, over three or four months... at my leisure.  I simply won't spend for a microsoft rig, or even high end rig.  Even if I could.  They have killed my interest, and only a few games are worth playing... none of the AAA's.  Light duty off-brand seem to actually want to include real people players, not dei's.  I hope Soros and bros can keep affording to hire peeps who make games real people won't play.  That isn't going to work for long.  Long hard layoffs for the too-big-to-fail companies coming up.  Yea!  I hope.

Rants, sure.  But not without reason, purpose, or thought.

Hmm... on to something.  Gaming.  Later.

Up very early.

.

.

But why?  It felt like someone was here.  Someone I knew.  To be honest, I was sure a real person was in my home.  Sounds?  Just the feel?  It didn't feel like a dangerous... person?  But, yet, I didn't like the feeling.  So, up.  But it wasn't just that.  It was... time to wake?

My body seemed ready.  Rested?  Enough, it seems/seemed?  It felt like time to wake up.  As if mom had made breakfast, before school.  Or one of my women had or was making something to eat, when younger.  Something... strange.

Summer is finally here.

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.

It was 75 still, last time I checked a bit ago... outside.  And humid?  Yes.  Sticky.  Or so it seemed to me.  Clouds arrived earlier.  It looked like it might storm, but just seemed too hot.  For whatever reason it didn't rain.  Which was good, at least for the moment.  I was out in an attempt to cook dinner.

Nothing fancy, 4:1 beef to ground pork.  Lot of bone in that pork.  No, it wasn't the ground pork I ordered in bulk, it was older ground pork purchased prepackaged.  It didn't end up being my favorite, if I salted a bit too much I think.  When I mix burger and pork, next time, it will be for meatballs, not burgers.  Just... doing something different.  Trying something new.  Doesn't always work.  But, for meatballs, the mix is good.  Why meatballs and not burgers?  I don't know.  Sauce?

I had thought I would stay up until it cooled outside.  Open up and wait until it cooled off indoors.  But I don't think it will, or even can, cool outside enough, or fast enough, at this point, to cool off the indoors.  It just won't work.  So, I'll just leave things going, and go on up to bed.

I've been looking for new games.  Survival type.  There just isn't much out there.  For computers, sure.  But this machine wasn't a gaming computer to start, and is older now.  Good for getting online.  Not for gaming.  I appreciate it, but will... not try to use it well beyond it's capacities.  Nor would I buy a computer.  They... killed the personal computer, by pricing it out of reach for gamers.  Then, destroyed games with "woke".  Not... worth my time.

Now they are dumbing games down so "the world" can play.  Only... not even that really works.  You can get droid like players, but they... really aren't good.  I have to wonder if drugs are being used, and other tweaks and cheats.  It... won't last.  Much like the tech world using micro-hits of lsd, and other such, in order to be competitive.  All it does is slowly destroy minds, which were questionable to start.  Creativity is painful.  Trying to get past that is... not going to work.

They'll kill their industry, or overburden it with the broken and useless.  As is, fewer and fewer are buying new AAA products, or any products.  Definitely not new.  Not until we know whether the thing, or how badly the thing, is woke... whether it is even playable, or for how long before it is, and such.  Even if I look a released game over, and it seems up to some sort of snuff, I won't buy it until it's about half price or less.  Oh, and ignore the listed price.  Many games, now, are ten to twenty off right out the gate.  So I wait until they are more in the twenty dollar range before buying.  They did it to themselves.  Hope a lot of the companies go broke.  Start over, from the ground, with non-woke, non-inclusive, workers and ideas.  If the people who are being targeted didn't ever think of toilet paper, they... aren't going to be interested or able to play solid games.  Or calculus.  Or plumbing.  Or dental care.  They'll learn, or die.  I'm... good with either, both.

Well... a bit of a look around then on to bed.  Blessings.

Definitely her.

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.

Almost every song I have played for her.  She knows what's for her, what could be.  But definitely what is.  All but her name stamped on some of them.  I'll be she got a bit bent about some of it.  Far too accurate, or personal.  I kept wondering if it was really her.  If it isn't, it is someone who knew both of us, how we operated, and ferreted the music which belonged.  A extreme longshot.  I know a few sharp cookies, but no mind snipers.

Hmm?  Oh, the pops.  Yea.  Definitely her.

Late to bed?

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.

It was definitely after 1:30.  But to two, three, four?  I just... can't remember.  It was so warm that getting up and to bed was a complicated matter, and memory just doesn't work well.  It did cool, to about 72 front and back.  Down here, with the ac off.  I had the ac running upstairs.

I remember suggesting I was going to close everything and turn everything off, down here.  And keep the ac running upstairs.  I... didn't do either.  I left things open down here, turned the ac off upstairs, and opened the windows.  Which is probably why I woke at ten or so.  At which time it was already 78 outside?  Yikes.  Yes.

On the good side, it remains cool in the house.  I did shut up the upstairs, and most of the downstairs.  The front door is open just a crack.  It offers air flow out, which sort of keeps the place warm, until heat is too much and bursts in.  Actually, it's about time to close that door.

An oddly difficult night.

.

.

Too warm.  Sure seems it.  While, at 1:30, it is finally down to 62 outside, it was slow to cool... seemed it.  And hotter than what the thermometer was reading.  Just one of those days.  I won't bark at that tree too much.  We have had a very easy summer.  A few days, even weeks, of hotter weather is half expected.  Half wanted.  Just to get some... hot days in so winter can be more appreciated.

I finally realized it was cool enough to open the house up.  Haven't opened the upstairs yet, perhaps if/when I go to bed?  Though, really?  If I open up, and go to bed this late, I'll be waking to a furnace.  No, I'll keep it shut down and ac on.  Downstairs?  I'll get it as cool from the outside as possible, before going on to bed.  But shut it all down before going on to bed.

Looks like I will be losing daylight.  But... that happens in deep summer, and often deep winter.  Though it can happen at any time.

I thought she had stopped watching long ago.

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.

Well, then, I did shut the doors for a longish time.  Tried to get people to go away.  Some have returned.  From... the responses, I suspect she is back.  Though... who can ever tell.  Could she remain "quiet"?  Yes, and... from the responses... no.  Some are old, very old, some newer, some are brand new, to me.

Up, late.

.

.

I was to bed early enough to not have thought I would need more sleep.  Though, too, I was sitting in the heat for a bit too long.  Out in this front room it just didn't cool, and I got stuck here.  Sitting, reading, listening.  I think the heat just got to me.

I'm leaving the ac on upstairs, and turned the one on down here.  Just too hot.  Summer is finally here.  I think it was 87 when I checked, at around ten or nearing eleven?  I think so.  Fed Sassy, water should be heated for coffee though I think I'll have kefir first, then coffee after.

Not as hot as I thought it would get.

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.

It is about 87 out there.  It might have gotten a degree warmer, and started cooling?  I think so.  But, that one degree warmer, in the more direct sun?  Was a LOT warmer than that indicated, or to me.  Something odd about how that is, and can get to me, on some days.  I was cooking burgers in the mid afternoon.  No, it wasn't the griddle.  It blasted me when I stepped out for a bit.  

It has gotten warmer in here.  But I am trying not to use the ac.  It is 75/79 downstairs.  I haven't checked upstairs since this morning, when I turned the ac off up there.  I left fans going.  Anyway, I just turned on the ac down here.  Oh, I should get the fan going in that room.  Helps, a lot.

Birthdays.

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My mother's is coming up.  I... never remember a card.  But... that... she is a patient woman.  A call, it seems.  But, sometimes, more?  Sometimes.  Now that I have a few tricks up my sleeve... more.  If... it works out.  I can only do my part.  The world has to do it's part.  My part has been done.

It's already early afternoon.  I turned off the ac upstairs.  Haven't yet turned on the ac down here.  At 74/75/76 (front room and computer area are the warmest) it is about time.  Feels okay, but starting to get... uncomfortable, even with the fan.

Up, a bit late.

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Down at ten.  The temp was 76, but I forgot.  Checking twenty minutes later, and it's up to 78 out there.  Ugh, but it's going to be a warm one.  Soon.  It was 73/75 upstairs, with it all unbuttoned and the flaps open.  I shut it all down, then turned on the ac before coming down.  Or that will become a hotspot.  I'll turn the ac off in an hour or so.  Create a cool(er) bubble there.

I closed all but the front door, downstairs.  Didn't turn the ac on, yet.  It's 72/69, the front room being the coolest for the moment.  I'll close that door when I turn the ac off upstairs, if not sooner.  As soon as I sense the warm coming in.  Not yet?  May do it anyway, when I finish this.  Then, too, turn on the ac.  As I suggested, I believe this is going to be a warm one, and I am already feeling it from those two quick trips out there.

Cooling quickly.

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At 20:30, it had already dropped to 73, almost 74.  Yes, that surprised me.  By 21:15 it was to 66.  Here at 22:00, it remains right at 66.  I am sure it will cool through the night.  Though... maybe not much?  It seems like we are finally hitting a warm spell?  It seems like it may be that way for a while.  It's... summer... so... yeah, maybe.

I won't knock it.  But it is beating me up a bit.  Ac's make it very livable.  But, at peak high summer, even caves, with ac, have limits in how much protection and cool they can provide.

Strangely warm.

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It seemed to creep up on me.  Perhaps I just forgot to close down the house soon enough, or else?  It is 88 outside, but 77/82 inside?  Strange.  I think this is around the time I closed up the cave yesterday?  Or... maybe my mind has turned to slush as it heated.

I closed everything up, for sure.  Then started the ac.  I went upstairs.  Which was closed up, and is 75/75?  Warm, and evenly so.  But not as hot as downstairs.  Whatever.  I turned the ac on up there, too, after making sure it was definitely closed up.  Just... cooling that area for a few hours, then I'll shut it down.  Maybe or maybe not the same down here.  Depends on where the temp is, and how it feels.

Not the best.

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Certainly could be worse.  Not even sure, exactly, what is wrong.  Sensors aren't reading well.  Aches, pains, organs, muscle, bone.  Nothing severe, if a goodly number of problems.  Each, it seems, stumbling over one another to report in a problem.  And I'm not awake enough to interpret the reports either.  Have definitely had worse.  This is just a local low, for the last... week or two?  Or so.

Twenty to nine, I think, is when I woke.  Warmer, this morning, or seems it.  73/73 downstairs, 73 upstairs if 74 near me.  The upstairs was open, as were the windows downstairs.  It was 70 outside already.  Could be a warmer day, maybe a hot one.  I'll just hunker down, if so.  Probably either way.  Almost still tired, but I couldn't sleep more.  Wanted to be up earlier anyway.  Don't always get what we want.

Oldies.

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Mostly.  Who is... there?  Who is looking around.  One, or two, sure.  It happens.  But... these are just a smattering.  And the intensity.  I couldn't avoid noticing, no matter how strictly I attempted to ignore.  Have I touched someone, caused them to remember something?

Yes, I... am... brutal?  And, yet, not.  I... can kill, and happily, peacefully.  Or die.  And, for the right people, if I am in the right place, both are... possible.  Not for pleasure, not with hate, not in anger.  Merely, if I do such things, merely for the right reasons.  Trained?  Who knows.  Who cares.  Just... that I can, and would if I could, either, as needed, for the right reasons.

A very pleasant day.

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Sure, it's warming.  Into the mid 80s.  The house is warming.  Into the mid 70s and higher in the front room.  No ac on, a few fans.  Sometimes these temps are difficult, some days they are quite... nice.  Today, up to very recently, they have been nice.  Starting to stretch things.  I can fix that.

Gaming, mostly.  A bit of caring for Sassy, her needs.  As well, I made burgers and set out a steak, salting and peppering them.  I let the burgers sit for a while, to see if salting and bringing to room temperature does to burgers what it does to steaks.  And?  One data set won't give a perfect answer, but... yes.  I think so.  Less salt is needed.  Next time I'll about halve the salt.

Earlier than expected.

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Was it eight, eight thirty?  Something... nearly nine?  It was 66 when I woke.  At twenty to eleven, it is hitting 76.  Indoors it is 72/72 down here, with a fan going and a few windows and the front door cracked, just now.  I closed up all but the front door as I checked this last time.  Strange, but pleasant.  Warmer upstairs, when I woke, 72/73?  I haven't needed the air conditioners all that much this year.  Afternoons, down here.  A bit before and sometimes, often, during sleep.  If I am trying to cool the place off up there a few hours before bedtime, then opening up and shutting that down as I go to bed.

The middle of August?  Mid 80s used to be cooler days, but are more the norm this year.  Haven't had rain in a while.  Still, had more rain during what is normally dry then we get most of the rest of the year?  Rain, not including snow.  Maybe, maybe not.  Though we have had a lot of rain this year, on top of the extra snow this last winter.

The things being viewed, shown.

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I have my own doubts.  Human?  Probably.  But... there isn't a test which would prove one thing, or else.

Kept popping.  You have questions.  

Some days...

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I have to ask myself, sometimes, why I am still alive.  Sometimes due to pain, sometimes from a fogginess which makes living so very complicated, and other reasons.  Today it is because I have been unable to function.

I have been feeding and tending Sassy.  I made myself a meal, and coffee a few times.  But, beyond that, it just isn't happening.  Even gaming is... difficult.  Focus?  No, that isn't too bad.  It's... a will, or want, that is missing.  Something inside me just isn't there.

Food.

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Hungry already.  But I won't be eating for a bit.  I still need to wake, or wake more fully.  Coffee will help.  I just finally got to that, and am sipping my first dose of the day.  As well, I'd like to begin a few things, starting with a shower, shortly.

At a quarter to nine, it is at 68 outside.  Up ten degrees since the waking at 5:30.  Slow, but sure, the day is warming.  I'm sure we'll hit into the 80s today.  Unless a storm comes in.  Didn't look like that was going to happen, but... you just never know.

Awake?

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Mostly, I guess.  Dreamed of inheriting a small keep.  In really good shape, modernized.  Nice.  Sold it.  The taxes alone were beyond my means.  But did spend a bit of time in it, while selling it.  What a dream.

It seems just a bit warm this morning.  Outside is 58, so it's not all that warm.  But... that is a warmer morning, compared to lately.  The house is 70/70, downstairs, open with ac off.  Upstairs it was 66/70, with ac on.  Strange.  It feels like someone was in here.

A rather good day.

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A bit warm.  Just having a little struggle with that.  I have had far worse.  Recently.  Not a whine, just a note.  Sometimes this is an issue.  Though, too, I roasted chicken.  When heating it up, for a second round of the stuff, I forgot to turn the oven off.  Ugh.

Oh, but that chicken was a delight.  From breast to thigh to even the wings, it was excellent.  Nothing was dry, or overdone.  Nothing was a bit raw.  Much of the skin was nicely crisped, without becoming papery.  The spicing and herbs were perfect background to the main of the chicken.  Quite happy.  There is more left.  I'll strip what is left from the bone, put it in a baggy, in the fridge.  Might just put it on salad tomorrow.

I keep hoping to get out.  Back to the store.  Coffee.  The freeze dried will work, but that is more for... when... I can't get to the store.  Which... I can't.  I want to go to the bank, too.  To close the savings account, since I can't access it easily.  I have to call someone at the bank.  Not... preferred.  I have a different account going, at another bank.  So be it.

I have been meaning to get to that particular grocery store, which carries the coffee I prefer without all the faggotry of the official coffee store.  And to get to the bank.  Both for days.  No... weeks.  When I go in, for what I have had to go in to do, I haven't been able to get to the other things, or forgot.  Or... was crashing on the way home.  A mix of things.

Nice.

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That was some of the best chicken I have had in a very long time.  While I did add a lot of herbs, it wasn't a lot of any single herb?  Something.  The flavor background was perfect.  The scent was... perfect, while cooking.  Having it enclosed, initially, made it so the herbs became a part of the sauce, and the sauce infused the bird.

Done just right.  Fully done without being dry, or tacky or, grainy?  Something.  Even the breast was gently moist.  The skin was, while not absolutely crispy, was partly so.  Save where the last of it was cooking down in the juices.  But even that, since it had been flipped, had some structure to it.

After I shut the oven off, carved the bird a bit, readied my meal then consumed... by the time I was finished, everything was cool.  So I closed up the house.  It is 86 out there, now.  It will get warmer.  Though how much is anyone's guess.  It could go a few degrees, or even up to twenty higher.  It's still high summer.  Just because it has been cooler doesn't mean it will be.

Chicken.

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It takes a while.  I decided to brine the chicken.  Good thing, too.  There was ice inside the cavity.  While the rest of the bird was thawed, the ice would have make the cooking messy.  Anyway, I got that done.  Then dried it.  But, that wasn't enough.  I let it dry longer, then dried it again, inside and out.  Wrapping it in paper towels, I gave it a bit more time to dry more fully.

Finally, it was ready.  I set the oven to heat in time to be ready for when the chicken was ready.  I used a roasting pan, lined with foil, as the base.  Then herbed and spiced the chicken.  Salting inside and out, adding herbs on the outside.  Lots and various herbs.  Rosemary, thyme, white pepper, garlic and onion powders, and others...  Everything that goes well with chicken.  I just... wanted a really flavorful bird.  We'll see.

Then I wrapped the chicken, whole, in more foil, put it in the roaster, and let it go.  Forty minutes, then I opened it.  Letting it roast a bit more, before turning it for a bit more in a bit.  The smell is fantastic.  I hope the chicken tastes as good as it smells.

A very good sleep.

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I should have turned the ac off, but I pretty much went upstairs and collapsed.  Thought processes had ceased well before I went up.  I did open up this morning.  It was 66/69 up there, warmer near me.  Downstairs, with a few smaller back windows open and one fan going up in this front room, it was 70/72 in the main/front.  It is 50 outdoors.  Might drop a few degrees even yet.

Sleep was fantastic.  Mostly.  The blankets are a mess.  I needed to straighten them.  But, being that tired, and with the fan and cool, it wasn't possible.  So I had to squirm and wiggle and try to stay as warm and under the covers as possible.  Sometimes size doesn't matter, sometimes it does.  My blankets, while quite large, just cover me, with a bit of extra.  If well set up, to start, that will work.  If not, a roll, a turn, kicking legs out, or pulling them back under, and... poof, no coverage somewhere.  My sleep, at best, is a series of rolling, churning, turning, kicking of legs, rowing of arms.

I have learned, somehow, to find rest in that mess of a process.  And, usually, pretty good.  But, too, I have finally learned... on keto/carnivore mostly, that my body has cooled.  So, I need to keep blankets on fairly well at 73 or less.  Much better than when living a higher carb life, and being too hot even in the mid 60s.  I wasn't comfortable until in the 50s, honestly.  While I don't eat perfectly, I eat well enough that this measure is telltale.  As well, in the day, I can handle up to, say, 75?  If I am inactive.  Going to town, though, even at that temp, and I still need the ac.

Bedtime, finally?

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Late.  21:30.  Just... couldn't quite get on to bed.  Up at, what, five?  A bit after?  For me a very long day.  The ac should have the place cooled.

While I was letting the diffuser send rifts of jasmine, my mind remembered a song.  Oh, my sort, of course.  Summer Breeze.  Covered by... a real band.

And an addition.  The scent reminds me of youth, and some of who I shared my youth with.  Uhm.  I have lived.  Still live, but... differently.

Almost bedtime.

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A pleasant day, truly.  Couldn't get to work, but it was on my mind.  Did do a few little things.  Something is something, after all.

It is down to 79 outside.  Staying at 74/78 in the back of the house and hotter in this front room.  Upstairs, all closed up, with just a fan going, was 73/75, hotter near my bed.  But that's the side the sun comes up on, and it is right above the computer and gaming console.  So... yeah.  not sure which it is, but I think it's mostly just the sun.  The west side of my house has tree shading it, so... yeah.

A slow day.

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It's up to 84 outside.  And, without a fan or ac, is just up to 76 here in this front room, near the computer.  It is 73/75 in the main of the back and this room.  Quite nice, if it's time to turn a fan or two on.  And, maybe, the ac in a bit.  Not sure about upstairs.  I'll check in a few hours.  If it's in the mid 70s, I'll turn the ac on to give it time to pull back a bit before bedtime.

Three days of wearing compression socks is helping.  And remembering medicine, mostly.  Very light dosages, with an aspirin thrown in every other day or so.  Sometimes every day, if there is some pain.  I haven't been checking bp, but pulse?  Resting is running 68, highs are 109?  Without medicine, my lows are... between 110 and 120.  So, not bad.  Lows.  I may have been correct, they may have been trying to overdose me.  Maybe not directly hit me, but get me with kidney and liver failure.  Doctors aren't your friend, especially not ones working for the government.  Understand that.  This very light dose is enough.  And it doesn't truck me down.

I'm not able to get to much.  Having trouble doing more than sitting.  I did get a steak cooked.  Delicious.  And, done rightly.  It was a thinner steak.  Not the thin cut, but not the thick.  An inch, give or take.  Bone-in.  The thinner steaks are more difficult to track, if the bone helps slow the process, but also alters things, in that the bone absorbs more of the heat, leaving the meat around it a bit rawer.  Still, I... love meat ripe off the bone!  Something about chewing it off the bone adds... flavor, texture, something.  We all have a touch of caveman in us?  But, that was about perfect, as steak goes.  I am improving.

Up and at it.

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Well, half of that.  I slept really well, according to my gauges.  The ac was still on, as it was rather warm when I went to bed, outside.  Too warm.  And I was a bit warm from not using the ac downstairs.  It was just on the edge, but I went without.  So... ac, upstairs, was a requirement for sleep.  When I woke it was 66/69 (warmer near me, this time).  Still, beautiful sleeping temperatures.  The same as when I went to bed.  Blankets were needed, and enjoyed.

It is all closed up, down here.  And is 71/72 inside, warmer up front though I could chill it by opening the front door.  May, now that I'm thinking of it.  It is 58 outside, could drop a few degrees yet this morning, sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.  Still, it's a beautiful morning, as things in this region go.

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I did get to it.

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Not all of it, but the majority of it.  I did what I could.  The floor, cleaning.  Well, and the wheels of my chair.  I'll have to do more, in time, next time, when I wake.  That is what I could do.  Played my game for a bit.  But, couldn't do that well or for long either.

I closed up the house.  It's 77 up front here, 72 in the main, last I looked.  It was 72 upstairs.  But bedtime is approaching, quickly.  So, while upstairs, I think it was already shut, I turned on the ac.  I'll check the windows, to be sure, before going on to bed.

Seeing stars, having some difficulty breathing.  Strange.  I took medicine.  That usually helps.  Though, it's... got to end sometime.  Not sure why I am so exhausted.  Outside is too hot and too bright, thought about sitting out for a bit, just couldn't.  I did cook the meal, but that was about all I could do.  Had to get inside, sit, for a bit.

Fantastic.

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A full meal.  The last of the corn.  I tossed all else out, as it was... not great.  If, I realized, not horrible.  Simply not fresh.  This one last bag, though, I saved.  A baked potato, too.  Starch, carbs, sugars, but... it's been a while.  A complete, from scratch, from fresh at once, meal.

I had two packages of fish out, from yesterday.  I prepped the griddle, and then got them going.  The problem?  One group of fish was paper thin, the other thick as a brick.  No problems.  I just cooked each to done, at the thin while the thick finished, then polished that off.

Very nice meal.

I have some cleaning to do.  I needed knee pads for it, and got them.  The water is ready.  I'm not.  Not quite?  May start it anyway.  Spilled something, need to clean it up.  Almost never do that sort of thing.  Embarrassing.  Went for McD's a few days ago.  Got regular soda.  Went to set it on the desk.  Missed?  Bleh.

A bit more gaming, then I'll get to it?  Or... do some now, some later?  I... know... which.  I just don't want to do... which.  Still, it's...  Yes, mother.  :p

Into the freezers.

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I've been buying meat, but just putting it in the freezer.  A big drop in.  Fairly new, give or take.  So fairly efficient.  I am sure there are more efficient, but those always cut corners, and aren't reliable, in almost any way.  I have learned to avoid anything "high efficiency".  The technology isn't there.  You just pay more for subpar performance, endurance, quality.  Though, as one of your kind suggested, do as thou will.  I attempt to do as is wise.  Choices.  Or... live and learn.

Anyway, today, I dug into both the fridge and dropin freezer.  Both placing meats in by type and purchase date, roughly.  Pulling some for the freezer over the fridge, the immediate access meat.  And then setting the water purifier system and blender station back on top of the freezer.  All good.

A rather cooler morning.

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I wasn't sure if the storm, and cool, would blow through, melt away.  I firmly expected it to no more than stay the same.  But, at 46 this morning, I would say it definitely dropped a decade of degrees or so.  And, I'm not certain that is as cool as it will get this morning.

It's about 5:30 as I get to this.  Woke a quarter after or so.  A few minor tasks first thing.  Sassy, food and then litter.  Dirty clothes collected from upstairs and the bathroom, taken to the wash room.  Coffee water set to heat, then made.  The beginnings of a better day.  To be around a quarter after twenty hundred?  Give or take, so nine hours down.

As exhausted as I was, after pushing and pulling to get out, and really trying to get to the store since... Friday or Saturday at the latest as well, I was completely washed up.  I woke, yesterday, at two, or three, I believe.  Didn't get down until that late, for pushing to get out, then having to back off the pushing... which takes a while.

The final shopping.

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To the store, to pick up steaks.  And fish, as it turns out.  It was beastly though.  To get out, I had to stay up, because I... couldn't quite get a shower.  But I had to do it today, or the price would go up.  No tomorrow.  So, I... pulled, pushed, and fought for it.  And, made it.  Broke my left nut doing it, though, I think.  Oh well.

Beside the steak I ordered, they had cod (US, wild caught), and sole... the same.  Or... so it was labeled.  I... am not sure I trust, at this point.  Just as likely fished by Chinese slaves, but what fish they put in is anyone's guess.  Or what they do to it, or how they process it?  Then, just label the ship "US"?  You can't trust these people anymore.  I really shouldn't buy fish, not from local stores.  Though I can't afford verifiable fish, not sure even that is trusted.  Remember, the USDA is there for their own employment, and kickbacks.  They aren't working for you anymore, if they ever were.

Still chilly out there.

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It wouldn't seem to cool, even cold, save that it was so cool last night.  Then the rain chilled even that.  It is nearly noon, and it is 64 out there, 73 in the warmest spot in the house, here near the computer.  Compression socks aren't even warming things up.  All good.  Save that it is just into the first week of August.  Yes, this might turn out to be a very cold wet winter.  I am sort of curious just how big that lake in California can get.  And how much the Great Salt Lake could refill.  Needs it, badly.  As for Cali?  That's a lot of fruit and veggies gone.

Though, to be frank, people aren't buying much these days.  Even I have backed way down.  Not only am I simply eating less, initially from the jacked prices.  But now I am spending half or less what I was spending, on top of inflation.  I am spending half as much without accounting for inflation.  I had been spending four to six hundred a month.  Yea, but shut up.  Now I am spending between two and three hundred.  A bit more this month because burgers and then steak went on sale.

Then again, I am probably finished buying for a few months anyway.  But, I have burgers and steaks to last for some time.  And chicken.  Buying whole chickens, lately.  Not sure the parted parts of chicken can be trusted at this point.  It's too hit or miss, and that is money lost if it's not good.  I have some hope the whole chickens are processed and cooled fast enough.  The parts... may or may not be.

Chilled, quickly.

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Last time checked, it was 58.  I was gaming, it's all I could do.  Then, it just got... almost downright cold?  Well... I noticed the drop, to be sure.  So I went to check.  It was only 54, but it had been raining.  Oh, that makes the 54 a lot cooler than it seems.  At 4500 elevation here in the valley, things just aren't the same as on the flat lowlands.  And, sometimes, cold air, from the heights will get even much colder, and tumble down.  Doesn't seem like it, doesn't measure out, but yes.  Cold.

All good.  I closed the front door.  For now.  May close a few other windows.  Turned off all fans, downstairs.  I don't mind the upstairs getting fresh air, so that can remain open.  It won't cool down here.  Without the furnace running, I just don't mind.  Though... the furnace doesn't warm up there, so even then I might not care.

I am thinking of getting to something.  I didn't make the keto spaghetti yesterday.  My little pots were all dirty.  So, actually, I did do something.  Scraping, clearing, washing, twice, rinsing, and drying those.  They are on the counter, clean and dry by now.  Ready to make food.  Yeah, I had made beans in them, then left them to goo.  It... wasn't fun, but clean they are.

Burned out.

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Not sure why though.  It has been cooler, but nicely so.  I think it hit 80 today, or close.  But... that's nice.  It only got up to 74/76?  Or so.  Didn't have to turn the ac, didn't feel the need, have a want even.  The upstairs was 68/69 when I went to bed, 66/69 when I woke.  Nice.

I had good sleep.  I had food, coffee.  I got a shower in.  I made it to town, to pick up the steaks.  Which... weren't there?  A day late and they are gone.  But, I could and did reorder.  I won't fuss.  And, it was my fault.  Half dead or not, the world had rules.  I'm... not upset about it.  Plus, the steaks I reordered will be fresher.  Never worry.

Life has been quite pleasant, but I am have trouble living it even so.  And, I keep forgetting medicine.  In this case, putting it in a dispenser won't really help.  Forgetting would happen wherever it is.  I'll... try to get back to it.  I did get storebought milk, while in town.  For kefir.  I'll pull the kefir grains out, get them thawed, and...  Actually, they will thaw in the milk.  Though I need them to be thawed enough to drop out of the little containers.  Shouldn't take long.

The first few doses will be tossed.  It just isn't... good.  It takes a while for the kefir to really get going again.  I can't wait for that to be back on the menu.  I had to quit for the summer.  I couldn't keep up, well, in the heat.  Even with the ac, the heat is... oppressive.  Especially for us old ill guys.  I simply couldn't keep up.  On the good side, I did get all the jars and jugs cleaned and ready.  Lids on, so they will stay clean.  Though, I will put in the 160ish F tapwater.  I keep it hot.  But, at that temp, for ten minutes, it will pretty much sterilize.  Here is one quote "150 F for 20 minutes", I'll take that.  At 160, it will take less.  But, twenty minutes is fine.  Put them in a dishpan, flood them inside and out, with their plastic lids in tow, and... that should do.

Oh, another problem, was I wasn't able to wear compression socks.  The heat just... I couldn't.  Even with the ac.  Not sure it was just the heat.  Wearing those, for a while, tests one's fortitude.  They are harsh.  I just couldn't do much, medicine, compression socks, food.  It's been a slower summer.  But, fall is coming around.

Someone at the store was complaining that it was 80 outside.  I had to laugh.  It isn't uncommon for it to be 90, even 95, this time of year.  I just told her 80 is pleasant.  Didn't tell her that I'm three quarters dead, with a bad heart, a flooding body, and else, to boot.  Kids these days!  It really was nice, and I had compression socks, slacks, and two shirts... a t with a short sleeved semi-work, semi-dress shirt... buttoned up, too, if only the t was tucked.  She got a bit butthurt.  Though, she was chunky.  Then again, so am I.  Bleh.  :p

I got grapes and grapefruit.  The first of each month, I look around for something... different.  Fruits, usually, though sometimes worse, say corn chips and salsa, guacamole, such.  Cherries, if they look good, grapes, oranges, whatever looks the absolute best.  Grab a bag, or several, or such.  Even a few little plackets of berries.  Just... a... treat, usually a better one.  Variety, and such.  Finishing the grapes.  Will hit grapefruit the next few days.  Yum.  All sugar, but... yeah.

On to waking and polishing.  Grapes, that is.  A shower at some point.  I did open up the upstairs, turned off the ac.  The downstairs had a few windows open, I opened the rest upon waking.  Will open the front door.  It's 58 out there, so not terribly cool, or cold anyway.  But, pleasant.  Be well.

Yes, I see you too.

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I usually don't say much.  You visit as you will.  And... your... a guy.  Don't need notice.  Still, sometimes.  Just so you know.  I... do see.  This time?  A message.  You'll know.

I love it when she visits.

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Several of them.  I know when they are here.  Some of my... shows... draw them.  I think several have, of late.  Forgot to notice... was... thinking.

Don't do the titles.  No witch, as I have suggested before.  A child of messengers, no more, no less.  Most likely.  They know some things, suspect things anyway.  Who... really knows.  But, certain of my expositions draw them, collect them, pull them to see.  Evil, themselves, or me?

A rather good sleep.

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It was a bit cool, to be honest.  It was 68 near me, when I woke.  And when I went to sleep, 66 in the main of upstairs.  Trying to keep my feet warm enough, and cool enough, was an ongoing effort.  It has been 73 up there, at it's coolest, for the last month.  It'll take a bit to get used to the cooling conditions.

Dreams.  One, very long, very simple, as if I had gone on to work, after the Navy, and over twenty years in an office... the life and times of a corporate climber, I guess.  One of the most dull and uninspired dreams I have ever had, that I remember.  If that would have been my future, I think my time was better spent in pain, dying.

Then, one of Sam.  She was alive, again.  She ran up the stairs, I thought to find a place to sleep.  But, no.  The window with the ac, in the dream, was double pained.  Or... somehow different?  For some reason, Sam wanted out.  Her will knocked the ac out of the window.  But, the top back framed glass part came down.  So, she was trying to crawl up through between the windows, but couldn't fit.  I gently extricated her, and was going to take her outside... since she wanted out to badly.  Such a sad dream.  I don't know why.

Nothing.

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Nothing done.  Can't seem to do much.  Every time I would go to get started, I would end up right back where I started.  I did get food cooked, eaten.  It's... something.  Without food going in, there is no real chance to get at things.  So, I'll... keep eating, and making jabs at the list.

It is 74/75 down here, with the ac off, the place closed up.  Upstairs has ac running.  I'll enjoy that.  I won't turn the ac on down here, when going up.  Sometimes I do.  I just don't think it will be needed.  By the time I wake up it should be cool enough to open up.  15:00, as I am about to go down.

Not perfect, but I am stealing my way back into daytime.  Rather than sleeping at three to nine, or such.  Not sure if it's from effort, though there is that.  Or if the days and nights are just cool enough that I can push it on around.  Never can tell the cause, can only really see the effect.

Finally got to the steak.

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Had to wait until sunup.  Wanted to be more sure it wasn't going to rain again.  No great suffering, just had to turn the grill off and cover it up.  Without being able to see the sky, I wasn't willing to take another risk on it, is all.  It was and remained 55 through the night.  Which, given that it rained two or three different times, and dropped a pretty good lot of wetness, wasn't a bad temp.

Wherever these storms are coming from, it is relatively warm.  Then again, it is just August.  Strange.  But every year can be strange.  Most years, as a fact, are a bit peculiar.  Some places are hotter than usual, by a lot.  Some places are just hot, as usual?  I have a few eyes and ears on the ground, in various places.  I even check in with them, from time to time.

The steak came out just about as perfect as the last one.  Night quite.  This one could have used just a bit more cooking.  It was, pretty much, on the edge of rare and raw.  Just enough that it was still edible, but as mentioned, could have used just two more minutes.  I know why.  When I leaned it, to cook on an edge, it tipped.  Didn't cook on the edge, and hit the sidewall, so didn't cook flat, either.  Warmed it, some, but didn't really cook it.  I'll... figure something out, for that.  Even so, it was a fine meal.

So very nice.

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To bed around 15:30?  Up to an hour later, if I don't think so.  Pushed to stay awake later into the day.  Did!  Awoke a bit after midnight, but was able to stay in bed, even sleep, waking each hour after until I finally woke at a bit after four.  I thought three, but looking at the clock, I am sure I haven't been awake an hour and an half.

So, yes.  Though I probably did wake at a bit after three, as mentioned.  Must have thought that was when I awoke, but seeing the time now, not.

Sassy was fed, first thing.  Then I set up the last steak which had been thawed in the group recently.  Salted, peppered, both sides, with garlic powder on top.  Sitting out to meld and spice for an hour, forty five minutes really.  Then I turn the grill on.  By the time it is ready, the steak will have matured for a full hour, come up to room temp, the works.  It's how to do it.